The Doug Stanhope Podcast - DAY 04 - Tin Can Rehab
Episode Date: February 20, 2015DAY 04Doug's self-imposed rehab to quit smoking. It's the last day of ALCO and the trouble with Lawley Chevrolet.Support the podcast with a donation or purchasing some Stanhope merch. Recorded Feb 2...0, 2015 at the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope) and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille. Intro music "30 Days In The Hole" by Humble Pie. Closing song “Summer's Gone” by Aberfeldy. Both available on iTunes.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast
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This is my Friday!
We started late. I could actually do two podcasts at once because this is the end of, uh,
almost the end of day five, but it's the day four podcast because we wrapped up day four
barely! Fucking Chaley! I was so, when I left here yesterday, this room, I was going right into smoke one of my two emergency American spirit yellers.
And I didn't.
I felt drunk enough off of two glasses of wine.
And I'll be honest, people, I fucking I said, fuck it.
I had a third drink when I decided not to smoke a cigarette.
I go, well, then I deserve a third drink.
And I had that with a couple of downers because
i'd slept all of maybe six hours in three days and so yeah i pounded a fucking uh a downer
with a third cocktail and i slept my balls out i slept almost 12 hours last night in that fucking
filthy trailer and uh i feel good about myself.
Please hold.
That's my phone.
So, yeah, yesterday was as close as I came to breaking spirit.
No pun.
And I held steady.
I woke up.
I felt great today.
It was the last day of Alco.
I forget to – we should have taken some – what do you call it?
Inventory of what we got.
Alco, I probably explained, is our little Kmart, Walmart wannabe.
It's between a dollar store and a Walmart.
And they've been going out of business.
And today was the last day.
It's just been a clock running for the last two or three months of up to 40% off and then
up to 50% off at Alco going out of business.
And now is the last day.
I went yesterday and they said, well, everything's like 80 to 90% off anyway.
But if you buy 10 or more items, you get an additional 50% off.
And I thought, all right, I can find 10 things.
It looks like a fucking yard sale.
It looks like a big yard sale.
It looks like a flea market where people just sell shit they bought like in a lot sale.
But it's all the just fucking nothing you need, but I can find stuff.
And that was so I bought a bunch of shit.
I bought 10 things, but including like a $25 backpack and a $30 pair of shorts that actually boiled down to like two dollars for the shorts that are supposed to
be 30 i got everything for 17 bucks and so today i said chaley it's the last day of alco this has
been a staple piece of shit store of ours and we have to see like the final victim so we went in
and uh yeah everything is 90 off and if you get 10 things then it's another 90
off of that and we bought what retail would have been maybe 80 worth of shit for a dollar and 17
cents and we're so dumbfounded that i just look over i go a buck 17 like let's let's do it again and we just grab
like hey we grab all the boxes of rubbers there is seven boxes of rubbers and three ept tests on
one shelf like that's 10 items we did not get the pregnancy test, but we did buy every box. These are giant boxes of rubbers.
So just because we get $1.41 for that was just those $11 boxes of rubbers.
So just that alone, that's like $77.
I paid $1.43 for the entire plus the other three things, whatever they were.
I have a short list here that I can remember.
It was seven boxes of Trojan condoms, an elk call.
What you just used to scare the fuck out of the dog.
That was $21 alone just for that.
A six-pack of –
Would have been.
It would have been.
It was a six-pack of fridge magnets, orange nail polish,
which is already,
it's like falling off the fingers.
Chase,
you try put it on a pair of 34 jean shorts.
You got me those,
the orange ones,
a God saved the queen t-shirt,
a copper tone,
suntan lotion,
and a pack of hair scrunchies.
Yeah.
Fucking suntan lotion.
That's fucking nine bucks.
Yeah.
Spray on.
Yeah.
A dollar 43 for the second round so any
merchandise orders while supplies last merchandise orders will include a uh i i saw one of the boxes
said twisted condoms and then it explained that it's a rotating groovers it's like the fucking
vortex neck on miller miller bottles yeah they this would fit inside the vortex neck perfectly It's like the fucking Vortex neck. Oh, Miller bottles.
This would fit inside the Vortex neck perfectly.
It's a beer stopper for a Vortex neck.
Just the word twisted on a box of condoms.
It's not right.
Twisted condoms.
Ow.
