The Doug Stanhope Podcast - #538 - "Crawlspace Podcast - Alex of Australia"

Episode Date: January 27, 2024

Who is this guy Alex of Australia? Doug, Raider and bingo attempt to get some answers even if Alex is not talking.    Thank You Patreon Subscribers. We could not do this without your ongoing support.  Recorded December 2023 at the Quiet House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Alex Hodgins, Rider, and Bingo. Produced Alex. Edited by Chaille.  Doug's 3rd book now available in Hard Cover. Signed copies of "No Encore For The Donkey" available while supplies last at Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/  We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know.  Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant  Support the podcast at www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast  Join Doug's Mailing List - http://www.DougStanhope.com  TOUR DATES - https://www.dougstanhope.com/tour-dates  Photo by Alex HodginsSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

so uh so this alex character comes over here from uh he's my tour manager in australia and uh he comes over we had some projects we talked about doing uh filling up some patreon content a lot of different things editing, getting that new special out. He's in the world of podcasting. Sean Smith is a crazy lady comic. She's out of her mind and funny. He does her podcast, produces it, produces a million comics. He's one of those guys that never talks about himself at all,

which is fine because I'm not curious. But then occasionally he says something like you go, fuck, that's weird. I didn't know that. How come you never said that before? Oh, because I don't ask. But one thing, I said, well,

we should do a podcast to introduce Alex to our world. And it's a no-brainer. And then the day we were supposed to do it, I go, oh, that would be fun, because Rader and I wanted to do a podcast together for a while. And as I got close to showtime I could see Alex oh are we still doing that Alex is on fucking Johnny on the spot for everything you say oh I need the triple-a batteries for this he's got him he's like he's right

there but when he came down oh did you and he he would never say I don't do this I and it's weird when someone that's that close to everything he produces these things it's like when the lighting guy you know says fuck I wouldn't want to be out there like you work that close to the stage but

it's something about being on it the guy behind the guy doesn't like being the guy so we said you really don't want to do a podcast, do you? No, not particularly. I can't do the accent. Is that what you're going for? No, I bailed out on even trying.

So I go, okay, what we're going to do is we're going to do a podcast about you with with you in the room he's doing it uh you know witness protection style and then he is australian is probably a criminal yeah yeah it's it's in his roots so we'll just talk about what we know about alex and if we get stuff really, really wrong, maybe he chimes in. Maybe all of a sudden he wants to talk. Good host, bad host. Which one am I? It's a good plan. Yeah. Well, that was one thing I didn't know about the stage fright thing.

I don't want to be on that side of the camera. I don't know. We have a new nickname because we have our own Alex. Alex O'Meara is... So every time you say Alex now, you have to say Australian Alex, and it's awkward. And I don't know how anonymous you want to remain as far as your name goes, but you're editing it, so you figure it out.

We'll get to that. That'll be the big reveal is your new nickname. In the meantime, one thing I noticed because you won't say, I don't like when people don't, when they're not up front. The first day I was here

I had some jambalaya and I gave it to him with a piece of toast because I didn't have the tortillas defrosted. And then there was one bite taken out of a piece of, Dave's killer bread is, I guess there was an age where if you gave me fucking whole grain toast, I'd throw it right out the fucking window. But I wouldn't be timid about it.

So I go, I guess you didn't like that bread. And he says, yeah, it tasted too much like bread. I'm like, okay. So I'm going to have to be very observant to figure out what you like and don't like because he's here for, he got here the 19th of November and he doesn't leave until New Year's.

So I want him to be comfortable and I want to know, take him to Safeway. So now I watch Lactose Intolerant. So I'm making him, you know, those fucking like triple cheese turkey melt sandwiches. How long did that keep him on the toilet that's

why he left right thereafter it all makes more sense now see yeah he didn't wouldn't say no i don't want cheese because i'm lactose intolerant no he just goes down and fucking tears apart the turlets down it's fucking uh he's a very hairy gentleman, too. I saw he came over once. He came in bearded and then one day he was shaved and I go, oh, you shaved. I guess I got to call Bisbee Plumbing. Sasquatch down there

fucking shitting dairy. Molting hair. What else have we fed you that you're not supposed to have? Or didn't like or had to throw up. Because he told me the other day

I've been making jambalaya. I don't know if he likes it or not, but that's always on the menu. That's what I eat consistently. So if there it or not, but that's always on the menu. That's what I eat, like, consistently. So if there's no other food, there's always jambalaya, if not fresh made, frozen, that you can defrost and always heat up jambalaya. It's a very good all-around food. It's like a pot roast or something.

