The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #278: James Inman Hates Us, Them & You and Here Is Why
Episode Date: September 26, 2018James Inman is mad as hell and he is not gonna take it anymore. So, Doug flew James out to Bisbee to explain his online rants, why Chad is getting $1,175 to read one email and what or who caused his b...an from Twitter. Email your questions for the podcast to stanhopepodcast@gmail.comRecorded Sep. 20th, 2018 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), James Inman, Mat Becker (@houdini357), Chad Shank (@HDFatty), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Chaille.This episode is sponsored by[MyBookie.ag](MyBookie.ag) - Sign up today and MyBookie will match your deposit dollar for dollar. Use promo code STANHOPE when creating your account to claim the bonus. If you’re willing to deposit after 7 p.m. Eastern Time, they’ll give you an additional $25 free play on deposits over $100\. Use SPECIAL Promo Code STANHOPE25 for this exclusive offer.BlueApron.com - Blue Apron guarantees the freshness of all your ingredients and delivers them in an insulated box right to your door. Check out this week’s menu and get your first 3 meals free at [www.BLUEAPRON.com/STANHOPE](www.BLUEAPRON.com/STANHOPE). STANHOPE MERCH - NEW! Chad Shank T-Shirts, “Popov Vodka Presents” VHS Tapes and the NEW KILLER TERMITES T-Shirt now available at [http://www.DougStanhope.com/store](http://www.DougStanhope.com/store)Support the Innocence Project - [http://www.innocenceproject.org](http://www.innocenceproject.org)Chad Shank Voice Over info at [http://www.AudioShank.com](http://www.AudioShank.com)James told to put a link up for The UnBookables Movie. He didn't ask, he didn't say please and no doubt he will neglect to say Thank You. That's just James. Watch the Trailer here - [https://www.imdb.com/videoplayer/vi33858585](https://www.imdb.com/videoplayer/vi33858585) Buy the DVD here - [https://amzn.to/2xDu2RF](https://amzn.to/2xDu2RF)Closing audio (1) James Inman's first Voice Mail for Andy Andrist, (2) James Inman's second Voice Mail for Andy Andrist, (3) James Inman's first Voice Mail for Chaille.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast.
You want to start with the tape?
Hello, no one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone.
No one is available to take your call.
Please leave a message after the tone.
Have your cell phone up in your butthole at all times.
Can you pick up the phone when I call?
I only call when it's an emergency.
I have done everything you've said.
Everything you asked me to say, I did.
I trust you and I trust Doug.
Here's the deal.
Finn Scott, that motherfucker from Australia, is posting video from Panamint on YouTube.
And Doug and you and Shaylee and everyone said,
don't bring a video camera to Panamint.
And now he's posting shit without asking me.
You know, it's edited wrong at the beginning,
and the end starts off fucked up.
I mean, come on.
This is bullshit.
You can't post video from Panamint unless we all agree,
or, you know, unless somebody calls me,
and, you know, we look at a video or something.
This is bullshit.
I call Doug.
He's not answering the phone.
I send you an email.
I send him a Twitter.
I mean, you know, I messaged Ben Scott.
He's not getting back to me.
This is wrong, you know, because, I mean, I know all kinds of shit about you and Doug.
I can post everything.
Really.
Honestly, I've never
badmouthed you on the fucking
internet. I've never said negative
shit about you on Twitter.
Or Doug. I mean, this is
bullshit. I'll drive out to
Bisley tomorrow. I'll do another
goddamn podcast, you
motherfucker.
Oh my God, you midget alien
motherfucking
goddamn
toothless fucking
elf midget piece of shit.
Call me back
or fucking Doug, call me
back or something. He's an alien.
You're both aliens. You're both
in the goddamn CIA.
Fucking call me back.
And James Inman wasn't lying.
He will come to Bisbee
to do a podcast again.
Welcome James Inman, everyone.
Hey!
Welcome, James.
Welcome back.
That was just one of several voicemails.
That was to Brian Hennigan.
He's the midget, toothless elf.
I believe he does have teeth and stuff.
That would mean, look, I was drunk, all right?
It wasn't mean if he has teeth.
I don't drink every day like you do.
I just happened to be drunk, and I snapped, all right?
That's my defense.
You have a similar problem to me where you don't appear any different when you're drunk.
That didn't sound drunk.
That just sounded like Inman.
That sounded normal.
That could have been 830 in the morning on your way to work with your work shoes.
It's a character that I play only around you.
All right.
I'm actually a nice person in real life.
Yeah, yeah.
But don't do that on the podcast.
All right.
So let's back up.
I guess like 12 years to where this started.
This was when Bingo and I were on a train trip.
I had my cell phone off, didn't have my laptop, avoiding everything.
Ten days on the train.
But I would turn on my cell phone just to make sure if it was an emergency,
Chaley would call me.
But I got messages from you.
Call me!
It's a fucking emergency!
You're putting up videos from 12 years ago.
Right, but the video sucked.
Okay, for the listener,
we brought up those old Death Valley parties a million times.
So there was a clip Ben Scott, our friend who now lives in Australia,
put up that you were going fucking...
It's an emergency.
There's something on YouTube.
Right, right.
Because everyone was... What was the because everyone was what was the full story
because everybody i got into an argument about roseanne barr on facebook everybody was calling
me a racist just because i defended roseanne barr i was defending free speech all right that doesn't
even make me all right all right so right around the same time this happened, when everyone was ganging up on me,
then Ben Scott posted this video.
And I'm like, Jesus Christ, it's endless. I can't get away from this.
Tell us what the video was.
It was like we were sitting around and joking,
what's the most offensive joke you've ever told on stage?
And so, you know, we're all
drunk. But see, back then
is different from now. You say
the wrong thing now, you can lose
everything. You know,
just like Roseanne, just like Alex
Jones. I mean, they're censoring everybody now.
Are you going to take away your hat?
Right.
So, it's like this, you know,
this will go down on your permanent record.
Remember when Twitter used to be fun where you just write shit and it just like still is.
Right.
But well, the way you explained it to me, because he did take that video down before I could ever see it again.
This was I was on vacation for a long time.
Right.
And I'm not on Facebook, so I don't know what's going on.
All I know is he posted a video.
Right.
Where there is a video.
When you go, there's a rule.
Right.
There is a video of me drinking piss.
Who posted that on YouTube?
That slipped through the cracks.
That was a camera.
That was when cameras first came on
phones and what's his name?
The guy that used to work for
MySpace. Who posted it on YouTube?
That was back before. I don't even know.
What?
But no, I mean.
After I saw it, I posted it.
Of course.
You posted it.
So what?
Greg, when was this posted?
Fuck you
When was it posted?
2012
2012, you posted it
Yourself
Knowing you're on camera
Yeah, what is your point?
The point is, someone who posted this
Wasn't even supposed to have a camera.
You were performing for cameras.
Right.
This video is funny.
The shit that fucking Australia dumb fuck posted wasn't funny.
Forgot his name.
Ben Scott.
Yeah.
Ben posted, and you explained this to me finally when we had you coming out for the podcast.
They cut out the opening part
of everyone tell your most offensive joke
and they just cut to you
telling an offensive joke
that you thought was going to put you in the same
racist brand as
Roseanne Ballard. Now tell me
the joke that you told
on that clip. The joke was
do you know, it's actually a misogynist joke.
You ever kill, guys, you know, help me out, guys.
You ever kill a girl just to get her attention?
Do you ever notice whichever way you move her head, it always seems like she's looking away.
That was the joke.
Which is not racist in the least.
No, but... Unless she's black.
But you can hear Emory
in the background. I mean, why should I
try to explain what was going
through my head that night when I was
drunk and it was just chaos anyway?
What does it matter? It was craziness.
You know? Not something that's
going to send pitchforks to the old James Inman household.
I don't know.
I mean, you know, you get in a philosophical argument about current events on Facebook,
and next thing you know, people are calling you a racist, and then a video comes on.
I've already been banned off of Facebook for 30 days.
What would you rather be, known as a piss drinker or a racist?
A piss drinker.
Okay, well, that's what you're known as.
Okay, so this is how it starts.
I'm on vacation with a lovely wife in a nice sleeper car on Amtrak, avoiding my phone.
And then I get these messages.
And then later emails.
I have a string of emails here, James.
No, Steve.
Why do you do that?
That's the other thing that you do that I don't understand why you have to do that.
When I send an email to you, that email goes to you.
Why do you think everyone else wants to hear it?
You always have forwarded my email like, look what James Inman wrote.
It's like, why do you do that?
You see Brian Hennigan in a lot of these.
Right.
If I did, that's when I
wanted him to read that.
To be fair, as part of the CIA,
those are public information.
Oh, come on.
Whatever.
It starts soft. I was getting these voicemails, basically the Whatever. It starts soft.
I was getting these voicemails, basically the same.
They're redundant.
But this is the first one, July 23rd.
I'm on a train.
You had called me.
I didn't answer.
So you took that as a personal affront and then went over my head to my manager, Brian
Hannigan, and said, God damn, are you sleeping?
What good are you?
People are uploading video of Panaman.
That's at 1601,
which is, I guess, 401
military time.
23 minutes later,
23 minutes later,
yeah, you email Brian
Hannigan again and say,
With the shit I know
about Doug, I can bring down your
entire empire.
Test me, bitch. Call me back
or call Ben Scott.
He's uploading video of Panaman.
I seriously don't
think you need to be fucking with me right
now because I can fuck you big time.
I'm not kidding.
This is not a joke.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
We'll get to that at some point.
What, Doug? You've never done anything
stupid when you're drunk?
No.
It's pretty funny.
You've never said anything stupid?
I don't remember a lot of it, but when they tell me in the morning,
I laugh.
Can we get him
to be on the mic, Doug?
Don't worry. Where's the trash? I hate this. Can we get him to be on the mic, Doug? Yeah, don't worry.
I'm reading.
No, I mean, he's not even, he's not, I'm getting low levels on him.
This one you sent to Brian Hennigan and CC'd me and Chaley.
I know you check your email all the time.
Call Ben Scott.
Tell him to take that video down.
You don't ever want to fuck with the village idiot.
Okay, that was an hour and a half later to all three of us.
He finally gets on the mic and spits all over him.
I'm a writer, all right?
When I'm mad, I'm able to put my feelings into words.
So I just say the most fucked up shit I could think of oh this oh you oh you do next
and this is where again i'm still on a 10-day train trip oblivious to all the facebook and
at some point you wrote a diatribe that you emailed to me and then posted publicly on facebook
why would you forward my email exactly that's why i did do that
right because after i wrote that email i was like fuck him he forwards my emails to everybody
i'm gonna take this and put it on my web page okay and yeah and the backs but i don't chad i
don't do who who started the go fund me i caught up with all of this so late, but someone started a GoFundMe page because they thought your Facebook rant that's...
