The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #300: Brody Stevens and Going Down Suicide / Mental Illness Lane

Episode Date: February 27, 2019

Doug remembers comedian Brody Stevens and discusses suicide and mental illness with Jobi, Chad and Bingo. Jobi is leaving for the UK, Chad's previous lock up and Doug hitting the open mic stage.Email your questions for the podcast to [e-mail] Feb. 23rd, 2019 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Jobi (@StanhopesCDP), Chad Shank (@hdfatty), bingo (@bingobingaman), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.This episode is sponsored by[RobinHood.com](https://Stanhope.Robinhood.com) - Robin Hood is the investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETF's, options and Cryptos - all commission free. Robinhood is giving our podcast listeners a FREE stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help build your portfolio just for signing up at  [Stanhope.Robinhood.com](https://Stanhope.Robinhood.com).[Stanhope Store Merch](http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/) - New Podcast Coffee Mug, VHS copies of “Popov Vodka presents Doug Stanhope" and, for a limited time, "THIS IS NOT FAME (Paperback) SIGNED WITH a PODCAST T-SHIRT! - [http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/](http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/)LINKS -“[Brody Stevens: ENJOY IT!](https://amzn.to/2NvPjDP)” - Available on Amazon Prime - [https://amzn.to/2NvPjDP](https://amzn.to/2NvPjDP)[Alaska B4UDie Comedy Festival](https://www.alaskab4udiefest.com/), Anchorage, Alaska April 2-7, 2019 - [https://www.alaskab4udiefest.com/](https://www.alaskab4udiefest.com/)Tucson [Open Mic at The Mint](https://www.tucsoncomedy.com/event/open-mic-mint/) - [https://www.tucsoncomedy.com/event/open-mic-mint/](https://www.tucsoncomedy.com/event/open-mic-mint/)Check out  Chad's Twitch feed – Twitch.tv/HD_FattyWe like what they are doing over at [http://www.FIRRP.org](http://www.FIRRP.org) - Check it outSupport the Innocence Project - [http://www.innocenceproject.org](http://www.innocenceproject.org)Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Good night. Good night. Good night. You're listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. What is that? Wow. I went to the dentist the other day and that was the surprise I got. I didn't know what they were doing.

Took both of those teeth and they're temporaries until March. I told them, I don't want to do it. It's going to infect my fucking shit again because I had an infection all up in here. They had to do surgery. It's all connected, man.

All infected again. They did it last week. It's completely infected. It hurts up in my eye socket. Your sinus cavity. I've always. The root of the teeth. Yeah. Touch the floor of the cavity.

Yep. It's fucked up. That's how I found out I had something on my teeth is because I had a pain in my nostril right here. I've had that problem for years. And then finally when I got the tooth pulled, everything started clearing up. Yeah, there's a documentary about root canals on Netflix. I just saw that. I watched the first 30 seconds of it the other day.

And the guy's like, no other part of medicine do they leave a necrotic organ in your body other than dental. And if you think it's not going to cause problems to the rest of your system, you're fooling yourself. And I'm going, oh, I'm shutting that up. What am I going to undo? These two root canals in my face? I didn't see it. I saw it on Netflix. I've been trying to do a Netflix

binge for two days, but there's always something that fucking comes up and someone who has to come over and I need to talk to someone about something. Hey, this is going to be a well, I don't think it's going to be dark at all but we're going down suicide

mental illness lane. Enjoy it. Positive energy. That's the guy. That's his catchphrase you always say. And I was like, I don't know who that guy is. And then you're like, no, you don't fucking believe. Chaley doesn't know who Brody Stevens is.

Because you always have to say enjoy it. And you use some other catchphrase. That's when I go, I don't know. And then you said he opened for the man. You did the warm-up for the man show and stuff like that. But what was the other thing you said yesterday? You said something else. And I'm like, yeah, I think I know.

But it's enjoy it, guy. Yeah. If you don't know, Brody Stevens, a legend amongst comics. You might not know him. Comics know him. He hung himself

at 48 years old. So I've been going down just a huge binge. He has a... Enjoy It is the name of his series. I guess it was on HBO Go or... Then it got picked up by Comedy Central, but it's

on Amazon Prime prime so after about five hours of just random youtube shit i'm like fuck it i'm gonna buy this series i was i actually bummed out that we had to do these podcasts because i'm on episode six i think five or six out of twelve and it's fucking brilliant god damn it how long do you know him he well he did i forgot until someone brought it up on twitter we did a week together when i did the acid bootleg which is some bootleg floating around i think it was 2001 we did a week together in houston when i did that i did acid on stage and just... Well, I did it right before I went on

and then... So it was just coming on towards... Yeah, as it's going, I can feel it in my jaws and the smile, permagrin is coming on, but I told him, I was telling the audience, I have to go listen to that fucking thing. I have that. So yeah, he introduced

me on that so i've known him since at least 2001 but we're not close he did uh we did when i got my first hernia surgery uh we did that uh benefit show for the humane society uh to pay the doctors back like uh all right it's in the book. Anyway, so he flew out for that, and I think that was right after his first serious mental breakdown, where they had to 51-50 him. I remember

whenever I saw it before, because I didn't know you guys when you did that show, but I was at that show, and I remember it because the crowd totally didn't fucking get most of what he was doing and I thought it was hilarious and then Neil Hamburger was on after that and it was so much worse

for them not getting the joke. It was so much fun being audience. Neil Hamburger was awesome. That's when Kenny got tossed out for a brief time. He was drunk and like talking back and they threw him out, and he started crying. I was going to say, which Kenny?

And then when you said crying, I don't have to ask. Yeah, Kenny tossed out crying. Yeah, that was a good show. We got Joby and Bingo here, as well as Chad Shank and Chaley, and Gump is in the background. Maybe he'll jump on at some point.