It's got meat and vegetables or something. It's got meat and... Chicken and vegetables. Yeah, vegetables and rice. Everything you need. Yeah, but you know what? That's not necessarily good because that's what they told us about pizza when we were a kid. Oh, it's got dairy. Well, that was the four food groups were still a thing.

It's got dairy. It's got the meat. It's got the vegetables. It's got a fucking couple of onions and a tomato. Anyway, so that's around. I don't know if he likes it. I made him a smoothie first thing.

I fucked it up. I put too much cinnamon. I used my breakfast mix instead of my smoothie mix. So that's what I mix in my oatmeal. He won't try a smoothie ever since I don't know if he it was that one or he doesn't like smoothies might be fucking banana intolerant to I don't know but he's

telling me the jambalaya because I was gonna make it with shrimp and he goes I think I'm vile violently allergic to. And he tells me he once went to one of those Benihana places and there was fucking hucking shrimp in his mouth. And he said, I don't know. I don't know if it's bad shrimp or I'm allergic to shrimp, but yeah, pretty shortly I had to run to the fucking toilet. I don't know if he was vomiting shrimp or shitting shrimp. But it's too bad he couldn't be on this podcast.

Nope. Such a shame. Because he passed away about three days ago. I miss him. He was a nice kid. We've been having fun. I had all these things. I was very motivated to get

shit done and at some point I realized I have to just go with what today rather than force the issue. Okay, what seems fun today? What's my mind? Do I have any creative skills?

Am I more organizational, motivated? Let's get shit planned. But we've been having a good time. the one thing that the most interesting thing that has come out is his gal

my fiance his girlfriend and as far as immigration if you're tuned into this, we met Alex, how long, what was the first year that we did a tour in Australia? 2014. 2014. So we've known him that long. And when his latest girlfriend, after a string of disasters, when we met her, I

call her Mimsy, she and I hit it off and Alex and Bingo, you know, we've been wife swapping for that many years years so we've fallen in love with each other's partners and we're thinking about getting married I'm going to marry his wife and he's going to marry my wife and it has nothing to do with the dual citizenship at all it's about

love and if you don't know what love is you know what I'm staring love in the face he's not really willing and if you don't know what love is, you know what? I'm staring love in the face. He's not really willing to show you that face, but I see it. I trust that he'll take care of you, bingo. And Mimsy, see, here's the thing. Mimsy, you know, she had a... I have not met her yet.

Yeah, but she had an occupation where she was an adult entertainer, not of the John Smith kind, but just swinging around the poles with the pasties and the titties and the stuff. And I heard you talking to him. Someone was talking to him about him, which I'm like, it's on the company dime. Move it on. How did you reconcile having a wife that did that for a living? And he said, well, I have this affliction where I can't imagine things. can't imagine things. And I... Yeah, we... It's like, first of all,

why don't people all lead with the most interesting thing about them? Like that. Yeah. And then work backwards. That's a little weird to walk into a room and just announce it. Yeah, I know.

And the people that do do that are like Derek. I got into a car accident and I was legally dead. Yeah. Yeah. We talked about this in the car ride over today. Because, of course, today we had to go pick up your car. That some kind of a recall.

Yeah, the Hyundai Kona had a recall because it had some kind of transmission that could catch your garage on fire. I don't have a garage. Yeah. Don't park it near wood. It said something like don't park it near a wood structure. Yeah, don't park it near wood. Don't drive it. On the ground.

Yeah. But. And that fucking, one old Honda had a recall that said your airbag could explode and hurt, maim, or kill you. Please take it in. I go, so you want me to drive it 35 miles? Yeah. It could kill me.

