The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Doug Stanhope Podcast #541 - "Proxicologist Call #3"

Episode Date: February 11, 2024

Doug Stanhope Podcast #541 - "Proxicologist Call #3" Doug taken mental health questions submitted by viewers and introduced them into a call with a licensed psychologist. This is Call #3 or Proxicoligist. Thank You Patreon Subscribers. We could not do this without your ongoing support.Disclaimer: We understand the importance of mental health and the sensitivitysurrounding it. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, please seek help from a qualified professionalor contact local mental health services for support.Remember, you are not alone, and there is help available. Take care of yourself and prioritize your mental well-being. Recorded January, 2024 via Zoom in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope) and Dr. A. Signed copies of the NEW Hard Back cover "No Encore For The Donkey" available while supplies last at Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know. LINKS - Hello Fresh - Go to HelloFresh.com/STANHOPEFREE and use code STANHOPEFREE for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That’s free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com/STANHOPEFREE with code STANHOPEFREE. HelloFresh: America’s #1 Meal Kit DraftKings - Support the show and shake up the Super Bowl. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STANHOPE. New customers can bet $5 to get 200 instantly in bonus bets. Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant TOUR DATES - https://www.dougstanhope.com/tour-dates Photo by StanhopeSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Hello HelloFresh that's right HelloFresh whether you're trying to save money eat better or stress less HelloFresh is here to help you do all three say hello to your most delicious year yet with fresh ingredients and chef crafted recipes at a price you like delivered right to your door go to hellofresh.com slash Stanhope free and use code Stanhope free for free breakfast for life one breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash Stan Hope free with code Stan Hope free. Hey, these, uh, these episodes are titled proxy colleges because it's,

it's, uh, therapy by proxy. You, Maybe you can't afford online therapy. Maybe I get it for free. So what I did, because I don't have enough problems, I had you email your problems to me so I could take them to a therapist as though they're my own problems, even if they don't sync up with my problems and your problems,

and then it's a cacophony of problems. But then we try to see if they don't sync up with my problems and your problems. And then it's a cacophony of problems, but then we try to see if they have anything to say that would give you free advice. So that's the premise we call proxy colleges. Let's get to the episodes. Okay. Hey, this is episode three of proxy colleges. And this I I turned it around a little since I had already cherry picked the best of the emails I took some overriding themes of the emails like uh substance abuse and sexual abuse and this is that and then I I I put a funny spin on it so this this is kind of prank call-ish in a way. This was the hardest one to do without laughing.

I shouldn't have done it at whatever, noontime with my first glass of wine. But they don't schedule online therapy at 9 p.m. It's just not what they do. So a very difficult time. And bingo's actually right off camera. And every time I'd hear her go, ah, I'd go. So yeah, when you see my tardive dyskinesia face twitching and stuff,

that's me trying to hold back a laugh. And this woman was highly unamused. Okay, enjoy Proxy College Fist, episode three. Hello. Stan, there might be an echo here. I think, yeah, there is a little bit of an echo. I I don't know from your end maybe if you could place the microphone or the microphone I guess in your computer or your phone

just a little bit away from you I know it's kind of hard but hopefully that's good. Yeah, I don't hear the echo now. Okay, maybe I was a little too close.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there it is. You got it. And we're all set now. Oh, okay, it's good now. All right. So, yeah, it is. It is, okay. It's good now. All right. So, good to meet you. Yeah, it is. Good to meet you.

Yes. And so, before we begin today, again, welcome to the show. And can I call you Stan? Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Your first name? Yeah, Stan. Most people call me Stan at the meat department at the Safeway store. They call me Stan. My postman calls me Stan. Okay, great, great. Okay, well, before we begin here, maybe you could tell me if you have any questions about that. I don't have any questions.

