The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 7 - Tim Harford: The Past Times

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Since the first American newspaper was published in 1690, millions more have been printed.  Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and the host of the podcast Cautionary Tales, Tim Hartford. New episodes of The Past Times will be right here every Thursday.

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newspaper from a random date in history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Tim Harvard. Hello Tim. Hello. Hello from England. Yeah Oxford England. And Tim Oxford. So you you think you're better than us. I mean let's be honest. Yeah cuz you're yeah. I know it. You know you're better than us. It's just interesting to be so upfront about it. Tim you have a great podcast called cautionary tales which is basically about highlighting the mistakes of our past which in many ways is what our shows are about as well. Yeah I mean there's

loads of mistakes to go about. It's it's all fun we can share. So yeah cautionary tales is is all about things going wrong and what lessons can we learn from them. So sometimes they're pretty funny and sometimes they're really not funny at all. They're completely horrific. But yeah I'm basically a professional nerd so I tell the story and then I try and try and draw out the the lesson from psychology or social science or whatever. Or sometimes it's just you put your head in your hands and you you go I can't believe they did that. Well I'm probably like our show as we'll learn today. We don't really learn much so it's

sort of a futile mission you're on but we're on the same one so we are a brethren. And then we like to have a go ahead. I always start things out awkward so I have a theory that all economists are bad people. Can you respond to that? You should feel attacked because he is. Yeah no no he's certainly trying to try and attack me. Yeah no that's that's fine. I mean my first book was called The Undercover Economist. Why do you think I was undercover? You know I don't want people to figure out I'm an economist and when when people ask me at parties I mean who am I kidding I don't go to parties I'm an economist but

if people ask me what I do I tell them oh I'm a writer or you know I'm a radio host or whatever I don't say I'm an economist why would you say that? Yeah I'm gonna start saying I'm an economist and then I'm gonna fight Dave. So I'll have a guess. I'll guess that the paper is from the year 1690 and Tim you're more than welcome to take a poke. Wow I mean that would that would be really old for because I mean paper the printing press is only what I don't know the 1400s and they put it on cloth. I'm gonna guess 1800. 1739. Oh that is old. Yeah you did. I think this is our oldest one. It's the Virginia Gazette from Williamsburg,

Virginia. Okay so one of our classic little colonists cities. Yeah. Colonies we don't want to call it at that point. A great place to visit if you ever want to be bored. Still. Yes absolutely. And still British right at that time. Yeah yeah still British was before we had a kick you guys out. So whatever we hear is all your fault. Yeah this is all on you. I should point out I'm a dual citizen I just like scapegoats. Um so and and I want to apologize if my daughter's an American so we know we also have split loyalty. Is that is that true? Yeah. So sorry. Well well yeah. What a tragedy. What a tragedy. Yes. Well hopefully she comes

around at some point. Um so uh page one may I did I say May 4th? May 4th. No. 1739. Like it matters. Oh oh May. May the 4th. That was a wild month. That was a wild month they had. Were they doing Star Wars day back then? Seasonally it might matter. We might get into the seasons. There's a lot of season stuff that happens back then. George Lucas was making prequels back then I'm sure. Yeah yeah. He absolutely was. Jar Jar Binks era. And it wasn't a long long time ago and all of that yeah. Yeah exactly that's how the paper started. The paper scrolled just yellow font scrolling. So I would say the biggest problem with this

paper for me which I should have probably realized before I picked it was that they the S's are F's. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. I don't know why. I don't know when that switched but it's a really terrible thing to experience but I'll try to do my best. What a bunch of afholes. Like I would himfelf is probably himself. So there's certain things. It's like a three-year-old telling you what happened in the news. So the S's are F's. What are the F's? The S is unless the S it seems like unless the S is a capital letter it's it's like a small F, a lowercase F. And then the F's are F's but they're a

little bit of a different F. So the S is like a like a leaned over a little bit leaned over. Like a drunk F. Yeah like a drunk so the S is like a drunk F and then the F looks like we would think of an F now. And then at some point someone was like you guys this is not working. Our letters. Did you get used to it after a while? Yeah I mean a little bit like as I read through it I was like okay I can kind of but then I think speaking it out loud like I wasn't speak I wasn't reading it out loud so we'll see how it goes. Are you just walking around the house to your wife just being like what are we having for breakfast? I mean

anybody who listens to our podcast knows that I can completely obliterate just the king of pronunciation. So this first story from Feversham. Oh on Christmas this came from this is a Christmas story. A May 4th Christmas story. Yeah I got a little late I think I think Feversham is in I would I would think England but so a barbarous murder was lately committed by Jane Plain by Stephen Diper a barbarous murder. Okay so Jane was killed. Jane was killed by Stephen. Jane Plain. Jane Plain was killed by Stephen Diper. His name is Diper. Steve Dipes. Steve Dipe. Dipe. One of the. We know it's him because there was a shit-full