It says in the fucking recall notice it could kill me. And you want me to drive it 35 miles to the dealership. How about you send a fucking tow truck? They never did reconcile that. I think we just lost Honda as a sponsor. Yep. Well, we've lost Hyundai

too because that's another recall. So we're going to pick up the car after it's been fixed. For which we were late, but luckily the guy was nice enough to let you in and give you the keys. But on the car ride back, only because he's already outed you, I think you said it was called aphasia?

Aphantasia. Aphantasia. Aphantasia. Aphantasia. Well, maybe you have a different nickname than the one we came up with. That's why I don't

Even the bigger feel of this podcast. Aphantasia. Aphantasia. Aphantasia being a Disney movie, I think. Also not a sponsor.

Yeah, yeah. But since you did bring it up, it is technically the... Yeah, it's sort of to do with your ability to visualize stuff. Okay. So, yeah, it's a spectrum of kind of visualize stuff to just can't. And you think in conversations rather than images and stuff. Well, imagine that. All right.

The point is, so if he went in and he saw his wife titty dancing, he'd go berserk and fucking break out a hatchet. Like all the murders over there, they happen with fucking hatchets or swords. And I would assume a battle axe, like the two-sided one. Like a Viking. Yeah, yeah. And then he starts shaving with it. Clogs up the plumbing but he he can't visualize

what and there's a million questions like okay if your wife titty danced for you and then you like had cardboard cutouts of other guys and you put the memory of that in front of

other dudes in overalls shirtless you can't picture guys like a guy shirtless and big back hair that climbing like ivy he's in overalls he's's sweating. He's drinking a Foster's. And he's jamming coins down the front of your waist. Seriously, no. It's honestly, it's black. And I see like an outline of each detail, but not a whole image. I can like quickly jump between them and get some sort of sense of the image, but honestly, then, yeah, I was getting fragments.

I'm looking for the upside of this and the downside, but honestly, I can't imagine what it's like. I don't have a picture of what you can't picture. Right. Yeah, you can't subtract that from your... Yeah, it's like you can't describe a color that doesn't exist. It's like anything else. You're probably better off not knowing.

But have you found times that this... Thank God, I can can't imagine that yeah well that's one yeah that's funny yeah but what um what's what's the downside um you forget people exist and come across as a bit of a psychopath hey look at the money he's saving on cocktails look at the money he's saving on cocktails. Yeah, but like once I remember that person, I can pick up as though, yeah,

it was yesterday when it was Are there other people like you or is this like a superpower? Oh yeah, plenty of people. Is there a subreddit? You don't remember? I first heard about it Penn Jillette has it and was describing it. Really? Is that how you

found out? Yeah. Wow. He's done well for himself. By the way, he doesn't mind being in front of the camera. That's, yeah. How old were you? Mid-twents um i'd always like wait mid-20s when this like happened or

mid-20s when you found when i had a name for it okay yeah yeah so you've always had it um yeah and i've always asked people like um do you think in conversations and they're like yeah sometimes oh my god that's kind of how only how i think yeah spell that out for me like thinking conversation well you you sort of end up having a default person most of the time in your head so whether it's your crush or significant other um and you're just running every thought by them as though yeah yeah, you're in conversation. All right. Yeah. Or whoever you're thinking about or like, yeah. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I wouldn't know if I do that or not. I don't get it. My fucking head is just, well, yeah, it's a c cacophony of it's talking to itself all the time i don't know that's running conversations but not by someone else but it's always always a conversation and it's usually about what song is playing in my head and why does it yeah we both have that yeah yeah but it goes on from there. There's meetings about it. All right, play a commercial. I've got to throw my shit in the dryer.

You're listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. All right, we're back. That would be... Are they also in your fucking crawl space that's about four feet high and we can't stand up or nails will pierce our heads? Yeah, you're the one who... Where are these...

