The Doug Stanhope Podcast - #562 "He's Shot Everybody" - David Rose

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

There's local artists and there's local artists. This podcast begins with one and ends with the other - plus a little bit of standup in betweenSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

First of all, you're very difficult to find because there's another fucking... Oh yeah, he's that world correspondent and then there's a nature photographer watching too. Oh, there's a three? Because I found the one that took a picture of me. And there's another guy that does celebrity shit out of London and it was so messed up one year. I got a 1099 and I didn't get the 1099. Sorry, I got that notice from the IRS that I didn't pay on this 1099 Oh, and it had my London address and I was just like I didn't shoot this job and it was for Vanity Fair and I shot a lot for Vanity Fair back then and You know, I'm like so I called Vanity Fair and I'm like, did you guys hire the wrong guy? Like did you call from did you recall the wrong David Rose? And now you never hire me because I did a shitty photo

But it took forever to sort it out like you know I had to get you know like cuz I was like well too bad they filed it you know yeah they taxes on it yeah it's like people are like oh I was declared dead yeah now I can't do anything about it yeah there's two other Dave Roses and yeah I was trying to do. I go by Dave Rose online because all the Davids were ahead of me. But on Instagram, you're Dave Rose Photog. Dave Rose Photo. Okay, and that's the website name of one of the other Dave Roses, but you got his website name as your Instagram.

Instagram. Oh yeah, I don't even know. I just got to get a better name. You've never met either one of them? No, I've never run into any of these guys yet. Yeah, because the one that I'm like, all right, I know you've shot everybody. Yeah, a few people, yeah. Yeah, a few people. Yeah, if we say you shot Bill Clinton, will some AI bot pick up on that? Yeah. Or get the secret sir. Photographed. Photographed. Yeah. We just already said IRS audit shot the president. Yeah. When I first looked at that. The SWAT team would be coming down on the helicopter. Who have you

shot? Because if you don't like sports. Well you told me the Tyson story. Yeah. But if you're not a sports fan, who have you shot that was only famous to you where you wanted to brag and no one cared? I don't know if you have anyone like that. I know my fans, like, oh my God, I'm going to tell people that I got whatever, a picture with Doug Stanhope. I go, yeah, then you're gonna have to explain to everyone who Doug Stanup is. Then you're gonna have to play him something off of YouTube. Then you're gonna get called into human resources

because it was inappropriate in the workplace. And I love that when you do that fundraiser in Tucson for the summer paid for your surgery, I think. Yeah, yeah. And you were, and it was for the ASPCA yeah it was the fun one of those animal ones yeah yeah yeah and but you were showing all the clips of like animals having sex but you know with that with that yeah Sarah McLaughlin yes commercials yeah the sad puppies that oh

god hey these animals are and but it was... I wanted to do... You know, Jimmy G, the infamous Jimmy G. He's the one who did the editing for it. And I wanted to do real animal porn to open the show. Like the guy that dies getting fucked by a horse. He wisely said, we can't really do that at the Rialto, the Humane Society. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was pretty funny. That was a great night.

Yeah, he's a fucking character. I'm trying to think of people that I photographed that people don't know. I mean, there's people like Michelle in the day, Gail Ocelli, you know, when she was just coming out. And you know, I was like, oh my God, no, that's like a baby. You don't know that Yeah. Oh, yeah. First of all, Annie Lebowitz is how you started. Yeah, Lebowitz. Yeah, Lebowitz Yeah, I think my audience would not correct me From being around her so long as you drive her crazy because people come up with your any leave a wish She doesn't know I'm Annie Leba fits. Yeah

first of all There's only like when as a comic if you need a reference for a photographer You're pretty much stuck with Ansel Adams. Oh, yeah, like hey fucking hey you and the crowd taking pictures What hey Ansel Adams put that fucking phone away, all right? So yeah, Annie Leibowitz would be lucky to get a second mention because he didn't want to use Ansel Adams as a reference We taught that day when I worked for her we taught the Ansel Adams workshops, it was pretty fun All right. Yeah with David Hockney. It was like a you know, just the British artist and that was just so much fun Yeah, good. I would have wrapped some quite a few sports figures. Yeah, well, but were you just

When were you starstruck like when we you know ever the only ones that hit me hard are if like by childhood icons Like Clint Eastwood, you know, like Clint Eastwood's gonna walk in the room by childhood icons like Clint Eastwood, you know Like Clint Eastwood's gonna walk in the room. You're like, holy shit, you know Cuz I'm so used to like being really casual around everybody and and but that one I was just like pacing back and forth like Oh my god. Oh my god. He's really gonna walk in the room here, you know, and it was awesome. Yeah, so Luckily, he wasn't a dick, you know What point in his career was that? Mayor of, was it Monterey?

Yeah, yeah. Now you said he was really nice to you. Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to remember. He was, it was about when Unforgiven, maybe about the time Unforgiven, you know. So he was on a, he was on a roll at the time when I shot him, so. Yeah, he should really end that roll. Yeah. He's getting to that point.

Yeah, but Grant Torino, you go, fuck, all right, he's still here. And then, you know, I still wouldn't want to take a punch from him, you know? You were saying about Jake LaMotta, you know, because he's like, you know, he's that age and he'd still knock you out ofomato, you know, he's like, you know, yeah, he's that age. It's still not guy's your ass, you know Yeah, whenever I get in the ring with like the heavyweight guys, especially you know, I'm always like you like with Klitschko You know, I've got this great photo, you know after the shoot I'll get in the ring and take my shirt off and we always do a photo, you know I'm like, but don't fucking hit me, you know

Look at my head would go flying down the street You know, and he's like a head taller than me and his fist is as big as my head what does that tell me this the Tyson thing again just for the kids oh yeah I had I had it would Tyson was making his comeback he got out of prison and I was making his come back and we were shooting for playboy interview and so I was in I was in New York and we were supposed to shoot him in the hotel like studio set up it and as I was walking in the hotel he was walking out with the rider and they're like we're going to the park you know into Central Park and so you know I just grabbed a camera and left everything in the lobby and he

was just sitting on the wall outside Central Park in the shade. And he just was getting really agitated. He was mental at the time. And, you know, hey Mike, if you hear this, you know, this is, I love you. Is this after he got out of prison? Yeah, after prison. And before the tattoo though.

And he was, you know, talking to the writer. And then he came up and he's just like, you know, okay, you want to take my picture? Take my picture. And he walked out in just this bright, noon sunlight. It was horrible. And I said, well, I have this great shot. You know, I got a shady spot over here. And he's like, I'm not going to do anything. Just take my picture if you want to take my picture. And he's just standing there staring at me in the horrible light. And I'm like, well, Michael. Take my picture. Yeah. I want you to look, Mike. Take my picture. Yeah, I want you to look at me.

He's like, take my picture. Yeah, you want to take my picture? I can't even do it that well, but. My neighbor across the street, Bruce, looks and sounds like him. He's a black guy too. And he has the New York squeaky black guy thing too. He sounds just like Tice.