I do have just a few things. I took some notes. I do have a very faulty memory, so I write a lot of things down. I also want to just warn you, I don't know if there's a name for it, but it's my tendency that when I'm a bit nervous, I tend to laugh sometimes. And sometimes that's off-putting. I don't like people to think I'm laughing at them or making jokes. I just, it's a nervous tick of some sort. Well, thank you. Thank you for telling me about that that's great um so now i understand i uh i listen to a lot of the of the self-help doctor programs and on the both the podcasts and

the videos and on the television um so what i do i have sometimes i forget of what i have problems and um and then i forget about them and then I I feel like oh that must not have been a big deal until it happens again so what I've done is I've written a lot of emails to myself as though um I was writing to one of my uh my doctor as I watch on the tv so I I could just read some of my letters to you. That would be great. That would be great. I'd like that. And the other thing is you can, if you have

a cell phone, you can just take a picture of those and then upload those onto your webpage. Well, I'm a little bit of, maybe it's vanity, but my spelling is just atrocious, and I would be gutted if someone were to actually look.

I know what I meant when I read it, but sometimes I'm sure my spelling is atrocious. My GED coach would have rolled over in his grave if he saw some of these spellings. his grave if he saw some of these spellings. Well, in my case, I really don't mind at all. You know, if I can make sense out of it, and if it's something that you wrote spontaneously,

that's really important. You know, I hope I can get to know you better in that way. Yeah. I mean, I'll just gloss over some of these. Some of these I just feel. Okay, sure.

I did have one session with a lady therapist, and I felt uncomfortable with some of these, so I wanted to get to one first this is one I wrote Dear Dr. Drew who's one of my heroes

he didn't respond I said Dear Dr. Drew I've been a fan since I was 16 and I think that you're a very handsome dreamboat. I can skip all that. These aren't necessarily issues as I've had time to work through them for the most part. I'll give you the basic rundown and let you add in your two cents. The first vagina that I ever touched was my half-sister's when I was about five and she was 10 or 11. Years later, my actual sister was visiting from her place states

away and her and I had smoked some marijuana and were really high. She rested her head on my lap, which I didn't think anything of at the time, but I did pick up on a sort of sexual energy. A few minutes later, I thought she was asleep and suddenly her hand reached up and grabbed my how do you do in my privates through my basketball shorts. I pushed her hand away thinking that she was just moving, you know. She looks up at me and says, you know you want it, which is what she said. And it was very disconcerting. But she did release me and started to perform oral in a passionate way. And at some point I just gave in to it.

This continued for several nights until she wanted to achieve penetration. She wanted to. And that's where I drew the line, which i feel that's one of the issues i think that's a weird place to draw a line after what we'd already done but i did draw a line i'm glad you did yeah yes so am i but the where the pain comes uh was a day or so after that my sister left my mother died suddenly from drug-related complications. They were able to bring her back, but she's brain dead and she never woke up. I wasn't that close with my mother towards the end. few years later after this, my father, who had been seeing a woman that was very emotionally

manipulative, ended up shooting and killing her before turning the gun on himself. My dad was my best fried. See, Dr. A, I said my dad was my best fried instead of friend. In a story like that, I would not want you to see my typos. So obviously, this is an extremely specific story. And I don't really have the type of friends I can talk to about things like this, especially at work. So I brought it up in this session. I don't know if that might be the reason I have. Well, I don't know. You tell me.

I have what some would call sexual dysfunction that maybe would have arisen from these early experiences with my family. But I don't care to have sex. i just don't have a drive for it it's not that i i couldn't perform i just choose not to is is that an issue well uh you know as we work together um i think that this will all kind of tie in to the other things that we do work on. But I do think it is an issue. You know, I hear you say, I just don't have the interest. Right. And certainly that is your choice there. I sometimes question, if I didn't have an interest in eating

and say eating was not something that i had to do to stay alive if eating was just a and people found that odd that you wouldn't want to eat or what would i would i would it be in my best interest to get some type of therapy or take medications that made me want to eat just so I'm like everyone else if I'm very comfortable in not having sex? Well, I, you know, I, again, I think that that is your choice here and it's your preference. And I hope that she'll honor that you know you're saying the urge just isn't there

it's her body you know in other words you're not doing any harm by not having sex yeah and when I did have that several days of uncomfortable circumstances with my sister, it wasn't half bad.