Who knows? Yeah, the second episode of Enjoy It is where he had a serious break off his meds and was talking about having a gun on Twitter. And they had to do it's the whole series. Like, I'm halfway through, and it's fucking great. But we weren't friends. I probably have his number in my phone because of that benefit show that he did. I just paid for his flight, and he came out and did it with Henry Phillips and Brendan Walsh and Shawcroft, Neil Hamburger.

It was a fucking great night. But I remember vividly Bingo and I picking him up at the airport. We had an airport hotel. We went to Denny's for breakfast and it was the most awkward and painful. Because you know me in the morning. I don't have social skills in the morning and he doesn't drink and he has he's coming off a mental break and the three of i remember how desperately i i'd go outside to smoke like oh yeah i'm gonna go outside and smoke because there was no conversation going on even I don't know if you talk to him morning breakfast

of someone that you just know like in a comedy social circle like he did you know warm up for the man show and then I'd see him occasionally if I was in LA but we're friends and for someone coming out

of a fucking mental breakdown that's... Yeah, it was fucking awful. Was he quiet too, or was it... He was trying to have normal conversation? Because I was going to say, nobody ever had to tell us to not talk in the morning. We all just

know to leave each other the fuck alone. He's not a drunk. It's an unspoken rule. I'm so far out of the industry, which was he was consumed with career and industry. The brilliance of his name

dropping. When he would do warm-up, he'd bring out pictures of him with fucking famous people. That's right. I know him. Yes, I met sports figures. And when you consume yourself like

I have all day, you go, that's not that's what he does. Like, that's not part of the act. I mean, it is, but he almost supersedes. I always use Hedberg and Maria Bamford as people who have just extrapolated their personalities when you go through it and he keeps, I was in the hangover one. I was in the hangover two. I was in due date.

Cut out of funny people. He repeats this over a course of a decade And snapping at people in the audience. I remember Brendan Wall. She used to occasionally break out where some lady would be. It's always a lady, right, Brendan? Lady would be heckling him and he'd go, listen, lady, I made over $80,000 last year. It's just like a random kind of middling number. It's not famous.

But he was kidding. With Brody Stevens, you don't know that he's kidding when he's screaming that I was in the hangover. There's sets where he's doing the lines. There's sets where he's doing the lines. He had like one line in the Hangover one and two sentences in the other Hangover movie. But he's like snapping on people. Yeah, it's... Unlike, you know... Well, like Sean R rouse where you go i i didn't see it coming no one said that about sean rouse but with yeah with brody with mental illness with you know suicide fuck yeah someone

tweeted uh because you know pat and put out the tweet hey if you're ever feeling like that please reach out to someone and other people are tweeting suicide hotline numbers and then someone i was too much of a pussy to retweet it but someone said listen anyone who says that you should reach out to a fucking toll-free number when you're suicidal, doesn't know what suicidal means. Because you don't reach out to your partner, much less a fucking stranger. Yeah, I don't reach out to you guys when I'm circling the drain. I know.

And I'd probably be pissed off if you guys reached out to me. I'm going through some shit. Can you leave me alone right now? I don't want to fucking talk to you guys. Yes. I saw on social media a little while back, and it kind of pissed me off. Somebody was posting something that they were having a hard time or whatever, and somebody posted pictures of starving African children.

Just think of how much better you have. I was like, oh, you're a fucking asshole. I'd punch you right in the fucking throat if I saw you, man. That's an old bit that I used to do about something, but your suck doesn't make my suck suck less. There's always going to be someone worse off, but I'm not

them. I'm me, and it sucks right now. I think me and Chaley are the only people in this room that haven't fucking... Even you, you know, even Gump back there. Had a little stint with it.

Yeah. Pulled out by the cops. We could do this the hard way or the easy way. Bingaman, you've been fucking sketchy for a while. Recently. Yeah, you want to talk? Not yet. We're still rolling into it.

I'm getting there. Come on. I hate the 20 minute mark. Because we have to break at 20 minutes. It's kind of contractually obligated to get sponsors in. We don't have to do anything. To make a natural break, yeah. Yeah, I kind of plan around it.

That's enough to kind of get rolling, and then we get the business out of the way. And then have a few cocktails, and then the second break is good. We've never really talked about your suicidal, but we should. Here, I'm pulling up the... Joby. I'm pulling up the African kids. Hold on. So when Joby starts talking, I'll put it on the monitor.

Speak up. That's why Joby's moving to England. Yeah. Look, somebody said, look how much more handsome you are than all these people. So he's going to move there so he can feel better about himself every day. I don't know how anyone isn't suicidal in England. It's the worst. I used to say that I'm terrified of dying over here.

All I would think about is, what if I fucking died in this miserable fucking country? While you're in England? Yeah. I was consumed with death over there. I think that's why I'm going, is to push it, like, inundate myself with just misery to see if I can push through the other side on it and rise above. Runner's high? Yeah, yeah.

The runner's high on it. You know, just why not? Just, you know, go for it and put myself in a miserable situation, you know, worse than I'm in now, and see what happens. So fuck it. Well, you'll be with Hack, so. Yeah, and he's, you know. He'll run you ragged. He will.

He's going to say. He does everything for a story, so there's going to be lots of fun times. That guy is a perennial child as far as his humor. No, no. Like his longevity. What's the fucking word I'm looking for? Stamina. Thank you.

I've known him for fucking, what, 15 years at least now? At least, yeah. And he's always, no, no, let's keep going. Let's do more drugs. There's still Jaeger in the bottle. Yeah, I'm going to die. This is going to be fun. Well, fortunately, everything...