I'll look it up and tell you.
But a guy on Facebook...
Because my end of it, I didn't know any of this stuff, was that James said he unfriended everybody.
People started tagging me and things saying, oh, James unfriended everybody on Facebook
because he's upset with everyone.
When that happened, everyone was like, what's
going on? And then they read the thing.
Yeah, they read the thing. But I'll tell you why I did
that too also, but go ahead.
Well, then I was on Facebook.
People were tagging me on it because
apparently I got unfriended or otherwise I
wouldn't have known. And then
at some point when the rant was posted in the comment section,
somebody said we should set up a GoFundMe
for Chad Shank to read James Inman's rant.
Like an audio book.
Right.
And somebody set it up.
Somebody set it up.
And you made over $1,000.
Right.
And that's when I woke up the next morning and I said,
oh, Chad Shank is making $1,000 for reading what.
Don't get ahead of yourself.
The funny part.
Don't.
Well, after this, you can tell us what happened the next morning.
But first, Chad.
Right.
And you can defend this.
Well, all right.
I don't know.
I guess I could read it two different ways.
I did get paid a lot of money to read it, and it's pretty short.
But I can read it and try to give Inman the authority that he probably wanted it to have.
Dear Doug Stanhope, I'm tired of being your friend, and I'm tired of your fucking husband.
Okay, hold on
so that
or I could try to read it the way
that the rest of us
why don't you let me read it
I'll read the goddamn thing
well he got paid to read it
so we have to
do your job
no fuck it
I'm tired of being your friend and I'm tired of your your job. Dear Doug Stenner. No, fuck you.
I'm tired of being your friend.
And I'm tired of your fucking friends and fans.
I hate the fact that Brian can't pick up
the goddamn phone when I call.
So, it's up to you guys.
No, fuck you.
No, no.
The way that I hear it.
Whenever I read it.
That is bullshit.
You're gonna hear it.
Just read it
however the listener can hear
all the details.
Like a normal human.
It's the content that the people
need to hear.
Dear Doug Stanhope,
I'm tired of being your friend,
and I'm tired of your fucking friends and fans.
I hate the fact that Brian can't pick up the goddamn phone when I call,
or when there's a fucking emergency.
I don't care anymore.
I'm tired of you making fun of me,
and all your friends making fun of me.
I fucking hate you, and Brian, and Shaylee,
or however you spell his fucked up name. I can't
think of one friend of yours outside of Andy or Messica that I can spend more than two seconds
around without wanting to rip my ears off and scratch my eyes out. Oh my god, they're all so
fucking stupid. They don't read, they don't think. Their hearts are filled with hate and every
fucking word out of their mouth and your mouth is just mocking bullshit to me. I seriously don't
know why I loved you and supported you for so long. I was talking to Brenda the other day and
I said, what does it matter that I'm friends with Doug? I've supported him. I've loved him.
And I laughed when he made fun of me. What have I got out of
this relationship? Nothing.
Seriously, it hasn't helped
my career at all. I don't have
any more money or success now than before
I met him.
I was actually doing pretty well
on my own before I met you.
All the crap that went down
with the unbookables was total bullshit.
You not only didn't help us at all, but you actively took steps to fuck shit up. All the crap that went down with the unbookables was total bullshit.
You not only didn't help us at all, but you actively took steps to fuck shit up.
You didn't tweet one goddamn thing about the movie when we cut on Comedy Dynamics.
I fucking bawled my eyes out.
Hold on, I need a drink.
Now you're just surrounded by self-absorbed cunts just like you.
Mishka's an idiot cunt.
I never liked Chaley, never liked Brian.
What good are you? As a friend, who gives a fuck?
We're all going to die anyway like Sean and Randy.
I was just giving you time to drink.
What?
You skipped a part, though.
Oh, there's small differences between what he emailed me and Chase.
Oh, is there?
Yeah, because I corrected the spelling and grammar.
I fucking bawled my eyes out over that, you cunt.
Now you have fucking literal racists that love your act. I told
you years ago libertarianism
was bullshit.
Now you're just surrounded by self-absorbed
cunts just like you.
Mishka is an idiot cunt.
I've never liked Shaley.
Never liked Brian. What good
are you? As a friend,
who gives a fuck? We're all gonna
die anyway, just like Sean
and Randy. I've had to be friends with your friends and act like I like them when you
couldn't even be nice to my friend Jeff. One of the coolest, smartest guys I've ever met
in my life. And you couldn't be cool with them. Fuck you. Goddamn, I'm just thinking of all the douchebags that I've had to deal
with around you. Just total turds. But oh goddamn, god forbid a guy wants to make a
documentary about the Unbookables, a group you created, a group you started, and you
couldn't just be nice to him. He was smart enough to say fuck Doug, we can do this on
our own. But you had to fuck shit up.
All the people who love you the most, you treat like shit.
When someone drew a goddamn swastika on my forehead, you just laughed and didn't give a fuck when I was crying.
Sorry, I was just picturing Edmund crying with a swastika on his forehead.
and Craig.
Didn't say one fucking thing to the loser cunts
who did it to me. Who weren't even
comics. They were just more of your
stupid cunt fans. And this is
where we're going to delete a name.
We're going to delete it
because this is really fucking rude. So go
ahead. Seriously.
That lady.
I wasn't even going to say it.
I figured it would just go there.
Seriously.
You're friends with that fat whore?
Goddamn.
She's got to be the biggest goddamn cunt idiot I've ever met in my life.
Not one fucking word out of her mouth to me was ever nice.
And you took her side over mine?
Just because of a stupid prank? I thought you were the brilliant prankster i thought oh shit doug's gonna do something funny to get her back oh god no you
just laughed at me and made me look like the dick i fucking hated you for that that is why i never
went back to any of your parties then i have to ride back with your fucking idiot friend Becker
and his stupid wife, who also made me feel like a dick.
You always made me feel like a loser because I never had money
or I needed a ride to your shit parties with your shit friends.
It's amazing I even showed up.
I'm sorry, but I just can't get over that
time you didn't have my back when they
drew the swastika on my forehead.
I can't forgive you for never
at least trying to be
nice to Jeff, my best friend.
Like I was nice to
your friends.
I can't wrap my brain around how
you've never even tweeted about the unbookables.
I fucking cried
my eyes out over that, you cunt.
God damn, I
hate you. And you are not
my friend anymore.
Fuck you, and fuck
all your friends.
Rebuttal James What?
Um
Yeah I mean
That girl that
You deleted her name
I mean yeah that's cool you deleted her name
But yeah
I was always nice to her
I was always nice to her
And she was never just just after
that movie came out she hated my guts that's the part you picked to defend
the first thing what um well i i like i mean there's a lot of stuff in there to defend
let me let me hey doug doug i've really got to get him to be on the mic he's just too far away
from it.
Yeah, just pull it.
You can pull it towards you.
That was just one thing.
You know, I mean, there's a lot of things in there.
It's just like that was the first thing off the top of my head.
I can go beat by beat.
I was talking to Brenda the other day, and I said, what does it matter?
I'm friends with Doug's.
I supported him.
What did I get out of this relationship?
Nothing.
Seriously, it hasn't helped my career at all. Is that what you looked for out of this relationship nothing seriously it hasn't helped my career
at all is that what you look for
out of my friendship I thought we were
closer well I mean
why can't you just like when you're mad
and you want to write something
you just like why do you have to
take it literally it's like this
these are all my feelings if I can find
a way to put them into words but there's no
words so I'm just going to say this.
You know?
I mean, it's not technically, it's not like it's mathematics, you know, where you can know exactly this is what James meant.
It's just fucking...
Well, I mean, there's undertones.
Right.
Technically, just because of this, because of being friends with Doug, I made a lot of money.
Actually, I was just thinking in terms of what if I never met Doug and I just kept doing clean comedy and it wasn't an unbookable.
I would still be on the road doing comedy and I don't care if it's hacky or whatever.
I'd be happy.
James, when we met in the 90s you were doing anything
but clean comedy you were we feed you shots of jagermeister and watch you lay on your back and
stomp your feet screaming at everyone on stage you didn't start doing clean comedy till after
9-11 when you get scared we've been been over this on previous podcasts. Well, I mean, when you say scare,
of course nobody's going to talk about 9-11 on stage,
but I mean, I don't know.
I was just imagining what my life would be like
if I did just regular stand-up comedy
and wasn't an unbookable,
because it was a huge risk that I took to do this film,
because it's all of a sudden,
okay,
you're an unbookable.
That means you can't get,
get work at funny bone or squiggly comics,
Mike and stool,
you know,
just to keep everyone listening up to speed.
The,
your best friend that you refer to Jeff was the director of the unbookable.
Right.
And so you said to me,
you kind of warned me,
are you sure you want to be known as an unbookable comic? I mean, this might fuck up your career to where you can't get any work, you know?
No, I think that was Brendan Walsh I said that to. And I didn't say it like that at all, but he was the bookable one of the unbookables. You already had a hard time getting booked.
You already had a hard time getting booked.
All the unbookables were called unbookables for different reasons.
Erickson, very bookable, but he couldn't really take work because he had to keep a day job.
He had kids and a divorce and a shared custody.
Travis Lipsky was a fucking loose cannon.
Right, right.
Andy Andrist, obviously unbookable forever. But it was a risk.
But you keep, and this has been a mainstay throughout our relationship since the unbookables, which came out, was that 2007 or 8?
What's your point?
My point is, well, you keep talking to me about not promoting the unbookables, which my name is attached to.
Right, right, right.
Are we talking about... Yeah.
It's been 10 years.
No, the movie technically does not come out until it gets a distributor.
Nobody knows what the fuck it is.
It's just some independent film.
Ask any filmmaker.
Is Amazon not a distributor?
Yes, that was our first distributor
that you didn't give a fuck about when we got that you're eating peanuts that amazon brought
us they distribute everything they're not real peanuts they're not real i was proud of that but
i was not as proud when we got comedy dynamics i was proud of that the first distributor was
kind of like bullshit you know kevin booth helped us out with that oh yeah
he helped me out with it right right kevin booth helped us get that distributor right and then i
me and my manager from new york uh roger paul he was friends with the vice president of comedy
dynamics and that's how we got on Comedy Dynamics. Alright. But regardless.
Brian Hinnigan could have made one fucking phone call.
And got us a distributor.
But I had to do all the work.
Alright.
I had to do all the work.
You know.
And to get us a real distributor.
To make that a real movie.
Wait.
You just named a lot of people that aren't you.
That talk to Comedy Dynamics.