I mean, but since then, I've just kind of grown away from that activity. Yeah. Well, you have every right to feel that way. Yeah. Well, you have every right to feel that way. And if it is, I mean, who am I or who is anybody to say that that's a problem for you? Right. I just I feel like some people would say, oh, you were you were taken advantage of by a family member. So that's the reason. But I might as well. I might have just just maybe I just don't care for the smells or something, you know, or whatever it might be. I mean, if if you ever do get the urge, then that would be a different story. But if you don't right now, then then it really is not a problem. then it really is not a problem.

Okay. But just know that if you ever did or if there was ever a change, that you and I could talk about that. I'm going to think on that some more. I'm glad that you did kind of validate what I was thinking, that I might not be all that. Here's another letter I wrote. It says, Dear Dr. Phil, I'm a big fan of Dr. Drew, but he has not responded to any of my calls or transmissions. I'll try to keep this short.

I've self-diagnosed with generalized anxiety and depression. I talked to one female psychologist but kept a lot from her. I have a binge eating disorder to the point of engorgement-induced bulimia at times, then a dash of anorexia when I detox from binging. I probably have schizophrenia, auditory and visual hallucinations at times. Also, the sensation that there's a person standing next to me when I'm alone. See, I look. It's just sometimes there feels, I don't know if this is a common thing where you just feel like someone's standing there and you see, I probably have a touch of autism because I don't have much of a filter and tend not to pick up on subtle social clues a touch of neurosis and a splash of rumination uh i and this is where i go into uh what happened to me with it uh the uh when i was a child where i don't have i have intimacy issues uh self-isolation uh Sometimes I do a climax randomly with no stimulation, just doing mundane daily activities and sometimes nocturnal emissions. Trust issues,

I've had a hard time forming healthy, long-lasting relationships with most people. most people procrastination and generally laying in bed all day from the being in a free state of the overwhelming see all my typos typos typos typos overwhelming of my insignificant little problems probably narcissism or bpd because i tend to be self-centered, jealous, and insufferable with anyone who has me for longer than a day or so. Is type 2 diabetes psychosomatic? Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it psychosomatic. In other words, there are some very real metabolic reasons for type 2 diabetes. And of course, that gets into you probably are familiar with nutrition,

and there's quite a bit of literature on type 2 diabetes. It might be really of interest to you to go into some of that and to look at if you know if you feel that you have type 2 diabetes now have you been uh have you gotten blood work from your doc i think this falls under where i sometimes i get that paranoia and i'm a little what's the word where you think you're always sick? Hypochondriac. Where I, yeah, I don't but what if I'm right? I'm afraid of doctors because I don't like needles and

I sometimes think they lie to me. Well, I think that just like, you know, I think that doctors have their own, they're beings, and they have their own issues here. But usually, if you could get a test result, it might set your mind at ease. Yeah, I take a lot of notes, and sometimes I forget to read them,

I take a lot of notes and sometimes I forget to read them because I was once shot with a beanbag gun at a demonstration by the police and it caused me a traumatic brain injury. Oh, my. I have serious issues with forgetfulness. That's why I have all these series of emails to remind me of things I've gone through and where right now I don't feel anything at all. I feel very comfortable talking to you. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. And, you know, I find you to be very interesting too. So I add you're very forthright. You have notes here and you had questions and you shared with me some of your letters so far so i'm really i'm really glad we have you don't see you don't see anything over my shoulder if you did you would tell me yes yes i would i certainly would i don't see anything over your

