The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 79 - The Past Times with Bill Wayne Davis

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are once again joined by comedian Billy Wayne Davis Redbubble Merch   Rocket Money

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Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com. That's rocketmoney.com. Rocketmoney.com. All right, everybody. Welcome to the Past Times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. The great Billy Wayne Davis.

Hey, guys. Hey. Billy Wayne Davis. Hey, guys. Hey. Billy Wayne Davis. It's good to be here, Gary. It is good to be here. I just was so respectful with your name twice. I'm from, I'm a hillbilly. And then you come at me with great disrespect. I'm a hillbilly and you're very nice and I don't trust that.

So that is. That's right. It is. It's that in being boastful. We should point out. They don't let us do that in the first place. I'm a hillbilly. I'm a hillbilly.

I'm a hillbilly. I'm a hillbilly. I'm a hillbilly. I'm a hillbilly. I'm a hillbilly. I'm a hillbilly. I'm a hillbilly. I'm a hillbilly. I'm a hillbilly. and you're very nice and I don't trust that so that is That's right. It is it's that in we should point out I don't let us do that and it is it is tough for the entertainment Business if you were raised as a ability because you know, yeah What's it like being a hillbilly in the entertainment business?

If you're not a cartoon character, they do not like it. They do not know what to do with it. They're just like, oh, this bastard thinks he's better than us. A lot of that. You're on the road a lot doing your comedy stylings, right, Billy? Sure. I sure am. Where can people go find your dates? What's your website? Let's plug that. BWDtour.com, because someone bought BillyWayneDavis.com a long time ago.

It was me. Shut up. It was me. I would be much more successful than I am. They sat on it and I was like, all right, man, I don't have the money to give you that. Have you had contact with them where they are trying to get you to buy it from them? No, but I have watched the price go down over the years, which is... Hell yeah.

...kinda funny. I mean, thank God I'm a comedian and I'm like, that's funny. But if I was trying to do anything serious, I'd be like, I should probably quit doing this. Great. Well, welcome back for your second appearance. Yes. This is two, okay. So this is the one where we decide if there's a third. So this is kind of the big one. You'll go to producers after this.

And you're starting out in the hole because of the Hillbilly thing. This is, yeah. You didn't have to say it. But that's your life. That's your life. That's your, that's everything. I don's your life. That's your that's everything. I don't love that. You're drinking from a jug with three X's on it either. Yeah, that's that's

Brands it's medicine time and I either take it or I don't that's okay. All right. It's fair Well, I don't know if we've changed it since your last year, but now we guess what year the paper's from, Billy. So I'll guess first and then you'll guess. As our guest, you'll go second. Because you're a hillbilly, I think Dave's going to try to hit you with some relatable stuff, and I would estimate that that would come around 1880. I would estimate that that would come around 1880. I resent that you're probably correct about that. So, here's another problem with what you said.

It's not something that I would give, I'm like, it's not a defensive angle I'm going to take. We're in the guessing portion, but okay. It is. You're right. It could be from the 1880s, which is something that we would be like that wheelhouse, hillbilly wheelhouse. Or it could be from the 1980s and sound like the 1880s. So that is a huge issue that we're facing here. It was like, well, where's

this from? Like the 1800s? No, this is 1996. And you're like, that is. Yeah. Well, so what's it going to be, Billy? I'm going to go 1980. You're going to go 1880. I think we were both we're both covering our bases here Oh you dropped out for a minute so that was cryptic. What was your guess? Yeah 1980. 1980? 1980. I remember. Amazingly you are both equally off. So at the middle. It's 1893. I'm closer. Yeah, that's... No, I don't think so.

He does this. This is like... It's pretty split down the middle. I just... I wish that I had more confidence in my math because I'm just... Sure. ... side with either of you. Did you go to a public school?

Sure. Did you go to a math academy? Jared, you go to a public school? Sure. Did you go to a math academy? Jareth, you went to a public school? Don't be rude. I went to a math academy. I went to space camp. I went to a private-

That's in Alabama, so be careful. I went to a private school, so I am clearly the more intelligent of the three of us. Okay, all right. And I graduated 196 out of 198 one of those girls was hit by a bus and didn't finish the year Why did they kill they still they still I guess they you know, cuz she got halfway through the year I guess but they counted her so there's really only one person who finished behind there was a diploma given to someone. It's like a

Game I don't know what they did with her. I just remember she for a while. She was on campus She was on campus, but in the late a lay down now wheelchair but in a lay down wheelchair. I know. You guys are going to go on. A lay down wheelchair situation. Well, it's like a joke is so horrific that we hope it's real.

It's totally real. It's better that someone made this a real decision in life than you're joking about it. That's where we're at in life. She still wouldn't go to prom with me. OK, she physically couldn't. Well, she could have done other stuff. Oh, right.

It's getting worse. You should literally start reading now. Don't try to say another thing. Just let him go. Just get out of his way. It is August 20th, 1893. I think the, I think the mailman's here. So it's going to be a little bit of barking.

These Atlantic City Sunday Press. Okay. Already. Nope. Already Atlantic City. I don't know if he's ever been there. Can't wait to see the news. Great town.

Just even, even TikToks about Atlantic City. You're like, well, that's the saddest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, it is funny that they made a place and they're like, what if Vegas was sad? And you're like, whoa. And you're like, doesn't that Vegas? They're like, no. You never left sad for Vegas?

I don't think you did it right. I don't think you. Yeah. There is no, in America, there is no more terrifying one block walk than the one block walk off Broadway. Uh, the Walker, no, the waiters hop. The iron pier will present a scene of life and enjoyment tomorrow night. The Black Waiters of the various large hotels have secured this place on which to give a grand hop. Waiters?

I'm not going to comment on anything you just said because you said Black Waiters and I was like, I'm out. I'm not allowed to. And I, and I substituted the actual term they used but Is that right? It was well because it back then it was colored right? It became yeah, so so They're gonna have a big dance. Okay. Sure, and they have to put in that they're black girls white people might go Okay, sure. And they have to put in that they're black

or else white people might go. Fine music will be rendered by a good orchestra and the light- Wait, hold on. Can I ask, is that for the black people so white people don't show up? Because that would- I'm sure they're not gonna be heartbroken, yeah. That's what I mean.

I think they put that in there so if it's for black people, they're like, the white people know this is for us so they don't Fuck up the day my light it up my impression of papers back then was that I'm being very white I know what you're gonna say. Yes, but if there's white people they don't say they're white. They only say they're people That's correct People are just people that is sadly correct. White people are just people. That is sadly correct, that is. Yeah, yeah. Fine music will be rendered by a good orchestra

and the light fantastic toe will be tripped to the owner's heart's content. The scene will not be enjoyed by the black people alone as these hops are always a source of much enjoyment to the white people. Oh wow. I'm wrong. As is evidenced by the number who go to the excursion house when the black excursion are there.

