The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 72 - The Past Times with Skyler Higley

Episode Date: April 26, 2024

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined by comedian and writer Skyler Higley Redbubble Merch   Aura Frames - Code TPT Hydrow - Code TPT

And we are also brought to you by Airbnb. Now look, there's actually a couple times a year when a big group of my oldest friends and I, and they are old, get together and we will rent an Airbnb and stay in it for a few days over like a holiday weekend or something like that. It just always makes the experience a lot better because, you know, we're in a home. But on the road, if I ever have the choice between a hotel or an Airbnb I always go Airbnb just because it's better. I like a home over a hotel.

But recently I did start thinking well while I'm gone can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a little more scratch generated from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how and how much at airbnb.ca. I have dollop tour dates to announce for the year 2024 of our Lord J town. We have our 10th anniversary show coming up

in Los Angeles on April 27th. Guests are Karen Kilgareff and James Adomian. And then we are going to Australia starting on May 13th in Perth, May 16th in Sydney, May 18th in Brisbane, May 20th in Canberra, May 22nd in Melbourne, and May 24th in Adelaide. You can get your tickets at dolloppodcast.com Are you looking for the perfect gift to celebrate the moms in your life? Aura Frames are a beautiful Wi-Fi connected digital picture frame Right now Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com slash TPT to get $30 off plus free shipping

on their best selling frame. That's A-U-R-A, frames.com slash TPT. Use code TPT at checkout to save, terms and conditions apply. And Hydro is the go-to for an ultimate body workout. Be your best by joining the growing rowing community at Hydro. Head over to Hydro.com and use code TPT to save up to $400 off your Hydro. That's H-Y-D-R-O-W dot com. Code TPT to save $400. Hydro.com code TPT. All right, everybody.

Welcome to the Past Times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Skylar Higley. Hi, Skylar. thanks for joining us. Hi, thanks for having me. Well, thank you for joining us, Skyler.

You're a comedian, you're a writer, you're a newbie to Los Angeles. New to Los Angeles. You must just be loving the city. How great is it? Isn't it just the greatest? What a dream. You know, it's, it's,

it's bad. Let's start. I want to start with that. But I feel like I've been complaining about it too much because I had a show last night where I just started off like just kind of shitting on Los Angeles. And people really don't like it. Like the people who are here, I feel like it goes one or two ways. Either they're a crowd that I like and they go, oh yeah, this place is not the best,

or they really pull back. And I'm like, I don't know why, I don't know what the, there's not like as much of a cultural, I just lived in Chicago for like eight years. Better say. And that's, yes. And that city loves itself so much to a fault.

And I accept it because it's like so, it has so much like specific culture and it's like so much doing its own thing as its own city where it's here. It's just about like, you could only have a good time if you're wealthy. That's right. That's why we call called the West Coast Brazil. Yes. It really is weird. And I've done that too.

I've gone to other cities and like opened by shitting on them and then they're like sitting there offended. I'm like, you guys know Springfield, Missouri sucks, right? You guys think it's good? Like you're just like puzzled. You're like, I thought it was blatantly obvious. It's garbage here. Yeah. you're just like puzzled. You're like, I thought it was blatantly obvious. It's garbage here. Yeah, I feel like most other cities I wouldn't shit on like this,

but like it is like the number one evil of the city. So like where all the every the industry sort of coalesces in like the more evil you are, the better. And it's like D.C. I was just going to say, yeah. But like even then, I feel like Los Angeles has it beat And it's like DC. I was just gonna say, yeah. But like, even then, I feel like Los Angeles has it beat because it's like, at least DC, you're allowed to be ugly, you know. It's like old LA. You're supposed to be old. Yeah. But you moved to LA with some work because you are a writer on After Midnight, the hit show on

CBS and you're also a comedian as you were sort of referring to. And people can find out where you're going to be or watch your clips at your Instagram, SkylerHigley. There's a sneaky E before the Y at the end of your name. So people should go there to support you, right? That's the best thing to do. Yeah, that's the best way to go. You can see where I'm at. Guess what? I'm in a new city support you, right? We're going to go through a weird newspaper. You heard the intro. I always like to guess what year Dave is going to pick it from. So do the fans. The fans love this part.

It's Price is Right. 1907 and Skyler you're more than welcome to take oh I can guess yeah take a stab Well, it's got to be At least I'm like actually trying to guess it's it's got to be like I'm gonna guess 1924 Really close 1928 Give me my money, please. Money. Yeah. No, get Gareth. Oh, what do I mean? Look, we'll talk email after it's a whole okay. There's a legal round. We're gonna get

there's a there's a whole loadout. So you haven't Yeah, and you haven't been in LA for a while. So it might be a little precarious, but we'll figure we will cross those eyes and it'll be fine. Go ahead, Dave. We will cross those eyes and it'll be fine. Go ahead, Dave. So this is the Seattle Union record, Seattle, Washington, February 11th, 1928. Okay, things are good.

Let's see, right here on the front page. Mother collapses when informed her daughter must hang. Oh, fuck. What? Whoa. Whoa. One rope, two women. You know, that- Oh boy.

Sorry, it's a hot start. No, no, no, no, it's okay. It's a good start. Okay. I really was like, I was about to go on a tangent where I was like, oh wow, the past isn't so different from right now. I thought until daughter must, that could have been a New York Post headline from this

year. It was going to be something about that is transitioning or something like that. Right up until that last word, I was like, was that 2024? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Daughter must hey. until that last word, I was like, was that 2024? Yeah. Yeah, that. Wow. Dottie must hang. Also, it's like she's.

What did she I do want to know what did she hang? Oh, yeah, we'll find. She's just hanging out. She's got a nose. I just can't handle that. She's having a party. Ah! I can't hang, and so she must, and I have to collapse. A foster mother collapsed here today

when she learned that her adopted daughter had been sentenced to death in Quebec on a murder charge. I was gonna say, I mean, that's, come on. I can say that about the opposite. Go grab another, right? Isn't that the move? Easy I go grab another. Go grab another. Right. Isn't that the move? Easy come, easy go is what I say. No.

Dr. Francis Palmer, the mother, a practicing physician in electro therapy here. Yeah, that's me. Well, that's not great either. You're not a doctor. Oh, she's like, yeah, I shock a bunch of people. But my daughter can't pay. I can't be shocked, but I shock others. Also, whatever happened to women collapsing? I was like, they used to do that all the time, you know?

Well, I wouldn't be fainting like that anymore. I don't want that. No, we're not pushing for it. No, but I would say the last famous one was when Trump got elected, the woman who hit the ground screaming in her two-cat-and-glass. She was a very... That was a collapse. That was a good collapse. Oh, I'd never heard of that. She's a meme.