Oh, there's the nails. They're everywhere. They're everywhere. I can actually kind of sort of stand there, but our Sasquatch friend here from Australia cannot. I think those are new. New? Yeah, since they redid the

kitchen. Yeah. Either way. What a bunch of assholes. I don't think they pictured anybody living down here. No less shooting a podcast.

I really want to turn this into a Gacy's Crawl Space and put a little sign out. I stole the name. Our old friend Arthur Hinty, he said that him and his buddies always talked about opening a bar and they all came up with different names and his favorite name they came up with was Gacy's Crawl Space as a name for a bar and uh but I would love to make this into Johnny Depp on his island he has a like an outdoor bar

on the island and he goes you can sleep and he's got a bunch of, like, you know, houses and stuff. I almost called him a cabinas, but no, it's not a six-bedroom cabina. But he goes, you can sleep in the prison cell, the jail cell, like, on the bar where it would be a storeroom like this. They turned it into a jail cell and put bars as the door because you don't need to shut the door in the Bahamas. And I stayed there. I'm like, yeah,

I want to be by the bar the whole fucking time. And I thought this, I would love to turn this into a jail cell. Yeah. A little fucking cot. We could,

right there, put bars right there in that little window. I don't know if that's in the shot or not, but it doesn't matter. Wait, we were talking about him. Right.

Back to the suspect. He seems nice. Look at that handsome smile on him. But you never know. What are your biggest fears? About being here? There was a couple times I noticed you. I don't know that you are aware of how much rope you have before you could possibly hang yourself.

You seem like... At first, there was a couple of things where I noticed, he seems like, am I going to get in trouble if I don't do this or something? It's his first time in the States, too. Yeah, he's halfway across the world. He's somebody else's guest. He's a polite young man who's uh trying to be a good guest what do you miss most about home uh uh mimsy yeah of course the lady and uh and my cat

one of them yeah i've tried i tried to get us both a cat today with uh a little bit with uh I'll do it with packaged salmon. The packets of salmon. He ate one. He'll be back. But I mean, like, what's fucked you? You haven't tried to drive yet. I gave him the mom car, that same Honda that could explode in your face.

Yeah, it's got 260-some thousand miles on it. If he crashes that, if he doesn't, there's no backup camera, and he's bagging out right into a gully. Eight-foot fucking drainage ditch. So, yeah, if you fuck up and go on the wrong side of the road, the worst that happens is you die. Yeah, but, I mean, I'm much like you. Like, I don't really, yeah, leave the hotel room, stuff like that.

You have no interest in seeing stuff? Yeah, if you're going the safe way, I'll go. Yeah, well, we went to sushi, and I forget, we went to sushi over there. Australia, you wouldn't believe it, the worst sushi and hard to find. Like, it's all coastal. Like, there's nothing inland. That's a good point. It should be fresh seafood.

Yeah, but all their fucking fish are sharks. Giant ones full of human bodies. Confirmed. Yeah, so maybe sushi isn't a great idea over there, but we went and it was terrible. And I vaguely remember that he didn't really eat anything.

They didn't really have... So he gets chicken. You want to go to... Should we go to sushi right now in Sierra Vista? Which is... Yeah, it's a 70-mile round trip. He goes, absolutely. And I...

He said, fucking yes man wholeheartedly yeah like and he gets fried chicken and it's called something you remember katsu or something

yeah one of those that's yeah tempura fried chicken on a a plate of rice like like this like you'd get in a

fucking Des Moines truck stop yeah banquet portion and then coated with fucking fried chicken, chicken this thin, breaded this big. And ungodly amount. And I'm like, why don't you just say

you didn't want sushi and we could... Because one thing that's been fun is he wants to eat all his fast food that they don't get over there. So they get McDonald's. The best thing about Australia is fucking, they don't have Burger King. They have Hungry Jack's. Hungry Jack's.