The tickets are 25 cents. Wow, I was wrong. Okay. All right, so we've got some, I guess because people like to dance, some slight integration, which I mean is- They, they also don't trust it so far. I do not from, from what I've read about history, I do not trust that they're like, no, it's cool.

There's going to be some white people there. And what are they going to be doing? Yeah. Well, it certainly changes the vibe. Yes. It's definitely not as comfortable, not as fun. No, It's like when your dad was like, we'll go to the R-rated movie together. It's not that kid that can sing peeking in the windows. Yeah, it's not that. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, there's a lot of side eye going on, a lot of glaring, a lot of staring, a lot of, are you really going

to dance with her? Well, it's great that white people probably showed up to the black person dance, like, there's a lot of blacks here. Well, yeah, that was the whole idea. Don't love it. A grand cake walk. Okay, sure. Okay. I'm back in.

Yeah. Yeah, this should not have any race issues. Oh, no should be, this should not be, have any race issues. Oh no. Oh God, why did I say that? Where the cake, cake, cake? The wives wanted to do some hatin' too. The grandest cake walk ever given in the state of New Jersey will be the one which will take on the iron pier on Friday night.

It's exciting. It's a yeah, you're really just just write the sentence that there's going to be a big cakewalk. You don't have to do the. And just wait a cakewalk is it's just a walk with a cake no I can explain this okay cakewalk is basically easy it is basically like it's like musical chairs you don't remove the chair and then whoever and they call you walk around and then you stand and whatever thing and then they call oh whoever's standing in our 48 you're like that's me and you're

like cool you got a you got a cake good job so okay sounds ridiculous obviously sounds so so there's no internet so know, but even with no internet, it still sounds a little like, I wouldn't, I don't know how, okay, so it's just kind of random cake giveaways? Yeah, well, everyone bakes a cake. Right. Or makes a cake. They bring it to the function.

Okay. And then everyone pays money to how many times you, how many songs you you listen to and then you can win a cake or You don't win a cake and you have to exist over all right raise money. I have a question you brought a cake So why do you care about when I just eat the cake you made? Yeah? Bring the kid bring your cake eat your cake. Yeah, listen This is before radio, mostly. We know, I know, I know, but I even think some magazines, I think,

Sure, but there was bingo. Because God would eat, when you die, you go to the hot place. So, this is, that's still nice. Yeah, but it's still, it it's still even within those confinements of this terrible, boring time, I still am like, of all the activities, this one seems the weirdest.

And why do we call it Cakewalk so easy? So, if I'm understanding this correctly. I remember being seven or eight and doing it at a harvest festival one time and being like, oh, this is dumb. And that's because you're walking to a place with a cake in your hands saying, man, I hope I win a cake. And it doesn't sound that easy.

Like we always say it's gonna be a cake walk But that actually sounds no absurd. It's not at all a cake walk. It sounds very hard How did Kate not get to be in a circle if that part maybe yeah, but you had to bring a cake that no You don't take one. You had all you have to do Are you getting the cake there? You don't have to the cake, the cake walk is for anyone at the festival. It's how ladies or men, I'm not judging,

but mostly ladies if we're being honest, bake the cakes. And then that's how they would, and then people would be like, I hope I get to, I hope I get Miss Shirley's coconut pie. And then they put $5 in there. It's crazy. Just get her goddamn recipe. Just get her recipe. That's what I'd say.

Get her recipe. I agree. I have issues and nose. It's for the damn kids, Gareth. I really, I just can't believe we didn't do this out west because it sounds so- It is wild. It didn't catch on and then just spread out there. That's wild

All right, so we have a cake walk Okay Great preparations for the event are being made and it promises to be something out of the ordinary a mammoth cake has been ordered Big and will be on exhibition this week. Now see, that, well, if someone is winning that big cake, I get it. If we're just going to a cake walk and we see a big cake, silly. Well people like, people back then, and still today, like I went to the last time I went

to the Museum of Modern Art, there was a giant hat. People like big things. They like to look at- That's not an offense. The last time I went to the Museum of Modern Art, there was a giant hat. People like big things. They like to look at... It's not an offense. People like... I was in Sacramento last week and at the airport there's a giant rabbit. So...

See? And... See? No idea. No idea. No explanation. It's not a rabbit. It's not known for rabbits.

No. Uh-uh. Okay. Nope. No. Uh-uh. Okay. Nope. All right. The people who attend will witness some marching, which they will never forget. That's, is that, is that statement made a gun point?

Which they will never forget, you understand? You'll remember this march for the rest of your life. I've had some marching, but this, this is special. This is what we're doing. By the way, yeah, yeah. It's the 1890s. There's a lot of marching, but this one I won't forget. Yeah.

I will never forget what we're doing here. This is in fucking step. And there's a big cake. This is the best day of my life. Guys, we have like some guy shouted at someone else like, we will never forget this. The enjoyment they will obtain will repay them for the investment of 25 cents for a ticket.

Ah, this was so worth it. No, I bet that was really- I bet there's, them just saying that in the paper invited people at that thing to be like, like now this ain't worth 25 cents. Yeah No, it's a big game. That's a lot of money for back now. Yeah Yeah, it's a lot of money today still Don't know I'm trying to relate. I mean you don't have to say something to every 25 cents a lot of money Yes, how like you say like Twitter right now. Oh be something to everything. 25 cents is a lot of money. You say like Twitter right now, right?

Oh, be nice to the forward 25 cents. I wish I could complain about 25 cents, Bree. You're just like, everyone shut up. In your quarter tower. I bet you live in an arcade. Isn't that what the name of Twitter should be changed to, is everyone shut up? Everyone shut up.

Isn't he floating out there now that we might go back to Twitter? And he's- What? I saw he put up a poll or something where he's like- He's struggling, you guys. He went from being like, fuck that guy, to being like, are you okay?

To being like, I don't know. We're like, I hate you, but I am worried about you. It is that guy at high school where you're like, man, you're a dick, but it feels like you're drowning a little bit. I feel like we're gonna nip a shooting in the butt if we just sit down and talk to you a little bit. Like you're coming back with a rifle, right?

Like you're that guy. He is someone, he's like, I wanna be a cool guy. People are like, it's not all it's cracked up to be and then Cool guy he's like I can't do it. Everyone wants different stuff Here's a headline for garris, uh police cat dick I Mean I do keep an eye on it. I wouldn't say I police it. Well, you should police it a lot. Okay, so this is a cop detective?

