The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #248: Doug in Singapore with Former MMA Fighter Brad Robinson

Episode Date: March 15, 2018

Doug, Brad Robinson and his Hype Man John talk Mayhem Miller, Farrangs, and the cheapest way to get bailed out of a Singapore jail. Recorded Mar 08th, 2018 in Singapore with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanh...ope), & Brad Robinson, & Hype Man John. Produced by Brian Hennigan (@MrHennigan). Edited by Chaille. This episode is sponsored by Spotify – The Doug Stanhope Podcast is now available on Spotify. Open the app on mobile or desktop, click on the "browse" channel, and then click on the "podcast" section. MyBCasino.ag - Go to [MyBCasino.ag](MyBCasino.ag) and deposit today to triple your bankroll with their amazing 200% sign-up bonus. Use promocode “STANHOPE” to activate the offer. Blue Apron - Get your $30 off at [BlueApron.com/STANHOPE](BlueApron.com/STANHOPE) Order a SIGNED copy of Doug's NEW book, "This Is Not Fame: A "From What I Re-Memoir"" at - [www.dougstanhope.com/store/this-is-not-fame-signed](www.dougstanhope.com/store/this-is-not-fame-signed) Closing song “Party Time”, by “The Mattoid”. Available on iTunes. LINKS: Chad Shank Voice Over info at [www.AudioShank.com](www.AudioShank.com) Support the Innocence Project - [www.innocenceproject.org/](www.innocenceproject.org/)Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast. Check. I will bring up the Brad Robinson versus Brad Robinson because that's really... I mean, it's just a hilarious idea. You're going to have to hold the microphone really close. Sure, it's just a hilarious idea. You're going to have to hold the microphone really close. All right. That's why we should do it on the patio.
Starting point is 00:00:29 Yeah. All right. But the idea of this guy just getting fucking bombarded, because he knows me as when he Googles himself, sometimes I come up. That's all he knows of me. Do you know this guy at all? No, I don't know him. I don't know him at all.
Starting point is 00:00:42 All right. We're with Brad Robinson, a former, he says, former, former is correct, MMA fighter. We're in Singapore and his promoter, his hype man. Yeah, he's my hype man.
Starting point is 00:00:54 That's right. We just went over this. That's why I didn't want to talk about what we're going to talk about. But at one point when Bingo was in a coma, Full Metal Dojo.
Starting point is 00:01:07 John Nutt. Full Metal Dojo. They wanted me to do like Joe Rogan work in Bangkok as a color commentary guy for MMA. Opposite me. Like it was supposed to be you and I sitting next to the cage. Talking about cage fighting in a club in an underground scene in Bangkok, which was questionably legal at the time. You knew I had no idea. They go, yeah, you just have to be funny.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Yeah. Just fuck around. I don't know anything about MMA. I watch it, but I don't know a fucking thing. We don't care. Yeah, it was perfect. But that's kind of Bangkok in general, which you'll find out in the next couple of days. That's kind of how Bangkok works.
Starting point is 00:01:45 It doesn't really matter. Yeah, the red light's on. That's all we have to worry about. Eat the mic and the red light's on and one cunt will complain about the fucking... The levels were off. Hopefully, they'll say that. But Mayhem Miller... let's just jump into this now and then we can go backwards dive into it mayhem miller was involved at the time correct so
Starting point is 00:02:13 when you couldn't pull it off or that thing fell through it ended up being mayhem and i that did this show together now i've never met mayhem before. Same friends. You had to have known about him. I knew about him not even being a big MMA guy because he had SWAT standoffs and shit. And he did that awful show on MTV. Yeah, I did the Bully Beatdown. Yeah, and I know he went on Roby's podcast. Could have been good if it was done well.
Starting point is 00:02:41 Once. It wasn't done well at all. Go ahead. It was done for a PG audience. Imagine if it was done for an adult rated R audience. Yeah, lean into the mic when you... I apologize. Just so you know.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Yeah. So here I am, and it's the first show I've done for these guys, for Full Metal Dojo. It was the first one with commentary. Yeah. So before that, it was just for a live audience. There was no TV, but these guys got a TV deal, and it became a real thing. And they wanted to pop it with Doug Stanhope comes to Bangkok and does MMA commentary. But it ends up Mayhem and I.
Starting point is 00:03:12 And my first reaction when he calls and goes, your opposite Mayhem Miller was, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm Googling him right now, and the first picture is him In an orange jumpsuit And the second one is of his house With a SWAT team around it And I'm not sure where this is going to go So fast forward This thing goes down He's a gentleman
Starting point is 00:03:35 I mean just a class act Shook my hand Great conversation Showed up in a suit Let's also mark that though Because he asked us for the time and we're like could you be back here at six o'clock and six o'clock comes and it's like where is he so you text him he's like just getting into my suit you're like no you're not you have no when
Starting point is 00:03:57 i met him he had no sleeves on you know he showed up he showed up and like all of a sudden he comes up he's got the perfect Windsor knot in his tie. He's got a purple mohawk, Windsor knot, gray suit, looking like Shannon Sharp, but obviously... With notes. With notes. He owed lawyers money. There was a tax bill or a lawyer's bill for sure.
Starting point is 00:04:20 But he was professional. He had notes. This fighter fights out of this. And, hey, Brad, where's Chiang Mai, Thailand at? Is that how you say it? And trying to get the Thai names pronounced right. And really, really impressed me with his effort. He did a good job.
Starting point is 00:04:33 And he was fun. And it went pretty well. We both know what we're talking about. And we had a good flow. And then the night continued on. And we ended up in a hotel room. Let's also say that the event, we got to party with him the night continued on, and we ended up in a hotel room. Let's also say that the event, we got to party with him the night before. So the weigh-ins is never a weigh-in.
Starting point is 00:04:51 The weigh-ins is a shit show. Just the way you phrased that, we got to party with him. Like, you're his boss. You're the guy who's going, oh, fuck, it's 6 o'clock. Where is he? We got to party with him. Again, yeah, that's kind of the way the whole function rolls it's i mean we were events coordinators the way that we got into this
Starting point is 00:05:10 whole thing event uh originally was we were events coordinators that threw parties i just happened to throw fights at the parties so we used to throw like we would rent rent rent them you know we would rent a mansion and we'd have, again, different pretty world-class DJs, things of that nature. But I would also put on fights because we had midgets. It was just a dichotomy of, hey, we get to party with Mayhem Miller and the next night going, why isn't he showing up? This is unprofessional. You can't be a fan and a boss at the same time. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:05:47 I think that we got to party with him was a bit of a surprise that he made it that far without getting incarcerated. So I think that's actually where the surprise came from. Let's get to the ugly parts. We get out, we have a good time, and against my better judgment, and after consuming some beverages and such to
Starting point is 00:06:08 make me twist it out of my mind i decided to text mayhem hey it's 2 a.m you want to get weird you had to goad him i did i did and 13 later, he was knocking on my hotel room door, wired in the eyes, and fucking, let's go, bro. Where are we going? And I had a good time. But we're there. There's a group of people in the room. And I'm the only other person who's ever had any combat sports. Wait.