Hey, we got a bartender. I was just slurping my drink, and Tracy shows up out of the blue. I've been shaking my ice. I didn't know nobody was here. She's down in the basement. I've been shaking my eyes. I didn't know nobody was here. She's down in the basement. I'm just kidding, Tracy. I'm still on my first drink. So, Doug, you've been to Europe,

and you said you didn't want to die in England? Yeah, I would say I don't want to die, like, ironically, like, stepping on an AIDS needle on my way to buy condoms, and I don't want to die, like, ironically, like, stepping on an AIDS needle on my way to buy condoms. And I don't want to die. Like, it was a three-beater. But mostly, I don't want to die in your awful country. And it's just so sallow.

And I know she's the English major, Tracy, here. You know what that word means. Is that sallow? Is that a right word? I think that's what they make soap out of. No, that's tallow. Wait. Now I'm getting confused.

So my question is, what country besides the U.S. did you think, eh, this might be good if I stepped on an AIDS needle here? Australia? Australia? Costa Rica? Costa Rica. Really? I've had bad times there.

I'd be afraid I'd get eaten by dogs as I laid there. They don't find you, and then all of a sudden, there's dogs. That's the appealing part to me. I like that. I've had ball rash in Costa Rica that I thought might be terminal. Fucking humidity there, and my balls. Oh, my God. Even Scandinavia.

Fucking Norway. That's the one I figured. Sweden's not that great Norway is fucking fantastic but but Joby's going to anywhere but England sorry England the queen's going to be upset

we need to hook up Joby because I remember when we were there for that extended 7-week tour, the cigarettes are like $16 a pack. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, they're expensive. So I'm going to have to roll my own.

Do they have black market tobacco over there? Suck dick for cigarettes. I don't know. They do? Isn't there like a Go Cigarette Me campaign where we can just send Joby cigarettes for the people? Lucy's? Yeah. We get the little test tubes to send them over?

When we were there, I forgot. I didn't even put this in the book. I'm remembering now. Bingo had this whooping cough, like this ratso-rizzo from Midnight Cowboy. Like a honk? I remember going into a fucking Chinese buffet next to a gig, and you had this, and you're doing it over the food, where this fucking hen's night, which is what they call a bachelorette party.

It was a group of women are going, oh, you're fucking disgusting. Don't do that on the food. And I was ready to leave. It was that embarrassing. Bingo had no compunction about this. You could feel that, you know,

that itchy lung cough where it's like fiberglass in your lungs and she had that and she's belching this over the fucking stir fry or whatever. But we've been on the road when she's had that too. Like here, stateside. This was extended.

And we're in England, different town. So I was saying, hey, anyone showing up to any upcoming gigs, bring any leftover antibiotics you might have for bingo and then other people are going you could infect, if you don't take a full course of antibiotics fucking bullshit like we're gonna spread fucking Ebola

virus all over the the plagued island that idea of finishing the course I was just listening to one of these podcasts, and the doctor was like, that's based on something from the 1700s or whatever it was. It was something so antiquated. It's because it's the first person that they actually tried antibiotics on. It was a guy who had an open wound that they couldn't suture up.

He had this like crazy, like he had some kind of explosion or something. But he had this thing, and theyrotized like crazy like he had some like kind of explosion or something but he had this thing and they go hey that's a good guy to try this on i mean he's gonna die anyway right so then they because he lived with the with the open hole but then they tried the first course of antibiotics on him and and it had to go for i think they did 10 days or something and then they based everything since then on that. They never went back and said, can you just do it? Because after three days, I feel good. No, you must finish. And that's part of the problem is how much

of the antibiotics that are in your system and in the well, it gets flushed down the toilet, it's down the water supply. I could definitely say that as a person who's inconsistent on every single thing in life, including taking medicines, I don't know that I've ever finished a course.

Unless it's those real short ones that you only have to take for a few days. But I always will stop taking it when I feel better because I don't remember. Is this a break time? That's the problem. Mentally, I get into a break time. We've all

had a cocktail. I think it might be a good time for a break. I feel good. All right. Well, since we have a bartender, cocktails. Okay, Chaley, Robinhood. Robinhood is an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFs, options, and cryptos all commission-free. While other brokerages charge up to $10 for every trade, Robinhood doesn't charge any commission fees,

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discover new stocks, track your favorite companies, and get custom notifications for price movements so you never miss the right moment to invest. Robinhood is giving listeners of the Doug Stanhope Podcast a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help build your portfolio. Sign up at stanhope.robinhood.com. That's stanhope.robinhood.com. That's stanhope.robinhood.com. Oh, and before we get back to the podcast, I also have to thank James Frost Wynn and Clint. Both of them sent me Muddy Bears. A total of 15 pounds of Muddy Bears showed up.

So thank you. The Muddy Bears thing a total of 15 pounds of Muddy Bears showed up. So thank you. The Muddy Bears thing is going crazy. We should get them as an official sponsor. We should get Muddy Bear tattoos. Okay, let's get back to it. Mm-hmm. I like biscuits and mustard. I also like the Doug Stanhope podcast.

Mm-hmm. I love you, sweet leaf. Have you been locked up, psych? Yes. I love you sweet leaf uh have you been locked up psych uh yes Chad

at the VA yeah voluntarily um well my wife put me in there but yeah the law didn't put me in there that's a Baker Act

thing that the Baker Act is when when you can commit someone that's in your family? Well, I went with her. She told me, because we have like a deal. She can judge better than I if I'm, you know, I'll always say that I'm okay. Were we around for this?