Oh, so she just like totally fell out in hysterics? I think it was when at the inauguration, she was... Like a lot of us, yeah, she was not into it. Oh, okay. I was going to say, was she so excited or was she was just so... There were those two. There were those two. Because I feel like it could have gone either way. People were very, let's pass out.

Let's be honest, it was an emotional day for a lot of us. In one way or another. Yeah, I was jerking off that whole day. It was a great day to chat. But I will say, if he gets back in, I think we will find a lot more collapsing. There will... Oh yeah. Yeah. I feel like people, I understand that.

I feel like if he gets back in, the lady who collapsed, like she's gonna be, when, thank you. I feel like her heart's not gonna be in it. I feel like the reason, the same reason why he's gonna get back in is gonna be this, like I can't care anymore, it's not gonna be, oh no, it's like, yeah, well this might as well happen because.

Yeah, the initial shock is awful. It'll still be crazy to see because it will be like a sequel. It'll be like, it'll be like T2. You'll be like, well, fuck, this is crazy. Yeah, he's got metal liquid bones now. Yeah, no, but yeah, exactly. Now we can like go through doors.

You're like, oh, fuck. Oh shit. Oh no. That's gonna be how he gets out of jail. Yeah. The Trumpinator is just going to be like, zoom. It's just leave like Orin Cheeto marks on everything he slinks through. Nice. Good Gio reference. Way to get it. Thank you.

Sponsor. She had not heard from her daughter, Doris Palmer, for some time and had believed she was somewhere in New York. All right. So they're not. Okay. So she's so she collapsed and she doesn't even check in. Oh, no.

It's like you don't even you were you were busy shocking people and animals. Don't act like I feel like I'm not gonna not to be you know misogynist but this lady over dramatic I mean the not the estranged part is it I mean it's tough it makes the collapse a little more I agree I will flag it a little bit still it is awful to be I've got an update on your daughter. Yeah, it's a little shocking, I guess. I've got an update. The daughter with her second husband was sentenced to die in Montreal for murder. Montreal?

Yeah, that's where they used to do it, I guess. An international news service reporter called at Miss Palmer's home and told of the girl's plight. The shock was more than the mother could bear. They really shouldn't have used shock. Go ahead. Yeah. I mean, that's funny. But also, how did they know that?

They call she collapses. Yeah, right. They do in person. And then does she call the news again? You do it Publishers Clearinghouse style. You show up to the door with balloons. Yeah. I've got news. Your daughter's got big check.

Yeah. Yeah. Boy, you could have really, that reference could have gone bad. Like how old are you, Scarlett? Like that... I'm 27. Okay, you're probably right on the edge

of knowing what that means. I would imagine. Publishers Clearinghouse? I don't really know what it means. But you knew about the big check. I knew about Terminator 2. Visually, I know what the check is. I didn't know what Publishers Clearinghouse as an organization is.

I actually don't know that either. I don't know. I don't know where their money comes from. Where does their money come from? Well, it's got it can't be good. I think that they were like booksellers and they would use the contest to get people to buy stuff. And then they would sell a book.

Yeah, since the 80s. Yeah. OK, so the 80s. Yeah. OK, so, oh, I can't believe it. Doris, a murderess. There must be some mistake. A murderess. It's like the version of Comedienne for murderess. Yeah, no, it is very progressive.

Right. I prefer the term female murderer. Lady killer. Miss Palmer moaned when she was revived. Okay, so she said that after she fully revived. I must go to her immediately. Please tell me all the details. Miss Palmer said she would exhaust every resource to save her adopted. Oh, but not Canada. Maybe I could have tried being like a better mother so that didn't happen. True. Yeah. Those adopted kids, you can't trust them. You really gotta watch them. Why did she get hanged Dave? What was what was

the murder? Oh, it is murder. Murderous. She was a murderous. Right. Okay. Murderous. Right. Yeah. Right. Well, yeah. Whatever. I'm fine with it. Get him out of here. Yes, you did that. There's Lady Homicide. Yeah, there's going to be adopted people mad, not real. So this guy was adopted. Oh, yeah. I can make a lot of adopted jokes. We're good. You do.

OK, good. As long as people need to know, I can say whatever I want. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he had a really bags. He's adopted by Mormons. Yeah. Mormons, white Mormons. Really pretty bad. And you know what?

It kind of puts it into now I'm thinking about this girl's plight in my own plight. And I go, I get why you murdered somebody. That's great. Fuck. That is a brutal lottery. That's the opposite of the publishers clearinghouse. Yeah, exactly. A reference that I get. Yes.

Boo's party ends fatally. Fucking hey, there's a lot going on. Yeah, it's killing lot going on. Yeah, the front page is killing it. Yeah. Yeah, wow. This is the front page of the, what was the place that this is from again? Seattle.

Seattle. Oh, Seattle was going up. Yeah, it really was. This story, this happened in Chicago, I think. Well, of course. Yeah, where else? The blues party ends fatally, Chicago, that could have been, that was probably yesterday. Yeah, that else? The blues party ends fatally in Chicago. That could have been...

That was probably yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. It could have been, yeah. Leland Bryan, son of prom... I can't read what this is. Prom King? Go ahead.

Oh. Prom King, an Indiana physician, was shot and killed today and his alleged common law wife, Irene Ford, 28, of St. Paul, Minnesota, was perhaps fatally wounded in a battle following a liquor party in an apartment. Yeah. Wow. Yep. That's Chicago.

The whole thing. Booze party shot, liquor party. We're in Prohibition, correct? Yes we are. There we go. Oh, so it was going to AHA. And Chicago. Probably got something to do with the AHA or something. Yeah, Chicago. Exactly.

Yeah, Chicago during Prohibition was the fucking spot. Yeah. They call that a, there's an Irish goodbye where you leave without telling anyone and a Chicago goodbye is just where you shoot somebody. Yeah, where you kill someone or get killed. Just dead. Yeah. That's how you, you didn't know the party was over until someone got shot.

That is actually the 1928 version of flicking the lights on and off in a bar. That's how you Well, Lacey's dead. Let's get out of here. They yeah, they didn't have closing time. They just had Tommy guns Tommy dies Mule Rex train engineer is killed. What? Jesus Christ. This is like, what's that one folklore tale about like John Smith versus the whatever machine you guys know that one? No, no.

There's like one. John. Oh, yeah. I wanted to teach you about a guy that I know named Joseph Smith. He had some crazy ideas that just might bring you to eternal life. No, I'm talking about the, well, this is a dumb reference now, but there's like this story about like, I think it's a folktale about they introduced a train that could like cut down stuff and he tried to lay more, More maybe was a machine anyway. I find it fascinating that you'll beat a machine nature over

Nature over the time of machines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the mule took the train down That's pretty uh this happened in Sacramento Walter Shields engineer on Southern Pacific train number, died at a hospital here today following a train wreck 15 miles north of here caused by a mule's insistence on its right to stand in the path of an approaching flyer. They are putting a lot of plight on the mules. Like a mule, they're like the mules stood for what he believed in This is I would I will say this is very bowing coded where it's like a mule kicked it. We didn't do it

It wasn't our shitty train. It was You have problems, yeah Really? It doesn't seem like a train would just go through a mule. Yeah, I think so. I think a well-built train would. I mean, how big is the mule? That'd be fucking mad. Yeah, they were.

