The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 650 - James Donald Vance - Part 1
Episode Date: September 10, 2024Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources  Litter Robot Squarespace ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So I travel a lot. I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right?
So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home
That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently
I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado
And I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs
We were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a
yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more
enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour
in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know
just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money.
And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb.
It's really just as simple as listing your place
and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away.
So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles
while you're out there exploring the world.
Turn your home into an Airbnb.
Give it a shot.
You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much
at Airbnb.ca slash host.
You're listening to the dollop on the all some of you are watching. Some of you are
watching. You're listening to the dollop on the all things comedy Network. This is an American History podcast where each week I,
Dave Anthony, read a story from American History to Man
with Hat and Shorts.
Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is
going to be about.
Doing a lot of visual stuff for the Patreon right now.
So if you want to watch Dave and I look down
the barrel of the camera on Dave's casting couch, join the Vidal at Patreon. He just winked into his.
This is a casting couch. This is where... This is where you sleep. This is where sometimes
when I snore... This is your fart couch. No, I don't have a fart couch. I have a fart area.
It's called a house. The fart zone. That should happen. You know what I was thinking
is that we should... That would be so funny to have like a room at a restaurant that was
for passing gas. So we should... I mean ideally... Farting or none? Ideally we could recreate
it and sell the chair but... I just really think it's a good idea. I really do.
I think what we should do is recreate the chair
and then do some sort of fundraiser for the chair.
And then we can start a GoFartMe.
And then we give someone the fart chair
and we give the money to a charity.
A fart charity?
Yeah. A f-char-f-f- something there. Fardery. It's close there.
Yep, ferrity.
But yeah, I mean, I just.
People who suffer from constant farts.
Yes.
I saw, watched a TikTok or Instagram thing today
where a guy always orgasms.
He can't.
Oh, right.
He has an orgasm thing where he'll be just walking.
And he's in hell.
Yeah, he's just like, uh.
Yeah.
And he falls on the ground playing golf.
And he stands up and he goes, I just had nine.
You like it?
Just the fucking, oh.
That is awful.
I would get castrated.
Yeah, well, I will castrate you.
OK, well, I don't have the.
Yeah, right, OK.
All right.
But anyway, this is the dollop.
We're the bad boys.
We also have an Apple+.
Go there.
There's a second season of the UK series.
We're not done recording this year.
No, we used to have more to come.
We've got reverse smallups.
Whatever you want.
Yeah, whatever you want.
Yep.
Well, I mean, just those things, really.
Grab an apple.
You know, we've got all kinds of fruit.
We've got fruit bowl.
Stop.
So this episode, a research was done by Charlotte George.
And Charlotte has done a lot of our episodes.
She's Australian.
She's a director and a writer.
And she has created a new series that is really good.
I watched the first part, and I've
watched some previews of all the other ones.
But it's good.
It looks very good.
It looks very good. Very very good, very funny.
It's called Buried.
And one of the basic ideas, it's a mom with a little kid.
And something happens.
Something bad happens, and then she doesn't handle it right.
A relatable problem that she handles improperly.
And then, well, hijinks.
As with any good product, Hijinks ensues.
But I showed the trailer to Gareth,
and Gareth was like, no, that looks amazing.
Looks amazing.
It looks legit.
So it's at buriedtheseries.com.
That's correct.
It's just all there online for you.
Yeah.
So please check out Charlotte's stuff.
Share, watch. She does a lot of work for us here
We got drunk with her one night drunk over the one night
I'm on zoom
Wait, I thought we met her in person. Oh, yeah, that'd be amazing. I'd you didn't do zoom drinks in the
Yeah, I guess I did it. I did I know you wild zoom
Sometimes I just turned on zoom alone. Just so I was like, I'm doing Zoom drinks, and I just drink on the Hans.
What?
August 2nd.
This is not the right date.
This is a bad start.
Well, maybe it is.
Jesus.
No, no, it is, it is.
God, he's that young.
August 2nd, 1984. He's that young? This is going to be...
I'm about to hear... I'm going to know this person, obviously. Yeah. This person is younger than me.
You might... Do you watch the news? I've watched... You might not know who it is.
James Donald Bowman was born in Middletown, Ohio. James Bowman. It's an industrial city 30 miles north of Cincinnati.
OK.
His parents, Beverly Carroll and Donald Ray Bowman.
Now I know who he is.
Donald Ray.
Yeah.
He was called JD.
That's the nickname.
Stop it.
No, it's Bowman.
The last name is Bowman.
Stop it.
He had an older half-sister, Lindsay.
Oh my god, dude.
JD's grandfather was called Pa-Pa.
Dave.
Pa-Pa.
Pa-Pa.
Pa-Pa.
Oh, boy.
He would like the fart couch.
His grandfather was named James Lee Vance.
He's from Kentucky.
Jimmy Lee Vance. So Dave, let me just try to put the pieces together. Goance. He's from Kentucky. Oh, Jimmy Lee Vance.
So Dave, let me just, I'm just going
to try to put the pieces together.
Go ahead.
Nothing, go ahead.
No.
He had an older half-sister, Lindsay.
He was married, sorry, JD's grandfather
married his wife Bonnie when he was 17 and she was 14.
You know, it's, and look, it's not creepy until he's 19
and she's 16.
Stop blinking.
An ex-neighbor said James got her pregnant at 13,
so they had to get married.
Oh, Christ.
Yeah.
13 is young.
Oh, yeah.
And then after that, they moved to Middleton, Ohio,
which was more industrialized, less poverty there.
Sure.
Sure.
Baby lived a week.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Didn't make it.
JD would call his grandmother Beverly mama.
Was it me ma or mama?
Me ma.
I think it's ma.
I want it to be Mima.
It's not Mima.
It's M-A-M-A-W.
So it's Papa and Mama.
She had three kids, Jimmy, Beverly, and Lori.
OK.
So Papa worked for a steel company.
Sure.
And JD's grandparents were committed Democrats.
They loved the Dems.
Stopped the steel. Yeah, OK. They loved the Dems. Stop the steal. Yeah, okay.
They hated the coal companies and thought not all rich people were bad, but all bad people were rich.
Ooh!
Ha! Kind of right there with them.
Yep.
But they believe in the American dream. They still believe in the American dream.
Mama, quote, never be like those fucking losers who think the deck is stacked against them.
You can do anything you wanna do.
Yeah. Right?
Fucking, he can too.
That's right. Yeah.
Yeah.
JD's mom, Bev, was born in 1961,
and by the mid-60s, Papa, he was drinking.
His drinking was bad.
Sure.
It led to domestic violence against the wife
and kids. There's no comedy there. No. So Mama tried to get back at him in sort of
bizarre ways. Great. Hiding his wallet in the oven? Yep.
Cutting his pants while he slept? What's she going for? She's like, I'll prank my
way out of this.
What's the angle here?
I'll show him.
Put a couple fingers in that warm water here.
See what happens real quick.
A little saran wrap on the toilet seat
ought to fix this marriage's issues.
She'd serve him fresh garbage for dinner.
What?
What kind of?
What is, like, the?
I don't know.
Is he like, the hell is this? This looks like shit. What is this, what kind of, what is like the... I don't know. Is he like, the hell is this?
This looks like shit!
What is this, newspaper?
This is the bottom half of a Wendy's cup!
Bottle caps?
This is the end of lettuce and the bottom half of a Wendy's cup with some shredded vegetable tops.
These are coffee grinds!
Alright, what the fuck is this?
This is a fish skeleton!
I'll be honest, this dinner is not g- this is trash!
Exactly. This is garbage fish skeleton! I'll be honest, this dinner is not good. This is trash! Exactly.
This is garbage.
Yeah.
Or the best part is if he's like,
that looks good, honey.
Ah, it's nice.
Oh, no.
He's just eating cigarette butts.
Pretty good fries.
I've had trash potatoes.
Trash potatoes.
Once, after a bender.
That gave you, that's what you did. I did. You actually have had trash potatoes. Once after a bender. That gave you, that's what you did.
I did.
You actually have had trash potatoes.
You had to cancel two shows because of trash potatoes.
Yeah, yeah.
Once after a bender, Papa was passed out.
So Mama poured gasoline on him,
a little match and dropped it on his chest.
Holy fuck.
Pranks!
Goofballs!
This week on... You're on Scare Tactic! This week on Mama's Pranks! Yeah, okay. Their 11-year-old
daughter put out the fire and saved his life and somehow he only had mild burns.
Hmm. But the marriage was over at that point. Like that's a... What's he... he's...
Well he clearly didn't
have the strength to work through the hard... everyone says there's hard times
at marriage that you have to work through. Oh yeah. If you love the person. Oh
absolutely. Apparently he didn't have that. I would say most of my relationships
I've been lit on fire or have lit on fire. Yeah. That's just kind of... 90% at least.
Well yeah that's just kind of how you get through it. We had a pretty big fight last night.
What happened?