thank you yeah yeah all right i've yammered on long enough. Who's up for commercials? Hey, whether you're trying to save money, eat better, stress less, doesn't matter. HelloFresh is here to help you do all three. Say hello to your most delicious year yet with fresh ingredients and chef-crafted recipes at a price you'll like and delivered right to your door. No more staring blankly in the fridge wondering what to make for dinner. Give HelloFresh a try and dig into the biggest menu yet with over 45 recipes to choose from each week. HelloFresh is packed with farm fresh ingredients and everything arrives pre-portioned

right to your doorstep for less hassle and less wasted food. So you decided to actually sit down and eat dinner around the table this year? But what about those nights when your schedule is packed? Turn to HelloFresh's lineup of quick and easy meals, including their 15-minute recipes designed to help you minimize mealtime stress. That's even quicker than delivery. Hey, you know they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day and HelloFresh agrees. In fact they're giving all subscribers free breakfast for life. That means you'll enjoy a totally free breakfast item with every single HelloFresh delivery. See that's what I'm doing with the Super Bowl this year Chaley. I'm using Super

Bowl as a reason to dump every half-eaten, half-full tater tots. Well, there's maybe a portion and a half. All of that shit is going out. My refrigerator will stay clean except for the necessaries. And I'm doing HelloFresh for a month of just HelloFresh. No more problems. No more mess. No more leftovers.

I know what I want and I'm getting it. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Stan Hope Free and use code Stan Hope Free for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash Stan Hope Free with code Stan Hope Free. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. And we're back. One Meal Kit. And we're back. But, you know... What is borderline personality disorder? Well, let's see if I can just kind of summarize it.

I mean, there are books written on it, and there's also a definition in the DSM-5 on borderline personality disorder. But keep in mind that with it being a personality disorder, it's something that is very much part of who you are. So it's not just a little characteristic. So that's why I would really, I don't know you yet, really. But I wouldn't want to jump to a personality

disorder because it's a really big part of your whole existence. Yeah. The personality disorder. And borderline is being extremely sensitive to being around other people.

Let me just write that down. Because I have read several books about borderline personality. And I've read a lot of the DSM-5. I just forget what I... I don't retain it. Don't have borderline BPD don't have it you stupid idiot I knew I was probably wrong about that one well we just don't want to jump to that right you know we i mean um you know maybe i could give you a better idea after we get to know each other but i'm glad that you read about it you know and that you're really searching here and you know with, because you had questions about type 2 diabetes and, you know, the easiest way to figure that out is to, you know, have a blood test.

Yeah, I put sugar in my coffee with the creamer. And so that's what made me think I might have type 2 diabetes because that's one of the leading causes of it I heard is sugars. Yeah, sugars. Yeah. So, you know, a little bit in your coffee probably wouldn't. Well, that's why I have the bulimia is to try to get purge a lot of the sugar I put in my coffee in the morning.

So I only really throw up breakfast so what do you normally have for breakfast coffee with cream and sugar that's your whole breakfast pretty much I tend to get a nervous belly when I know that I'm going to make myself sick. Oh, I see.

I see. Well, you know, we could talk about maybe some options there, because there could be other ways of handling breakfast. Right. ways of handling breakfast, which might make it easier for your body to digest what you're eating. They used to say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but then I heard that that guy was lying. Well, or didn't know.

You know, now today they say that the most important meal of the day is your midday meal. Right. Yeah, the one in the middle of the day. And that's your evening meal should be light. Right. evening meals should be like. Right. That's also my problem with insomnia is that sometimes the middle of the day is where I'm finally asleep. And so my middle of the day breakfast would come in the middle of the night would be lunchtime, I would guess, but my schedule is off. Do you have any tips for being able to sleep without screaming? Oh, I think that we could certainly work on that as far as sleep regularity. Now, tell me a little bit about your life here, you know, in terms of

what is your everyday life? You mentioned here that you do work in a deli, is that right? Oh, at a grocery store? No, I, well, I'm currently unemployed because of recent issues that I had, but when I was working, I had issues with my people I work with. I didn't get a lot, like I said in the letter, I have a hard time maintaining any kind of healthy relationship, even on a professional basis, because I tend to think people are looking down on me or talking badly about me behind my back as though they might have read my letters. Okay. Well, I hope that you know that I am all for you.