nappy. He left. At the crime scene. He left. I mean at the crime. At the crime fiend. Stephen Diper one of them. Why is Jane Plain? P-L-A-N-E. She's passed. Yeah she's gone we lost her. That's a joke game sure. Stephen Diper you would think so no but I think back then they didn't do joke names but we'll see. Stephen Diper one of the most stupid villains that was ever formed with human shape. Sorry that's what they say. They're coming in hot yeah. Yeah there's bias in this one. No wonder it took so long to break the story they were like the man can't be this dumb. So Mr. James Bunce who is from near fever sham gives every St. Thomas day

a certain measure of wheat to every poor woman that comes and asks for the same. Okay this guy's making wheat rain. Yeah so amongst the number was Jane Plain a poor widow woman of unblemished character aged between 60 and 70 years who was ordered by Mr. Bunce to have the measure so he says this woman this woman can have wheat. I also like you would you like ages were like when you go to like see a new doctor and it's like what are you like 34 to 44 what it's like she's like 60 to 70 you know what I mean. She's an old widow. You got a 10 year window. Yeah guys between 30 40 you know. He's one of those. He's like 10

to 20. You're not going to be able to say is she because she's been brutally murdered. But if she's dead couldn't you be like hey I'm doing a reporter I'm doing a little story on her. Do you have her age to somebody who knows. I'm trying to get this by December 25th. They're like it's gonna take a lot longer to figure that out. I need weeks to get the actual. Okay but I like the unblemished character who was she's got unblemished character and he is yes she's great. He is the stupidest man ever formed. Yeah right and we know and we know he's the bad guy because he is now referred to as the villain. Right. The villain who was

ordered to measure the corn took it into his head that this poor creature was a witch. Oh wow. So that's not. I mean by the way like I like I mean I get why they're like this guy's a fucking idiot. He thought she was a witch but this is also like this is what we're dealing with in this country with the lunatics who like believe in Q. It's just basically yeah it's just basically like everyone was like there's witches for a long time and then this guy's like I think this one's a witch and everyone's like what a crazy man it's like you were throwing them in rivers being like how they floating they bobbing. They did bob if

they bob you gotta take them out. So do we know I don't want to jump ahead here so yeah is this his excuse like I thought she was a witch. Yeah is this hit you know his yeah in my defense so she had a pointy hat or what. Yeah I don't I don't think we're ever gonna get I think we're just gonna get he did it he's bad and he's not and we're not gonna get his side. Well they know back then they're like look we all know the telltale signs of a witch. Right she wants corn. She's after corn. She can't be a witch she has unblemished character. That's right. That's right. I mean there's a lot going on here so he

thought himself of a stratagem which he had heard to know by them this was okay that's that sometimes you just don't have to use all your words sometimes you just don't have to use words if they're just gonna not have any meaning in the sense sure so this is he figures out a way to that she's a witch so he's come up with an idea yeah he's come up with an idea I think to get rid of that he thought himself of a stratagem so I think he thinks he's strategizing maybe I'm wrong we'll see I mean I like the idea these are I've got a strategy oh here we go it's a two-part plan okay so okay so he this was that no witch had power

to receive more than measure so so he's saying that a witch can't get more than the amount I mean if they're in the 1730s if they're like you're crazy I mean good god so this dude is going like this dude's like well you know the deal if the witches can't take too much corn so this proved to be the death of the innocent creature for her modesty was so great that she told him his his master did not allow it she so okay so she said your your your head guide doesn't allow it and I think that then he thought she was a witch so he so she was like I'd rather follow the rules he's like classic witch neither did neither did she

desire anymore than he was willing to give this and this only urged on her fate so she so I think he offered more and she was like no I I don't want that and also your boss doesn't allow it he's like well now I got to kill you because you're a witch because anybody who's not a witch takes the corn it's like yeah I mean like a polite old woman who doesn't take the corn I mean I would honestly I'd be like all right let's do this for she no sooner refused and he drew his knife and stabbed her in above stabbed her right there well that really escalated very fast yeah very very quickly it escalated he stabbed her

in 40 places I'm assuming it was like he stabbed her in the driveway and then he stabbed her like stop he's like please go to the gymnasium come on that's a lot I'm trying to set a record I guess can't believe anybody nobody else helped that's a while people like she did see she did refuse extra corn so I kind of want to see where this goes yeah I saw her say no more corn and I that's what I thought you guys saw me back off I was like this is gonna get weird she refused extra corn so oh wait mr. Bunce was in the room at the same time with a child in his arms and two others by his side so he's got the kids he's like oh

god not knowing where the villain would stop his first care was to secure the children then calling in three other of his servants when and sees the ruffian who gloried in his action wow that's the whole story wow that is dark yeah is that is there any sense that this kind of thing happened a lot is they oh yeah it's like I don't think so which tabbing it happens you know I mean look well there was a lot more witch crime back then for sure but yeah I don't know I don't know if I don't know how common it was there's definitely a lot of stabbing going on it would just be great for the police to just be like hey