I don't know.
It just escalated, and then I just put gas on her
and lit her on fire.
Yeah.
That's a metaphor.
We talked about after.
It's a metaphor.
Huh?
That's a metaphor.
For what?
That I lit her on fire?
Yeah.
What is it a metaphor for?
I don't know.
What do you mean?
You're saying it, what you're saying, it's a metaphor, right?
What I'm saying is what happened.
You set your...
Yeah, I put Dolores on fire last night.
I mean, we just were...
I deleted a show she wanted.
Yeah.
And then I just, she really was upset.
And I said, well, you know, I said, we'll get a free,
I said, we'll get Paramount for a week
and we can finish watching it.
But it just stuck in my cross.
So I just covered her in gas and just lit her on fire
for a second.
That's not, you shouldn't.
And then she used, we have a fire blanket in the house.
She put that on her, you know.
But today, we both woke up with a bit of a renewed sense of.
Is she scarred?
She was burned.
But she's fine now.
But I'm just so, I'm just like, I have to remember to
cancel that subscription.
Because otherwise you pay for that forever.
That's when I. I have to go call the police. Yeah. Because otherwise you pay for that forever. That's when I-
I have to go call the police.
Yeah.
Have you heard of rocket money?
So Bev, my ma, sorry, yes.
My ma's daughter Bev.
Wow.
Because Bev's also-
Is that JD's sister? My ma's also Bev. It's Bev too, really. But yeah, mom's daughter Bev. Wow. And is that JD's sister?
It's Bev too, really.
But yeah, Bev has JD's sister.
Oh, right.
Gotcha, gotcha.
Weeks after graduating high school,
and she moves in with her boyfriend.
OK.
But he was abusive, so she left.
OK, good.
She didn't go for any of like, she wasn't like, I'm going to.
I'm going to just.
Take one of his socks away and make it an irregular pair.
I'm going to shave an eyebrow.
There you go.
No, she didn't do that.
She leaves.
And then she marries a guy named Don Bowman a few years
later.
I think this works out.
And then JD is born in 1984.
OK.
And Bev and Don broke up.
The perfect year for him to be born.
Because he's like, I'll get us back to it.
Yeah.
This is a great year.
So they break up a year later.
Oh, wow.
Bev and Don.
But around the same time, Papa gets sober,
and he gets back together with Mama.
Nice.
It's amazing what knocking the bottle out of it might actually do.
Look, I mean, I know I drank a lot and don't remember stuff, and I combusted you.
I'd say you had fire.
So, we both did stuff.
Most of this comes from JD's book, Hillbilly Elegy, so I would say take it with a grain
of salt.
Right.
Is that just a heightened version of his reality
to some extent?
Or is he portraying it as his reality?
No, he says it's his story.
But the stuff like she fed him garbage at dinner, I'm like,
yeah, no, sure she did.
So he probably took some liberties, shall we say.
So at age six, JD was told he'd never see his father again.
Because his dad had remarried and has a new family now.
I love that.
That's like...
I can't do two.
Sorry, you know the rules.
You only get one active one.
Sorry, I got a new boy, one. Sorry. I got a new boy one. Sorry. Yeah
Bye boy, too. Good luck
JD quote I had a better boy
JD quote it was the saddest I've ever felt well that is
Sad for him he's gonna go up to be a monster. Hey, I'm still looking at a little boy.
Yeah, OK.
He doesn't have the beard yet.
He's never inserted himself into a couch.
He was born with the beard.
He's like a little Lego man.
Yeah, he's a little Lego guy.
So Bev next marries a guy named Bob Hamill,
and he adopts JD and Lindsay.
And so JD's last name is now Hamill. Okay
So Bob and Bev bought a house
Lot of bees going on. Walkable to my mom's so very close in the neighborhood
Bev went to school and she got her nursing license. Okay
So they're not they're they're not poor and they're happy. Okay.
And JD and his mom bonded over football, like she really liked football too.
So when JD was nine, they decided to move to a more rural part, a remote part of Ohio.
Okay.
And JD says he knew it was the worst thing that could happen to him.
It's not?
Well, I mean, that guy got lit on fire. You could get lit on fire. That has happened in your circle.
Yeah. So you would think moving farther away is not. Yeah,
there's worse stuff. Yeah. Bevin Bob's fighting was just
getting worse and he starts to get physical. Bob does Bob.
JD's great. Who is fucking with? No JD's grades are suffering
because he can't sleep and he's getting stomach aches.
Little baby ulcers.
Bev tries to kill herself after a fight with Bob.
She drives the family van into a pole.
And Mama is not sympathetic at all.
That her daughter tried to kill herself.
Who tries to kill themselves
by crashing a fucking car if you wanted to if she wanted to kill herself I got plenty
of guns I'm not kidding it's that was like kind of what I was thinking I hate I'm not
just to be totally honest I was like that's how you know it was just like momentary like
insanity because you're just like fuck it like if if you're gonna do it, you'd be like, yeah Yeah, there's plenty of guns like a much like that surviving that you're like now
You're like you broke a lot of bones. Yeah, the one on the side of mama
The worst is when people take a lot of pills because often they survive and then they're
Oregon there's a bunch of fucked up organs. Yeah that ride
So Put that right. So, Bev takes the kids and moves back to Middletown.
OK.
Now, Bev, she's single, right?
And she starts hanging out with a younger crowd,
like people who don't have kids, partying.
And once while driving, she gets into an argument with JD
and threatens to crash the car and kill both of them.
She has a move.
That's just parenting.
She has a move though.
She knows it upset him once.
This is what the gun people say.
You kill people with a car too.
She's like, exactly.
You don't need a gun.
Just go right hard.
Like JD will.
You want to go through the windshield, motherfucker?
I've said that so many times. Well well I've said that to Luke a lot yeah
well we both have to Luke yeah by the way we got a lot of Luke snacks teed up
ready to go shit patreon patreon we make Luke eat the craziest doesn't make any
sense for a history show but go ahead. So she doesn't crash the
car but she pulls over because she's gonna beat him and JD then runs away from the car and he
runs to a nearby home but Bev finds out where he is kicks in the door and then the cops are called
she gets arrested. For what? I don't know parenting. What is she doing wrong? I don't I can't I don't know, parenting? What is she doing wrong? I don't, I can't, I don't know.
J.D. now moves in with Mama and Papa.
Okay.
And Mama read the Bible every day, but she's against organized religion.
Interesting.
Interesting.
She believed that God helps those who help themselves.
Interesting. Like you. help themselves. Interesting. Also interesting.
Like you.
Yep. That's what I believe.
Yeah. Well, you say that's interesting, but she loved Billy Graham. She loved the...
So the... She doesn't like organized religion, and yet the biggest religion coach of the
era, she's like, yep.
I mean, that's organized
crime religion yeah that's right yeah it's exactly is so JD gets in touch with
his biological father who invites him to his Kentucky farm and there he finds he
now what 11 he's yeah he's around there and there he finds a family that is calm
there's no shouting there's no drinking like And there he finds a family that is calm. There's no shouting.
There's no drinking.
It's like a family family.
And J.D. said this is due to, quote,
a phenomenon social scientists have observed for decades.
Religious folks are much happier.
Regular churchgoers commit fewer crimes.
Well, again, Billy Graham.
Also, the crimes happen in the church
with the diddling and whatnot.
So, hmm.
Yeah.
It's just.
Yeah, it's just nonsense.
It's safe to say that this crime is everyone.
It's not, you can't really figure that out.
Yeah.
They're Pentecostal?
Well, I will say Pentecostals commit less crimes
because they die from snake venom. So
So dad tells JD he only gave up custody, you know, that's such a funny like hard cut of like
What would you like some more vegetables and maybe a little more pork JD? Wow. This family is amazing
What normal folks they are and maybe after this we'll watch a little bit of TGIF.
I like that, Dad.
I like that, Daddy.
But first, why don't we each have a handful of snakes
and we'll just talk in tongues for a little while,
and if we get bit, we'll ignore it.
What?
All right, here we go, everyone.
Ah!
You guys are so normal.
Yeah, here's your post-dinner snakes.
What?
Are we normal? Hold this, Cobra.
Uluca-bacca-lay-ca-booga-laca. Ula-ca-bacca-geegabooca-laca-ge-baba.
Ula-ca-bobadababababababa.
Gus got bit in the neck by a python.
It's alright, JD.
Gus is dead.
Uba-geegagabawagadeegabobalee.
So, JD tells, Dad tells JD that he only gave it custody because he's worried the custody process would just be too dramatic, right?
So that's why he walked away.
So JD starts hanging out with his dad more often and he gets closer to the evangelical
church.
Quote, my new faith had put me on the lookout for heretics.
Hell yeah.
I'm a Baywatch for the Bible.
He also got into the culture war media, like the war on Christmas stuff.
Jesus.
Quote, for the first time I felt like a persecuted minority.
Wow.
