The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 8 - The Dolphin
Episode Date: June 16, 2014Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds discuss dolphin "researcher" John C Lilly.Tour DatesSources Dollop MerchPatreon...
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girl what is that that's a really catchy song that's uh that's the dollops open
that's really good the dollop is pretty but mmm girl. Sheeniqua was popular up
until like 1998 and then it isn't really used anymore. The name yeah that's true
yeah some of the facts I picked up on the internet while researching for the dollop.
Oh good yeah I'm glad you found yourself. It has nothing to do with this story but sometimes we'll do a dollop dollop. Yeah sure this is a dollop within the dollop.
And Sheeniqua Sheeniqua's popularity died down around 96 was good because my
favorite thing I've ever heard was walking on the street in Brooklyn and
there's two young African-American gentlemen walking past me and one goes
man Sheeniqua's got some big big titties and I just started laughing on the
street because she did yeah I'm sure yeah okay so this episode is titled you're
excited I am excited yeah this episode I'm gonna call doll I'm gonna call this
one dolphin oh wow I mean yeah where's your mind go wow I'm genuinely worried
because it just seems limitless yeah it could be people who fuck dolphins it
could be people who use dolphins to fuck right how come it's just about fucking
I don't know I think it's I just that's where I'm going right away I'm going
there by the way if you enjoy us follow us on Twitter at the dollop and on
Facebook we have a dollop page and please leave a review on iTunes now onto
dolphin dr. John C. Lilly graduated with a medical degree from the University of
Pennsylvania in 1942 she was not popular she was not popular then he trained in
and then later after World War II he trained in psychoanalysis and began
researching the physical structure of the brain and consciousness okay so all
very it's all very good very well and good gentlemen is I'm not worried yeah
no you shouldn't be no no why would you be this guy is not worried he's a doc
he's a doctor in 1953 Lilly began a job studying neurophysiology with the US
Public Health Service Commission office corp so he gets a government not a
problem grant he's he's working following the trajectory yep he's helping out the
the United States of America good man he was good at his job he invented the
first method for taking electrical recordings from the brains of an
anesthetized animals so he did that and so you could put it it was the kind you
could put on a television monitor you could watch the brain waves moving
across so that's he did that that's the first guy that's big on ones that are
unanesthetized yeah the other guy like hey man so I'm not sure why I'm not
sure why that's something you want hey let's not put this one out so so he did
that so big deal then he gets a job at the National Institute of Mental Health
okay and with another guy he invented the isolation tank okay what is that
exactly did you ever see altered states no so isolation tanks are tanks that you
basically they're usually saltwater and you like get in them that's so weird I
didn't know that I had my internet on but I just got a message said several dead
oh great and then and then the new story went away good well but we assume it's
a shooting because it's it's Sunday in America because everything felt good so
it's time to throw a wet blanket on it people are dying hey nine dead news in
Vegas yeah so it's a little hot in here right it's hot are we okay I'm fine
okay so it's an isolation tank is like it's it's a tank that you you climb into
and then you close a door so you're completely in darkness okay and you
just float and it's supposed to change your consciousness in some way like this
you know is it crazy that I want to do that now yeah but it also to me sounds
like total bullshit yeah it's like a why don't you call it night bath like it's
just like it I'll buy your night bath how much for your night bath so he did that
and he was super into his isolation tank and then the 60s came along
slippery slope and people enjoyed drugs in the 60s there was a it was a time of
consciousness expanding yeah well too much sometimes Lily was one of the
early pioneers of using lsd inside the isolation tank so let me just it's important
I think yeah for me to tell you when I feel the turn I feel the turn right now
it seems like it might go wrong well here's what I know so far dolphin is
what we're titling this acid water it's there's starting to be a map but it's
gonna go so much worse than you could ever imagine so he took massive doses of
lsd okay just sat in a tub all the time while getting paid by the government
ah he was hoping to this is it he was hoping to reprogram his mental circuits
toward enlightenment but he also had migraines so he thought that the lsd
would cure the migraines sure they do but it didn't he kept taking he kept
getting migraines taking acid and then getting in the tubs and sitting there
for hours and it just wasn't helping it just I don't know why it just wasn't
helping what was it working for I don't know there is a tub and acid right yeah
yeah I feel like that should be working and so he decided with a friend another
fellow doctor and researcher dr. Einreich that they should start taking
ketamine okay okay so I mean you follow the oh yes there's definitely it's look
like I said we're in the spiral we're going down the drain the first time
actually he says it cured his migraines because he the first time he got in the
tub the guy shot him up with ketamine and and he said that his my girl went
there for 20 minutes and then it came back and then he shot him up with more
ketamine and eventually he shot him up with just like like enough ketamine to
kill 70 elephants so on one particular day and right injecting himself with
some k wow we're already came at yeah with Lilly observing and this began a
strange odyssey into the primal archetype regions of the psyche unbeknownst to
dr. Lilly and right had reprogram reprogrammed himself to return to the
pre-hominated origins of man and right in this program altered state displayed
all the typical features movements and sounds of an ape man hopping around in
a crouched position grunting growling ranting and howling gestulating and
shaking frantically his arms good trip bro yeah yeah I just reset my mind to the
hominid yeah so what are you just like to point out these are doctors doing
research well I think at this point they might no longer be doctors they don't
necessarily have to take it away from you but I'm willing to say no more Lily
assumed that and I was having some sort of seizure but that's not what was
happening no Lily he's just reprogrammed himself in and right's mind he was