Because if we're talking cop detective, if we're talking cop cat detective, I think that's what it is. Well, let's see. Well, I'm talking movie. And on account, an account of the big fire would be incomplete without giving the whereabouts of police cat dick. They, okay. This first sentence doesn't help with what we're saying.

The way they put words together in this newspaper is frustrating. Yeah, it is. And it's also, they're just trying to make it real clear that they don't know that Dick in the future will mean penis. It might now, honestly. And this person is being heavy-handed with it.

Dick is capitalized, I should also say, as it should always be. Yeah. Is it like a surname? Well, this much heard of cat rushed from the burning building and secured lodging in the adjacent firehouse. Dick feels the loss. It still sounds like metaphors. It still sounds like metaphors. I get what it is now. It is a cat who lives in the police house and the cat is named Dick. Oh, they named the cat Dick. And they needed just a little more space

to cover in the newspaper. And one dude was like, I got it. Yeah, I got it. Yeah. Don't worry. I had had it. You hear about the cat named Dick? Just they're hammer drunk. Yeah, hammer drunk in the news house. Yeah, just like it

Do you know hey you guys know there's a cat named dick in the police station They can't you heard about the cops dick cap Who we were at police pussy dick? Oh, yeah, we got it Got pussy dick I'm not a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop.

I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop.

I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. So apparently the police house burned down.

No, no. Police cat dick. There we go. Yeah. Print it. Print it. We nailed it. You ding bats.

Okay, so the police house burned down apparently and the cat ran next door. So Dick feels the loss of his home badly. He sadly wanders through the ruins daily. Oh, fuck me. I can't believe I got depressed. Yeah, of course you did. That's sad. Well, he's fine. He lived. It's just a fucking. He's fine. He lived.

Define living. He's sad. He's in the house next door. He may just. Did you read the article? He's in the house next door. Hey, man Did you make the article he could be like he could be like a serial killer and he's just going back every day Look at his work and he's like, yeah, come on. Uh-huh. Maybe the cat started the fire. Maybe Nick started the fire Cats are killing machines. That is what they are here for This one just knows arson. So we'm giving him more credit than you cat lover. I'm the cat lover.

I'm like, yeah, this cat started a fire and killed some cops. I don't think I'm talking to two guys who would be upset if a cat started a cop fire. I mean, that'd be fine with that. Okay. Now we're back. This is what patrolmen say. When you say cop fire, are you saying the cat just sent a cop on fire? No, i'm saying the cat was part of a cat a cat

a cat What happened there? It's nothing. It's hard to edit. Do you do you want to edit this episode? No If we want to edit the episode i've got some notes from earlier Okay Everything was fine If we want to edit the episode, I've got some notes from earlier. Okay. Everything was fine. No, I think we're doing great. Okay. All right.

I mean, so what your point is, is that women who have a severe injury should not be able to have any sort of sexual. Dave, we're not looking to add cuts. It's just very able is what you're saying. No, don't do that. God, don't. That is the worst. Such an easy one. I know. Just send your social media on fire when you do that. What should be prohibited? I know what it should be. Gareth Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow savings.

Yeah, I'm going to say yes, I have done this. I have found subscriptions that I made, that my child made. Walk us through some of those, Dave, slowly. Well, there was a, I don't want to say which, because these can be an advertiser, but let's just say there was an old advertiser toothbrush that was a subscription thing that I just kept getting a subscription for,

and I couldn't figure out what card it was on, or there was no account for it, and I just kept getting things, and I was like, oh, they're sending them for free, and then I found out, no, that's on a credit card. That actually, that might explain some stuff on my end too at this point. I also saved 300 bucks. I also saved 300 bucks on my internet.

I also realized that you'd been stealing money from me for the past eight years. Yeah. And then I had rocket money and then it showed me your house. I was able to do like a Google Maps search and it went to your house. So I'd like to sidebar about that one. I'd leave that one. So you can see all your subscriptions in one place and see if there's anything you don't want and Rocket Money can help you cancel it with just a few taps.

Rocket Money will even try to negotiate your lower bills for you by up to 20%. And Rocket Money has over five million users and has saved a total of 500 million and cancelled subscriptions saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps features Which I use I use all of the features. Okay, I highly recommend it I mean I say much money and also you just you know company shouldn't be making money off of stuff You're not using which is I you probably know, I travel a lot. A ton. Always on the road, always staying in places, and if I ever get to choose for myself, I

always choose Airbnb over a hotel. It's just better, it's more like a home. A lot of times I will book Airbnb even if like a club will book me a home or whatever, but recently I was at a hotel and someone walked into my room because they'd been given the key to my room as well and I was like, yeah, it's not a great idea. So I ended up leaving that hotel and got an Airbnb for the night because there's also a little bit of security in it.

Anyway, so look, I also recently started thinking like while I'm gone, can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes, it can be as easy as putting your place up, then you make a little more money on the side, just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money

to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Ground oyster shells may be a good substitute for gravel as pavement, but it should not be considered a proper material for Atlantic Avenue. Who is this rebuttal is like, nobody said the first part of this. He's like, look, think of these people talking about

oyster walkways. Well, back then they did use oyster shells for roads. Yeah, sure. I don't think that's true. Yeah, it is. They ground them up. Made the cakewalk hard. There were oyster shells, like centuries old piles of oyster shells everywhere when when the white man came and So that was the thing

Say now you and we also and then we also killed All the oysters so millions and millions of new oyster shells were there were just oyster shells all over this was on dollop episode 461 It was on it was on a dollops. Yeah, I don't remember which number. The oyster. Oyster wars. I think it was called, was it oyster wars? Oysterous.

Oysters. It would look all right probably for a country town, but for Atlantic City, we should have something better. Yeah, easy. I gotta say. This would work in the city Billy Wayne Davis is from, but not for beautiful Atlantic City. I'm not from a city.

That was very nice. That was so nice of you. For wonderful mistake you made. What would you call where you're from? A town. It's a town. A snake tank? No, there are snakes though.

How many people lived in your town? In the town or like the whole county? Cause the county is like this huge town. Let's say county. Let's say county. Well, let's say town first. Town first. The town I would say like probably,

I didn't live in town of course. I lived outside of town. And I would say town probably has five to 10,000 people and then the whole county probably has 30,000 people. So then where were you from? You were outside of town? What would you call where you were from? A community.