Yeah, I mean, and by the way,
you do have to try pretty hard to be able to do that
when you're a white guy from Ohio.
The whole War on Christmas thing jumped the shark
when Megyn Kelly said that Santa was very clearly a white man.
Yeah.
That was when you're like, you know what?
I don't think we should be doing this anymore.
So when Papa died, the family started
pre-mated apart. Yeah.
I'll do it. I'll do it right now.
I tried to do it 20 years ago.
Bev tried to aside again.
She was arrested after she was standing in the street
just yelling at people.
You can't do that in America.
No, no, no more. She no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, All I hear is that you don't want your nurse to get around fast. Let me tell you, if I if I'm in a hospital and I see a nurse rollerblading,
and I'm listening.
Yeah, I'm not listening.
But I'm pitching that as a TV show.
By the way, skater,
it's called skate and then the ER's capital.
She was addicted to prescription pills.
Well, were there any signs?
No.
JD moved in with my mom and Beb asked JD to give, one day she comes and she asks JD to
give her a clean urine sample but he's just had it.
He refuses.
They get into a big argument fight.
This is how you do that.
You go, JD, I'm pretty sure you've been smoking pot and I'm gonna give you a fucking drug
test right now. Yeah. Pissing this. Yeah. You don't go like hey son can I grab you
spare a little spare a little clean piss. Just you've been smoking pot pissing
this. Pissing this. Yeah. Just opens her mouth. Oh wait. Oh this got weird. So, uh, my ma also not great, she called JD a lazy piece
of shit if he didn't take the garbage out and shit for brains. That's dinner! Shit
for brains if he didn't do his homework. Okay. So she liked the word shit. Shit for brains
is definitely one of my favorite words. Yeah, it's great. Have I ever told you to go shit
in a hat story? No, I don't know. Maybe. When I was living in San Francisco,
I was living with this guy, Vernon Chapman, who
I think you have told me this.
He created Moominchaunts.
He created what?
Was it Moominchaunts?
No, not Moominchaunts.
What the fuck is the name of the show?
It was an MTV show with the puppets.
God damn it.
I forget what it's called.
Wait, I think we have done this.
And is it liquid television?
Is that what you're talking about?
It wasn't liquid television.
It was another, I can't remember the name of it. But it liquid television is already it wasn't liquid television. It was another
But it was a it was a puppet like it was any that kids on the street and it was crazy Oh wonder shows wonder shows and we go to one of shows
So he used to do that when we lived together, but anyway he he he used to he had to call
It's like he had a job like calling to like sell roofing or something like some fucking crazy job
And he would call this woman and she was like I was
And he started talking she goes go shit in a hat and then we thought it was so fucking funny
We called her every day. We would just we call it five times a day and she would only say go shit
That I got the phone. Oh
It's so good, that's what I feel like my ma was.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
That's shit for brains.
So good.
So his grades improved.
He starts getting good grades.
Less shit for brains.
Less shit for brains.
He's put into an advanced math class.
No shit for brains.
He gets a job at the local grocery store?
Brains for brains?
And that, he says, turned him into an amateur sociologist.
Oh, dear.
OK.
It just means you're observing people.
You're not an amateur sociologist.
No.
You're watching people.
You're at a grocery store.
Yeah.
He was resentful that we'd.
You know, I've noticed people are hungry. at a grocery store. Yeah. He was resentful that rich people had tabs and that poor people, quote,
gamed the welfare system.
Jesus Christ.
I love, it's the little things.
It's the little seeds.
They bought soda with food stamps and then sold it for cash.
It's so fucking funny.
Get yourself a Coke!
It's so funny.
Get a Coke over here!
It's so funny in a country with so many very rich people to be like,
poor people want soda.
Yeah.
Fucking dare you.
You ain't got soda money!
It's just who gives a shit crazy
They buy quote food with food stamps and beer wine and cigarettes with cash
Okay, fucking depressed
Country that you what the fuck are you talking about?
What do you think? What do you think is going on right now? Hey, you lost your job
You then what you think the rich don't spend their fucking money on vodka people like to drink
We tried to outlaw it for nine years and the
Function didn't go well. I got one real quick story, then I'll shut up my buddy Brett. You're welcome my buddy Brett
went to a Bucks game once and
He this is insane
They were doing the Bucks fan of the game and so bingo the Bucks mascot is going around went to a Bucs game once and he, this is insane.
They were doing the Bucs fan of the game
and so Bango, the Bucs mascot is going around
and he's trying to pick the fan of the game
and my buddy Brett sees Bango and Bango's about to give
the guy he went to the game with a year's full
of free using her sausages until Brett just starts dancing
a little tipsy at the end.
So he reaches over the guy who brought him and he gives it to Brett.
So Brett won free using your sausages for a year, but they only gave him like regular
and Italian.
But basically he could take these coupons to the Sendix, this grocery store anytime
he wanted and get a box.
But he, there were other flavors.
So he started hating the two that he could only get.
So he started hanging out
nearly using your sausages in sendix and when someone had come over and they'd grabbed the
Italian he'd go, excuse me miss, I noticed that you were going to buy the Italian ones
and the person would be like, what's going on?
And he'd be like, I have a coupon for those for free so if you bought the Polish kind,
if you just bring those out I'll simply go up there and get you a case. And they were like, I don't understand.
What's going on?
He'd be like, so basically, I want a bunch of these sauces.
And people would be like, get away from me.
You'd just be hanging.
Especially if you knew the way Brett looked,
you'd be like, it totally makes sense.
It's just, excuse me, man.
I noticed you were reaching for the Italians.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
That's fucking crazy.
So he's also upset that some people on Wuffer have cell phones when his family doesn't.
Okay.
Whatever.
Gives a shit.
It's just like mind your fucking business.
I just cannot get into the weeds of what poor people can and can't afford if you have Elon Musk about to be a trillionaire.
Right. If you're-
I just can't, I can't get, you get rid of that and then I'll start shaming the purchases
with you if you want.
Yeah. What about not giving the oil companies $50 billion a year?
Yeah.
What about that?
Yeah. So, let's solve that economy.
Yeah.
And then you can start telling me who can buy sodas. Yeah. What about that? Yeah. So let's solve that economy, and then you can start telling me
who can buy sodas.
Yeah.
He was also upset that he had to pay taxes on his small paycheck.
Sure.
While his welfare drug addict neighbor bought T-bone steaks.
Boy, this guy is.
The origin story is already pretty grim.
Yeah, you have a shitty brain., it's you're looking for this quote
It was my first indication that the policy of mama's party of the working man the Democrats
Weren't all they were cracked up to be now. I just want to say I think this is fucking bullshit
You think that he's kind of retro actively creating his Joker vat of asses story?
100%.
I think he worked at a grocery store and didn't think of anything.
Maybe he got a little mad that people had tabs and he couldn't, maybe he didn't like
that someone had a cell phone, but this whole fucking, this is like, this is what, he's
like fucking 14 or some shit.
Yeah, right.
Come on.
I already knew what was going on. He says this is why the Appalachia region and the South turned from Democrat to Republican.
This general, everyone was just a societal scientist.
Yeah, the policies of the Democrats did all this.
Not race or religion or anything like that.
It was just the Democrats and their policies.
Yep.
Often in hillbilly elegy, JD uses the term we.
We scream and yell at each other.
Our kids go to foster care but never stay long.
We don't study as children.
And we don't make our kids study as parents.
We choose not to work.
It's all we, we, we we because he's a hillbilly.
They are we, right?
They are we together.
Nothing about the circumstances.
It's all their own bad choices.
And he's not from Appalachia.
He's from Middletown, Ohio.
Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
That to me is the biggest problem.
But my mom and papa taught him to america and that it's the greatest
country on earth
quote
agregates
uh...
uh... disagree
uh... you wouldn't think i would but you know you've seen a bit of a homer to
me yeah
quote the fact this fact gave meaning to my childhood.
It's just so fucking, you know, so dumb. You read this and bought the shit. You know, it's very Scott Walker. Yes, it is very scary. I thought of that while I was doing the story. It's very Scott
Walker. Yeah, it's very like here are the, here are the issues that grazed me. Yeah. You're like,
buddy, you're a big dumb idiot,
so I don't care about how you got there.
Yeah.
And then just saying that your grandparents' love of America
is what gave meaning to your childhood,
what the fuck are you talking about?
I also think that wouldn't it play?
One of the things that it seemed like Trump did so adeptly the first run was he was the first guy who was like
there's a lot of fucking problems here.
Yeah, it's kinda shitty.
Like, don't you want someone who is coming in and going like,
guys, we really fucked up. We gotta do a lot differently ASAP.
Like, if your campaign slogan was, we really fucked up, you would win the election.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, it's kind of what is behind MAGA to some extent,
but that's obviously.
Also.
Yes.
Yeah.
Where it's not like, yeah.
It's not like that's going to fucking do it.
Yeah.