Is this yet another thing I forgot? No. I don't think so. This was before I met you guys. All right. Not long before I met you guys, I don't think so. This was before I met you guys. Alright. Not long before I met you guys, I don't think. But yeah, she took me to the local VA and told me, you know, yeah, we need to get

him some help. And she says, well, do you have a specific plan? And I said, yes, I'm going to wrap my head in towels and then I'm going to duct tape it, but I'm going to leave room for a gun underneath my chin. Then I'm going to put garbage bags over my head and then I'm going to lay in the bathtub my head, and then I'm going to lay in the bathtub

and I'm just going to blow my head off in the bathtub because I'm a considerate fucking person. You don't have to scrape brains off ceilings. You don't want your family to have to see all that. You're a gentleman. But apparently that wasn't enough of a plan.

First on the list should have said, be quiet. Don't tell anyone plan number two get the towel because that was the criteria to get part of the criteria for them to to lock me up was uh you have to have a specific plan to kill yourself so she asked me do you have a specific plan do you guys have duct tape and towels and maybe some trash? And a bit of a spill. She took me to Tucson, to the VA in Tucson, and just took me to the emergency room, told them what was going on. They put us in a separate room there for a few hours,

and then they put me up. They call it One West. It was the same thing. You take your fucking shoelaces and give you a fucking robe, and you get to watch The Waterboy on VHS and fucking do great. Jody, do you think that if you had a life partner, I'm not saying you're gay. Not saying you're not gay. You're right. But what do you, because you've been through in the last year well it's gotten darker

as it goes three years have been pretty dark for me do you think if you had someone that you told your inner emotions to that they would have you baker acted oh yeah yeah absolutely I think so

that was a nod in my head before you know if Joby can answer oh absolutely I keep a lot of stuff close to I think so. That was a nod in my head before you know if Joby can answer. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I keep a lot of stuff close to, you know, close to me. And I don't tell a lot of people, like, what really goes on in my head. Well, that's why.

And I know the three of you, you and Bingo and Chad, have a lot of fucking 4 am. Conversations the same way I get emails from fans. You get the fucking dirt from each other. Hey, you awake? Well, I mean, and even on, you know,

on bingo suggestion, I went and saw a therapist for a very short time. And all it did was just piss me off because he threw me like psych 101 bullshit. And he should have known like at the beginning. Okay, I need to step it up a little bit. He's kind of next level than like, oh, just the run of the mill. I'm depressed. No. And he couldn't snap out of it.

Oh, I'm going to throw psych 101 at you. And like, fuck you. Go eat a bag of dicks, you fucker. It feels insulting. Yeah, it really did did how does that make you feel i know that's a cliche but it's also a reality of the is that a.a they somewhere in the big book of a.a they actually say that there's some people that are too smart for a.a and i would assume it's the same with therapy. Yeah, yeah.

Some people are too smart for therapy and some therapists are too dumb for the smart people. I consider myself dumb but I do outthink their therapy. I will fucking overthink instead of just accepting it and they've told me, they're like,

yeah, I can't help you with our regular shit because you think too much. Yeah, on our last session he's like you know i this i know that you you what you're gonna say and this isn't working out because like there's nothing i can do for you all i can say is uh you need meds and help and i'm not the one to give it to you like yeah okay bye i i've mentioned this before too, too, but it's one thing I remember always is it's real hard to find somebody that you can trust to take advice from. Like, I remember one time there was a lady just droning on and droning on, and I was just sitting there looking, and she was wearing, like, a dress, and she had, her legs were so fat that the fat on her leg looked like pants cuffs that covered her ankles. Like you couldn't see her ankle bone because there was a fat cuff covering it. Like a scrawny, roundy putt.

Like a foreskin? Yeah, it was ankle foreskin. What's eating Gilbert Grape? But all I kept thinking was, how the fuck are you giving me advice? Your mental fucking problems are showing worse than mine. You can't even hide yours as good as me. Usually counselors and therapists are just as fucked up

as we are anyway, so let's build it over. I'm not going to go there, but yeah, someone that I was once related to said, therapist, like, really? You won't get on a fucking airplane?

You have to have your food delivered to your bed and you help other people? Ugh! Yep. Ah. Gump, you want to step up to the mic? Bingo doesn't seem chatty yet, but you want to tell us about your fucking

breakdown? Nope. He doesn't want toty yet, but you want to tell us about your fucking breakdown? No, he doesn't want to talk. Fine. Fine, Gump. He'd rather talk about his Tinder date. Yeah, we'll see if that happens. It's supposed to be tonight, but we'll see. Gump and I are going to go do open mic on Tuesday together.

Yeah? Gump spent the night in bed with me in the nest last night. Mm-hmm. I was about to pass out. Who's the big spoon? No, we had meat wig barrier. Oh, yeah. I was about to fall down.

It's not gay if you have a cat in between you. Is that the theory? That's super gay. That's super gay, man. That's not right. That's Versace gay. Versace gay. That sounds like it's not gay.

We took off our leg warmers and tiaras before we went down. He texted me going, well, I think I'm going to be up all night. I was going to go to bed early, but I think I'm going to be up. I hadn't seen him in a couple days. And you worry about Gump down there, the old Murphy household, all alone for days.

So I come over and get in the nest, Mr. Gump. We'll watch some Netflix documentaries. And he poured... I didn't even see because there was literally a pillow barrier at our face. There's a lot of pillows in the nest. Because of the kissing incident last time? Those aren't pillows! Those aren't pillows!

So I get a bottle of bullet bourbon on my nightstand, and then I hand it over to him if he wants a swig. Well, he tells me this morning he poured it into his beer. Whoa. And then drank his beer with bourbon in it.

Leaving Las Vegas style. This morning. Yeah. I wake up, Gump's still in my bed. Leaving Las Vegas style This morning Yeah I wake up Gump's still in my bed Meatwigs still between us And I took a picture of him In the bed

I was trying to do it Like without getting up sideways And I actually nailed the picture But the flash went off And it woke him up And so he got up and said, I'm going to get a cup of coffee before I go on home.