Oh my God, I can't. I think he's just naming. It's gonna keep, but I wasn't a part of the community. No, I was part of that community. We were part of a shed Near the crick Yeah, I mean, I don't know what this it was like an incorporation is it okay yeah Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's right So your high school was small then it was for the whole county. So it was it was

in Because we were in 5a like the biggest so we had to play against like the biggest high school. Oh, yeah Good Lord because we had like numbers but just know it was like well we're gonna get destroyed every time Yeah, because it's a you know, you were playing city teams were like it's like they have black people. This is Be a cake so there were no black they were that were there any black people in your school There were by the time I got to high school. They were like two and I'm not making this up I'm not making this up. I'm not making this up.

One of them was blind. Oh my God. Anybody laying down in a wheelchair? And he and I, you know, thought it was funny, and everyone else didn't get the joke, and I was like, y'all, this is like, the one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Oh my God.

And I can't quite make it funny on stage cause people are like, that's horrific. And you're like, kind of. Yeah, yeah. Nobody's gonna enjoy that. No one's ever gonna enjoy that. No, cause it is like, where are you from? And you're like, just from this century,

from these times. Yeah. Can you see why I was like, I wanna leave? Pretty quick. Yeah, for sure. Gotta go see yeah. Yeah, yeah, because yeah Because they didn't get the blind black guy jokes. So you wanted out of there? It's amazing how this started out with my story of high school and maybe you sound worse at this point It's certainly a competition. I didn't do any of it. I didn't do any of it.

But Dave, I think, I think you've had me born and raised there and being like, hey, does anyone else not notice how crazy this is? And you know, the blind black guy was like, I do. I notice it too. You're like, we're not raising hands, put your hand down. Yeah. Okay, so on Wednesday, a carload of foul smelling oyster shells was dumped in a hole in front of City Hall. It created a considerable comment by visitors who's passed that point at the time.

If gravel would not answer, sorry they doubled that. If gravel would not answer the purpose, then broken stone should have been used. Save us from oyster shell streets. So a bunch of oyster shells got dumped and the people of Atlantic City feel like they're better than oyster shells. Yeah, City feel like they're better than oyster shells. Yeah, I think that they're probably... Or this reported us.

I think they're probably... I have a question before that. Go ahead. No one's gonna... There's just a hole in front of City Hall. Mm-hmm. The City Hall. Yes, the City Hall hole.

And no one was concerned about just the hole there. They were just like, hey, don't we're not oyster hole people. Watch out. Oh, yeah. So they skipped a whole step for me to be like, why is there a fucking hole there? You guys, they skipped the whole step and they're like, hey, don't put that in our hole. We're not.

This is Atlantic City. You can't put anything you want in the holes here. Yeah. You like that hole. Which is not true. You can't get in there. It's true. Actually, now I believe it's the city's slogan.

That is the slogan. In the city town. Anything goes in our holes. What's that Maria Bamford line? Atlantic City. Don't walk alone. Uh, after enjoying a wine dinner at Emig's on Tuesday, two men left without settling the bill. The waiter followed them a short distance when the men told him to return as they would come back and settle later on and they never came back

Is this the first time that someone walked out on a tab? Well, it's funny cuz they didn't run out they literally just They were like we will come back and pay later. He's like thank God. I thought you'd forgotten whoo See you when you're ready to pay. Ha ha. Pfft. That's, oh, quite a, these guys go from like town to town. This town also doesn't know about ditching the bill.

We'll be back to pay. Oh, okay. Look forward to it. It's just so unheard of that you can just get up and walk out and you just know. Yeah, you just, again, the advantage of firsts. Well, they must have forgotten. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's like, remember when we were younger, you could, you would pay your gas after you pumped your gas. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Which now seems, seems insane. Like an insane thing.

You definitely could see now how we're like the nefariousness of us as a culture. That's one of the things that I love about doing like stuff on history because you're just like, this is the first time a guy counterfeited bills or the first time a guy was like, God lives in this box. I'll sell it to you. Like you can just do all these fantastical things for money before people are like, wait a minute, you mean that man wasn't really a walking bank? Oh, I bought all his notes.

Yeah, it's pretty crazy. Yeah, or just like the first guy was like, I'm talking to a spirit and you're like, you are? Whoa. Well, I mean, cryptocurrency is a current thing that's happening right now. Cryptocurrency, yeah. You're not off on that. There's a little more dubiousness with some, but yeah, there still are pockets for sure

where you can be like this. I like when they sold real estate on the internet. Where you can just invent just an infinite space, but you know, I'm going to sell this space. You're like, well, that's not, I don't. That was a great, that was one where I was like, look, I don't, I'm not ahead of the curve on a lot of stuff, but this one seems real dumb. Yes.

That's where I get most of my property. Oh, sorry, buddy. Dave is an NFT, by the way. NFT is by far the worst of all. NFTs were way worse than anything that's happened. It was so clearly the dumbest shit ever. Immediately when it came out, you were like, no, that's not. This unicorn painting is yours.

You're like, but other people could still get a PDF? Well, yeah, but this belongs to you. Well, all right, cool. Okay. Mine. Okay. You know what doesn't belong to you anymore? Your money. That's cool.

Yeah. Your money's an NFT for me. Poison Ivy is considered less poisonous when the sun is shining on it, while at night or in shadow it is especially dangerous. Not at all true. Billy, you're from a county that had a town in the shed, right? That's not true. Poison Ivy.

It's going to get you no matter when you touch it. Yep. Jesus Christ. I love this guy. Whoever this was doing the study though, was like, I'll tell you, it's been really hard having to get poison ivy this much to see when it's effective. After masturbating, poison ivy doesn't hurt as much.

When you argue with your wife, poison ivy won't itch you as bad. It does itch inside you, if you put it inside you though. So quick update, if you put it in your bum, it's really the worst one. So don't fall ass first into poison ivy. God, I like just, I mean, I would say that this is like, oh, back then they're just making science up,

like they're not doing it today. But it is also like, just to say, yeah, no, Poison Ivy's worse during nighttime. Yeah. Couldn't you imagine seeing this headline today? This story could come out today. You'd be like, oh, okay, there they are. Well, all you gotta do is say-

Kind of picture of Fauci. Just study shows Just study shows. Study shows. Yes, study shows. Yep. You just put that in front of anything everywhere. I read the headline and it says that, you know, you can mainline sugar.

It's cool. Well, no, it wouldn't even be that read the headline. They'd be like, I actually read this study recently. Yeah. Yeah. So, you read a study. Have you ever read what you've tried to read a study? Yeah, that's the follow up question.