So at 16, he vowed to go out of his way
to shake the hand of any veteran he met,
even if it was an awkward interjection.
I'm in the middle of a psychiatric evaluation.
Put her there.
Well, hold on.
Put her there.
Sir, leave this man alone.
He's having trouble with,
he doesn't want to touch people right now.
Go ahead, put her there, sir.
I just want to shake your hand.
I'd rather not.
I want to.
My right arm doesn't move right now.
Well, let's shake the,
why don't you shake your leg?
Not that.
Just do it.
It's the only way to get him out of here.
How about I rub your nose?
Jesus Christ.
I am rubbing the nose of every veteran I see.
Come on, thank you.
I'm JD Vance and I will rub the nose of every veteran.
You're a good little man.
He's got a wet nose.
I mean, he's healthy.
Healthy little boy.
The opening of-
Is he a boy or is he a girl?
Oh, I see a little penis.
Okay, stop.
The opening of chapter 10.
Quote, during my last year of high school, I tried out for the varsity golf team.
Oh my God!
The impoverished youth!
Yes, the poor kid playing golf.
The varsity golf team. Like, how do you write a book about being this horrible,
hillbilly, impoverished, nightmare, oh I almost made the golf team.
What do you think, seven iron? What do you think, and wedge?
His SATs were good though.
By the way, is that bum drinking, what is that, the grape soda?
This is disgusting. Excuse me, I want to like, tee off.
Now watch me hit this drive.
His SATs were good enough to go to college,
but they couldn't afford it.
This is where our stories take a different turn.
Well, let me just say this also.
I talked to an admissions person from USC once,
and she brought up how they hate people
from really rich high schools
Because they get every opportunity and they might not be that good as students
But kids that have gotten really good grades in a tough situation
They like a lot more because that kid they know will do well, right?
Values the opportunity more so if you if you get good grades and you're from a school that's you know having all these problems
You're gonna stand out and you are gonna get more opportunities, right?
So it was 2002 it's a year after 9-eleven do you remember what that is?
Guy drove a Buick into a I think I drove a Buick into a building
They always say remember it and I always forget I don't remember I know right that's it, and I always forget. I don't remember what it was. I know, right?
That's why I feel bad, because they're always like,
remember 9-11, and I'm always like.
Are they?
I rack my head, and I just can't remember.
I rack.
Probably had something to do with it.
Yeah, they probably did it.
Yeah, anyway.
OK.
So he joined the Marines.
Quote, like any self-respecting hillbilly,
I considered heading to the Middle East to kill terrorists
You know what's first of all, it's just obviously shocking. It's like a wrestlers
You know, that's like a rest of what a wrestler would say essentially. Yeah, but also
He's when you see JD Vance
No part of you is like hillbilly
Like he's not playing that character as well as he should if that's what he's going
No, and while researching this
We both did the reason I watched some videos. Okay, and there's a hillbilly accent. There is there's a very genuine Eastern
Kentucky like in that area. There's a genuine accent and this guy doesn't have any of that shit. Oh, right, right
That's what I mean. So it's interesting. Yeah, I mean, well, it's not really because he's from Ohio. Yeah, he's from Ohio
But also saying like any self-respecting hillbilly I consider hiding the Middle East to kill terrorists
It's such a like yeah base bullshit stereotypical
Nonsense, it's like a video game pitches a quarter
It just says there's no there's no diversity of thought within this
community which is fucking bullshit. Binary go kill terrorists. You gotta go to the place
and kill the terrorists. And it did work. It did work, yeah. It was great. He said he
thought if he didn't go he thought he would regret not participating in America's newest war. I mean, and our greatest. So Mama is pissed. She said he was an idiot,
and he goes and joins the Marines anyway. And in April 2005, Mama had a collapsed lung
and infection and she died. Oh, shit. Okay. Now, JD gets sent to Iraq. Sure. He does not kill terrorists.
He was a, quote, public affairs marine.
A public affa- what does that mean?
He's a propagandist.
He's a PR marine?
He is a fucking PR marine.
He's a propagandist.
He does propaganda.
That's what he does.
Well, he was already kind of practicing it, so.
He escorted press and wrote stories
about the units that were fighting.
You'll see, this is where the terrorists are.
Could you believe some of these terrorists
are drinking orange soda pop?
No drug fighting at all.
He did get a commendation.
They sell those at CVS.
For running media relations well at a biannual air show.
Oh my, I mean honestly, you turn that down.
You turn that down.
You do turn that down.
You're like, if that is my Purple Heart, I don't want it.
No.
You know, I remember when I served as the man who walked people from the press back
and forth at an air show for three and a half hours.
Memories from that day will never leave me.
It's just so fucking bad.
It's just like, you did a good job at the picnic.
Jesus Christ, man.
Framed on his wall.
Hey, how'd you get that medal?
Well, I don't really like to talk about it.
Oh no, was it hard?
Oh yeah. Remember the Iraq War?
Yeah.
I wish I didn't.
Oh God.
Let's just say one day there were about 15 people.
Yeah.
A press corps.
What?
On an air carrier.
What?
And they needed to go talk to three different admirals.
Okay.
And they needed someone to walk them back and forth and show them where the taco bar
was.
Oh.
I'll tell you, the crunches I heard that day will never leave me.
Oh my God.
It took over two hours.
Alright, I'm gonna go now.
And then I went into my quarters where I lived alone.
A lot of people had to share bugs I didn't.
And I jerked off.
Okay, I'm gonna-
I had to VPN so I was allowed to get bored out there.
Did you get the award for jerking off?
No, no, no, no!
Those people from the press, every one of them survived.
There was no incumbent fire that day, but boy, I'll tell you,
there was when I got back to my barracks.
OK, I have to go now.
Well, let me lead you out of here.
No, no.
There's no one better than JD Vance
to lead you out from one room to another when there's
no pending damage or threat.
Stop talking.
All right.
Now come on, boys.
You're going to dig deep and walk out of this room as one.
Oh, shit.
The dollop is brought to you by Litter-A-Robot.
Oh, buddy.
Oh, okay.
You want me to start now or you want to go?
Yeah, go ahead, kid.
Get in there.
It's the best.
I truly am always doing an ad for Litter for litter robots in my world of people.
The greatest compliment that I guess I get over that
is that people are like, your place
doesn't smell like cat litter or bathroom,
whereas I guess it used to, and nobody had the heart to tell me.
But there's an app connected to it, but it pretty
much does everything on its own. It just takes care of it. If your cat uses it, as soon as
your cat's out, it just rotates it. It puts it all in a little reservoir beneath it in
a bag and then you toss that bag out. Notifies you on your phone. Notifies you on your phone,
but you don't need to change, you don't need to like scoop it. Yeah. It's just, it's the best. It's the best.
Over a million happy pets and parents have upgraded to Litter-Robot, so what are
you waiting for? Whisker is currently offering $50 off Litter-Robot's bundles.
As a special offer to listeners of the show, go to stop scooping dot com slash dollop
and use promo code dollop to save an additional 50 on any Litter Robot bundle. That's a hundred
dollars off any Litter Robot bundle at stop scooping dot com slash dollop and use promo
code dollop. Stop scooping dot com slash dollop promo code dollop. All right. We are also brought to you, I don't
know if you've heard of this place, Gareth, Squarespace.
Oh, Dave, I actually hit my head recently,
and all my memories have evacuated from my brain.
What is Squarespace?
Squarespace is all in one.
You got your websites, domains, everything you need.
You can sell products on there.
As a guy who, again, doesn't remember anything,
that sounds like it's the peak of convenience,
makes it easy, and is expanding in the opportunity
that it provides you.
That's correct, Yareth.
It is so, so easy.
You can do flexible payments.
You can make checkout seamless for your customers
with simple but powerful payment tools.
They take PayPal and Apple Pay and credit cards
in tons of eligible countries.
And they offer customers the option to buy now and pay later
with Afterpay.
I'm sure that I, again, I don't remember anything from my past.
I'm sure if I had a website, though,
it probably would be from somewhere else, right?
No, Gareth, you have.
I used it? you have Squarespace
for your garethrentles.com I use Squarespace for my webpage and then of course both of
Dolops the sources page and our website all with Squarespace. We are all in with Squarespace.
It's starting to ring a bell. You can easily manage your clients and invoices from vetting
leads to receiving payment via invoices in one streamline,
costable workflow. You can sell content. You can sell exclusive content right on your site by adding a paywall and sell memberships or courses or sell files to your customers.
They can download like PDFs, music or ebooks. It's all doable. It's so very doable.
And they got 24 hours to support.
A little very doable. They got 24 7 support. A little too doable. So check out squarespace.com for a free trial.
And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
And say that again, squarespace.com for a free trial.
When you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I think I'm gonna do it
So I travel a lot I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right?
So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home
That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible.
Recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins Colorado and I was with my friends and we were shooting
some stuff and before we got to the gigs we were like let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a
more comforting existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know it's communal living,
it's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable experience.