Starting point is 00:06:38 You're in Bangkok. We're in Bangkok in a hotel room. Okay. So he shows up at your room. About 2 in the morning. We're going to get weird. Now, when you say we're in a room,. Okay, so he shows up at your room. About two in the morning. We're going to get weird. Now, when you say we're in a room, are you in another room? Or did he bring people to your room?
Starting point is 00:06:52 He brought people, and we had a couple other people there, a couple friends. So it's in your room. Yeah, so it was in my room. Because that's always dangerous. This was a strategic. You can't leave. This was a bad idea. And here I am going, i'm regretting this already
Starting point is 00:07:05 like i'm i'm 40 minutes in going how am i going to get these fucking people out of here or i might just go check into the room next door and just let this go because i i'm not i'm not cut out for this nonsense so good time mayhem i can best describe it as i think i told you earlier like you you've around someone who's adopted a dog and you don't know what the fuck that dog has been through before that day. It's a rescue. But it's eating my baby.
Starting point is 00:07:31 It's an SPCA, may have had the shots, may not have had the shots sort of a moment. Yeah. And I just feel like Mayhem has, he wants to do good. He wants to be a good guy. And if he's surrounded by people like i was that night going no no no hey buddy put that that no let's not we don't need the knife in the no let's know what's the tv stays on if he's got those people around him at all times it's fine and dan he goes oh yeah
Starting point is 00:07:55 fuck okay i'll put that chair back down there when we talked about this earlier i mentioned chad shank who's yeah he's got anger issues and he knows about it but there's a this is for three people in my life there was a guy when I used to play coots in Alaska named Stevie that was part of the group but he was a really fucking dark evil presence and someone flicked
Starting point is 00:08:18 me shit I was trying to sell t-shirts I was still with a mullet back then in the 90s selling merch I'm selling merch for the first time and someone flicked me shit in front of him. And I had to do that. I go, don't do it, Stevie. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:08:30 It's not that big a deal. He's like, I'm fine. And then he followed him to another part of the bar in a dark corner and just pummeled him into a fucking pulp. And I'm like, why did you? I couldn't help myself. Don't ever let those two hang out together. That's not, it's the exact same sort of thing.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Mayhem was funny though, because Mayhem like on a Southeast Asia to American note, he came in and he got the same instructions as most people would when it comes to Mexico. So like, you know, if a white guy comes over to you and he starts some shit, it's okay, mayhem. You can punch him in the face. If anybody of brown color, if any small brown or yellow people come over to you and talk shit, do not, do nothing.
Starting point is 00:09:15 You will be attacked from the side like a velociraptor because Thais don't play. Thailand and Mexico are like those types of countries where if you are on the opposite side of whatever it is, police, gangsters, however it rolls, because police and gangsters are actually the same fucking thing. You're going to have to, you're going to have to deal with it.
Starting point is 00:09:35 And then I have to give me the download. I'm not going to go out, but I still want to know. Well, yeah, again, it's a, it's a very gray,
Starting point is 00:09:43 you know, my father was a lawyer, so he won't come and visit me because he literally says that it's a very gray you know my father was a lawyer so he won't come and visit me because he literally says that it's a lawless country and uh i wouldn't say that it's lawless it's it has morals and if you it has a code and if you step over certain morals and certain codes but it's completely gray and completely obtuse to any Westerner. And by that, I mean, like, they'll say that prostitution is illegal. What is Thailand known for? Prostitution. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:10 It's illegal. Pornography is illegal in Thailand. But yet I know where to go buy some porn. You know what I mean? Drugs are illegal. Why are you so dated yourself right now? Buy some porn? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:24 You're a philanthropist if you're buying porn these people gotta make a living he's a bit of a hipster he likes the vintage stuff it's vhs and uh and and magazines he finds in the woods that's that's his only that's his youtube gentrified porn i'm i'm going back to the source no high definition ruined porn not oh yeah high definition is about that oh it was about the uh i did a bit about that about the uh the gunginess of the asian vagina it gets wet down there again it's like the tropics i mean it's humid it's humid wow i i'm glad my dvds aren't popular over here because I'd have to. You with the wiry ass hair of the. There was a Korean Japanese bit you had about bloated, hanging out in the water.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Oh, the tsunami. Yeah. It was pretty rough. I have a lot of bits. I would shelve that one for this little trip. Oh, yeah. I don't repeat old material, but there's a lot of things that can come up in your past
Starting point is 00:11:28 when you get them on a DVD and sold it. Anyway, let's get back to Mayhem Miller in the hotel room. So back to our friend Mayhem. It was a good time. Typical getting weird, making bad decisions in a hotel room. You can paint your own picture of what was going on. Sure. And then it was fucking let's go out and fuck shit up, was the exact quote.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Verbatim, stood up, let's go out and fuck shit up. And I look at my watch, and it's 5.30 in the morning. Okay, so you said paint my own picture. I'm imagining, because I pictured whores in that room with drugs, and I would think once you came, you go, I'm going to bed. So I'm guessing you didn't cheat on your wife. No, you come to me multiple times. You come to me multiple times.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Because you're not wrong. That dude's just kind of a stud. I mean, he said he was going to go into porn. And there's probably a reason why he's going to go into porn. He's got good cardio. If you've seen him fight, he's got great fucking cardio, Doug. That that's all i'm gonna say like the guy's got a good second wind all right so i tap out i i can't do this guys i got shit to do tomorrow and you know so i i i bail and the next phone call i get i don't know who he hooked up with or how it happened but and and mayhem if
Starting point is 00:12:43 you're listening he did kind of tell part of the story in his podcast, so I'm not speaking too much out of turn here. But the police in Bangkok, if they find you in a certain state of mind walking down the road, will just come over and shake you down. That's just the way it is. And it's gotten worse in the last couple years.
Starting point is 00:12:58 Okay, so it is like Mexico in that way where you can bribe your way out of a problem? Yes, correct. I wrote about it in my book just briefly where I did a timeshare salesperson convention in Cancun. And the guy was saying, I could never move back to the States because once you understand how the grift works down here, once you understand the corruption. True freedom. He said, I was dead blackout drunk on christmas eve and i got pulled over and i gave him 50 bucks and it just kept going and well to make a long to go go on uh on mayhem again
Starting point is 00:13:33 he was we had a great time and i tapped out as well i was done and uh again it's 5 a.m and i remember we walked out with him and two other gentlemen who I'm not going to say their names I only actually know one of them but we went right and he went left and it was like in the Calvin and Hobbes like you just wrong way right way that type of thing and I'm the one that's gallant yeah I'm the one that gets the phone call at 8 30 to meet them at the Tongwall police station and bring money so that whole thing wound up going down. Aiden, what you'll love about this, especially when it comes to a Bangkok town,
Starting point is 00:14:11 the guy that he was with, because Mayhem didn't get busted with anything. It was the guy that he was with that got busted. And he pulled the shitty move of putting it in his sock because that's where everybody hides. You know what I mean? It's just like what kind of rookie year is this? You put it in your sock, really?