And I will not be talking behind your back. That's just not part of who I am. But I'm glad that you've asked that. In a way, you've asked that question. Yeah, I try to stay away from, I don't have the Facebooks and the whatnots because I don't like people knowing all about me which is one of the reasons I've had a hard time getting into therapy but you seem uh like someone that seems trustworthy well thank you I appreciate that I I hope I will uh be able to live up to your

your interest in uh in having a trusting relationship because I am trustworthy. And whatever you say here will not go any further. It's just between you and I. So one of my

problems with the night terrors I guess they're called, with the waking up screaming is that I do sleep during the day because of my insomnia. Usually when I wake up screaming, the neighbors

are awake to hear it. I didn't know if you had maybe any tips for insomnia. I've heard that over-the-counter sleep aids are not something that you want to take too often because you gain a tolerance. Is that correct? Yeah, that is the case, yeah.

Now when you mention insomnia, you mean you have a hard time sleeping at night? Yes. I do all the things. I'll drink warm milk. I've taken melatonin and I just end up staring at the ceiling or staring at my cat, Mr. Bimbles, who I think can read my mind. Do you think that, you know, that it's something that you want to do? Do you want to sleep through the night? Is that something that... It'd be accurate to say that, like, sometimes I'd like to sleep through the night. Does that make me crazy?

No. I'm really not thinking about whether you're crazy. That's the furthest thing. But I am wondering if that's even something you want to do. In other words, there are people who are nocturnal. But I am wondering if that's even something you want to do. In other words, there are people who are nocturnal. There are people who, you know, who stay up at night. This brings me back to when I have nocturnal emissions,

it's usually in broad daylight and I sleep in a hammock on my porch. Oh, I mean, it's during the day. Yeah. Yeah. I like the rocking sensation that I get when I'm sleeping in a hammock. It kind of rocks me to bed, and I feel like I'm five years old again, being rocked and then touching my sister inappropriately. It all comes full circle, doesn't it? Yeah, I mean, it's always, I mean,

you did share that with me pretty soon, you know, after we first met here. Yeah, I was just picking the letters at random. Yeah, it's very much in your mind about that incident. Yeah. Well, I just happened to pick that letter first. Yeah. Yeah. But I could see that it's always kind of there.

And that must really feel very, you know, very bad, you know, inside of you. you know, very, you know, very bad, you know, inside of you. I wish I could get back to work since I've been unemployed. I had my biggest issue with my employment was my boss tried to be funny all the time and I didn't find him funny. But it seemed that anyone who didn't laugh at his jokes would get fired because he was abusive an alcoholic and a cocaine head um and he right yes so everyone was what kind of work were you in I uh I was uh that was working on a loading dock as a stagehand type of situation, moving things. And the boss was a real, he was a blowhard.

I'll just say it. He was a blowhard. And I didn't find him funny. But I forced myself to laugh, which was fine because I have the nervous laughing condition where he just make me nervous as though I was going to get fired. And I'd go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ten years I did, and I feel like I have maybe post-traumatic stress disorder from just being living alive for eight to 10 hours a day, every day for 10 years. You had this job for 10 years?

Yes, 10 years. Well, it's a long time, you know, and you say you were just not yourself. You couldn't be yourself during that time. Right. I feel like I've disassociated from myself and maybe I'll never come back. Well, I

think you will. I think you will. I have faith in that. Have you ever seen the Jimmy Fallon? No, I haven't. This gentleman was very much like the Jimmy Fallon on the late night Tonight Show who's also very unfunny.