Do you remember who talked to them. the only premiere I ever went to?
You talked to them after I got the contract.
I already got the contract.
I seriously got the contract.
I mean, from Comedy Dynamics.
We talked that night because I...
Before I told you I got the contract before I told you about Comedy Dynamics.
I mean, because basically it was a matter of,
oh, you know the vice president of Comedy Dynamics, Roger Paul?
Yes.
Can you talk to him, give him this link,
and I'll build a website and he'll watch the film.
The guy watches the film, sends me the contract,
I send it to Jeff, and then I call you to brag about it.
We got the contract before you ever knew about it.
I remember this differently, but this is not the point.
The point is this 10-year-old movie, which I did look up hit movies from 2008 last night.
I Google searched Wall-E.
That's a good one.
Wall-E is good.
Mamma Mia.
Mamma Mia came out in 2008.
You're trying to wind me up in 2008 because you know you know who
doesn't promote those movies anymore the stars of those movies because nobody else is promoting it
why not why can't i mean you know you promote your shit i mean you know you've got merch page
you guys should get uh no refunds it just came out 11 years ago. No, I don't do that.
This is the only thing I got, and you want to mock that.
I'm like, this is why I don't...
Ah, my brain can't work.
This is why I don't give a flying fuck
that I wrote that. Because you have
everything, and I'm mocking
someone powerful, and I have nothing,
and yet you still mock me.
I have one movie and you
fucking make fun of it.
You got all kinds of shit.
And you have all this power.
I wrote it.
That's what I did
for the last 10 years since no refunds.
I wrote new shit.
That's not what I'm talking about.
This
movie is
a project that I
helped.
This movie is something
like the Greyhound Diary.
This is another thing that I'm in.
This project thing, which you are a producer
of. I don't know how
that happened, but I know
one name, Brian Hennigan.
Right.
When you were going to use the name
Unbookables, he came in,
we can't let him do that
because we own that title,
the Unbookables. So then I
became a producer.
That's not how it happened.
Well, Brian's not here to defend
himself.
The only people see this is a he said, she said.
That's all I remember is a girl in this.
Are you the she?
All right.
There's a video online where I explain it.
You must have been drunk the whole time.
I can't wait to see that.
I was too busy watching this video.
I'm going in different places, but the rule is once you're on a roll, you should shut the fuck up.
You must have been drunk you must have been
drunk the entire time this happened because i remember it differently all right oh i was giving
you that credit is that my memory is suspect right what i remember is you calling me to tell me that
you had this guy that wanted to produce the thing and you were going to do it right and i remember
saying do whatever the fuck you want because I was busy doing other shit.
Yeah, sure, do whatever you want.
I can't do it. I can't be there.
That's what I remember.
I remember Brian
wanting to protect the name
so he
put his claws in. Do you remember signing the contract?
I mean, you were there. No.
People give you a contract. I just sign anything
you put in front of me, James. Somebody gives you a contract.
Okay, all right.
So if you put like a will that you had made up for my estate to go to you and go, hey,
my friend from Kansas City wants your autograph.
Will you just sign this?
I would sign it without looking.
That's the fucking lamest fucking argument I've ever heard in my life.
We need to get my friend Jason Lindstrom.
No, first of all, what you just said has a fucking argument.
All right.
It's not an argument.
I'm saying it.
You're right.
I'm sure I signed a contract.
Right, right.
My friend, Jason Lindstrom, who lives in Bisbee, that I befriended because of you.
All right.
That's another reason you have a lot.
Is he one of the friends that you hate?
Shut up.
Or not hate? And, yeah, if he one of the friends that you hate shut up not hate
and yeah if he was here me and all my friends here i would bring him in and go that's the lamest
fucking argument i've ever heard in my life and he's an expert james it's not an argument i'm
saying of course i probably signed a contract i don't know what it said i'd have a manager if
someone if i signed something okay, I was not personally invested.
We kind of knew that you weren't personally invested, right?
So I'm on the phone with Norm Wilkerson, and we're all like, well, it sounds like he wants to do the film.
He didn't say no.
And Norm goes, yeah, and it sounds like he doesn't want to help us.
So what should we do, Norm?
Let's just make it ourselves and just fuck it.
We'll just make this goddamn movie.
And you never stopped us.
You never said, hey, stop filming that film.
I didn't.
I didn't care.
I didn't expect it would ever be still an issue 10 years later.
I thought you'd just...
Still an issue 10 years later?
The film is a fucking cult classic
for comedy okay this is where we're going did you like the film i love this yeah she's a lawyer and
she's smart please hold well it's different now that sean rouse is dead and sean rouse is now her
favorite comic because of the unbookables and that's a great thing all right you're giving me
the 30 minute mark i'm just letting you know we're at 30.
Oh yeah, this is going to go forever. We have no advertising
on this.
I asked you what ad copy.
You go, we don't have advertising.
I said we're not recording it today.
We just need to take a break. Just relax.
I don't want to take a break.
This is where you wind me up.
You don't have to take a break. I'm just telling you 30 minutes.
You don't take a break right now.
Let him go.
Yes.
The point
I wanted to make about the unbookables,
whatever it is,
you've
tortured me forever for
not promoting this.
Just a tweet is all I asked.
If you would have done that, I would have shut up.
Okay.
Do you know how many people will see a tweet? I don asked. If you would have done that, I would have shut up. Okay. Do you know
how many people will see a tweet?
I don't care. It's just
what's a trophy?
A trophy is stupid. It's just this little
thing. Wait, wait, wait. James, James, stay with me.
Do you know how many people
listen to this podcast?
No. I believe
this is at minimum
your seventh time on this podcast promoting the unbookables.
I'm not here to promote it, Doug.
I would talk about this regardless of these fucking microphones over here.
I would say the same exact shit.
All right?
The point being, I have you on and you always
promote your movie.
And that's tens of thousands.
It's not my movie. You're the producer
of this movie too. The point being,
I have you on the podcast
as a guest and then you promote what
you have upcoming, which is always
the same thing, the Unbookables.
Oh, don't start it.
No, that's not true.'s tens of thousands and millions of
downloads the one podcast in las vegas where i said okay i'm gonna bring this up because
it's one of those subjects that nobody talks about you know when you have this family
and grandpa is fucking um you know the daughter nobody wants to talk about it so that's that's
why i brought it up just because you're a racist.
Was that supposed to be a relatable
analogy? I'm joking. It's a joke.
Listen, to be fair,
to be fair, James,
Charles Manson had a better chance of being released
than your movie did.
This is kind of funny.
I like the unbookables.
Alright, so I brought
up the unbookables on the Las Vegas podcast.
I have to make two quick points.
I'll try to make them quickly.
All right.
First of all, I've had you on this podcast.
This is your seventh appearance at least where we always talk about the unbookables.
At least give it a plug.
And this is shitloads of listeners.
If I tweeted right now, maybe 300 people would see that tweet and they disregard it.
Second point is, yes, I did tweet about your movie
after discussing it behind your back on a podcast where I go,
hey, maybe when you did the re-release, I said,
maybe I'm just too close to the project.
I want everyone to go on Amazon and watch this movie
and give me your honest
opinion right which that again goes out to fucking uh tens and dozens of thousands of that right and
so it went so i did tweet right so it went from that level of bullshit distributor on amazon prime
to another cooler level of comedy dynamics.
Comedy dynamics started because
they bought all of Bill Hicks'
material. All his CDs,
all his DVDs. They got
your stuff on there, and they got
Kennison's stuff. And then the company
exploded. The people that run comedy
dynamics like edgy comedy.
They like Hicks. They like you. They like
Kennison. And they like this film.
And I was proud of it. That's why when it
happened, I was like, oh my god!
I called you up. I was like, Doug!
We just signed a contract with Comedy Dynamics!
My movie is like a fucking real comedy
movie now!
We have a
peanut gallery, we'll say.
Have you heard of
Comedy Dynamics Show of Hands? Not one. have you heard of comedy dynamics show of hands not one have you heard of
amazon every single person you went from amazon to comedy dynamics you should go to uproar records
next what's that one that you oh you want to hear the story about the cassette yeah you want to hear
the stand-up record story? You want to hear that?
I can't be on stand-up records.
Yeah, you don't want to hear that.
No, I don't because we'd go down the same road and it's off topic
and a million comics would join in.
I just randomly pulled up reviews from the Unbookables from IMDb
and this one says,
If you know these guys, this is exactly what you want or expect.
However, if you aren't familiar with any of the cast or Doug Stanhope's podcast,
do some homework first.
Without being formally introduced to these characters,
this might leave you baffled.
It's true.
But the main thing I got from it was that he got it from your podcast.
Yeah.
Oh, that's weird.
That is weird. whatever i mean you know okay all right you want to talk about this speaking of winding me up all right so first of
all you invited me on your podcast back when your podcast sucked it had like two people listening to
it all right and i all of a sudden had the number one podcast. I do it again. I have the fucking number one and number two podcast.
Isn't that right, Shaley?
Shaley tweeted that.
Not at all.
Shaley, you're fucking.
Oh, you're lying now.
You told me and you tweeted it.
I'll tell you right now.
I can find the tweet right now where you tweeted James Inman has the number one and number two most downloaded Doug Stanhope podcast.
Hey, maybe number two.
You tweeted that.
Now, number one is easy to swallow for you, but I don't think you're number two.
Let him answer.
Let him answer.
Obviously, I'm pulling my weight here.
Let him answer because we went through the numbers last night.
You, at the time, had a very popular podcast.
But when I went back and actually looked at all the way back before we were with
Audioboom, that we were on a different
server, and then
Remember, this is back when the podcast
sucked.
Fat Mike came on.
That's the all-time
biggest. You're not even close to that.
Alright.
I'm just saying, Fat Mike from
NoFX beat fucking Whiskey Girl Cliffhanger?
They're all up in that top five thing.
Okay.
When you were on it, to be fair, I was probably fudging a little bit, but at the same time,
you were a very popular podcast.
We had a lot of people that really talked about it.
And a lot of people tweet.
Right.
They still do.
All right. So I pulled my weight. Some don't. Okay. And those were the podcasts where I didn of people tweet. They still do. All right, so I pulled my weight.
Some don't.
And those were the podcasts
where I didn't even mention
The Unbookables.
All right, I just wanted to clarify
the point that I've had you on
more than any other guest
to promote this same movie.
No, no, no.
You've had me on this podcast
more than any other guest
because my podcasts are funny.
You know why because the
other people kiss your ass i'm the only guy that will argue with you but the point is agree with
you when you're a guest on the podcast you promote whatever you want which is the one
only single top of my mind point being you always we always talk about the unbookable so because
it's if i go on howard on Howard Stern and we get into a
fucking fight every time
and everyone loves me, which
they don't, but then at the end they go
hey, check out Doug Stanhope's unbookables
because I only have one project.