And I saw him on the security camera walking in here, and then I went back to whatever. I don't know if I put TV on and went back to sleep, but... Furiously jerking off. Relieving those blue balls. We've all been there.

I got a minute 35, minute 40. Wait, was the Keurig turned on? Is it warmed up? Yeah, there was a... So I come out here when fucking Bingo came over and Moptop came in and then Kenny came in. So I came out when Kenny was here. He's like, I'm looking for Gump.

He's not in his house. Kenny was worried. Yeah. Well, he supposedly has this blind date from Tinder tonight, and he said, where do you get your haircut? I go, maybe he took the fucking city bus to go get a haircut, and his glasses are still here. And then I went back inside.

I go, his coat is still here. And it is fucking freezing balls this morning. It was a low of 14 last night. Wow. Here in sunny Arizona. Yeah, it was cold. I go, he didn't fucking walk home without a jacket. He has before.

Not at 14 degrees. No. Well, it was probably in the 20s by was gonna say you don't know how much a bourbon beer warms you up i didn't i didn't know that once i saw oh check the little house and yes he had gone in he came in here made a coffee threw it up in the little house and then passed out on the bed. Which is better than throwing up on the bed and passing out in the toilet. For that, we congratulate you.

Cheers. Chase, can I get a beer? Sans bourbon? With bourbon? I got my own glass. Who's a fucking bourbon in a beer? We could ask him. He's here, but I'm afraid he won't talk.

Yeah, I'll take that. It's a water maker. But that's a shot glass. You drop it in. It's more of a festive or a total raging alcoholic thing. Yeah. You slam it real fast with all your buddies. So if he knew it was bourbon, I get it.

But if he didn't, why were you pouring something? Bullet beer. This is not a fucking Canadian club. Yeah. I wouldn't even put a... Like, I wouldn't drink bullet bourbon with fucking... The green label? Root beer like I do Canadian club with root beer.

Is it the green bottle? No, no. I have my own personal stash in there. I set you up. I got you fucking... Like a writer. Glenn Liven. I got some bourbon by the...

Bayburn? Really? That's nice. Yeah, we gotta smuggle a bottle of, like I said, a bottle of tequila over to... All right, I get off track. Thank you. After we did the bingo bringer antibiotics, as Chaley mispronounces it, then I go, hey, we're fucking running out of cigarettes from Duty Free,

and we did have a hookup over there that smuggled us some cartons of Duty Free. So if you're that guy or a guy like that guy, Joby, you leave March 21st. March 21st, yep. And you'll be in, let's's say the Nottingham area. Nottingham area, yeah, just outside of Nottingham. Nottingham. Nottingham.

It's been practiced. Oh, if you mispronounce shit on purpose, I always say the Tottingham Hotspurs, which is the Tottenham Hotspur, which is Tottenham hot spur. Well, those fuckers can't pronounce aluminum. So you ever see? Yeah. How many fucking man hours?

If you put together the millions of people that live on the UK and just putting that extra syllable in aluminum, aluminium. Aluminium. If you just said aluminum, yeah, you'd have like one or two, three more seconds in your day that you could spend on something that you enjoy. Wait, who's wrong? Because I thought I once, the first time I heard that, I looked it up and I was like, oh, wait, it does say that. But maybe I'm wrong. But why are we right? No, it's aluminum.

It's called aluminum. I thought it was phonetically correct with aluminum, but I might have just glanced. Bingo's been practicing for this podcast since this morning. She had a lot to say. Also, friend of Brody, and we've been shaking up. You don't have to be a close friend to someone to have someone in the comedy community, which is my only friends, are comedy-friendly people. What was it? Like last night, because Tracy and I came up here. Oh, the fucking song? Yeah.

Oh, it's been in my head all day. Doug wasn't up here, but we were coming back. And Tracy goes, oh, go. Tracy's had a couple of glasses of wine. Oh, go to the fun house. Doug's already in bed. So this is pre-gump. So just to set it up. And then he goes, oh, I'll come out there.

And so he comes out here and Tracy makes him a whiskey sour. So it's a little nightcap thing, right? He usually comes out after he goes to bed for some reason and then i watch you on the security camera you know you're gonna get another good drink and uh then he he confesses he was uh crying what song was it it's uh it's called vincent but you'd know it as starry starry night if you know it at all by don mclean he had two hits american pie and starryry, Starry Night. But the lyric at the end, and on that

Starry, Starry Night, and when no hope was left in sight on that Starry, Starry Night, you took your life as lovers often do. And I could have told you, Vincent, this world was never meant for someone as beautiful as you.

And it's about vincent van gogh but it was so fucking perfect for brody stevens because he was a brilliant mind as the as the movie goes he is fucking absolutely original i mean there's comics that have fucking died where i go, yeah, he was a good guy. I won't mention any names. He was one of the ones, whatever, one of the times we were at the comedy store, through the whirlwind of everything that was going on, you took the time to introduce me to him. Oh, come over here. You know, this is.

Yeah, he's renowned in comedy circles. I have friends that have died that were not. And you saw it coming. But he deserves all the accolades. Go ahead. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't follow much of his thing. I saw a few of his periscopes outside, but I didn't know much about him. I didn't follow much of his thing. I saw a few of his periscopes outside, but I didn't know much about him.

I didn't know he had metolums. But when I started reading about him and I saw 48, I was like, 48? That's a long time to be exhausted. Yeah. Yeah. 48's a... I'm not quite there. Yeah.

