The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Bonus Episode: Ep.#509 - "Chasing Crazies"

Episode Date: December 2, 2022

Practically homeless, Doug now has to deal with the crazies. Recorded Dec 1st, 2022 at the Quiet House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Bingo (@bingobingaman), Tracey (@Egglester), Tiffany and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille. Still time to grab tickets at The Plaza for New Year's Eve with Doug Stanhope - https://www.plazahotelcasino.com/entertainment/doug-stanhope/ . Football Sunday in the sports book is a bonus this time around. See you in Vegas. We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know. LINKS - Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant Photo Credit - EgglesterSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You're listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast. You're always listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast. I feel like I'm losing my shit. And I felt like that immediately when I woke up this morning. And the fucking crazies have come out like someone hit a beehive.

I woke up and Hennigan, for somehow Hennigan was texting me from a plane. I still have no... Do you know where he went? No, he said the same thing. Well, I wanted to know, but then I go, I'm not going to ask him. Yeah, I don't care. I still have no, do you know where he went? No, he said the same thing. Well, I wanted to know, but then I go, I'm not going to ask him. Yeah, I don't care.

But he's like, hey, be aware. I've got some emails sending to you, and there's someone or there's something going on that you should be aware of. All right, yeah, just regular fucking Thursday morning. And then it became a little bit more but i so your phone was working at that point uh no he could he could text me because he had an iphone it was really i had i was on the um i was with my um resetting my phone with my carrier for

over an hour but that eventually happened so he's telling me all this stuff that's going like hey check your email uh i'll text you i go i'm not getting texts i'm not getting i'm the phone wasn't even working and so then i'm like well what the fuck should i just go up there what's going on what did we i i woke up uh and then got all these hennigan emailing me first of all i should be getting these emails well take a note about that i know we at some point i said yeah it's just hold on a second just because you're not getting the emails i mean these emails they're going to the wrong place to begin with. They're basically going through our website. They're not going to. Yeah, but at some point during quarantine, COVID quarantine times, I said, fucking just take off the contact me directly thing.

But now they go to Hennigan, and he selectively tells me which ones i can read which is maybe a good thing but not necessarily he shouldn't have to forward me dangerous emails from a fucking airplane how do you text from an airplane i have never figured out what's that what's up if you if you uh use the Yeah, but these are texts. I don't have Wi-Fi or WhatsApp. These are coming through as text messages. All right, I don't get it. I'll never get it.

Let's skip past I don't understand and I never will understand technology. I think you misunderstood. I think he was getting on a plane. I don't think he was on the plane yet. Oh, he says you have to understand I'm on a plane. I'll be landing in about an hour. I'll be landing in about an hour. I haven't been around him long enough.

Are you losing the accent? I'm losing the thing. Wow. Yeah. But someone seriously mentally ill obviously called himself Irving unrerefrigerated Chicken. This email address is bogus slash made up, but text me. I'm in Bisbee, and I'm at a thrift store. It's probably too early.

And then there's just repetitive i'm outside van d and i and i'm already woke up just sometimes your fucking head is not there i wish i could get diagnosed as something so i could have a fucking excuse for some days your head is not where it was yesterday and i can't and today like this is and when he says i'm outside your house i go oh fuck i have to i i never wanted to stay in bed more than this morning and i fucking someone's at my house unattended so i i went to the house saw nobody there got grandpa's billy club which is what i have instead of a gun i have a billy club evidently my grandfather who died well before i was born uh was a citizen on patrol cops when they were actually like volunteer fire departments

and it's it's a very sweet billy club that i beat so you know those chairs that you're bringing it to the dump yeah i fucking took some practice shots oh that's why they're all all the pieces yeah yeah i was wondering what's going on I thought maybe it's just their leather. I thought maybe a raccoon got to it or something. Nope. That was me practicing. Oh God. Beating a fucking crazy person to death.