And he was so much like him, I can't even put on the Jimmy Fallon show because it takes me back. It's triggering. That's the new word, triggering. Yes, yes. Well, hop on. Now, when did you lose your job job that was just over a year ago and there's some part-time jobs that i've had since then i've been sporadic and that's why i say it's it's hard for me to stay in a job situation because i feel like i i'm so afraid of people now I tend to either quit or be terminated because of my

attitude and my lack of discipline and for attitude and sometimes I just stink. Well, I don't get that impression at least. That's not how I see you here. Have you ever just frozen up because of your nerves? Oh, certainly. We all, I mean, they call it the freeze response.

Right. And it sounds like you had that with your previous boss. Right. Sometimes someone will just yell out while I'm at work and they'll just yell out something and I just freeze. They'll just give an order

just going, hey, you. And I just go, ah, I don't know what to say. Did you have, I mean, you had this job for 10 years, but have you ever had a job which was comfortable for you? Well, I used to go to a lot of the demonstrations and I would document them. I think I fancied that I might be a journalist someday, so I would go to the demonstrations and then I would jot down notes and take photographs, and then I got shot in the face with the beanbag gun.

I was just wondering if there was ever, the good thing about being a little older, you and I both share that, being a little older, is that there are these good times mixed in with some of the challenging times. Right. And that's why I asked you if you ever had employment that really was satisfying for a period of time.

Hang on, let me knock this ad out. All right, we're back. I'd like to ask you, how is it that you can just hear everybody's problems all the time and yet you still are still able to smile like that, Dr. A. It's admirable that you just got bombarded with all these crazy people contacting you every day, and you still managed to put on a smile and button up your shirt and look sharp. Yeah, well, thank you. Actually, it's a very genuine smile because I guess I look at the world a little differently than maybe what you're suggesting here. As long as you and I are talking, then I feel good. You know, whatever you have been thinking, you know, if it wasn't for us talking here i so that's your that's your you're you're so you're saying your secret is for people that have problems

such as i've been talking to you about talk to people is the key that's what makes you you stay afloat and that's what makes you be able to smile at the end of the day is just getting it out there and getting it off your chest right yeah exactly yeah and of course that's a pretty that's a pretty good way to start but of course there's a lot more to this than that but for you to maintain your own sanity i would assume you must have some PTSD. I feel like I'm probably depressing the heck out of you. No, no.

No, I'm really glad that you felt comfortable enough to say these things, right, you know, up front. I think that's really a good sign, you know, that I think that's really that's a really good sign you know that there are people who really don't either they're so close up but whatever it is who are not willing to say anything and that you will not see me smiling then right and there are there are some people right well i'm glad you got me to open up you know yeah your openness is really a good thing and uh and i'm i'm grateful that you that you feel you could do that with me okay well what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna uh well it's

getting towards my bedtime it's almost uh nine past 930 in the morning. So I think what I'm going to do is just try to maybe just reflect on this conversation. And then I'd like to schedule one more appointment. What I'll do is I'll write down notes in the moment of how I'm feeling after we disconnect, and then I'll bring it up again, and I'll be able to read you that letter. Well, that's very good. Are you saying to me now that you've had enough of this session for right now? Oh, I just know that it's after they said 30 to 45 minutes and i didn't want to be rude but if you had more things that you wanted to tell me and offer me any advice i i'd like to be all ears for a minute oh yeah i i usually don't i don't do 30 minutes uh you know i usually have longer conversations usually 45 to 50 minutes okay because. Is what I usually see people.

I would love to just hear what, I'd like to just be of all ears and let you tell me some of the things that you think I could do to help myself. Well, that's why I asked you about another time in your life when maybe you were either living in a comfortable place, a place that you feel comfortable in, or you were working for somebody who you felt rather comfortable in being there with that person. I'm just wondering if there is, are there some bright spots in your life, is what I'm saying, that you can

recall? I'm sure I was a lot happier when I was younger, but I think everybody says that, that, oh, they were the good old days, but it's only because I was younger, and you know, I was more spry i i got around a lot better what was that like though what was that like where did you live

uh where did you work or did you work i used to uh well i'll tell you i used to uh i i did telemarketing once i uh i and i i still have a trophy from that i was a salesman of the month really and i keep that trophy wow yeah i'm sure it's right here i don't like to brag about myself or screw up the camera yep there Yep, there's my trophy. Golden phone. I was a salesman of the month. Was that? Yes. That's really a talent.