Indian rug burn condoms.
Stop with the twisted. So you're going to get a rubber.
If you order merchandise and you specifically don't want a rubber because your wife might open the box and go, why are you ordering rubbers through the mail?
Well, no, honey, I wanted the DVD and the T-shirt.
It's Doug Stano podcast T-shirts poster.
Well, why is there a rubber in it i don't know honey
yeah so yeah rubber's for you i'm drinking tonight by the way i'm drinking uh
two my two drinks tonight are sapporo beers and unfortunately they only come in 22 ounce cans
now you might say well that's not really two. That's like three and a half beers.
And you'd be absolutely right.
Don't fuck with me.
You talk to Sapporo about the size of these cans.
Cause it's really the teeters on the board of cheating this whole thing
away.
But I have not had a cigarette.
I've not had an upset moment until,
uh,
I did punch my iPod player in the face because it wouldn't open when
i wanted it to uh then bingo said sorry and put an ice pack on it and it opened on your hand or the
no on the thing uh so yeah i already yelped about this so i might as well just fucking yell about it
for a minute and then uh move on and end this so you can put it out.
But I have this suburban that we got last year for touring.
We need a big fucking thing.
That's why I always say the van.
We're in the van because I don't want to say the suburban because half the time I'm parked out in the fucking back and that's my green room.
So I always say the van,
so you don't try to find me in a suburban.
You're looking for a van.
And I'm only telling you it's a suburban now
because I'm getting rid of the fucking thing
after these problems.
Then I'll get something else.
Maybe I'll get a van.
How about that?
I get this notice that there's some recall on my Suburban because of some whatever fucking part that can go hinky on you.
So I ignore that.
And then I get a couple of emails saying, hey, you really should schedule a thing.
And so since I have the time off, I try to schedule a thing.
And the fucking guy they tell you to talk to, I just get a voicemail.
I'm like, hey, I'm trying to schedule an appointment for my thing because we get to fucking.
It's a long ass drive right now.
I don't care because I'm doing anything to fill time.
I go back and forth to Sierra Vista three or four times a day if I if I wanted to.
If I had reason to, I don't mind just driving around.
I got fucking time to kill and I'm sketchy.
So after so many non-calls, we go down there
and just, I had Chaley follow me.
Yeah, he followed me in a car
so I could just drop off the Suburban
in case if it's gonna take all day, we're not going to wait around.
We can go fuck off.
Hey, if it's going to be a few hours, we'll go thrifting.
We're good shoppers together, me and Chaley.
I go, I don't want to.
They don't look like my size.
Hang on, says Chaley.
And he puts the waist around his neck.
It's an old wives trick.
Like, if you put the waist around your neck and then you...
And we're like two fucking women.
Does this tie go with this?
This would look good on you.
Yeah.
Well, no, you bought those pants.
Remember the pants that were too tight?
But you've lost weight now.
So I bet that would look good.
So we're fucking groovy like that.
So we drop off the car. And Chaley goes to the service desk because he's he's the tour manager.
I let him manage while I run all over the lot looking at other cars.
And I'm looking around and the whole space where we bought the Tahoe, I mean, the suburban.
Was all full of Tahoe's and Suburban's that whole one side of the lot was like we had at least a dozen Suburbans to choose from.
So I'm like looking at the – I want to see the new models because we – I should have –
but for a little bit more, I'm already looking at the fucking price tag of a Suburban going,
this is unreasonable.
And then I thought about how much we're spending renting shit and all right maybe
when you when you were considering what it costs on the road point being that i still lowball just
because i thought ah this is stupid it wasn't but i didn't get the i just for a little more i could
have got the package you know with gps and the shit and a fucking dumb dvd player you know and yeah i won't use
but it'd keep bingo entertained like a fucking slow child me i get that picturing her with her
banky and sucking her thumb and it's like tapping on the seat tapping on the driver's seat for you
to play fucking to start her nemo to start her music video over again? Yeah.
So I'm looking at maybe possibly upgrading to a fucking,
like how much, I looked at what trade-in on that Suburban is.
We'll talk afterwards.
But it's fucking half in a year.
Well, yeah, but the miles that were – it's excessive.
Anyway.
The point is I'm looking around. It's a year old and your warranty is already up.
Yeah, it's a year old.
We couldn't get a fourth free oil change.