So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months,
I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb?
You know, just to have someone watching your place while you're gone
and make a little bit of money.
And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb.
It's really just as simple as listing your place
and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your
home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your
home into an Airbnb. Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it
can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at
airbnb.ca slash host. After four years in the Marines, he leaves in 2007 and he goes to college at Ohio State
in Columbus.
Much of that is covered by the GI Bill.
Gastrointestinal.
He also got a job with a state senator and JD said there he gained a real respect for
the political process.
Well, let me tell you something, JD.
This is where you're definitely wrong.
He said they weren't crooks like Mama said.
They're good people doing good things.
He also worked at a nonprofit and he said his work schedule was so intense that he ended
up in the hospital after untreated mono turned into a staph infection.
Well, I mean, that's on him.
I don't know.
I also don't know if that's what happens with a mono.
I don't either.
It seems the whole thing seems like horse shit.
Sure.
He now had hospital bills, and he took a third job as a tutor
to pay for his bills.
And this is why he said he supports
universal health care.
I don't know if he still does.
I bet if you asked him today, he would say he didn't.
But we don't have universal health care now.
JD, however, says he chokes up when
he hears Lee Greenwood's cheesy anthem,
Proud to Be an American.
Look, if you tear up when you hear the song, Proud to Be
an American, lobotomies are a thing you can do at home.
There are people who probably genuinely
do feel that way for whatever the reasons are.
But tearing up.
Anyone who is involved in politics or near politics is tearing up so that if you make
fun of them you're unpatriotic.
The idea of hearing that song, I mean first of all Lee Greenwood looks like he's made
out of Clint Eastwood's wrinkles. He
looks so crazy now. He could not look crazier.
Yeah. But, and also, there was probably a time
when you were like, yeah, that song now at this point is like, come on, what are we really
doing? What are we doing?
Stop. What are we doing?
This is no longer, we're not allowed a slogan here and look around I mean honestly it's not good but the idea
that you like talk all this shit about the place you're from and how the people
aren't that great and they don't do anything and they're lazy and stuff and
then you're like proud to be an American you like what the fuck you talking about
well it's that attitude that lets them get away with murder in the billionaire rich person class.
So, he graduates from Ohio State in 2013 with degrees in political science and philosophy.
He gets a generous financial aid package to go to Yale Law School because he was one of the, quote, poorest kids in school. And that's true?
Yes, his entire year at Yale, on the house.
Total free ride.
He called Yale the cheapest option because of the financial aid package they offered.
So so far, this self-made man has gotten a GI bill passed, gotten that free, and now
Yale has given him.
So surely he's a socialist.
The reason for this is because part of Yale's, I guess,
should we call it a DEI program, is
to give aid to those who will be the first to get
a degree in their family.
OK.
Yeah, it's called the Braggart program.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Yale calls them first generation professionals.
That is so demeaning.
I'd ruin a fucking...
That is so demeaning.
And you get a little sash that says,
I'm a big boy.
There you go.
And a little cupcake with your little candle.
Look at you, gonna go be a bigger wolf.
I can only imagine how those people are treated at Yale.
Oh, God.
Quiet, here's one.
Oh, hi.
Ha ha ha.
Oh, welcome, way to go.
Run, don't catch poor.
In his book, J.D. says those who succeed
are ones who have high expectations of themselves
as opposed to structural support or, you know, luck or whatever.
Sure.
At Yale, he felt like an outsider because he was poor.
He was invited to an elite Yale dinner, but didn't know what spoons were for.
What?
What happened?
Why'd y'all put the musical instruments next to the eating devices? What's What? What happened? Why'd y'all put the musical instruments
next to the eating devices?
What's happening?
I don't know what's happening.
I have a question.
I mean, that is so, like, arch.
OK, but I'll also say this.
Like, there was a story, like, 10 years ago, very,
I think it was Clemson.
But they had started to teach kids
table manners and all of the fucking utensils and everything
how to use them all properly because no one knew.
Because the kids just aren't taught that anymore.
So even at a top school with rich kids,
they don't fucking know.
It's not a thing that, I don't even know if I knew, like if I went rich kids, they don't fucking know. It's not a thing that...
I don't even know if I knew, like if I went to college, I don't even know if I knew at
that point what the different spoons were for.
Oh, the different spoons?
Yeah, I wouldn't know what the different spoons are.
If it's got nothing to do with being from fucking...
Yeah.
It's just not...
Soup spoon, the big guy.
That's what logic would lead you to.
Yeah, exactly.
But also, a beautiful thing about the evolution of this
country is we're not really a utensil culture anymore.
No, we're not.
We're bag to hand.
No, we're not too fork in it.
No, no.
And we all scoffed at the spork.
We did!
But now, there are better utensils.
That's the thing.
There are better utensils.
He spit out the sparkling water because he didn't realize it was carbonated. Hey!
Fuck you!
Everyone help!
Help me!
You play- you play golf motherfucker! Like what?
What is this?
There's little spaceships inside of my regular water.
Oh no.
What to do?
This water's poisoned with bubbles.
Nobody drink this.
It's got what comes out of the scuba diver.
Run!
Oh, what?
The- the- I mean...
It's just so-
Look, look. I'll- I'll- I'll-
Up until now,
I think you could sell a lot of people on the idea that you're like, pfft, gay and jigs, what's inside this murder?
No.
It reminds me of in the movie, Heather's, when they pull out two sparkling waters out
of a bag and the cops are like, well, they're gay.
It reminds me of that.
Also, how can you tell me that this guy sees poor people
drinking soda and is like, no, and then drinks this with water
and is like, what did you put in carbonation?
I put deep blue.
I mean, it's 2,000 and fucking.
Look, Troy's already hot. They're everywhere. I mean it's 2000 and fucking like it's
Everywhere already hot. It's they're everywhere. Yeah
So and when and when he'd go back to
Middletown he he would lie to them about being at Yale is what he says which I don't believe he would lie to them Like I'm not in there. He like ashamed of how
Well off he was right They, how well he's doing.
They certainly don't have soda in their water.
Damn right.
He meets his future wife,
it's either Usher or Usha.
I should have looked that up.
I did look it up, but now I don't remember.
Okay.
Usha Chilakuri at Yale.
Okay.
They were in a discussion group
on the social decline in white America.
Oh, fuck me. He was told, he told her he was in love with her after one date. That would be the perfect room to just, crazy, that would be the perfect room for gas to just come into the vents.
Hey, these doors are locked. One date he said he loved her. Yeah, that's, that's like runaway. That That's like if there's a dude and he says he loves you after one date
and you stick with him, you're both fucked up.
No, that's like truly men should have training to be like, here's what you don't do.
Yeah. This is him going, I've never been on a date before.
By the way, I'm the guy who can't stop orgasming.
I love you.
At Yale, he was also mentored by Amy Chua,
who is known as Tiger Mom.
And she is a professor at Yale, the law school,
and a corporate lawyer.
OK, great.
That's perfect.
She's Chinese Filipino.
She writes a ton of books on international affairs,
on culture and socioeconomics,
and of course, parenting, which is where Tiger Mom comes from.
Great.
Her Tiger Mom book was a huge best seller,
but some have called her parenting child abuse.
Well, I mean, a tiger raises a child
way different than a woman would.
Yeah, you pick them up by the neck and carry them around.
Absolutely.
You got to eat one or two every now and then to show dominance.
She's also Catholic.
Keep that in mind.
Make a note of that.
She was executive editor at Harvard Law Review.
Guess who was also an editor at Harvard Law Review for a year
as a student?
JD.
Almost as if he had a connection there.
So JD met Chuo when she was publishing her Tiger Mother
book.
Quote, Amy just took an interest in me
and what personal experiences had made me who I was.
Sure.
What are you pitching here?
Well, you'll see.
The Porkin?
No, no, not Porkin.
He saw her success and she encouraged him to write his own book. And of course she had connections. Mm-hmm
Because she she's got I am gonna write a book. It's gonna be called. There's soda in this water
Bubble why there bubbles in the water the book. It's called believe it or not. They're drinking bubble water
so he would write little snippets of his life and send them to her chew a quote
when I first when I read the first couple of passages he sent I thought oh
my god not only does this guy have a story but he writes with such honesty
everybody needs to read this mm-hmm mm-hmm she said she was very bothered by criticism of her books which JD relates
to. JD does not like criticism. So Chua became his mentor. Okay. As far as the
kind of person JD's mentor is, when Brett Kavanaugh was accused of sexual
assault after his nomination, Amy Chua backed him.
She said he was a mentor to women and her daughter would go on to clerk for Kavanaugh.
Oh, fuck me. You know, here's what sucks. I mean, that whole thing is annoying, obviously.
But what really sucks is that it just, like, it's like when you circle back to some of these names in more recent history and you're like,
yeah, like there was outrage and they just fought you down and now he's there and it's over.
It's over.