It was nice to I've never won anything in my life. That was a golden moment right then. It turned out the company did go under. It turned out that we were evidently, the operation wasn't above board, it turned out.

And they were closed down and fined by the state of Nevada for being a fraudulent operation. So that took a little bit of the gloss off of it, knowing that I was stealing from the elderly unknowingly. But I was very good at it, as the trophy shows you. I did very well. Yeah, that's important for me to know, that you have that talent inside of you. And as you said, you felt you were helping the people that you were talking to.

Yeah, I felt like something else, too, you know, that you like to be helpful. Right. I had no idea that maybe I was taking the last dime from an elderly person using it. Yeah, yeah. But how can you ever know? If you really don't know, I mean, you were working for somebody else there. But it does show that you have this talent here. Yeah. You know, which, you know, this is all good for us to figure out.

And that's, I'm wondering if that isn't something that you'd be willing to do between now and our next session. What you'd be willing is to recall some of these bright spots in your life. In other words, the things where you were successful, like this telemarketing. That was a bright spot in your life. In other words, the things where you were successful, like this telemarketing. Right. That was a bright spot in your life.

Yeah. Sometimes when I go through, you know, I think everyone our age has some boxes down in the closet or the crawl space that have memories. And maybe I should go through and pull out some of those old memories and go, hey, you're right, you're right, Dr. A. is, you know, not every day was so dark and gloomy. Yeah, yeah, maybe write

some of that down. Yeah. Just so we can talk about that a little bit. Right. Would you be willing to do that for your next session? I would love to do that. Thank you. That's a great idea.

Okay. Now, would it help if I remind you of things? For example, you said at the very beginning that you like to write things down. Right. I usually write them in emails because... Have a remembrance of them. Yeah. If I write it on paper, I tend to lose it or forget to look at it. That's why I write myself emails because I can mark them as unread after I read them.

And that way I can go back and read them again if I feel it's important. Okay. Okay. So that would be your way of handling this then, that you'd write yourself an email. Right. In which you kind of list some of the highlights, some of the things where you were very successful. Right. Maybe I could make it like a top

ten list. Okay. But not a very funny one like they do on the late night shows. Yeah. Top ten. Right.

Good. Yeah. please do that i one time i um are there people in your life that you oh my i think we have a little bit of a glitch. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's coming back now, though. Okay. Yeah, are there people in my life, you ask? I was going to ask you if there are people in your life. Well, I had one friend named Michael, and he moved away, but we talk on that we um every week we bet on one football game um and we put a hundred dollars which is quite a bit of money uh and uh i so it's at the

end of the season there's only two more football games left so and i owe him i think six hundred dollars for the season um hopefully i can win two and then i'll only owe him, I think, $600 for the season. Hopefully I can win two, and then I'll only owe him $400. He calls me names every time I lose and says, well, I don't want to repeat the words, but they're gay. They're homophobic slurs that he calls me every time I lose a game. And sometimes I think I should just record his jerk voice when he says those things and go, hey, what if I could get you canceled, my friend, I'll say. But we like to talk spirited talk when we gamble on football, so sometimes it's not

bad to say bad words if it's just because you're ribbing your friend. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, people do that all the time when they're watching sports. Right. I wish he hadn't moved away, but he has a wife and a child. Do you mind? Okay. Well, of course, that's important for whatever reason he had to move away.