Much like the conductor was just kind of like, oh, shit sucks for the mule. You know, right. Dealing with unbreakable. Yeah. This like the superpower. I mean, that would be, first of all, great film. A super mule that can take down trains like that. Yes. Yes.

But like, yeah, you see a mule on the tracks. I'm sure he did see it. And he was just like, I'm not going to stop. I would have done. We've got to get these this steel. Yeah, we've got. I want to stop. We've got to get these, this steel. Yeah, we've got to, you know, what I've got to get the steel to the exactly that whatever they were. These price steel based something.

I agree. Yeah. These barrels across the United States. Yeah. You got to get the seal to the steel house. Whatever the whatever they were transporting back then. I don't really know. Also, I really want to just like call out and be in just think about how sad would you be for like your family or just your own legacy if you were the guy that died because of a mule kicking a train and now, however many years later, you know, they say you die twice.

Yeah. Once when people when you die and another time when people forget about you. And I didn't. By the way, for those of us who were not familiar with that, it's a gutting moment. It's not gutting because like we're bringing him up. So he he's still not dead in that way. But to bring him back. Hey, you're back to life. So comedians are shitting on you on a podcast. What's a podcast?

Don't worry, dumbass. Exactly. Died like a loser. It's like a thing Trump would do. He turned on the tracks like a fucking loser from a mule. This man is being remembered a hundred years later for dying in such a terrible way. And that would be awful that that is your I don't know anything about this man. Now in 100 years, this is the only thing anyone alive knows about him

right now is that he died. Well, I'll tell you, if his mother got this news and didn't collapse, that's a crime. Oh, this is collapsible for sure. Yeah, because if you're just like he there were mule hit the tracks. Oh gosh, that sucks. Did he make it with the pickles and steel? He's dead.

Wait, what? It's Joel thing is just he died. But it's a trade. I know. Yeah, no way math math wise, this should not have happened. Well, but the trains are going pretty fast, right? And how much is a mule like 80 pounds? I don't know. You say you're the train.

Yeah, but it was it stood there. It was protesting. We know it was a mule protest. Question. Yeah, it was. Yeah, we're saying free. Listen, yeah, we was. Same free. We call him the free Palestine pony. He was not now like what's Palestine?

I don't think it's actually true. That's not here yet. But believe me. Wait, that was it. Wow. Did I just get Palestine confused with Israel? Cut that out. Cut that out. Cut that out. I said it's not going to exist for another 20 years. Well, no, yeah, you actually showed your true colors.

We know where you stand. You know where I'm at. Yeah. Look, sometimes rifts go awry. It happens. Yeah. I should go back to shitting on adopted people. Get back to that.

That was good stuff. Yeah, dude. Stay in your wheelhouse. I got to stay in my lane. Yeah. I go out of my lane and then bad things happen. It's like a mule on a track. Exactly.

Speaking of, after striking the mule, the locomotive plunged over a 15-foot embankment. This is crazy. What the fuck are we even talking about? Hitting the engineer beneath the wreckage. Whoa. I don't believe this to be a mule. This can't be. I mean, imagine watching that. You'd be like, bro, what the fuck?

I don't think life is real. That's gotta be a horse at least. A horse at least a horse, at least it has to be. Imagine what you can train in a mule and the train fly. Oh, my God. Fuck. Yeah, that'd be kind of. You're like that physically. You know, when you're playing a video game and you run into something with a car

like it's an older like PSD, right? And you're driving a car and you run into something with a car like it's an older like PS2. Yeah, right. And you're driving a car and you run into like full speed into like a fire hydrant and the car stops. A parking cone. Yeah. It's like it doesn't make any sense physically. That is what is happening in this situation. Yeah, right. Jesus Christ.

And was the mule okay? I can't imagine that the mule. I just wanted to know because it's taken out a train. I know. I choose to believe the mule survives. Yeah, I get it. I mean, they didn't even name the mule in the article. And that's yeah, that is shitty. 50 passengers riding in two coaches were unhurt.

So they must have also been like, what the fuck? What happened? Did we hit another train? No, there was a mule. No, it was a mule. It was just a mule. Sorry. Yeah, that's really, it's really crazy.

That's wild. That should be the top story. But did the mule, the mule was already on the tracks or it like kind of just jumped onto the tracks? No, it was just standing. It was just standing. Yeah. Yeah. So he did see it. And the the the the conductor just did not slow down.

Well, he had to be like, I don't care. I mean, he had to be like, look, braking is going to suck. And there's no way this fucks with me. Yeah, but it's still going to ruin the chassis. Is that what you call it for? Yeah. Yeah. It's just the train. Yeah. No you call it? Should be sure. Yeah, no, it'll be a lot of stuff. It'll be a massive. It'll be a massive.

I'm just saying, like, you know, you don't want to deal with that. No, it's not ideal. He must have been really behind on something. It must have been a. Yeah. Oh, my God. Gareth Mother's Day is coming up yeah no crap no crap at all I I got my mom this Mother's Day gift and and it's the it's the aura frames it is a digital frame Wi-Fi connected yes so you can just share pictures right off your phone to your moms.

Anyone will like this. Yeah, but my mother is going to lose her mind over this. And then there will be no pictures of me in it. And if there is, it'll be when I'm real fat, but it will be full of her grandchildren. So I have three. One one just for dogs. So we have just alternating dog pictures. It's crazy. It's like a hundred dog pictures in there. They just show us a new dog picture. Sure. And then my mom's got one. I can just send her pictures and they pop up in her frame. I need to get the address of your mom's frame also. So they don't and you won't know No, I will. No, we're not gonna take no this was a sweet thing. And it looks great. The

frames are really nice. It doesn't look like some weird little you know crappy frame. They are nice looking frames. Yes they really are. No it's great. And so look you can get them for grandmothers, you can get them for aunts, all the women that have the children, ones that don't have children just buy him a frame, right? it was named best digital photo frame by wire cutter and And one of Oprah's favorite things. Yeah, which I am also I am also one of his favorite I couldn't believe when you made that list. I know crazy Right now aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com slash tpt

to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. That's AuraFrames.com slash tpt. Use code tpt to check out and save. Terms and conditions apply. Yeah. And Gareth, we are also brought to you by Hydro. Talk to me.

