The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 78 - Ravi Patel
Episode Date: June 14, 2024Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined by actor Ravi Patel. Redbubble Merch...
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Alright everybody so listen as you probably know I travel a lot a ton always on the road always staying in places and
If I ever get to choose for myself, I always choose Airbnb over a hotel. It's just better
It's more like a home a lot of times
I will book Airbnb even if like a club will book me a home or whatever
But recently I was at a hotel and someone walked into my
room because they'd been given the key to my room as well and I was like, yeah, it's
not a great idea.
So I ended up leaving that hotel and got an Airbnb for the night because there's also
a little bit of security in it.
Anyway, so look, I also recently started thinking like while I'm gone, can I turn my place into
an Airbnb?
And the answer is yes, it can be as easy as putting your place up, then you make a little more money on the side
Just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road
So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun
Your home might be worth more than you think find out how much at air B and B
dot CA slash host
out how much at air B and B dot CA slash host.
Oh, my God, here we are on an episode of the past times.
We're having a because I'm trying to make it seem like we were having a lot of fun off mic and we weren't.
You know, the deal, it's a podcast. Look, each week we go through
a well, we're the guys from the dollop. You know, it's from that and each week we go through
a newspaper from a random date in history. Should we stop because my housekeeper just
walked in? No, stop. Jesus Christ. I haven't introduced you yet. Yeah. I mean, you've really
soiled the intro. You'll know when you're introduced that you can jump in.
Okay.
You can't hear my housekeeper.
You don't hear the Spanish.
I hear you.
I hear you.
I hear screaming and it's coming from you.
I hear you.
Other than that, I got nothing.
We go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dave
Anthony.
I, Gareth Reynolds, have no idea what is in it. And
neither does this week's guest, a man who has a housekeeper. Is now the time stop.
Okay. All right. One of my first actor buddies. Yep. Ravi Patel, the great Ravi Patel. Hello, Rav. How are you my love?
Now you go
Action. Hey, he's fucking actors
Thank you for joining us things must be good you have a housekeeper so things are probably pretty good
Hey, you know what you moved to Nashville anything can happen so we can talk about you living in Nashville. Yeah. So things are
changing. You're saving money. You're saving money. You're
saving money. You just had a baby. You ate chicken salad like
you wandered into this home and haven't been in a home in three
to four weeks. That's how you are. It's hard to get a meal break
out here, man. I'm too busy trying to save money. That's how you were hosting it. It's hard to get a meal break out here, man. I'm too busy trying to save money.
That's crazy.
All right, Ravi, let's get into the credits.
You have, you're on animal control with Joel McHale,
where you kill a lot of animals, is that right?
No, that's not the premise, Gareth.
We mostly save animals. Oh, way better. Yeah, it's a network show. Oh, great, it's no, that's not the premise Gareth. We mostly save animals.
Oh, yeah.
It's a network show.
Oh, that's a way better concept.
We mostly do cute things.
I was wondering how you got picked up.
Yeah, okay, that's better.
That's a way better concept.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
Let's talk about how horrible the person Joel is
because I've worked with he's he's just the
worst person. Is he still a terror? Yeah how do you know Joel? I used to we used to do commercials
audition together all the time so it was good. Oh really? Yeah. I wonder I wonder if he's
changed at all. No. Something started off being a real prick.
But you know, wealth really changes people.
You'd be surprised how generous people become when they become super rich.
I just want to point out there that he killed my first child.
Well, you know what I always find is that-
So downhill from there.
If you're not rubbing,
get your phone on ring as soon as you can.
And I find that people who always tell you that money isn't the only thing are really
rich and they forget what it's like to be poor.
Because when you have money, it's a lot, it's pretty great.
It's a lot easier.
Everything's pretty great.
Everything's better with money.
It's kind of the main thing you should be going for, certainly at this age.
Can we get your housekeeper a mic?
Is that possible?
I don't mean to be that guy, but can she jump in?
That would be awesome.
Joel loves money.
He's very open about it.
Little known fact about Joel, he's never turned down a job. Yeah. That's amazing. that's
that's amazing but the best thing about Joel is how much he openly hates Jerry Jason it's just glorious
yeah he'll talk about it any chance he gets
it's very difficult to bring him up without Joel going into the same stories.
Right.
Like, I've heard this one.
Anybody knew?
Yeah, I'm like, Joel.
Defamatory tales.
We're friends.
You've told me this story 40 times.
I get it.
He's an asshole, but I think he's kind of traumatized.
Sounds like working with Chevy was not a good experience.
Well, speaking of working with people that's not going to be good, this show is going to
be painful.
There's no doubt.
I mean, Ravi, I know you love this show because before we started recording, you said, what
is this?
Yeah.
So, okay, so here's what we're going to do.
I would imagine this is the peak of my interest in the show.
Without question.
This is as good as it gets.
Without question.
Me too. Without question. This is as good as it gets. Me too. Without question.
It's like an arranged marriage, which reminds me, your documentary, is it called Meet the
Patels?
Segway City.
Yes, it is.
So good.
I recommend people watch that.
That is such a fucking great documentary.
Anyway.
Thank you, my friend.
We're going to go through a newspaper from history.
I always like to start off by guessing what year this will be from. Okay. Let me give you one the first headline
And then you can guess how's that? Okay, so we're gonna get the year. Yeah go
female argument
Female argument
That could have happened at any time I think I think the fact that it's making a headline, it's
got to be old. I mean, it's got to be old. I'll go 1830.
Yeah, and although like 1920, when were the cars, did they have the little wagon wheels
for wheels? When was that?
Well, by 1920, I believe we had some, we had cars by 1920.
Yeah, I think we had cars, cars.
But were the wheels the big fat ones or the ones that looked like wagon wheels?
We're not going to get into what kind of wheels people had.
They weren't wagon wheels, they were car wheels.
Okay, I'm pushing it back to 1905.
Okay, great, good guess.
Boy, it's crazy how off-Garrett was.
It is 1939. Oh, shit. Wait, that was my original, I guess it's crazy how off-grid was it is nineteen thirty nine.
Oh, wait, that was my original.
I mean, that basically, right.
I don't know.
You got thrown off by your crazy cartoonish history.
My which is what I think what tripped you up is when you said what year did cars still have wagon wheels?
That's where it became tricky for you.
You know, when cars had wagon wheels and like the big like.
That's a wagon. Cloth white covering.
That's a wagon. Round.
You know, and they didn't have motors.
Those aren't cars.
And so just to be clear, those are not cars.
OK. All right. Well, why don't we start, Dave?
You've tipped it off.
So female argument.
All right.
So it is actually an Australian paper.
It is Queensland, Innisfail, Queensland, Australia.
It is the Evening Advocate, May 12, 1939.
Friday.
It's a Friday.
Female argument settled by males.
I mean, can we just.
That sounds right.
We're three guys.
Let's be course.
See, I feel about males interjecting into women's arguments
the way I feel about America going to other countries to fix their wars and problems.