You wonder why I'm in fucking extended fake retirement during my fake rehab.
Yeah, we fucking burned through a warranty in a year.
Under a year.
No, yeah.
30,000 miles.
Eight months.
Yeah.
Eight months we did fucking 30 grand.
So, yeah, I'm wandering around.
Then I go, I find Chaley.
He's still there.
He had texted me.
Hey, do you want a car wash?
Yeah.
I tried to power wash? Yeah.
I tried to power wash that thing.
The only car washes you get around here are the spray washes,
the high-pressure thing, do-it-yourself, scrub it.
Or you have the touchless, which doesn't do shit. And I tried both of them on that fucking white Suburban.
And no, just as filthy.
So I'm like, yeah,
I know they'll do a fucking good job.
Well, they are advertising it.
They're saying $15 wash.
And I thought, well, it's here.
It should be a courtesy service
because we're coming in
because they fucked up the car
when they built it.
They sold me a fucking death trap.
Sent me many
letters. Remember, don't
forget, that's a death trap that we sold.
Carefully worded letters to make it
not seem like you're taking your
life in your own hands, just bringing it to
them to fix.
Yeah, oh, the fucking
loaner car. Don't let me forget that part.
So Oh, the fucking, the loaner car. Don't let me forget that part. So, what the fuck was I talking about?
The service desk, and then if you want the wash.
Yeah, the car wash.
And I said yes, because I know they're going to have to fucking do it, right?
A machine, a robot that zips around your car doesn't have to explain
why there's still fucking bugs dangling off your grill after you went with the deluxe $12 top notch wash.
Yeah.
Hey, well, talk to the change machine.
Who?
Yeah.
These guys are accountable.
And I remember when I bought the fucking thing, that was one of my biggest beefs is we had
to sit there for almost three hours because they're washing the fucking they're still
washing the car.
Well,
they did get a detail.
I'll fucking pull the plastic off the floor mat.
Just give me the fuck out of here.
I don't want to sit around here.
It's going to be dirty by the time I get home.
It's fucking buggies.
Yeah.
A lot of bugs between here and Sierra Vista.
So after all this,
okay,
we,
the,
the car is not going to be done for two days.
We'll fuck it.
We'll leave it there.
Cause Chaley is going to be back in two days.
Anyway,
the girlfriend and the dad,
Chaley goes this morning,
two days later.
And,
uh,
they say,
Oh,
well the part didn't come in,
but there's still a delivery truck for parts.
It comes,
it gets here between noon and one.
So it's probably on that.
Chances are.
Yeah.
And you're not going to wait around.
So you come home.
I'm in the fucking trailer
doing my thing,
grooving with the music.
I wrote an update
on my website for the first time
in like 15 years, I think.
It was quick.
It was the story I couldn't talk about yesterday because it's quick it was it had it was the story
i couldn't talk about yesterday because i was going to write it out so i wrote it out and there
now you can go see that about the problem that happened on night three of day four my gun
i'm in there bebopping around and all of a sudden the phone rings, and it's the guy, and I'm like, oh, shit, is the car ready?
And he's like, yeah.
And I'm like, whoa, thanks.
Wait, no.
Hey, is this?
Yeah, yeah.
I thought you'd be in this morning.
And I go, Chaley, my manager, was in this morning,
and he said that the part was going to be in between noon and 1.
Well, no one told me that.
It was just some, hey, well, let me call the whatever,
and I'll call you right back in five minutes.
And he calls back and goes, yeah, that part, that's a,
I forget how he phrased it.
It's a nationwide something,
meaning the fucking part doesn't exist anywhere in the fucking world
right now. Well, when you have to replace
75,000
electronic
systems in the
suburbans, yeah, there's going to be
a shortage. That's what made me the most upset
about this whole fucking
kerfuffle and debacle
is the fact that this was a
nationwide fucking recall. Don't act like
I'm the first guy to respond
to mass
emails and letters,
snail mails, and please get
your shit in here. Don't act
like I'm...
Recall?
That is the...
I don't recall. Get it? No, I don't
fucking get it. They kept asking you to come down and take care of this.
Tootsweet, let's do this.
And then we come down and say, well, hold on now.
We got to get the part.
Why were you emailing and calling?
Yeah.
That's why the fucking service manager, Herb Santa Maria,
is his fucking name at Lolly.