My favorite. Also a great gift for mothers. My mother's been to you by Hydro. Talk to me. My favorite. Also a great gift for mothers. My mother's been cranking on the Hydro. Just crazy. She's in there and she's like, gosh, I'm just, I don't understand it, but I love the burn. We should tell people that Hydro is a rowing machine so they don't get confused right off the bat of what your mother was just doing. Okay.

Don't love any of this. Yeah, Hydro is the best. of what your mother was just doing. Okay, don't love any of this. Yeah, Hydro's the best. So Hydro is a home rowing machine with a screen where the people basically tell you what to do. The people are rowing in Boston for the most part. Every now and then you'll find them in like a shanty, but for the most part they're out on the river rowing,

being filmed, and you row along with them. They tell you how fast to go, how hard to push it. You can see the calories you're bringing. It is awesome. And it's so low impact. If you're one of those people who, like, you know, you hurt yourself working out or you just don't want to hurt yourself working out, the Hydro is the best. Huge fan of the Hydro.

Huge fan of the Hydro. And you said it's a quality machine right? It's like really really... Yeah it's quality machine. It is by far the best rover I've ever used without the screen and the interactivity but when you put that into it is just the best. I absolutely love it and I use it probably four times a week, I guess. And I have a thing called a couch. Yep, you're really rocking that thing. Be your best by joining the growing rowing community at Hydro, head over to hydro.com and use code TPT to save up to $400 off your Hydro, that's H-Y-D-R-O-W.com,

code TPT to save up to $400.00. Hydro.com code TPT. And we are also brought to you by Airbnb. Now look, there's actually a couple times a year when a big group of my oldest friends and I, and they are old, get together. And we will rent an Airbnb and stay in it for a few days over like a holiday weekend or something like

that and it just always makes the experience a lot better because you know we're in a home. But on the road if I ever have the choice between a hotel or an Airbnb I always go Airbnb just because it's better. I like a home over a hotel. But recently I did start thinking well while I'm gone can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a little more scratch generated

from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So, whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how and how much at airbnb.ca slash host. and how much at airbnb.ca slash host. So sometimes they just have a little burb and a paper like at the bottom, just a one sentence thing. Yeah. Jesus Christ said it is finished when he died.

Wow. So did Jesus Christ die in 1928? Yes, that's very Mormon. It's so weird. I don't, I don't. Like how? I mean what? Like that's not... Jesus Christ said, ehh. That feels like a real letdown for Jesus's last words, you know what I mean? Like he's Jesus. Yeah. He should be like, continue, continue to spread the message. Love is all. But he's like, ah, my throat's killing me. And that's a wrap. I'm out, y'all. I'm out.

Be good, baby. Later. Oh, shit. Fuck. Hey, this is all. That's wait. So that's just at the bottom of the same. That's at the bottom of the page is just down fill taking up a little. It's like a filler, right? Yeah, that's like that's like something that they wanted to tack on to the mule thing just to the way.

I'm not saying that this paper is poorly organized, but if you spend like a paragraph on the mule train thing, which is crazy, and give one line to Jesus's last words, I'd read that paper and be like, wait, that's not- Well, that's- That was what- What's going on? I thought Jesus Christ said it is finished when the mule died. Oh, no, that would have been- Maybe the mule is called Jesus Christ.

That would have been good. Yeah. Judge decides that mothers can smoke. Nice. Just because I'm hoping. Just hope for pregnant mothers. Yeah, right. Just because she smokes is no sign that a mother is not a fit custodian of her children. Judge W.B. Wehann had ruled Saturday

in awarding the custody of three small children to Miss Grace Niederhauser when he granted her a divorce from William Niederhauser. Wow. Although. Oh wow. He was trying to get custody by saying she's a smoker. Right. A smoke stress, they called them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lady buffer. So he's just like, she smokes. He actively beats her. She smokes. She's a smoker. I would love to posit the theory that this man is a drunk, a piece of shit and all that, but he was just like, eh, Hail Mary, she smokes.

She's smoking. Wow. That's no way for a mother to be around children. Sir, you smoke too. Meanwhile, he's smoking. He's burning the kids. He's burning the kids with his cigarette. Smoking in the courtroom. I mean, she's a smoker. I find it fucking disgusting. She's a smoker. I actually I find it fucking disgusting. She's a woman. She can't do it. She's only got one lung.

We all know that. Although awarding her the children in spite of the vigorous protests of the father, Judge Hewin allowed her no alimony, but ordered neither house to pay 35 monthly for the support of the children. That's probably a lot of money back then. That's pretty fun Yeah, that probably won't wait to cigarettes. Yeah. Yeah, I mean you can't she can't get out of money She's a fucking smoker, but it's just gonna be a mom. Yeah, but she doesn't really deserve out of me. I agree Well, you can't give her out money cuz she's gonna spend it all on cigarettes. Yeah, it's disgusting Yeah back a day how many kids does she have, did it say? Because one kid, it's like, whatever.

But like multiple kids that like, they all get to breathe in the smoke, so it kind of makes it less bad for everybody. That is actually true. That is a better theory. The idea that it's like she had nine, three kids. OK, yeah, I mean, that's six. That's six lungs.

That's puffing it down nicely. Disperses it. It's like an air filter. If it's one kid, it's like, puffing it down nice. This first day. It was water filter. That's too much smoke. Yeah, exactly So this bow legs That's the headline is that oh legs is that just they're new and they're coming and you got a 399 a month? This fall on CBS it's Olegs. Can I ask is it B-O-W or B-E-A-U?

B-O-W. Okay, so I thought they were trying to do something real clever. It's just Bolegs. You want to know more. I do want to know. Looks seem to be more precious than life to some girls. Therefore, a girl with bow legs undergoes an operation to have them straightened. Gangrene sets in and both legs have to be amputated above the knee. Who, what is this?

Is this a story or this is just some guy just being like, watch out. It's just, it's short fiction. Yeah. It's not a story. It's not a news report. It's a guy just saying shit. It's a guy just like on a corner,

just being like, then you're gonna lose them. It really was just like, that's a, it's not anything. He's just like, that can happen. Yeah. That's what he said. That's I mean, keep in mind, this is a doctor. This is following Jesus Christ's last words. So we're definitely entering the strange part of the paper.

This is such a strange. This is like a weird like, I love the idea that this is like some weird like Facebook shit. They have a full in papers. It feels like a guy who fetishizes bow legs and doesn't want to see any of them get taken away. Yeah, they get gangrene and you lose them. They'll get gangrene and you know, then you don't have any legs.

And you'll miss your bow legs. If she recovers, she can have a couple of artificial legs, but will probably have to use crutches. Oh, I love that. Bow legs. Bow legs are due to malnutrition and lack of sunshine in childhood, making the bone soft so that they yield and bend under the weight of the body.