It always comes down to us.
And we're. Yeah, guys. It's comes down to us. Guys!
Guys.
Those are the good old days when you can actually do that without them yapping and getting in the way of a resolution.
Yup. Thank you. By the way, we want to point out we are no longer woke on this show.
This show is post-woke.
I live in Tennessee.
Yeah. I live in Tennessee. I know. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I love that.
Yeah. So taking a strange tone, but OK.
Yeah, it got really weird.
OK, so a man breaks it up.
Haggling at tennis matches.
Women, women, women.
This was the trend discussion by mere males
at the fortnightly delegate meeting at the Innisfail
Tennis Association held on Wednesday night
When the men folk attempted to iron out the troubles of the lady members of their clubs and so prevent some of the battles
that were forecast
Okay, you say bowels were fat or house battles. Okay, that makes more more amazing. But now it's battles. I'm fighting over predicted diarrhea
Yeah, okay, so they're having this so the way I could only imagine what the argument would be over
But the women are having okay, they're gonna get into it
It appears that when teams of ladies met there is a reluctance on the part of the players
to make a mobile list of members and the order in which they
are to play.
And it was felt that this is likely to cause
trouble in the future.
So this sounds like the ladies were just casually doing it
and the dudes are now saying that's
going to cause problems.
The dudes are getting involved in the situation.
Sounds like it was going fine, right? Yeah, obviously. Yeah, it sounds like it sounds like, okay, so wait, Dave, are
you suggesting that the men overreacted and just kind of jumped in and then the
paper was like, men solve everything?
Yes.
I don't understand the problem.
They were fighting over the order in which the members will play and the women will...
There was no there was no fighting at all they were just not giving the list
of who was gonna play next. And the men were like, break it up, break it up, break it up.
You broads are always worried about this sort of stuff. That's exactly what was happening.
Why were only the women upset about this? No, the men were, the women weren't upset.
The women were fine with it. It's just the dudes.
Gotcha.
It's definitely a woman's problem.
Yeah. One instance one instance reported was one captain who are
you playing first? Second captain, I will not tell you who
are you playing first one captain who are you playing? The
result was that some of the male members of one of the clubs were
called in to try and do
Something in what he described as a lot of haggling anyway the game went on
Nobody cared and they still played yes
It must have been a slow news day. I was just gonna say I
Mean, it's like it's how what like, but I think tennis is a big
part of life.
And now Revi, you live in Tennessee, right?
Is there a lot of tennis there?
That's what it was named after you.
I love the word play, Garrett.
I've recently gotten into tennis and I live in a master plan community where a lot of
people are doing stuff like that.
Wait, you live in a what?
Tennis is huge and misogyny also huge.
That exact same problem would easily happen here.
Yeah, and that's when a masseuse comes over
and sort of misgenders you or something like that, misogyny.
All right, Dave, keep going.
That's double wordplay, motherfucker.
Let's party.
Okay, so right now I have the story as,
Robbie has 10 points, Gareth has a negative 40.
And I have Dave, hold on. You keep getting like
Roboty voice. So you hear that Rob?
I'm getting Roboty voice and I'm also not hearing that there's a scoring system.
Yeah, there is a winner.
But you're ahead. So it's fine.
You're recording a local, right, Dave?
I don't even know how I score. That's great. No, actually, my recording is a winner. But you're ahead, so it's fine. You're recording a local, right Dave? I don't even know how I score.
That's great.
Actually, my recording's not working.
Oh, okay.
But it should be fine,
because this is a local for me.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, thank you.
All right, and we're back.
And we're back.
Okay, so the reason for this is that one team
tries to bottle up a player to meet a certain other player,
and a woman feels that as she had beaten so-and-so,
who in turn had a win of Miss What's-Her-Name,
she would like to meet Miss What's-Her-Name.
They're trying to, yeah.
But this is like in a paper,
and this is like feels like the recounting of someone
who you'd be like, I want this person to stop talking,
but they like put this to print.
So So-and-so was doing something, but want this person to stop talking. But they like put this to print. So, so and so was doing something,
but who knows what her name is.
And then she came and I'd be like,
this is just like, I have a new theory.
I think that one of the women was upset
and her husband is like a big, big way at the tennis thing.
And she was like, can you fucking deal with this?
And now he's getting involved. That's what I think now.
Okay. All right.
When it was suggested that both captains prepare a list with the order of play.
Rubbing your faces.
Yeah, it's really-
Agitated, bothered.
It's really-
Actually, look-
Baffled and bothered.
I just, I don't like-
Yeah, this is-
What is it? I still don't know what you're fighting about. Like, this is insane.
I don't like what is I still don't know what you're fighting about. I like this is insane.
They're fighting because they're saying that in the past, like one woman may have beaten
another woman. And so they want to know if they're going to light up and play that person in the next.
No, I understand what you're saying, Dave. I'm saying this doesn't I don't understand why this
is newsworthy. Like what? What? Yeah yeah you should be I'm a tennis guy
yeah you're just they're just fighting over who's gonna play against to yes
it's important okay yeah I guess right seating is important that's on me that's
on me yeah you know important seating iss are a big stupid thing to me to say.
When it was suggested that both captains
prepare a list with the order of play and chips for them at the same time,
one delegate, a married man at that, replied that both would have a string
to the list because women are women.
And it's crazy.
Why does that? Why is that guy getting involved?
I would just run through this argument with a bat and just start taking people out.
How many people you think are involved in this debate here, Dave?
Oh, I think there's a lot.
I think the entire tennis world wrapped up in this, especially now that it's in the
paper.
I love country club anger it's so great when
it's just like look the greens aren't proper you know the ketchup's not the Heinz this honestly
sounds like like an hoa meeting yes yeah right yes my manager plays tennis like you know club
level like all that stuff And she says it's fucking
weird. Very weird. I would say it gets a tournament. It gets really weird. Yeah. Anyway, it was
decided that there is to be no dissension over the matter of the future and this must
be swung at one time. So the opposite sex will have to bow to the law of their masters.
Wow. Jesus Christ. Well, there's an hour making progress. I don't know if that's the takeaway, to
be quite honest with you. I feel like you don't think that that
sets like a precedent that preempts these kinds of
conflicts from happening in the future. I think you'll find that
that I don't actually know.
Well, I'm sorry, you like a feminist or something. I'm
yeah, I'm pro I'm an ally. I'm what they call an ally.
Well, don't you have to think we don't you have to see this through the lens of the time Garrett?
It was 1939. I think it was thing should be so far out of here.
This is when the cars had wagon wheels though. No, no, no. Again, that distinction. No, but we've
already put that whole thing to bed. So you even thinking that we're near that again is, it shows
poor listening. Is it all possible that you don't know what a wagon wheel is? I don't know, is it all possible that you're a
woman and you identify as one and therefore your point of view
here? You know, men living men.
That's okay.
I feel like you just made two conflicting points. Yeah. We
should point out that one time, Ravi and I were gonna go play a
pickup game of basketball. And I put on some weight and I showed up.