And you're saying that you still keep in touch with him, though? Every week we talk about football. Okay, okay. still keep in touch with him though every week we talk about football okay okay watching football was one of my greatest joys somebody that you're talking with sorry we have a bit of a delay it's watching football was one of my greatest joys until he started winning hundreds and hundreds of dollars from me and that kind of soured it but maybe we'll bet less money next season yeah and i hope you would i hope you would because you're not employed at this point right and you know a friendship shouldn't have cost anything yeah that's that's true yeah it should so i hope you won't. Yeah, it shouldn't

cost my dignity to be called the F-word. I don't have a lot of money. Yeah. I think Dr. A, I think we should wrap this up. Is there another question?

I'm just having a tremendous delay. I'm just having a tremendous delay I'm sorry I said maybe we should wrap this up in the next session I'll make sure I'm closer to a router because we're getting a terrible delay okay do you have a router

in your house? I'm sure I do, but I had my friend Michael, he set up my computer for me, and I don't really know what a router is, so I'm going to have to ask my friend to set this up so it's not so choppy. Yeah, yeah. I think that that's a good idea. I think, you know, sometimes it's just where you are in the house. Right. Right.

And do you talk to this friend very much who set up the router? Well, sometimes when I'm afraid to leave the house, well, it's not agoraphobia. It's more agoraphilia, where I really love to not leave the house. It's almost a fetish how much. So I will pay one of the local lads to go get my groceries. And he also is good with electronics that I'm not very good with at all. So he's the one who put my cat, Mr. Bimbles. I had him put Mr. Bimbles' face on my cell phone. So when I look at my cell phone, I see Mr. Bimble's, and that makes me smile.

So now we have three things on my top ten list. I like football, my sister in the mouth, and Mr. Bimble's. Okay, that's a really good start start a really good start here for us um and so then you know the person then that could tell you about the rock right right and i'll have him set that up before i schedule the appointment because i i don't want to be, I feel like this is my fault and I like to be punctual and have everything working correctly. It's not your fault. Right. I'll talk to that young man.

Chaley Gregg is his name. Yeah, Gregg. I'll have him set this up so I don't look like a stupid moron. Yeah. I'll have him set this up so I don't look like a stupid moron. You're not at all. People have these problems all the time. Right. Let's take a look at my schedule here because my schedule does fill up.

Right. And so I'd be happy to be with you at the same time how is the same time next thursday which is the first of february what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna make sure that i have him come over and set it up and then i will reschedule through the website um and i'll find when you're open but i want to make sure it's set up first. I get a little bit anal, I guess you'd say, about things. I like to have everything just right, so I want to make sure it gets set up right, and then I will schedule it on the site. Okay, well, it's up to you.

Okay, well it's up to you I do think though that sometimes if you have a schedule and you have a whole week that you can you could work this out you probably

would be able to and you could cancel you could cancel if it doesn't you could not cut it all straightened out. I know what you're doing, sir. I know what you're doing. It's called you are always be closing. I like your style. I'm going to make that appointment right now.

You got a yes from me. You have a good sales tactic. That's what I had when I was stealing from people my age. Well, I really do like to really work with people and that's

what I'm suggesting here. Okay, what time? At the same time next Thursday. Nine. That would be your time. It would be at the same time next Thursday. Nine. That would be your time. It would be nine o'clock. Oh, great. That's what we got today.

Next Thursday the 1st. Perfect. I wrote it down, and as soon as we disconnect, I'll send an email to myself. Okay. Well, real good. That's really great Stan thanks I'm glad that we're working together in this way I'm glad too I'm gonna stop writing letters to Dr. Drew and Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz and I'm gonna just be a Dr. A man. Well, thank you. We're working together.

We're doing this together. All right. And I'll see you then next Thursday. I'm going to shake your virtual hand. Okay. Bye-bye now. Bye now. Thank you.

All right. There you go. If you have your own mental health problems and you don't want to just try to be funny, you can be funny as long as you're being serious about what's up. You can email those subject line mental health to meatwig at hotmail.com. Still faithful to the hotmail. Right, Chad? Okay, bye-bye now. Yeah.

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