Because one guy owns a place, a small burger place called Burger King. Is it at Adelaide? I forget where it is. Someplace where I wanted to go there when we played just to say thank you I fucking hate Burger King with every fucking cancer cell in my body

hates Burger King and I love it so he's only had those couple he hasn't had Taco Bell he hasn't had Wendy's he hasn't had Jack couple. He hasn't had Taco Bell. He hasn't had Wendy's. He hasn't had Jack in the Box. Jack in the Box, we've got to get you Taco Bell,

but we also have to get you a Jack in the Box Taco Bell. I talked to the guy, the manager at the one by the airport, when I was ordering there once, indoors, and I was talking about the tacos they're there do you have you had a jack-in-the-box no they're the most disgusting they're deep-fried and they're wet you can see through the shell at the fake cat food meat and they're fucking... You feel horrible. Like a prostitute in a third

world country. It seemed like right at the time and it was late at night. I'll make amends. I'll buy someone a turkey, a homeless person a turkey for Thanksgiving and it'll be even. But he said it's like 85% of their sales

are those disgusting fucking tacos. So I don't know if that's the number, but it was a ridiculously huge number. He goes, yeah, you wouldn't believe it. That's so much of our sales. So we're going to get you one of those. And a Taco Bell taco. And you can eat them at the same time.

Jesus Christ. Oh, shit. We can film that, right? Yeah, yeah. He's going to be dead. You can wear a balaclava. Through the hole. But no.

We got him Arby's today. And that's his first thing. I got him a Schlotzky's, but that doesn't count. That's not name brand. No. So, yeah, we can get him a... Can you eat two burgers? Yeah.

We can get him a Wendy's burger and then something down the street. Oh, okay. Yeah. They have Carl's Jr., but... We'll figure it out we'll be loading this we'll be loading a Patreon up

four more weeks to stuff them full of American fast food and send them home to Mimsy hang on you know what that reminds me of this commercial break and we're back. What do you want to do while you're here that you haven't done?

I really, I mean, yeah. Do you sleep well? Even if you had told me what we were doing, I wouldn't be able to imagine it. Oh, yeah. It's just been a six-week black chunk of no work, which is great. I should have actually looked up that, but I had no idea what the name was. Oh, A Fantasia? Fantasia.

I'd never heard of it until our car ride. Yeah. Some people also have a more extreme version of it where it's like face blindness. That's what Penn Jillette has. Face blindness? Yeah, where they remember a description of people, but if that description

changes, if you come in wearing glasses and you haircut, they won't recognize you. Is there a mental illness where every time someone describes a mental illness, you think you have that? Or is that just because you're self-involved? First year med student syndrome, they call it or something. No, no, because there's so much of all of this. I forget people all the time. You meet a lot of people. I mean, I wrote a bit about it. I remember in the early days of Edinburgh that they...

I don't remember anyone because I met really good friends over there. The Fringe Festival at the time, there was, like, people still partied when it was starting to become not a thing. Like, nobody parties anymore in these states. And then you go to the Fringe Festival, early 2000s, and everyone's on fucking ecstasy,

like, trying to stay up on their third day because they did it I remember running into Glen wool walking and I 10 a.m. I just had breakfast and I saw him like walking like a zombie at gone and I go he goes I agree to do this children's show and And I had to do, I haven't slept, this is my third day, and I had to do Ecstasy. I didn't want to, but I knew it was the only thing I had with me that could keep me awake to get through this show. That kind of partying was still happening.

And I would, as I went back two more times, and I had to write a bit about it that I go, I don't remember anyone, so tell me your name when I see you. If we know each other really well, just be polite and tell me, hey, I don't know you, because... Fuck, now I can't remember the... Imagine, I've been doing comedy for 18 years. uh, fuck, now I can't remember the, imagine, I've been doing comedy for,

uh, 18 years, or whatever at that point. I, imagine that as school, uh, and remembering your schoolmates, but,

you went to, uh, 18 years of school, but you were at a different school, every week, in a different place. And then someone comes up and says, remember me from ninth grade? Well, I went to a lot of ninth grades.