Where did you get the study? Where did you get it? Well, what journal? I have an NFT of a study. I have a study from the Jimmy Dore show. Yeah. You mean the library? This is the best headline ever. Indian pig sticking.

Oh, fuck. One who says it is the finest sport. One man who says it is the finest sport in the world. That's the guy. Can I ask for a definition? Sure. Well, first of all, it's not it's not American native people are talking about. It is, it is, there's the next headline, how the wild boars of the jungles of India and Northern Africa are hunted by enthusiastic sportsmen of other countries. It's a bit of danger. Just cut to Donald Trump Jr. Yeah.

So this is people coming in. Yeah. This is, this is rich people coming in to hunt pigs. Right. Here's the thing. rich people coming in to hunt pigs. Here's the thing, I'm not against this. Wild boars, they are an actual nightmare. If you're doing it, and if it's rich people doing it with spears and sticks, I am bailed to watch that because they are not trained, that is a lot of accidents and you've got to really,

that's something I could be into watching in a streaming. How great would it be if one day Donald Trump Jr. goes to some enclosed place in Africa to hunt whatever, a lion or something, only to realize a really rich guy paid a lot of money to hunt Donald Trump Jr. So good. And he's like, huh? That is the idea. And you can still call it a pig, pig hunting. You can still call it pig hunting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still hunting a pig. I just think anyone that can pull that off is already loaded out of their mind because they're just, they have a gift. That is, if you can pull that off. Yeah, I agree. I was, I was already CEO of some psychopath company.

We're like, listen, I did. And you're like, yeah, that was good. I lived on Kauai for like, I don't know, six months or something once. And I'm a guy that I knew, who he was from Arkansas and he was like a surfer and he was like 50, but then one day he's like, oh, I gotta go, I just got a call to kill a pig. And I was like, what?

And people would call him up because he was really good with a crossbow and if there was a boar on their land, he would go kill it. And at first I was like, well, that's kind of crazy. And then the day that I was walking down the street, and then I look up and there's, I'd say a four foot high boar standing there. And I was like, well, that's not today.

The tusks, did it have the tusks? It did have the tusks and I moved very quickly. Those are unforgiving tusks. Those tusks are unforgiving. Whenever you run into a boar, okay, what you do is you go, Hakuna Matata. I don't think that works anymore.

Yeah, and then nine times out of 10, the boar is gonna join you in a song about how you don't need to worry about stuff anymore. That's not what you need to do. Oh, okay. Would you like to go on a tour of Texas with me, Gareth? I'd like to film this. Absolutely. As I'm just getting tusked by a boar, I'm like, Hakuna, Hakuna, Hakuna Matata.

Billy, why are you still the jeep? Why are you still the jeep, Billy? It's a better shot. You look better from up here. You look better on this. Hakuna, my heart's gone. Hakuna, my heart's gone. Oh, that one speaks English.

It doesn't know what you're saying. OK, so as an ardent pig sticker, I may be forgiven. Jesus Christ. That could that could mean so many things. Big stuff. I'd sit some. The honestly redneck dudes would be like, oh, you lost?

I may be forgiven for advancing the opinion that it is the finest sport in the world. By pigsticking. Now that's also crazy. By pigsticking, of course, I mean pigsticking as it is practiced in India and Northern Africa and perhaps some other English colonies, riding down the pig on horseback and dispatching him with spears.

So it's like- The second it sounded like they were riding the pig, but no, they ride horseback, then they see the pig, and then they start throwing spears at it. Yeah. Which is a slower, more painful way to kill the pig as opposed to if you shot. Yes.

Sure. But gosh, is it more fun? But it's the finest sport. No, but it's the finest sport. The nicest sport. Yeah. I mean, try to name a more finer sport. Good luck.

Whaling. Whaling is, I love watching. Imagine watching like the wailing championship. This is brutal to watch. We're like, we're like, Brazil's got a hell of a team this year. But yeah, everyone ends up like, it won't die. We're like 10. This is the worst. God, I don't want to watch this.

Why do we have to watch it every year? It was so magnificent before we did this. Your grandfather was a whale sticker. Argentina's looking pretty good this year. They had a great draft. Well we're laughing at this but in 10 years it's gonna be an Olympic sport. Yeah it's not crazy. So the Indian pig varies naturally according to his home. The biggest I have ever seen were in the Vindaha Vindaha mountains where I used to shoot them as food for my beaters.

That got weird. You bring back some hog for us to beat with? Easy boys, easy. Here you are. Here's some bacon. Here's some whack bacon. I got tendonitis in my shoulders and then I hired some men to beat my wife. So now I got to feed them.

Jesus Christ, I mean it's. I thought we were doing fucked up stuff. I'm sorry. Oh yeah, a beater in hunting is a person who drives game out of areas by covering, by cover, by swinging sticks or flags. That's a fucking really tough role to have. That is. Yeah.

All right, well I'll go with the pigs live without a weapon and just sort of rustle them up for the big rich boys. Hey, hey Larry, won't you go up there and wrestle the pigs out because I don't want the dogs to get hurt. Absolutely, right back boss. Hakuna, oh my God. Absolutely. Right back, boss. Hakuna- Oh my god. A peculiarity of the wild pig is the straightness of his tail as compared with the curl-dependage of his domestic brother.

Yeah. Yeah. So nobody cares. Right. They're the same. It's not a domestic brother. They're the same animal. Yeah, but they've been- It's just playing the tail. They've been out in the wild forever.

Did you read the study? I did not get that tweet. I did not. So you've, Billy, you've never seen Babe, the movie. I've seen Babe, the documentary, yes. About that documentary. And you think that's a bore? Yes.

Yes, I do. Remember in the credits when they started putting the sticks through, Babe? That seemed unnecessary. That's sag rules, dude. Sorry. He shot over 20 days. That's Sag rules, dude. Sorry. He's shot over 20 days.

We have to kill him. Wait, what? Sag's got like a Bible of rules. Yeah, Sag is messed up. We're weird. I don't really protect actors. I really don't protect pigs. No, pigs, yeah. Shoot them out fast.

Pig sticking usually begins around Christmas week when the giant vegetation of the rains has died down sufficiently to get at Piggy. And the marshy ground where he lives is firm enough for horses, but it is not till the end of February that a really good pig sticking begins. Ah, this is real bad. As the weather gets drier and hotter. Crikey. Until June when the rains come and pig sticking instantly ceases. Just

meaning they can't ride their horses around because it's too muddy. You can't just say there's mud and then there's not mud. Yeah. About 6 a.m. after a light breakfast, the sportsmen set out usually in tum tums to the meet, having set their spears and horses on ahead over, okay, so they don't, so they're essentially being, I thought they're like rickshaws, right? So they're essentially. Oh, so they're just being brought out.