Starting point is 00:14:32 So he puts it in his sock and the Thai cop, when he finds it on him, takes it out and he goes, ah, cocaine, you've got cocaine. And the guy goes, no, it's catamine. And May guy goes, no, it's catamine. And Mayhem goes,
Starting point is 00:14:47 it's still illegal, shithead. And there they are, busted in fucking Thailand with Mayhem pointing at the guy that he's with. This is the same night. This is not a separate story. All right, just make it. Yeah, man, this is again,
Starting point is 00:15:02 this is 545. And he's going to, does he have to work that night? No, he has to work the next day. Mom, if you're listening, I was in sleep at this time. I was not with the ketamine or the cocaine. Neither was I. Does your mom listen to my podcast? Because I was kind of hoping.
Starting point is 00:15:17 I only agreed to have you on to get to your mom. With arms wide open. Mom gets weird too. She could have been in the hotel room with us. That explains everything you're looking at. Is mom still in Oklahoma?
Starting point is 00:15:30 She is. She's still in Oklahoma. In that fucking dust bowl shack you left her in? Somehow. All fucking Tom Joad goes fucking west to go be an MMA fighter
Starting point is 00:15:39 in Singapore. Great son. Great son. Love you, mom. Love you. So mayhem. So mayhem Love you, mom. Love you. So Mayhem. Mayhem flipped into the truck. Again, they brought up the paddy wagon.
Starting point is 00:15:52 It's a Ford 454. This is while he's getting arrested. So they made him put his hands on the side of the ute, if you will, the side of the pickup truck, because they were all sketched out by him. And the way he tells us the story is... Again, Purple Mohawk, if you don't know Jason Mayhem Miller from the UFC and that bully beat down and...
Starting point is 00:16:15 Pride and all, again, and just being crazy. Yeah. And being awesome in that reference, if you will, but getting arrested by the cops. So he's hands on the side of the pickup truck and his friends are being led into the back and they're like, you should get in the back too.
Starting point is 00:16:33 And instead of taking his hands off of the car and walking around like a normal fucking human being, he decided to squat down, jump up and flip into the back of the truck. That's a strong move. That is a strong, I said the same thing. the back of the truck. That's a strong move. That is a strong... I said the same thing. I actually respect the move.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Like, if I'm going out, like, I'm going to have some flash with it. He tells everybody that that's when they all went clips in. Yeah, they did, though. Apparently, he was a bit loud and being mayhem, and the cops are now back hand on the handguns, yelling at him to get in the truck. And that's when he decides his best decision is to do a big front flip
Starting point is 00:17:08 into the back of the fucking paddy wagon in Bangkok. Yeah. Nadia Komanich. How many fucking dated references can I use in this story? Anyway. So I miss all the phone calls to deal with getting him out and coming with a wad of cash to the police station. But 150,000 baht. Baht.
Starting point is 00:17:33 How many? All right. How many dollars is baht? It's 31 baht to the dollar today. So it's, you know, 100,000 baht is $9,000. So, yeah, you're talking about $10,000, $15,000. And you could talk your way down to $3,000 to $4,000 bought is $9,000. So, yeah, you're talking about $10,000, $15,000. And you could talk your way down to $3,000 to $4,000. You could talk your way down fairly aggressively, fairly quickly.
Starting point is 00:17:53 There's a really, I can't barter on a car or anything. I'll either pay what you're asking or I won't. But when it's for your freedom. Yes. Or even worse, in this case, your friend or kind of friend. Like, how much do I really know this guy? How responsible am I for this dude? I'm like 2,500 into this guy.
Starting point is 00:18:18 You say 15,000. I don't even like him that much. He's crazy. He fucked up my. How about. All right, I'll go 3 go 3000 cause he did the backstory. He learned how to pronounce names of Thailand. The Windsor knot was actually meticulously.
Starting point is 00:18:33 I'll go 3,500 tops on the Windsor knot. Not a penny more. Fresh saved Mohawk shards. Like he put the work in, so he gets some cash, but five grand is that's five bucks as well. It also wasn't us. It wasn't us that, that bailed him out.
Starting point is 00:18:46 We were with you. So again, yes, technically I'm like the nucleus of this whole thing, but I by no means was leading the party. You know what I mean? Okay. You know what? The doorbell is ringing in our youth hostel that we're staying in here, and we're going to get a pizza.
Starting point is 00:19:05 So let's take a minute. We're going to do a commercial while we eat some pizza. And we'll be right back after these messages. We'll be right back. Hey, did you know the Doug Stano Podcast is now available on Spotify? Spotify is making it easy for you to stream this podcast and many others like it on your mobile device, desktop app, and smart speaker. I don't know what that is. I don't even know how to listen to this podcast.
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Starting point is 00:24:13 What did you cook this week, wherever the fuck you are? You know who always knows where I am, Doug? Blue Apron. I just went online to change my address, and the boxes find me each week without interruption. It's that easy and next week is the soy glazed pork meatloaf with miso mashed potatoes and sauteed cabbage and crispy catfish with coconut lime curry and kale and another 30 minute meal sweet chili stir fry with carrots and shiitake mushrooms how does that sound that sounds fucking good well there you have it it's fucking good blue fucking apron there you have it. It's fucking good.
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Starting point is 00:25:15 Blue Apron, a better fucking way to cook. All right, we're back, We're back. We're back. After a pizza and a little pizza run. Yeah, that was fantastic. Actually, very good pizza. I thought we were just going to have to throw dough down our heads so we could continue this, but that was fucking great pizza. Yeah, that worked out well.
Starting point is 00:25:41 So where were we, Doug? Well, he was about to say something wrong but i think he had uh the second actually yeah the the the the button on this story is uh is best delivered by john because i wasn't there so so the mayhem uh you got you got it you got to finish the mayhem mayhem left with the best of everybody in in his place so i didn't have to do the bailout i i again like i like you were talking about technically i was seen as the boss at that moment so i got phone calls like you need to be the one that's doing this and i no i don't no i don't this is not our issue he's the one that got arrested in thailand and in all honesty i've worked with openers where we had
Starting point is 00:26:24 kind of the same rule where alright if you want to go be a sketchy motherfucker the van is leaving at 8am and if you're not on board no one's coming for you you want to go take chances so needless to say I'm not drunk correct
Starting point is 00:26:39 don't call me drunk I paid the bar bill you fucking better be drunk for this money mister it's not cocaine it's catamine by the way which was still the line still gets me mine is
Starting point is 00:26:56 was where I was doing bumps with the guy it was fucking John Rocker if you haven't figured out the book we're in the atlanta toilet and he goes key bump he goes it's not meth but it's not not meth yes i ran out after i did the bump and i told my tour manager write this quote down because that's the funniest thing ever yeah exactly and he wasn't being funny it's like it's just he was
Starting point is 00:27:33 being rocker he's apologizing for the quality it's not great shit it's it's not meth but it's not not meth yeah that's so accidentally brilliant so I didn't do the bailout but what I did do was the let's get this guy on the plane and make sure everything is okay you know so like they told me do you know who bailed him out? yeah I do and I know that there's like actually still
Starting point is 00:27:56 technically money owed that like you know it is what it is the funniest thing on that note is you're old enough to know that when you hand that money over at this age, it ain't coming back. You know. It's not like 19 where you go, you still owe me like 48 bucks. Correct.