That's funny. Great. Well, he, so I was like, well, Mike, I just want you to look good. Just go sit back on the wall where you are. And he just jumped in my face and got, you know, right up nose to nose. And that all the thoughts that went through my head were, you know, like with an animal, like don't show fear, you know, and I was just thinking all this stuff just act casual, even though this guy like veins popping in your nose

And I remember going I don't remember him being that big you know Was it big yeah, you know and the thing is we see was shorter than a lot of other guys He fought yeah, it was like klichko was like you know here. You know, but I was like Like Danny Ainge if you ever met him in person go fuck you're huge, but on the Celtics He was tiny great reference for the kids Danny Ainge 1983 you're welcome Yeah, so he you know he just got really crazy on me and and So I you know I just kept talking to him and

Got him to sit in the wall in the shade, and we did these photos, so it was for Playboy interview And so I just kept talking to him and got him to sit in the wall in the shade and we did these photos. So it was for Playboy interview, which is like three photos of people talking. So I was just laughing because he was just staring at me. So I shot like probably 10 rolls of film and then just going, like glaring at me, right? This is gonna be the funniest Playboy interview ever,

where you just see three photos of this guy at same exact photo. And then he said something about Sonny Liston. He's like, oh man, Sonny Liston. He got into it and got the photos I needed. So then we were leaving and my assistant was like, wow, you were almost rich. And I was like, no, no, I was almost dead. A punch from my head would have just like

thrown, you know, gone all the way across the park. And then the next day was the day he went off on, like somebody tapped his car in traffic and he got out. Like the guy in the Nats, you know? So I was like, I didn't want to be famous for that, you know? Was it him that did the baseball bat to the car? It's in a parking garage, he's had up. Yeah, or a golf club or something. No, no, no that no that was that was Tiger's wife Nicholson had a golf no Nicholson. Yeah, he got out off clubs traffic. Oh, yeah. This guy's car

That'd be cool. Look good. Yeah, you'd like for the memorabilia world like to have that big golf club's car. That'd be cool, though, because you're gonna be like... For the memorabilia world, like to have that big golf club from your windshield, that'd be like... Yeah. That's how good a canipé. We sell stupid shit like that, but again, only to my fans who, like... They'll cherish it, but they can't brag about it because their friends don't know who I am.

When I worked with Andy, we had this collection of stuff that would be like, David Byrne would cut his hair, you know, the studio, and you just have a baggie with that on the wall, you know. So we had like Sting's underwear from that, the shoot where he was covered in mud in her book, you know and as we so we had him like stings underwear from that night the shoot where he was covered in mud and in her book you know you know just like he's dirty underwears covered in mud stuck on the wall there was this great collection of stuff it was always really hot. You worked with um he's a guy that... the drug... whacked out drug guy. What's his name? Andres Thompson.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah, I was really good. How'd you know that? You know what? Michael Bean. Whacked out drug guy.

Michael Bean, I don't know if you've met him, but when he lived here, he would have all these gaps where he'd just go, you know, the guy with the thing, he became a board game for us. When he talked, he just go, and you know, who is the thing in the one that you have to guess like Jeopardy? That's the one. Drugs, Thompson. Yeah. No, you had a good, you actually were free. No, no, when I worked for Leibovitz, I work for leader this I was back. Thank you. Oh, he's ready to yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, you know what I'm gonna. I get a piss. All right. Okay Well, you can keep telling the story. I'm listening. I'm just gonna miss miss the wall. Okay Yeah, that was always the fun urinal like at the Super Bowl parties because there'd be like all these girls hanging out and you're like

Oh, they're peeing on the wall. Yeah Go into the urinal. at the Super Bowl parties because there'd be like all these cute girls hanging out and you're like over there peeing on the wall. Oh yeah. If you go into the urinal I'm just kissing it. I'm a professional. I wouldn't leave my own podcast. There's like 10 feet out of the room. I'll tell you what, I've been hydrating with banana bag. That's right.

It's our first plug for banana bag. They send me free. It's like electrolytes that you pour in the water. So it's flavored enough that you will drink water. So I hydrate as recommended, but it makes me fucking piss. It's the same color going in as going out. Well that's like a drink we made for you. Wait hold on, we gotta show you. Can I show that camera? Or which camera we did? So this would be this photo that we did and hold up your bottle.

What is it called? Banana bag. In his martini right there. Oh is that? No, it is green. Well you used it. Banana bag in his martini right there No, oh, it is green Well, you look like a Liam. Yeah. Yeah, we just food coloring, but it looked like that Yeah, I do tell them about this go ahead. This is David Rose. We have its Artemisia is the name of the the The gallery gallery, yeah, not a museum Actually, it's like a museum. Well, it's a collection and and you know, cuz they're the get 818 is the gallery part Which is where my show is in there, but he has like an amazing

Street art collection. Yeah, like banksies and you know, Say Adams and you know, I mean just the who's who of that world. And I've gone to exhibits where I thought I should because I'll become more cultured when I was a younger man and I go, this is shit. A fucking Matisse exhibit in Seattle. I remember thinking that'll cure the hangover shame if I smear culture on it. And I'm like, this is shit. This thing fucking doodles on cocktail napkins, which it basically was.

I was like, look, Matisse's leftovers or something. So I really had no, when I went to the art amnesia, what I call it art amnesia, it's really hard to learn. I was fuckin', we had planned on doing mushrooms after we went there. And I'm like, why didn't we do mushrooms before? So I will go back, yes. With mushrooms.

Yes. Yeah, Miss Me and those, I mean, she's the one that she always pulls up the top and has the Mickey Mouse mask. Oh. And like, yeah, those are, she's freaking awesome. And Madonna's girlfriend. She's quite nice too.

Yeah, really nice and Madonna's girlfriend. What? I think. Yeah, I think I told her. Yeah, I met her first girlfriend. Remember that? Madonna's? Yeah, remember she had that shitty grin on her face all the time.

What's her name? Not Sandra. Yeah. Sandra Bullock? No. I mean, the Bernard. Bernard, yeah. Yeah.

She was awesome. We took her seat in the West Village one time. We were waiting for a seat for breakfast and we took her seat and she looked at me and I said, I think she's mad at us right and she had the person next to me was no she always has that face on yeah she was my neighbor here breakfast place right down the street from where he's to what right on the corner one dance diner probably oh no dance with a big goes serious Right on the corner. Moon Dance Diner? Probably. Well, Moon Dance was the guy. Hey, big goes yours.

Hey, Moon! Hi! Raise the level of this volume of this. Yeah. Hard yuppie a little bit. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey to see you. That was so fun, you did a great job with our shoot. Bring it up higher. Right there, oh wait, too far. Right there.

The photo shoot, you look amazing. Oh really? This is the real David Rose. You're so freaking cool. Really? Maybe that's what I should do. Like, fuck all those other ones. Just go with it.

Like the real David Rose instead of David Rose. Yeah, no, I always wonder this because I don't know shit about... We talked about this a bit when you were shooting us. Anyway, so I never let you finish what you're shooting Bingo and I for as well as other local dignitaries that you listeners might know. Justin Luria from the Shady Dell. Pull up by now.

Wait, are we in there? Yeah, we're in there. Ah! Get up here, lady. Yeah, there you are. Look, you got the biggest photo. That's so awesome. Look at the Philip. Oh wow, these are. Tell us the photo sculptures where I was telling you where I break them up into little four squares that float them out. I see what you're saying. That is great. That is great. They're all great. How fun.

Yeah, then Moondragon. Yeah. Love him. And your website is so you can these are fucking on davidrose.com. All right, a website and my my Instagram is Dave Rose photo at photos photo. Yeah, so yeah, so if you see And my Instagram is DaveRosePhoto. At DaveRosePhoto. All right. Yeah, so, yeah, so if you see like bloody war photos,

it's not me. Or scenic photos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A barn. Yeah, a barn. We used to paint this. Yeah. Damn, let me knock this ad out.

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And we're back. So yeah, so the show is, they offered me a slot up there, which I was really honored because of the people they represent. And I didn't want to show any of my old celebrity stuff. And I just felt like I wanted to do something that really honored me. That's what I wanted to ask you, because you moved here a dozen years ago from New York. That's where obviously you didn't start in Bisbee. I want anyone out there listening. Yeah, you don't move here to make it big.

Yeah. All the big celebs that come through Bisbee, they don't never know. So you, when you moved here, were you at a place where you go, all right, I'm probably not gonna see fucking Clint Eastwood anymore. Well, you know, I did a lot of, I still commuted to LA a lot for a while,

and then I, you know, just photography's kind of dying. You know, in that way. Because everybody's commuted. Every, you know, the magazines are- This is what we talked about, where you're like, all the care about that. Do you really need all this shit? Yeah.