I showed up not thinking I'd put on a ton of weight and Ravi goes, whoa.
And I'm like, what?
No. Yeah.
And he goes, what's what happened?
And I was like, what?
He's like, you're huge.
And I was like, what?
He goes, you got fat.
Robbie, you are currently my hero.
And then when I tell you, when I tell you, Gareth was so angry.
Like it was the first time I've seen, I'm sure you've seen Gareth's temper.
I don't know what it's like now, but I know then he starts to get red in the face and
then it starts coming out.
Can I tell you the best, this was the best part is that I was like, I'm going to take
it out on the court.
And I was playing like a regular sized me.
And I was realizing with how gassed I was getting out there that I was fine.
His body had trouble keeping up.
I was like, I'm a fucking chill.
And then by like the second game was like, we go, we're going right away.
We're going right away.
And a rough guy.
Well, that's what that weight does to you.
That's what that weight does to you. That's what that weight
does to you.
Shown up on the court.
The best part was, and Gareth has brought this up with some frequency since that time,
which is probably 15 years ago.
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
And the best part of the story though, is that you said that it was a huge motivating
factor for you.
Yes, yes.
And so I felt, I mean, I still feel like- It was. huge motivating factor for you. Yes. Yes.
So I felt.
I mean, I still feel like I did a public service.
I don't know if it's a public.
I don't think I know.
It's a good example of what happens
when a man speaks his mind.
OK.
Jesus Christ.
No.
Stop.
mainland.
Shit.
This was a small town.
There would have been a headline about that.
Well, shamed off court.
Women not present to fuck it up.
Yeah, the good thing is, is I think now
Garrett has an eating disorder and here's that in his head all the time.
So it's your it's your voice that he's hearing in his head.
By the way, you look amazing, Gareth.
I will show you.
You look great.
Shut the fuck up.
I want you to hurt me again and I will show you.
I'm gonna get a neck lift.
We were in Australia and after like a week,
he's like, oh God, I'm so fat.
And I'm just like.
I was, and I am.
Buddy, why don't I take off my shirt
and then we'll talk about what.
And then he did and then it got so...
We rassled.
It was really a crazy day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We did rassle.
We rassled on the beach.
And we're like, we're trying to show each other who has the better body.
Yeah.
What if I said now that you look emaciated and potentially not eating enough, where does
that end thing...
You're trying to psych me out, so I'm going to go do core after this.
I'm going to show you. I'm going to do obliques.
Yeah, I can't say to women, you know, and then they are.
I know it's like you're ruining your back and your back.
So I'm sorry.
Just made an observation.
I know what it's like to be mansplained.
All right, Dave, what else you got?
Well, then we're still on the front page.
You're not going to believe this, but it's another tennis
story.
Jesus Christ.
Delayed installation.
Wait, so this story is a front page?
This is a front page?
This is a front page.
Yeah, these are...
Apparently, people want tennis stories on the front page.
That's what they're...
I wonder if there was some...
There must have been some tournament going on or some shit.
This was clickbait.
It doesn't sound like there's a tournament. It sounds like it's just regular.
Can't have back to back tennis stories.
Sounds like pick up tennis in a club.
It had to be something that's
delayed the rest of the people in the town who aren't playing tennis
or picking up the story and like, oh, God,
two men were murdered.
It's been a murder.
They were like, what's up?
The balls aren't bouncing because of the humidity.
Tennis Association phone complaints at the meeting.
The Innisfail Tennis Association is concerned over the delay in installing the telephone
at the home of the secretary, Mr. Willett.
As of at a meeting on Wednesday night, the president reported that the association was having the telephone installed at the home of Mr.
Willett for the convenience of clubs.
Well, this is I just want to say that this is this is an article about
getting a telephone installed in someone's house.
Yeah, it isn't even an interesting.
Like the first story at least had some kind of stakes to it.
This is really an uninteresting tennis story
Well, we'll see this is a guy trying to get his phone bills paid for by
Association yeah, I think he's trying yeah the paid for the installation paid for I think that's what he
Yeah, this seems more like a conversation about
Expensable
Yeah, this is what this is a talk you have with the account.
Yeah, you're the account.
Yeah, it's exciting. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
It will be three days of a month before the telephone is installed.
I did, Mr. Rothwell, it is a crazy matter.
As far as the association is concerned, we are having the phone provided
not for flashness,
but to give clubs information as to whether matches can be played when the weather is
wet.
Oh my God.
The phone was very necessary last weekend and each Sunday if there had been tennis fixtures
set down for the last 10 weekends.
If the weather continues, the phone will be going day and night.
The secretary has had to run to the next door neighbor
to answer calls.
Does it?
Does it?
Do we know?
I mean, the phone's very expensive.
I mean, like it could have made,
maybe it was a huge deal back then,
depending on how much they call us.
I think this was, yeah,
this was definitely a rich people phone time.
So the rich have the phones.
I think so, yeah.
I like that then.
I like that like regular people are probably like, well, we need a phone to communicate
to our town about important things.
And then this guy's like, I need it because there might be tennis matches rained out.
Right.
So Robbie might not know this, but in the American West before the phoneset, they
would use, farmers used barbed wire on their, that was songs.
They would just like connect a listening device and yeah, talk to each other.
You can do that.
You have sound.
I didn't know.
Isn't that how you talk in Tennessee? That sounds You have some. I don't know. Yeah.
Isn't that how you talk in Tennessee?
That sounds really made up.
Barbed wire phones?
Are you not?
Wow.
You should look into it.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that.
By the way, the fact you just dropped is more interesting than anything in the previous
story.
It's way more interesting.
Wait.
It sounds good. It sounds similar to the string at the end
of a cup version of a telephone. That's also a way that people talk to each other. But I think what
you guys are missing is that the guy has to go next door to use. No, no, that's very clear.
Yeah, no, we got that pretty simple story thus far far I don't know what do you want to get into the neighbor now like how rich is that guy? Yeah, I
Hope he's charging him
Mr. Rothwell said that the postmaster general's department advertised its system of service and it certainly gave
Service once the phone was installed, but there was no service before okay, so
Just to break this now for people that are we get there was no service before. Okay, so just to break this now for people that don't understand. No, no, we get it.
There was no phone service before the phone was installed.
It's really clear.
No, I don't even like.
Yeah.
This is just, we're getting details
on the installation process, the logistics.
A phone is a thing with numbers
that'll connect you to places.
Yeah.
He just explained how phones work.
Yep.
Mr. Wood said he had been informed that that day that the department had to make up cable.
Now Mr. F. Lowe said that private individuals could get the phone on in a few days.
His had been transferred in five days.
How much longer is this story?
This is really important.
It's really important.
I'm going to jump in and insist that it end.
And I'm the editor.
I'm going to do what the editor should have done,
which is I'm furious.
Stop.
Wait, hold on.
I think there's something.
I mean, Derek, we're not seen.
We need to step back.
I don't want to.
I think the front page is like this.