Okay, I've covered that.
Let's get down to
because we're still in your
rant here.
You hate every single person
and the fat whore.
We did delete her name
because that's just...
She was mean to me.
Okay.
Well, everyone's mean to you
at some point when you're mean back.
She's the one that was behind
the whole swastika on my forehead.
It wasn't even a swastika.
We have pictures of it.
It was something they drew.
They wrote words on your forehead.
When you were passed out, I swear, I just saw the picture.
Hang on.
Let me get to this part.
And if that lady you called a fat whore was here, I would have definitely let her respond.
Oh, I would have moved.
You just laughed at me, made me
look like a dick. I fucking hated you.
That's why I never went back
to any of your parties.
That's
like a trout in a barrel.
Then I had a ride back with
your fucking idiot friend, Becker,
and his stupid wife, who
also made me feel like a
dick.
You mean, yeah, because do you remember Becker and his stupid wife who also made me feel like a dick. What?
He's sitting right next to you.
Yeah, because do you remember?
Do you remember how we met?
Do you remember?
No, I'm going to go back because I want to remember the thing.
So this is the Bisbee trip.
But when we met was when you came to Cooch, you ruined the shows,
and then you –
Oh, now we're going to go through that again.
And you lost our band car.
We found it three days later in Hooters parking lot with the keys in it. Okay, that's true. And you give me shit for bringing up damn bookables. No, that listen, I'm not. And you lost our band car. We found it three days later in Hooters parking lot with the keys in it.
Okay, that's true.
And you give me shit for bringing up damn bookables.
No, that's true.
You constantly bring this up.
That's true, right?
Yeah, well, you lost the band car.
Yes.
Anyway, so the point is, you also, Sunday night, I was home with my wife.
We were sitting there nice and comfortable at home because the week was over.
And I got a phone call of a crying inman going, I missed my flight.
I don't know how to leave. I don't
know what to do. I had to go to the airport
in a cab because I was drunk and go
get you on a plane like a fucking nine-year-old.
Yeah.
Later, when you're in Bisbee,
you need a ride to the airport.
We happen to be leaving.
So what was the big problem?
Oh, that's right. You had to put the car in long-term parking
because our flight left at 11.
You left at 4 in the afternoon.
I didn't have a car.
What are you talking about?
We took Doug's car.
We left it in long-term parking.
And you told my wife, I don't know how to do that.
She goes, well, you're going to fucking learn because you're a loser.
Why would your wife call me a loser?
Because you were complaining that you somehow had four hours to kill at the airport and we should maybe miss our flight so
you didn't have to park the car i don't remember that i know you know that's a good part of the
trip look all i know is somebody drew a swastika on my forehead i snapped all right and said i'm
gonna find this motherfucker and when i find him you're gonna get it you lost your hat too do you
remember that all right yeah and I mailed it back
alright cause I know how important it was
to him so after I
snapped after they drew the swastika
on my forehead
you know I needed a ride back to the
airport and so
either you hate me or your wife
hates me but it's like
put you in the car
no that's not true. I was awake.
We woke up. I knew I needed to go
back to the airport. And Doug said,
Inman, keep your mouth shut
on the way back to the airport,
because they don't want any of your bullshit.
You know? And I'm like, whatever.
Somebody drew a swastika on my forehead.
All you people hate me. I don't know why.
The movie had just come out. The Unbookables
just come out. That
woman, I won't mention her name,
and all of her friends,
every word out of their mouth was
snarky, hate-filled
bullshit when I was trying to be nice
to her and everyone.
Let me get back to that and remind me
to get back to that when we get to...
So I don't know what happened,
but that last party when I
showed up everyone hated me because
why this will be a callback
there were people that were fucking
with you that didn't
have rank
and we'll get back to that
towards the end when we get to Mishka
Shibali
yeah he
he fucked with you like those guys fucked with you but when you pass out
first at a party people write shit on your forehead and sometimes they're sophomores and
you're a senior i'm sorry what i wrote about you all right becker that's can i apologize
well but i was just like i was a hard trip to take when I was quiet in the back of the car,
and I felt like both of you hated me.
Well, we didn't hate you.
Wait, we just needed your help to park the car.
But you said, your fucking idiot friend, Becker, I'm underlining, and his stupid wife.
You met her once, maybe.
Because people told me she didn't like me
a free drive to the airport
where you didn't have any other way out of here
a free drive to the airport
then I had to pay for your ticket
you're gonna go down there now
you invited me here
you invited me to the first panamint
you paid for my ticket
yeah because you invited me
one way because you said you were gonna... Yeah, you're trying
to wind me up again. That's not gonna work.
Move on to something else.
Anyway, Becky accepts your apology, too.
That's her name.
I'm not good with names!
I'm not good with names, alright?
I've got fucking Asperger's
and some shit. You ever had
In-N-Out?
Alright, well...
I don't know if we should bring this.
But you have to admit, it was kind of a quiet ride back.
Yeah, because we were hungover and you were drunk.
This was after we had an altercation.
You guys were on mushrooms all night long.
You guys were fucking out of your mind.
And you were wandering my neighborhood screaming,
where's Doug Stanhope's house at 4.30 in the morning in the morning all fucked up no one of us threw you against a wall and i'm not a
violent i don't remember that no i do remember that i was i've never seen doug that mad yeah
well i honestly have never seen doug that well i got mad after somebody drew a swastika on my
forehead it wasn't a swastika whatever someone can find that whatever it was done out of malice it wasn't a real funny prank
like aha funny prank we're all friends
she I won't mention her name
and her friends
they did not like me they did it out of real malice
there's a difference
I uh
have you considered that maybe you're unlikable
that'd be a great name for a movie
the unlikable
maybe a sequel
they didn't start hating my guts
until that movie came out
I never had so many enemies in my life
until that movie came out
I was
gonna blow through this
but this is where you have to explain
by now we're back
from vacation
and you write an email you have to explain. This is, by now, we're back from vacation.
And you write an email saying,
subject, prank gone wrong.
I don't know how you really feel about me.
I know Brian's never liked me,
but I wonder if I went over the line.
Did this prank get out of hand?
I've never been good at pranks.
That's why I rarely do them. That said,
Mishka really pissed me off
and I think it was high time
someone called him out.
Now this goes
into what I don't know
that I said, just tell me on the podcast.
While you're
doing these fucking Facebook
fucking pranks,
evidently you got into it with Mishka
specifically. You want to hear that story?
Yeah, that's the one I don't know anything about.
Well, he called Mishka an idiot cunt in the rant.
So I'm sure Mishka wanted
to hear about it.
I'll agree with you ahead of time.
Yeah, you know.
You're a dick.
No.
What happened with Mishka while we're on the train?
So I'm on Facebook.
I get an argument about Roseanne Barr with one of Mishka's friends.
And blah, blah, blah.
It's a debate.
Two people take sides.
And the debate winds down with these guys basically calling me a racist
and me giving all my points on why I think it's not funny to make fun of Roseanne.
And so they basically called me a racist merely because I was supporting
and defending Roseanne Barr as a comedian.
And so this had nothing at all to do with Mishka.
Out of nowhere, Mishka sends me a private message. Inman, you're embarrassing yourself.
I'm like, what? Because of this discussion about Roseanne Barr? You're like, yeah. I go, well,
that's kind of what I do, Mishka. I embarrass myself. I'm a comedian, I'm a fool, I'm a jester and a clown
this is one of the
tools that we use
you on the other hand are the musician
and the writer and the poet
and maybe you don't get
what I do but I sure as don't
I don't get what you do either
so
I wasn't mean to him
that's basically all I said was yeah, I'm embarrassing myself, that's what I do either so um i wasn't mean to him that's basically all i said was yeah i'm embarrassing
myself that's what i do i'm a comedian and he's like well you know um am i unfriend and i thought
he was talking about his friend i go i'm not i'm not unfriended your friend he can unfriend me
and mishka goes no i mean i'm gonna unfriend going to unfriend you. And I go, not going to miss you.
Sorry.
Dude, if you're that pissed about a stupid argument about Facebook when I had said nothing whatsoever to you,
and you're going to unfriend me because of my points, then okay, there's the door.
Get the fuck out.
I just love that I can make fun of my 50-year-old friends
for fighting and unfriending each other on Facebook.
So that's what you were referring to.
That's what you were referring to about Mishka being an idiot cunt
and he needs to be taken down.
Mishka...
But I'm saying just that exchange.
No, I did not say...
Well, whatever.
I mean, you do you what are you
trying to trap me in well no i know i i don't have this i have a notes oh wait this is the next email
i just highlighted one line then i thought it oh okay all right i'm getting ahead of myself
but when you said he was an idiot cunt right Right. I say that about a lot of people.
Did you?
I said, I have a note from last night.
Ask about the Mishka Facebook.
Did you write a rant about Mishka?
No, I wrote.
This is how.
I'm asking.
I'm asking.
This is a good example about me around all your friends.
I am nice to all of them until they keep fucking with me and it gets to the point
where I'm like what and then I'm like
alright fuck it I'm tired of this shit
you know I feel like
I'm always nice until
I mean I'm pretty fair if someone goes over
the line
I'm like no dude that's over the line
you know you're not really pranking me
for fun you're doing it as a
real dick so I guess maybe the line you know you're not really pranking me for fun you're doing it as a real dick so i
guess maybe the line gets blurred when you're a comedian and stuff or maybe mishka doesn't know
what he's doing and uh maybe he's he's got some social justice warrior disease so he unfriended me
look look that's pretty funny look gnome chomsky Noam Chomsky defended a Holocaust denier, and it was called the Something Affair.
You can look it up.
And the deal is, Noam Chomsky is not a Holocaust denier.
He was defending this man's right to free speech.
this man's right to free speech if you if you love free speech then you're gonna have to defend repugnant free speech that you don't agree with blah blah blah because one day they're gonna come
for you they're gonna you're gonna say something and next thing you know your career is gone and
you're going to jail can i because we have to go to break. And they could have come for you based on that not racist,
misogynist joke
that Ben Scott put up
that started this whole carnival.
That didn't start the whole thing.
The whole thing started with Mishka.
Okay, well, it starts with Mishka.
He calls you a racist,
and then at the same time,
and then at the same time me yeah and then at the same time
yeah let's simplify the whole thing i'm gonna simplify it okay how many when when you saw that
youtube video that could have put you in the same dire straits career wise as rosanne bar
or a thousand others how many views did it have?
Not including you.
You're trying to wind me up and this is a horrible, stupid fucking argument.