So their spears and horses are sent ahead it's like big game hunting but yeah right yeah it is I know a dude in yeah I know a bear guide in Alaska yeah he's like he's like I do everything and we just basically just like truck them out and then set everything up and then they come in and pull the trigger. Wow. What a sport. That's just so fucking bad. But there's the cost.

It costs so much money to do it up there. It's like crazy. It's also, it's a ton of money just to get up there but it's also a ton of money to get a bear license, shooting license. Yeah, so they do it, it's like, and when you look into it, it is conserving everything and actually protecting everything.

But it is, he's what makes him laugh. He's like, I could never afford to do this. But he's like, I'm very good at it because I was raised to do it and all that. And he's like, so now this is how I make money. It's weird. Yeah, there you are. All right, Brad, pull the trigger.

Wow, that is it. I mean, Brad, pull the trigger. Wow. That is it. I mean, I am man. Hear me roar. He's my off season. He's like tracking them. You know what I mean? He's a rare all around without a gun and stuff. You're right. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah.

My cousin up in Idaho takes people bear hunting sometimes, but they just go out and it'll be like a week, it'll come back and be like, yeah, we didn't get a bear. That's the way, that's the honest hunt. Yeah. Yeah, they're really way better at this than us. To be fair though, for three of those days, we were blackout drunk in the same campsite.

So no, there could have been bears around us, but we do not remember those three days. Yeah. Okay. So they send their spears and horses on ahead overnight together with the all important mess Tiffin basket in which a huge block of ice and innumerable soda water bottles and beer bottles figure largely. So Billy not wrong. This is the chest. This is this is how rich people go through the world. Like a bunch of guys bring everything they need way out there. Yeah, they get taken out like a fucking you know, carried on a

rickshaw on a carriage and then and then everything ready for them, and they drink beer and shoot at pigs. But someone else beats out of the bushes. Yeah, some poor guy's like, all right, I'll go to the hard part. And if I'm being completely honest, everything you said sounds awesome. That's good. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I'm just saying, it's like they're not killing zebras and stuff. It's like, at least they're out there like, you know what I mean? I don't have a problem with killing boars because I do think they're a total fucking nightmare. But then I do have a problem with like this or like the way Ted Nugent does it, which is he shoots them in the helicopters. But I'm just saying if you describe that to me it, which is he shoots from the helicopters. Totally, yes.

But I'm just saying, if you describe that to me, like hey, would you like to go in like, you know, nice Jeeps and out to do this and then we shoot some, like you can shoot boars from a helicopter in Texas. Yeah. And I really wanna do that. I'm just gonna say it. See, here's what I think.

When it comes to hunting. I don't know what it says about me as a human being, but I am being honest about it, because he was awesome. You hear that a lot, where people are like, oh yeah, you hear it a lot where people are like, yeah deer are invasive, and I'm like, sure. There's, listen, of course.

We really should be hunting the most invasive species, which is humans. And it's time we start, if we start doing that a lot more, then I'm like, all right. Like if we start. So the competition, the competition has changed. Is this brought to us by Raytheon now? Cause that is what you're, that is.

I'm not hunting the, we're not hunting the poor in my version, we're hunting the wealthy Well, no, because it started with me. Nice meat. The best kind. Making inappropriate comments about a about a woman who was in a wheelchair situation. And then Billy went to my made fun of my my blind black blonde friend in school.

And now you're saying we should kill human beings. Yes, I believe we should be hunting rich people. The most invasive of all species. The most damaging to our environment. Now you sound like a Putin fan because he is hunting the richest people in this country. All right. There you go. I'm listening.

So, I mean, the guy's basically a centaur at this point. He's always on horseback with no shirt with pants that match the horse. Well, I do that. I do that. Yeah. And let's just imagine that's called living in Hollywood. Yeah. Come on. By the way, like, I'll tell you what, what better way to celebrate your oligarchy than to have a bunch of people show up to play a hockey game with you and they let You win by like scoring nine goals. That's my kind of like that's the kind of Emperor I want to be there But you know how? Everyone's small they'll do a thing

Well, they'll be like hey if they say not to guys who have warrants like hey you won money or whatever come down and pick It up and the guys go down But shouldn't we if we're doing this, we should do it with rich people. Be like, hey, there's gonna be a giant party for Bill Gates. And then they all come and then release the gas. Or just be like, yeah, yes, yes. I'd see this, I'm like way more on board with. It's for gas.

It's totally for gas. Some guy goes down and like rustles like the hors d'oeuvres. So the rich people are like, ooh, it's time to eat. Get them clothes. Yeah, then guy goes down and like rustles like the hors d'oeuvres. So the rich people like, oh, it's time to eat. Get them clothes. Yeah. Then dynamite. It's just a yacht show is all you need. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. There's many ways to slice it. Yeah.

It may have been different in old times, but polo is a formidable rival to pigsticking sticking nowadays and the ordinary British subaltern can rarely afford time and money for both. Indeed, from my own experience I should say the average field was not above five and personally I much prefer, except from the social point of view, very few companions. Sure. This literally goes on forever. This guy is really making a case. Yeah, it's really I'll just do the last paragraph We'll see he's making the case that it's not a lot of dudes

That is better The bed, but it's like better than polo But it's like better than polo? He's saying those are the two for the rich. Those are the two main sports, polo and pigsticking or big game hunting or whatever this is. If you're like, polo is the one you're trying to compete. Yeah, you're probably going to beat polo. I hope so. Yeah.

Like pigsticking is better than polo. I saw my first polo game the other day. What? I was driving through Santa Barbara and there's a polo field. I've seen that. And they were playing polo. Really crazy that that's a thing. To me though, I went to college in Kentucky where they do horse racing all over and polo to me makes more sense than

horse racing. The first time I saw it, because I was like, at least they're using the horses over and over again and they're playing and there's men on there and all that. And it's like, it's kind of a thing. Both of it's dumb, but it's just because like, yeah, but it's the same as it's the same as like rednecks and race cars. It's just because of, yeah. But it's the same as, it's the same as like Rednecks and race cars. It's just the modern version, racing.

Yeah, okay. The race cars are the modern version for that, so. I can see that. It's just so stupid though. Have you ever played polo on a four wheeler? That's pretty fun. That sounds fun. That I like.

That's pretty fun. That I like. You gotta have two people. You can't do it with one person. Right, right, right. It's dangerous. That's how the girl I went to high school with got injured. Jesus Christ.