This is clearly some sort of propaganda.
We have to start to question who is running the paper.
Is it the accountant?
I mean, I it's the only explanation for such a boring, simple fucking.
I support your mission on trying to get to the root of why this is happening.
I think I think I think I missed your rock while. Rockwell, why you chose this story, Dave.
Yeah, I'd love to know.
It's fucking exciting.
I think Mr.
Rosswell, the explanation has been made
to show that it is not our fault
that the telephone is not on.
It will be several more weeks.
I think you keep putting up your finger
like something revelatory is about to happen,
and then it continues down
the path of getting
worse.
Mr. Henderson, it will probably be in by the end of the season.
I don't care.
Mr. Lowe suggested getting in touch with the postal inspector at Cairns over the matter.
I don't, I just, you have like constable solving mystery energy for a story about a tennis hotline
Do you do you enjoy the show Colombo because you basically just sat through that
just I
Can I go? Okay?
Just go
Yeah, please know just be in your seat. Do me a favor. Don't stop reading the article
Yeah, please. No, just pee in your seat.
Do me a favor.
Don't stop reading the article.
Please.
I'll be back in a second.
You're actually going to pee.
Ravi, just to be clear, just to be clear, Ravi, you've been podcasting for 30 minutes.
Chicken salad, pee.
Okay, you're going, you better not come back with chicken salad.
We don't normally take podcasts for, it's an hour.
It's like- Do hour it's like do you
not have do you not edit this thing are we just gonna again it's such actor
energy for like it's not actor energy I have a horrible bladder I have a
horrible bladder I'm not proud of it all right okay cut he I think we should
leave this party well now what well I don't know. How do you think his chicken
salad was? I don't care. I, we have been podcasting for 30 minutes. Well, he did eat that chicken
salad, so he probably. It doesn't mean there's not a lot of liquid in there. He shouldn't
be pissing. Well, maybe he's not, maybe he's not peeing. I'm suggesting that Robbie's He did bring up the chicken salad.
All right everybody, so listen, as you probably know, I travel a lot, a ton, always on the
road, always staying in places, and if I ever get to choose for myself,
I always choose Airbnb over a hotel.
It's just better, it's more like a home.
A lot of times I will book Airbnb,
even if like a club will book me a home or whatever.
But recently I was at a hotel and someone walked
into my room because they'd been given the key
to my room as well.
And I was like, yeah, it's not a great great idea so I ended up leaving that hotel and got an
Airbnb for the night because there's also a little bit of security in it.
Anyway so look I also recently started thinking like while I'm gone can I turn
my place into an Airbnb and the answer is yes it can be as easy as putting
your place up then you make a little more money on the side, just
generated from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road.
So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills
or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think.
Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.
The level of exhaustion from taking a pee.
I mean, I'm missing.
Put your AirPods back in.
AirPods. Oh, for fuck's sake.
How is that possible?
You put them down.
How is that possible?
They on the ground?
This is amazing.
Is that both of them?
OK, better. Oh better way better audio, okay
Fascinating. All right. Okay
You think you can make it to the end now? I'm good. Let's wrap it up. All right. No
We're not no, we're not no
No, it's you know.
All right, Dave.
Come on, Dave.
Zing him.
Hit him with something.
Man.
Tennis balls over inflation.
Oh, my God.
I'm very interested in what's on the second page of this newspaper.
Well, what happens sometimes is they do you go, what the
fuck, because the second page, they're just like, uh, aviation invented.
Well, that's how it is in the real newspaper. You know, like the first ones are just things
that are really the front page is usually whatever they know is going to catch people's
attention. But the second, second page has good news. Yeah. Yeah. Or
something interesting. Yes. Yeah. I disagree. Uh, and those cases. I was always way better.
Today, Emmy Cochran, a Weybridge clerk at Bambina Bambinda Bambinda was treated at the Innisfail Ambulance Brigade Center for a probable fracture
of the rib on the left side.
Hmm.
Okay.
So fractured rib.
Yeah.
Medical attention was advised as for G Corbin, a woodcutter of Moreland Harbor, who inflicted
an incised wound to his right foot with an axe.
H.C.
Kirk was taken in the hospital.
He spurred the top of the first finger of his left hand
when he caught in a mincing machine.
So this is just hospital roundup.
That's the medical.
This is like I actually love that.
I love it, too.
And yeah, this is the thing that led to the invention of the obituary.
Yeah, these are these are pre obituaries.
I love just I like that because they do do that.
They do do like the here's the clump of deaths that happened.
I like going like so look a guy mints his finger.
A guy broke his rib and a guy axed his foot.
You're like fucking all right.
I bet people are going to go out.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's There we go. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah.
OK, so this is definitely a very rich town because this story is titled
Kennel Club Show postponed week. Oh, wow.
Innisfilk Kennel Club, yes, was disappointed to receive a
telegram from Mr. J. Watson of
New South Wales to say that he had met with an accident and he had been confined to his
bed and would not be able to judge the show set for tomorrow.
The wire was received on Friday evening last and consequently the club had to find another
judge immediately.
So this one, do you guys like this story?
I like that he would have gotten it sooner if they had a phone. I mean it's kind of true. It's kind of true
Yeah, the tennis club had been hogging the phones. The kennel club needs a phone. I like that
There is a guy who is such a good dog judge that the whole thing is thrown into great peril when he can't do it
And how sick do you have to be or fucked up to not be able to go judge dogs?
Yeah.
And did we see this guy's name in the previous article?
Like, was this in July before that?
No, I don't believe we did.
I was going to flag that as well.
I don't believe we've heard as to why he's out.
Because this guy, this paper is in Queensland and this, the guy is in New South Wales.
So he's away in the way. So you have to cross reference it with in New South Wales. So he's the way to go.
You have to cross reference it with the New South Wales newspaper of that day.
That's correct.
Yeah, but if you got that paper, we'd know what happened to him.
And I'm sure Dave has that paper on hand.
Exactly.
Some real piecing together, some microfiche, that sort of stuff.
Okay, so now they're hunting for a new dog judge.
That's correct.
So the wire was received on Friday evening last and consequently the club had to find
another judge immediately.
Contact was made with some judges in the north
but all weren't able to judge the show
owing to other engagements.
I'm already judging dogs tomorrow.
Oh, I'm judging cats.
I'm doing a bunch of dog judging over the next two days.
Well, I've been thinking women for a while.
Everyone's swamped with dog competitions.
Chances of obtaining a judge at short notice were not too rosy.
And it was decided on Sunday to telephone Mr.
J.P. Quinn of Townsville and explain the position confronting
the club.
Phone.
I got to say, I am so invested in this and I think it speaks to how bad the last story
about tennis phones were because this story is about dog judges and I am genuinely like,
I cannot wait to see where this goes.
Mr. Quinn informed the club that he would give the request consideration
and the definite decision by 9pm Sunday on getting in touch with Mr. Quinn at
night. He was sorry to inform us that he would not possibly get away from
Townsville on May 13th and recommended other gentlemen who might judge.