fighting a leopard so it all makes sense look most I'm all every time I've seen a
seizure I'm like that'll be they might just be fighting a leopard see where
this goes yeah but they're just shaking on the ground no no no that looks like a
leopard fight to me if I've ever seen one finally and right climbed up into a
tree and stared down at his friend and colleague from the branches above I
should add it's not a real tree they were still in the lab so somehow he climbed
up something in the lab but she's calling it a tree and it's like
shitting I think shitting in his hand he climbed hey how you doing how's your
headache okay that's what was made into the movie altered states okay just so in
the movie altered states like it ends with a guy like like he's changed himself
in the tub who made altered states William Hurt is in it okay man and he's
like he like bangs one hand on a hallway and right back in himself and then he
bangs it on the other side of the hallway and he turns it into some
gelatinous like pre man thing and then he bangs on there and that's like the end
of the movie I think really really they left it open for a sequel in other words
super real but it was really popular people were like is that what happens in
tubs okay so from this experience they drew three conclusions no I did too first
one's internal reality could differ radically from external reality fair
point a man second the person might remain active physically in the external
environment right that makes so he's running around yep and third one could
remain totally oblivious to this disparity that's the dangerous one of
course I am and for ketamine is fucking you sound ridiculous should be more K
that'd be great given these conditions Lillian and right agreed that it'd be
good idea at all times to have a safety man monitor in the experiment you know
what there would be other conclusions to fully draw like that sentence could
end with to go their separate ways forever oh god and then Lily had an
almost fatal experience surprising right yeah she probably figure you probably
climbed a building that was actually a drawer okay so it's weird that that the
combination of ketamine and a hot tub might lead to some sort of issues yeah
well as we've learned hot tubs better for gold so he got into one of his tubs
and he realized it was too hot right so he's like I'm kind of cooking so he
tried to get up and get out but that's when he realized he could use his muscles
anymore so he just fell down face down in the tub okay okay I mean not okay but
okay but I loved it like they just said previously they're gonna have a
monitor and then he does this without a lifeguard just some chick with a red just
looking the other way with binoculars but I love it why would you ever take
ketamine and get into a tub look like worst ideas terrible idea you have too
many beers you don't go swimming check the temp how is he getting in the tub is
he fully cannonballing him he would get in and then he would shoot himself yeah
but when you're getting in part of you touches at first he was like oh this hot
hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot shot oh it's too hot shit now at that exact
moment another friend of his called and said he had to speak to immediately so
his wife went over to the tub and found him lying face down and she revived him
with mouth-to-mouth which he had just learned a couple days earlier by
reading about in the National Enquirer there's like red flags being placed on
red flags here yeah but because Lily survived and and because of the phone
call and the National Enquirer he figured oh yeah he figured that he's being
watched over by higher power I mean listen there's a lot of crazy things if
I went through this I'd be like maybe yeah there is a right right well he
doesn't think it's got he thinks it's aliens well maybe there is an alien so he
called them echo earth coincidence control office wow that's crazy he's
working for the government what is it earth coincidence control office wow he
believed no matter what happened echo would be there to guide him safe through
through the tunnel to the light he wrote men in black right he said so many of
his things turn into movies I think yeah but echo was also there to test him
right sure such as one evening he he took a shot of K while he was sitting around
watching TV as one does just you know what I'm gonna watch a dragnet so I might
as well shoot up probably do a little K watch dragnet and then after he took the
K an alien representative echo showed up okay and are you sure bloodlessly
removed his penis I'm sorry bloodlessly removed his penis you said that like I'm
going to go to the store and then nonchalantly handed it to him oh so an
alien now this happens yeah this is science yeah an alien came an echo
representative took off his dick without any blood hand it to him right was like
here you go bro hey and so doctor by the way I don't work for echo I'm just a
weird alien I actually do an alien prank show you're on it will you sign this it's
a release release we can use your image so dr. Lily yelled to his wife who was
upstairs they've cut off my penis so so you're so you're a lady sitting upstairs
and you're thinking I'm too bad oh god when is he gonna get his shit together
and then he just yells they cut off my dick he's like oh fuck me good god but I
have it in my hand it's okay not bleeding and bloodlessly so Tony his
wife went downstairs probably a little worried and pointed out to John that his
penis was still intact so it was still there okay so which is weird right well
yeah he took a right well he looked at it closely he inspected it and that's
when he saw that the extraterrestrial had replaced his normal human penis wow
with a mechanical version that can become voluntary erect when he wanted it
to bionic dick hey remember when bloodlessly removing the dick was the
weird so now he's got a robot penis right he could basically command to get
I mean come on he fucked his wife right oh my god that'd be great if he
pretended after that he couldn't get it up this happens to all robotic penises
they just break oh I don't have the remote an hour later after the effects of
k-war off Lily found his normal human penis in place of the mechanical one
exactly where it had always been right so but that all happened right obviously
that all happened and yeah what a roller coaster he went on with his penis that
night dear dear diary here's a woozy get ready I'm gonna be the next Philip K
dick
Tom Cruise stars ass my penis it's gone what are you talking about it's right
there this is a mechanical one I can make hard when I need to 20th century
fox presents oh god now during all this he's working for the government and he
was studying the brain right that was your week on Charlie good good you pretty
weird actually had an odd one on Sunday I did