A hundred percent accurate. It's definitely a sun issue. You're not giving your legs enough sun. No, I mean, come on. They're like flowers. You've got to give your legs. That's why I'm wearing shorts right now, so they won't get bow-legged. Give your legs vegetables.

Yeah. This lack is sometimes due to poverty and sometimes due to ignorance. Mothers often deprive children of sunshine in order to keep the rug from fading. What is he taught? What the fuck? I don't know.

Well, I mean, they're saying that, okay, here's what he's saying. He's saying that you put curtains up in your house because the sunlight comes in through the window and your rug gets fucking faded. So, in order to save our rug, we're losing our legs. I thought it was still medical where he was talking about pubes. They could be pubed related. Should this guy be allowed in a paper?

Because so far it feels like this is this is like cute. This is yeah. He really just paid. This is like a paid ad. Yeah, it's just a guy making stuff up. Yeah, this should be super. this should be a sky writer. Oh, this gets better. And they often don't know what to feed children.

Right, mothers don't know what to feed children. Well, they're too busy smoking. He's gone from one place to another. Yeah, quickly. No, it's safe to say he's lost the thread here a little bit. Yeah. And you know what else? They don't smile enough.

Mothers. Yeah. And you know what else? They're not, they don't, nobody can do cartwheels anymore. It's for the lack of reading. Doctors unanimously recommend mother's milk until the weaning stage, after which they recommend a continuance of anti-rac-atic diet of other forms.

No idea what that means. This guy is out of his fucking mind. Health departments in cities are waking up to the necessity of giving advice to mothers, and the federal state maternity and infancy service will save many children of the oncoming generation from bowlegs and more serious. He is making it. Bowlegs seem like it was an epidemic. Yeah, he's like measles.

Yeah, it's really crazy. It's like. I mean, maybe there were a lot of people. I feel like we know about this generation of mislegged. I think that they, I think the twenties were just such a time where they had so little understanding of what to worry about. And that's what led to the depression. Just like, I don't know, I'm drunk. It is kind of true.

It's like, you see, like this sort of shit in like two years will just be like, well, I don't care. Can she dance? We need nickels. Right. Okay, here's what, this is from Boston Children's Hospital. Bowlegs often develop in the child's first year as part of natural growth for no known cause.

Some babies are born with bowlegs. So it just happens. Is it self-healing? Or it's just. It turns out it's not sunshine. No, I think. Well, they don't get any sunshine in the womb, so that's why.

Straight. There you go. That's true. Well, yeah, well, you don't want to open it up because of the rug, like you said. Exactly. They put them in like a, you know. A de-bower? you don't want to open it up because of the rug like you say exactly They put them in like, you know a debower Well, like a frame around the frame is gone Yeah, there's a little like God. Yeah, for his comp Skyler is a they run out of them across the country

They get to be part of every major historical event. Any bullets. Okay, all right. So flexing the gump knowledge. It would be amazing if I just read that in Boston. Boston Hospital was like, put them in the sun. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go on. This is right below it. The measure of love. In these days of scientific marvels, far be it from an omni, I can't read that word either. Sorry, some of these are blurry. Editor to deny that love can be measured, but we move for a more specific statement

of the procedure before we admit that this love measurement is not free advertising for actresses and others rather than scientific data. Measuring love? What the fuck is this? But that they, yeah, they, they seem like they were getting to something, but then they never got specific about what he's saying. That some people are saying love can be measured and he disagrees.

Right. Well, they probably had those weird love meter things back then. So maybe it's a retort to that, like where you put your hand on a little fucking metallic grip and it would be like, yeah, and you're smitten. That sounds like cold hand. You've got to say that. Right. That sounds like a Scientology test. All right. Have a good podcast, gentlemen.

Scientology test Have a good podcast gentlemen Okay, how is it possible to compare one girl's love reaction with another's on the film that is supposed to produce this stimulation Is the man used for both girls or do they use a different man? Do they always take care to choose the sort of man with whom the particular girl might be expected to fall madly in love? How do they know what sort of man that is? It just goes on.

He's lost his fucking mind. I am, I get it, I get what's happening here. Sometimes you read scientific criticism of like other science, and this is like criticism of like a carnival game. Right. I mean, yeah. Right.

He went out of his way to be like, that's not science. To your point, it is so funny to imagine what it's all gonna look like in a year. Like stuff like, there's no room to be like, how do you measure a woman's like, they'll be like, we need bread. Can we get bread? I'm dying out here. Please. Yeah. It kind of reminds me now in times where I'm like, you'll see like as everything is sort of falling apart, you'll see things where like some guy will be like on YouTube will

be like, I was trying to solve the biggest problem in my life. How do you get a nonstick frying pan? You're like, bro, we're gonna be like, you're gonna need to get ready. You'll be drinking your own piss. You'll be drinking your own pants. You'll be drinking your own pants. I miss my nonstick frying pan. Here's another little space filler at the bottom. Oh, God. No, no, who chound would trust a shifty eyed stranger if he were buying oil to put in his motor. This one makes more sense to me than the Jesus one. stranger if he were buying oil to put in his motor. This one makes more sense to me than the Jesus one.

It seems like it was like a half of a joke where they're like, well, it's supposed to be no who is in it. It's like, OK, I mean, first of all, this is pure like spacing shit. They just need they need filler because the paper. Right. But it is basically saying like don't buy gin from just anybody because it's like putting weird oil in your car. Is that what it is? Okay. Yeah. I think it's a bit of a I think it's like fentanyl. It's like you know what I mean? Like you know if you're gonna buy your fucking coke makes. Yeah,'re going to cut it. Yeah. So you wouldn't you wouldn't buy oil from some weirdo in the woods.

Why would you do that with your booze? Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. But it isn't also I guess it's also like. But oil is legal. That's true. By the way. And by the way, what a buzz you catch off of a good fucking sip oil. But it is like it it does show, like America's want of alcohol is so strong. We should have learned the war on drugs lesson in this era so simply by being like, look, if people want to fucking party,

we want to party. We want to party. We like to be inebriated. We like to put weird shit in our bodies. So fucking leave us alone. Give us the real shit. I'm out of here. Yep. Yeah. No, I mean, yeah. But I mean, I feel like the war on drugs was about completely well, and the war I don't think they know. They were like, people don't need it wasn't because

they're like, they don't need drugs. No, it was definitely. Yeah, no, it was definitely. How do we put it up front? Yes. Yeah, it was. It was Nixon creating a scare of immigrants. Yeah. You can imagine if you can imagine a Republican doing that. Not Nixon. I mean, I don't believe you had fake news. Thank you. This the who town thing made me think that like, wow,

I'm surprised that none of these headlines or anything that's been read from 1928 hasn't been like weirdly racist in some ways. Yeah. Where it feels like the poll locks are added. Yeah, that is actually very strange. Some papers are a lot worse than others. I mean, when we first started doing the podcast, there are some papers that say Chinese with two E's on the end. It's tough.