Nobody beats a Lolly deal.
I'm Sean Lolly.lly hey if there's a
fucking hacker out there get sean lolly's information and you don't mean that you don't
mean that why i want to fucking know where he lives you go to the uh joy check out our staff
at lolly automotive uh their website oh yeah yeah everyone has a phone number but the top guy i just
want his fucking phone don't worry i don't need a hacker just call down there they're fucking rubes they're hayseeds
they're fucking rubes i'll just keep calling down i used to do telemarketing i don't need a
sorry hackers i wouldn't put you out for such a fucking easy job i get fucking bernie ebers
fucking second in command on the phone and made him capitulate.
And look up Bernie Ebers.
He's still in prison.
Anyway, I'm way off topic.
But my whole life is off topic right now.
They say there's no such part.
Like, all right, Chaley already came back.
This is a 70 mile round trip
Each time we go to Sierra Vista
To drop off the car to begin with
Because they wouldn't set an appointment
To come back
Then Chaley comes back
Now we have to go a third time
Because
Or you want to leave your car here
Until they fucking make a part
And ship it
Well they can't even tell you when
Or how They're going to get it
yeah which is that's what's amazing yeah yeah and this guy who's so awkward clint is his name
at the fucking service desk i show up and i expect like gushing apologies for fucking us over
and he goes and the car wash.
And I'm like, oh, I'm going to get a fucking free car wash
is what I'm thinking.
Yeah, we got your car wash.
I thought they probably didn't even do that,
where I was already to fucking pounce on him.
Like, oh, it's been sitting there for two days?
I was ready to yell at someone anyway.
I'm always, like, I'm getting cuntier in a good way.
Because for the first few days of this trailer rehab thing,
I was almost too calm where all my natural cuntiness went away.
And now that's coming back.
So I was ready to yell at someone.
And I was about to yell at him for not, oh, it sat here for two days while you're waiting for a part you couldn't fucking wash it yeah were you waiting for soap and water the fuck
but it was clean or it was it had been what the car wash assured by clint yeah 15 dollars is a
big sign behind them it's 150 for the full detailing it's this for an engine cleaning car wash 15 bucks it's
a fucking great deal if you can get it actually washed anywhere within 100 miles literally tucson
is if someone's gonna put a sponge in a bucket and scrub your car that's a deal out here it's a child's, like, you know, Bisbee High School junior varsity field hockey team car wash to raise funds is a better car wash than, like, the jet wash you get in Sierra Vista.
Because they're actually touching your car with a sponge.
So he said, yeah, your car, it was so filthy.
The guy spent two days just on your car.
He didn't do anything else.
So we figured we're just going to charge you twice, $50 twice.
So it'll be $30 because I figure, and then he's muttering,
like him and the car wash guy actually sat down and fucking
served justice what's an appropriate sentence for this amount of filth like
the car was not filthy by any stretch of the imagination the car and he did back up and say
this afterwards well he wasn't really filthy it had had a lot of dog hair, and that stuff is murder to get out.
Just the dog hair, and it is.
It's a fucking nightmare.
It was not that much dog hair.
It's not like other cars we've had.
And I didn't express any interest
in there being an interior going over.
This was just, I wanted it washed on the outside.
That's all.
The $15 wash.
I didn't expect him to detail the inside.
I never considered these.
I was talking about all that fucking bug matter and shit
that I would have had to scrub.
I would have had fucking Derek do this.
You know, it would have taken Derek the same two days to wash a car.
Anyway.
So he says, I'm going to charge, we're charging you double.
And then he's muttering about because, you know, instead,
because you see on the sign and it says uh suvs 15 more and it's i thought if you just
did the one wash twice because that's what and i i didn't even i just i don't give a fuck just get
me out of here it's 30 bucks i know it's you fucking me. But rather than sit and have you mutter and make up fucking excuses, just get me out of here.
And so he sends me over to the pay girl and I pay her and I go outside and the fucking car is filthy.
The car.
I wipe my hand across the white glove test.
But with a bare hand.
Yeah.
It looks like it's fucking been sitting outside for a fucking year.
And I catch him.
He's walking back.
He just walked customers out and he's walking back in and I'm about to
storm in and go,
fuck you.
Like,
all right,
I already smiled you off enough times.
And this, you're going to fucking charge me double,
which is fucking hugely illegal.