What is it? Why is he asking his wife Is he? Is that that? Why is he asking us around? Is he asking his wife?
Yeah, they didn't ask.
Why are you not asking?
I like mission back then.
Darling my I go judge dogs.
Mom's coming.
Maybe he had to call contact someone at the tennis club.
We don't have a phone.
I don't think so.
I don't think that's what happened.
He sent a telegram to the tennis club didn't get there in time
Right. I don't I think you guys are meanwhile the accountants like see see
Mr. Quinn Officials mr. Quinn recommended had already informed the club. They could not oblige us and on advising mr. Quinn fact
This is crazy. It would only be too pleased to judge
our show if we could advance the date to May 20th.
Under the circumstances, the club decided to accept Mr. Quintin
Jeter's offer and a Monday wired to CK for permission to advance the show.
Oh, they changed the whole schedule.
Now, you know, this judge, it's a good business to get in back then, I guess.
They couldn't they couldn't find another judge.
Why the fuck? How the fuck is it so goddamn hard to find another dog judge?
How qualified do you have to be?
Well, you go to school.
It's a four year degree.
I've seen what these people do.
They never pick the right one.
First of all, I've watched a lot of Westminster.
They never pick the right one.
And basically, you look at it, you open its mouth, you check out its teeth,
and then you give it a quick goose on the genitals,
and then you sort of like lift up the tail,
check out the anus, and then you just kind of watch,
and you have like a little bouncer clicker thing
where you're going like one, two, three,
and you just basically, you just go in order.
And it's dogs.
Nobody's gonna be able to mid,
nobody's gonna be able to go like,
wow, you got those dogs real wrong.
They're dogs, They're all great.
How many people this is why you're not a dog judge, Gareth.
Everything you do. That's right.
I think, yeah, you guys are being you guys are being asked.
How many people how many dogs do you think you've lost because the Avis was off?
I don't know.
Is this an over under? Yeah.
It's definitely an under.
I would love to know that.
Where are guys like, I don't know, he's got like a freckly bung.
It's a little saggy, so I don't love the anus is there.
The anus is not as pink as the Alsatians.
The Alsatian has the better asshole.
OK, this is a small one.
McKay Road Race, the photographic film of last Sunday is disputed.
McKay Road Race finish went on to Melbourne to be developed.
They will not be back till the weekend.
I don't even. That's great.
You bet you. I've never been to a horse race where they do a photographic finish
and they do it immediately. It's like 30 seconds later.
But in this case, they have to send the film to another state.
And you know, it's happening.
You know, they had like a like kind of like an equine Trump who is like,
there's clearly fraud.
They've clearly they've set off the.
Why can't they let us know the day of the race?
We should be able to find out today.
It's a photograph, so we have to, oh, we can't develop it.
Get the photograph.
I'm sick of it.
Clearly, there's a lot of fraud.
There's a lot of fraud, okay?
These people seem quite tedious.
Like they seem to get up in arms about a lot of they seem to sweat the small stuff quite a bit
That's very true. This is the minutiae times
The minute this is a this is a this is a white town constantly. Is that bothering you? I heard that. Yeah
Yeah, what was that? Who is that? It's fine going in and out. It's fine. Okay, because it's constant. It's fine
Yeah, don't worry about it. Don't worry about how's your house?
Everything's been crazy and that just kind of helps everything.
There's a lot of people here. My wife hired half the town.
It's unbelievable. It's just like...
I just... If you...
I don't know if you can hear it in the voice, but if you can see this, a defeated man just said that.
Yeah, people on Patreon will be able to see that you seem like you seem like
you're at the end of a deadline.
You're not going to hit.
But things are good for you, which is crazy.
But you seem like you're in the weeds on a deadline.
It's just spending all the money.
Yeah.
Call Joel. He's got the money.
Yeah. Oh, poultry club, young bird show.
Everything's a club or or or an animal event.
This is this is truly the richest, widest place in Australia.
Right. Like this is like crazy.
I'm in Johnson River and OK, the Johnson River and District Poultry Club.
Innisfil has left no stone unturned to make their Young Bird Show that is to be held on May 20th at the School of Arts.
That's going to conflict with the fucking dog show that we rescheduled.
We can't be doing a chicken, I know, because of Quinn, but we cannot be doing the chicken
show now that the dog show got moved.
The dog show, we clearly left a week in between and now we're doing the chicken and the dog show. Are you fucking kidding?
That's okay
But that's fine for me because my chicken's anus is off and I need like two weeks. Yeah, actually beautiful anus
The secretary mr. Vic Kelly and committee have contacted practically every poultry fancier and breeder in the district personally and have made contact.
I'm a poultry fancier.
What the fuck?
And have made contact with areas outside of Annisfail through other club secretaries and supporters.
There's every indication of there being well over 100 birds, which augers well for the success of the show.
It does not seem crazy to see 100 birds.
That's what this time.
You say that this really is like an 1830s.
Like, but this is 19, almost 1940.
There should be more shit going on.
I'm not saying it's
Seeing a hundred chickens not to keep bringing up the wagon thing
But this could be like a fairly this could be a backwards like this place could be isolated
Rural stop pitching car wagons behind the times
No, no time ever had a wagon on wheel on a car. Don't you think they'd have better
shit to talk about? Garrett? If they weren't, I mean, I don't know how this tight look just
so far we've got tennis dogs and it's not a telephone. I don't think it should still
tie into your wagon car theory. I'm not saying happens. I'm just saying that I'll tell you
as much. They don't have cars the way that other city they're not
driving the way the guys in London are.
Then they have full wagons.
They're not doing wagons and car hybrids.
Nobody's doing that.
Maybe Garrett.
Maybe that's the problem is that they are putting wagon wheels
on cars and they can't drive the car.
I'm going to go get my chicken salad.
I can't.
I don't know what to do.
I
I I can't, I don't even know what to do. Shhh. It's over two years since the club staged a show.
Look, they haven't had a show in two years.
That's what, one year off.
And now they're heading with a fucking dog show.
It's one year off.
They gotta go out there with the dogs.
What a disaster.
What a disaster.
This show will be welcomed by pet dealers and breeders
to exhibit their young stock.
The schedule caters for a great variety of breeds in the utility and standard classes
and the Bentham breeds in Waterfowl.
Waterfowl.
Okay.
So the sea chicken.
Chicken of the sea tuna.
Is that your wife?
No, Robbie's got a whole thing over there. So I just told you, we just saw we just saw you mute and yell.
Natalie, shut up.
That's what I yell.
Beautiful.
There's a chicken show going on out there on out there.
What you have happening in your house would be Page one news in this town.
Yes, this is going to be a week straight event. Huge.
Man overcome by wife and housecleaver.
Housekeeper and Natalie competing. Baby Briggs hundreds.
Chicken salad spoiled.
Mr. J.
Mercer, Poundsville will be the judge.
Zimmer's shared fair decisions. Sure.