In Bombay, a long spear is needed and the boar is stuck by an underhand thrust. In Eastern Bengal, a jabbing spear is used and is more deadly, I think. Of course, it is unlawful to stick sows. They cannot fight well having no tushes. I mean, well, look, we learned a lot. I didn't know it was going to end with a no tushes. Obviously, no tushes is hammered. Whoever is riding is just saying long. It's long. It's just saying. It's long.

It's long, it's all over the place. And he's like, you know, you can't kill those because they don't have good asses. And you're just like, sure, dude, sure. Yeah, whatever. He looks like a bartender. And you're like, stop giving him booze. Some people do it overhand.

I'll have another old fashioned. No, you will not, sir. I met a man in India and he was a member of the rustler. That's a very important role. Oh God. We get some more of the free cocktail peanuts. So you've got underhand thrusters and overhand jabberies. You send we're going to have to ask you to leave. I don't know if you're jabbing me or what but I don't like it. I am I wasn't and I now am trying to bang you. And if you want when I do jab you later this evening I can do an underhand thrust like the Benglis, or I could do an underhand poking.

Hmm. Go on. I'm done with my pitch. Psh. Sometimes they just have a little fact in the corner because they ran out of stories. It is a bird that is sausage and a slice of bread and butter

compose the Prince of Wales breakfast five mornings out of six. By the way, that probably hasn't changed. Those fucking weirdos. I get Prince Charles, King Charles, probably with growing up in the monarchy, growing up as rich as he is, one of the richest men on earth, I'll bet you most days for breakfast, he's like, I'll have some toast and an egg. With a little ketchup.

Thank you, Steve. Just how the people are. A novel parrot for sale. Oh shit. A novel parrot. I rode on the road. Rack! A novel parrot processing, according to the advertisement, powers of mimicry and vocabulary of 50 words is for sale in London, but no gentleman need apply.

The precocious fowl is destined to pass into the keeping of a woman or never to change its owner. Why? This parrot is only for women. Why? Well, James Payne suggests that the bird may have hung in a drawing room where for a long time it has listened to the after-dinner talk of ladies who now fear a betrayal of their secrets. What the fuck?

This is crazy. What was that? This is one of those weirdo stories. Now it makes sense before I was worried, but now this makes total sense. They don't want to kill it, but only ladies. Ladies, I don't got anything to say. This is just that. Anytime like women talk shit about men and I want to defend men, I just think of stuff like this where you're like, you know what?

Yeah. I roll over all the time. It doesn't take much for me to roll over. Well, it's just, they're right. Most of, I would say. Sometimes women will be like, settle down. I'll be like, nah, it's just, they're so bad. It's, that is, can you imagine just being like,

ah, this parrot, she only wants a woman to have it. And you're like, is it cause it's got woman's have it and you're like, "'Cause it's got woman secrets." And you're like. Yeah, you just start treating this weird London parrot like a lady oracle. What else are they doing? Blood comes out of their genitals. Oh, come on, now he's making a folk again.

It is that thing of like why I don't get so much more done than I want to is because I would hear someone say, yeah, this parrot keeps women's secrets. And I'd be like, I should ignore what you just said and go on about my day, but I need to know more about what you just said. Do you have a study on this? It's like, what do you think women's secrets that this parrot holds? Like, what do you know? Who knows, dude?

Who knows? And this parrot's not going to be able to relate to a man. This parrot, this parrot. Like, I feel like they're like, this parrot is a lady parrot. It's like, not just repeating 50 words. What about just buying the parrot and taking it to your buddies and being like, this one knows all the secrets. All right.

What is the clit? What is the clit, bird? Dresses. God damn, just keep saying dresses. Trying to find out where that clue is. Two sporty girls. Oh boy. Under the Boardwalk presents some queer sights and when Officer Comley's attention was called

to the actions of two boys, apparently about 15 years of age, with two girls much older, he concluded to arrest the girls, which he did. They were given a hearing yesterday morning. At the hearing, they gave their names as Sadie Hassett of Philadelphia and Irene Collins of Riverton, New Jersey. Officer Conley testified that he had seen the two girls on several occasions the past week, and one morning he found them asleep under the boardwalk at 4 a.m. On Friday he again met them on the boardwalk, attired in bathing robes. They were accompanied by two boys, and their antics attracted considerable attention.

His attention was next called to them while they were under the boardwalk. He then made the arrest. In their own behalf, the girls testified they were in no way disorderly, as the boys were only rubbing the sand off their limbs. Oh, Christ. Wow. They jerk off guys on the beach. Wow. No, no. You get sand down there and it's tough to get it off by yourself.

But they might be just lying about there being any sand at all. I love it. This is like, if you're 15 and you go to Atlantic City, this is like what you're after. Yeah. But you're right. I mean, Billy, Billy, you're making the point to never fuck on a beach, 100%. It is. I learned that lesson about 15.

Yeah, we all did. We didn't fuck. We didn't fuck, we all did. We didn't fuck, but we did touch and then the next day, you're like, this is not fun. This is terrible. Yeah, man, your thing's on the outside. Yeah.

Imagine her. The fucking thing. This is really terrible. He's telling you. You don't know mine's on the outside. I know exactly what your penis is like. How dare you? I know exactly the full...

Hold on, if we're going to sit here and I'm going to have Billy tell me I don't know the folds of his penis, I'm going to lead to my death. I know what he knows the folds of your penis better. I know everything about... That's why I got the penis parrot. I know everything about it. I knew I should have trusted that. I read in form, yeah.

I read in form the recorder that she was married and Sadie caused the court to be convulsed with laughter when she replied that she had an imitation husband. What? I don't know what that means. It's like spam, the man? They further stated that their husbands worked in one of the beach front beer gardens. There's a lot going on here that we're not getting.

Yeah, it's like, just stick to the story. My husband's a robot. Recorder Lienem and Sergeant Leeds called on the husbands of the two girls and they said they'd been married about six weeks. They promptly gave the recorder enough money to pay their car fare home, saying they were glad to get rid of them. The two girls were sent home yesterday morning. Jesus.

They were, does it, it sounds like there might've been some sex work going on maybe? I don't know. Or were they just having a good time? Were they just having a good time on the beach? I don't know, but I don't think the boys were just getting sand off of their limbs. They were absolutely not.

But I do think that's a great way to frame it if you're ever caught like having an affair. I'm just trying to get some sand off her limbs. Yes. She said there's some dust. There's some loose dirt. She's got some sand. She was at the beach.

She said she was going to get toweled off. You said you came up here to get toweled off. There was a lint in her. She's made of lint and sand. I don't even know who she is. By the way, you're back early. All right, should we do a... I do think...