I mean, it has to be to just go,
oh, we decided it's more after the fact.
Yeah, you can't do that.
You ask if, hey, we're going to have to run this through again,
or you just fucking take it, you know?
Yeah.
And he's so fucking dumb that you want to yell at him, but I know it's not him.
I know he thinks, well, this is right.
Well, you know, we figured.
He didn't say the normal policy is to charge double, which it couldn't possibly be.
The policy is 15% more.
We figured, no, 15% more is for SUVs.
Yeah, for the SUV.
Okay.
There's no language on there that says if we feel, if Clint feels it's not clean enough, we're going to run it through again.
There's none of that on there.
They're very specific about what they're going to
charge you for. Right, and you can't
negotiate that with
yourself after the fact.
He said... What I think
is right. Like, they're both
getting fucking drunk
drinking 40s in the back yard.
You know what we ought to do?
I think fair is fair. Run it through again.
There's no run it through. There's a guy deciding when it's clean enough.
And here's the thing.
Even in the fucking drink holder, when I get inside, not only was the outside fucked up,
but the inside where the drink holder is, there's splotches of just spilled beverage.
You can see when you're looking for cleanliness and you go that
was like a licked thumb away and that's clean like i lick my thumb and then do this and they
didn't even wipe a wipe a fucking wet paper towel over that and you're gonna tell me what well we
just me we figured charging if someone comes in with their fucking car cleaner than you expected, do you give them 50%?
Like, here's half your money back.
We didn't have to work as hard as we thought.
Yeah.
It looked dirty, but it certainly wasn't dirty.
These prices are up to our second guessing after you sign the paper.
I didn't tell you this, but when I requested the car wash, because I saw it, and it's this very nice sign.
You texted me. I was all the way on the Hyundai side of the lot.
So it says the deluxe wash is a complete clean inside and out, $150.
And there's another one for $90.
And then there's the $15 and i said hey would it be
too much to get this washed when when it's done we're gonna be back in a couple days you said
it's gonna be a couple days and he goes uh which wash did you want and i said just just the outside
you know the 15 wash would be fine he goes i gotta get approval for that i can do the 150
but i need to get approval from my manager oh that's what i get
that's what i had to get back to is today when i go can i get a loaner car before like he even
called and found out that part doesn't exist he had to call me back and find i go well can i at
least get a loaner car oh well we don't uh yeah i'd have to get approval on that because we don't normally.
Normally, the rule is if your car is drivable.
Well, you told me.
You told me it's not.
That's why I'm here.
Yeah, you told me that this car could fucking drop dead at any second in the middle of the fucking car.
While driving, underway, you could lose power.
That's why we've come in here to drop this off.
Well, I'd have to get approval.
That's again, that's why you don't want to fucking yell at this guy.
This guy is just fucking dumb as shit.
He's a fucking big-headed Hoosier, moron, fucking hayseed.
But you can't make decisions like this, Clint Wood.
I wish there was a longer version of clint
did you try to winterson eastwood where did you get clint wood
uh so yeah so i just fucking i went out and i wiped my hand i go look at this and i showed him
my fucking mud brown hand i'm'm going, this is filthy.
And he's like, well, it rained.
It rained.
You can ask anyone inside.
He said that.
He said that.
He goes, ask anyone inside.
It rained here.
And now it's blowing dust and stuff.
I go, I don't give a, you can't present a fucking car.
All I do, you just charged me double, Clint. And I try to be calm. And I do, you just charged me double, Clint.
And I try to be calm.
And I go, you just charged me double, which you can't do.
You can't renegotiate a price without my being part of the negotiations.
It's just, well, it says on the sign 15%.
This is 100%. This is 100%.
I just realized I put 50% in that Yelp review.
That's wrong.
My math is wrong.
But point being, yeah, that has nothing to do with any of this.
And when he started arguing, I got, it says on this, all right, forget it.
I already sent you to sushi
and I said, order for me.
I'll be right there
and I'm not going to fucking
let my sushi get warm.
So I said, fuck it.
I'm just going to torture
Herb Santa Maria,
the service manager
who never returned my calls.
I'm going to fucking haunt him.
Yeah, it's at,
if you read that Yelp
review, it's at
lollyautomotive. But don't just be
pricks to them. If you don't have
some creative angle,
I don't have
one either. I have nothing.