Starting point is 00:28:14 And again, I will honestly say that the dudes that were with him at the time of Bust, this has got to be the best story of their fucking lives. You know what I mean? This has got to be one of the best. Absolutely. And the getting out of jail, like when you get released, I mean, talk about jumping out of an airplane.
Starting point is 00:28:37 You know what I mean? There's got to be no more like, whew, finally made it out of that one alive. That feeling has got to be kudos. But so when everything got settled. How long was he in jail? He wasn't in jail. He was in actually like literally holding.
Starting point is 00:28:54 So it was three hours. Oh, okay. Three hours was the time that it took because in Thailand they do this. This is a trick for any of you that ever get arrested, but they do do roll calls. This is actually the podcast where this is useful material. They do roll calls.
Starting point is 00:29:12 They do roll calls. So if you get busted on one shift, a day is broken up into four quarters. If you get busted on one shift and that dude turns over, well, then you're done. Then you're in the system. Then they have to write you down. What you can do, just like Mexico
Starting point is 00:29:28 or any of these other sorted countries like that, is if you get your bribe in there beforehand, if you get that passed along the chain, you're good to go. You're off. You're run. Because otherwise they have to split tips. And you know how this pisses off the waitst the wait staff 100 i did all this side work i shouldn't have to split anything with you
Starting point is 00:29:50 correct there's one i filled all the ketchup bottles and you did nothing but detective butthurt over there is literally like i feel like i shucked this for wrong down for more money so we're called for wrong in thailand falang f-A-R-R-A-N-G. And it's the word. Wait, white people? White people. All right. It comes from the word Farangset, which means French,
Starting point is 00:30:11 because they were the first white people to go to Thailand. So we're all called Farang. They discovered Thailand. Yes. They discovered it. Yes. They discovered those people. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Thank God for the French. Those Thai people were discovered by the French. It's basically what we're... Vietnam wouldn't exist. Cambodia wouldn't exist. These places would have... You would have never found them. But so I had the job of going to go get Mayhem to...
Starting point is 00:30:41 You know, bro, you got to make the plane though, right? And so we were sponsored by the Movenpick, which was awesome. Big shout out to the Movenpick. See how I did that? Circular. I think we just did a spot for them when we did a break.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Yeah, exactly. So go in and knock on the door and you're banging on the door and you just, it's one of these things. You're just hearing it. He's back in his own room, right? He didn't go right back to your room. He's back in his own room.
Starting point is 00:31:11 And you're just hearing muffled grunts. And, you know, again, like you're walking in on the movie Saw. You know, what's going on there? I don't really know. Is it, what's going on? And Mayhem comes to the door. and he leaves the chain lock on there, so it only comes to a certain, hey, Johnny, what's going on, buddy? What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:31:33 You've got a plane to catch in like two and a half hours, so I'm just making sure that you and Rick get on there. Are you okay? And he goes, I'll be okay after I knock this whore out. And by that, he meant have sexual intercourse, whether or not. The look that you just made with your face after I knocked this whore out, and you delve your chin back into your neck. Yes.
Starting point is 00:32:05 It got very... Patrick Bateman. I was going to go Weinstein. It's a Weinstein era. Sling blade? Either one. Either one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:18 It could be. I'll take it. Of course. She might be 13. I don't know. Oh, man. He was so, again, it was so funny. And they came down together holding hands, if you will.
Starting point is 00:32:35 You know, it looked sweet. You look like my fucking bride or I'll put a cigarette out on your eye. Needless to say, great times had by all. In all honesty. And where is he now? Again, so... Because he used to... I don't know how I...
Starting point is 00:32:52 It was on Twitter that... It had to be Twitter where he would... He took me to task over like a joke I made but then kept tweeting me you should straighten out your
Starting point is 00:33:06 life but but then he would they came back and then he was nice and i think you're funny and he's a he you said the i don't think he'll fucking have even an issue with this at all i mean you said bipolar right so again a lot of people that are that way, he's obviously lived a rock star's life in a fighter's body. So thus, he has all the brawn of a dude. Because by the way, rock stars could live a lot longer if they were fat people, right? So you have some storage for the toxins that you're doing, the bad stuff that you're doing to your body.
Starting point is 00:33:43 He doesn't have any of that. So he goes on binges. He trains really, really, really, really hard for three months in order to fight. I don't think you're a doctor, by the way, for the listener. Thank you. I don't know a lot of fat rock stars that are old. But they should be. All the ones that are actually the Keith Richards guys. Steven Tyler's.
Starting point is 00:34:06 Like that wiry fucking squirrel. Duff McGagan. Heroin. Meth spindly. That's the way that it should be. Yeah. That is the way that it should be.
Starting point is 00:34:20 They're 80 years old and they're fucking. What's his name? Not Lou Reed but the other one. I think he's dead. Iggy Pop? Iggy Pop. He might be dead. But either way, he's alive here on this podcast because I don't really know my facts.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Yeah, exactly. Is that Frank Zappa over there? What? What? You know, he was just, again, he was a very cool dude to work with. And the funny thing on that note, when we're talking about social media and the lack thereof or as much of their thereof so he doesn't do his own social media he doesn't like he has a a buddy that that does the you know the mayhem monkey nation that that does it and he and i used to communicate via hotmail because we both i. I'm a hotmail guy. Thank you. Doug Stano Pat. Yeah, great.
Starting point is 00:35:05 Awesome, bro. And also 212 Van Dyke Street, Bisbee, Arizona, 85603. If you Google Doug Stano's address, it's the first thing that comes up. Crazy talk. You're the mayor of that town then, huh? Well, I think Brad and I,
Starting point is 00:35:19 we could both put our street addresses out and no one's coming to fucking Singapore or Bisbee anytime soon just because they know your address. No one's coming to 6 Simon Lane in Covent, Singapore. It's not going to happen. It's seven train stops from the city. No one's going to do it. I'm not really worried.
Starting point is 00:35:39 See, this is where you guys are lucky because everybody's going to come to my house once I say it. See, this is where you guys are lucky because everybody's going to come to my house once I say it. But long story short, we just, not shitting on Mayhem, but we were, you know, talking. He was a fucking lovely guy. I'm not kidding. He was a, like, before the night, you know, took a hard left turn or the morning, literally one of the most enjoyable conversations you'd ever have. So that was the only experience you've had, was that fight and that night, and that was it?
Starting point is 00:36:12 That's my Mayhem Miller experience. And I don't want it to change. And now our Mayhem moment. If I were actually to quit comedy, which I consider daily, hourly sometimes, and just actually focus on the podcast and make it like a regular show where we have regular beats. That would be, I would have a Mayhem Miller moment like Andy Rooney at the end of 60 Minutes. I would love that. Look, man, Jason, if you're listening, you're always welcome back.