And you're just like... Whoa, as opposed to the China herb. There's a China herb and a Chinese in the turn of action. It is just crazy. It is crazy. Yeah. No, but again, we're in the roaring 20s. So, you know, right now they're like, hey, whatever, you know, but in like a year,

that paper will go. Absolutely. Without question. It'll be like it's the Italians. Yeah. OK, this seems to be some sort of advice column. Listen world by by LC Robinson. This is the fuck. These, these, these normally are kind of my favorite parts where you're like, you get to meet the character from this time who's like, I know what I'm talking about. This is titled Why is a bully? Have you married a human cactus?

Hey, uh, someone's drinking hooch from a weirdo. Wow. Okay. Wow. You came in. Came in. Wow. If you like, explain yourself that now she wrote human cactus and went bars. Bars. I think I've done human cactus. I went, bars, bars. I think I've done. Human cactus. Miss David Miller has, and she sends an SOS.

My dear Miss Robinson, my husband causes me endless misery and embarrassment by his rudeness to everyone. I am always having to excuse him to other people and apologize for him behind his back. And yet he's a wonderful husband to me. That makes my problem particularly hard and confusing. When we are out driving, we have a most awful time. He is always bawling out other motorists.

Falling out. Now what is that? It's going to be yelling at, right? It's got to be yelling at. Sure. Falling out. Sure. I just imagine him dunking, getting out of the car every time he drives and just dunking on somebody. Pops on the Rex specs. Crossovers.

Oh, dear. He is the same way the clerks in stores, hat check people, ticket agents, et cetera. He's a dick. He is a dick. If he isn't weighted on instantly, or if there is the slightest mistake in filling his order, he makes such a racket and everyone looks at us and I'm mortified to death, but he just seems to glory in it. The only one he won't pick a fight with is a policeman.

He tried that just once. I mean, this is so fucking what I mean, like he's just the worst. Yeah, the discomfort you feel when someone is a prick about their food in a restaurant is like, man, just fuck. Yeah, but she's like, but he's nice to me. But at home he's the original. I mean, that's actually really, that's surprising that in that time, in the marriages and what was permissible, and he's mean to everybody else but to her, he's like, yeah, this is nice. It is best case scenario as far as the setup goes, because you'd expect like, oh, God,

at home, Oh, God. Yeah. I cannot make friends with people in my apartment because he is bound to insult them sooner or later. For a while, I was very friendly with the lady who lived in the apartment above us. But one night they talked a little longer than he thought they should. So he grabbed a broom and pounded on the ceiling and threatened to call the police. Oh, well, just to do it. Okay. But I agree.

This guy sucks. Can we take a vote of who has who has taken a broom and pounded on the above neighbors? Because I have done that. Yeah. Oh, I've done that like many times. I've done that. I've done that. And I've had that done many times. Living life. Oh, I've done that repeatedly. I've done that and I've had that done to me. Well, you lived.

I've definitely had it done to me. Gareth lived next to a nightmare for a while. That was the worst one. That was without question. What was the nightmare? What was the worst, most egregious effect? Well, let me set it up very quickly. So I moved into this apartment and you know, it's like you can move all your shit in, you're

like, oh, thank God it's over. My buddy comes over the day after I move in, he's like, he brings me a little housewarming gift. It's 11, it's like 1130 AM on a Saturday and we're just chatting, chatting, just quietly chatting. And then I just hear screaming. And I'm like, the fuck? And so I'm like, okay, so we keep talking.

And then I hear pounding and screaming. And I go, is that coming from next door? And so I'm like, I think she, and she goes, your neighbor is trying to sleep. And I go, so I knock on her door and she goes, fuck off. And I'm like, what the fuck? So I text the building manager who literally just rented me the place. And I go, is the woman next door crazy? He goes, sadly, yeah.

And I was like, I go, dude, what the fuck? I just everything got moved in and she was this. It was crazy. Like they needed legally. They had to repaint the apartment like there's some fucking law or whatever. Every eight years you have to. So and they needed to get her out and she refused, refused to leave. Oh, and they had like the police had to come over to get her out for like three days. Oh my god. Fucking crazy. But she would be, I would be like in my bedroom watching TV and I would hear her bed. I was like, this is out of fucking control. She was crazy want raising when when I was living with my I was growing up I was

in high school. I was living with my mom single mom, two young brothers, like, very young, like, I don't know, four and five or something like that. And it was like, had we lived above this guy who hated us so much because he both like was racist and also hated Mormons. And so it was like he was like, What the fuck like moved in. He's like, I never thought both of my enemies would coalesce into one apartment just about the same. It was really, really bad. He would always be like, he would be writing weird like letters and tell us that we were going to hell and like he would pound on the ceiling all the time. But just like in the middle of the day when we weren't even doing anything, it was really, I remember getting almost getting in fights with this guy like multiple times. Like I would be like pounding on his door being like, fucking knock it off. Just

calm down. And then yeah, it was it was that's crazy. Yeah, he would like jokingly be like, you know, put like Satan stars around our house. But if you're in the Church of Satan, that means you're doing a great job. We used to get those at my high school. That's true, he must've been doing great. I lived below a guy once who fucking put the system

on trial, this is when I was in college, and my roommate and I were probably like, whatever, we were like, you know, younger, so we were like drinking and chatting too much, but he hated us. And then one day, to shut us up, he jumped on the floor and he blew out the ceiling lights. And then one day, to shut us up, he jumped on the floor and he blew out the ceiling lights.

And we were like, oh. We're like, this fucking dude crushed. Wow. Yeah, that was done. We were like, all right, that guy wins. All right, well, so, okay, so. I mean, okay, her answer's not that bad. I still don't see how he's a cactus.

Yeah, well. Well, because he's prickly. It took me a while to get it together. He's a prick, yeah, he's got a lot of pricks. He's a prick. And he's clearly dehydrated. Yes, from alcohol, yes. A psychologist would tell you that your husband acts that way because he's, and this is in capitals all of a sudden,

envious, not envious of certain waiters or clerks or drivers, but envious of all power, strength, popularity, good luck and happiness. Pretty... I mean, that's not bad, right? Yeah. Pretty solid. Her. I thought the advice was going to be like, try smoking. You should smile more. Try smiling. Yeah. I mean, but no, that's pretty good. It goes on and on. But she basically says, cure him with love in the end. Wow. So he's talking. Now, why not? Those were Jesus's last words. Yeah, his last words were I'm out. I'm out. Yeah, this was weird.

I don't know why I'm doing Obama's voice for Jesus. Well, forgive them, Father, for they have seen it was our Jesus. They know not what they do. Athletic coach quits when high school adopts dancing. We got a winner. Fuck. And I said, oh, man, I almost dropped a footloose reference, but Skyler, I just. I was going to say my name is Coach Footloose. Oh, fucking beautiful.