That's where my head is. And again, I, I, I have all the empathy in the world for mentally ill until they're mentally ill at you. And then I want to beat you with a fucking club. Until they're mentally ill at you. And then I want to beat you with a fucking club. So I'm looking around. Yesterday, as I'm moving shit around the house, I'm walking through the driveway. I had the gate open.

And a guy in a pickup truck slowed down, waved. And as I said on the last podcast, so many people that I don't know have come up to me and asked me about the fire and the damage and i go i have no idea if i know you or not or you're just so i think is this a fucking neighbor that just wants to be a and i'm i don't it's not that i don't understand yeah i'm a gossip i want to know what happened in the house that had the fucking police around the fucking you remember the um the the uh fire up in saginaw during the last big windstorm where we all went out and watched it was during the day it was high winds it was really fucking crazy and like took out like three or four structures a a couple of cars. We thought the whole neighborhood was going to burn down. They did. I drove by that multiple times, like months later,

just to see what you could see. I mean, those went to the ground. It was really unfortunate. But yeah, I mean, you always want to look. Yeah, and you want to ask questions. It's like the Bisbee police beat, where they have the front pages about like the local school bisbee unified school district and then there's something in the police beat about

someone was reported being thrown into a trunk of a car and sped off towards mexico why is that not on the front page yeah it seems so should we set up like a like a lucy's the psychiatrist is in little stand out front you could answer questions so so this this pickup truck drives by waves i nod and then it stops and reverses like they're gonna have a conversation so i race into the house the burn house and uh because i don't want to fucking deal with it like a fan or neighbor like i don't want to talk i don't uh there's someone obviously wanted to have a conversation and i didn't want to do that so this morning when i get these fucking crazy emails i i i go i grab my billy club and i start searching it was was a Montana area code.

This guy's saying, hey, this is a bogus email address, but you text me. And then the email's like, I found a place to camp. I'm driving around with Art V, which, like, Hennigan's on a plane trying to. Is that? Nice, Trace. Is that a name? I wish Hennigan

was on this fucking call, but I've talked to him today. He seems very taciturn and reticent to fucking deal with me. This whole fucking day is so weird. I know. He's off a plane from somewhere. You're telling me Japan

advanced to the 16. Japanese supremacists. That's me. With a much disputed goal, apparently. Japanese are the fucking supreme race. They have manners and nice hair and Godzilla. Fuck every other race.

Now I'm getting into Kanye territory. We just did the podcast issues at the end, and I had no idea any of that had been happening with the ski mask and the Nazi thing. Yeah, I've been on Twitter. This is crazy. And we'll get to that.

Last night I was on Twitter a lot, and we'll get to that. Sometimes I go, oh. And today even I'm like, oh, did I really need to tweet that? But it does work out. I start driving around because the guy said, oh, text me. I found a place to camp out. Art V gave me the tour. Hennigan says, that might be a Seinfeld reference,

and I have no idea why. Art Vandele. Yeah, Vandelay Industries. That was George was trying to get a job, or he was trying to pull some scam, and he had to prove that he was working, and he made up a place where he worked. He was an architect, and that was it. Well, he made up a place where he worked, like Art Vandelay Industries. Well, Hennigan was doing his own in v in flight private investigator

work anyway so I'm driving around looking for Montana plates because this guy leaves me a number that's a Montana area code and then the prefix is Bozeman means nothing like I know I have a fucking just a

huge folder of crazies I have my suicide just a huge folder of crazies. I have my suicide folder and my email, my annoying and my crazies. And I just dropped at least 10 emails into the crazy folder just from today. Three different crazies. three different crazies. So I'm at the four-way stop by the good to go. And I see the same pickup truck from yesterday going into my neighbor.

The one that waved at you and then started to reverse? Yeah. And he waved again and I nodded. And then I turned, went through the good to go looking for Montana plates, then did a lap around the neighborhood. Then I come back. He's coming back out of the neighborhood.