Okay.
We got to go to a break.
Hey, to be fair, 10 of those views were him.
That's what I was trying to say, but I fucked it up.
All right, James, take a piss.
We have to do a break and sell a lot of commercials because you are the number one
no stop it all right ladies and gentlemen cocktails all right kenny's uh spent all
morning trying to convince us to bet him whatever that he could eat What was the coupon from the filthiest garbage fast food dump ever?
Yeah, it's three small fries, three cheeseburgers, and three waffles,
and an extra large soda in under 30 minutes.
And I think I can just win this bet easy.
Chaley, will you just take a second and bleep out the names of those type?
Just say it without the name because I don't want to sound like I'm giving them a commercial.
Oh, never mind.
Yeah.
Three large burgers, three medium or small burgers, and three small fries.
And it's the worst fast food.
You can probably guess.
I've talked about it before.
I hate them.
So it is the most repulsive fast food.
Well, if you eat all this
shit, what are they going to give you?
Whatever they're betting. It's a
combined effort. We're trying to get a pot going. This is
a good segue into mybookie.ag.
Can you bet on whether Kenny
can swallow all of this swill
in 30 minutes without
vomiting and live?
No, you can't bet that.
But we could bet everything.
Pretty much everything else you can bet at mybookie.ag,
including football every week against Kenny and I,
where we have our picks of the week.
Kenny, you're 1-2 now after week three.
Yes, I am.
2-1 by a point and a half. I don't know. I'd one, I took by a point and a half.
I don't know.
I'd be perfect.
I'm a point and a half away from perfect.
I won the bet.
The team won that I picked, but the point spread did not cover,
so I took the L, Chicago and Arizona.
And our pal there in the lockup for the criminally insane somewhere
in East Coast State,
that was his first official time playing, and he lost.
Where did he play last week?
Yeah, that's his first time.
What was his pick this week?
Oh, this week's pick, he took Tampa.
Oh, so okay.
No, he took the Raiders.
No, he took the Raiders.
Yeah, he's 0 for 2.
He picked the Raiders.
And I took, like I said, Chicago, which won, but the point spread did not cover.
All right, let's quickly crank out our picks of the week.
This week, I am going, I wanted to go with Dallas at home,
but I think Patriots starting 1-2 against an undefeated Dolphins team
just doesn't make sense.
So I'm taking the Patriots minus 7 points at home against the Dolphins.
I think they're at home.
Yeah, and I'm going to go ahead and take Cleveland Browns over the Oakland Raiders.
Here comes the dog pound.
I like the way Mayfield's playing in the last three quarters of football,
and he's looking good for next week.
And let's go to, well, he keeps changing his name on us there to remain
anonymous in this i think people probably think we're joking about this guy but uh yeah no no no
not a joke a little bit of murder here and there just a little bit it was he someone was calling
his name and telling him to do things. Don't mention who.
Go ahead.
What's your cell block lock of the week?
Next message.
Frank Costello here.
Calling from the Marsh.
That's our institution.
The criminally insane block lock of the week.
Green Bay minus 10.
Over the Buffalo Bill.
We have a rat in our organization.
His name is
Lorne Michaels. Heavy lies
the crown.
Oh, he said the name.
Anyway, thank you.
My bookie. Get over to
my bookie right now. We play every
week. You don't have everything.
You have in-game live
betting, over-unders on fantasy
points scored,
and the most rewarding player perks in the business.
That's why I'm urging you to make your way to MyBookie.com.
You win, they pay.
But you got to win to make them pay.
Join now and MyBookie will match your deposit dollar for dollar.
Use promo code Stanhope to activate the offer.
Visit MyBookie today.
That's M-Y-B-O-O-K-I-E.
And don't forget to use the promo code Stanhope when creating your account to claim up to $1,000 in free play.
Oh, and listen to this.
MyBookie's slammed with new bettors, and they want to give everyone the best service possible. So if you're willing to wait till after 7 p.m. to deposit, they'll give you an
extra $25 in free play on deposits over $100. So if you can wait till after 7, and my fans don't
get out of bed before 7, if you're willing to hold out till after 7, you'll get the extra $25
free play by using promo code Stanhope and add 25 to the end of it.
Stanhope 25.
That's Stanhope 25.
It's up to you guys, but I'd wait
until after dinner and take the extra
money. MyBookie.ag
You play, you win, you get
paid. Get paid.
Alright, Greg Chaley,
what deliciousness in a box did you get hurled at your front
porch this week?
Pasta and creamy tomato sauce, Doug.
Oh, wait, that's the stuff you made at the party.
Yep.
And it was gone within minutes.
Oh, wait, there were a bunch of people here.
There's no fucking open restaurants late at night, and no one delivers to Bisbee except
Blue Apron and Chaley.
Yeah. James Edmund ate the whole thing. didn't know it's just sitting there i didn't know everyone was hungry
and that was a that was a real quick one because it had like four ingredients it's all on the the
8x11 card it's the drunk we talked about this where it's the best thing like because you can
make a gourmet meal shit face. Edmund could have cooked it.
25 minutes go by and I come up with pasta and creamy tomato sauce.
And they're like, what the fuck?
That's it.
Easy.
Simple, easy, brought directly to your door as often as you want it.
The pictures come in handy.
You just cover one eye if you've been drinking too much.
I thought I was missing a tomato.
I was ready to call Blue Apron for missing ingredients.
And the pictures are scratch and sniff, so if you're blind, you can cook by smell.
Hey, and some of these recipes dinner in as little as 20 minutes.
They've actually knocked it down.
Take 20 minutes.
You could take 35.
You get a rhythm down.
You start to get brushing up on your skills.
It's all right there.
It's all on the sheet.
I'm reading.
They're partnering up with Bob's Burgers.
Yeah, Chef Design Recipes.
And in September, they've got partnerships with, like you said, Bob's Burgers,
but also with Whole30 Approved Recipes.
I don't know.
I just know I aged John Benjamin, and I went to the same school.
I've never seen the show, but I'll eat the burger.
I'll tell you what.
and I went to the same school.
I've never seen the show, but I'll eat the burger.
I'll tell you what, since we're going to be gone next week,
I am ordering meat recipes for the Beckers.
All right.
And you can do that.
It's so simple.
You just go online.
You can make changes. You can stop your orders and then start them again when you get home.
Got it.
So check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free
at blueapron.com slash stanhope.
That's blueapron.com slash stanhope to get your first three meals free.
Blue Apron, a better way to cook.
Please leave a message after the tone.
Look, you pulled me into this prank.
Somebody pulled me into this fucking prank.
Fuck you, you fucking cunt.
This is James Inman, all right?
Now, all I know is Chad Shank is getting $1,000 reading my pranks. If he doesn't
read my pranks, then it's
a grift. Alright, you guys
are ripping people off.
So, I either, I need
a call from Doug Stanhope
or Brian Hannigan or something
or Hugh or something.
Doug blocked
me on Twitter. I wonder why that
is.
Yeah, what's up with that?
Because he can't fucking deal
with someone that makes fun of him.
He can make fun of other people,
but he can't make...
Oh, my God.
Oh, God forbid anybody makes fun of Doug Stanhope.
Oh, nobody makes fun of Doug Stanhope. Nobody makes fun of Doug Stanhope.
Nobody makes fun.
Everybody makes fun
of James Inman.
Everybody makes fun
of James Inman.
But then when it's
turned around,
it's not funny,
is it?
It's not funny at all.
Oh, my God.
Oh, you fucking
cunt motherfuckers.
Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. cunt motherfuckers. Fuck you.
Seriously, fuck you.
You can call me back, Shaley.
You have my number.
I'll leave my fucking phone on.
I haven't got one goddamn email.
Even when I ask, I'm like, please, can you reply to me?
You know, I don't know what the fuck's going on.
I will keep writing
rants about all the fucking
unbookables. You fuck.
Okay.
Rebuttal James.
Here is the rebuttal. Alright, so
Mishka
unfriends me, and I basically
go, okay, fuck you, Mishka.
You unfriended me, and you're annoyed because you don't like me and I'm blah,
blah,
blah.
I'll unfriend everybody.
All right.
You want to do,
I,
I personally have been dealing with this Doug Stano virus for since 1995,
1995.
I met you and you made fun of me,
and it was a fun little dichotomy, dynamic thing
where I laugh at myself, you make fun of me.
It's like Laurel and Hardy, all right?
And then we become friends, and other people see what we do,
and they go, oh, Doug makes fun of James.
Let's do that, too too because everybody's doing it
it's the new thing and so now not only do i have to deal with you making fun of me which is okay
because i love you or shaley or you know brian kind of you know um i have to deal with all of
your fans and friends mocking me and making fun of me because that's what you do. So I'm getting it from every side, everywhere.
People I don't even know.
Oh, hang on.
Go ahead, Chad.
Well, since I got drug into this one now all of a sudden,
because I've been keeping my mouth shut until my name comes up.
Then let me read this because your name comes up.
Oh, okay.
Well, I want to do that.
All right.
First of all, you said in the last email that Jeff, your best friend,
you hate every one of my friends and me, but Jeff, your best friend,
you talk about the unbookables.
And ever since the unbookables came out, everyone started hating me.
For the nine millionth time, it wasn't my fault.
I was in every scene of that film
i'm just as pissed at jeff as i am you so even your best friend goes under the wheels
everyone goes under the wheels fuck i mean what are you talking about and then late and you close
this so do whatever you want to do the first one one I wrote drunk, the first whatever rant.
The first rant I wrote drunk.
But there was a method to my madness.
The other three I may have put some thought into.
The Chad ballsack licking thing is going to be funny.
Trust me.
He's getting over $1,000 for fuck's sake.
So he has to read it.
I wrote that after I found out about the prank.
I like Chad, but if he doesn't read it, he's a giant pussy.
Signed, your most loyal fan.
So once again, this is where your head is so fucked up.
I have a fucked up head, James.
But back to what I was going to say before.
You say that your dynamic with Doug was where he fucked with you,
and then you go ahead and mis-fucking-align yourself
and associate everything that everybody else does with Doug.
Have you ever just considered that you're the type of guy who's easy to fuck with,
so you have that dynamic with everybody?
That's not yours and his dynamic alone and we're all copying it.
You're an easy guy to fuck with.
So that being said, once again,
your head doesn't fucking compute things correctly.
I got paid $1,000 because people,
$1,175 as of total,
to read this rant that you wrote.
No other rants existed. Shut up. No, that's not true.
No other rants existed.
Shut up.
You had your turn to talk.
No other rants existed at the time that this happened.
On July 24th, 2018, James Inman released his second novel, is what it says.
I'm reading the top of the fucking GoFundMe.