shockingly he'd gain the respect of the scientific community and then at some
point he became interested in dolphins
partial partly his interest came from floating around for hours in salt water
on drugs right yeah that'll do it basically he was a smart drug addict
thinking oh I'm a dolphin oh boy he said in an interview I found from 1983 he
said one day while I was floating in the tank at mi and the fact that this is
happening yeah he's doing drugs and floating around in a fucking tank at a
government research all right so we've given you your next six months money we
like everything you're doing with the K tank one day while I was floating in the
tank at mi mh I thought gee wouldn't it be great to do this for 24 hours a day
when I mentioned this to a friend he said well try the dolphins so that's how I
started to work with dolphins science wait his friends said try the dolphins
yeah and he was like okay I'm gonna try the dolphins all right that makes sense
all right those are scientists talking to each other scientists try the dolphins
well they have a good life try the dolphins so he began experimenting on
dolphins why not that what about an octopus try the striped bass
um dog break dogs on you dog is like hello father he began experimenting on
dolphins with the idea that he get man and dolphin to speak to each other well
listen I'm on board I'm on board yeah he did he actually did it changed away
people he's the guy who changed the way people looked at dolphins he put out a
book in 1961 called man and the dolphin and it was the first book to claim that
dolphins displayed complex emotions that they were capable of controlling anger
and that like humans they they trembled when being heard you know they did all
that shit he called them our cognitive equals so he's the guy who fucking broke
that shit open all right so there's so there's good yeah he did that this is
this is what they call a pregnant pause we're about to have a baby aren't we
Lily speculated that they were capable of a form of form of telepathy that was
the key to understanding extraterrestrial communication so yeah as
scientists he looked at the dolphins yeah and he said they talk funny yeah
clearly they can talk to each other with their brains and this will help us talk
to aliens the last part last part that time it used all this like aliens a plus b equals 9 right bingo he
also believed they could teach us to live in outer space without gravity well
finally we're getting making sense again and he proposed that they could be trained
to serve the Navy as glorified seeing eyes so he basically why the net he
basically had a bunch of crazy fucking ideas and then he went okay how can I
make money and he went to the Navy and went hey we can use these things that's
why he went at the Navy game a bunch of money Jesus even though he was clearly
added he sat in meeting with we all the talk to aliens yeah and they help us
float in space and they care they use telepathy also by the way you can use
them to see stuff far away and help you out with that start a little small talk
to you know I just had my dick taken off bloodlessly I don't want to be all
business anyway let's get into the fact that dolphins are the key do floating in
space moving on oh yes the government's like we got to give money it's crazy
enough to be totally valid so dolphin point laboratory whoa was on DPL DPL hot
was on the island of st. Thomas in the Caribbean sea okay first he started
giving lsd to the dolphins what the fuck
wow you got to be really sure of yourself when you're fucking putting
acid on a dolphin it's one thing to dose a guy at a party yeah that you can then
say hey you've been dosed yeah yeah to dose a really intelligent being that you
can't tell you dosed it hey man you took acid you can't tell that to a fucking
dolphin oh my god oh my god this guy you try the dolphins really should have
just been his tongue like I was so regretting this yeah oh why did I try
the dolphins the dolphin just comes back with like a headband and a drum
stick hey man sick trip got any more paper hey man I think I went to Venus
okay so the reason he was giving him lsd is because he wanted to he figured would
get them to help talk to us right they would they'd be like hey man I like how
this all comes from rat poison opening up the galaxy okay this is a transcript
from him being interviewed at a conference oh boy we gave a hundred
a milligram dose to a 400 pound dolphin there was about a 50% increase in the
respiration rate at the beginning and then a four times increase in the rate
at the peak of the effect at the same time the heart rate up went up 20% the
animal was stranded he was out of the water
wait wait yeah are you seeing anything there's a problem at the end are you
seeing what's that what's the problem so he's taking dolphin can you can you
figure out why his heart rate went up I think it's cuz he wasn't in water
could you imagine imagine so we're grabbing you and shoving you in a pool
hey giving you you know he actually we found some really interesting things with
gareth he was a his heart rate increased he was having trouble breathing he was
really freaking out again he was drowning that dolphins just replaying
where it swam over it's like if I just swam a little more to the right he
wouldn't have gotten me so this is the quote this animal was stranded he was
out of water this is something which causes dolphins a great deal of distress
yeah in other words they are in a continuous state of anxiety when they're
out of the water we found out later that there were pressure point lesions which
they get when they were taken out of water so he's saying when you take
something that exists in water it floats and then you just put it on the
ground it's body as problems bodies like what is this contact this constant
contact to something here's your acid and we found out later that when you
take a floaty and put it on a hard thing that it goes squishy squish also we
just realized if you spike a baby like a football some of its bones will break
so we have more money the baby's paying us for this if you shoot a bear in the
back of the head it'll die still still is still quoting him we ran careful
controls changing the second setting putting an animal in a small tank with
another animal putting it in a small tank with shallow water alone putting in a
very large tank where it had complete so they were just dosing dolphins and
throwing them in like shallow water and with another dolphin and like in deep
water and the whole time the dolphins are going like no matter what they put
them in the reaction was
oh my god these fucking poor dolphins all right give a little more acid and
good doesn't seem happy seems worried we had one dolphin we had received two
and a half years ago in this particular instance this dot dolphin have been
shot with a speargun three times through the tail before we we got it so it