I notice he's got out-of-state plates. I was pretty sure they were not Montana plates, but the fact that he's in and out at that hour. So I just flipped a U-turn, and I followed him to the shady Dell. And then he got out of his car. And like, I parked where he couldn't see me. Cause I'm calling Justin Jason from the shady Dell going,

Hey, you get a fucking guy from Montana. He didn't answer his phone. The guy walks up to me very sheepishly. And I said said have you been emailing me today wow and he goes he misspoke but he said no i i just left a email in your mailbox i'm a big fan and i didn't want to bother you because I know about the fire. And then I told him, I'm sorry.

I realized this is not the guy that's been emailing me. My name is Grant. That's my cousin's name who drank himself to death. I didn't say that. I thought it. And I explained the situation sorry i i yeah i have a someone that's a problem it's just bad timing and uh and then i drive back to the burnt property sitting in the fun house and i hear where you have people you know boots on ground finally checking for asbestos which yep i got asbestos so this is gonna be even more of a

fucking problem i'm just sitting in there staring at a crossword puzzle just trying to like just lose my angst and my anxiety and i hear i thought it was the insurance guy who was down measuring shit and i'm like oh wait no that's the fucking our new neighbor lou that moved in across the street talking to and i went out i'm like oh fuck this is the guy and he's asking her well uh kid i uh he was asking her just fishing for information asking her about the fire and uh yeah well the gates are open i i think i could just walk in and then i just i went in i grabbed my fucking billy club out of the fucking old Honda. You're traveling with your road trenching? I had just come back from fucking looking for this fucking crazy guy. And here he is.

And he goes, oh, wait, here's someone. Oh, that's the man himself. Hi, I'm Irving. I go, I know who the fuck you are. Get the fuck out of here. And I'm wielding my bat with my fucking old man posture. And he was a pretty giant guy. He looked like fucking Betty's old son-in-law that sold used cars at the

circle. He looked dusty. And he had a dusty old car with Colorado plates, Montana area code. And he goes, is this a bad time? Is this inappropriate? I'm like, fuck yeah. Get the fuck out.

And I walked the neighbor in. So she wasn't still dealing with it. Like, I didn't know what to say. He was just trying to fish information out of me. And I don't know. I just bought this house. I'm like, just come on fish information out of me. And I don't know. I just bought this house. I'm like, just come on in until he goes away. And then called you to call Chaley because Chaley's phone didn't work.

And he shows up 15 minutes later in an emergency situation. Well, I was in the middle of preparing a meal. I got there. He did. He was Johnny on the spot for the fire. But when the fucking murderers are out, it seems like I'm going to eat breakfast first. I didn't. He didn't.

He just had to turn it off. I was halfway cooking eggs. And I had to fucking finish the egg to put it to sit for me to eat cold later. The guy went off, then sent several more emails. Sorry, I must uh come too early but i thought we could be friends sorry she did that i did i did again he's someone that's fucking mentally ill. But I thought we would be friends and we could do these things.

What kind of things did he want to do? I don't know. I could read the fucking emails. Are you just going to scrapbook together and fucking take a yoga class with dogs? He just kept baiting me. He just kept baiting me with, you're going to be happy that I came. You're going to be. kept baiting me with there you're gonna be happy that i came you're gonna be i uh and afterwards if you're ever curious about why i came for your own peace of mind i left but you can text or call

me anytime like fuck off and then i get a fucking email from some fucking lady telling me. This is like my news. Right now, I bet there's four more emails from some lady that's saying that I need to move to Los Angeles and help Leonardo DiCaprio get off of booze and get me and Bingo off of booze. I made the mistake of interacting with her. I shouldn't have. So, yeah, block, block. And it's just been this fucking whirlwind of crazy.

And last night, I was tweeting when I shouldn't be, I tweeted because I made a joke on yesterday's podcast about I should just stay at the fucking Plaza Hotel rather than this whole fucking temporary housing thing that the, Oh, here we go. Oh shit. It's Brian.

Here we go. You want me to pause this? No, no, no. I Brian, you're on the podcast. Okay.