yes Steve we we went through it and it turns out she was just old yeah she was just really old for 1730 which is they all kind of get a bit witchy looking they do get witchy looking and also they don't eat that much they they stop eating a lot they're like I don't have a family anymore I want to carry that she's 70 years old maybe she didn't want it 1730 70s 90s she didn't want to carry a bunch of corn yeah he made it he was gonna have her pack her on corn like a corn mule yeah I've got a bad back he was like oh yeah nice try I love the sort of the self-fulfilling nature of this this reasoning as well like this guy's like

well I'm gonna give her the corn and either she's a widow of unblemished character or or she's a witch and yep there's a yeah I mean yeah it's crazy a lot of a lot of dumb wheels turning in his head as he's a lot of dumb wheels you want a little more corn maybe he was just so tired of the job he just didn't want to hand out corn to old ladies anymore and he just came up with a way it was his way to do it I thought she was a witch this next one is from Gloucester sure oh no Gloucester sure yeah I would say Gloucester that's probably there's probably there's probably only one in

England right we don't have one in America I was gonna say like Gloucester Virginia I don't think so if it if it's if it's spelled Gloucester then it yeah it's Gloucester if that's where it throws me off because it's not it's G G L G E S T yeah the UK loves just tossing in those like CE combinations and like why are you pronouncing those it's so we can identify German spies which is witches so this is one Edward Meredith commonly called Ned of the Todd in so Edward Meredith commonly called Ned of the Todd in an idiot having been this guy this guy lets you know right away in the story who's the

villain who's the good guy who's got each yeah yeah it's pretty good by the way as long as you trust the source you're like all right I know it's going up we got another dumbass another dumb F having been about the country for some time on his return home missed his mother okay that's nice relatable and inquiring for her the neighbors told him she was dead I miss my mother have you seen her she's dead how have you been stupid idiot now you've been dummy I forgot why don't come back here yeah she actually we knew she was a witch when she died did you know here why she was stabbed she refused to believe I'm of a

witch she came about asking for lots of corn oh no not yeah remember it but I was forget and by the way not exactly exactly I would do it who wanted the one who wanted more corners the witch I totally agree there's a more than a family guy yeah you're like she's gonna put it in that cauldron and you know bubble bubble toil and trouble that shit and then so why do you need all that corn yeah yeah to lure the children to the oven oh so she's dead and being informed of the place where she was buried he went on Thursday night to the churchyard the 25th sure about a mile from here where he lived okay and he

opened the grave oh well come on I mean we all we come on let it go here's an idiot by the way it's very now that that just means she's is is she under soil mm-hmm so he goes on a little digging spree and then Bram Stoker's her out yeah he takes I'm thinking I mean if it's one of those Italian style cemeteries that are above the ground and then you could just you could just unlock it with a pant but I'm not getting that vibe from this idiot in Gloucester no I don't think that's the Gloucester vibe I'm not even thinking shovels I'm thinking child at the beach hands I'm thinking like like cat litter hit like just like

you know they're like Jesus Christ look at this he could he's dumb as shit but look at him dig took out her corpse which had been interred a fortnight so it's right damn it's ripe oh god is this a pretty common English thing or no I'm not sure what you guys like and and fill the grave again so he took her out he put the dirt back which is that's nice she's still out though he took her out she's out dear I the fact that you know that is a bit troubling but his I saw the next impeccable well that seems that what there seems there's definitely a part of the story where he's being he is being somewhat respectful

to the land sure so we'll give him well I don't think that's true I think he's like I don't want them to know that I've taken my mother okay that's yeah so they're just like I have nothing to see here but it looks like a bit clawed out but it's fine after this he brought the corpse home on his back oh good lord okay so how else are you gonna move it around well I mean yeah sure when you find yourself in this position I guess there's few right right choices to make you know I mean you don't want to be orner you know you don't know like you don't want to keep her on the chest area and be like come on like we're skydiving

I guess they had their shopping trolleys in 1730 so yeah I guess or just like a old wooden cart there is something that you know like even if you're gonna like you know you're gonna do this so you should at least like be like hey can I borrow a cart what for uh vegetables like you just make it up corn is it no it's not corn no it is corn it is corn but only if they know more than the appropriate amount of corn too much corn a little bit more than the appropriate amount yeah which like not which not not witchy a witchy amount of corn that can right but there's also a probably an area between like where you

entered amount of corn and oh so he oh okay this is a twist after this he brought look home the corpse on his back and forced open the lid of the coffin so he he carried the whole coffin home much crazier is it much crazier I would think just throw her on the back and just be like she just drank too much and then yeah like a coffin drag people like what you doing yeah worry about it's a box it's not what you think mom's passed away I thought she did a fortnight ago he so he forced open the lid of the coffin rent the shroud but I don't know what that means rent the shroud it means he tore the blanket that she was