Starting point is 00:36:41 I mean, once you can leave the country, and if you can enter this one, you're more than welcome to come back. You can't stay in my house, but you can stay nearby. Yeah, you can come to Bisbee, but you have to put your own credit card down at the hotel because I'm not settling any damages. I need $5,000 in bailout money, like a banker's guarantee before you land,
Starting point is 00:37:03 in case I do have the guilty conscience to come and you have to come when frank mirror's there because now that we're buddied up with frank mirror i i need i need a heavy weight so a super heavy weight there was a moment in this hotel room when things were getting a little intense and mayhem was getting all mayhem where everyone looked at me as the other athlete in fucking brackets, as I'm in not the greatest state of mind, to protect them from fucking UFC fighter, pride fighter. And Mayhem at the time was ripped. He was fucking yoked and in shape.
Starting point is 00:37:36 He was in fight shape for some reason at the time, I guess. No alcohol. Preparing for Bangkok. No probation. And there was a moment where I just went I'm from a farm town in Oklahoma and there's seven people looking to me to protect them
Starting point is 00:37:51 from UFC fighter, pride fighter my guidance counselor was right all along I definitely made some strategic errors in my choices tonight because I don't know outside of running away and pulling a fire alarm what I could do to stop him if
Starting point is 00:38:07 shit was going to go south because he's a fucking deadly weapon. When you were a fighter did you talk shit like I'm not afraid of anyone? I'm way I've done enough. But would you ever say this in a pre-fight interview
Starting point is 00:38:23 oh Jesus everyone's looking at me like I could win this one and there's no way I've done enough. Would you ever say this in a pre-fight interview? Oh Jesus. I, everyone's looking at me like I could win this one and there's no way I could win against this fucking guy. Don't bet on me. I, my, my,
Starting point is 00:38:34 my move is always, I, this is like, it's a shame. It's called fighting. I see it as a sport and I just want to, I have a skillset and he has a skillset. I want to test my metal. And then I would, the interview would end and I just want to, I have a skill set and he has a skill set. I want to test my mettle
Starting point is 00:38:45 and then I would, the interview would end and I would go, I'm shitting my pants right now with fear. Like, I'm going to go piss blood just from the fear
Starting point is 00:38:53 and like, it's the scariest thing. Any fighter who ever says, not me bro, like, I don't get the nerves, is full of shit or they're,
Starting point is 00:39:01 like, it's not possible. It's the scariest thing you'll ever do. This guy has trained his whole life to murder me, and I'm walking down a cage, and there's cameras and pay-per-view, and they're going to film me fighting this guy.
Starting point is 00:39:13 I've thought of every reason possible. I've thought, I'll lose my mouth guard. I'll take my, I'll fake a seizure. Like, I've had all of these thoughts on the way to the cage. I'll trip, and I got bad knees. Everyone knows I have bad knees. Has any fighter ever
Starting point is 00:39:25 said this on a podcast but i promise you they've all had the same thoughts i have like it's the scare there's it's the dumbest it's the dumbest thing i've ever done and and i look back at it like it's a different human being that did it i still look at it like everybody jumping out of an airplane everybody always is like yeah i'm cool i'm cool but then if you're like going tandem for the first time it's like okay but you go first you go first you know what i mean like of course you know your nerves get into into play the difference is again next time i meet any kind of uh mma guy i'm, hey, you know what? I know you're shitting your pants inside. I know you're eight inches taller than me. You got 60
Starting point is 00:40:10 pounds on me, but I know. I talked to Brad and he said you're a fucking pussy. Brad number one, by the way. Brad number one. Brad number one. I thought you said Brad never won. Wow, that's why you quit. Oh, and 17. We were taking advice from him. He was like, wow, that's why you quit. Oh, in 17.
Starting point is 00:40:27 We were taking advice from him. He was shit scared the whole time. That's why. But yeah, I mean, it just makes like, look, I did it. And it was the most like distilled. I found it exactly like you can strip away all the bullshit that you tell yourself. When you're walking and they're going to close the cage behind you it is like the most well that's what mayhem miller felt but that was a bangkok jail they closed the cage behind him i is a different fight altogether i would bet maybe
Starting point is 00:40:56 mayhem wasn't shitting his pants in fear when he was fighting in pride he might actually probably didn't have enough to eat to even shit that That's why I couldn't handle the ketamine. Again. All right. Give me your, I don't know how many fights you fought, but give me a favorite win and a most humiliating loss. All right. I have those. So, look, my back story is eight years ago, I weighed 340 pounds.
Starting point is 00:41:30 I shit you not. I know your face is jaw-dropping. I was morbidly obese. For the listener, Brad looks like a small Jim Jefferies. That's actually, I get it. I get it. I totally get it. But yeah, I was morbidly obese.
Starting point is 00:41:48 I'm looking at your, if you were a black dude, I would be able to see stretch marks on the undersides of your- Like an NFL lineman, right? Yeah, exactly. Like right here, I have them. The armpits. That's why, then I saw the sleeve tattoos, and I go, oh, he's covering something up.
Starting point is 00:42:04 Just like a stripper that has fucking tiger claws on her fucking belly. That's not a cesarean. That's not at all. Yeah. So you had the meat skirt and everything. I was. Yeah. So I 340, 345, 9, 510.
Starting point is 00:42:19 I'm six foot. Six foot. Yeah. Six to six to according to my MMA record. But I'm actually six feet. And then, so I went from being an athlete in the States. Wait, how tall are you then? 6'3".
Starting point is 00:42:31 Yeah. All right. Yeah, he's a monster. Well, you just look fucking, you look shorter. Go ahead. So, and then I was super fit, playing football, wrestling in the States, and then got injured and couldn't go to university and live that dream. And then my career took off, as I was saying earlier, just by faking it. And then, you know...
Starting point is 00:42:55 Wait, you were doing other weird shit. They're not fighting careers. Yeah, so the fighting thing... I didn't start fighting until I was in my early 30s. I'd never thrown a punch until my early 30s. I went to an amateur boxing competition. But you were fighting pirates.
Starting point is 00:43:08 Yeah. So I was doing counter surveillance. Let's not gloss over that. If we're going to keep doing this podcast, let's get into you're a fucking
Starting point is 00:43:16 Okie from Muskogee. Yeah, but it has to get glossed over because the security that he was doing, like a lot of people do security like, you know,
Starting point is 00:43:24 you do bodyguard security. You do the doorman at the bar security. the security that he was doing like a lot of people do security like uh you know you do the bodyguard security you do the doorman at the bar security the security that he did was like put security cameras into the most elite uh casinos in the world security so that was fat kid nerd security so we go back into that he could be obese and sitting in the chair and just being like, put the camera there. Put the camera there. But yeah, so prior to that, so I started out in surveillance and counter surveillance. And I was combating hijackings and piracy in the Straits of Malacca in Malaysia and Indonesia and kind of all over the world. malacca uh in malaysia and indonesia and kind of all over the world so criminals and and these these triad gangs would hijack containers of fucking dell computers or intel processors or gold or cash or whatever the same thing's happening in somalia and africa with the ships we were
Starting point is 00:44:17 dealing with in southeast asia and i worked for this firm somehow and i ran their asia operations to to combat this it was a real job real stakes and like real i had 2 000 employees and guns and shotguns and you know absolutely in over my head but and you just you fell into that by talking totally totally just bluff talk sweet talk my way into it i know i trust me i got this and they desperate, and no one wanted to go to Penang, Malaysia to take this job. And I said, okay. And there I was three months later with two suitcases. 23, you said?