thought that life sucked so we got one with PTSD we thought this will be a
good one to give acid to unknowingly also we were open to grocery store with a
bunch of Vietnam veterans and gave them and come on down have you seen the movie
Jacob's ladder it doesn't end well no imagine if that was your mind and you're
a dolphin you're not aware of what anything is here we go okay so after it
happened she would not come near human beings at all I don't know maybe it is
weird so this dolphin they've been there for a while and they've given it acid
obviously which hasn't got acid yet this she they just brought her in oh she
wouldn't go near humans oh so they thought you know it'll make her friendly
to humans a little bit of acid a little bit of LSD let's doze this bitch in our
pool she would stay far away from anybody that was there if you tried to
approach her she would shoot away from you she acted like this for two years we
decided to use her as one of our controls using LSD as the LSD effect came on
40 minutes after the injection the dolphin came over to me and shouted
kill me she had not approached me before she stayed in the tank with one eye out
of the water looking at me in the eye for ten minutes without moving this was a
completely new behavior
because she doesn't know what anything is anymore because she's a dolphin she's
really worried on acid so she swam over to you looking at you going are you
kelp what is happening
kelp I need some care help camp I mean so he's like well this is very interesting
huh he's writing down stuff
looking at me strangely wouldn't come near me for years give it a little bit of
acid make it stares at me like I meet okay so what he realized is that the
LSD LSD didn't work because they weren't talking
whoa no point has a really high bar
these dolphins are just they're not working with it's not gonna happen
it's just gonna keep giving dolphins acid until one of them's like hey man can
you stop playing Jefferson Starship all the time is that cool hey the one as a
dolphin the one thing that I learned is that I don't like the doors man
could you stop could you stop
oh so he then created the experiment that lost him all creditability with the
scientific I mean the excitement you know but here's the thing up until this
point I mean all the shit that he's been doing yeah they've been doing that with
humans like in the 60s it was just fucking insane yeah mental hospitals were
fucking crazy they the shit they did to people was nuts yeah so this is like
standard what you did to people and anything else like you just you just
fucked with shit like that was like yeah they would just be like let's let's let off an atom bomb just to see what it does so he
actually did an experiment that made the scientific community rejected which is
pretty so this is this is the one this is a real humdinger I'm excited the one
thing he knew about working with dolphins was that you should and I quote get in
the tank with them make friends with them and maybe maybe they will put up with
it for a little bit longer whatever you're doing okay unless I think you
get massed in the product hey what happened before we don't have a
connection anymore you teach me how to use a gun so in 1965 his newest
experiment involved a woman living with a dolphin for 10 weeks you the odd
couple theme the dolphins picking up a cigar with the umbrella like oh boy
Lillia decided ten weeks was the maximum a dolphin and a human get lived
together that's my favorite yeah that's just so you know what I get my graph
chart here yeah it's about 10 weeks because one time I saw the number 10 on
a bathroom stall that's how that works let's give this fish drugs the dolphin
house was flooded with water and redesigned for a specific purpose to
allow the human and the dolphin to live sleep eat wash and play intimately
together oh I should add that later Lily said 1965 was the year he quote no
longer regarded the scientific viewpoint of total objectivity as the be all an
end all kind of important to science and I'm out let's get a dolphin and a
chick a shack up hey you know what I just realized nothing means anything so I'm
gonna have this woman live with a dolphin that's also the dolphin like
I mean really think of the doll I know the dolphin like ten weeks it's got to
just live with a woman and take acid no they're not taking acid oh they're just
living not taking acid they're just living together it's just it's just
living together he was like let's make an apartment for a dolphin and a woman
that's literally so put equal human and dolphin posters up guys you know why
dolphins aren't talking they're not living with peeps that's true that's
right it's comfortability you a dolphin has to trust you before exactly after
like and that only happens after nine weeks then that takes exactly that's
after nine weeks the dolphin goes all right oh my god have you seen the
adventures you see the Giants game last night what yeah I don't like
the new rules boy I really held out didn't I I was not gonna talk to you
but you just won't fuck off did you know ten weeks was my limit okay what do you
want to know
Margaret Howe was a 23-year-old she was one of the assistants working at the lab
okay how's Ames were three-fold to make notes on the interspecies isolation oh
boy I feel like the third one's gonna be the best fun again to attempt to teach
Peter to speak Peters the dolphin pretty good pretty good one Peter's not
another guy that works in the lab Peter just stop being so moody and to gather
information so the living conditions might be improved for longer term
cohabitation so the idea was that she's gonna get him to talk and hopefully work
it out so that other people can live with dolphins for a lot longer we can
open the dolphin human apartment complex you've dreamed of living uh you
haven't paid rent in six months I'm a dolphin I'm a dolphin so I'm not gonna
okay she spent 10 weeks 24 hours a day with the dolphin she cooked 24 hours a
day she cooked and slept in the area which was wet she learned how to live
wet she learned the proper kind of clothing to wear she learned that she
can't have electrical appliances well Jesus Christ where did she go to school
um here's a toaster whoa that's done that's a lesson learned for both of us
is the dolphins like get a gun and kill me please kill me my god you had my ass
for two years now I'm living with a crazy broad please oh and by the way we use
the term broad he gave her propane stove for cooking and whatnot they
modified two rooms in the laboratory one on the balcony out in the sun and one
inside they took the tank out and made two rooms into a tank with two feet of
water in it so nobody wins I mean right the dolphins like this isn't enough and
the humans like I'm sick of being wet well how they made areas where how could
climb out of the water and areas where the dolphin could go into deeper water