covered in oh okay does not help find that worrying I mean in a way it helps and then it also hurts I yeah I mean I know now I know what it means a little more upset you answer the question and I wish you hadn't I can only apologize and took out her naked body why naked I guess come on what the fuck gotta be a little titillation in the story no shut your mouth there is no part like at no point is this get this is getting worse and worse I mean I hate to say that we're digging a hole but for the love of God all right what did you do well I went took my mom out oh you took her out of the coffin no brought the coffin home oh

then what yanked her out of there oh okay what'd you do I ripped the blanket she was it what was she wearing nothing so what's your plan I've got my naked mother in my house dead naked mom yeah which is the show I'm pitching God I mean just like imagine if you just saw your mom naked now you'd be like that's a sort of awkward now she's fucking dead and you're like hello my mate hello the neighbors are probably like I don't think he's taking that news too great wakes up in the morning I forgot you were here mom oh shit face that it's just like the hangover is what it's I do lost oh no well I had a bender boy this

is another fun pickle I've gotten myself into I would like to back up and say I 100% get why the writer put idiot in the right the writers like look look I must save you a little time I don't need you don't need to take the journey I did this man is dumb as shit oh boy so he took out her naked body which he placed in a sitting posture by the fireside I mean to be fair there's no right thing to do right now but that's also crazy well I don't think you took I don't think so what's a body you know probably don't want to near heat I'm thinking of cooking and things like that and just spoiling I don't know I don't know what

you want at this point I put her in a headstand I'm just thinking that's the first step in this story that is not an immediate and dramatic turn for the worse I mean it's but it's almost like we're like in a cul-de-sac like there's no more turns to make really yeah we're pretty bad I mean that's that's bold I mean who knows I think this guy may have a few turns we'll see I think I think you're right I think I'm gonna eat those words and then cutting the coffin to pieces he burnt it to warm her asking her quote why she was so foolish as to die to go to such a cold hole that's a good question

oh man okay the man had the man had questions for mom what did she say well she said what was her answer in retrospect not the greatest move I mean by the way this reporter is unbelievably good all right and then what you say to your mom well as to why she went to a cold hole awesome all right I got what I need you'll be on page two sorry I read ahead while you were talking oh god and I'm not happy oh no I thought you'd read this no what is the process are you not fully reading I I read some of it and then I just clip it like I don't know so you're like there's a lot of meat on the bone here not

yeah yeah once I saw this one and I just I saw the first part I clipped it so this all body I was like I mean okay okay all right so toward the break of day he carried the corpse up a ladder and placed it upon some hemp what binding her head with part of it and then went about the country as usual no no I mean this is time for my morning walk incredibly sad well he does miss his mom that's clear that walk where he's that walk or he's just in some sort of denial or he's like that might have been a little much I might have been overboard a little bit you know I'm gonna I'm gonna go out I'm gonna take a walk I'm gonna

clear my head yeah think about what's happened here gonna clear the old dead head hey I guess hemp bigger in the attic was weird retrospect the neighbors who heard him acquainted with the parish officer wherewith who came and caused her to be buried under a pew in the church to prevent their solution was well let's put her under the church so that this whole body digging up thing can't go on so he's he's a problem yeah the neighbors go to the cops I'll go ahead Tim it's just it's very humane the guy clearly I mean the guy is clearly severely developmentally disabled and just hanging him or putting

him in prison they're like oh we'll just have to next time we'll make sure we bury his mom where he can't dig her up and then there won't be a problem I mean you probably tell me and then they have then they hanged him but no no that's that's actually end of it they don't go that's that's the whole story but you're right like it's especially for that time it's very humane where or that time or anytime in America it's very humane yeah like we would be like we should kill this guy oh my god they he'd already be shot in the back they'd be like what do you do they'd be like he had a coffin they're like there's a woman

upstairs they're like there was I mean there was yeah that's why we did it it is very like I like to what you're saying that like there's clearly like some issues going on there it is it's a guy who's like I don't want my mommy gone but it's also funny to be like we will just treat it like treasure I mean it's like if you don't want a kid playing with something and you put it on a shelf they're like that'll do it yeah and then we don't know if you that we don't know if they're you charge like charged with nothing I would think you'd want to be like look we're gonna we're not gonna throw the book at the guy but you got

to serve a little bit of time otherwise if people are gonna be like putting their families back together but you can't but you why do that to a guy who mentally doesn't comprehend what he's done like then you're just punishing because we're Americans and we don't care about that and we there's no thing as a Mentus and compass here okay well that's fair you make a really good point even in New York right now they're like we will be people who are unhoused we'll be taking care of them and you're like oh great who's in charge of that they're like the cops you're like I don't love the plan I don't love it all right

well this one another one from jolly old England dated London January 9th this is an extract from a letter from captain Jason I was gonna say how why is his name Yofan it's Jason Jason and Jaffan so the Jason Vaughn just before you before you read the story so so there's no news in Virginia right it's just here's the news from the home right now we don't have any we don't have any yeah I think nothing happens in Virginia I think we're I think we're I think we're because the first phase was all like what are the what are the kings and queens doing all that stuff and now I think we're getting like oh what are the

