The Doug Stanhope Podcast - 10 Minute Podcast in Daytona Beach, Florida - pt.03

Episode Date: March 26, 2016

Pre Order Doug's book "Digging Up Mother: A Memoir" on Amazon and Barnes & Noble   Making someone paranoid for life. Doug is in Daytona Beach, Florida during Spring Break 2016. Doug decided to keep drinking and do 10 minute podcasts throughout the day. No time to sober up because Doug is in Daytona Beach, Florida during Spring Break 2016. Doug decided to do 10 minute podcasts throughout the day. Recorded March 24, 2016 in Daytona Beach, FL with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Ggreg Chaille. LINKS:YOUTUBE.COM - Castle Rock Kenny Video -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RooyxNj1tDY kenny4mayor.com Websitehttp://www.kenny4mayor.com/ Doug Stanhope's Celebrity Death Pool - https://www.dougstanhopescelebritydeathpool.com/Pre Order Doug's book "Diggin Up Mother: A Love Story" on Amazon and Barnes & NobleBrian Hennigan's book, "Patrick Robertson: A Tale Of Adventure" Available now -http://ataleofadventure.com/Closing song, "Castle Rock Kenny 4 Mayor", by Kalle Mathiesen (@8Kalle). Watch the video on Youtube.com here -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RooyxNj1tDYDoug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.comSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Castle Rock Kenny for mayor of Bisbee. Was it Callie Mathiason? I don't know how to pronounce his name. I don't even know where he's from. I think it's from Denmark. His Twitter is at K-A-L-L-E 8. Is that it? Yeah.

I thought it was 8 Callie. Let me pull it up. Is it Callie 8? Yeah, it's Cali 8. You guys are smarter than me. I don't know what to do. Smarter than you? We're fucking better than you. That's true. Every level. Tracy, get me a drink.

It's 8 Cali. It is 8 Cali. Hey, Tracy, get me a drink! Cali Matthiessen is a bunch of zeros with lines through it in his description. Either way. What does that mean?

The point is, he made... Fredericksburg. Castle Rock Kenny, we're making him run for mayor against his will. Castle Rock Kenny. We're making him run for mayor against his will. And he made this fucking brilliant YouTube video. If you go to YouTube and you look up. Wait, we did this already.

That was two podcasts ago. Yeah, but we're still talking about a cool dude. That guy. Yes. Google on YouTube. Google search. Kenny Castle Rock. Kenny Castle Rock. Google on YouTube. Google search. Kenny. Castle Rock. Kenny.

Castle Rock. Kenny. Separate. Yeah, it'll come right up. Yes. Flew out here last night. Don't remember getting here. Don't remember shit.

But I do remember at the Tucson airport, some guy who's kind of creepy, young guy sat right next to me too close. Like he was like looking at me tweeting. Were you at the sushi bar? Yeah. Okay. So it's a regular. Yeah, yeah. B Gates at Tucson.

Best bar ever. Oh, yeah. But he's too close. He seemed like he's looking at my shit over my shoulder. He left, came back, got another drink, hammered it, left. Then he signed his tab. So I looked at the tab after he left. Daniel Swanson is his name.

Then I go over to see about my upgrade situation. See Daniel Swanson talking to his girlfriend real close, kissing a lot. She wasn't at the bar? Sneaking drinks? She was like Adderall Jack. Left to broaden the car.

See tweets for that. We have to drive for like an hour and a half but just a snippet of conversation oh speaking of i tweeted this a snippet of conversation as i was walking past a dude yesterday morning in tucson going to the thrift store and I'm mad hustling to get there. Oh no, that was with Brian the night before. I just heard Overheard conversation. As I'm walking by, I heard and that's why he lost his plea bargain deal because he stabbed that kid.

Wow, that was great. It's so smoky in here. Are you choking on your own tongue? Dude, this non-smoking room is the smokiest room I've ever been in. Yeah, we're here for five days. I figured, you know what? $200 cleaning fee if you smoke in the room. That's worth it for five days.

I'm not going to let the fucking maids in. You asked for a fucking balcony, and they said, yeah, there's one. And then you made a comment about her being pregnant, which wasn't negative. Oh, that's right. She was pregnant. Yeah, you were really drunk when you woke up. And then I'm like, this could turn. And then she looks up, and she goes, oh, all the rooms just got booked. I'm like like are you fucking

with us no she wasn't you're more paranoid than me I bet you anything we're gonna get Daniel Swanson I pick up a snippet of his conversation about a long drive and as I'm passing him by

because I got bumped up to first class and I go well well, what I'm going to do? And I did do it. You told me you were going to do it. I told you I was going to do it. And that forced me to do it because I didn't want to let you down as I got on first class first and I waited for this kid to walk by me.

He would have to walk by you anyway. Yeah, I'm in a window seat talking to the dude next to me and uh i see him come on the plane and i go daniel swanson you have a long drive ahead of you don't you and he he looked and then he looked at the guy next to me he goes is your name daniel swanson i go you know what i'm talking about daniel like that kid will be so fucking paranoid for the rest of his goddamn life because just i just happen to look at his receipt i do do this a lot. Oh, yeah. You do it all the time. I remember you telling me of a time where you were sitting.