probably where he was spending a good time he called it the Jesus Christ
seriously pull Lily believed the human dolphin relationship developed best in
18 to 24 inches of water
there's just everything giving dolphins acid how the 10 weeks 24 inches if my
findings are correct they like two feet they don't guy who gave an animal acid
because he thought the dolphin can swim and the person can walk or sit down or
lie down without fear of drowning so that would meet the dolphin halfway okay
a dolphin can go a lot deeper than two feet so it's not halfway it's not even
remotely halfway agreed to this compromise yeah two feet good I don't
want to go deep with two feet yeah two feet how deep is the ocean eight feet
that'll be bad you're watching dumb dolphins hey what's so shit about eight
give me two all right good take this acid gonna get a headache okay on g-15 how
moved in with the dolphin Peter she cut her hair to a quarter-inch boycrop I
have no idea why no I know why because dolphins like those hair cuts she must
have thought I want to be more dolphin yeah so I don't get a hair is gonna be
the issue here okay a desk hung from the ceiling
okay so they're like a house of horrors her bed was a suspended foam mattress
that she landed fitted with a shower curtain so that Peter splashes did not
soak her throughout the night they wake up bitch get me out of here bitch she
lived on canned food so she didn't have to get food from people on the outside
the fuck did this woman say yes to this Jesus Christ early entries in her diary
kill me she recorded that her companion spent quote a good deal of his time in
front of the mirror the dolphin is like the dolphin is like holy fuck look at
this you know what he's doing he's dying to see something that's like him he's
like you know what I'm just gonna look in the mirror and pretend that that's
another one of me this is not happening this is not happening this is not
happening
she reported that Peter was a good student he learned to pronounce such words
as ball and diamond and to tell the difference between certain objects now
now those have never been able to be recreated in oh that's a shit is that
weird that dolphins don't say ball oh he's saying ball oh diamond right that
down oh he said I like canned food he just asked for more acid how was a
creative commendably patient teacher when Peter struggled with certain sounds
particularly the M in her name oh Margaret was her name she came up with an
inventive method of painting her face in thick white makeup and black lipstick
so that he could clearly see the shape of her lips moving so this is science at
its best oh my god oh my god what the fuck basically put on clown makeup yeah
she's like okay because he was like I don't get what's happening I don't know
where's that coming from I can't really see you know what I think he's I think he
can't tell what my lips are let's paint my face like an oompa-loompa
yeah I mean another can of olives hey you know what dolphins dolphins can really
understand mimes I'm gonna make myself look like a fucking mime
painting her feather dolphin was like I mean I thought it was bad then then she
started painting her face and that worries me he was just in there going
oh fuck I'm gonna die yeah oh my god the whole time he's like when do they
kill me I don't mean I'm gonna call yeah just him ten uh two feet of water with a
psycho with her face painted going diamond diamond Peter diamond and the
dolphins going oh god I wish I could talk until I fuck he's trying to talk how
do you say fuck off free me free me that I would like to point out at this time
that experts today think there is little evidence that an actual dolphin
language exists well have they tried giving them acid we're having them
shack up with a broad yeah having them get a lease with a woman week three oh
god week three things started to sour yeah Peter and how how noted that Peter
was making whining noises all the time and loud noises for no apparent reason
at night no reason no reason no reason why would often is he doing trapped in
two feet of water it's in a house why would he be going fuck yeah doesn't he
know we sleep at night dolphins don't sleep yeah oh by the way he's screaming
at night is because they don't sleep for eight hours having nightmares having
night terrors we just need to get him on something I don't know why he's yelling
at me at night boy he is just he's flashing a dick he's a bad roomie
bad roomie bad roomie oh okay thank you what yeah thanks how do they sleep it
like they sleep in like five minute bursts throughout the day yeah they don't
crash for eight hours yeah they're not like all right I'm gonna have some
almonds and then I'm just gonna lay my head down and just let myself drift I'm
gonna dolphin out if the thing is if he did sleep all he would dream about was
I mean that's why he didn't sleep he could how could you sleep when you wake up
to that you're like that's still here oh shit she's still got her face painted
she's like morning what kind of candy you want candy candy skateboard say
skateboard Peter oh god I'm I'm gonna tell people they're not gonna believe
this I was trapped in a kiddie pool with a lady with white makeup on who kept
yelling candy at me I swear to fucking God that's what happened for 10 weeks
where were you really Peter look Peter if there's another dolphin you can just
tell me baby yeah oh yeah so you were just in a pool with a human and she
painted her face and tried to teach you to say diamond and candy yes god I just
don't even you've changed baby look I still love you oh so she was so she was
getting depressed and angry at the dolphin oh what a victim then came week
five and I quote from how house notes Peter begins having erections and has
them frequently when I play with him oh god okay oh I'm tell you what I'm not
looking for just week six so let's start calling her Margaret yeah her her
frustrated efforts deal with his sexual needs and advances which becomes so
aggressive that her legs were covered in minor injuries from his jamming and
nibbling boner scars okay if Cox had dicks this is if no if Cox had teeth
not dick's got a cox had dicks dicks at teeth this is what your legs would look
like oh here's the thing about dolphins they love fucking professor Peter white
a dolphin expert says dolphins are mostly bisexual sometimes heterosexual
sometimes homosexual and very frequent eight to ten times a day are they
ticklish so it's a Peter was like I love to fuck yeah and then he was locked in a
little kiddie pool the girl one person who was making mouth holes and he was
like can I fuck it can I fuck it like he was diamond is like blow me put that
shit on my dick I should mention now that dolphins are horrible they're like
the sexual predators of the ocean they have tried to rape women human women