common people doing I you know what I think it is and I think we'll get to the Virginia stuff later I think it's that all these people in Virginia and in America are having trouble growing things having trouble surviving it was a terrible decision that they've made so they came up with a paper to validate that decision to be like England's the worst what about these guys don't use your luck you stayed here sure your babies can't survive the winter months but come on this guy dug his mom up and put her in a hemp attic Jason Vaughn of the Sarah which is a ship I sailed from Port Royal in Jamaica

on the 1st of June bound for Bristol but on the 29th of the month to being oh he gives a latitude and a lot near Cape Anthony hey I was that's your super hero I was chased by a Spanish man of war now Garrett that's a boat I know you're thinking that I choose to believe what I like to believe and we have a Spanish man of war and it is a guy and he wears the Cape Anthony thank you that's okay thank you who see it soon came up with me and having that word is not legible also fired several times I brought you and they ordered me you need to be careful yeah sired it's it's literally totally blurred out very

different fired it's definitely fired it's definitely fired and this is the Spanish superhero man who's just taken out a pistol and he's just firing across the sea sure that's who you needed to be I'm draw I'm gonna sketch it and I'll show it to you guys at the end I brought to they ordered me to send my boat aboard which I did but they detained my man and sent 18 of theirs in the boat ordered me out of the ship with all my men on board their own and carried us to the Havana where my ship came some days after I was there detained a prisoner for three months then put on board one of their ships and brought to this port and

from thence to this castle he's writing from a castle wow the console here offered to be security for my parents if I could have the liberty of walking about the city but that favor could not be obtained so I have by this post wrote to the British minister in Madrid my ship and car was worth nine nine thousand pounds first and sterling five the ladder was sold before I left for about 120 so he got he got a he was on a ship he's just writing this and the papers like yeah here's something that's like I see okay no I think he's making his case that he's owed money he's in he's in the castle and I think they're trying to

figure out what to do I can't tell right instead of freedom is like I want my money well he's not being allowed to walk around so they probably think that he's done something like they don't trust that his story with the ship is true but at the same time he's like can I get reimbursed I mean this reads like one of those emails you write when you've been screwed over by some company I had a really bad experience with British Airways a couple of months ago and they cancel the flight and like and you you write these these emails and they're really just too much detail excessive detail and it's got that kind of energy

to it yeah and then their response is just like sorry to hear that no we're not gonna give you anything so I had 9,000 please no no we're sorry that the man of war did that to you but no that's what flying is today PS I was bound for Jamaica and he are you he seriously PS it appears sometimes I'm like I can't believe the stuff I mean I guess that's an old that's post script right so I guess that is like an older tiny thing but that's on a letter of this caliber to be like PS I miss my animal you know what I mean it's like bro get it all out there just tell this we don't need your PS I was bound from Jamaica I was on my

passage home when taken and had not been in any port reader observed this ship was not taken by a guard a coughed up but by a kink ship so he's trying to clear things up so someone must have said something to him while he was writing the letter and he's like no no hold on instead of just redoing the letter that's what that's actually why PS existed because they couldn't really redo the you have to write the whole letter over again you didn't have a white out or whatever yeah but also I mean look PS shouldn't exist but it's very easy to just be like okay we got it I will just pop that into stand there like keep the

PS let him know that he's he's retorting I'm still can't get my head around like what is happening this guy so this guy is is publishing has written a come a letter of complaint and the newspapers like oh yeah we'll just print that whole thing including the PS yeah and yeah he's he's like making his case for why he should get money back from I think I think the crown right and he and he's making his case and they're like I don't know we should let you walk around because we don't believe your story so he's it's a very weird but it's definitely like you said it's definitely like writing a letter to shareways

whatever be like so here's what happened with my luggage and the papers just like here's something we don't know it's just a letter I don't know yeah that's the thing about this is this guy makes the case and then you're like man I cannot wait till September to find out what happened with us yeah that'll be great yeah mystery yeah I'm not gonna read this because there are so many crazy letters in it that it cannot be although I see ear okay that's that's a great I've just loved how you convinced I love how you convinced yourself because you saw the word ear I did see the word here don't just say what don't don't say

anything about the game oh no I just know I didn't hear you I think I did I think I did god damn it I'm sorry because it was yeah I apologize this evening was a splendid appearance at the masquerade where among many humorous and whimsical characters what seemed most to engage the attention of the company was a Spaniard very richly dressed who called himself Knight of the Ear as a badge of the order he wore on his breast the form of a star whose points seemed tinged with blood on which was painted an ear and round it written in capital letters the word Jenkins

what kind of uniformed a star ear and he's like and I'm Jenkins it's a masquerade though so this is a this is a costume party sure and people like so what are you he's like out of my tits and across his shoulders hung instead of a ribbon a large halter which he held up to several persons disguised like English sailors okay so he's now showing this to people who are dressed up like English sailors who seemed to pay great reverence and falling on the nears before him with many tokens of fear and submission suffered him getting very good at the F's by the way good suffered him very tainly to rummage their pockets mission