I'm putting with kind of bad news about the Plaza. Wow. Yeah. Cause basically Jonathan was kind of joking when he responded to you on the Twitter. Ah, fuck. I was exactly of joking when he responded to you on the Twitter. Ah, fuck. I was exactly where I was in the podcast. I knew this was all going to go fucking south. So, I mean, as I said, they, for the next, until the 12th, they have the rodeo in town,

which is held in their grounds. Oh, yeah. That's right. You can actually, you can look out from the plaza. You can see the paddocks and stuff. All right. Okay, well, that's,

you couldn't have timed this more perfectly. Available for, so like, for like a week. So like on, I just looked at like a week from Monday to Monday next. Not on Monday.

All right. You give, you give me the details later. Okay. I'll call you after the podcast, but yeah, it was just getting into me tweeting at the fucking plaza. So.

Yeah. All right. There's also, there's a, I forwarded you another email from the crazy from this morning. Oh, geez. Yeah. We just got done with that. Did email from the crazy from this morning. Oh, geez. We just got done with that. Did you read the crazy lady?

No, I'm just... She's not... She won't stop. I'm going to have to block her. Anyway, all right. I'll call you after. Bye. Oh, so that's what happened last night is one of the tweets, I said,

hey, I made a joke about this on the podcast, but yeah, maybe I should move to Vegas and just stay since temporary housing is paying for my hotel. Why don't I just stay in Vegas at the Plaza right up until my New Year's Eve gig? And the fucking owner of the Plaza tweeted back. Let's do it. Well, now you see how that ended. Yeah. And the fucking owner of the plaza tweeted back, let's do it. Well, now you see how that ended. Yeah. So all day today, temporary housing was supposed to have an Airbnb for us today.

And they never fucking called back. And then I called them nothing. Yeah, just complete radio silence everything yesterday seemed remember when i said oh i had all this hate built up and now everything's going smoothly and the fucking people showed up this morning to fix the place everything i mean it's fucked but at least people are showing up oh but now the people that were the good people, the temporary housing people, fucking radio silence. If I wasn't me, I would be sleeping in my car at least three of the last 10 nights. And it's, yeah, the name of the company is CRS Temporary Housing. They do have a fucking twitter and i'm gonna i'm gonna

lay off fucking giving them a beating who but no it's and and i said that to hennigan should i lay off that why all right oh, please hold. I don't know. I'm fucking just losing my shit. This fucking lady keeps emailing me. I don't know you. Again, with mental illness, and we talked about this a lot with bobby when bobby called and you guys are talking bobby caldwell yeah notes from at notes from the pen oh i did i i did i did tweet a lot dm and tweet the Attorney General of Michigan, Dana Nessel.

Like, hey, fucking, no, it's about good time. In Michigan, they don't have any such thing as good behavior. Yeah, getting your sentence reduced for good behavior. And Bobby's a fucking brilliant guy. And he's like, yeah, he had a bad episode with fucking drugs, but he's reformed and not because of prison. Anyway, so yeah, I tweeted Dana Nessel, and she is funny. She has tweeted some very funny things. Anyway, so this fucking, it just, hey, crazy people, fucking leave me alone right now because I feel like I'm losing my own shit.

Now that I know that I'm not leaving for Las Vegas on Saturday during this podcast. All right. At least I got some parameters. And CRS finally answered their phone. Do you, oh, no, that was, yeah, it wasn't necessarily them. It was your phone. Well, I don't know if it was my phone. I videotaped and I was, Hennigan was about to put out me calling there.