Starting point is 00:44:52 23 years old. And when I got there, we had six staff. And four years later, I had almost 3,000. And we were all over Asia. Half of them were pirates. Most of them. Listen, if I'm going to keep this gig, I'm going to need more pirates.
Starting point is 00:45:08 So listen, you steal the Dell computers, they'll pretend to catch you. You'll get away by the skin of your teeth. We'll get the Dell computers back. The media will be there capturing the whole thing. You meet people in Singapore every once in a while. And again, my moral compass is wavered if you will but it's funny because living here you'll meet them by the drink it does go by
Starting point is 00:45:33 i would have never done this seven fucking whiskey sours ago but for sure and until now then you meet these people look legal now what you look legal enough. What? You look legal enough. They will literally break off, though. The Straits of Malacca, where he's talking about, it is like Somalia. So there are all these pirates that go up and down. We've met numerous people here in Singapore. Singapore, for those that don't know, again, for fans of Doug's podcast that aren't as worldly, this is like the Panama Canal. So like everything is going through here all the time.
Starting point is 00:46:10 So the Straits of Malacca. It was crazy. The first time that I looked out a plane window after a million and a half miles. Right. Where I looked down, it looked like if you've seen the movie Dunkirk. Yes. The amount of ships coming in.
Starting point is 00:46:23 When they had to, at the end. Correct. They had to nationalize all the private ships to get the troops out. And it's just this whole armada. That's what it looks like with these tankers and freighters or whatever. And they're all off the side. And they're all flowing through. And it's very amusing because you'll meet dudes here.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Again, Singapore is a country with zero crime rate. Zero crime rate. But, shit, 90% of these people do crimes at white collar levels it's just not at low level robbery or or whatever so you'll meet people in singapore for instance i've met homeboy rj if you will and they'll they'll be like nah i'm not i'm not into that i'm not into that i'm into human trafficking and it's like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa you're in a human trafficking short selling stock yeah somebody's got to make the buildings human trafficking is not all about sexual things doug it's not no no it's not always russian wars it's sometimes filipinoers but that's like and that's the way they roll where they
Starting point is 00:47:25 yes piping the fucking Indians in the packies in the correct and nobody nobody says a word
Starting point is 00:47:33 nobody nobody talks about it completely and again this country is again not the yeah we're not even
Starting point is 00:47:40 I'm not saying anything that nobody doesn't know anytime there's this much wealth, there is... Like you said, somebody's stepping on somebody's head. Someone's going down. Yeah. But they hide it well, and that makes you feel right at home. And this hotel pizza is fucking lovely.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Like, let's not overshadow... Like, the pizza was amazing, but I don't think... This has to be the nicest hotel I've stayed in. This room. I'm not kidding. They were really fucking late with answering the phone just to get ice. And they don't have an ice maker. You need to get the shit together. So fuck them.
Starting point is 00:48:16 But other than that, this is probably the most expensive. I don't want to seem like a sucker. Fuck them. Put an ice maker on the floor. Why do you have to? Cut it with the questions. Yeah, so... So where the hell...
Starting point is 00:48:27 You're fat. You're as fat as shit, Doug. You're 340 pounds. What do you weigh now? Like a buck 80? 200. 190 to 200. I weigh 68 pounds,
Starting point is 00:48:38 according to the scale in here. Those are probably kilos. Probably kilos. Doesn't matter. I'm going to call Bingo and say, I only weigh 68 pounds. Get your shit together, woman. She has weight issues.
Starting point is 00:48:48 And when she gets close to my weight, she panics. And now I'm going to take a picture of my bare feet on the scale where it says I weigh 68. And she's not going to notice the KG next to it. That's healthy. Healthy. Yeah. When you have a girl that has an eating issue,
Starting point is 00:49:06 always call her fat and make sure she knows she has no other options than you. Marital advice from Doug Stanhope, the W Hotel in Singapore. 13 years together. Well done, sir. Where is she going to go? Congratulations to both of you.
Starting point is 00:49:21 It's not about codependence. It's about dependence. Straight up. Yeah, so. it's not about codependence it's about dependence straight up yeah so I can trick her with Celsius not Celsius what is it
Starting point is 00:49:32 yeah Celsius same thing yeah same thing metric the metric system no it's not it's not important where do we go
Starting point is 00:49:41 from here Doug oh we're back to you being fat and then I want to let's focus on my fat shit. It's how you got out of that seat watching pirates on video camera. So I went to a...
Starting point is 00:49:55 They have this thing here called white collar boxing, which is fucking amazing. They take... Wait, okay. So you wound up in Singapore as a... I was still doing the security. So I went from the piracy... 40 is fucking bad. I can't imagine.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Dude, I literally, I was the guy who turned heads. Especially in, I'm in Southeast Asia, Doug. And I weigh 300 something pounds. I'm in Southeast Asia. It makes him like Shaquille O'Neal. It makes him like the Shaquille O'Neal of Asia. I was like the Shaquille O'Neal. That's exactly right the Shaquille O'Neal of Asia. I was like the Shaquille O'Neal. That's exactly right.
Starting point is 00:50:25 Yeah, the sideways version. Yeah, people are looking at him like, again, why would there be a human being like that? I went to a boxing match where they have these charity events where they get bankers and oil and gas dicks and all this stuff, and they train them for three months to box, and then it's like $3,000 a table. Your friends come,
Starting point is 00:50:46 watch you fight in a cage for three minutes or a ring for three minutes at a time. And I was hammered and went, I will fuck all of those people up, literally to my friends. And they called me on it. So I did it. And I fought in this white collar thing,
Starting point is 00:51:01 still fat as shit. I weighed 280 by the time I actually... Wait, it wasn't like you could go, I'm getting that ring right now and put you in. No, it took three months. You had to... I had to go learn to punch and how to put boxing gloves on. You talked shit and then had to back it up.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Yeah, because I literally just said it. I told all my friends, I'm going to the next one and I'm going to murder these guys. And then I lost some weight, got in shape, punched a guy in the face. Butterbean gets into the ring. I absolutely butterbeaned this guy. I just mauled him and caught him with an overhand. And when I knocked him out, said to the referee.
Starting point is 00:51:40 Oklahoma haymaker. I said to the ref, said, oh, this is my new shit. Like, exact words. Like, this, oh, this is my new shit. Like, this punching people is amazing. And then I went more boxing, and then went to kickboxing, and then I found jiu-jitsu, and then amateur
Starting point is 00:51:57 MMA. I'm guessing you lost a bunch of weight before the kick started. Before the kick started, I definitely, I got down under 300. Ankle kick, ankle kick, ankle kick. Uppercut. Yeah, exactly. How much were you when you were with Ole? How much were you when you were with him? He's a famous guy.