is good yeah which he had done very insolently dismissed them with strokes of his halter several of the sailors had a bloody ear hanging down from their heads and on their hats the words ear for ear while on hats of others was no search or trade so this is the so what's happened here is that it seems like in England there was a party an ear part like a new ears Eve party of a costume party and they've written it up in a paper in Williamsburg, Virginia but the ear thing the sailors are also doing the ear stuff so everyone there is the sailors theme the sailors had their ears dangling because I think that was a

punishment they would cut your ear pretty calm yeah so they had they had all the way off like fancy dress dangling ears rather than actually their ears were dangling instead of earrings you know you do I don't think you get hello who made those so this doesn't make any sense to me or what I'd like to know is did it first did it make any sense to anybody at the party did everyone at the party go oh yeah like the ear gag we all get the reference and hello Jenkins make it make any sense to anyone in Virginia because there doesn't seem to be any explanation of oh by the way this is what the British do it's the

ear thing and you know there's no it's not like I feel the New York Times do those do those reports about a subculture it's like hey there are skateboarders and they do this thing and we're gonna explain the thing that skateboarders do or the thing that tick tock right or whatever there's no explanation like oh you know this is why the guy has the ear and there's no contact yeah because I think everybody knows it everybody's like right it's the ear thing sure if they explain it so it's it's the first time someone had a star on a shirt ran away oh we're now from a quarter in Essex County on the

17th of March a servant man named John Cardi he is a broad-backed well-made Irishman nice he had on when he went away a very good dark colored freeze coat and a black wig when I bought him I was told by the captain I had him that he was reputed to be a blacksmith and I am persuaded he is one but he is always denied it what okay I mean this guy has this guy so we got a runaway Irishman in a black wig who was sold as a blacksmith and then this guy's like get to blacksmith and he's like I don't know how to do that we've never been in my life and then the Irishman runs away and he's like well people that people got

another backstory this guy I can't just give the description and I'm not just talking about his shoulders I am persuaded he is one but he is always denied it if any person that will take him up and put me a knife I swear to God I don't know how to do that do it I'm not a blacksmith you are I'm a hundred percent make me a knife I promise I wouldn't even know where to start doing something like that you do know how I don't I promise you I have no concept of where to even start with you are clearly pretending you're not even trying because I'm not a blacksmith sticking to that foolish lie you just basically

summed up the entire English-Irish relationship of the past 2,000 years pressing him just like if I kidnap someone and I'm like you know how to fix air conditioners no I don't fix it no it's not what I do you are an air conditioner repairman you are an AC repairman just the guy chained in your in your attic you know how to fix it have you decided to make me a knife yet I don't know how there be no porridge for you today then Fibba if any person will take him up and put him into the constables hands as the law directs so that he be brought to me in Westmoreland County shall have a reward

besides what the law allows paid by oh and the what is MB and B is opposed to PS and B is a no tabene no tabene note well I guess you are better than us you finally proven it he is a great rogue so that if he has what the law directs as to whipping shall be of great service to him so this guy is furious yeah and by the way you can't miss him big broad-shouldered Irishman black wig is a blacksmith swears he's not but what so what is this guy's crime supposed to be like he's gonna be arrested and we he's a he's a slave right he didn't want to be owned so we enslave Irish people we still do it here yeah this is this is

the the the Brit in denial about the British Empire I didn't mean Irish oh yeah there was a there was a real big market for indentured servants often you would to get to America you would like give up seven years or whatever but sometimes you were just straight up sold you call this a knife this is not a I don't know how you've not called it properly it's not sharp it's better got a point to it so this this may explain I lived in Ireland for for a year worked in Ireland for a year this may explain the certain awkward conversations that happened that yeah well there's tension got it there's

tension there's definitely some tension yeah yeah I don't know if you know this has been great treatment of the Irish by the English it's it is just fantastic the English POV is fantastic to just be like well I've got a new story for you my slave ran away what a prick asshole I mean asshole we went to Ireland with another family that were friends with them the wife was English and the way you were treated and the conversations that were had when she wasn't there as compared to when she was there was and that's just among your group that's not even the Irish I mean there has been this quite beautiful reversal recently

beautiful for those who have a sense cosmic sense of justice because as you may be aware the British voted to leave the European Union which why is there were certain problems if you want to I don't know buy stuff sell stuff cross borders it causes problems yeah you got a blue passport finally yeah that so we went to Germany this on vacation this summer and my wife is Irish or at least her father's Irish so she's got an Irish passport all my kids have got Irish passports because their grandfather's Irish I'm the one who lived and worked and paid taxes in Ireland none of them anyway and we so they've got all got