That's it. Brett Kavanaugh's like
that red-nosed WC Field yelling about Squeeb, party calendar,
sexual assaultus most likely, just there.
Yeah, and he had like what it was like a $100,000 of loans just all of a sudden disappeared.
Oh yeah.
Like it's just all so blatant.
But she put, having her kid go to clerk farm, she puts her ideology over her kid's safety,
not that he would sexually assault the kid, but that's a man you don't want informing
your child. So what you gotta do is- Hurt the kid, but that's a man you don't want informing your child.
So what you gotta do is...
Hurt the kid's world, right?
You wanna have a couple beers at lunch.
We call that a wet lunch, and that's pretty good to do.
And you're gonna wanna do that a lot.
And then when you go to dinner, you have a martini or two,
maybe an Old Fashioned, something like that.
But again, crushed beers, that's the main move.
That point, you can drive home.
Or if you get to the point where I am,
you can just take an Uber home.
If it's a female Uber driver, you
can tell her that you want more than she's willing to give you.
You can take it.
And then the next morning, you wake up at Squeebs.
And then you do it again.
So what do you want to do again?
Run. Yeah. For what, you want to do again? Run.
Yeah.
For what, public office?
You.
Oh.
You want to be a Supreme Court justice.
Well, we don't call that running.
We call that anointing.
So as far as JD goes, he asked Chuo
to help him get a clerkship.
And he was shortlisted. But then she told him not to take it.
It's too demanding, and they would ruin his relationship with his lady.
Sure.
So he becomes close with other classmates at Yale, and one was a trans man, Sophia Nelson, who goes by they.
Both were from Midwestern working class neighborhoods. So that's how they became friends.
And JD also said he turned to atheism while at Yale.
Which...
Like it's pot.
That was the first time I tried not believing.
He later called...
That's so funny.
He later called that arrogant and fashionable.
Oh, the fashionable...
It's so fashionable for your personal belief system.
You know, for a couple years I tried atheism.
I don't know. I guess I just believed too much beneath it all.
What?
It seems the biggest thing that came from Yale.
One night at a party, I tried being agnostic
for about an hour.
And well, a couple nights later,
I did my first hit of atheism.
And that led me down a slippery slope for a while.
How'd that feel?
Pretty weird, after recovery I became Christian finally.
I'm uncomfortable.
That's where we need you.
So the biggest thing that came from Yale
was when he went to see Peter Thiel speak.
Oh, fuck me.
Jesus.
Some of these names are going to drive me crazy.
Thiel co-founded PayPal.
With Elon.
And he's a huge VC guy.
He helped fund Facebook.
So he's a billionaire.
Yes.
It's so funny that he helped find Facebook, but then his face is insane.
Yeah. Phil believes governments, elites, and liberals have gotten in the way of
true technological innovation. Look, we need children's blood for me! Mainly
Mexican kids! Why aren't you all looking at me weird? Is it because my face is the vainiest part of my body?
JD, quote, Peter's talk remains the most significant moment
of my time at Yale Law School.
How to tell when to jail people.
What?
Yeah, I mean...
But isn't...
Well, you're getting to it.
But I mean, Teal, and surprisingly, Peter Teal
had a lot of money to give JD.
Yeah, so that's why I think this is the most significant.
Not because of what Teal said.
No, because of what Teal does.
Yes.
So not the content of the speech.
That's the networking.
It's meeting Teal.
That's the extent of it.
JD said, quote, we sort of had a conversation
that led to a job offer.
But it didn't right away.
Because just before graduating from Yale,
JD officially changed his name to Vance
to honor his grandparents.
Sure.
That's such a weird.
It's a weird one, right?
It's strange, because it's like, when more people,
it's weird.
Well.
Can you just love them?
It's not weird if you're thinking.
I'm also going to go by Papa.
It's not weird if you're thinking of an origin story.
Yeah, right.
Right.
Yes.
Right.
Boy, that is so fucking weird.
Oh, yeah. Towards the end of law school, Lindsey called JD and told him their mom...
And also, I play the jug.
God damn it.
It's got three X's on it.
His sister said his mom's on heroin now.
But she's going to rehab, but JD was like, that's not going to change anything.
So he graduates in 2013.
In his book, he describes himself as a Yale outsider who blew law firm interviews and
didn't know what it meant when he was asked if he preferred Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc.
Stop it with the liquid.
Stop it with your unrefined mouth.
I couldn't tell the difference between Coke and Sprite!
Now, wait a minute. They got a rosé? So it's like a white fucked a red?
You guys, I just wrapped my mind around bubble water.
Oh God, this wine has bubbles in it! My God, it's poisoned like that water I had once!
What did they call it?
Campagny?
Oh my God.
I mean, it's just all-
By the way, the idea that you're even near a circle that can tell the difference between
Chardonnay and Sauvignon Blanc is actually the problem.
You know what I mean?
Every time I go to a bar or a restaurant or whatever and I'll order like a Malbec
They'll be like we don't have Malbec. I'll be like literally if you put any red wine in this glass
I won't know what I'll believe it to be Malbec. Yeah
Yeah, the I mean yeah the vast majority of people don't know shit about wine.
They just don't.
In college, you're mostly drinking beer.
I mean, maybe it's changed, but that's how it was.
I don't know.
No, I think, well, whatever.
So that's just fucking bullshit.
So he conformed quickly and took advantage of social and academic opportunities.
New York Times quote, he cooked for charity fundraisers,
organized reading groups, doted on his German Shepherd Casper,
and led the Yale Law Journal's flag football team.
He spent a summer working on Capitol Hill.
So you don't do all that and then get out of college
and not know the difference between Yale,
between Chardonnay and, all the shit he just said.
They just said.
What you do in that time is you learn
that a way to seem regular is to pretend
that you don't know the difference
between Sauvblanc and Chardonnay.
Yeah.
And then you go out and you're like, what?
Did you guys know?
Again, I changed my name to JD Everyman.
Did you guys know? Again, I changed my name to JD Everyman. Did you guys know?
I mean these people are eating waffle fries. I know it's nuts!
In a 21 in a 20-21 speech
He said due to Yale quote
I got put in rooms with a lot of very wealthy and a lot
of very powerful people, the people who call the shots in business and government.
I'm a regular fella!
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, honestly.
Sure enough, right out of Yale.
Could I have one of the bubble regular waters?
Remember when he said he graduated from Yale and blew all the
interviews because he didn't like no stuff between. Yeah so right out of Yale
he gets he clerks for Senator John Cornyn. You know what he's like unfrozen
caveman lawyer. He's just like he's just like he really is just like, your bubbly water frightens me. And your varieties of white wine confuse me.
But at the end of the day, I know that poor people
shouldn't be allowed to use EBT cards for whatever they want.
Oh God.
So after clerking for the senator, he clerks for a U.S. district judge who was
the son of an ex-senator. And then JD got a corporate law job at Sidley Austin. So it's
a fancy, you know, very white shoe corporate law place.
White shoe?
That's like a...
I didn't know they made shoes in other colors.
A law firm that caters to the ultra wealthy.
Yeah. Um, I interviewed with SCOTUS judges like Scalia.
Your boy in the letter to Sophia, JD wrote of Scalia, quote,
he's become a very shrill old man.
I used to really like him and I used to believe all of his stuff about judicial minimalism was sincere, but now
I see it as a political charade.
It's hard because I like that he doesn't like Scalia.
Yeah.
Well, maybe he just says what he thinks the person he's
talking to wants to hear.
Usha, or Usha, whatever her name is, who cares,
ended up working for Chief Justice Roberts.
The best.
And then Brett Kavanaugh.
All right, boy.
On the DC Circuit.
The best.
He and Sofia exchanged letters regularly.
After the killing of Michael Brown in 2014,
JD wrote, quote, I hate the police. Given the killing of Michael Brown in 2014. JD wrote, quote,
I hate the police. Given the number of negative experiences I've had in the past few years,
I can't imagine what a black guy goes through.
What? So who is he pandering to now?
Well, still to Sophia, who's a lefty.
Oh, right, right, right.
His skill, I really think his skill is telling the person talking to what they want to hear.
Right.
I genuinely think, all the research I did, I'm like, this guy just knows what to say to people.
He's a shapeshifter.
Yeah, a shapeshifter, yeah.
And by 2015, JD said he was sick of the legal profession.
Sure.
And DC, and he moved to the Bay Area, California.
So now, I don't know how this worked with his wife.
I couldn't figure it out.
She definitely kept clerking.
So I don't know if he's splitting time
or what's going on.
He joined Circuit Therapeutics,
which was a biotech company.
Boy, he's in San Francisco.
Yeah.
Yeah. This robot takes your veins out.
And it's a car.
OK.
Circuit Therapeutics, a biotech company
looking to solve neurological pain and focused on veterans.
So they got a bunch of Defense Department money.
All I do is touch veterans. Oh, so they got Defense Department. Yeah, great.