That was the one that I was hired to read.
All subsequent rants
are from your delusional mind
who thinks that you can somehow
control the situation
and make up new rants
that I then have to read.
What a douchebag.
Oh, no.
Okay.
All right.
Hang on.
Wait, wait.
Please hold.
Tracy, could you come around
and read that like it's the end of a Lipitor commercial?
Come around, just use this mic.
Yeah, I know the guy who wrote that.
Okay.
That's a good argument, James, you dipshit.
Let her talk clean.
On July 24th, 2018, James Inman released his second novel,
A Shining Beacon of Selflessness.
He released it for free on his website. Ever the soft
spoken and humble gentleman, James closes
Facebook and Twitter accounts to live a life
full of solitude in the mountains of Tibet
where he will learn the ancient art of raiding dumpsters
for Ambien. This is truly a masterpiece
of our age. For some kindness in your
heart so that we can have this epic tale of
sorrow, betrayal, and someone named Jeff,
we'd like to invite Master Storyteller and
Auditeur, Chad Shank.
Alright. God bless.
It's not written well, but it proves the point.
Boss, he's talking
about one specific
Facebook rant in that GoFundMe.
It doesn't say you have to read
everything that you ever
wrote.
I know the guy
who started this GoFundMe can talk i can tweet him right
now i can i'm facebooking right now and uh the i i you don't have his private cell and and first of
all we're talking about what eleven hundred dollars, that's like, if you were to read all four rants,
that would take you less than 20 minutes.
That's not the point.
So you're getting paid.
Once again, false logic.
How is that the point?
No, that's not false logic.
That is you getting $1,000 fucking dollars.
You're upset because I'm making $1,000 off your words
when you can't make half that off your words.
That's not my problem.
All right, so what is your problem?
I don't have a problem.
I've already fulfilled my fucking obligation on this podcast.
I know your boss.
You wrote...
I know your boss.
Let's call him right now.
At the CIA?
Let's stop...
Which boss are you talking about?
The point is...
The boss at the top?
Okay, I'm going to end this right now.
I'm going to end this right now.
No, no, because...
He put that GoFundMe up based on one Facebook rant.
That's not true because I can find that guy and talk to him,
and we can talk to him on the phone.
That'll be a subsequent podcast because I have shit to get to.
All right, all right.
Hold on.
Wait a minute.
How can that even help anything when you just read it on July 24?
You had written one rant.
You wrote the next retarded rant
after this already
happened. Order in the court!
In response to this! You wrote that in response
to this! You can't handle the truth.
Please approach the bench
because I have the dated
July 24th
right there.
This is when you put it out.
July 24th. What's the date on the next rant
okay so
I see where this is going
this is
I know exactly where this is going
when
this happened
and you were going to read my rants
and I said oh he's got to read my rants
so I'm going to write this it's going to be really funny because it's going to come out of his mouth and it were going to read my rants. And I said, oh, he's got to read my rants. I'm going to write this.
It's going to be really funny because it's going to come out of his mouth, and it's going to be funny.
Once again, because you're stupid.
I had to read a rant, not your rants.
And so I was like, well, they're paying him $1,000.
You know what would be really funny?
If I wrote something really hilarious and that he would have to read.
And basically, and then the guy said
after seeing and then yeah then i was like go fund me completely overlooking the fact that i didn't
have to read the rest of your stupid rants basically you were motion to dismiss right
so i know what your problem is right see you're you're a comedy locust. Every 11 years, you put something new out, and we thought that was it.
No.
My point has always been, and this is the giant general point, and the point that I
always even told Doug, don't stop me.
Don't even stop me before I say what?
Right.
Before I say something true.
Before you say this has always been your point of view, you've already said that this is
a character.
All right.
been your point of view you've already said that this is a character all right when you so is it always your point of view that you hate me and chad and becker and his wife and chaley no you're
not even close my point of view has been everyone else can make fun of james but when james turns
it around and and flips it on the head and good that i can never make fun of anybody how did you do that
i tweeted that that was a couple of my jokes i was like oh it's cool for you to make fun of me
but when i make fun of you you can't take it this is why it's funny people make fun of me
i laugh at myself you love that you know why because you can't do it yourself. I don't make fun of myself on this podcast. Are you
fucking shitting me? Are you
trying to play that card with me? Have you
listened to this podcast at all?
So then read the third rant.
How hard can it be?
Well, you didn't bring copies.
You said you had all the copies.
Well, I have copies.
The ones we were contracted to read.
I know your boss.
I'm friends with your boss. I can
call the Old Testament and tell
him to tell you what to do.
Let me...
Your Honor, let me
rephrase.
When we make
fun of you, everyone laughs.
But when you make fun
of us, I fly you first class down here and talk about it.
You ever been in first class before?
No, I haven't.
That was another thing that was funny.
Were you freaked out by the towel?
It was funny.
Did you think they were air room?
I knew it was just another way for Doug to fuck with me.
But it was a good point. was just another way for Doug to fuck with me. But that, my, it
was a good point. The point was,
oh my God, Chad Shank
is making $1,100
to read my rant. And so I
started talking to this guy.
We're past that. We already
proved our point. Whoever this guy
is, he's responsible
for me writing the fourth
rant about this guy. Which you thought he
had to read, which you're wrong. I thought, yeah,
because we're talking a thousand fucking bucks.
That's like a month's worth of
work for most people. Most
of the people listening to this podcast
don't have a pot to piss in.
They're living paycheck by paycheck.
Everyone in this town is on disability
to make a thousand bucks a month
for doing nothing. Would they read like 20 minutes of dialogue for $1,000?
Anybody, any of your friends, they would say, yes, you're lazy.
I just did it for three minutes.
No, no.
I did what was contracted.
No, you did not.
I did not prove it.
We just proved you were wrong, dumbass.
Come with some facts.
I know your boss.
Explain what that means. Give me a cell phone. Explain what dumbass. Come with some facts. I know your boss. Explain what that means.
Give me your cell phone.
Explain what that means.
Explain what what means.
I know your boss.
You've said it four times.
Give me your cell phone.
I'll call it.
There's mine.
Bitch.
I have to log into Facebook.
It's one of the.
He's the guy I met on Facebook.
It's one of the fucking.
Oh, you're a fucking moron.
The guy that helped you make $1,000 is friends with me.
Look, give me the goddamn thing.
I'll read it.
How hard can it be?
James, I'm trying to turn gears to where you're at.
I thought it was funny, and I called him out.
I said, you can make fun of me, but I can't make fun of you.
James, you can.
It's just not funny.
That's the whole point.
James.
You can't get mad at people because nobody laughs when you make fun of other
people only because they laughed at you. Oh my God, you're taking it seriously.
Don't go Norm Wilkerson and take this seriously.
And this is kind of the point is where the worm
turns for you. The worm turns for me where, yeah, people
start coming on my side. Yeah.
That's what I'm trying to do. And you keep trying to
argue stupid shit with Chad.
You're making Chad angry.
So I thought it was funny, but he doesn't.
You're just
horrifically wrong over and over
with the same point.
Okay, don't, don't, don't.
Don't, don't. Go to the next point. What's your next point?
Well, we're still going with the emails as you continue this feud.
All right.
And this is where I mount up on the James Inman wagon.
And we all did up until you just kept making everyone infuriated by ignoring logic.
No, I'll switch back right now.
He's got it.
He's a diplomat.
We
mentioned you in a podcast.
Podcast episode 272.
And you sent me subject
podcast number 272
corrections.
Thanks for grading my paper.
Right.
My Twitter account got suspended, and I don't know why it happened.
This is what they sent me after I tried to appeal four times.
Quotes from Twitter.
We have determined that your account posted content that was threatening and or promoting violence in violation of Twitter terms of service.
Accordingly, your account has been suspended and will not be restored, meaning a lifetime
ban from Twitter.
And then you continue on in the email.
At first, I thought it was the termites who got together and flagged my tweets, but I
talked to some of them.
They said, no way.
They probably would ask you first
don't you think then i thought it might have been mishka who reported me for bullying because i
posted a link to that last rant about him on my website this is where i'd like you to you're kind
of admitting that you posted something on your website that you linked to twitter all of
them started but can you remember anything that might have i mean all of your fucking what
diatribes could be misconstrued as inciting violence no i mean i've got all the fuck you
in the ass till you're dead i've got all four so did you Fuck you in the ass until you're dead. I've got all four rants. So did you get reported for the one that I read, the first one?
No.
No, this one's specifically about Mishka.
That was on my website.
All my rants ended up on my website.
What did you get reported for?
God, if I know.
He put something about Mishka on his website.
What was the last rant?
You got the beat?
Hang on, hang on.
Which one are you referring to?
The one where I stuffed walnuts up my ass and fucked monkeys?
No, that's not the last rant.
That was the second one.
That's the third one.
Oh, okay.
Okay, well, the one about...
I got bored with it and quit reading after the second one.
You're getting $1,000.
Shut the fuck up.
No, I got it, and I already performed the job.
It's spent.
By the way, it's $1,175.
There's $175 you're neglecting. Don't lowball it.
You're getting around $1,200.
Right.
All right.
If you have $25, you will.
I just want to throw in quickly.
After we had stopped on about day six of the train, we had a couple days off in Portland.
And that's when I heard about all this shit.
We had a couple days off in Portland, and that's when I heard about all this shit. And Inman has already posted that rant that you read for $1,175.
And I read that, and he left me a version of it.
He emailed and voicemailed.
So I called, and I go, I had his old cell phone number.
So I left the message on the wrong cell phone
number but i called as though i knew nothing hey i've been on a i'm on a 10-day train trip so i'm
staying away from my phone but i saw that you called my caller id said that you called so uh
just hoping everything's okay i miss you buddy so he'd go i left all that shit and he never heard it these things were friends and i
told him we're not friends but i left it on the wrong phone number i got his his uh his website
up here uh where where where did you put it is it in i do it because it was oh he took it down
that i only put up for a day or two, and people found it, and they copied it, and other people have it, and I have it.
So it could have been that about Mishka, but you're right.
It could be him.
Brenda totally thinks it was Mishka.
Whoever did it really fucked me, because I had over 3,000 followers.
And when I tried to create a new Twitter account, you couldn't start a new Twitter account, blah, blah, blah.
Then you go on to...
The only other reason I think it's down
is because I posted Clash lyrics.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
You thought this was your theory.
Okay, the last thing I tweeted was...
I'm going to read it.
Okay.
You thought your Twitter, Brenda, your gal pal... She says it's Mishka....sw going to read it. Okay. You thought your Twitter Brenda, your gal pal
She says it's Mishka.