How dare you dance at my school? That's crazy. It's such a great hill to die on. Dancing. It's a crazy hill. Dancing. I mean, it's very funny that it's like even dancing happening. It was like, this is not...

Yeah. That's awesome. And it kept happening. It was like, dancing, yeah like and it kept happening it was like dancing rock and roll everything was Satan but to think back to when dancing was a problem like before this it was probably a little big right there's also like there's also specific dances that upset them more than other dances oh wow my god this is really making me I'm I'm glad we chose this year because it's really making me think about what a magical world this time must have been. There's super powered mules.

It says a lot that I almost forgot about the mule. I could never forget. No, no, no. That's going to be the children's book. No, yeah. I think that might be our winner. That's the blue ribbon. But the, but the, I mean, dancing that he just, I love it. They said they're going to dance and he goes, I quit. Well, I'm out. Coach quit.

Is he religious? He's got, he's got to be religious. I mean, well, all right, let's see. This happened in Fort Collins, Colorado. George, George W Scott. Whoa. George W. Scott, ace of track coaches, has tendered his resignation at the Fort Collins High School today, effective today, should supervised dancing be adopted at the school. He declares that athletic teams are only 60% efficient in high schools where dancing is practiced.

That is such a fucking out of your ass statistic. It's fantastic. That is so good. 60, like they were like, what? This is like the Jordan Peterson up there. He's like, I think if you postulate, if I were to actually put the numbers up, they're only about at 60% as productive

if they can dance. A man's feet were not designed to dance. I mean, that's hilarious. Ben Shapiro-y, too. You could see all those guys doing it. Yeah, it's highly logical for a man to even put on shoes to waltz in, let alone to do something like the Foxtrot. I mean, they need to be using their legs for going forward. Yeah, they can't. They should. A man should not be going side to side, backwards and up and down.

It is a slap in the face of everything this economy has built for a man to be doing backward steps and even side steps. This dancing could be the end of Western culture. Well, they actually think that. I mean, I've read some stuff. It's crazy, especially ragtime. They lost their minds over ragtime dancing. Oh my god.

They literally lost their minds. That's when a woman has her period, right? I gotta go. Yes. Dancing was approved by the Parents Teachers Association and now waits only the vote of the school board. Scott has produced two national championship track teams for Fort Collins during the past three years and conference championship football teams

the last two years. He has coached high school athletics for 16 years. So he's like, I bet they voted against it. I bet because they don't want to lose this coach. I bet they voted against it. Wow. Wow. It's really just imagining a world where the big issue is dancing. I'm like, again, like your first point is so right because it's just like, this, a couple of years is just going to be like, we had to eat the dog.

You're right. I would give anything to see. Yeah, he'll be dancing. What was his name, Dave? This guy would have hated to take completely. It is. Yes. Tick tock.

What's his name, Dave? George W Scott, Dave? George W. Scott. Fort Collins. Wow. While you're doing that, I'm going to read this little blurb at the bottom. Men laugh at women for wearing short skirts and pulling them down constantly over their knees. And then the men plan wars and agree on rules to keep the wars from being brutal.

Wow. What? Is that that's the blurb. That's the blur. That's a first night at the open mic. It really is. That's like, that's where you think you have something to say and then you say never just stares at you and you're like, oh, okay Yeah, you know men they laugh at us for wearing our short skirts But then they plan wars and they try to keep the wars from being too brutal. Am I right? And everybody's like what she's like, oh, I guess you guys are feminists like no, we just didn't understand We just didn't understand that I would love to go with you on that. There's a lot of criticisms of men But just didn't understand what you meant. I would love to go with you on that. There's a lot of criticisms of men, but I don't know what you meant. I think he might have left.

Really? I can't tell. He definitely left that school, but I don't know. Can't tell. All right. Anyway. All right. I would love to see a narrative of him where he he leaves and then his life is empty and he discovers day and night. That's the movie. That is the movie movie. That's my pitch.

Who wouldn't be sore? John Hawke. It's a good headline. I'm very worried. That's pretty good. John Hogg and Andrew Munson were facing a real problem Monday and let the world know they were mad about it While the two men were asleep in their bachelor suite at 1818 Terry Avenue early Sunday morning a sneak thief Climbed in through a window sneak thief is great

It is and made a leisurely raid on the place. Everything movable, including all of Hogan's and Munson's clothing, were carted off by the prowler. Wow. This guy's great. When did they get sore? What did they do to get sore? What did the two men do to get sore?

They're sore like they're angry. They're like, you're so mad. We have to fuck each other. Oh. Sore. The other kind of sore. But I like, we have to fuck each other. Oh. Sore, the other kind of sore. But I like the idea of them fucking each other. I should have given you another 20 seconds of leash there.

Ha ha ha! Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. I just, I really was like, waiting for the time when it's like, and also they got, I'm like, but I was like, what?

Yeah. Sore. I forget, people in the past talk different, and they're like, rubbed the wrong way. We're no longer gay. We're no longer gay, we're so sore about it. So, it's Sunday morning. I love a sneak.

Sneak thief is great. Gap burglar was great, but sneak thief is really getting close to the top one. So, it was Sunday morning, so they were they got shit faced and were passed out and some dude rolled in probably got a party with roll. It was a what did they call it? A bachelor suite. A bachelor suite.

Yeah, I do think these two guys. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I mean, you can hold it. Yeah, that's fine. They was their third. They brought in that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you can hold on. Yeah, that's fine. They was their third. They brought in a man. Yeah. And it was a lot of press. We were at he was like, I'm just going to grab. Yeah, that's true. And they're like, well, now we're soared two ways. God damn.

The captain of waiters in the dining room. It's a captain. I love that. Yeah, yeah. There's a captain. I love that captain. Yeah, there's a rank. Yep. The captain of waiters in the dining room at the Belmont Hotel last week suffered a severe annoyance when an unfortunate diner became ill at table. A doctor was summoned and the stricken man was carted out with the assistance of several humane waiters.