You know what would be great? For the Defense Department to just fund the VA.
You know what I mean? With all that VA, with all that capital that they can put into Silicon Valley concept, moonshots.
Liberal stuff.
Give the VA money.
Are you? Okay.
Pitching, helping the veterans.
I don't know.
It just seems like you don't care about America.
Give the money to the... Listen, we know we're going to help the veterans in the long
term.
That's why we came up with this brain robot.
Why don't you just give them the brain robot money?
Make their lives better.
Now you're probably... Are you wondering how JD all of a sudden got this job?
I mean, it's very interesting the CEO said he hired JD quote because he was very smart
With an impressive background in the law
But also was a favor to Peter. Oh, so yeah, it's just all Peter teal. So it's teal. So teal is
Remember he said it led to a job when he had that first conversation with him. Well, this is years later, right?
Hmm. Well, this is years later.
Well, and I mean, Peter Thiel is like the king.
And he had invested in one of the CEO's other companies.
So clearly, JD kept in touch with Thiel.
Maybe they bonded over their love of the Lord of Rings.
JD is a big fan.
His favorite author is Tolkien.
Sure.
He's a Tolkien white guy.
They'll named his company Palantir, which we all know
is the crystal ball used by Saruman.
Yeah, exactly.
Palantir is a secret of big data analysis and surveillance
company that works for government agencies,
the U.S. intelligence community, and private corporations. The CIA was a big early investor.
Yeah, I think this is very Tolkien. Yeah, very Tolkien. Very Tolkien. Absolutely. So
that's what you think of when you think of a crystal ball. Absolutely. Yeah. No, I mean
the crystal ball is, you know, an intelligence collecting drone. Yeah, yeah.
It was connected to Cambridge Analytica, which mined Facebook data to help Trump win.
Great company.
Yeah, yeah.
That guy, when you watch that, the Cambridge Analytica guy, he was just, I mean, he did
not know he was being filmed or something.
It was just like, we can literally convince people that this is just like buddy.
Do you have a conscience?
Teal also named the VC company, co-founded Mithril, which is what Frodo
wore on the quest to Mount Doom and Thorin gave to Bilbo to protect him.
You know, he should come up with a way to reanimate Tolkien
so he can rip his nuts off.
Just be like, you didn't listen.
The right wing has an idiotic obsession with Tolkien.
Alright.
Fascist PM of Italy, Georgia Maloney, used to cosplay as a hobbit.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Why would you cosplay as a hobbit?
All the things in Lord of the Rings. Someone crunch me down.
I want to have really ugly hairy feet.
Yeah, you would think that they would be golems.
Right, you could be.
All like a room full of golems.
No, my precious.
My precious.
No, my precious.
No, it'd be my precious.
Our precious.
Rick Santorum is a huge Tolkien fan.
Oh, cool.
Well, he definitely walked away with the lessons properly too.
Quote.
Rick Santorum, when they tried to put him
in that conservative prick role on CNN,
they were like, Rick, I hate to tell you,
you're even too big of a prick for that fucking role.
Like, nobody likes you.
Quote, I'm also someone who believes
that the message of Tolkien is that evil must be confronted so the idea and expanded
The idea is that well we can wait until it comes to the Shire
But that is not a very good game plan you got to go to Mordor
give people social services
you fucking
assholes
stop just take all the money from Peter Teal and
redistribute it to the people who need it. I mean... You know it's pretty
complicated because we're on our walk to Mordor right now and we're really
billowing when we need to Frodo a little. Shut the fuck up! But you know what they
don't take away is the fact that, okay, they did go confront
evil, but what did they do to do that?
Well, they gathered up everybody from all the different groups.
All of the different people had to work together.
Yeah.
Fucking they're just like, only elves.
We need to kill the hobbits. So also Tolkien didn't want people to read his text one way, like no allegories.
He didn't want exactly what they're doing is what he didn't want.
Anyway, whatever.
So now JD uses his relationship with Teal and he's just starting to cash in on it.
He wasn't at Circuit Therapeutics long, but when he was there, he would pitch to VC companies,
like Teal's VC company, Mithril,
where he pitched several times,
and then that's where he gets a job next.
Mithril Capital, he started two months
before Hillbilly Elegy was published.
So he's about to be on top of the world.
Yeah, it's very interesting timing for all this, right? He was mostly gone promoting the book. A co-worker, quote, it never seemed like he was
even working. It felt like his full-time job was the book. So a conservative guy who's being,
I don't know, maybe groomed by the right to have a big political career.
And he's funded by one of the biggest billionaires
in the country and helped out by right wing Yale law professors.
And then, oh, right before his book is published,
he all of a sudden has a way to support himself
without actually doing any work.
And he can just do press and make checks.
It almost sounds like it's interesting, isn't it?
It is interesting.
Sounds like he works in Silicon Valley.
But they were just like, well, if the book makes money,
you'll be good.
But if the book doesn't make money, I'll take care of you.
Welfare.
This is exactly how it works with the right wing.
They just get fucking money to do shit.
And he was out there pushing a narrative.
And they hate socialism. Yeah, and they hate socialism. So, um, the New York Times, quote,
colleagues mostly remember him for introducing them to the ultra sweet big red soda. So they
don't remember him for doing any work. So he can't have soda? And who still loves on
this guy's soda journey? Wait, so, so they. Wait, so they were just like, boy, you gotta meet JD.
He's a real off shuckser.
You ever heard of Faygo Cherry?
Oh, JD, you gotta tell them about it.
And he's like, well, it comes in a bottle that you,
I'm actually from people who used to do
jam bands on the porch.
I'm from a shanty town.
But it's actually sold in a three liter bottle,
which is pretty rare.
I mean, he didn't do anything there,
except come around and go, have you ever had Big Red?
They're like, wow.
So the book is published.
Again, he gets tons of help.
Back to Amy Chua, who is a huge author
with tons of connections.
JD, quote, when the book first came out, she probably emailed every single television producer and personality in the United States of America.
Chua quote, I emailed everybody. They were these creepy emails to people like Tom Brokaw with lots of smiley faces and exclamation points. Yeah, so I'm gonna ride back right now.
Quite frankly, you've done one too many emojis for me.
And now I will send you an eggplant emoji and a dookie.
That's exactly what I was gonna say.
And then, I'm gonna fuck your shit up.
More later, Tom Brogan.
Anyway, he's clearly a self-made man.
So it's just so obvious they're grooming him for the world of politics.
The book starts as a conservative bestseller because the theme is,
you are the reason your life sucks.
Not society or politics or job availability or poverty.
It's you.
I really do hate the bootstraps culture. The bootstraps thing is the worst.
A month after publication, he was
interviewed in the American Conservative Magazine.
And from that point on, it was a hit.
And then liberals found out.
You brought up Oprah.
Oprah actually never recommended it.
But didn't she?
There's a headline that says something about hillbilly elegy and then Oprah's new list,
but they aren't related.
So it was just a poorly written headline, but then everybody goes, look, but she actually
...
I think she had him on for a million little bubbles.
The first time I had Perry a so liberals love it because they're desperately
seeking an answer for Trump's popularity and they don't want to look at it that
is so so that timing is insane they yeah they don't look at the Clinton support
of NAFTA or Obama's terrible sponsor the housing crisis they just want to look
at it and so now they can blame the poor.
Wow, so he really was able to be at that intersection.
Perfect moment in time.
Huffington Post quote, Vance truly
shines when he takes us with him down the holler
into an America we thought we knew.
He wrote a fairy tale.
New York Times quote.
Turns out Santa isn't black.
New York Times quote.
Essential reading for this moment in history.
Oh God.
I mean, it's not surprising when you hear these publications, you know, glob the knob,
but it's also just like, we got to stop listening to these places.
Absolutely.
The book is full of contradictions.
He points out structural and societal issues,
then blames individuals for the circumstances.
He points out social isolation, churches that no longer offer
social support, unemployment, a, quote,
peculiar crisis of masculinity, and says
many would see these as systemic issues,
but his experience says otherwise.
You know, the way that MAGA actually harkens back to the Southern strategy, dog whistling
racism, this concept of men are no longer men, really is trying to push you back to
back, you know, back when a guy could fucking hit you cause supper sucks.
Like, nobody, who's clamoring for the old fashioned man?
No one.
No one.
So he tells of working in a tile warehouse,
and he says, many of the workers were shit and didn't last long.
So that proves they bring poverty on themselves.
Crazy.
They're, quote,
Crazy. They're, quote, immune to hard work.
You can walk through a town where 30% of the young men
work fewer than 20 hours a week and not find a single person
aware of his own laziness.
Dude, you just said the factories are closed.
They can only get 20 hours of work a week.
You fucking ass clown.
This really puts... I would... This kind of gives you the...
Like his interior monologue, his internal monologue when he walked into that donut shop.
And he was trying to kind of like figure out what...
And people were just like, hey bro, we like hate your guts and hate our job.