Sounds like it's interesting because it sounds like
you're really small town, like stupid fucking problems.
But at the same time, we have enough evidence to suggest a thriving metropolis in terms
of just events.
Yeah, it's true.
Yes, there is a, you're right.
It has a docket, a strong docket. It's what's
on the docket that's puzzling. Yes. Yeah, that's fair. Like a concentration of really
eccentric people like farmers and maybe it's bougie farmers playing tennis, animal, animal people.
It's weird.
It's funny, too, because you're on a show called Animal Control.
I would feel like you would.
Your character would really sink his teeth into this sort of stuff.
Do you feel that?
No, no, I think I think I feel it.
I think you're conflating show premises with capitalism.
In my case, I'm just doing this show for the money.
You're an actor, right?
Yeah, I'm just an actor doing a TV show for money.
Couldn't care less what it's about.
The day you saw me on the basketball court
and called me really fat, were you acting?
No, that was about as honest as,
you know, Gareth, one thing that I think-
So it was Meisner?
One thing that you flagged for me a couple of times
is that I tend to be
too honest. You don't use who to shoot your shots. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a very
it's a very it's a like most qualities it has an up and a down. I've seen it work during
which there are times when it is a during. Yeah. Yeah. Except when it's not when you mean something
for you to play competitive sports.
Yeah. It's a lifelong complex.
Yeah. So much.
I've had honestly, dude, you haven't put on the weight since you look.
You've you've I'll find it. Yeah. I'll find it.
Maybe I'm finding I hope not.
Well, if you do call me, I'm probably not.
Oh, but you know
All right, David today in its bill only is a population of seven thousand two hundred thirty six
So it's very small
small Okay
Interesting, but it must be certain must be the surrounding areas.
It must be the country.
Yeah.
Or maybe this is them trying to stir shit up.
They're trying to grow.
May is a big time for them.
May is a big time.
We get this chicken thing going, people are going to move here.
You'll get bird shows and people are like, I got to live there.
This place is going off.
I know I'm interested. Yeah.
Yeah.
But then you get in the problem.
Wait, not so much.
Like, we can't move there.
They don't even let us figure out who's playing next.
Right.
Right.
But we have dogs and chickens.
So yeah.
But also, then you get into the problem
of the cars that waggle wheels.
So what can I actually get there?
I was going to say, that would be another.
I'm going to ask you to kind of get off of that too.
The public is reminded that at this show,
they will see young stock
of the poultry breeders of the district and outside centers on exhibition at potential
champions of the feathered world.
Oh, the feathered world.
They had to remind people at the end of what is going to happen.
Yes.
What is a chicken show? Did we go over that already?
Well you look at the beak and the little red thing.
It's like a dog show?
It's a fair question.
It can't be like a dog show.
Is it going to be the same thing?
I think the anus thing, Dave, might just be a you thing.
Dave, yeah, you've really sucked your teeth into the anus again.
I would say the anus is far more important for chickens because that's where the egg
comes from.
You guys heard of this app where guys, where gay dudes can like meet up based on pictures of their assholes?
What's the name of this thing?
What is happening right now?
Do you guys know what I'm talking about?
Uh, no.
I don't think that's real.
Oh no, it's real.
I, we were just, me and some friends were just talking about it.
I'm going to find out.
Well, there are, you'll figure that out, happens poultry shows still go on. Let me see. That's Tennessee shit right there
Hey, what's your name? We're gay dudes meet up based on pictures of buttholes
So are you asking Siri? No
I should ask chat GPT. Let me ask
chat GPT let me ask what is the name of the app where gay men can meet up and share pictures of their buttholes is this the lowest we've scared sniffies
it's sniffies I'll tell you David was until he said sniffies okay sniffies
is a stiffies is a map based app where gay, bisexual and curious men can meet up and share
pictures and other content.
It is known for its explicit nature, including the sharing of explicit photos.
Now if you go on the app, they actually-
I don't know if we need to get further into it, but okay.
So they have geo, so it's like pictures of a map and then the little icon will be, it's
like Tinder for
buttholes so like sure there'll be a picture of a guy's asshole and you'll
know it's like 20 miles away it's unbelievable it should be called bum
bull but okay how like it was like a do like did you break a sweat getting
there Gareth like do you need to do you need to lay down now because that was
like I've lostiest, hardest.
Yeah.
He's on fire.
By the way, poultry shows are basically you do chicken swapping.
You can see chickens.
It's just it is.
It's basically all chickens on display.
It's just a poultry fest.
Yeah.
But it but I guess my story compared to what Ravi just came up with.
It's really been a good.
Sniff is.
Coming in with your chicken information after the sniffies information is just like getting
lost in the woods.
We should honestly just be talking about sniffies.
Well there's just a premise of the show.
People you know what I mean?
That's the thing that's getting in the way for sure.
Well that's not how I would put it, but OK.
Where it rains stones.
Whoa.
A bright and cloudless night in the West Indies, a brilliant moon shining,
no breeze, and yet it was raining.
Not in their ordinary rain, for the drops fell on the roof of one house
and were composed of stone.
Nope.
On this particular night, I observed, uh, this is a, it says, says a writer and
answers on this particular night, I observed a crowd standing, a C what a
house, I think the shower of stones said the band I questioned as if that explained
everything and was right.
Small art objects were descending on the roof of the house.
Hail.
I could not only hear but see them as they bounded off the roof and fell in the street.
Hail.
This has got to be hail.
Oh.
Hail.
They know what hail is.
I don't think that they do because you're defending pebble rain.
Yeah.
They're using wagon wheels on cars. These guys are fucking idiots, man. No they're not. I don't think that they do because you're defending Pebble Rain. Yeah.
They're using wagon wheels on cars. These guys are fucking in there.
Not and it's just not anything.
First of all, it's the West Indies.
So it's a totally different area.
They did not do anything right.
We had a hail storm here two weeks ago.
I'm not kidding. The hail size of ice cubes.
NASA.
I see an advantage to that.
Yeah, drinks.
Yeah.
I mean, God's like, look, do you need ice?
And you're like, you're going to have a shit tonic.
Here it goes.
Crazy.
All the cars outside got damaged from the hill coming down so hard.
And then within 30 minutes of the hail storm stopping, roofing companies started coming
door to come, started coming to our houses, dude, it was crazy. And it was getting to the point for like the next 24 hours.
I couldn't even take the trash out because I was, I know,
I knew someone would see me and come solicit me about roof damage.
And then I'm not kidding, dude. Like the dudes were probably like, Hey man,
how's it going? So, uh, how crazy was that? Yeah, dude. And then I'm telling all my friends in real time. I'm like, man, how's it going? So, how crazy was that? I bet you roof.
Yeah, dude.
And then I'm telling all my friends in real time, I'm like, oh, these roofers, like, this
is like the roofing rush of 2024.
And then a week later, we had a tornado and the roofers came again.