I Googled them. Oh, we're available 24 hours and i called five or six different times from different phones and it was just going boop boop boop your call cannot be completed as dialed please try again and i videotaped this with the fucking phone number and then brian goes oh i called and i got through and then tracy called and got through but i i bingo was here i'm like look this is the fucking number and it kept going then i got through and they go oh we're gonna mark this as urgent and we'll have someone get back to you and not i called state farm at five to fucking five o'clock because everyone they fucking boogie out at five o'clock those fucking khaki pants and blue oxford type of folk folk they boogie

and so i called everyone not a fucking word Everyone who made me comfortable last night, State Farm, my local agent, my Johnny on the spot guy that took over for the fucking Caleb Casanova. God fucking radio silence. I'd be sleeping in my car tonight if it weren't for you, the listeners and the ticket buyers. Losing my shit. I looked up airfares. I was gonna, oh, Chaley's leaving town for a week. I'll just go

up and I'll stay at the Best Western in between you and Tracy, and Bingo can sit in a chair and watch. And maybe we'll all fly out together. But yeah, I guess that's not happening. Fucking

Plaza Hotel. God damn you telling me in the middle of the night. But you don't want to be there during a rodeo. I wouldn't leave my room. You know how I am. It would be just the idea of spending a month at the Palazzo Hotel. Like Dean Martin.

Howard Hughes. Definitely more Howard Hughes. Pajamas, slippers. Because Hennigan said, do you understand this is the anniversary of when Howard Hughes moved into the dunes or the sands or whatever. He bought the fucking hotel. And I'm like, this is the only way this could be better. And if anyone can hook this up,

I would spend a fucking month living in an airport. That's the only thing that would be more weird than living in a downtown old school, fucking Vegas, El Cortez, Union Plaza. I still call it the Union Plaza from my days there before. But you wouldn't stay at Tucson International. You'd want to stay in Singapore or something.

Yeah, one that has a hotel in the airport. Like Amsterdam has a gate side. Bisbee Regional Airport. I would fucking love it. That has a hotel in the airport. Like Amsterdam has a gate side. Bisbee Regional Airport. I would fucking love it. Even Atlanta has the minute suites, the unsung. Oh, yeah, my flight's canceled. I have to stay overnight.

Oh, you're going to put me up in a hotel? No one knows about minute suites. And I think it's A gates or b gates i don't know and it's basically a fold-out futon with no nothing you have to still go out to go use a public restroom oh but yeah you can you can keep your shit together and yeah you can rent it by the hours uh but yeah we've we've been stuck in atlanta I got stuck that time in Salt Lake City. I had to sleep on the floor under where people sit, on those rows of chairs with the arms.

I've also done that in Salt Lake. Yeah, that was when you called and said, he has to be here for this meeting. He's the keynote speaker because they had inclement weather. Oh, yeah. That's when you were dying. And it worked. Yeah, it worked.

That's never going to happen again. No. Unless I get Delta 360. I think posting that picture, video of me shaving. What did you do? Oh, you didn't see this? No. I had Hannigan tweet it to passenger shaming if you don't follow passenger

shaming on uh twitter uh it's just like people who just it's videos of the lady who changed the bingo the lady who changed the diaper in the middle seat next to me on the drink tray. Oh. That is right there. No, I did that. I have a picture of that on my MySpace, or I did. A lady, when I was flying southwest in the MySpace days, she fucking changed a baby on the fucking drink tray next to me. And I took a picture of her fucking naked baby, and I said, I hope pedophiles masturbate to your naked baby you fucking so

passenger shaming is all these people that are they take pictures of people who are like bingo that put their feet in the fucking magazine rack clipping their toenails yeah but there's a video and hennigan he figured out it was a LA to Tucson flight. I don't know where we were coming back from that. We had to make that connection. It could have been coming back from Australia, whatever, but I am hammered.

I am shirtless in first class. She shaving my face and then chest. Shaving your chest? Yeah. In first class? Yeah, and then he said there's other pictures, still photos. I can't remember what. Sir, would you like a warm towel? Those were the days.

And I really thought I shouldn't have him tweet this. I want to be mea culpa, but what if that's the thing that fucks me out of Delta 360? It's that one time I did something I don't remember. We've got a couple red flags here, Mr. Stanhope, and we're just going to say maybe next year. Do you remember when we were going to Amsterdam for the Lowlands Festival? Absolutely. We were flying first class. And I'd never been in first class before.