But you go, no, I think it's because
I posted these Clash lyrics
which read,
Every gimmick hungry yob
digging gold from rock
and roll grabs the mic and tells
us he'll die before he's sold.
But I believe in this and
it's been tested by research he who
fucks nuns will later join the church credit to the clash you see that that last line it says
fucks none fucks nuns could that be it what the fuck i honestly think someone reported me for Clash lyrics.
Yeah, I was trying to figure out when you problem solve,
you look at the last tweet.
That was the last tweet.
It could be that.
And I suspected either the termites or somebody that loves you that didn't get the joke or Mishka.
That's what I thought it was. But I didn't want to admit that it could joke or Mishka. You know? That's what I thought it was.
But I didn't want to admit that it could be a Mishka.
I like that you went to Stanhope for advice,
what he thinks it could be,
when he's the most illiterate Twitter person.
What?
What do you think it could be?
Stanhope doesn't know what gets people banned.
No, he's on a train.
I mean, in general.
Stanhope doesn't even pay attention to any of the technology.
He doesn't follow up with it.
He knows social things.
Like, you know, he knows what's going on.
Saying hello, goodbye.
On the street.
He's like a huggy bear.
You know, when Starsky and Hutch tried to solve a crime, they go to huggy bear.
You know why?
Because he knew what the fuck was going on on the street.
You thought Stanhope had the inside intel on what people got banned for on Twitter? Yes, to be fair.
Stanhope barely knows how to tweet.
To be fair, how long have you not had cable?
It's fucked up
that
someone would get you banned from
Twitter
if they don't know you, if they don't know that you're just full of vitriol and hyperbole.
But now I've told you the truth, because I get this from Mishka.
I call him Mishka.
Hey, I hate to ask, but Johnny favors.
All right.
This is because you've sent me that email.
I don't know because you thought it was Clash lyrics.
He said, Hello, boys.
I'll be rolling into town on the 22nd for a show at the quarry in Bisbee.
Wanted to see if you're in town and if it's cool for me to dump Kyle and Hack at the funhouse to stay with you all that night.
I'll be cuddling with Joby as per usual.
Let me know if you're around.
And then because we had mentioned you, your ban on Twitter, as an aside, he said, was catching up on the podcast today, says Mishka.
I was the one who got Inman kicked off Twitter.
Mishka Shibali and his sig file, whatever you call that, six best-selling Kindle singles on Amazon.
Well, you think that would afford you
a place to put up your openers
rather than say,
can I dump them at your fucking house?
So I wrote back.
I was livid.
A lot of people were here.
I don't know.
The internet was down, actually.
Oh, it was.
That saved you.
That's the day the internet went down.
Right.
And this is where...
That's the night.
Yeah, I mean, this is... The meek ain't gonna inherit shit. The night the lights went down. Right. And this is where, yeah, I mean, this is-
The meek ain't going to inherit shit.
The night the lights went out.
It was like the first time he sent a Twitter message to me to tell me what was going on
instead of texting me.
I wrote back to Mishka and I was fucking livid.
You fuck.
You broke the knob on our windup toy.
What an incredible dick move.
The main house will be under construction.
This is where I went soft on it.
Because I go, the main house will be under construction while you guys are here.
They're blowing out the walls of the bedrooms,
but I'll get your openers and Airbnb within walking distance.
Remind me closer to then.
And then I wrote, I was going gonna try to get people to petition twitter
to bring inman back i didn't know it was an inside job get your defense presentation ready for the
podcast unconscionable unbookables three should just be you and inman on the road and a third to
fan the flames stanhope so i closed it like i wasn't as angry as I was because I didn't want to fucking tilt the deal.
And then he writes back, hey, fuck you, buddy.
I picked up the phone and actually called him.
Meaning you, Inman.
Why?
He says, you have no idea what I endured.
Wait, wait, no.
Oh, no, it gets worse.
It gets worse because it gets better.
He goes, you have no idea what I endured.
I'd rather drink two pints of Andrus hot piss than go through that again.
Seriously, though, did you see what he said about me?
He accused me of having a hot girlfriend and being successful.
And, you know, I can't take that shit lying down.
successful and you know i can't take that shit lying down which he's not only chad has questions here but he's not just saying i got him banned permanently from twitter which is
one of two lifelines for business in our business to reach fans was there i'm assuming that you said something worse than
that but he's saying oh yeah he said i have a hot girlfriend so i had a band he was complimenting
himself yes he's complimenting and backhandedly and but in making a joke because certainly
you would even if if i disagreed with inman or whatever we're
still friends and especially uh uh to get you kicked off of a fucking medium where you promote
your you know your comedy and stuff that's fuck that's hitting you so i have to assume that you
did something way more fucked up than what he alluded to otherwise what the fuck i don't
understand that at all well if you said anything like you said about
almost every single person in this room which is as awful as you can get and we still love you
this is where i know you were upset about someone drawing shit on your head. Yeah. Because we fuck with you.
People who don't know the
the... You're not in
on the gag. You're... Oh,
it's that fucking David Bishop
story.
No one here knows it, where
he's this drunken comic in the UK
and they were throwing out a heckler,
a show he was just standing in the back of the
room, and the Leicester Square theater guys
had to manhandle a fighter out of the room
and they manhandled well.
And once they had him locked down,
David Bishop comes up in a black coat
and starts kicking the guy when he's down and shackled.
And they're like, no, don't help us.
That's what a lot of people,
like those guys didn't have the tenure to fucking draw on your
forehead and fuck with people jack and dino who i know is listening yeah you're a fucking cunt to a
lot of people that weekend mike montoya he was a fucking dick like all right you gotta these are
our friends you know your fucking social circle and your rank this is the same reason i shit on
fucking chris castles that filmed andy
andrist's pedophile thing and you know you're the that's why i fucked with you in my book
calling you the video flunky and the camera stooge and yeah you then you showed up with
swagger that you don't have we fuck with inman it's like we Rudy backwards but we fuck with Inman as a friend
we don't go hey let's cut his
fucking power line so he can't
fucking get cable
I completely wish that
we had the fucking rant
I'll try to paraphrase it
my name's Chad Shank and I
stuff walnuts up my ass
and I fuck monkeys
and I do whatever Doug up my ass and I fuck monkeys and I do whatever
Doug Stanton tells me to do.
It was over the top.
I can just to fucking show you
that I will read that
and not harbor ill will towards you
where I would fucking do something
so fucked up towards you is what I'm saying.
Because we already were talking at that time.
We were sending little messages back to each other
and you were basically trying to find out, Inman, are you still drinking?
And I'm like, no, I'm sober now.
And so you're like, all right, I'm making $1,000.
I'm like, all right, let's just go with this.
Well, and because the dude that set up the GoFundMe thing wanted to take it back down because he said, someone that knows Inman tells me that this is affecting him seriously, and I don't want to do that.
You. No, no. And I said, yeah, well and i don't want to do that you and i
said no and i said yeah well i don't want to do that either we were just fucking around so he
talked to me and i said no i'm totally cool with it i mean i um i've been friends with doug for a
long time i think he gets the joke i've said worse to him to his face and uh um then the second rant was basically,
you know what?
I'm going to unfriend everybody, Mishka. If you think you're annoyed by one of Doug's circle of friends,
you have no idea because I've been dealing with this shit since 1995,
so I'm going to unfriend everybody.
Come on.
I was a judge at san francisco comedy competition
you you were the winner weren't you yes yeah i was all right yeah there's no fucking senate
subcommittee right if i'm if i if i drifted some books on that uh i guess most of this is social
media that you get not in in person because on social media people say snarky negative
shit and um you know uh so so anyway the guy goes yeah write a couple more rants and we'll be done
with it and we'll give him his thousand bucks and that's when i wrote the last rant okay which was
this whole thing started when mishka unfriended me. And that was the last rant where I tried to explain everything.
Well, you know what?
That's a good thing because otherwise Mishka is going to ask you if you can put people in your fucking closet-sized apartment when he's playing there making money and his opening acts have no place to stay.
Yeah, he can sleep on my couch.
I'm not mad at him.
I just don't understand why he's mad at me.
Well, the fact that he
had the hubris to fuck with you on that
level, which is just, it's just like
I'm going to steal his money, basically.
That's your fucking commerce
statement. I'm closing up.
Alright.
If you
had Mishka's Twitter or Facebook taken down as a prank he has no way to reach his audience
and i we wouldn't do that to him but it it pisses me off that he thinks oh i'm a comedian you're not
you're a musician and a writer. A writer.
Yeah.
He bought his mother a house, according to his book, with his fucking Amazon.
But he's still dumping off his fucking opening acts.
He's a good writer.
Don't worry.
I like his opening acts.
My point being, he's a writer.
He writes things.
So do you.
No one's ever paid Chad Shank 1,100 bucks to read Mishka.
Probably your biggest selling work so far.
Mishka is coming up on the next podcast when it comes to Bisbee.
So I'm going to put it in your hands.
Oh, Jesus.
So I'm going to have to talk to him.
Stay with me.
I didn't even know what was going on.
Again, I was on vacation.
But when I heard a little bit about how you're, fuck, Doug, stand up and everyone.
I go,
I just blocked James Inman. And then I tweeted,
Hey,
let's just all block James Inman to fuck with you even more.
So it would ramp up your tweets,
which we could make fun of.
I didn't know that you had been permanently blocked at that point.
It wasn't until Mishka told me,
and I called you immediately because I know who true friends are.
They're the ones who say, fuck him and all his friends.
So Mishka admitted that he blocked me.
Yeah, I just read that to you.
Okay, so.
By the way.
So Mishka, we're going to fuck with Mishka on your behalf.
This is going to be the first time you're the hero of a podcast.
But I was thinking of telling.
Don't steamroll that one. of a podcast. But I was thinking of telling...
Don't steamroll that one, Jack.
That is so good.
All right. Go ahead.
I was thinking about saying, hey,
what if all of my
fans blocked you on Twitter?
We're not going to take it down, but let them
live on his fucking own accord.
But if you're a fan of Mischko because of us, that's what I'm saying.
No.
I'm going to let you think about it.
You're going to go back home to Kansas City.
I'll let you think about it.
You text me.
I'll tell you when Mishka is going to be on the podcast.
And you text me a thumbs up or thumbs down.
What?
If I want Mishka.
Just having.
No.
What, if I want Mishka?
No, this is my idea, is Mishka gets unfollowed by all of my fans until he writes a letter of apology to Twitter saying, I made up all this stuff.
Mishka was never threatened with violence in any way that he could ever with a straight face. Wait a minute. We don't know his sensitivities
at this point. James was right. He might have
a social justice warrior disease.
I mean,
it's not his fault. He can be very
sensitive at this point. We're not sure.