I'm beating down on 45 and I'm already done. Yeah. I don't want this to go on anymore. Yeah, I'm beating down on 45 and I'm already done. I don't want this to go on anymore. Like daily. So I think it's a good fight. Yeah. Someone gave me shit and because of positive energy

I didn't respond. I tweeted half of that verse when I heard about it and uh why someone tweeted back why do comics have to try to make this about themselves all i had tweeted was brody stevens is and will always be a legend r.i.p and then i did the you half that. You want to put a link to your book? And be sure to get on my mailing list? Hashtag

I knew him too. He wrote fake people trying to make it about... Really? It's surprising to me that people don't understand that comedians are kind of misfits in their own ways to where it's like a family

you know people who are comedians like in the way that you guys stick up for each other wrong or right like Stan Hope will fucking block people because other people block them if they're a comedian whether they've done anything to him or not hey Joe Rogan blocked me so can you fucking tell him

I was just trying to be funny nope if he blocked you I blocked you I fucking tell him I was just trying to be funny? Nope. If he blocked you, I blocked you. I think that's funny. It goes back to when you, at one point you said, you were often saying that you would rather sit in an airport bar with Dane Cook than any one of your fans. And it goes to the fraternity there is of stand-up comics even the the least of them is someone you have more in common with than someone who has all your dvds yeah uh let me get to this now you you transitioned to me perfectly oh wow it's that production

this is one of those... Like the Ralphie May moment or where someone dies that it's a touchy subject amongst us, but we still have Joby and Celebrity Deathpool.

So immediately people are saying, who had him in the Deathpool? Did anyone? I didn't bring it up. I had Solo. Oh, really? so immediately people are saying who had him in the death pool did anyone? I didn't bring it up oh really? if you're a regular listener to the podcast you know I have a crazies folder

and there's one it's been a while I don't know what happened to that lady. It was like thousands of crazy... The blue transvestite. Oh, shit.

Don't give too much. I'm not gonna say the name, but I called you. I'm not gonna fucking put it out on Twitter. If you follow at Stan Hope CDP, that's Joby. He runs that.

I liked it. I didn't retweet it. Too close too soon for my people with Brody. But I called him, and he goes yes one person site-wide had brody stevens i didn't even know if he was in the database yeah but he was and i said who who was it just randomly and he says the screen name of the guy. And I go, oh, fuck. That guy's in my crazies folder. And I looked him up today.

And between 2014 and 2015, he sent me like over 100 emails of like batshit crazy. I don't know if i probably responded once and then paid the price but i i looked through some of them and he's like you gave my idea to steven colbert and there's no way two people could think of this you fucked me over and like you just send me bits and they didn't like none of it makes it's just fucking out there crazy but I guess takes one to know one he saw that in Brody Stevens well he knows he knows who he is now so congratulations on your

hit and congratulations on getting a shout out on the podcast I guess I'll never say your fucking name this is a problem and we have this Because mentally ill friendly Sometimes They're a fucking asshole

It's like and it's been done In comedy where someone in a wheelchair Is a fucking dick But you can't say it because he's in a wheelchair Sometimes mentally ill people Are intolerable Yeah just because your kid is autistic Doesn't mean he's in a wheelchair. Sometimes mentally ill people are intolerable. Yeah, just because your kid is autistic doesn't mean he's not an asshole.

No, yeah, he's autistic, but he's still a dick. Let's stay on track here. Let's stay on track. You're sending me down a path that I didn't go down. All right, Gary. Go, go, go, go, go. Definitely, since being on the podcast here, being a diplomat has had its downsides, I will say.

I will agree with you. Live by the sword, die by the sword. Just the polite response. Don't be a fucking dick and just ignore this. Just say something nice. Oh, fuck. I wish I didn't say anything. I should have kept walking.

Doug willed a crazy on to me. And since February, I haven't opened one email yet. I just put them in a folder. There's one person, and you did this on purpose. Listen, since February, and today is the 23rd of February.

Just this month, yes. Oh, wait. No, it isn't just this month. No, no. I think it was back in October. But it was, I've got 1,400. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit.

Train station. What? I remember that. Are you kidding? No. So, yeah, that's a, hey, if you don't get your doodads from the store on time, I'm busy transferring files. That's dedication, though. No, no, fixation.

We joke about meetings. Can we have a meeting about this? Because I do have one that's on a watch list that I'm a little worried about. I know that one. Oh, no, is it? I know, yeah. Is it Florida? You know.

Yeah. No, no, it's a I know, yeah. Is it Florida? You know. Yeah. No, no, it's a different one. Don't worry. We need a meeting, I'm telling you. I bleep the state because I don't want anyone to... Yeah. Oh, that's me. Well, technically, though, that state, everybody would think it was that.

That's true. Listen, for the most part, people that reach out and you're having a fucking really bad day, I appreciate it. But when it gets oppressive, like, okay, this is not a friendship. I'll send you a, hey, fucking buck up, kiddo, email if you're having a shitty day. And you say, thanks for responding that i was i was in a bad place when i said that but when you start fucking in and dating we're not going to be pals if you don't have any actual real friends and you think you made one that way then you're probably better off just looking for i trailed off so i didn't say you're probably better off just looking for a way out.

Yeah. I wish you hadn't trailed off. You should have just said that. No, no. Actually, remember there was that chick just recently that texted some guy into killing himself? Yeah, yeah. With the weird eyebrows? Yeah.

You'd know the weird eyebrows if you saw this story on Newser. Fucking, fucking Brillo Pat eyebrows. Frida? I don't know. Isn't it still in court? No, she got busted for that. They were appealing.

I'm sorry again. I can never forget the eyebrows. Yeah, because it's like free speech. Text is now considered high speech. When I first read that, I was like, you can't fucking talk somebody into killing a dude, you know, committing themselves. And then I read the transcript.

I was like, that bitch talked that dude into killing himself. Yeah, like I said, teenager. Yeah. Ah, man. Fucking hanging yourself. That's the way out that, you know, one of the ways out that I don't get. Really? Because it's, hanging yourself is, I prefer quick and clean.