Yeah, CapperDiff, yeah. I don't... I feel like that cop probably wanted to get some sand dusted off too. Yeah. And the women were like, no. And then they're like, that's the first rule of. You know there's still some sand on you where the boys didn't get it. Yeah. And then they were like, no we're good.

And they're like, oh you're under arrest. Because that's, you know what I'm saying? Now you're under arrest. You're under arrest for letting a boy get the sand off the limb and not taking an officer's bribe to get some more sand off of you. under arrest. You're under arrest for letting a boy get the sand off the limb and not taking an officer's bribe to get some more sand off of you. It is. So.

Okay, last one. Many doubt the tale. Norton's Strange Rescue from the Briny Deep. The Strange Adventures of A.O. Norton of New Haven, Connecticut, which had been published in all the newspapers past week, is received with incredulity, incredulity, yeah, by many who have read the story.

Norton was rescued from under the ocean pier on Thursday night in a dazed condition. I was just getting sand off myself. Ha ha ha. After being taken to City Hall, he told a somewhat remarkable story of his adventure. He said Norton left. Yeah, go ahead.

What? Why are they taking him to City Hall? It's just... I think because they said he was in a day's condition, so they took him there probably for legal reasons, I would think, because this is, you know, you're not allowed to just, this is, uh, you know, you can't be a vagabond back in these days. So he's probably arrested or, you know, taken into custody. Okay.

We'll get back. I was just, put him in the hole. Yeah, put him in the hole. Let's not say jail or something else. It's like, hey, take care of the mayor. See what the, let him see what the mayor can do. Well,, hey, take to the mayor. See what the mayor can do. Well, he's gotta fight the mayor. You know the rules of Atlantic City 1893. So Norton, this is his story.

Norton left New Haven in a small boat two weeks ago. After being out a short time, he was kidnapped by supposed pirates who robbed him. We're not really pirates, but you can call us that. He drifted around until his boat was capsized and he floated around on a plank. He struck the pier on Thursday and was rescued. The tale as unfolded by him bears a sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Like, wow, what magical land have I landed upon? Look at Atlantic City, oh fuck, this place sucks. No. Those ladies jacking that dude off? Hey, those grown women are jerking off boys.

Ha ha ha ha ha. He struck the pier on Thursday and was rescued. The tale as unfolded by him bears a similarity to the dime novel stories, but Norton claims that it is all true and that he can verify it all. You can't verify anything. They can't. No, they can't.

I got the pirates' home address. We'll call them. Here you go. Here's testimony from the, let's suppose it pirates. And here's a napkin where I wrote most of this on this morning. And you'll see all the details. If I didn't drift around on a plank, then what's this plank doing here? Yeah.

You know what it's like? It's like, whatever. I love like when, if you're in the CIA or the FBI and they will be like, they'll consider that if they left a meeting and wrote it down evidence. It's like, yeah, all right. Wait, what? They're like, well, I wrote it down right after.

So pretty clear that this happened. It's like, what if you were just a liar who wrote it down? I'm not sure I think what you're saying is possible, sir. I'm wearing a suit. Nope. Yeah, so come on. I'm dressed like the men in black and I have a suit. Nope. Yeah. So come on. I'm dressed like the men in black and I have a journal.

It's a moleskin. It doesn't lie. Yeah. Come on. After receiving money from home, he secured new clothing and took the train home yesterday morning. His parents report that he has been missing from home for two weeks. The public can either accept his story as true

or remain in doubt until some new development prove it true beyond shadow. That's everything that's in the paper has that last caveat. Yeah. Yeah. You could either choose to believe it or not believe it. Okay. Yeah. No, I understand how this works. Being a human. His only proof is that he left home two weeks ago

and his parents like, they don't know where he was They just got in the fucking and I met some pirates The only part of his story that seems to check out is the ending with the woman jacking off the children We have a rare fire part of this we have verified that part of his story Yeah We have verified that part of his story. Yeah. The boys had a lot of sand on their penises, officer. Have you ever heard of a towel? Anyway. Well, that's what I call my mouth.

There we go. Well, Billy, we've reached the end of the pastimes. You've completed your second appearance and I have good news. We'd like to invite you back. Anytime we want to talk about the past and then sadly reflect it, not a whole lot has changed. No. No.

Atlantic City got worse. I was going to say, I think you can get more than a handjob underneath the pier in Atlantic City now, so It's called a sand job. Oh, yeah, let's just keep it straight. Good lord. All right, we got that Billy You have you have a couple of podcasts now, what's your podcast? No, the grass one the pot one's gone. You're done with the poem. I Well, it's the dude I was doing it with has been in cannabis for his whole adult life and that's how good that industry is doing right now that the government got involved is he's out. He's out.

It's awesome because for so long, everybody wanted pot and everybody loved pot and everybody who was opposed to it told you that it couldn't happen. And then the second that you could make a lot of money from it, the real good guys came in and they just opened a bunch of huge warehouses on large acres. It's awesome. Yeah. And it's not good pot too. It's really great.

And the pot's getting worse and the pot is suffering and the original growers who know how to do it, they've been iced out. So like everything in capitalism? Yeah. They've been doing it for a long time under the threat of arrest. Yes. That's great. That's great. Yeah, it's cool. But yeah, I do have a new podcast coming out. It's called Anything But Comedy, where I just talk to all my funny friends. I talk to all my funny friends about anything, but we can't talk about comedy and Because that that space has been covered in podcasting. Yeah, I don't think that's true, but we'll figure it out

Well, Billy. Thank you as always. You're a pleasure. Your sweater says grass and grass a delight of a human Love you guys. All right, Billy. God bless. God bless and never again. Some of these days, you'll miss me, honey. Some of these days. All right, everybody.

So listen, as you probably know, I travel a lot. A ton. Always on the road. Always staying in places. And I travel a lot. I travel a lot. I travel a lot. I travel a lot.

I travel a lot. I travel a lot. I travel a lot. I travel a lot. I travel a lot. I travel a lot. I travel a lot. I travel a lot. I you probably know, I travel a lot, a ton, always on the road, always staying in places. And if I ever get to choose for myself, I always choose Airbnb over a hotel.

It's just better. It's more like a home. A lot of times I will book Airbnb even if like a club will book me a home or whatever. But recently I was at a hotel and someone walked into my room because they'd been given the key to my room as well and I was like yeah it's not a great idea so I ended up leaving that hotel and got an Airbnb for the night because there's also a little bit of security in it anyway so look I also recently started thinking like while I'm gone can I turn my place into

an Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up, then you make a little more money on the side, just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.