I had this really cool gold jacket. It's one of my favorite jackets. Oh, that's mine. And I fell asleep. We were so drunk. I fell asleep. Because I almost missed the flight. Remember?

I was in Vegas. And I missed the flight. And I had to get to Tucson. It was fucking nuts. I was going to miss the flight remember i was in vegas and i missed the flight and i had to get to tucson it was fucking nuts i was gonna miss the flight out of la and so i was totally tired and totally drunk and i got we get to the to the to the flight together and because we were flying separately to get to la and then we get in first class and i spilled like a whole thing of cabernet i woke up and the the red wine had gone all down my sleeve and down my jacket and i washed the entire jacket in the in the in the sink no in the plane airplane that's what i'm

saying the airplane toilet yeah but not the toilet it released every smell that that jacket has had since the 50s when it was fucking produced man it. It still smells like mothballs from that. But it's still beautiful. Yeah, it's still a great jacket. I love that jacket. I would have made the list. Because I remember that's when I had shaved out the fryer tuck on the top of my head and put a nicotine patch on my neck.

I only remember that because I had that picture. A picture I took of you. Yeah. Don't look at me. I think this house won't be fixed till I'm back from Australia. Chances are. God damn it. Australia.

Chances are. God damn it. That fucking fantasy is just the whole balloon has been burst of us fucking going to Vegas. Oh, for the month. You're still going to Vegas for the show. Yeah. We're definitely going to Vegas for the show. Maybe you can grab a couple of days before the show.

I might drive up a couple weeks before a fucking rodeo is over. Oh, my God. I got douchebagged for a rodeo. Oh, my God. Probably premium. It's pretty big. When we were there recently, on the way to Panama, when we were going to the desert party for issues with Andy,

we were going to stay in Vegas. And we were like, oh, we'll just get a hotel when we're close by. You know, Hoover Dam coming up. All right, just look. Maybe get Boulder City or something like that. Everything was $200 plus. Plaza, $240.

For like an off night. It was like a Wednesday or something, wasn't it? Yeah. And it was because they had a huge electronic consumer show in. Oh, yeah. January. Everyone had the laminates. That's the worst fucking. It was auto.

Yeah. It was auto parts. That's what it was. Yeah. I don't know about that one. It's huge. It's all the aftermarket stuff. International, for sure.

All the vendors separate from the car companies. And they're all totally international. And everyone had a laminate except us. So there was no way we were going to be able to get it. We got into Circus Circus at 11 at night. And we had to wait a half an hour to check in. Oh, yeah. Now I remember that story.

Over $200 a night for the fucking Circus Circus. I swore that place was torn down. But I guess it's still around. Yeah, it is. But once Bingo was on board with going to Vegas for a month, I'm like, well, I can do sets. There's comedy clubs. I can fucking work on shit.

I was already packing 10 different suits so I could be the host at Oscar's Steakhouse at the Plaza or running drinks at the Plaza or running drinks at the pool. I would have, you know how I love to be behind the bar in a fucking strange bar when it's not really my job. I was so

fucking into this Plaza Hotel. I was so goddamn into this. Let's do it. Well, yeah, and I said, I'm packing my car. Yep, well, we just heard from Hennigan. Yep, another downer.

Oh, yeah, please hold. Tomorrow, the asbestos people are back. Well, the fire sale, Tracy. What's happening with that? Oh, we are having a fire sale right now. Stan Hope Store. Lots of stuff on sale. And we, fortunately, because of the asbestos,

we still have some mesothelioma shirts left. Small and medium. Small and medium. Bingo's the one who fucking put that together. She's wearing the same mesothelioma, my disease t-shirts that I swore were going to sell like gangbusters. They've done okay. I'm like, wait, hang on.

If you're doing a fire sale, which is a very funny idea right now uh yeah mesothelioma we just tested positive for asbestos so mesothelioma this is where we put them on sale and we only have small and mediums left. So yeah. But we have lots and lots of other stuff on sale. Yeah. Please get on the fucking mailing list. Just go to DougStanup.com and sign up for the mailing list. So I don't have to fucking worry about what social media is going up or down.