Not clean because, you know, obviously. You mean you wouldn't prefer. Yeah. I wouldn't prefer hanging. You don't know yet. I'd prefer shooting myself because it's quick or ODing. Yeah, you guys. Mother.

Yeah, mother. Yeah, OD. Take drugs that make you feel fantastic. Except your body can also decide that it wants to live and throw all that fucking shit up and just put you in a fucking stroke. That doesn't happen a lot with a bullet. Yeah, well, a beautiful patch of desert and a.45 and a bottle of tequila and that's it. I don't like the way this is going here.

Let's focus on. We can talk about our ideations. That's what they call them. They call it. Come on, Jalen. If you had to kill yourself, how do you go? I wouldn't. I like my life.

But if you had to. God damn it. Yeah. If you were going to get fired from podcasts. All right, now we're talking. What was that baseball show, God damn it, with Hank Azaria? It reminded me of Stan Hope. If you're going to blow your head off,

Brockmire is great. Oh no, it's pills and a bottle of booze for me. I like naps. I like naps. I like naps. Did that get picked up? What happened is crashing Brockmire, now that you bring it up, there's two TVs that I used to watch when I stayed in different fucking beds in this giant estate.

And I go, all right, well, that one's under construction now, and I don't... So, I don't know if crashing is on, or if I have it recorded on the... Because I had to move my fucking bed into the living room because of the construction, and I don't have all that shit recorded.

Brockmire got picked up for a second season? It says... Oh, then there's one with the guy... Who's the weird-headed guy. He usually does comedy, but he's a fucking serial killer. What? What? Oh, that was on HBO. No, I think it was... What?

Barry. Barry! Barry Beckham? Fuck, I'm missing all this shit. Hater? Yeah, Hater. Hold on. Brock Meyer, his IMDb has season one and season two is 2018, but it also lists two episodes for season three. So I don't, it says, it's a synopsis.

So I don't know what's going on, but that is one of those, you were talking about, you don't know which TV things are on, but that and then Crashing was the other one. Yeah, Crashing. Pete Holmes. God, there was a great little fucking brouhaha. I don't want to fucking even start. Positive energy.

Judd Apatow had an interview. Now, is this the positive energy, or are you going into it? I went into it. Of course he did. I know what he's going to say. No, I don't know what I'm going to say, because I vaguely remember I was drunk on Twitter, and a little thing popped up, and I don't want to... I want to say it was Steve Byrne, but it might not be.

It might be Eddie Ift. I don't know. They have similar fucking syllables in their names. Someone retorted to a Judd Apatow interview where he's like... It was Steve Byrne? All right. I thought we were playing that game where you say two names and no one knows which one it is. But it was Tracy.

I enjoy a Judd Apatow picture, and he gave me an inadvertent quote that I used from Twitter on my book blurb. Didn't help sell anything. How do you know? Anyway, the point is... I'm here for the Judd Apatow. I like them both, but he was saying... He had

some comment in the interview, Judd Apatow, about comics have to fucking dial back or something, and Steve Byrne went at him with... And Steve Byrne is a fucking sweetheart. He is the nicest fucking guy. He's like, really?

Did you say this shit? You part-time fucking comic. A lot of us do this full-time. It was a fucking ballsy move. And I should deal with this, but not now. I am hammered. I need to be a diplomat. I go to bed.

And then do it on a podcast later. Fucking. This is what happened to me. I did open Mike in Tucson last week. And except for one just goofy thing, when Andy played there in October, he did that same bar. And I hosted the thing I wasn't on the bill but I'll host it because I'm hammered

hold on you were emphatic that you didn't want anyone to know about it because I'm like oh great what time you want to drive I'll drive the Suburban no this is October oh this time I went back yeah since July I have not been on stage you hosted the other one too? Yeah I hosted that one

I just went to watch Andy And Mamu and Joey And uh So I have I just pulled her back in She was trying to inch back That's alright you can go Just what?

So uh I went to open mic, didn't tell fucking anyone except Chaley in case Bingo panicked. Like, he's doing. I'm gone. I'm fucking writing in a hotel. And I went up and then I got talked into hosting again. So, like, all right. I can break up, like, old material, I can break up like old material, which I did when Andy was there.

I was just doing material. I know, but I can break it up into chunks. This is a set I put together over two days in a fucking hotel of shit. I don't really know what I'm talking about. And I had just watched funny people. Yeah. You told me about this. And there's a scene like this. Is that the Adam Sandler? Yeah. I had just watched Funny People by Judd Apatow.

Yeah, you told me about this. And there's this scene. Is that the Adam Sandler? Yeah. And Adam Sandler is a fucking successful yet embittered comic. It's one of the few comedy movies that is kind of real to comedy. Like, if you watched Punchline, they don't have fucking lockers in green rooms. This was actually, it worked.

It was a fucking great, but if you watch the unrated version and he's on stage, I'm like, I've done that set. Oh, what? Well, you guys need to pay me to laugh? I've done that. And you go, I wonder if any of this is fucking hijacked from me, well, you guys need to pay me to laugh? I've done that.

And you go, I wonder if any of this is fucking hijacked from me, which I'd be proud. I wouldn't say you stole from me. I'd go, how are you in Peoria to steal this from me? And as I'm thinking, every beat that I think is exactly like me, there's a scene and I have a picture of it. I didn't know how to tweet it and I have it, but I will now. Remind me, Chaley, put it in your notes. What? To tweet the picture.