No, that makes sense. But what Alex is saying is if I came over to the house with a hat on, you're still going to know who I am. No, we talk about this all the time. People in town where you go, okay, if I see the guy from the post office i know the guy from the post office and he's gonna call me stan and i'm never gonna correct him but if i see the guy from the post office at safeway yeah i'm like i don't fucking i think we all have that yeah i know but that's what i'm thinking that's like yours is just an extreme version of i've actually thought

before maybe you're somewhere along that spectrum all right because and it was long before i really even thought about it but i noticed on the first tour we did together how spatially aware you are at all times um whether it was like spotting mazda threes to fuck with bingo or like when we're at like a poolside bar at a hotel and like you've noticed that a couple over the other side of the pool hasn't got anywhere to ash their cigarette so you dump a can of something and go and give them that like yeah i i wrote thank you for noticing that host i well no i wrote about that in whatever book, but when you think I'm not listening to you, you're right.

But I'm also very aware of everything that's going on around you. So if you want me to pay attention to you, just get in the peripheral vision of the guy that's talking to me and i'll just be focused on you the whole time i see everything but yeah that's how i am as well all right you can someone can be speaking to me in a noisy room i'm hearing everyone but them yeah right yeah but makes for good drivers which is good that's what that when it came up. At one point, we're going to the car wash, taking a left in Sierra Vista, and then I went, oh, shit,

we've got to go to the Dollar Tree first to make it a proper loop. And then I fucking took, go, four lanes, and he doesn't know that I've already checked the rear view mirror. So I said, hey, listen, when I do something crazy like that, or I'm swerving a little bit because I'm texting,

I've already made sure that I can see a half mile in front of me and behind me, that there's no other cars on the road. So if I drift a little bit into the lane, I'm already fact-checked. And he goes, I know that. I know how fact checked. And he goes, I know that. I know how spatially aware you are. So he dropped a big word on me. I try to make him comfortable. He tries to make me look like an imbecile

by just saying spatially aware. That actually would have creeped me out I think if somebody ever said that to me. Just I know how spatially aware you are. What are you fucking watching me at night with these weird cameras you have? Yeah. Talking all funny.

That's a little strange. Very super nice guy. Very funny. Our friends Fred and Anita, they're in their fucking 80s and shit, but far more spry than Derek, who's in his 40s. Any of us.

Fred, anyway. So we pull up, we see him, and he had recommended a dentist for Bingo and I, and I took him up on it. I go, hey, thanks for the recommendation. We're getting appointments. And we're in the car. We're in front of their house,

and Anita's on my side and Fred's on his side. And she goes, who's your friend? It's a it was Alex. He's from Australia. He's in town for the month and he's my tour manager I want to hear him talk Good a She goes I want to hear him talk more than that She goes, I want to hear him talk more than that. Anita's a bit of a card.

That was nice of you to throw a little bone with the good day. Yeah, I think it's the second time I've said good day ever. Really? But you do say, how you going? How you going? Yeah, how you going? That's the one that bothers me the most over there. Who stood out that you've met? I hate the fact that by the time Chad showed up at Thanksgiving. Oh, here? Yeah, who stood out that you've met around town or here at the compound? Yeah, love Derek. He's good value. Yeah, we've all agreed that, yeah, Floyd, you need to...

Back to when Mike, his dad, they lived together at first. Uncle Bill, he would come up, and he, sweetheart, but, you know, a drunk for a long enough time that he'd talk, and we had kind of a tacit agreement amongst us that if you're stuck

sitting next to Bill at football, Uncle Bill, at some point, you just make a nod, and they, I gotta go take a shit and someone else comes and listens

and he'll just keep on with the same story like it's like it's the same person he doesn't care he's gonna be saying this anyway so he'd take turns listening and that's what you kind of need with Floyd now you don't want to be one on one well not when he's when he's really hammered now. You don't want to be one-on-one.

Well, not when he's really hammered. But yeah, that's the thing. I can't really remember people. Oh. But you said Conrad, you know the names though. Because you've listened to the podcast. Yeah, absolutely. I noticed you knew my last name.

You even asked me when you introduced me as Dave and you said Raider. All the cost, yeah. But Chad, big name on the podcast. You got to meet him. There were a lot of people here. Thanksgiving we had, what, 15, 20 people here?