No. No one says, oh, by
the way, I got Inman
kicked off Twitter.
Because
they felt threatened.
He did it.
He's taller than me.
By the way.
What a gaslighter.
He manipulated the system.
What a fool.
I have a lot of mentally ill
stalker fans.
I'm sorry.
That's all right. I it i missed it i have a lot of mentally ill stalker fans and since this happened to james there's one that just makes me outraged and i know
that it's a mentally ill person but like just fuck off and it's been a long time and i just
tried to have him booted off twitter and you can't
just hit a button like you were thinking a lot of people just hit the abuse button or whatever
no you have to go you have to fill out like a police report show evidence screenshots of things
i'm like i didn't go through that for this guy that's just an annoyance to me but it shows the lengths that Mishka
Shibali did just to fuck you
in no other place than
your wallet and your outlet to the people
that love you and that's
fucked up so when he's on
we're gonna fuck with him and maybe
maybe we get everyone to fucking
block Mishka but we're
no don't do that no
I'm not block him. Just let him live on
his own fan base, not people
that just know him from me.
I'll text you before the Mishka
podcast. That'll be the
next week's episode
is Mishka gets his
comeuppance, but I'll have a funnier title.
Inman, I love you.
I don't like when people fuck with you when they're not in the loop.
Yeah, they were.
Yeah, that's, I mean, I was kind of halfway joking.
Did I say Mishka?
I think I said Mishka.
Inman.
I don't know.
I was thinking Mishka.
God, it makes me so fucking angry.
Well, I mean, I've written worse.
I knew that it was just a thing. I'm thinking Mishka. God, it makes me so fucking angry. Well, I mean, I've written worse to you.
I knew that it was just a thing.
You should write even worse, and I'll fly you on a Learjet.
Right, right, right.
The Concorde.
You'll be outside of it, but you'll still be on it.
Right.
Winglocker. You know, it's so funny.
It's like now I'm actually scared to send emails to him because I don't know where it's going to end up.
I mean, God knows.
Well, don't. You're still talking to him? I don't know where it's going to end up. I mean, God knows. Well, don't.
You're still talking to him?
I don't email him.
He emails me.
Hey, I hate to ask, but.
All right, James, we're going to close out.
I have this written down.
My favorite thing.
I mean, you have plenty of material, but you don't want to burn your material.
I'm going to close out with you at a city council meeting in Seattle from YouTube.
It's a little bit old, but it's fucking brilliant.
And then there's going to be a lot of Easter eggs at the end of this,
of all the voicemails we didn't play.
So if people sit through it, they can listen to the rest of the voicemails.
I don't think they're Easter eggs if you tell people they're there yeah but i want people to know this time because
we had to sit and listen to all of them going some of them are redundant but they're all fucking
funny i love you james inman here's james inman right after the wto riots in the 90s in seattle
talking about he starts with the WTO riots
just listen
and then makes it all about him
nothing to do with the WTO riots
but it's brilliant and I've tried to copy
that at my city council and I can
never live up to your fucking
giant boots that you've owned for
40 years
bootstraps
yeah 40 years. Food straps. Just where we make out. Yeah. All right.
Number 133 is James Inman.
Thanks.
I was in the protest.
I didn't get arrested, but a year before the entire protest,
I was arrested for saying the F word,
and I will not use that word in front of the council.
I'm sorry.
I will substitute the word forget for the word the F word.
Okay?
So I was trying to go to the bathroom.
And the bathroom door was locked.
And I said, forget it.
And this lady said, excuse me.
And I said, I need to go to the bathroom.
She says, your language.
I go, you've never heard the word forget? How about forget you, you mother forgetter. You ever heard that word before?
And then I ran across the street to find another bathroom and she called the police and this cop
came up to me and said, let me see your license. And I said, what for? You're going to arrest me
for saying the word forget? And he said, put your hands behind your back.
And I got arrested for saying the word forget.
So this is my open letter to Mark Sidron.
You dysfunctional, retarded, mentally ill, derelict, demon scum, antichrist,
spewing worthless, constipated balls of dung
from your funk and wagnell education.
You're a liquid-emitting fart.
You evil bastard.
You're a clear-cutting, cigar-smoking, depraved lunatic
with a machine-replacement head.
Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps
and please hack off your own feet and eat them.
You profit-seeking circus act.
Your idiot gibberish fuels the dystopian nightmares cooked up daily from the industrial laboratories of death.
The giant echo of no trickling down from overpaid, overfed lackeys.
The Gucci overlords and conservatives have always been black-hearted demons, and
all WTO representatives are their mutated, half-human, retarded stepchildren. You're
incontinent pond scum. You spineless vegetable head of dead lettuce with the mental capacity
of a swatch battery, the cognitive skills of a pigeon, and the intelligent quotient
of a dirt clod. intelligent quotient of a dirt
clod. A blood clot for a brain and a softened skull you can poke your finger
in like a stick of hot butter. Those little rodent eyes like two shiny black
BBs that never blink, gazing away into empty space, and a third eye on the side
of the skull dripping ice knot, combing your hair over so as not to scare
children. A dead third eye just above the right ear like
a milky black protruding mole, you black magician and
puppet master, trained by Alistair Crowley and raised by feral goats
turning Seattle into a Nazi clan outpost with David Duke's
twin alcoholic brother at the controls.
Your entire philosophy is a
bunk corporate handjob, and
all your heroes are evil.
Anne Rand is a walking brain hemorrhage.
Rush Limbaugh is a whimpering
dehumanized thug. Ronald
Reagan is a diseased midget steeped
in chocolate slim fast.
To sum up,
my worthless friends,
Mark Sidron is a plastic toad,
a horrible scab-infected abortion,
a demonic fascist,
a pathetic worm with dogmatic sermons
for an industrial cesspool,
a space heater filled with human waste and cat hair,
a fan of John Tesh,
a corporate shill,
a floating green turd in the punch bowl of life,
and may bright yellow vitamin-fortified piss flow onto the door handle of his holy automobile. James, your remarks will be part of the record of the hearing.
Andy, you were just on Twitter eight minutes ago,
and you can't answer your goddamn phone.
Somebody, Ben Scott, is uploading video from Panaman, and it's bullshit.
It's shit that's going to fuck me up even more.
I mean, if you're going to upload shit from Panaman on goddamn YouTube,
maybe you should, like, run it by me first so I can see it.
Or we can both agree or something.
I mean, Doug, Shaley, and Brian told all of us not to bring a video camera to Panamint.
And now my shit, my stupid shit, stupid shit that I did in payment is being uploaded to YouTube.
This is fucking bullshit.
All right?
It's not funny.
And I will fucking, I swear to God, I know enough about Doug to bring his entire empire down.
Him and Brian.
All I have to do is call one girl and have her write a blog post, all right?
I just swear to God, really, honestly, I have always supported both of these motherfuckers,
and this is bullshit. I can't get anybody on the phone. Nobody's calling me back. Ben Scott, it's 9 a.m. in Australia, and he's not answering my Twitter, okay?
And he's not taking the video down.
If somebody fucking uploads that video, then fuck, all right?
It's not funny, all right?
then I'm fucked, alright?
It's not funny, alright?
Especially when they told all of us not to bring a video camera to Bannerman, okay?
Oh, you fucking cunt.
Pick up the fucking phone.
I told you to call me.
You read that
and you still haven't called call me, you read that, and you still
haven't called me back, you motherfucker, and now you're posting bullshit on Twitter, do you want
to fuck with me, because I will fucking destroy you, you stupid fucking retard cunt, all I ask
you is to call me back, and now you're mocking me on Twitter, what the fuck is wrong with you,
and now you're mocking me on Twitter?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Fucking, if you called me,
and you needed me to call you for some, any reason,
any fucking reason,
I would be there for you, you stupid fuck.
You think this is funny?
Next time you call me, and you need me,
I'm gonna laugh at you, and I'm gonna write bullshit stuff on Twitter, and he called
me, and he's, and then I'll just make some stupid joke, blah, blah, blah, fuck you, cunt,
I don't have to be your friend, honestly, Andy, I don't have to be, you're, you're,
you're pretty much the only person I like out of this entire group.
And Doug, Brian, everyone, Shaley, the entire group, Brett Erickson, doesn't matter, all the unbookables, and you, I don't really give a flying fuck about.
And I could still live my life without being any of your friends.
I don't care anymore.
All right?
So fuck you. All don't care anymore. All right, so fuck you.
All right, fuck you.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
This is James Inman.
Remember when you said, don't bring a video camera to Panaman?
Nobody records anything, Ben Scott from Australia, you know, pretty
husband, is uploading video on YouTube of shit that I said in Panamint, this is bullshit,
okay, now, I can't get a hold of Doug, I can't get a hold of Brian, I can't get a hold of Ben Scott in Australia,
somebody needs to fucking call that motherfucker and tell him to take that video down, alright,
this is not funny, I will drive out the busy and I'll make a fool of all of you, alright,
just like I did with my most downloaded fucking podcast, all right? I'm tired of this shit. You don't
upload video of Panamint on YouTube when you told us all not to bring a fucking video camera,
all right? Now, there's contracts and shit. You know, I want to see the video before it's
up, but goddammit, fucking somebody call me back, I called Brian, I called Doug, this
is not funny, you're not funny, okay, alright, this is, this is bullshit, yeah, it's funny,
no it's not, this shit on there about racism, and I'm not fucking gonna go down like fucking
Roseanne Barr, you motherfuckers.
You fucking, you want to fuck with me, Shirley?
I swear to God, I have been loyal to all of you fuckers.
All of you.
I've never fucking said anything negative about you, about Brian or Doug, unless they said it to your face.
Don't fuck with me.
I swear to God, I'll fuck with all of you.
I know shit about Doug that nobody knows.
You don't want me.
You don't want me to start writing shit about Doug.
All right?
And you.
Or Brian.
Online.
I'll fucking write all kinds of shit.
I have nothing to lose, you motherfucker.
You call me back, or you call Doug, or you have somebody call me back,
or you call that motherfucker in Australia, Ben Scott,
and you tell him to take that video down before it's edited or something.
This is bullshit.
Bullshit editing.
He's a fucking retard.
All right? He's fucking retard. All right?
He's got autism.
All right?
We don't want an autistic fucking goddamn scientist to edit video for 10 minutes.
They don't know shit.
Okay?
So call me or you fucking call me, you fucking motherfucker.
I know what time it is in L.A.
It's 6 o'clock now.
It's got to be 7 or 8. You've got to fucking answer your fucking motherfucker. I know what time it is in L.A. It's six o'clock now. It's got to be seven or eight.
You've got to fucking answer your fucking phone.
This ain't reality TV.
It's the Doug Steno Podcast.