I've written two things. They both
stink.
I'll get my sea legs under me
don't you worry my entire process of
writing anything is screwed where you
write out the fucking meat of it sober
so you get all the bullet points and the
main and then you sit on it overnight
you get shit faced and make put all the
funny parts in
and then you rewrite that
again
somewhere in between
so the fact that I'm
writing anything you should be fucking
you should worship me
worship me
I'm a fucking
I'm like that guy crawling out of the
fucking jungle with without
legs all right i don't have a guy there i don't even have a reference um are you talking about
platoon i'm not sure i'm not i'm not even sure one of your dreams maybe it's a fucking great dream. Actually, don't tweet Lolly Automotive like it's Troy Holm, if you remember that.
But if you have a cute angle, maybe you want to call up the service desk and say,
yeah, how much does it cost for a car wash if my car is this dirty?
And then start explaining specific patches of dirt or things you might have
in the backseat and go, okay.
And then once they give you a price, go, okay.
Cause they'll save a $15 and you go, okay.
But what if there's a vomit stain?
Vomit stain more?
Okay.
Cause I heard that you guys kind of decide after the fact.
So I want to be up front.
I did clip my toenails, and there's an ashtray in the back seat.
Yeah, it's a 95.
They still had ashtrays.
So how much would it be if I asked you, like if I say specifically you don't have to do the toenails all right so if you
have an original angle or just want to keep doing that one over and over lolly chevrolet
lolly chevrolet I stutter more when I'm fucking sober. Lolli Chevrolet 2900 East Fry Sierra Vista.
Nobody beats a Lolli deal.
Nobody.
Yeah, just leave it alone.
Let me fucking deal with it.
You can involve them in tweets
should people start talking about it.
That's what I'm going to do.
Then I'm going to find every fucking person responsible.
I'm going to holler at them.
So I don't holler at my wife and scream at my dog and all the things I would
take that all this pent up aggression.
I found a deserved audience for my hatred and pain.
And until then,
Hey,
uh,
we're sponsored by quick announcements before I get to the fucking email of
the,
of the,
of the,
the week,
big announcements.
I think I came out of retirement accidentally today when I was in a good
mood with my manager.
I said,
yeah,
we should probably book that.
And he's like,
ah,
fuck that. I think I yeah, we should probably book that. And I'm like, ah, fuck.
I think I just came out
of retirement
too quickly.
So, yeah.
There's no U.S.
dates in the works.
If it's not in the U.S., it doesn't
count. It's kind of like American
spirits don't count if it's after midnight
and you drank 22 ounces
of support
Greg Chaley
hit the donate button or buy something
buy some merch, it helps the podcast
stay commercial free
for about 40 more seconds.
What other Marilyn Manson minute I'm working on that?
I'm not.
I'm trying to.
Yeah.
You got some of the requested episodes coming in?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I get some requested episodes, and they're mostly ones I'm familiar with.
Show me one that's a fucking. like, tell me one that you go,
this is what you have to avoid.
Your own podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So just tweet, Doug, if you have a suggestion.
Oh, after that one, after the Betty one, it's all been downhill.
You think this rehab is going to bring it back up?
Fucking, I would fucking
crush your fucking face.
I could really honestly
brutally fucking hurt you.
Just fucking that, you know that big wrench
like thing
that's built into the cement wall here?
It's a big like a three open
end box wrench. Yeah, it's like
three feet long. It's like a tractor.
I could smash that guy's fucking eye socket.
What's that?
That's the orbital bone right there.
Yeah, but underneath that, this is a nasal cavity bone.
Yeah, just crush that.
Sinus cavity right there.
Sinus cavity, that's what I'm looking for, yeah.
Fuck you.
That's what I'm looking for.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Sometimes, like, if you think you get under my skin or you think you're trolling me, you're not.
I'm already under my skin.
My skin already feels like this anger you have no idea the fucking time and energy i will put in to finding what you hold sacred and ruining it and you'll
never know it's because you were a smart fuck once on the internet and all that all that shit just collapsed little by little and god damn it she was crying
and there was nothing i could do yeah there was something you could have done you could
have thought ahead of time when something seemingly unrelated fell apart and it looked like it was all your fault. Well, it was.
Just not in the way it looked.
We're sponsored this week
by a podcast, another podcast.
And let me just read this quickly,
and we'll get the fuck out of here.