And he was like, what's your favorite kind of donut?
Yeah, well... How long you been making donuts?
That's a great example of how he's not what he says he is.
Because if you were from the working area,
if you understood working people,
there's no way that's the conversation you have at all.
You just don't have that conversation.
He walked in like a rich guy who doesn't understand pores.
Yes.
Yeah, he walked in there trying to be like i'll play the part of it
how long you work here
okay he a he aided on it is a
so book cream and a doughnut
law
uh...
so he's saying factories are closed unemployment is high but they're all
lazy okay So he's saying factories are closed and unemployment is high, but they're all lazy.
OK.
He ignores racism.
He writes off the belief that Obama is a Muslim by saying, well, he went to two Ivy League
schools, just till he ignores that George Bush and Bill Clinton went there.
He basically said Obama is too clean and perfect and from a big city and wears a suit to work.
He said he wears a suit to work.
He said Obama wears a suit to work. He said he wears a suit to work. He said Obama wears a suit to work.
He says Obama wears a suit to work.
So great.
He golfs.
He paints himself as the hillbilly voice of Appalachia,
but he's not from Appalachia.
He's from Middletown, Ohio, a factory town
that avoided the serious closures of towns like Youngstown.
Kentuckian Jared Yates Sexton called it
damaging rhetoric that endorses policy used to gut the poor and discounting racism.
The New Republic called him a quote, false prophet of blue America and said the book was quote, a list of myths about welfare queens
repackaged as primer on the working class.
Historian Bob Hutton called it quote, primarily a work of self-congratulation.
Right.
Yeah.
Very much so, right.
But again, liberals loved it.
I remember talking to liberals at the time and I was like, you should read what people
who are from there
are saying.
And they totally dismissed it.
And I was just like, it's like I'm talking to a wall.
I'm telling you, the people from there
are saying this is bullshit.
But they were so wanting the narrative.
Bobby Kahn, who's actually from Kentucky, quote,
for those of us who grew up mired in poverty,
surrounded by addiction, these systematic problems
feel like being trapped in quicksand that only wants
to pull you further into despair.
There are no boots nor bootstraps,
no solid ground to get your footing,
when each day is a struggle for survival.
But the message is individualism and blaming the poor.
And that hits the sweet spot. But the message is individualism and blaming the poor.
And that hits the sweet spot.
And JD's now famous.
In October 2016, he told Charlie Rose he was a quote, never Trump guy.
Charlie Rose in his head was like, I remember earlier when I showed that woman my penis
at work.
What?
You can't come to the door in a bathrobe with it open?
Do you have tomorrow's production schedule?
Jesus Christ, Charlie.
What?
He is just such a classic example of like,
you're so lucky to be here.
You're so lucky to be an interviewer who excelled
at that level.
Somehow you got here.
Yeah, somehow you got here.
Like, it's a skill, but it's not so skill that you're one of the top two.
Yeah. Yeah. And then you're very replaceable.
You're just like, well, I can walk around my dick out now.
Yeah. It's just so fucking crazy.
I'm going to smoke my pipe and have my robe open.
Does that bother anyone? Charlie, what's going on?
JD also called Trump an idiot.
And in the Atlantic said,
Trump is cultural heroine.
On NPR, quote, I think he's noxious
and is leading the white working class to a very dark place.
Well, by the way, if anyone knows
what heroine can do to a person, it's
a guy who really didn't grow up around it at all.
That's right.
But at the same time he seemed to
enjoy that Trump got under the skin of liberals and the media. JD wrote to
Sophia quote, if he would just tone down the racism I would literally be his
biggest supporter. It's crazy to write these like Civil War letters but
about I wonder if Trump would ever be able to tone down some of that rhetoric.
I'll tell you I don't hate man, but the tweets drive me mad.
I miss you, my love.
After Trump won, liberals flocked to the book even more as they sought an explanation for
what had happened.
Hillary Clinton also blamed those hillbillies for her loss.
Quote, a culture of grievance, victimhood and scapegoating has taken root as traditional values of self-reliance and hard work have withered.
Unreal.
There's a tendency towards seeing every problem as someone else's fault, whether it's Obama, liberal elites in the big cities, undocumented immigrants taking jobs, minorities, groups soaking up assistance, or me?
Oh, my God. I'm just going to punch a hole through your wall.
I'm so mad.
I love when government
is like, we're trying to get to the bottom of what the issue is.
It's like, you mother fuckers.
JD was having issues and not getting along
with Mithral's managing partner, so he moved on.
That sentence is crazy.
You know, Mithral's just not what I thought it would be.
So he moves back to Ohio, and he bought a mid-century Gothic
revival in an expensive Cincinnati neighborhood
for 1.4 million. He announced he was going to focus on fighting the opioid epidemic in
Appalachia.
What? From my castle with my ravens.
Everything he fucking does is so obviously geared toward a political career that it makes me insane that they're like,
he didn't want to do it, but they dragged him in.
It's just so.
He is just laying the track.
Laying the track.
OK, so, whoops, did I move forward?
Yes, I did.
Sorry.
I put it down.
It moved.
OK.
So back in Ohio, he also takes a job with another VC company
in Washington, DC named Revolution.
So he's going to split his time and live in both places.
His wife is still clerking for SCOTUS.
Uh-huh.
So the way the revolution thing came apart is he had met the founder Steve Case who co-founded AOL before the election on
Twitter and they started DMing each other god I mean that is awful even these
guys do it yeah Yeah. Yeah.
You seem pretty evil.
What's up?
Yeah, right now I'm lying about a bunch of shit
because I think I'm going to run for office one day.
Oh, that's pretty good.
I have a lot of money and I'm kind of evil.
So before the election, they met at a fancy hotel in DC
and learned they both believed in, quote,
bettering the country by investing in outside tech
hotspots like South Carolina and Kentucky.
Trump country.
Case called it the quote, rise of the rest effort.
It's like, again, it's like you're like, eh, it's interesting-ish, but no, not you,
and no, not that.
And also causing a rise of the rest.
Let's hope the others.
Yeah.
JD was supposed to find startups outside of big places, so like not Silicon Valley, not
New York, to fund.
And Steve Case said JD was at the job, at Revolution,
quote, wasn't really working that much.
Cool.
He's going to be great.
And fit right into our political system.
Another investor told Business Insider, quote,
I don't recall anyone at Rise of the Rest
bragging about something JD Vance brought to the Fund.
But he was a guy who was always on TV and talking about the plight of rural whites so he could boost the Fund's profile.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
It's like when a famous person goes to teach at a school.
You're like, eh.
Yeah. OK.
All right.
Mitch McConnell then approached JD
and asked him to consider running for the Senate,
but JD passed because of his family.
I couldn't possibly.
Mitch McConnell's just like, well, you're very good.
It's actually not bad.
You should just make a bunch of money.
And then Ron Howard came on as director,
and Brian Glazer as producer to make the film version of Hillbilly
Elegy.
And that is the end of part one.
Two parts?
And part two.
Oh, shit.
My coffee spilled.
Fucking disgusting.
Also, Gareth's coffee spilled.
Sources.
Right. Sources, sources, sources, sources.
I want to make sure that I'm going to curtain.
OK.
OK.
JD, yeah, all right, whatever.
It's a dark curtain.
Congratulations, though.
JD Vance, Hillbilly Elegy, BaptistNews.com.
I'll be right back when you're done with the sources.
I'm getting paper towels.
Okay, Ian Ward, the seven thinkers and groups
that have shaped JD Vance's unusual worldview in Politico.
I'm just gonna say, Politico.com,
Bobby Kahn, In, Stephanie Sall,
JD Vance in Unlike You Friendship and Why It Ended,
New York Times, King Jordan, Newsweek, Helen Koster and-
So the news is that?
Yep.
Graham Slatery in Reuters, Kroll Andy in Bernstein, Andrea
in ProPublica,
Chris Morris in FastCompany.com, Dan Primack on Axios,
Kindertabby, Hammond, George, and Rogers, Alex, Financial Times,
and then there's a lot more. Wikipedia, Politico, The Atlantic, AP News,
People Magazine, Business Insider, Tropics of Meta,
.com, Washington Post, Forbes, Mother Jones, Beacon Journal, CNN, Columbus Monthly, Norwich Bulletin, India
Express, New York Times, The Guardian, West Virginia Public.org, Axios, The Lamp Magazine,
American Conservative.
Alright, there'll be more next week.
So I travel a lot. I mean a lot. Perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right?
So I'm out there, I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy.
And I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible.
Recently, I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado,
and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff.
And before we got to the gigs, we were like, let's just get an Airbnb.
And it is just a more comforting existence.
You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know, it's communal living.
It's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable
experience.
So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months, I always
am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb?
You know, just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little
bit of money.
And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb.
It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash
while you're away.
So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring
the world.
Turn your home into an Airbnb.
Give it a shot.
You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be.
Your home might be worth more than you think.
Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.