wow especially loner dolphins who don't have a pod they try to they try to just
fuck people dolphins in pod gang rapes they gang rape their females and keep
them captive captive for weeks they make them live with a human they kill baby
dolphins because once the baby dolphin is dead the female is ready to be raped
and impregnated again so the dolphin world is like a fraternity gone fucking
insane sounds like true blood so dolphins are horrible yeah well I mean I
mean okay now both of these sides are horrible it's not they sound like
politicians they're they're good until you dig so Margaret was scared at this
point why cuz she was gonna get raped by an animal
yeah I mean yeah she had red Charlotte's web yeah she knew what happened
next she knew the score it's just getting into she shouldn't have worn that
thing the white makeup with the whole the whole makeup okay but she didn't want
she didn't want to bail on the experiment right because she thought it was
important that means she thought it was important well what happened what
would happen if she stopped the experiment oh and then aliens came to
earth and everyone's like how can we didn't yeah let's stick in there we
could we could not have talked to these guys boy I mean you there you were five
weeks into the most important experiment of the history of the galaxy bailed
because someone was getting erections and you rolled because you don't want to
fuck a dolphin ma'am priorities straight just the the aliens and the humans all
sitting there with their arms crossed at her really well what are we gonna do
now I guess we'll just stare together so she decided the best way to handle the
situation was to jerk off oh my god I knew it I knew it I didn't say dolphin
fucking what the fuck she's jerking him off okay no oh my god she starts
jerking off the dolphin now I respect the dolphins game though now Lily is
getting notes every day from her how is he handling he's so excited I quote new
totally unexpected sequence of events took place I feel that we are in the
midst of a new becoming moving into a previous unknown you know what I found
is if you lock a woman and a dolphin in a room alone for 10 weeks the woman
will jerk off the dolphin out of fear the dolphin will take it so so can you
imagine him handing in the Navy report okay so I didn't learn how to talk to
them or are they gonna help can they help in combat no okay well I have
pictures right check these out okay that's a my god what is that that is
yeah what yeah sir do you know what a website is sir I realize it's a 60s but
I think we're gonna make a lot of money oh my god pretty proud of myself
you'll vindicate it sure feel a little vindicated you know didn't see this
coming but who could have and noble prize hello hello Peter totally changed he
became very gentle with Margaret worse this is worse this is worse this is
temporary he began softly stroking his teeth up and down her legs oh my god
he wants to fuck and saying hey baby what do you talk all the time hey hey how
you doing diamond ball diamond diamond diamond ball hey hey ball ball ball ball
ball ball how about this ball ball shaft diamond shaft diamond shaft stroke my
penis yeah mouth ball I'm sure not sure why you're not sucking it do you
realize I'm a dolphin I've never had a blow job suck ball chef teeth in that
giant are you clean are you clean have you been tested from Margaret's notes
oh boy quote can't believe Anne Frank's got this famous diary and this is nothing
I stand very still legs slightly apart Peter slides his mouth gently over my
shin Peter is courting me he is most persistent and patient obviously a sexy
business this mood is very gentle still and hushed all movements are slow okay
so he's going in for he's going in for the pussy to he's yeah she's not like
jerking him off but he's he's trying to fuck he's trying to stick his nose up her
pussy he I should find out a nose the beak thing the cock shape thing the
cock shape nose holy shit hey what week are we in six I swear to God just the tip
I love fish now Margaret is no longer depressed oh god she's I don't know who's
worse who's the worst here she's enjoying his attentiveness that went on for
five weeks then the experiment ended so basically she went in there to talk to a
dolphin and she ended up having a sexual relationship with a dolphin where
there probably wasn't as much talking except for and then she and then she
bailed after 10 after 10 it was over yeah it was over so she walks out they
went their separate ways because obviously yeah she wasn't like oh we should
get married like it was just a thing Peter and Peter's like what the fuck is
my love you okay Margaret ended up marrying the project photographer so there
was a dude no taking pictures of all this no it was like oh I like the way she
jerks that dolphin dick fucking marry you fucking marry you find a woman the
jerks off dolphins you lock her down she's rare hey honey won't do it when we
do it tonight can I can we look at the pictures again
you should put on the dolphin outfit and honey okay I'm gonna do it ready ball
ball diamond diamond ball ball ball let's he's putting his nose in her pussy the
vets lab Andy Williamson was concerned about Peter who was in love with Margaret
yeah we're all very concerned about Peter Peter Peter's fucked he's been
through he's fucked so after the experiment Lily's funding began to dry
up well why I can't really figure out why found out some part of what he was
doing so what he started to do was to take insane amounts of ketamine great
solution and oddly during this period he started having contact with a
different alien intelligence agency a second one SSI which is short for solid
state intelligence what just hear me out SSI was a super computer like entity
and mele to level it okay naturally SSI was at odds with echo yes of course how
could they not well I mean once a solid state because West Coast SSI's goal was
to conquer and dominate all biological life forms on earth to combat SSI echo
enlisted Lily in this battle of good versus evil charging him with the mission
of learning the world at large to these solid state beings of evil intent so so
he finds another bad alien women their computers or whatever he finds an alien
computer race yes and then echoes like bro bro you gotta help us yeah cuz
you're good at shit and at any point was Lily like yeah but what does this have
to do with getting that woman to jerk off that doll look man we don't know okay
just hear me out of an alien listen just just all gonna come around to confirm
the dual existences of the two opposing alien networks this I can't wait for
well this is confirmation Lily was given a sign in the autumn of 1974 flying into
so so he's been doing ketamine now good time 65 good amount of time it's sent
60 fucking five or no since like 60 he's this guy's been doing ketamine for like