I don't even have a song.
I don't have that.
God, here's that list. I'll pick a song to I don't even have a song. I don't have that God, here's that list.
Then I'll pick a song to close
on. I have a list.
Alright. You got access
to more of your songs last night, right?
Some more. Oh, not last night. No.
The Cloud. Didn't we pull them down
from your other purchases?
So you should have more.
I'm going soft on this one.
I'm going wicked soft.
All right.
Now I'll go.
Yeah, I'll go weird, soft.
Yeah, I'm going weird on this.
Yeah, I'm going.
I'm going to go with me and Bingy's song.
One of the many.
All right.
This is a email I got.
From the Peldma, P-E-L-D-M-A, Peldma Podcast.
Subject, advertising podcasting.
Greetings, it says.
I do a podcast.
I like doing it, and I actually put effort into it.
I don't wish to ask something for nothing and expect any results.
So I would like to ask for some feedback on my podcast.
And if Doug likes it enough to plug it, I would consider it an ad for my show and send you $200 or something.
$200 or something.
And if it is not liked, I would still pay for feedback on my show from a professional order like Doug.
I'm trying to get some feedback or response to see if people like it.
So I'm trying to find ways I thought were honest and direct to get my show
seen more and see if it'll either stand or fall on its own i'm just writing this letter to be
transparent and say hey if you look at my show mr benson and give me some feedback, I'll put in my own dot, dot, dot.
The rest is pretty much no reason to read that out loud.
And if Doug likes it enough, I'll send him $200 or something.
And even if he doesn't like it,
I would always pay for feedback from a professional order like Doug.
So look, if you like it, Mr. Benson, if this was a fucking troll,
that is the best fucking troll email ever.
And it's not because it goes on and just fucking plugs where you can find it.
That's the Peltma podcast.
So, hey Hey Doug Benson
If you need $200
So yeah fuck with that guy
I'll fuck with the Lolli
Toyota
Lolli Chevrolet
I can't talk
Alright that's
That's way too much fucking podcast.
We have 46 minutes.
Yeah.
Let's dump this whole thing.
All right.
Jaylee has to go to bed to get this out in time.
He's got one minute to sleep.
Play,
uh,
play a cute song tonight. One of the many songs i've learned in the last decade i've learned
more songs from commercials than from any other source and this is one and now it's me and bingy
song and it's aberfeldy playing summer's Gone. One, two, one, two, three.
Well, we get along.
Yeah, we really do.
And there's nothing wrong with what I feel for you.
I could go with you, you, you, if you want me to.
I could hang around till the leaves are brown and the summer is gone.
What a silly thing for me to say to you
As the spring begins to begin anew
And I know that it's hard, hard, hard
When you're loving the sky
And the leaves are brown and they're falling down
And the sun is gone
And I can't wait anymore for you I've spent the weekend, you've given me nothing
I can't wait anymore for you
I'm feeling strong, the summer's gone
But I won't give up
And I won't give in
And I know it's tough
But I aim to win
And I couldn't give in And I know it's tough But I aim to win
And I couldn't get away from you
Even if I wanted to
So I hang around till the leaves are brown
And the summer's gone
And I can't wait anymore for you
Spent the weekend you give me nothing
I can't wait anymore for you. Spend the weekend, you give me nothing.
I can't wait anymore for you.
I'm feeling strong, the summer's gone.
I can't wait anymore for you.
Spend the weekend, you do me nothing.
I can't wait anymore for you.
I'm feeling strong, the summer's gone And I can't wait anymore for you I can't wait anymore for you
I can't wait anymore for you
Feeling strong
The summer's gone
I can't wait anymore for you, I'm feeling strong, the summer's gone.
I can't wait anymore for you, I can't wait anymore for you, I can't wait anymore for you, I'm feeling strong, the summer's gone.
What I got to do, what I got to see, it was you It was only me And I know that it's hard, hard, hard
When you look in the sky
And the leaves are brown
As I'm falling down
And the summer's gone
And I can't wait anymore for you
Spend the weekend, you give me nothing
Can't wait anymore for you Spend the weekend, you give me nothing
I can't wait anymore for you
I'm feeling strong, the summer's gone
I can't wait anymore for you
Spend the weekend, you do me nothing
I can't wait anymore for you
I'm feeling strong, the summer's gone