Starting point is 00:52:13 You project well, so just talk towards the mic. Yeah. Again, Brad met with a very famous fighter who's Danish named Ole Larson who owns camps in the Philippines and in Thailand. Ole is like a murderer. He's absolutely...
Starting point is 00:52:31 Legend Joe Rogan would know who he is. He's an absolute kickboxing... And he kind of took me in under his wing, and his words were, it makes no sense that you're doing this, but you have the right stupid Irish mindset. Just hang out with me and I'll teach you some shit. And then I fought at heavyweight and then light heavyweight.
Starting point is 00:52:51 And then as I kept losing weight, middleweight. And then, so that's... Is that unprecedented? I don't know if anyone else in the world has done it. Usually people just go up, right? Yeah, exactly. I fought at 265, 205, 185. It's like, I'm going to get AIDS
Starting point is 00:53:03 and I'm going to go from a heavyweight champion to a flyweight as I wither away. I was like the Christian Bale in that movie of fighters. Like Magic Johnson. Oh, the mechanic? Or Magic Johnson. Not the mechanic, but the machinist. The machinist, yeah. So I fought from 265 to 170 was my range of fighting.
Starting point is 00:53:24 And it was what? And the whole time, I'm insecure. I have a high school education from a farm town in Oklahoma. So the whole time, I'm in the mirror every day going, this can't be my actual fucking real adult human existence. This can't be what I'm doing. How is this? But I just kept doing it.
Starting point is 00:53:43 And then next thing you know i fought for like the ufc of asia called one championship and it's massive it's in the national stadium and it's pay-per-view and it's televised and it's it's and that's when i told you i was shitting razor blades right before i walked out and you know that's that's that's the the life i had the last few years but i oh wait i have the the The most humiliating defeat and the biggest victory. Okay, yeah. That's where we started. So I won my first 20 fights.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Now, they weren't all MMA. Some were Muay Thai. I fought pro Muay Thai, pro boxing. I just fought whatever I could. A fight's a fight. Yeah, it is. If it's a fuck... Yeah, people kicking you in the face, it doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:54:23 The rules said. And I just kept winning and just kept winning. But the whole time going, this is going to come to an end real soon and real ugly. And then kept winning and therefore... How many wins before a loss? All in, all combat sports, more than 20. More than 20, right? Yeah, that's going to weigh on your head. So I won the middleweight title for this group called World Series of Fighting Global Championship,
Starting point is 00:54:50 which is a fairly big organization. But it has gone under. They have since gone bust. But I'm the current reigning and will always be their middleweight champion. The belt is in a frame on the wall. I'm quite happy they went bust. I'm sure they're nice people, but fuck them. I hope they never resurge because I will be forever their middleweight champion.
Starting point is 00:55:09 And so I won a five-round title fight against a massive Filipino guy that's on roids. And it was a terrible, crazy fight. And he hit me hard enough. It hit my life. And I choked him out in the last round and won. It was like Rudy. It was the Rudy. Nice.
Starting point is 00:55:24 The fat guy goes To the Philippines And chokes his guy out After getting his ass beat For 20 minutes And won this title Got it on tape Got it on
Starting point is 00:55:32 It'll be on YouTube It'll be on YouTube forever Do you show it to your kids Of course Of course I do That's the whole point How old are the kids The whole point
Starting point is 00:55:39 How old are the kids Do you 10 and 9 So you don't have to Repeat it anymore You started when They're 3 or 4. Yeah, exactly. They get it.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Look at the thing on the wall, kids. Look what dad did. Now the kids are 10 and 9. Did they ever show it to their friends? So my oldest recently came to me. They actually last week and said, Dad, I Googled you. I have a sketchy.
Starting point is 00:56:07 I've done some shit in my day saw some shit that jason mayhem miller put up on youtube in a hotel room in thailand it was terrifying when your son says i googled you dad and he found a video it's terrifying when my girlfriend says it i don't have kids it's not it's not it's not good you know like i gotta make you a got to turn you into a non-shitty human being, and you're saying that your father was elbowing people in a bloodbath fight in Thailand is a real hard thing to be a role model for. You go, don't punch the kids at school. He goes, yeah, but Dad, I saw you stomp a guy's head
Starting point is 00:56:37 and smile afterwards, and they gave you a belt for it, and you got money. That was my big win. I won a title, the whole thing. All my friends and family were there. It was the dream. It was my Rudy moment. The ego was fucking through the roof.
Starting point is 00:56:51 It was great. I hope it's the next fight that's the humiliating one. The hubris set in because of that. And I got offered a fight on short notice. Is it the next fight? Tell me. It is the next fight. Good.
Starting point is 00:57:06 And it's back for a bit. This is a Rudy moment for the podcast. It goes exactly the way I want it to go. It goes south very quickly, right? So I fight this kid. Where are you? I'm in Singapore in the National Stadium. And it's the biggest card.
Starting point is 00:57:21 The hometown. My whole crew is there, right? But it was the biggest card. The hometown. My whole crew is there, right? But it was a big fight. It was late notice because some Russian guy got hurt. And Brad, can you step in and save this fight and fight this guy? And I went, let me Google him. He's 20. Murder this.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Fuck him. Like, yeah, I'm in. Now, at the time, I was drinking a beer on a boat when the call came in. Not in fight shape. But went, I'm a world Now, at the time, I was drinking a beer on a boat when the call came in. Not in fight shape. But went, I'm a world champion. I can handle it. And he beat the ever-living piss out of me. It was my first ever serious.
Starting point is 00:57:54 I got TKO'd, hammer-fisted in about three minutes. And my move, what I found out when adversity sets in, is to assume the fucking fetal position and look to the referee would you please make him stop hitting me and that was the last time I've ever stepped inside you don't let the kids watch that video they don't know about that fight but the other ones
Starting point is 00:58:17 that's been banned from their YouTube channel but yeah so it literally went from the highest of highs to a humiliating crushing defeat and i had the unfortunate decision i had a man bun it was a man bun era i had a man bun at the time and even the announcers were going hey this podcast is over sorry that's justified yeah it's it's uh that's my that's my moment. That's my mullet. I had the mullet, yeah. That's my mullet moment,
Starting point is 00:58:47 was a man bun in a cage getting fucking hammer-fisted by a guy who I could actually be his father. I'm 17 years older than him, and he beat the shit out of me and made me go, you know, my career, my real job is doing great. So that was only a couple years ago. It was 18 months ago or so.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Oh, that was the last one? That was the last fight. Yeah, I'm kind of over it. You've won everyone and you lost one to a fucking child and then quit? I don't want to play anymore. I guess I can't blame you for quitting after. Hey, listen. The first time my kid beat me at Mario Kart, I said, we'll never play again.
Starting point is 00:59:21 That's just how I can't help it. Congratulations. The first time you hammer-fisted him. But then when he came back and beat you, you quit. Yeah, yeah. So now I do other shit now. The fighting thing is not so entertaining. It was really good.