And a week later, I walk in the house and my, Mahaly, my wife is talking to someone
and she's like, this guy's going to roof you're like no that's enough hey now we
have a new roof is that the story it's a place that you moved to on purpose the
weather is horrible okay some ringing endorsement and the people aren't that
great either okay well all well, all right.
The worst storm I've ever experienced was in Nashville.
Oh yeah.
I thought I knew what a thunderstorm was until I was in Nashville and I was like, oh my fucking
God, what's happening?
Oh, it's terrifying.
You have no idea how often in the middle of the night we have to go hide in the basement.
Because...
What?
Well, that's because of the people.
What?
Yeah, it's... the weather is terrible.
You're hiding in the basement a lot?
Dave's not wrong.
The people are fucking, yeah, dude, because the storms are crazy.
Are you sure?
One of my buddies, a guy from LA who moved here, he's the reason we picked this neighborhood,
he works for a liberal advocacy group and his house got shot up.
What?
Yes.
It's just not good.
It's just a backwards place.
Okay.
Like, Nashville attracts the angriest white people from every other part of the country.
Okay, we're not gonna-
So again, you realize that you moved there, right?
Oh, I realize that, Dave, we don't all make the best choices.
Okay, but I'm not going to.
I'm not going to let race permeate this show.
Nope.
Yeah, I don't mean to say anything, but you seem like an angry, not white guy.
If you get my meaning, very
careful, Dave and very accurate.
Dave, why don't you move here? Well, you'd fit right in. But
it's right. Dave, Dave, would you be like, Oh, fuck, here comes
Dave, you're so fucked up.
I'm really fucking pissed. I emailed them about the tennis
schedule the other day, and they won't even let me have any say.
Here we go. Gotta get a phone. have any say. Yeah, here we go.
Gotta get a phone.
You try it. Yeah, you try the phone.
The Facebook group for his neighbor. Sorry, got it.
Okay, so the man was right. Small heart objects were descending out of the roof of the house.
Not only here, but see them as they bounded off the roof and fell on the street. I pushed my way through the crowd
and pick some of them up. They were pebbles of quartz crystal
unknown. These are this is hail. It's hail. It's hail. Yeah,
what's the crowd? What is a crowd of people watching the
house? Yeah, they've never seen hail. It's just falling on the
house and a crowd of people. This
is strange. They're falling from the sky. What? It's strange crowd, but it's also just hailing.
Yeah, it sounds like it's a little tail. Still they patter down. And as I stood there, I realized
that I was watching something incredible. It was absolutely impossible, but it was happening.
Having lasted about 20 minutes, the shower cease,
not gradually lessening by a sudden stoppage.
The crowd dispersed and again, everything was gnarly.
Look, it's stone's fall from the sky for 20 minutes.
I'm not walking away as if everything's normal.
This is front page news.
See, this is fucking nuts.
This is way better than the tennis stuff, I agree.
Yes, this is like, this has got all the things.
It sounds, I mean, it's like,
could be a once in a lifetime event.
Nope.
So you guys don't like stories that are relatable.
You want the crazy stuff.
It's not about what I want.
It's just about what's typical of headlines.
Thank you, Rav.
Let's not take it personally, Dave.
I'm just saying if
Rocks are falling on a man's roof for 20 minutes
That's fucking nuts. That's newsworthy. Okay, so let me able to book a judge for a dog Let me tell you the cannot get the phone working
it was just
Like that it's hard not to Simon Dave.
No, it's very easy to move away from Dave continually.
Scientists having failed to give me an explanation of this, I was forced to ask,
can this be witchcraft?
Reverend Father Jesse, an English-born priest who spent his life in the islands and who probably knows more of obey and witchcraft than any living white man shakes his head
dubiously. He has seen the wonders of the medicine men and knows it is not beyond their
powers.
So that guy's like, I won't close the door on witches.
That's right.
Like this could easily be the witches.
Yeah, this is that's the guy you'd want to interview for this event.
That's like, it's like the State Department for warlocks.
It's not out of the realm of possibility that this could be witches.
This is totally like this would be a,
this exact same story would be on the local news today.
And that same kind of person would be the interview.
Yeah. You could see it. I could definitely see it on Instagram.
Yeah. Oh, I'm a Trump rally. Someone being like small rocks.
Quartz stones. They clearly hang out clearly hail.
Is Qu quartz valuable?
No.
Okay.
You don't want to go picking up hail.
You'd have paid for your new roof with that.
Here you go, sir.
It's not hail, Garrett.
It's quartz.
Nope.
Okay.
So we are now on page eight and the headline is what happened to it.
What happened?
What happened to it and the sub headline is tennis net not returned.
So AJ, AJ updates you on previous headlines from other
just so Tennessee, what happened to one of the East Innisfail Tennis Club Nets?
Who gives a fuck? Nobody seemed to be able to answer this question
at the meeting of delegates of the Innisfail Association.
One guy stole it.
Although it was admitted that there were a lot of demons
within the ranks of the association.
Yeah, of course, this is not beyond the realm of witchcraft.
This could easily be the same hail witch.
These delicate meanings sound excruciating.
Honestly, HOA was the right realm.
This is absolutely, this is so HOA.
Tennis HOA, tennis is HOA.
Now we know why there are different,
there's different tennis clubs,
because people are like, I can't stay
at this one, it's fucking insane.
But they're all insane.
Yeah, they're all insane.
The story relating to the meeting was this.
Someone went to the caretaker of the East Tennis Fail courts on Friday, Fortnite, and
asked for the loan of the net.
Not suspecting anything fishy and believing that he was.
So we know who took it. This guy. Yeah, this guy took it.
Yeah, the guy. Yeah, the guy asked to borrow it basically, and they let it.
And now they're like, where do you think that went?
It's we should have checked.
We should have seen who that guy was or it's a real who done net.
Can I borrow the most important thing on your court?
So this is not just my thing.
And they know this guy took it.
They let the guy.
Well, they don't know who he is back.
And then there's a separate news story about, well, the Nets been missing.
Someone stole it.
This is when you had to start leaving your license behind for stuff.
This is when that starts.
This is why.
Yeah, like for pool balls or bar or like a wagon wheel, something like that.
So important. Yeah.
No spare tire.
Not or your dog's anus.
What's happening?
Not suspecting anything fishy and believing that it was carrying out an instruction to him
that can't take a hand over the net and receive the verbal guarantee.
You return on Saturday.
That is not the net is not been returned, although
14 days have passed. The president, Mr. Rothwell, who we know, described the action as most unfair.
Mr. Johnson said the caretaker thought the person had authority to borrow the net.
In the discussion that followed, many suggestions as to what happened to the net were put forward.
in the discussion that followed many suggestions as to what happened to the network.
Oh, I have a feeling.
OK.
All of this is the best.
When one delegate mentioned that a fisherman might have got it,
he was laughed at because he was contended that a tennis net
would be no good for catching fish.
Oh, she laughed.
It's not crazy. Could work. He could catch small fish. Bullshit. But as soon as she laughed. It's not crazy. Could work.
He could catch small fish.