I don't know if you were first class or not because it doesn't sound like a first class move. But let's just say you were on a plane and you noticed the guy next to you was reading a book and he had his fucking nose in the book. And you don't care. You don't want to talk to anyone anyway. You want to talk to the flight attendant. That's all you want to talk to. And that's to get booze. Free drinks.

Yeah. Cling. It must have been first class. So you notice this guy was just like nose down in the book. And as he flipped a page, you would read on the second page. And you would read down far enough that you would pull specifics from the book that he's reading because he's going to be there in a minute or two. Well, depending on where you're flying to. You started writing on a blank sheet of paper details from the second page that he was going to read.

Enough that – and with enough flourish, I would imagine. You had your quill pen dipping in the ink. You would do something that would make him look over to that page enough that it would freak the fuck out of him. How is this guy – what? Pelicans? Gummy? What? What the fuck out of him that i how is this guy with what pelicans gummy what what the fuck yeah it was really funny oh and and this was all for you i wasn't around you this was just something that somehow i maybe i was on the flight and coach maybe that was it because you don't usually tell me when these things happen. There's a cocksucker, if I could ever find him, in Boston that fucked with us in Costa Rica. When my mother was, one of her life flights, she had to take a life flight to Tucson.

And we had to bail out of Costa Rica. And this cocksucker, I'll remember his name when I'm sober. He was flying to Boston. He started giving us wicked shit. And then I looked over his shoulder. Once we were by the terminal to board, I looked over. I got his fucking American Airlines number, his name. I tried to call and cancel his flight as him.

As him. Oh, because you had his frequent flyer number. Yeah. I'll find that cocksucker one day. I Google searched him forever. He's like, you should have done this at the airport. I go, Hey,

my mother's dying. He's like, I don't care. You, you should have done this at the fucking hotel. You should have, I'm clogging up the line. And,

and he had some like security fucker guy. I wanted to like, just say that guy. I saw that guy at a fucking Costa Rican whorehouse. He was fucking children. I could just do all this shit. Someone accused you. We have to bring you in.

Fucking not Logan. That's where he's flying into. God damn it. His name is Pat. You don't want to do this. Yeah. Anyway. All right. You want to get it get it right yeah i'll get it right hey all right that's a 10 minute podcast they're not going to be great we're shit we're here for five days it's not even 10 minutes i don't know which podcast this is it's the third one all right anyway yeah bingo did that. Send her shit. So cool.

It's more brave than I would be. If I had a big black lady fucking reading Bible verses, yelling at me, I don't want no roommate. Yeah, that's rough. She's owning that place, and it's you, the fans, that sent cigarettes, that sent fucking mail. Johnny Depp is fucking sending shit. Really? Yeah, fuck yeah.

Wow. He's like, hey, can I be there? I could read it. Tell her to keep that one because I could sell that on the merch page. Oh, yeah. Bingo has – wait. Not only is she making bracelets, they have groups. Like crafts?

Like craft groups? Yeah, groups. Not mental health groups. They make – they do charades as a group. She's done charades three times now. They haven't completed one game in the history of doing it. They make beaded bracelets, which we will be selling on eBay. Johnny gets his first.

Sure. I go, she just made you a beaded bracelet. What else can I do? A lot, probably. You got to take it. Yeah, that's our silver bullet. We'll spend you when we need you. And so, yeah, we'll be selling beaded bracelets from the mental institution.

And the only book she could have was a Bible until she had to spend like three days or four days before they trust her enough. With the Bible it's so fucked up you have a fucking disease you cocksucker you make them wear oversized scrubs prison fucking

laundry no shoes you motherfuckers I am assholes. Your time has come. Yeah, that's rough. Yeah.

You don't want my undivided attention because my attention is always divided. And if you can get my focus, you're fucked. Yeah. All right. Send her shit. She's way more resilient than I am. Fuck it. That's ten minutes.

That's over ten minutes. You hit it. All right, good. Did you give her the address again? Did we do that during this? Yeah, we did. Daniel Swanson. Find's 10 minutes. That's over 10 minutes. You hit it. All right, good. Did you give her the address again? Did we do that during this? Yeah, we did. Daniel Swanson. Find that little kid.

Yeah. Torture him. It's too common a name. He's invisible among the masses of Daniel Swansons. He was very upset. I like the detail. Is your name Daniel Swanson? Then what's going on?

You know what's going on, Daniel. He kept going to the bar without his girlfriend and then leaving, going back and forth and back and forth. Don't try to blame him. He's the victim in this. I just realized how easy it is to fucking make someone paranoid. I just think that's weird. I didn't just realize it. I've been doing this for years.

You just read over someone's shoulder and see their fucking you're in line for TSA and they have their ticket out and you read their name and then you just see them later on and you go, hey Gloria guess you're off to St. Petersburg? And you go, hey, Gloria, guess you're off

to St. Petersburg? And they go, what? How do you know my name? And you just walk away. I don't know how they know. Who was that man? I don't... Am I on a watch list?

There's something wrong with St. Petersburg. Bola vault. Lois. Lois. Yeah. Bola cult. Bola cult.

All right. That's a podcast. Stay with us because this shit is just cranking up. It's eight hours before Chad Shank gets here, maybe 10 hours. I don't know. Then it's another day before Sean Rouse, Junior Stopka, Andy Andrus. We're just going to keep pumping out 10-minute podcasts the entire five days. Click.