Starting point is 00:59:36 The victories are amazing, but the loss, that was tough, man. That was hard. So yeah, they were back-to-back, which is fitting. You could have gone out on top but you still can when we set up yeah exactly brad robinson versus brad robinson i'll i'll do it in bisbee we can make this happen so so the backstory here because this was not on the podcast that's right we haven't talked about this brad robinson there's two mma fighters named brad robinson hennigan looked you up he goes well there's two i assume it's this one because he lives in singapore and uh so much more irish
Starting point is 01:00:13 than scottish on that note but well he's fucking a posh scottish he's come on there's no such thing come on there's no such thing he's a fancy He's a fancy lad. Have you not talked? He hasn't talked. I think he left, or maybe he's sleeping in my bed or masturbating in my bathroom. So there's two Brad Robinsons, so you will come back for Brad Robinson versus Brad Robertson. Because there can be only one. There can be only one. Highlander.
Starting point is 01:00:41 You fight for the name. Yeah, I think the only way that I would come back, and I'm sure he's a lovely guy. He's Canadian, so I'm sure he's a nice guy. And you know, it's not about, you think of it as an art. You're not scared. No, this is just a, I want to test my skill set. Against another Brad Robinson.
Starting point is 01:00:59 Like, I want to know who the better Brad Robinson athlete is. But I think your idea, which is we fight for the name. The only way I'm coming back, the only way that gets me back into an MMA cage is if we sign a paper that says the loser has to give up the name and their opponent chooses a symbol much like Prince that they can only be referred to for the rest of their existence. I think I went too far by suggesting you brand the symbol.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Yeah, that's too much. That's a bit intense. But I think... But you do... The fighter formerly known as... I said you name the other one Kimbo Slice since he's dead and he's not using it anymore. But anyway, you have to give up the name
Starting point is 01:01:38 at least so far as promoting yourself. I like it. You can never fight again as Brad Robinson. And Brad Robinson versus Brad Robinson, you know what? It sells as many tickets as fucking chick fights. It's got to be in Bisbee, though. It does.
Starting point is 01:01:54 We will make a stage. Yeah. You have a pool? No. Okay, well, we need to find a pool. Well, we kind of have one house as a pool, but it's... No, but we can build a stage.
Starting point is 01:02:06 We have a chicken drop stage. You know what chicken drop is? Yes. Yeah, we have that, so we can just level that up. We can make this happen, and we can pay-per-view the motherfucker. If Louis C.K. can put out a special on his website, we can pay-per-view Brad versus Brad for the Bisbee. Again, for the letter title.
Starting point is 01:02:29 I would suggest that one of you goes by the name of the Trilams. Again, so it goes into the revenge of the nerds, if you will. And the loser has to be called Lambda Lambda Lambda for the rest of their fucking life. We have to do some research on the other Brad to find out. I don't know. He's Canadian. I don't know much about him.
Starting point is 01:02:50 I don't know what weight class he's in, but if we fight in Asia, that's kind of insignificant anyway. The rule set doesn't really matter. No, we can build this. I think... I would love to do this. This has got legs.
Starting point is 01:03:03 I really think people would watch that just to see who's the last Brad standing. Last Brad standing. Last Brad standing. Oh, man, we have a million. You sold it. Trademark it. You got it.
Starting point is 01:03:14 I would so fucking not book. Wait, April 26th? No, I'm not, because this Brad versus Brad is on that night. Don't book me that night. Again, let's go against Mayweather whenever he has his next fight, just to do it. Just go against him.
Starting point is 01:03:31 So you could either be watching Mayweather or Brad versus Brad. Stupid fucking decision. That would actually be, if you put that kind of, no, you can't fight. You lose your name. really think all fighting should be winner takes all oh like nope no you get a show money and win money if you're fucking Mayweather
Starting point is 01:03:57 no there's a purse and the winner takes the fucking purse no fuck your shit goes home in defeat. Yes. Alone. By themselves. Empty and broke.
Starting point is 01:04:08 Scorned. Yes. Because you could, at a certain level, you could lose a fight and look at the check they wrote you and go, this is a fucking live victory. Let's pop a bottle. And that's why I hate that fucking McGregor fucking clean.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Yeah, yeah. He's jumped the shark. I mean, he's jumped the shark. He's jumped the shark. It's the reason Trump is president. If you go from that to everyone likes bluff talking fucking
Starting point is 01:04:38 zero He just got signed up at Burger King. We just got to a place where we can kill this. I'm not gonna... That's probably the good end to this. Conor McGregor,
Starting point is 01:04:50 go fuck yourself. Yeah. And Floyd Mayweather. Anyone else? We got Trump, we got Floyd, we got the other Brad Robinson, and we got Conor.
Starting point is 01:05:00 No, Trump is actually... That's the revenge. You spent all this time from fucking watching you know jersey shore and this is what we get this is like when you're when you love it when you get i fucking love it you know you get in trouble like i would get in trouble and and when i was a kid and my mom would say and i would just proclaim i swear on my life i didn't do whatever it is and she would go well this is something you didn't got away
Starting point is 01:05:28 with was her line and I feel like that's the Trump presidency I didn't I'm not directly responsible but I allowed this other shit to go on as a citizen of America and that's what happened now I get exactly what I deserve and I have to take my spankings yep except for
Starting point is 01:05:44 the fact except for the dumb political except for the fact. Except for the fact that we live over here. You live in Singapore. Nobody cares. It doesn't bother me at all. I'm close to dead. I don't vote and I live 10,000 miles away for the last 16 years. So it really is insignificant, in my opinion. Well, a lot of people in Oklahoma miss you.
Starting point is 01:06:02 And this is not just a podcast. It's an intervention. There's a lot of people in Oklahoma that have worried about you here in Singapore for 10 years. And they'd like to see you back in the Tom Jode fucking Dust Bowl Ranch. All right.
Starting point is 01:06:20 Fuck Oklahoma. Move to Singapore. Thank you. I had a lot of fun. Moments. We did a commercial? No. We can do another commercial.
Starting point is 01:06:33 We'll do some due diligence on the other Brad. Yeah. Vancouver Brad. Before we go get this fight made. And you should, if he does have a Twitter, taunt him without talking about this podcast. Just taunt him going,
Starting point is 01:06:55 I heard you're too afraid to fight the real Brad. You're not the real Brad. You're not the real Brad Robinson. Don't do exactly what we're saying. Find your own way to say it so it doesn't sound like you're just parroting fucking AM talk radio. Just find your own way. Heard you're Brad Robinson, but you're not the real Brad Robinson.
Starting point is 01:07:19 There can only be one. It's not meth. It's not. It's not meth. All right. That's a close one. That's not meth. It's not. It's not meth. You're not meth. That's a wrap. That's a wrap. Done.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Thank you. Part time. time laugh your laughs and eat your heats it's party time smile your smiles and blow your blues it's party time dance yourls and suck your socks It's party time Oh baby, crap your craps and fuck your fucks It's party time Crap your craps and fuck your fucks It's party time Everybody
Starting point is 01:08:40 Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time. One more! Crap your crap, Sam, fuck your fucks, it's party time. Here we go! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time!
Starting point is 01:09:07 Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time!
Starting point is 01:09:15 Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time!
Starting point is 01:09:23 Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Hey! Party time! Yeah! Huh! Party time!

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