Yeah, they're like, you know, if we just... Who has the biggest Instagram feed? And then they'll hire that influencer or... No, no, I'm just saying, everyone has a phone that they can take a picture and then there's a million apps that put filters and... Oh yeah. Do you really need to lug... You were fucking humping hundreds of pounds of lightning and bladders.

Yeah, yeah. And you know, there were the guys, a lot of the guys at the Instagram, the early Instagram guys, I was talking to them early on and I was like, oh man, you're giving me all our secrets because they had all these apps that would, you know, cross, it was like all of our, it was back in the film days too, you know, so we had a lot of our secrets for how we process the film or cross process and we'd do all this cool stuff. And now as you'd be like, oh yeah, just push that button.

And you'd be like, you assholes, you know, you're just like, totally like gave it away. Yeah. Well, it's the same with like this fucking guy or any of these guys. Are you obsolete now? No, just the amount of equipment he has for a podcast. And my friend Andy over there, Hack Oddity, he's got a podcast that's coming back, by the way, another Fat Guy Cooks coming back soon.

He's been on a diet. It doesn't really jive well with another fat guy. An almost fat guy. He's fat enough to sell it in America. You have a good voice. You should have to get one of those sumo suits. You know, be the skinny guy in the sumo suit. But he was just pointing out while he was setting up like, oh, I only have the I wish I had all this shit is I only have the basic thing and the basic and I go I internally because he's here that actually does all this does too much. I'm saying I think we

probably do exactly the same thing with what he has as what he but would you call him a something file there's definitely like a audio file camera file tech file that's definitely a fetish with you because every time it's different we got got laughs one week. We got fucking stacked mics and There's people Yeah Yeah, quality they're like, oh my god, did you use a Shire mic? I mean what?

Yeah, but that's no the one guy complains every time. Not everyone's complaining. And I know what it's like for you because I just see one bad comment about one fucking bit. And I'm like, every time I do that bit, I'm like, is this not funny? Is this really? And it's one fucking guy. In our case, it might be one guy using several different names.

So you think the sound is getting better? With iPhones and everything? Yeah, absolutely. I can fix it up. Have you ever seen what Michael does with the Oscar stage and the Grammys and all that? He designs his stuff and I Go to his office and he's like How does he's been out in his yard taking photos of blades of grass and like cutting them up to do this jungle scene for like Was that Shania Twain or who was I? Yeah, what about Carrie Andwood? Yeah, okay. Yeah, and he was just like it he he just photoshopped his stuff together and makes these amazing scenes and then it's like

you know like the Oscar stage was awesome because he had these columns and Like these kind of Romanesque figures wasn't that the Oscar? Yeah, and I had it every face had to be Mine had it not my own my own face But I have to create every single scene to be my own. So I can't grab from any reference. I can't. So I literally have to construct each scene. So he was photographing all these, he was photographing all these busy people. They're never like the Roman sculptures. And I blended him into the, into the scene. So you couldn't even tell, but if you go really close, into the scene. So you couldn't even tell, but if you go really close,

Dan Callahan was in one of them. Yeah. So I was just putting people's faces on them. I did that on the inside of one of the CDs, Bingo, where it was you and neighbor Dave and Evelyn and a bunch of Busby people came up and we took the photograph. It was at that charity event at the Rialto.

I was, the CD was already produced, but I needed the picture for the inside jacket, so I had the crowd stay around afterwards so we could take a picture of the crowd to put on the inside jacket of the CD, which I really miss. I might be in that photo. You might be.

I think I was. Ashley, later on they go, oh, well, if they didn't sign a release, we can't use them. So they just took a bunch of faces of people that did sign releases and put those on the other faces. I got faded out. Probably. This is the first year that I've ever done that show that they've said Hey, let's do AI for that beer bottles on a on a shelf hey go to AI for that and

Never heard this. This is the very first year that our director ever said. Hey, that's wow. Let's do AI Because you can't find it on the internet so so they search they could do Google search on every single reference that I use and they go and and if I Used anything a shape a form somebody's a lamp. They'll sue you and So this year they got sued year That they said yeah good. Yeah, one year was like he used he used the vent like a floor Oh, or something someone was like that was my floor vent and they were suing the Oscars yeah the Grammys I forget who was the Oscars they said they wanted to sue the Oscars yeah there's like and I

got three calls saying hey you use it a vent I said okay well you know credit the company whatever you know but I said that was just for reference only, it wasn't to be used. But what they ended up doing is they liked the reference piece better than they liked the original. So they went back to the reference piece, they used the reference piece, and I went, well, it's not my fault.

So they ended up, the guy wanted to sue, and they usually just settle right away. But I kinda countered and said, hey, I found that piece in three other scenes that other people used. I said, I know, I go, you can't, you know, let's shoot it back to them. So I never heard anything about it. But that's how far they go.

But those people should be publicly shamed for it. I know. Because those are the people, hey, you know, AI's ruining like arts and yeah But voiceover on the voiceover actors slash this and all these things Everything AI can do well You know what you shouldn't sue fucking people or don't get me started on the fucking unions No, I can't believe how many people wanted to sue Suhappi.

I mean, they have their own lawyers, they have their own... They go after anybody. In fact, they look at our scenes, making sure that we used everything. They're going to a scene and pulling out like one little element, and they're going after the Oscars. Yeah, you can't copyright a bit. Oh, you can't, yeah. No, comedy...

I can tell your jokes as many times as I can. Are you serious? Yeah but I can steal my own which is what I'm starting to do. Every time I go on stage now I take a bit that was really good from something that's not owned by me and then I just do my own version of it. All right I'm gonna do some other stuff. Here's the bit, this is gonna be under the hashtag fuck you sue me, because you can't copyright comedy. That's why people can steal your shit. But it also allows me to just redo bits

that Comedy Dynamics owns. If you do sue me, then you change the law and we could copyright my art form. Your art form, you. Do do do do do do do do. Yeah, if I steal a little bit of that, oh, you can fuck, sue me. But, I moved here, it was an artist town

and I thought, oh, I'll fit in. It's not like those phonies in LA. I'm moving to an artist community and I found out very quickly that my art doesn't really gel well with a lot of the art that goes on here. Imagine an arts fair and I'll imagine my booth

at that arts fair. It's way at the end, facing away. I thought I'd be like, oh, we're artists and we commune and we'd work together and stuff. Oh, you're an artist? I'm new to town. What are you working on? What do you do?

Oh, you make the turquoise belt buckles. That's great. I'm working on a piece right now. It's about this recent Japanese tsunami. I'm working on a piece about how a lot of the corpses that were washed out to sea and then floated back up on the shore kinda look Korean.

Because, and I think Asian people are the most beautiful women, Asian women are the most beautiful, not the ugly ones, but like pound for pound, per capita Asian women are by far the most beautiful. And that's the big difference between, the Japanese have a more angular feature where a Korean has a more like a boxy,

bloated bucket head type of, like they've soaked in salt water, but still beautiful, just as beautiful. And I was, and I'm not trying to sexualize them either. I'm just naturally just beauty, attraction. They're attractive to me. I want to look at you. And it's not in a sexual way

because sexually I find them repulsive. I just, it's just, they giggle. If you watch Asian porn, they giggle when they should be, like, I like a German dominatrix-y kind of thing. Like, you're pooping on someone's chest. Don't do, ho ho ho, hi. Don't do that. Don't get angry.

Get me, put your heart in a fight. You know? So I'm not trying to sexualize them. And they have like cruddy looking snatch. They have gunsy cunts is what I'm, like to look, like if you watch, high definition ruined a lot of pornography that I used to like back in those days.