All that the captain seemed to be able to think about was that the evening's business was shot to pieces. He went back and forth muttering and scolding to himself, not in the least bit touched by the suffering of another human, concerned only with his measly part of the affair. Some people at a nearby table shook their heads mournfully and murmured, that's New York for you every time. And they were in Chicago. That's one of those things where it seems really, it probably at the time seemed really fucked up for someone to just put money in their bottom line

ahead of the safety of others. But now that doesn't seem to be such a foreign concept. You know what I mean? That would be like Amazon floor manager ignores workers hand being removed just worried about getting packages out on time. You're like, yep, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. That's what happens. Yep. Oh, and has guy. Yes. And you're like, yeah Okay. Well, I mean he was trying he was let's live it off. Oh He was snitching you got to kill him You know the law of corporations

It's also very crazy that like oh this is this is outlandish because this is back in a time when people did have a sense of morality. Now we don't really have a sense of morale, but their morals were just all fucked up. But they actually had the sense, but it was just weird. They didn't really do anything, but they still were muttering to themselves, which seems like that thing. That's what I always think about. This maybe isn't a one-to-one comp, but when you see people go and protest and they go to an event and they start shouting at the politician or whatever, the people who right

away before they even let a peep out start going, oh my God, shut up. And then they just start going like, four more. You're just like, shut the fuck up. What the fuck? Let them let them protest. Right. They're also just like so mad about that, like when people get so mad about protesting, I find it. Yeah.

Because like you're just mad about you're mad about somebody else being mad and they're expressing their anger. And then there's like, well, you're not you're being why are you mad at something that like you you're you're being why are you mad at something that like you're you're expressing well and it's also like the idea that you're like turning your nose up at someone ignoring decorum is like yeah they're protesting. Yeah. The angle.

That's the that's the idea. All right. You want to cap it Dave? You got one more. You got a banger. Yeah. Uninvited dry guess. Spoil nuptial feast.

Uninvited guests. Right. Yes. Yeah, you'll see. Right. You'll see. If you're going to you can come. You can come. But I need you to be. So dry party of three. Uninvited guests have spoiled many a wedding, but never did they put such a crimp into Cupid's handiwork as did five dry squatters Sunday afternoon when they descended on the sumptuous wedding feast at Washington Hall of George Semac and his pretty bride. A dozen tables groaned under the weight of luscious vlands

and nearly 400 joyous guests prepared to do justice to their friend's nuptial banquet. Then the excitement started. Through the front and side doors of the big hall, the police rum sleuths poured. Okay. Hops. Wow. It took me a really long time to figure out what was going on based on the free.

It's kind of early. So cops. Yeah, they yeah, I was like, what the fuck are they? They've done a pretty good job with some of these headlines because you are like, all right, I'm pretty intrigued. Yeah. Yeah. They're like dry.

Guess. Yeah. Okay. And then it's like, oh, so they were cops coming to find alcohol in this. Yeah. Right. Because of the ambition. Can you imagine going to a fucking of Mormon weddings? A handful. I don't really get invited to them anymore. Yeah, I know, man. But they must be awful. Yeah.

Well, they all happened when I was like 21, 22, because that's when we got married then. And yeah, it's just very like, well, if you're not going to be in the temple, you just go to the temple. You just go to the reception and it is very like, it's very like dry and, and it wraps up early and it's just kind of like we're in just like a church building. It's like for all, I know this could be like a youth group meeting. Like it's like, it's like there's nothing. It's not that different. It's like the opposite of a Burt Kreiser show. Dave, you are dropping more Burt Kreiser references on this podcast than I think we're allowed to.

Okay, passing hurriedly from table to table, they wed, gathering up bottle after bottle of sparkling wine, while others roamed the kitchen and lockers with the result that in a few minutes the law had gathered 45 gallons of wine, three quarts of whiskey, and a like amount of brandy. But that was not all. Someone must go to jail for the liquor. And Matt Portish, Senex's close friend and best man at the wedding, claimed ownership of the liquor and was marched off to jail by the happy rum squad. So this guy took the fall. So wow. Well, that's the best man right there. That's a pretty dope move. For him to take all that out. Yeah, all of that. I mean 450

gallons of wine. He's like, yep, right here. Yeah, that's me. That's me. Oh, man. What dicks though? Like fucking let the wedding have fun. Like, cause people are drinking everywhere. They all know it. Maybe someone didn't get paid off. Like you were supposed to pay off the cops

to have a wedding with booze or something. Yeah. It feels like that was like during prohibition. That was like half of cop's job where they're just like running around finding alcohol and they weren't doing anything. They're like murders, whatever. We got to find this booze. Yeah. In a way, it sounds fun.

I mean, it must have made you. It's like, how do you feel like a teenager the whole time you drink? It's kind of. Well, that's like when weed was so much more fun. I know when you weren't allowed to do it. And there was like that fear on the's kind of fun. Well, that's like when weed was so much more fun. I know. When you weren't allowed to do it and there was like that fear on the other end of it. And now I get anxious about it, but like I know that it's not illegal. So I'm like, well, now what am I getting anxious for? Before I was like, oh, what if somebody finds me? And I'm like, now I guess I'm just afraid of being judged.

Yeah. Now you're like, I just have anxiety about who I am. This is horrible. Yeah. No, I remember when it used to be like, I remember one time me and my buddies, we went in high school, we got, we fucking smoked bongs in a car. And then as we were walking into the movie theater, there was a security guard. My buddy was being loud and I go, Hey man, keep it down. And he just looks at me and he goes, what the fuck is he going to do? I was like, all right, we got to just calm down, man. Five. Oh, I was like, five. Oh, chill, chill, chill.

All right, well, Skyler, thank you for taking a trip through a weird prohibitive mule train derailing tie with us. I loved it. I really loved it. I have not thought about 1928. Yes, I bet you have it. Yeah. There's Prickly.

There's Cactus Guy. There's the mule that I'll never forget. There's the mule. The lady that got shocked. Oh my God. Well, let's be honest, the mule won the paper. I mean, you know what I mean? I mean, and I never knew Jesus' last words before.

I don't think it's time to take part in the pun that is gospel because I do think that, I don't believe it. Was there a nurse? Where was this? They think he also said, and that's a wrap. Those were the two. I'm out. That's all folks.

That's all. That's the one. That's the one with the stutter. Well, Skyler, people can go find you on Instagram, Skyler Higley and watch After Midnight, which is a show you're writing on. And at some point, you'll have some sets in Los Angeles once you start pandering as is bound to happen. Oh, I'm definitely around, follow my Instagram. I'll post my stuff, and I'll be back through

Chicago and New York sometimes. So, you know. Be careful if you do, because we've heard some weird stories about that area recently. Well, thanks for joining us, Skyler. And as usual, Dave, screw you. All right, everybody, take care. In the words of Jesus, that's all, folks.

It is done. Oh, that's all, folks. Okay, put it back. Some of these days, you'll miss me, honey. Some of these days. And we are also brought to you by Airbnb. Now look, there's actually a couple times a year when a big group of my oldest friends and I, and they are old, get together and we will rent an Airbnb and

stay in it for a few days over like a holiday weekend or something like that. It just always makes the experience a lot better because, you know, we're in a home. But on the road, if I ever have the choice between a hotel or an Airbnb, I always go Airbnb just because it's better. I like a home over a hotel. But recently I did start thinking, well while I'm gone can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a little more scratch generated from

someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how and how much at airbnb.ca slash host.