This is the precursor to a defunct, both a defunct fishing company and tennis club.
Oh, I love the idea.
Just as they're pulling up the tennis net like nothing again.
When are we going to catch something? This is absolutely we've got a net I
Would be so frustrated being a member of this club and then constantly fucking up easy
Yeah, we're just trying to play tennis
Why are we even doing these meetings? Is there anything here that you can do?
We don't have nets and we can't call anyone for three months
Do we have a manager? Do we want to hire a manager in this club?
It's I don't know. I don't think so, but I don't think anyone is running anything
It's just that the nets are getting stolen. The nets are gone. The nets are gone
We don't seem to be interested in keeping lists for the games. All right, look, let's just go back to this fisherman theory.
It's not crazy.
It would be no good catching fish, but those who laugh first
overlook the fact that the fisherman includes a man who
catches crabs and the net might have been converted.
Going to see the crab guy like you all have you taken in?
We're just making sure you didn't take a tennis.
I did not. Also, OK, rally for crabs.
Yeah, that's anything we're saying.
It's strange that you're not have nothing to do with this.
And rather to do with this. Rather to crash.
Okay.
This became a new story before they went out and tried to find who took the net.
They're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like,
who took the net?
Where's the fucking net?
And they're like, well, first off, got to publish this.
Like, no, what if we just try to find it? No, first, let's speculate.
And let's get it out there.
Well, now the guy who has the net is just going to be able to take off.
Now he knows he's got to flee.
Yeah.
I would imagine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't you think the guy who took the net is probably not in the town?
Like he probably came from another town to take the net.
That's a long commute for a-
No, I don't know. I don't know what the net? That's a long commute for a really penny-ton. It's hard to know.
I don't know.
I don't know what the net market was back then.
It sounds like they were scarce.
This might be the first story that I actually go
and look ahead to see what happened to the net.
I'm curious.
Yeah, we need to find another page eight.
Yeah.
But I definitely like the idea that this guy just was like,
can I borrow a net?
And they were like, yep.
And now they're like, that guy really fucked us.
Yeah. But I don't think he was going to return it.
This is totally something that would happen in L.A.
where like a homeless dude would come
try to borrow a net.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure people borrow nets out here.
And most feel as if they take off and never return it and then go fishing. I see if it's golf crime. I'm sure people borrow nets out here. And most feel as. I'm gonna go to the net and then take off and never return it.
And then go fishing.
I see if it's golf crime, I'm listening.
Golf crime is one of the best, but that's a different paper.
It's actually called golf crime.
Right, oh yeah, wait a minute.
Beautifying Streets.
Distributed, are we doing the last one here, Dave?
What do you think?
This could be the last one.
Native Flores sought at Wednesday night's monthly meeting
at the Unesville Chamber of Commerce, the secretary, Mr. Jay, said that he had sent
a letter in the following terms to Dr. Flecker of CUR. In cooperation with the Johnston Shire
Council for some time past, this chamber has had under consideration a
scheme for the beautification of many thoroughfares of the town of Innisfil, including the esplanades
and the many roads leading into the town by planting a suitable decorative palms. At a
recent conference of members of the chamber of the council, the question arose as to the
type of home best.
I mean, this.
It should be pointed out that the coconut is not native to Australia. OK.
I'm going to move on.
OK, sorry, right.
By the way, sounds like an argument.
Why there's a whole town now.
Here we go. Toads in town.
Toads in town.
Let's party.
Back to our core.
Where are the?
Yeah.
The animal.
There are those.
Oh, maybe that's what happened when that people
use them to get the toad.
Don't try.
There are those who think the toad has forsaken the country
for the town.
Attribute to Darenky would soon dispel such thoughts
as from dusk to daylight, the area is literally
teeming with them.
Recently when plowing in a heavy crop of beans, it was noticed that two was thickly infested
with toads, proving that they are where they are meant to be. That plowing of beans must have just been such a toad genocide
before he realized he was like, Jesus Christ.
It really is.
So the story is that toads are where they're supposed to be.
That's the story.
Yeah.
It's important to report on that.
You could do that with a lot of things, probably.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot.
Most things. I would think.
We see a stream site was witnessed.
Like you're not supposed to be a Nashville.
I was saying, I just, I just, I just can't imagine being a freelancer at this
newspaper, just all the pitches that get shot down.
Well, you're probably, you're probably like, look, there was a murder.
And I think it was the sister and the wife were in cahoots
because they were together.
Yeah, was it over time?
That's a great story, Garrett.
Unfortunately, I'm going to have to bump you.
For what?
What's?
Yeah, I've got a story about a woman found yarn.
Yeah.
I think my neighbor Nancy thinks there might be fruit flies
in her kitchen.
Fruit flies, can you believe it?
So recently a strange sight was witnessed in a swampy creek. An eel about 20 inches in length
was found dead with a toad also dead lodged in its throat. Evidently, each was the victim of the other, but one wonders whether the eel died of poison or suffocation.
It's like a Romeo and Juliet, but eel and toad.
So that's a perfect example.
Whoever that one is that was wondering then
went to the newspaper and said, you're not going to do it
happen.
Here's what I'm wondering.
Come on.
And then he's like, well, it's just very interesting.
The toad, you're used to the toad dying,
but the eel choked on the toad,
which I think is pretty crazy.
Well, I was going to write about this murder, but.
Well, look, we're tied up for like the first eight
or nine pages, but after that we open up.
I think you could fit in right at the end there.
Boss, they're playing tokens.
Wow, it's fucking big. The toads are where they're supposed to be.
I like this.
Clarence, keep them coming.
Yeah, I like you. You've got a good fucking nose for this, you guys.
You got Roxy.
You got a future.
Oh my God.
Well, there we go, Ruv. You've done the Past Times podcast.
A pea break, a chicken salad,
four yellings at people who are in your house
that maybe don't belong there later.
You're getting a new roof.
My wife texted me back,
it wasn't Natalie, it was Amy and Christina.
You yelled shut up to the wrong people.
Yeah, yeah, there's too many people.
How was I supposed to know which one it was? Yeah, that's not a good question. Amy and Christina. You yelled shut up to the wrong people.
Yeah. Yeah. I just, there's too many people.
How was I supposed to know which one I was?
Yeah, that's not a good one.
Well, thank you for, what are they doing?
It's just because you had a baby.
They're getting paid. I don't know.
There's so many.
You need to keep working forever.
Well, you're on animal control.
Yeah.
No, we don't pay. What's your Instagram? Ruff too? Just so
people know. Wait, what? There's this not a page? No, go
ahead. No. UOS $500. My Instagram, at show me the
Ruvvy. Show me the Ruvvy. Well, thank you for joining us,
Ruvvy. This is really fun.
I will show you that I will never be fat again.
Yeah, Dave.
Nice finally meeting you, man.
Gareth, I love you, buddy.
Nice to meet you.
It's good to see you guys.
I love you, buddy.
All right, later, boys.
All right, everybody.
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