And one was that, it's kind of a discoloration and it's, you you know and the hair it's not like it's a lot of hair but it's so it's usually it's so like thick and wiry when you you have the when you have the beautiful perfect porcelain skin of a china doll that's the last place for a thick, black, wiry ass hair of a rodent. So I'm not sexualizing them, I'm saying they're beautiful, like art is beautiful, I think. And that's the piece I'm working on, and maybe, as artists, we could get together and share notes,

because right now I'm at a place where I'm theorizing that maybe that's how the Korean race started, is they were Japanese people, and maybe they were like fleeing an evil emperor and had to swim across the Sea of Japan to get to Korea, and they drowned on their way, and then they floated up as corpses, and that's how Korea, which I know doesn't make sense

because dead people can't procreate, and that's why I want to work with you, and I could give you hints on your turquoise belt buckle, shape it like Texas, and then tourists will buy it, and you could help me by saying, hey, maybe not so much about the gunji cunts of the Japaniards, And together we grow as artists. And I would learn from you.

And I'm like, that's a little racist or something. But instead what happened is a lot of people just didn't call me back. So eventually by the end of the year, I'll have my own collection of me that I can put out there and they can't say... So other comics can really actually steal your bits and not get in trouble? But it's a very good self-policing industry.

At least it used to be. Now that everyone's a fucking comedian, who knows what goes on out there. There's so much, but there's also so much to steal from. So yeah, I was sitting in a car. We were on a brother trip. It's so much, but there's also so much to steal from. So, yeah, I was sitting in that car. We were on a brother trip. It's a great base. Yeah. And we love, we love Mitch Headberg. I was gonna fucking make you tell a Headberg joke just because, Pinkus and Lollibombs, they were all telling, when they were here, they were here. They were this hyper jokes. Yeah, so go ahead. Tell me your favorite. No, so Lane in the bed. Yes, my neighbor. I had my music up too loud. So my neighbor he's banging on the

Banging on my wall. So I said that is not a door. Please go around And you know who the neighbor was? Yeah, I'm Apollo. Oh really? Yes Oh, I didn't know that. That was a behind the scenes. The neighbor actually was, and he would complain about it. Hedberg was unknown at that time. Oh no way. The fucking guy.

Have you ever met Hedberg? Oh yeah, we were good friends. Wow, I loved him. Like literally, and when I heard he died, I was just floored. Yeah, we kind of started, not together, but at the the same time and we did a lot of early road stuff and then yeah, we worked together Randomly just two weeks before he died at a college where you I don't get college gigs. That's Yeah, and yeah, this parents are what a unique sense of humor, you know, let's guy. Yeah, do you know?

He was like he was like the far side of comics. That wasn't he? I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too. So the escalator was out of service. It says thank you for the, no, out of service. An elevator can never be broken. It can only become stairs.

Sorry for the convenience. Yeah, that's it. So you say this to AI, right? You say, tell me a Hedgberg joke. So he tells you a Hedgberg joke. He says, okay, now say it in such and such style, say it in a Doug Stanhope style. And it will give you your style in a match Hedberg I'm like it's like weird. Yeah, yeah people have emailed me stuff like that

Even an AI version of myself AI just telling us I want it I want to hear Mike Tyson telling San Hope jokes. There you go. I hope you took the money. Yeah. Yeah. Let me knock this ad out. And we're back. Is that fight still happening? No, no. Well, it's supposed to, it got pushed till November. last I heard and I don't know if it's still going on Yeah, I know I'm his age. So I know if I push something till November, maybe we're not gonna do yeah

Shoot I need to do a few more sit-ups if you hadn't like reminded me I would have completely forgotten like in days in hours, maybe I'll give you a few more sit-ups. If you hadn't like reminded me, I would have completely forgotten. In days, in hours maybe I'll forget. Oh fuck, we're supposed to do the thing. Oh yeah. So yeah, who knows if Tyson's gonna remember. Oh did I say I was gonna fight someone? I should have trained.

What did he do to me? Oh the YouTube sensation, alright. I'll kick his lily white ass so Yeah, from that photo shoot they pulled his boxing license from from Vegas and they had to fight somewhere weird like in Pennsylvania or something because they were decisive your photo shoot. No because that photo shoot the interview they were like this guy's unstable You know the interview that I had yeah Yeah, so they pulled his license and he had to fight elsewhere and then years later when he got the tattoo I was back. Yeah, I called playboy. I'm like, hey, we got a shooting with a tattoo

You know, I just want and they were just like, yeah. No, we can't go near him Yeah, and I think it's you like all I ever wanted to do, I was a fan. And so I really wanted him just to look great. And so I had his back the whole time. Was there any coming up for you? You started out as an underling to Annie Leibovitz. Yeah, before that. Did you ever have to do the equivalent

of what would like open mic? Did you ever have to work for Olin Mills and get a baby to shut up in a fucking mall? No, you know, well, pretty close to that. I worked for a lot of advertising guys, you know, when I first went to New York and, and then I, but I, you know, I had this work ethic of where I would just send out a resume to

like Richard Avedon or any of those, the big names, you know, every day. And a couple times a week. And my roommates were all working for like a mid-level, you know, just fashion guys, you know, like catalog stuff. And they all had it. This is fascinating to me, what would be mid-level cuz like people don't know they Cruise ship comics is like the lowest form of comedy. Yeah, he's not comic on a cruise ship. He's very fun We go. Oh, no, no, that would be

The comet funny or where their free drinks come It's not that they're not funny. It's just that you have to work to you have to cater to the cruise ships demands. It's like fucking 1960s. Oh don't say don't say making love say make whoopee. Okay. Because it's all fucking these ancient people. I don't know if that's still the case everywhere but yeah. Yeah so I so't know if that's still the case everywhere, but yeah. Yeah. So I, so I worked for a lot of advertising guys.

So yeah, I had babies and sets, you know, like there were just, you know, like a liquor ad or something, you know, on those kind of boring stuff. Uh, did you ever photograph a wedding? We're just friends. Just for friends. Yeah. I've never hired. I've never been hired.

Well, I thought you meant to show friends oh yeah yeah yeah yeah you know do you see me on that episode of friends no I did it don't mean actually the only wedding that I was ever it was for the Russian mob and whether in New York, my studios were in this building that was owned by certain people. And it was like the crown prince of the Russian mob. Don't fucking take off your shirt and say you're the machine.

Yeah. So this guy, he's like, you know, 30 years old, the crown prince of the Russian mob. And he's like, he comes in and he's like, okay, I need you to come to Dominican Republic and photograph my wedding. I'm like, man, you know, I'm kind of busy. like, okay, I need you to come to Dominican Republic and photograph my wedding. I'm like, man, I'm kind of busy. He's like, no, you're coming to Dominican Republic

and photograph my wedding. You know, I was like, God. And it paid more than Blake. No, they didn't pay me. It was a favor. It was a favor. So the Russian mob owes me a favor, so don't forget. Yeah, fuck him over.

Go ahead. Hey, war correspondent David Rose photography. Maybe you're suiting him. For you. So, yeah, so... Vladimir. I had to go down to the Dominican Republic and photograph this way.

And my biggest thing was like, I fucking hope they like the photos. Because, you know, if they don't, it'd be like tied up in a basement with hungry dogs or something. Didn't you walk in on a conversation or something? And you had to like... No, I walked in. It was like the reason the wedding was in the Dominican Republic was half the people

couldn't be in New York, you know, in the States, you know. So the head of, the main guy in Russia was at this wedding and I walked into a room and he was sitting on this bench by himself and then all of his Other guys were on these side benches and I walked in the room and they just stopped talking It was like those little Westman walk in and I and I took a photo and then the guy nods to me and then I Like nod to him and I back out of the room And then the guy nods to me and then I like nod to him and I back out of the room, you know So Apparently, I like the photos cuz I'm still here. Yeah. Yeah, they still together. Do you check in?