these EU passports who went to Germany and and my wife's like oh shall I give them the British passport or shall I give them the Irish passport I guess it doesn't really matter I'm like no no no no no give me give them the give them the Irish passport and they my wife handed over the Irish passports and it's all fine and then they got to me and I I've just got my royal blue passport and suddenly it's like oh what are you doing in Germany where are you from how how long you there is they're just way to you so suddenly being Irish and having these Irish passports is is just is a vastly more privileged position than

being British yes and we did it to ourselves you're getting the international American experience where we're like they're thankful to have us and then we go play some more like why is the line so long this is a very small item they write from the Havde Grace that 12 or 1300 dead bodies have been found floating upon that coast supposed to have been cast away by the late storms that's the whole story what's by the late what storms storms so there's just inside as soon as his friends have read the grace I assume it's just a there's just 1300 that's a lot of bodies that's more than a titan how many

died in the Titanic it wasn't even that many was it I'm Matt no it wasn't I imagine how much that would ruin your vacation to the good lord just paddle boarding what is this I thought these were jellyfish as we were getting these are people these are a lot of oh my god honey don't get the kids to go back it's like a thousand dead people oh my god Williamsburg May 4th this day two men in one woman who were tried this general court received a sentence of death James Lee from Norfolk for several robberies is the first local story I think so yeah I think they're finally like by the way two people died in Virginia particularly

one on the highway Thomas Goodbury from Middlesex for housebreaking and robbery and Elizabeth two pence from Essex for murdering her bastard child wow so the one guy is a thief and the two pence is a murderer it's a bit bizarre yeah okay yeah that I didn't put that together but yeah that is absolutely correct William Jackson from spots spotsvania that's interesting convicted of stealing a silver spoon and was sentenced to be burnt on the hand oh I like with a whole spoon yeah I yeah maybe I bet it was I bet it was I like I now see there I'm liking that a little bit more than what we like our prison industrial complex I

like that it's like what you steal hi we're gonna burn you with it damn it you took a car huh yeah we're gonna hit you with a car at 35 whatever I'm gonna try to get in my core this is to give notice that on the first of this I can't read that month I assume the house of Everard West living in the Isle of Wright County was robbed of several things by one George Jones a Welshman I don't look at me I'm not even Welsh my name's Welsh I am looking at you there's no need to be looking at me he is a well set fellow has a great head he won best head this guy you can't miss him fantastic dome hey what the suspect

look like he's got this remarkable head I don't know what anything else you don't see just trust me when you see it he's got a great heads around so we'll find guys got a great head he's got a great head excuse me fellas can I get your attention please have any you see the guy with a really great head I'm just looking for a woman who is got her own stuff going on a good sense of humor likes to travel and has a really good head you know what I mean a perfect head I don't like these small craniums I want a nice meaty head this description is amazing has a great head broad face thick neck short hair and a dimple on his

chin oh my god wait did you did the did the guy who is he a cartoon the guy who did yeah he's animated a hundred percent yep he's got a really good head and then this big meaty horse neck he's got a he's got a neck like a cow but what a head is his neck almost looks like a second head with no hair features it looks like he's got two heads but the one heads and just a hairless featureless neck oh shit you're talking about Jimmy yeah that's the way he says name was he had on a bright colored coat with metal buttons whoever will secure the said George Jones so that he be brought to justice shall be handsomely rewarded for

their trouble hmm how well but how do they know that George Jones grew up the house that's a really good question it's got the head I just saw his head from a distance yeah yeah just like once you see the it wants to see the head and the neck together that's like a license plate back then get what you what you see really good head oh we'll get him we'll get him within 24 hours we'll get him we'll get him Williamsburg yesterday a young man named John Franks one of the it says it says a muhfuck but that can't be what it's got me muhsuck muhsuck what one of the muhsuck belonging to his majesty ship a flambor was as he was

standing upon the accommodation ladder oh boy this these are really hard to read wash a washing some fish okay okay just so a guy a guy on a ladder washed the fish so as he was standing upon the accommodation ladder washing some fish unhappily slipped his hold and was drowned Jesus Christ such as well this is that's a punchy one you know it was great the fish are like we're back in the water this is really a story about fresh fish freedom or first um it's instant karma it really is trying to take immediate and yeah then suddenly positions they probably drowned him they were like yes that's you it's not great

is it yeah how do you like it now yeah on Saturday the second was committed to the public prison in Williamsburg a man about 27 years of age of a fair complexion about five feet three inches high his left real shitty head right real bad head not a great not a great head not a great head usual neck not a great head again and guess what another guy claiming to not be a blacksmith you're not gonna believe this blacksmiths we know your blacksmiths assholes fess up he he says five three his left leg shorter than his right you can tell that's he can like I to get that description it it should be like several inches or

else you're not gonna know that where it's like a tracker he's like look he's got a bit of a hobble occasioned by a strain has cut his forehead and says he is a shoemaker wigg maker and glacier and has a complete set of no makers and wigg knickers tools so he's been put in prison what's happening okay so he's been put in prison he's got a short leg he's five foot three his forehead he he cut his head the one thing I don't think we know has it says occasioned by a strain I don't know if we know what that means occasioned by a strain sure I think we do have a cut do not know what that means absolutely right we absolutely no