It was a good amount of people. A lot of people showed up late. Were we high? Yeah. How does weed play into this? Because you're a big pot guy. Yeah, well, that's the thing. Did you get this

aphantasia after you got a fucking bag of weed? No, the exact opposite actually. The first time I actually got high, I had visualizations. It was like

a listening party for this Radiohead album. I was getting visualizations that went along with the music. Oh, wow. And it was really profound. Maybe we should do some weed and mushrooms, maybe, and you can visualize your Mimsy, like, doing this.

Oh, that guy's huge cock. Oh, the veins are bulging out. Her pussy feels like a horse nibbling oats. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I stole that joke from some Denver comic. But it worked right then. I had to cop to this. Look how well you're doing.

Yeah, and funny thing is, my mother had some stomach pains at some stage that nothing could fix. So I was like, okay, well, I bet she would try weed now. That's a Hail Mary. Not only did it fix her stomach cramps, but the exact same thing happened to her. She was visualizing vividly and just being like, oh, my God, I'm picturing Roman columns and purple velvet. So she's like an anti-theist.

Wait, so pineapple velvet? Purple velvet. Yeah, so my parents have... But did she have the same... Exactly, yeah. So this is a genetic thing. Yeah, yeah. Wow.

Yeah, it's a like autism yeah oh shit never well no autism doesn't really have a fucking i don't know i think i'm not gonna talk shit yeah uh it's okay this podcast is not sponsored by autism no i just i i don't know but it's one of those things that you go, okay, how many people can claim autism? It's such a broad... Exactly. It's a broad

spectrum. Oddly enough. So, the weed store, you couldn't wait. That was the first thing we did, I think. Yeah, yeah. We met up, I was hammered. We met at the

four points. I get off the plane, a wreck, and the next morning we get the hell out of town, and he's like, let's stop at the dispensary. It's the first thing he wanted to do. And it was great. Yeah. In the middle of

this Sinoida. The lunchbox in Sinoida. And every time you buy weed there, they give you a lunchbox. Right. Novelty lunchbox. I got one that had a cassette tape logo.

That's kind of cool. Yeah. Because I heard someone, it was probably Chad or someone like, I got so many fucking lunch boxes now. I have no idea what they're talking about. I'm just vaguely paying attention. I'm like, I have all these lunch, what?

But I don't, again, I don't question anything. Someone could be talking about, yeah, well, they evidently have the launch codes. The fucking Jebeliah is burning. I don't care about nuclear war. But was your experience satisfactory? Was your weed up to par?

It definitely is. Well, please tell us if it's better than Australian weed. Yeah, well from it's, all the stuff in Australia now is medical, so it's pretty good. It's just way more expensive and takes forever to get through the mail.

Oh, through the mail. Don't have that. You have to go actually get in a car and drive. Yeah, but it's funny you still have to you have to get cash out here to do it yeah yeah yeah you can't so you have to get what cash oh cash yeah it's federal you know you know you know with what you do yeah but Safeway have you enjoyed Safeway?

oh yeah it's great for a few things there are way more options than in Australia even in like a city yeah

well I did ask at one point I said the first time I bring people I bring people to Safeway like someone who's proud of New York City and he's like oh shampoo because they just redid the place

so everyone in Bisbee is confused now because they changed where everything... Right. 18 years, and then they changed the fucking lab rat's maze. Yeah. He's like, oh, I do need shampoo.

And he's like going to the head and shoulders, and I'm like, this fucking... 85... I go, do they have 55 different kinds of head and shoulders where you live? He goes,

yeah, actually they do. But, yeah, if you want to see the Lavender Pit or the Queen Mine Tour or Old Bisbee and fucking wine tasting, no. But I'll show you all around Safeway. We did take him through Lowell today on the way back. Oh, yeah. We didn't get out. I already took him through Lowell.

I had forgotten. I didn't want to make you feel bad. Because of your affliction. You forgot. You already forgot. Of course, when he told me this, he told someone else that I was listening in on

that he doesn't have the ability to imagine. I didn't phrase all of that. Yeah, I'm trying to stop myself from stuttering, but my first question... Okay, bye bye now! សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់� you