I do not you know, I I kind of Christmas card. No, I I They wanted to hang out all the time and I realized like if something was said in front of me that I wasn't supposed to hear it, it'd be like, oh man, now I got to kill my buddy Dave, you know? So I just tried to, I was never available, you know, to hang out. Yeah, I would just keep making, if I made an inappropriate joke and get a laugh, I'd just keep going down that until I got the, ooh, I went too far. But you laughed at the other thing. I was like, when I asked, I mean, you would know, you would, oh I went too far. But you laughed at the other thing. I was like, when I asked him.

But you would know when you went too far, you were hanging by your thoughts. You know, like, okay. Has anyone ever gotten so pissed off at your set that they waited for you after the set? Yeah, but I've never been hit. But I've had people come on stage or wait after a show, I remember one time up at Harvey's in Portland where we met, a guy came to the merch booth and he was shaking. And it was around like 9-11, so it was something military related,

I'm pretty sure. In fact, Andy and Chaley have it on tape. They were out in the parking lot like doing the, it's pretty unknown like really unknown then like completely. People were going to see Comedy Night. No one was really coming to see Doug Stanhope right after 9-11. So they were doing that the old movie theater thing they would do. What you think of the movie and like getting commentary yeah some guy they saw him out there where he was coming back in he had to collect himself to come back in to try to fight me because he was so his voice was trembling and it's fucking huge yeah I always wanted

to be offended it was like there's always something, it's always usually the most obscure thing you said that you said of fist fucking and abortion, but then you mentioned diabetes as a segue. My dad died from diabetes. Why? Do you find it more now than... No, no, no. Now I have my own audience. No one's upset now. Now my audience is just too drunk, if anything. Not all of them, but if there's a problem it's usually because someone is over celebrating and traveled all the way from

Glipshire and started drinking at 1pm for a 9pm show and I just walk into the stage I just want to tell you so much anyway you gotta go I'm sorry I've done this several times could you throw yourself out because you know you never you can't I can't talk you into being sober Yeah, you're too far God. So just grab the before security comes. Yeah, do it yourself and just grab yourself And I've had a few several people actually Throw themselves out. Yeah, I really grabbed her collar and do that like told no they'll be grab their own collar Oh, that's true yourself out. See that's great Because the bouncer's are gonna do it. Yeah, why give them the pleasure to yourself?

Email me in the morning. I'll tell you everything's alright a Lot of drugs Did you? So you're kind of peerless. It's not like you have me When you travel when you you're Bruce Springsteen's photographer for 10 years. Yeah. Are you embedded where you feel like you have, like some people around you?

There's a fascinating job I found out when there was a tiny little carnival at Vista Park maybe 15 years ago. And they told us about the 24 hour man is the guy that goes out in front of the carnival to the next town and make sure that the fucking donkey has hay and shit so he's close to the carnival but never part of the party he's so I would think you working with Bruce Springsteen. Are you on the bus or are you driving your fucking Chevy Nova?

No, no, I actually went to Bruce. I had bought this Ford Maverick from the police auction in New York for 125 bucks, right? Because I could park it on the street. No one's gonna fuck with this car, right? And they- Fucking Chevy Nova was very close to a Ford Maverick. I know, you were pretty sure but I was at his house at a party and I drove this car down you know

and and then he was doing a box that he wanted some photographs of like this this junkyard with all these up these hubcaps and he was just like, be careful where you park that car. Because they might think it's one of theirs. So that was pretty funny. Thanks. I'll think of it. That one actually was pretty funny. So I don't get to go on the bus. But Bruce knows me.

How lonely is your road is what I'm saying. Were you able to hang with people? Like, did you have compatriots? Like, how much were you on the road? You know, usually when I'm on the road, I'm by myself. You know, a lot of times. Because, you know, unfortunately, like with Leibovitz, you know, you had a budget and you had compatriots

that were other assistants or the stylist or whoever to go to dinner with. For me it's like you know here in Dallas photographing somebody and he's like alright it's probably like you know with the hotel bar you know. Yeah. And that's your that's your option. I do love hotel bars. Yeah they are fun.

But yeah. And airport bars because you're completely anonymous. Yeah. And you just make up who you are you can be a dick you can be you're never gonna see him again. Yeah, and you just make up who you are. You can be a dick. You can be you're never gonna see him again Yeah But you I mean you photographed him in his house No, I'm with Bruce. I had you know I had this great relationship because we could photograph you did out which album covers human touch and lucky town

All right, and then I did a lot of stuff for greatest hits And the poster for Blood brothers it was like a documentary on him. But it was great, because he would give me free run of the house. So I could run around. And I was at a bar once where he was just, because he would just show up at bars and play, which was awesome. And Max, the drummer, was just like,

guy, it's in our contract, we can't even have a camera backstage, you know, and you're running around, like I see you like in his living room and you know, running around the house and he's like, how do you do that? And I'm like, nothing ever shows up, you know. What, does he have final cut?

Yeah, he has final cut. He does have that. If he dies before you, there are going to be a lot of Bruce Springsteen pictures that he did not approve coming up. You know, well, I always told him, like, the first time I photographed him, I did a shoot with him at the Stone Pony, and he was doing a video of Southside Johnny and Bon Jovi and all the Jersey guys. And I talked to him, you know, as we're having lunch and you know, I was like, yeah, I'd love to do some pics while we're here, you know, and he's like, yeah, why would I want to do that? And I'm like, well, I know you're working on a record, you know, it's probably better, you know, more fun than sitting in your, you know, in your van waiting for the video.

And so they let me do the shoot. So as a manager comes over a couple hours later, he's like, all right, you got five minutes with Bruce. Where do you want him? And so I said, well, I need five minutes to set up. And they're like, no, you have five minutes. Where do you want him? And there was this empty hotel across the street

that they were working on. And I'm like, that hotel. And I ran over, and the hotel, the workers had just left, you know, it was locked. And, but there was a ladder and the window was open on the second floor. So I went in through the window. This great is copyrighted, just before you take a picture of the boss.

Don't get my grate in it. Yeah, you know, this, that piece of trash on the floor. So I ran in and, you know, I'm running around and I could see Bruce walking across the parking lot. It was like my worst nightmare because I wasn't that big a deal at the time. This is an amazing place. So I just old piano up on a platform in the corner and the corner looked really ugly. So I ran down and unlocked the door and Bruce comes walking in, I'm dragging this mirror up and I lean it against the piano and I sit here at the piano

and he's like, he wasn't really giving me a lot. And so he's sitting there just kind of, so I'm like, you really hate doing this, don't you? And I expect him to say yes and walk out of the room. And he goes, well, it's not my favorite thing. I go, this is the hardest thing about being Bruce Springsteen. And he said, no, it's nothing compared to writing a song. I'm like, well, write me a song

and you forget about how much you hate to have any of your picture taken. And like, yeah, what would I write about? So I'm just like, you know, it's being a wise ass, I go, oh, a deserted hotel on the New Jersey shoreline, nothing Bruce Springsteen know anything about. And he just laughs like, all right, you know?

And then from then on. I thought you were just gonna give me an origin story of, yeah, so I just say, you're on the front porch, you're a girl, and you're, say you're born to run. Not to say that. You don't mind if I zip, zip, click, he's got his Instamatic camera, zip, zip, click, you go ahead.