It's weird when like the times where social media do kind of keep you sane. That fucking Jackie Cation Laurie Kilmartin clip they put out. That made me so goddamn happy. Very cute.

And I don't think I ever hit on either one of them, which is rare. Do you remember seeing them back in the day? Oh, yeah. We worked together. The clip is them talking about you sleeping in your car when you won the San Francisco comedy competition. And they were talking about that.

Yeah, no. They were talking about how they both had a crush on me. That's the part that mattered. Yeah. But leading into it. That's what matters. I understand that. Especially as an old hunched over man.

What they were talking about was you as a road comic that actually slept in your car. And then they talked about how the ladies had a crush on you and dudes wanted to be like you and all this stuff. And you were actually sleeping in your car. See, I'm smiling. No,

it's a fucking, I worked with Lori Kilmartin at go bananas. Uh, she was, uh, uh, Cleveland or Cincinnati. Yeah.

And she was an avid swimmer. She's swam every day. Very athletic and huge. I can't, I can't, uh, like I just, you, well. You know how you discount yourself from the fucking deal.

Don't even bother. You need someone schlubby like you if you're going to fuck somebody. Low-hanging fruit. Yeah. Is that what you call comedy store waitresses? I'm not calling anyone that.

He's saying that he... Her fruit was up high and tight. Yeah. Out of his reach. Jackie Kayshun, she fucked Becker. I'm out. Deal breaker. And gloated about

how his penis was beautiful and slender and she described the shape. She used to drink. I know, but Jackie shape. She used to drink. I know, but Jackie Cation used to drink. We

had embarrassing signatures on the green room wall at Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis where we're writing long form shit face things. I was so happy when they fucking painted over that fucking green room. Oh, my God.

Anyway, I don't know. I want to say I'm not panicked about what the fuck is going on right now. But when you're chasing down fucking strangers with a billy club, maybe you're, uh-oh, Bingo's shitting her pants. Yep. Did you trigger her with the billy club? This is about to be the okay, bye-bye now. I got it on record here.

Honey, yell okay bye bye now from the toilet. She did. Bye bye now. I don't think that was... We'll fix it in post. Hit it, Chaley. Okay, bye bye now.

Go away. No, it's... it's CRS. Hi. Hi. I'm a college nurse from CRS. How are you? Good. We were just talking about you.

Wonderful. That's wonderful. And I was just talking about you. What a coincidence. So, I just read over all of the information on your account and hopefully i am up to speed as i as i think i am um so i have that you just recently checked out of the double tree i have that you have been trying to get set up with a um airbnb um and that has just been a bit it looks like it looks like it's just

been a miscommunication on how this works and how we can get this set up for you let me i did go ahead and reach out to the plaza in vegas to see if we can get you no no that yeah you don't want to do that anymore no no if if you can do that if you can pull that off. We were just podcasting about this, and we got a call during the podcast that, oh, the rodeo. The guy that owns the or runs the head guy of the plaza tweeted, I tweeted that I should just stay there up until my New Year's show. And he goes, let's do it. And then it turns out, well, he was wrong.

He was just being cute. So, yeah. So I guess we're going back to Airbnb. That's what I'm calling here for. I'm not sure what his intention was, but I'm calling to get you some results and get you set up for you guys to go to tomorrow. Okay. Yep.

Do you, I'm going to be here until about nine. So I'm going to take a few minutes to reach out to the plaza to see if they can work a miracle for you. And if not, then I will send you at least two or three other options that can be booked tomorrow. Is there like a certain type of room that you're needing?

No, no, no. Let's just skip the plaza and just do Airbnb so I can be in town. Okay. Airbnb, that department is open tomorrow. Are you able to find any locations that work for you? Airbnbs are a customer-driven search. Yeah, no, I sent Christina the only two I found available yesterday, and she said, okay, that's approved.