14 fucking years yeah at one point another interview he said I did it for
hundreds of days straight oh god damn hundreds hundreds flying into Los Angeles
International Airport Dr. Lily saw the comet coho tech out of the southern
sky momentarily the comet grew brighter at this point a message was laser
beamed into Lily's mind which said we are solid state intelligence and we are
going to demonstrate our power by shutting down all solid state equipment
to LA LAX so they're gonna shut down LAX just to just make a point to fuck you
just to go hey we're here bro hey yeah and we're not fucking around we're
intergalactic and we're gonna ruin an airport dr. Lily shared his foreboding
message with his wife Tony who is seated next to God who is not this woman is
asleep yes how the fuck so he turns to her and goes man look they're gonna
there's another you know I told you about the other ones SSI they're gonna shut
down they shut down LAX she's like yeah can I have that magazine is there no
fault divorce yet a few minutes later the impolite instructed the passengers
that they were being diverted to Burbank due to a plane crash near the runway at
LAX that had knocked down power lines so SSI was like you're gonna have to drive
an extra 15 minutes
suck on that muscle Burbank SSI is here you're probably gonna be able to leave a
lot easier but with traffic oh boy see if you can get tickets to the tonight show
coincidentally as Lily took more and more K mm-hmm so did warnings of imminent
dangers regarding the survival of mankind provided by echo which were
beamed into his mind he saw scenes of nuclear nuclear annihilation from the
aliens viewpoint in outer space and was told that the world powers need to be
alerted to this impending tragedy immediately to avoid global devastation
this is so awesome after three weeks of hourly K injections Lily decided that
he would travel to the East Coast to warn political leaders and members of the
media pose by SSI can you imagine him coming in you did the dolphin fucking
thing right no no it's different that computer we were only scratching the
surface of my scientific mind in New York he phoned the White House to warn
President Gerald Ford about quote a danger to the human race involving
atomic energy and computers a White House aid fielded the call and although
aware of dr. Lily's impressive credentials was not convinced of the
urgency of the matter they shut down LA acts and wouldn't let him talk to the
president really but how great would it have been how great the group maybe the
greatest phone call I mean and it's also I just want I would hope that anyone in
this situation would know that he got a woman to jerk off a dolphin well you
of course like for to be like yeah so the stuff oh wait okay I get I get the
atomic and I get the atomic we need to move now mr. president okay but can you
just when she did she like stroke the she would yeah she would use mainly the
shaft and she would yeah she would jerk him off like that how long how long was
it very she would go slow he liked it slow so she would give it to you know he
liked it's like super computers are going to destroy the earth she would she
would she would vary her speed how much semen would come out I mean it would
vary she was jerking them off five to six times a day so not that much at that
point this is I work for echo okay gotta go he's finished masturbating Gerald
Ford all right good oh Jesus Christ now a young intern who was working for Lee I
love that now he has interns instead of assistants yeah yeah right yeah attempted
to have him committed to a psychiatric hospital good intern thankfully echo
intervened oh good Lilly had friends in many high places one of which was the
director of the hospital who saw his old friend and released him then the
intern tried to have him put into a different hospital and the exact same
thing happened he's greasy he's slippery in 1974 so people stopped giving him
ketamine oh they don't God good people were like bro buddy it's been years it's
weird it's weird you're talking to comets it's just I don't think it's right
people your interns trying to hospitalize you so we're gonna wrap up the
K sound good so no more K okay in 1974 he was high on PCP riding his bicycle
buddy found a way out of that one he was like you know what you're right I have
been doing K too much I moved on to PCP I'm gonna go for a bike ride he was
experiencing a state experiencing a state of euphoria euphoria when he
crashed which is amazing that anybody would crash yeah I'm gonna go through a
wall he was in a coma for five days he ended up puncturing along breaking
several ribs and suffering cranial contusions mm-hmm so echo came to visit
him in the hospital after you woke up or maybe they bring anything or maybe when
he's in the coma did they bring anything no they bring him anything and they were
like look you got to come with us or you got to fucking stop this shit even
they're sick of everyone's like just shit or get off the pop
this hallucination yeah like hey look we want to stop this fucking nuclear
Holocaust as much as anybody but you are really annoying can I tell you something
I am the most exhausted hallucination on the face of the earth please it's been
doing trucks it's been 14 years I let me die I don't want to be hallucination
anymore I know that dolphin you trapped multiply that by 140 that's me that's
me I'm not real please I want to stop I'm not real and I have an emotion of
wanting to die do you know how hard that is you are so exhausting you're just
how do you take that much drugs that's it I'm taking your dick back okay so he
decided to end his relationship with echo and focus on his wife she's 70 now
basically he so basically he resigned from his fake space outfit a gentleman
I'm finished cool because we're not real he said in a room full of dolls now that
now I was like now all the stories on him and at this point
the reason I found this is because the BBC is is doing a documentary on the
dolphin part and which by the way the woman's still alive oh Jesus and they
talked to her and I think it's coming out in June on the beat in the BBC but but
then everything just all the information on him stopped like everyone's like and
then he just went on and and then he died in 2001 and I was like well what
about the 74 to 2001 yeah so I started I started digging into fucking and I'm
like where the fuck is this guy where does one go next I found an interview
with him in Omni magazine do you remember Omni magazine I don't know if it's still
around it was like a pseudo-science II okay sort of magazine like like they
would be it science but also like oh what about aliens yeah like that was
there sort of angle in 1983 they interviewed him and he talked about his
current dolphin research at Marine World no so he's working at the isn't
Marine World the blackfish people wait is he working at SeaWorld or Marine