And I remember that photo. Yeah, but it was against the old piano. Yeah, yeah, but you were abandoned out in a abandoned hotel. How did you two queers meet up? What bathhouse did you guys meet at? I thought I was being first of the litter and moving to Bisbee to hide out. Because my brother owns some restaurants

and I said, OK, I'll go in on them with you. So I came here. From LA. From LA. And I'm sitting there at the coffee shop and I'm looking up the street. I'm sitting out front you're sit out front and I what year is this like company that started coming here for 2004 me and I looked at I looked at him and I said I said oh so um you know we introduced to each other I know you

said Dave David and said so, David, and he said, so what are you doing? He goes, oh, I'm a photographer. I go, oh, who have you photographed? He goes, pretty much everyone, really. And I'm kind of rolling my eyes going, okay, well, I'm thinking, you know, some Visby weirdo.

Ghost dad. Yeah, everyone famous in Visby. Everybody's famous in Visby. So, because I'm thinking- And Gretchen Bear, too? Yeah, I'm thinking I'mbee. Everybody's famous in Bisbee. So because I think... And Gretchen Bear too? Yeah, I think I'm the only one that's like hiding out in Bisbee and doing my work from LA. And he starts going into Bruce Springsteen and I go, oh, Andy Leibowitz, that's what you said. And that's when I kind of rolled my eyes and went, oh, okay, Andy, look at

him really seriously. So and then Dan Simonis walks up to me and goes, oh, you met my friend Dave Rose. And I went, oh, so this is the Dave. So, Dan Simonis has to give you the fucking, the fucking gold. So, this is Dave Rose. So, then that's when we started talking and everything and found out that we had a lot in common

as far as in that work in LA. And then there was the bathhouse. Then there was the bathhouse. No, because I do mostly production design and backdrops for award shows. Spam risk, I got to take it. And then I started assisting him on some of his shoots. The last shoot we did was for the United Nations. It was Motown.

Union Rides at the Grammys. Yeah, so I was doing a show, a Motown show, and he wanted to get in to photograph all the stars on the show. And it was totally non-related. And somehow I was like, wait a second. You're trying to get into the show that I was designing. And then so we teamed up as the United Nations. So the unit, I do a lot of work for you in human rights.

And I had it in through the Grammys. And they gave me one of the dressing rooms. And I put the sign up. And they're like, don't do this because the producers don't even know you're here you know something like that was shit but in the meantime I got somebody running around and give me all these like legends of you know oh everybody yeah Stevie Wonder Stevie Wonder we ended up like just he wouldn't even leave he was great he was just hanging out yeah what else is that the

conspiracy that he's not blind? Oh no, he's blind. Oh, you're right. But, I mean, come on. It's like, there's footage. Like, I'm such a sucker for dumb conspiracy theories. The QAnon shit, go fuck yourself. But, like, wait.

A microphone falls that someone else is holding and he reaches out and snatches it? You haven't seen that? Is that AI? Is that AI? No, hell no? No, I don't know. No, I had to guide him to a seat to get shot. So I was guiding him. There's a lot of credible evidence that he's not blind. I would love that. It's way more fun than thinking. I'd love that if he wasn't blind because he would have saw me. Well, he's probably, we know a lot of people that are mostly blind. Yeah.

But they, shadows and what not. He had like maybe two handlers, one really big guy. He had people like him. If he was fucking poor and couldn't sing, yeah, he'd be, I can see a little bit. Yeah, does he see shapes or I don't know I don't know I'm just saying if you can afford handlers, yeah, go full retard go blind Yeah, get carried in Sells tickets. Yeah play it but that that that day we shot everyone you shot

That day, you shot everyone. You shot, you name it, everybody. It was fun. Everyone. And it was great, because like. How many people are like me that fucking really do hate to be photographed? I don't like this much light. I want candlelight for my podcast,

and he's buying fucking more lights every day. Yeah, no musicians are the worst for that, you know? Because I'm always like, can we bring the lights up a little bit? You know, like in the recording studio with U2, and you, can we just bring some lights up and they're just like, Oh, well, why would you do that? Each comes into which you too was a recent tour. That was a while back. It was, uh, they did the Mandela AIDS concerts. Yeah. When you're, when you're pretty, yeah. You don't mind photo shoots so much.

Yeah, I get that. The UK photo shoots, you do an interview for The Independent and they'd send a guy, like they still take newspapers seriously and half them. And people actually buy them and read them. I love that. The only thing I might love about the UK. But you have this photo shoot and you go, listen, I just want this over with quick.

I only have one look. Here it is. Yeah. And then at the end they go, just for fun, let's get one with you in the shopping cart, sitting in the shop, or the trash. How about you stand in the dumpster, just for one, just for fun for us. And that's the one that's in the fucking paper, you fucking cunts.

That's what we do. Well, I guess if you work for a newspaper, they want you to get the awful picture of Kamala Harris going... ...that one shot that makes her look fucked up so they can exploit it But yeah, they don't want that from you. They want the good shit. How many like do you get to keep? Like what we're putting up a new website Is it wrong to ask you for like one picture we can use for the front of my website or is that something? We need a license this is hang on this is it because there's an etiquette that I don't know with

photographers where you're like I would just assume well if you took a picture it's the same as if you did with your phone send me a copy but I think there's I think there's other things involved but I you know, I don't even care about that anymore cuz I rarely you know, I Don't know. Yeah. Yeah, but back then my agent would be like, oh, no, absolutely You've got to pay you bubble bath or whatever rights to you know, and and I like that's yeah But if it's uh, and it always has been I've never reached out to a photographer They reach out to you So you I would just assume like if you ask me if you could take pictures

He'd give me one and I could just use it like I could use any picture, but that's not the case when it's your profession It's the same as if so can tell me you joke you can't record it and then put it out And then go do some stand-up and chuckle heads. I swear to God, I'm going to piss again before either of you have pissed. I chugged almost 48 ounces of water before this. So can you say anything? I would let you use it because... If Mike Tyson was like in your face and then afterwards he's like, I really want to see a picture

of me when I was that angry. Can I have that? Can I? Well, how would you say no to him? Yeah. Through lawyers. He'd be like, oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.

He'd be like, oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. He has something like that in your face. The answer is yes. Yeah. Pee we're not running out of time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm listening.

I was going to have our friend Hack Otterty over there, I was going to have him in the seat next to me just passed out and drooling at the bar and we never make reference to him and about 15 minutes in he just starts coughing and then he goes like he's going to throw up and then leaves and I've never addressed it I didn't want to throw you guys off because I know that you have a good story. Oh, that's alright Let's make it all up Can you so so these are all AI. I was hinting at this earlier, but so when you look at his camera setup for a completely

different project, but you also know camera, do you, is there crossover in your head where you go, okay, I'm a photographer, I could also film a podcast? No. His citizenship like depend on... Yeah, yeah. No, no. He paid me earlier. No. So there's nothing that you go, oh, I can photograph, I can direct? I could direct.

But I couldn't like, you know, like edit and do all that stuff. It's just not my world. Yeah, the editor gets so little credit. If you've ever seen me do something great on television or film, it's because an editor had to sit through so many fucking bad takes and stupid looks. You had your eyes closed through that whole monologue I don't know and I'm surprised editors don't get like Oscars

yeah but they do get it at the technical Oscar Awards but they don't get it at the Oscar Awards because editing is everything well I'm a bad editor it's done your movie's gone I also I I know that people like have an editor. Like a director will have an editor and sit in the bay. Or a producer, sit in the bay and go, no, not that, say that. So they tell them what to edit as opposed to me doing a fucking hidden camera show and going, oh, I hope that editor... Yeah, usually the director's right there.

It's better than without equipment. Sorry. Oh yeah. Hey, you know what? I'm gonna give you this one free. Because I'm a photographer ever since I found this button. Clean the lens, dammit. Yep. You know what? At this age, I look way better, shit. Clean the lens, dammit. Yep. Well, you know what? At this age, I look way better with a smudgy lens. There you go. All right, friends.

So you guys started fucking at Dan Simonis' place down there in Lowell. Yeah. Is he still at that place? Yeah, he does. No, he's not in Lowell. No, I don't know. No, you know, he was in MySpace.