You'll hear from Airbnb tomorrow, which is today. And I didn't hear from Airbnb, and I texted Christina, and she didn't respond to me. So I asked if I could switch it up to that, but she didn't respond to the plaza, which I just found out today is a no-go because they have the rodeo. You know how people love the rodeo? That's sarcastic. Everybody does. No, exactly. You know what? go because they have the rodeo you know how people love the rodeo that's sarcastic no exactly you know what the rodeo and nascar i i don't understand them but to each their own yeah that's uh either

way i it's probably let's let's say it's uh god works in mysterious. And I'll say that as an atheist. Maybe I should stay here because they found asbestos in my house. And now my rehab is going to be so much longer. Maybe I should stay in town. So can we get back to the Airbnb thing? Yes. So you have someone assigned to it. Her name is Christina.

Yeah, I know. She will be reaching out to you when she's back in office no no no Christina Fofana yeah I know how bad was her childhood with the last name Fofana sometimes I just sometimes I just have to look at parents and think how you couldn't change it just for the children. I love you so much. Well, you know, some of you got to laugh sometimes. You got another Christina assigned to you, though. Her name is Christina Otero. She works directly with Airbnb. Okay, so that's where the confusion is.

You got two Christinas on the case for you. But we got Christinaina oh she will be taken over for you beginning tomorrow it looks like christina fofana did go ahead and give the update to chris to the other christina and let them know the two airbnb locations and so i have the one yeah i have two links here and i just want to make sure that these are correct. 30 days, one cat, two adults. What? And this is all going to happen before the 28th. Did she say something about pets?

Right. Wait, did you say something about pets? Yeah, it said one cat. No, I have a cat, but it's got a place to live. People don't listen. Okay. So the cat's not coming. Let me just go ahead and know. No, there's no cat. No, I have a cat, but it's got a place to live. People don't listen. Okay. So the cat's not coming. Let me just... No, there's no cat. I mean, there's a cat, but he's staying...

Meatwig is staying with the Chalys. Do you even listen to my podcast? You will tomorrow. I feel like I should now. You know you're on it. Well, hello will tomorrow. You know, you're on it. Well, hello everyone. Location is the Cooper covered bridge with the King band with the no steps.

Right. Yeah. And I have the bungalows, the other ones, the blue moon bungalows. Yes. So we did go ahead and get those options to Miss Christina. And I will once again, I know you said forget about the plaza, but I will try once more. Sure. Give it a shot.

Give it a shot. I love you so much. If you can, I will definitely follow up. Can you be my Christina? Can I just deal with you? I wish. Unfortunately, I don't work with airbnbs at all

what part of Atlanta are you in what part of Atlanta are you in I'm in Phoenix really you never hear people say Miss Christina unless you're in the deep south I'm from Louisiana ah there you go You never hear people say Miss Christina unless you're in the deep south. I'm from Louisiana.

You can't take the girl out of the south, but you can't take the south out of the girl. I love you very much. I love you both as well. Please let us know if we can do anything for you guys in the meantime. Like I said, I got Christina on the case for tomorrow. I set up a call for her just to reach out to you when she's in office to touch base on where she is in the process. And if you have changed your mind about the Airbnb or about a hotel or anything like that in the meantime, give us a call.

We are open 24-7. I'm not here after 9, but I have a night auditor that's here that will be able to help you, okay? All right. What's your name? Tiffany. Tiffany. Love it.

Okay. So tell the other Christina, Fofana, that we're happy to sleep in a 2000 Honda CRX tonight since she didn't return my call. It's only going to get down to about 35 degrees tonight, but that's all right. We have old wet blankets that we use to clean up the fire spill from the firemen dousing our house. So they're only a little bit damp. Go ahead, Bingo. But we love Tiffany. We love Tiffany.

We love Tiffany. All right. Harry, you're going to. Thank you guys so much. Okay. You're going to hear Bingo take us out of this podcast. It's the Doug Stano podcast. It'll be out tomorrow.

And you'll be closing it out. And this is Bingo's closing remark. Okay, special for Tiffany. Okay, bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.