idea right has it has a cut on his forehead so he's he's wounded claims he's a wigg maker and says he's a shoemaker wigg maker and glacier glacier and he has a glacier wigg maker and a glacier glacier is someone who makes glass and puts windows glass yeah okay well those things all go together what do you need a wig or you know window blow some glass give you hair what are you after what do you need he so he has shoemaker and wigg makers tools he wears a fair wig a whitish coat two shirts and a felt hat he calls himself Thomas Perry and his a Welshman again your people what the fuck I love how that's like fairly

normal it's just like and you know obviously who's wearing a wig two shirts usual stuff two shirts but like why are they giving a description of this guy when he's in oh okay here we got it I finally got why so I can they get to it he has no pass nor certificate of his freedom okay by the way I mean he's got no papers what a night hey have you guys see my freedom pass oh my god I lost my holy shit I think I left it back at the bar it's like you think losing your phone is traumatic wait if you guys see my freedom you guys I'm a legal slave now oh fuck my life hey no shit I'm sorry about that Timmy could you

uh could you do the back room first I have no choice and then hit the bathroom if you don't clean the bathroom then I'm gonna have to call the authorities on you because you lost your freedom pass I dropped my freedom pass of water well it's time in life of servitude for you should have held on to your freedom pass I guess you're gonna make me a wagon yeah he gives but a slender account of himself and is therefore committed to said prison as a runaway of which this public notice is given that he if he is a servant his master may know where to find him or if otherwise that he may be discharged according to law so there so

they literally found a guy without papers who's not saying much and they're like all right we gotta figure out what he is they printed it in the paper like unless someone claims to be his master he might go free I mean how fast you be like yeah that guy's mine he makes windows and shoes and we yeah that yeah that's it yeah that's mine get over here you little stinker all right should we do one more David yeah okay okay London March 8th with a short within a short time miss Pemberton a widow gentlewoman in Hoxton Square has had nine incendiary letters thrown into her house airmail not good like that wow

tried to throw a letter what I want to understand is is this literally incendiary like you know they're petrol bombs or no is it is it like oh we there they're kind of you know rude letters or kind of angry it's yeah no it's an ugly witch oh god another one of these has had nine incendiary letters thrown into her house threatening destruction to her if she did not leave a sum of money in a certain place mentioned but she has not thought fit to comply though she has provided against them in a proper manner and it is hoped will catch them so some guy is just letter literally just saying I'm gonna burn down your house unless you

put money here yeah put money under that tree or I'm gonna burn down your house and he's threatened there nine times with nine letters he's thrown into her house he key he's clearly not getting that she's not at some point she's like well this isn't happening also I feel like neighbors could be super helpful be like if you see a guy throwing let yeah there is it because it takes like six tries to get that letter into the house paper is like a fool's errand yeah all right I mean you got to be close it's not like you can be like you know like from a hilltop be like you think I can get that letter through that window you've

got to be like in that you got to basically like rat on the window and be like hello yeah yeah yeah so so just classic extortion and she's like yeah yeah yeah she's like I'm not doing it and he but the clan the hilarious thing is that you how many times can you threaten to burn down someone's house yeah before the person's like yeah that's clearly gonna do it my house nine times well that's what he's doing with the letters tinder he's me he's making the pile it's the long it's the long game he's gonna wait until the whole house is the whole bottom floor is just filled up with paper yeah and then I'm gonna go to the post

office and be like I can't do you guys do throw mail throw you do that where the postman will throw it is that possible man that's it but this is so this is before the postage stamp so so yeah you so she would have had to have paid if it was delivered by the Royal Mail she would have had to have paid to receive it so I guess that's why he had to throw them yeah I couldn't just yeah he's from the throw she'd be like no I'm not I'm not paying to receive another death threat no yeah if you ordered to throw mail no oh sorry so I tried damn it damn it

well that was bonkers as usual yeah good lord it's still writes for a newspaper the financial Times the pink one I I feel like we're missing a trick that should just should have a lot more weird stories about exhuming your naked mothers corpse that's right well the thing is it's like that's right you know it's like what what was considered strange and what was not considered it's just always so interesting to be like is guys crazy and you're like no your world is like why are you not taught like they bury the lead all the time and then some people exhumed the lead and put it in the attic with weed yeah well Tim

thank you so much for joining us thank you the podcast is cautionary tales go ahead sorry it's been fantastic thank you so much thank you so much you told me and see what I never wanted to know about history what's great is that it's like 10 a.m. for us and now you've got to like go to bed and be like why did he do that your wife's gonna be like honey why are you still up it'd be like I'm just why did he do he wasn't a blacksmith you are a blacksmith crazy well thanks again Tim really appreciate it thanks for having me you'll miss me honey