He had the recording studio in the back of my building. Yeah. There was a, well, I went to a show that maybe he was just at a million years ago down in Lowell. That was at my place. Oh, all right. Yeah. Yeah.

And he did an incredible job. It was like, I was like one of those burlesque Suzanne Walsh going, you know what they're having me do? Again, Saturday, show my tits. She's always made to do it. You know what they're making me do? I love when she comes naturally in the conversation, because she listens to the podcast.

And she'll go, and I'll forget what I said. And she goes, I heard what you said about me on the podcast. I don't show my tits, I wear pasties. Now I wanna see them. You're wearing them now on your way to work? Yes. She had a thing to do where she would run across a room and just like jump up and like wrap around me.

And after a while I'm like, Are her slimmer ears? I'm like, Are slimmer ears? I was like, my back can't take this anymore. Oh good, no, no, like, My back. Maybe not so much this. No, she's awesome. I know.

But it would be like, no, no, like really I pull muscle in my back. Don't fricking like tackle me here. I really like Suzanne. She's awesome. Have you been to the studios lately? No. Oh, it's beautiful.

You know what? I have an unfortunate reputation as a kind of a shut-in. I don't go with... I've never... I've been to one person's house in old Bisbee that I've known for 20 years almost. And that's Shawnee and Gretchen, and that was when we had a sober driver the first six months we were here. We had just met them when we went to a party. I've never been to Alex O'Mara's house, I've never been to all these people. Was Shawnee wearing more than combat boots?

Shawnee Hicks was? Yeah, yeah. The first time I met him was at a party at their house and he was wearing combat boots. He might have been. And that was it. as a birthday party. No, that was it You know, it was just like buck naked with combat boots. So I was like, all right I know it's my first time in Bisbee, you know, I'm like, I said fuck that You know what?

Different arrow of Gretchen bear and Shawnee when they were drinking. Yeah, and how is a whole different? Yeah we have him in here on a regrettable YouTube video Play piss roulette was a game we would play my god six squirt guns This is after Super Bowl middle of the night fucking where everyone's fucking so there's six squirt guns Five of them have piss no no I mean five of them have tequila five of them have piss. No. I mean, five of them have tequila, one of them has piss. It's Russian roulette. Oh my God.

It's a urine Russian roulette. And we did make an attractive girl always pee in the squirt guns. So you can at least justify, if you did get the piss gun, you'd go, oh, at least it was Tracy's, or whoever it was that year. And he, him and Bingo went at it just like deer hunter style.

Like, beat him out. And it went down to the last gun. Give me two shots. Two shots. Yeah, she knew she was, she had to take the last gun. Oh, no way. And Shawnee, I think is shirtless. Ah! And this place is going crazy just like that deer hunter final scene. Oh, yeah, and and Shawnee I think is shirtless

And this place is going crazy just like that deer hut your final scene Yeah, and then they sobered up yeah You uh Well, you're what you're I know you're older than me you told me so I can't I'm 63 I've a very good guessing and age within two years carnival rules But I know you already told me blast time so it would be yeah, maybe cheating yeah, yeah That's why we put the soft focus on all the lenses. I like that you're still drinking You look great.

What do you? You're, I would, see you're older. How old am I? 47, but you're probably 51. Yeah, 54. Guess what? That's really, see I got you there. He's fucking LA-ish.

You're not 47, honey. No, I'm not. Him. Oh, I thought you said you were 47. Thanks for checking in, Bingo. We have a fact checker. We have Snopes.com as a sponsor. If I say I'm 47, it will be fact check.

What year were you born? 67. But, so, who's the favorite person that you drank with when you shot with? You know, I'll tell you, this British comedian, and I don't remember his name, which is the funniest part, but he, when I was working for Leibovitz, we were doing a thing on British comedy and it was like pre YouTube and all that stuff So, you know I get over there and I pick up the local assistants and I'm like, oh what are we doing? And I say this guy's name and they just lose their shit, right? Yeah, and I'm just like never heard of this guy, right and

so We're shooting him all day and at the end of day he's like, hey you want to go to beer with me? You know, and I'm like sure it's like go into a bar and the place is just going insane. And we're sitting at the bar and I'm just like, you seem to be pretty popular in these parts. And he's like, yeah, and you've never heard of me. I'm like, I know, sorry man. That was a good one.

Yeah. Because every time we've gone to the UK, the UK still fucking is unapologetic about drunk, fucking drugs, whatever. Oh, hey, we did morning radio. That's where we met Molotov Jukebox on that big morning, Saturday morning like kind of like an NPR fucking like like Wobbegon kind of thing but not and we did that and the whole fucking staff the DJs the announcers that they all go downstairs to this one bar and start fucking drinking as soon as the things over Saturday Sunday morning fucking 10 a.m. and then yeah we're like, we're shit faced by 1230

and they're like, maybe we should get on. I'm like, I got a fucking show tonight. But yeah, you don't see that in the States anymore. Everybody's, if they're not sober, they're doing it at home. Yeah. I love UK for that, you know, cause they just, they're all out, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I I love UK for that. You know cuz they just they're all out. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They they don't hold back. Yeah.

So, Bingo was awesome in our photo shoot. I must I gotta bring you back into this. She was like rock that trombone. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love that picture. So. I love it too. I love it too. I had to put my glasses on. Yeah, but I love it. And in honor of your saints, she played when the saints come marching in. Yeah. You can tell most of the pictures without me blowing in the horn, but you picked the picture while I'm blowing in horn. Yes. I like it just turned out to be the better one. Well. I like that. It just turned out to be the better one. Well I like that. So I was wrong. Do you have any input? Do you ever like show a bunch of

pictures to like him and go what do you think? Oh yeah yeah yeah I'll reach out you know. Alright. People like. He sent me pictures before I guess what do you think? Yeah which yeah a b you know where are we at yeah because it's yes it's hard to be so you know subjective to it when you're in the middle of it because I have a picture it's in my head usually ahead of time and yeah and you work alone most of the time yeah and I you know like now I'm like I wish I put you in this yellow jacket because you know it's perfect fucking here that's why I wore it to show you where you were wrong. Because I hated the jacket that you picked out for me to wear. Oh, I didn't actually do that.

But I did hate that jacket. Just because it was kind of wrinkly and really fucking hot. Well, you know, when you're working in the middle of summer, it's awesome. Like, here, let me put you in the double knit sweater. So do you guys, are you at a place that I'm at where you don't really have upcoming things other than what's right in front of you? Where you go, ah, I'll see what happens. Pretty much.

Yeah, that's where I am. Yeah, I make it up as I go. And one thing I love about, when I first photographed Mandela, I didn't want to do regular photography anymore. I wanted to do, you know, cause related events and all that because the guy had hired me that. So I helped produce and create cause related events like for wounded vets and you know, you and him and rights and that kind of thing. And pay squat, you know, but I live in Bisbee and I luckily I was able to buy that building for next to nothing

I had cash at the time and Yeah, I have a lot of questions afterward done that are just local and I won't board the fucking audience switch But they have the the mine company and the lease is up and the thing Oh, yeah, that yeah, we're gonna save little yeah, you have to come see his house. Yeah, yeah, I'm in. It blows you away. I mean, anything that you've seen. It's my New York Dream loft. It's my New York Dream loft.

It blows anything away. And I'm like, wow. And he bought it for next to nothing. Yeah, I mean, but in all honesty, the roof was collapsed. The front wall. I get it. Okay. Go where you were going. Yeah. It's not collapsed, the front wall. Yeah, that's how I get into it. Okay. Go where you were going.

Yeah. It's not getting into the fucking- Where was I going? The picture of Biz because I'm pretty high and- Oh yeah, I'm sorry. Did you want- There's an audience out there. Did you want the edibles at all?