World I think Marine World and SeaWorld are the same company yeah then well
there's tons of them too yeah Marine World was up north I thought world was
down here yeah that's what I thought yeah so it's the same company it's just
different so he gets it so they're like yeah we'll bring him in he's a big
dolphin name he loves dolphins loves him oh no in this research in his new
research he was trying to get computers to talk to dolphins oh my god all right
you guys go ahead and have at it and he just comes back to the computers
tricking the dolphin off and I quote oh no from the interview people have
tried to make dolphins punch keys but I don't think dolphins should have to
punch keys they don't have these tiny fingers that we have and quote so he's
made a lot of advances wow it sounds like things are good this wife's like
don't focus on me anymore you know they don't punch keys they don't have
fingers anyway question omni how long will it take to break through the
interspecies communication barrier now you know right there that's your deal
with a solid magazine yeah yeah a list of integrity all of it yep his answer
Lily about five years I think it may take about a year for the dolphins to
learn the code yep they're slow learners and then in about five years we'll have a
human dolphin dictionary yep and there we go boom that's right oh fuck he
also says in the interview that he had just been floating in an isolation tank
he died at the age of 86 in Los Angeles on September 30th 2001 I would like to
leave you one quote from Dr. John C. Lilly that I found have you seen the
movie Tron you must because Tron is us wow whoa just when you thought he couldn't
be more wrong
how do you feel right now man that was a roller coaster I mean the crazy thing is
he's like the godfather of dolphin research because he's the guy that
originally went hey dolphins are smart and cool but the only reason he did that
was cuz he was fucking nuts yeah cuz he there well he cast a very wide net so he
was able of course you're gonna learn some shit but I mean really this is the
man who got a woman to jerk a dolphin on the end of the day the end of the day
crowning achievement yeah that's his crowning achievement penis everyone is
penis got removed remember that that's gonna be that when Johnny Depp plays
that character it's amazing this now this is who's playing this guy in the
movie this is a movie right this is for sure how is it not a fucking movie it's
insane I didn't know you could take that much I thought you would just die
from ketamine I mean isn't it a horse tranquilizer yeah right yeah it's heavy
I mean it's heavy so heavy duty how the fuck I mean you must get used to it yeah
I got him on ketamine I'm gonna go run a marathon yeah and then eventually you're
just like wait I worked for echo it's so much okay I got hired by aliens hunt
great okay god I'd love to talk to his wife oh god she I mean she's like you
said is either a saint or she's gonna be like he was a magic magic man here's my
unicorn was the best one night aliens took his dick and gave him a robot dick
he fucked me so hard that night that night I used to waking up and go did
they take your dick yeah I remember I wish they take your dick again we don't
joke about that we didn't have any other couples that were friends so there are
dolphins out there that have been tortured beyond reason I mean give an
acid again I mean really really fucked up that's really really fucked up smart as
we say they are well like you said you can't you can't explain right you break
the language barrier then you give them so you can tell them like if they need
to take vitamin B it's there and what that's gonna happen stare at the lava
lamp I'm in the water I'm in the water I'm in the water I'm in the water I'm
in the water I'm in the water has ever think that we're never mind that sounds
crazy oh god what happened wait what's going on with peter you guys know
what dragons are I think I'm a dragon could someone use their hand to jerk me off sorry
I need a hand you know what I'm talking about a hand you guys want to punch my
keys you know what I mean your little tiny fingers all right well good find good
I don't know how I found that one fine really really great fucking insane
insane man does I mean I found it because I I read about the I read about
the the dolphin thing yeah but they didn't talk about the rest of his life
why do you think they avoided that what about that wasn't working for BBC it's
like if the fucking Grateful Dead started working with dolphins they probably be a
little better to them somebody has to say what a woman's jerking off a dolphin
we've gone too far I know but I don't think anybody knew except for him no no
he was getting a little notes he was like excited oh my god he was a guest
perfect I was a week off but perfect we got it's all happening oh I hope they
were in condoms I'm going to make a dolphin woman hybrid there we go I
work for echo here's my business card yes I know it's a cracker with marker on
it and it just says dolphin it just says dolphin that's me bye I should tell
people that we are going to send a application yeah to the tickle tickle
competition yeah we've got a we've got a picture of you a picture topless topless
and we're going to send it to them yep and we'll see if you get in I have a
mustache and a sign I'm holding that says ticklish you betcha gay nope so let
everybody know how that turns out it's gonna turn out really well I can't see
I can't dolphin ahoy okay here we go hi there dollar people this is Gareth not
Gary Gareth enough already I've got some stand-up dates I wanted to keep you
updated on join me on the road we're having a lot of laughs March 13th I will
be at Summit City comedy in Fort Wayne Indiana Tuesday March 14th I'll be at
helium comedy club in Indianapolis March 15th Wednesday I'll be at the Louisville
comedy club in Louisville Kentucky March 16th I'll be at the Columbus funny
bone in Columbus Ohio Dayton Ohio March 17th Friday at the funny bone March 18th
I'll be at the funny bone in Parisburg Ohio and that's two shows that night March
19th I will be at hilarious hilarities and it'll be hilarious in Cleveland Ohio
March 21st I'll be in Lexington Lexington Kentucky I'm drunk at Comedy
Off Broadway March 22nd I will be in St. Louis at the Galleria March 23rd I
will be at the comedy club of Kansas City and Friday March 24th I'll be in
Des Moines Iowa same with March 25th Saturday Des Moines Iowa and then March
26th I'll be at the funny bone in Omaha Nebraska also April 12th the Tacoma
comedy club I told you I was drunk and then April 13th I will be in Spokane
and then April 14th and April 15th I will be in Bozeman Montana at Last Best
comedy you can go to gareth Reynolds comm for all that ticket information so
come join me on the road gareth Reynolds comm we're having laughs I'm drunk