I'd get that. Oh, thanks. I had, what are your- Capsules? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I had, what are your? Capsules? Yeah. Yeah, I had one of those. And that mixed with that and a couple of these. And you told him, no, I usually take two here, half three.

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. You'll be fine. I would say I have a reputation for not leaving my house. And then after the fire and I was out of the house for a year and before that COVID, it just, it felt like there's like three years there where I like, I don't really have. And I don't even remember who the people were that used to come over, but I'd rather go

out now and no one invites me out because they know I'll never show up. I have a reputation as a guy who just goes, I don't leave my house. But then, yeah, when I met you, the first time that I remember at Gretchen Bonaducci's Christmas Eve party, it's so great being at someone else's house and I don't have to help food and fucking see if the fucking pizza's done. And you said you never get out. I know.

And you realize there's a good reason to get out. Yeah, and then we get Derek. He'll be a sober driver and he's just stoned out of his fucking head. So. I remember the first time I met you, it was here. It was right after the tsunami that happened after New Year. And I said, so what is your take on the tsunami? And you said door to door sushi.

And I started laughing hysterically. And then somebody took your line. It was another comedian that took your line and got fired for it. Oh, Affleck. Yeah, Affleck. Gilbert Gottfried had some joke. That, and I think he took your line. Oh, I think I tweeted that.

I might have evidence of that. I know I saw it. Joe Rogan's news special. He did a line that I had been doing about him. It was the very next day. Joe Rogan did a line where he said, this is the only part of this podcast anyone will probably see. They just ISO this. Where he said, I lost a lot of people at COVID, but they didn't die. And I did the same thing. I lost a lot of people at COVID, you know, talking about conspiracy theorists

that went fucking too far. And that's just the start of the bit. Like his joke was, that was, he was talking about fucking anti-vaxxers. So I was talking about you. I'm. I mean, anyway, go ahead. I'm fucking, yeah. Oh, where was I? I don't know.

I had no idea. Where was I? I think. Someone did a thing that was a... Yeah, that's a good way to end it. Forgot where we were. Yeah. Well, you know, we always trail out the way we trail in.

Yeah. But... He... David Shot, the President. That's a good title for this podcast. But he, David shot the president. That's a good title for this podcast. Honestly, he did shoot Trump. Well, more than, oh, he shot Trump too.

And it was hilarious when he, man, this is way before we even knew him. Yeah, this is before he ran for president. Yeah. And I shot him and I saw it in his office at Trump Tower and then in the boardroom and I took Dan Simonis with me and so you know we're in there setting up at the conference table and stuff and Dan's got that long hair and he kept flipping it over like you know. I was like,

I'm like dude they probably have cameras in here. You're like holy fucking so stop it stop it you know and uh but the funniest part was trump didn't use an intercom and he would just be like i i forget what his secretary's name was but it's like Martha give me frank smith alone and he was just belling we're across the hall in the conference room we're just like uh you know every time we just screamed this out yeah um You know every time we just scream this out. Yeah You know yeah, that was a day was that that had to be like celebrity apprentice day Yeah, yeah, cuz I hated him that like you can't go out and say I hate Donald Trump without Online without people going you fucking liberal that I don't know. I'm so like not even part of your fucking program. Just because I hate the Yankees doesn't make me a Red Sox fan. I have not even if I

don't participate in your fucking politics sport. So I when I did Louis CK's show I was put up in the fucking Trump Hotel and I just hated him from that fucking show which I only watched the celebrity version. I wanted to see Dice Clay on Celebrity Apprentice and I watched it and I hated his kids, they're misshapen, they're like almost good looking but thin with a twist of fucking ding ding ding ding ding

and I fucking hated him so much that I, I don't know you 2010 I was probably 40 fucking something years old I penciled in a fucking Hitler mustache on the daughter whatever a Vana Vanka I don't know which one yeah Yeah The daughter's on the cover of Trump magazine in the Trump hotel in your room

And I put a fucking Nazi mustache and a black guy as a four year old man. That's how much I hated them. So yeah, it has nothing to do with politics. They're just shit people. Oh yeah, no, when Dan was doing a show, like a little bar in New York called Mr. Henry's and Counting Crows were on Letterman that night. And so they were coming in and the singer used to date Ivanka

Which is really funny. Oh, I heard yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's why he's black people. Sorry blackish Sorry Adam But Ivanka comes in your dad's playing the basement the crows were all upstairs in this other part, you know, part of the bar, and they came in like a side door and Ivanka comes down with her whole entourage and she trips at the bottom stairs and I caught her. And I was like, it's okay,

they paid me to catch all the drunk chicks. And she was so pissed off and made this scene. And you know, like, I am not drunk. And you know, and I'm like, well, that's why it's funny. That's why I don't go out. One fucking person would like this, why don't go out? Sit here alone and drink. She didn't get the joke. Fuck her.

She's never gonna see the likes of me at the Bisbee Social Club. I was just asked that someone here wanted to do haiku as part of the show, and I'm like, no. And I went, wait, I don't even know when the fucking show starts. So he wants to do it now So yeah, you know what if you can do haiku I applaud you if Nobody likes it. I applaud you cuz nobody really likes I applaud you cuz nobody really likes what is the fucking actual meat of me and

If you can do haiku and then stand on your head and get a giant erection that goes upwards While you do haiku well, we don't care how many fucking beats per sentence Whoever you are get up here and haiku the fuck out of this crowd. Oh, a guy who's not paying attention? Of course, a haiku guy that's asking to be part of the fucking show is so fucking... Oh no, that's fucking Suzanne He won't go up no fuck him You know what fuck him every time a comic goes up fuck haiku guy. Oh, I won't go up unless Suzanne

Can we can we fake a groan from everyone who thinks they missed out on high coups from a prima donna I only high two under certain circumstances and you did not provide I can't believe that guy's not high-coupling fuck this oh my god this is I know I just gave him the biggest fucking introduction that you could imagine and he is too that's my husband and he has feelings. I know, I just addressed this. Do you want me to play back the tape? Yes. You're rude. I'm rude. That's... Is that fucking guy really upset?

Is this lady really upset? Do they know how upset it makes me when I make someone upset? But I still have to fucking have this facade of I'm an angry guy, but I'm not. If I see you at Safeway, I'm gonna fucking collapse and go, I'm so sorry, but I have to try to be funny. What?

Get off the stage. Get off the stage. Get the fuck out of my house now now I'm no longer a fucking nice guy haiku this fucking walk that dog out the fucking building you're not in charge of shit write a letter to the fucking editor. Who do you fucking think you are? What part of the vista do you think you own? See, I don't, I don't like to get angry like that, but I was trying to reach a fucking olive branch out. I now I'm going to fucking see her in Safeway all the time.

This is why I don't do shows here. Because one person is a cunt and you focus on them. You just focus on the one awful thing. My husband wanted to do a haiku. Well yeah, we're gonna make fun of you at a comedy show I want I want to do a little silly dance well go to the silly dance show and ask if you could get a moment you don't go to a comedy show like comedy is fucking nothing that's what that means to me people People think, oh, it's a comedy show, I can do it some dumpster art for it. You're a fucking nut. You wouldn't go to an opera and say, oh, you have an opera

that you've trained for for years. Do you mind if I show you how I can blow snot out of my nose and then suck it back up. It would be insulting to your arm for it. Is that a haiku, you fucking monster? Now coming up, Andy Andrus. Now coming up, Andy Andrus. Keep it going for your host, Doug. And one more time for that. I don't want to I guess this is gossipy, but I was watching that lady with her dog and the dog was as she walked out, the dog was nipping at her

back of her dress like she, I'm not saying she was hiding treats up there, but there was something going on that that dog was responding to. So maybe that's what the problem was. Alright. I'm not here to entertain you, I'm here to fill some time with entertainment concepts.