There's a scene where Adam Sandler is just sitting alone at home with no friends and he's watching his security cameras so I paused on that because above my TV are my security cameras you sent me a picture of that in the text I'm watching that more than the movie

I wanted to tweet at Judd Apatow and he probably wouldn't even fucking know like when someone says you know that bit you used to do? No God that was funny Yeah that was when we were having tea at the

at mornings I think Oh yeah I showed you that was the other morning I showed you It was before I did the open mic at mornings, I think. Oh, yeah, I showed you. That was the other morning I showed you. It was before I did the open mic, but I was in that headspace because I had watched that, and I should fucking go and do open mic like him, and then all of a sudden,

I wrote about this in my book, where you get so involved in what the show is going to be like that you have to write and then remove yourself from what you wrote, knowing that the circumstance that's in your head when you're writing can change. So I, all of a sudden, I'm hosting two actual audience members in the audience. Maybe 10 comics who all unfortunately come in if you're there. Like, I'm going to tear the place down. No, I'm going to suck. I'm going to suck two more audiences. So there were four total.

And this is where I'm conflicted, but I'm going to go the wrong way and tell you. It's the Mint in Tucson on Tuesday nights. Because I don't want you there, but I want more than four. It'd be great even if Mamou, who's the host, was there. She didn't even show up. No, I didn't tell her. I didn't tell her.

She was at my house. I left ahead of them. They were down here. I left ahead of them. They were down here. I left ahead of them to get up to Tucson. Nice. Because I didn't want, yeah, I don't want you to fucking promote this. I have to suck somewhere. I have to suck shit.

And I did. Then I tried to break up the bits I don't even know. How's that feel? And I did. Then I tried to break up the bits I don't even know. You know you're just going to get the whole place is going to be packed now with comics who want to watch you suck shit so they can feel better about themselves. Then maybe I won't go. Maybe I'm not going. Maybe I'm going to start my own room right across the street at the car wash.

Read a phone book as you're set. See how long you get before you get booed off stage. That's a common refrain. Joey Diaz. No, no, no. Joey Diaz, Andy Andrist. Who else?

The refrain is, they could read a phone book and make you laugh. Just because of the way they talk. Yeah, I have to write. I don't say anything funny. It has to be a well-written joke. Yeah, anyone with a good voice, they say that.

Oh, they could read a phone book and I'd still listen to it. Like Chad Shank. He could read a phone book and I'd still- You should. You should read a phone book. Oh, my God. Let's start a GoFundMe. For Chad Shank to read the Bisbee phone book.

Holy shit. That's fucking funny. Put your money where your mouth is, motherfucker. She said you'd listen to me read a phone book. Here it is. All right. I believe that's your podcast. Hey.

Yeah, I got a couple of things. Oh, go ahead. Oh, Death Pool. Death Pool. Let's see. What did I have? Oh, new polls. We need some new poll suggestions.

Hang on. We have to. I got to get back. Death Pool. Want to take a break? No, no, no. Hey, can I get some bourbon for this beer? The crazy guy got a site-wide solo that happens to be in my crazy folder.

So Brody Stevens was 48. That's 52 points just on age. Site-wide is 50. Site-wide is 50. Wow. And he was suicide is 25. And he's born 50. Wow. And he was Suicide is 25. And he's Born American. Born American 25. So

massive hit. Yeah. Massive points on that one. 152. Yeah. So that was... That jumps you up considerably. Yeah. So far this season has been pretty good. We've been getting some good hits. Chad, what did you win by?

Oh, you got last year, you got the porn star, right? I was tied with Shannon until the last minute. And I got, yeah, yeah. What was his fucking, I don't remember his name. The male porn star guy. Yeah. But he was in a bunch of other mainstream. Cannibal corpse fucking eating or something. I don't remember. He was a horror movie porn star guy yeah but he was in a bunch of other like mainstream cannibal corpse fucking eating or so I don't remember he was a horror movie porn star guy but I

was I picked him up just before the end of the year and I won yeah just but that wasn't by 152 it was less than that right yeah oh yeah no it's like maybe like you squeak by would like what 40 or 50 I think I had a site-wide solo and no other bonus so someone just made a huge jump. That's a huge hit to have that. Yeah. First thing is we need

more polls from our players that you can suggest to us. You can message us at Stanhope CDP or Mark. Mark is one of the code monkeys. He's dscdpadmin. You can message us

there with poll ideas and we'll post them on the webpage that people can vote on. Is this person a celebrity or not? Or this type of person a celebrity or not? That kind of thing. Because the polls are fucking great. It gives us an idea

of what you guys think of. You and Doug, Shaylee and Doug, you're like, all Playboy Playmates should be celebrities. Well, we posted that poll. Centerfold. Playmates. We were

all arguing on that. We already did that poll a year and a half ago or something. And it got voted down like 70-30. Really? Yeah. So that tells you... How they're wrong. How they're fucking wrong.

Exactly. Well, that's the thing. Shank and I are like on the other side of it. So we need polls from people. A lot of broads show their boobs in public. You can't be famous just for that. But the centerfold is the gem of the magazine. Name the last one.

It doesn't matter. Then they'll fade off into obscurity. Well, are they a celebrity? Did we already have this on here? They were for one month. They were for two and a half minutes. The other thing is, and this is how bad I am at life because I keep

forgetting to bring this up. Two years ago, I think it was in 2017, we started this. Mark and I, CodeMonkey, he's like, yeah, let's do a Keith Richards kind of theme thing.

I keep forgetting to bring it up. Every year, we started in 17, Yeah, let's do a Keith Richards kind of point. Yeah, theme thing. And I keep forgetting to bring it up. Every year, we started in 17. Every year he makes it. If you pick Keith Richards, it doubles in points. Well, it started out with 10 in 2017. Then it's 20 points. Now this year it's 30 points. So it's going to accrue every 10 points.

So I'm just going to pick him now and it's going to rob me of one of my points is what you're saying. You have to make the decision whether you want to sacrifice one of your slots. But after six years? Yeah. Pay off. Exactly. It's a payoff. So Keith Richards is worth now 30 points plus any

other bonus. He owes these or whatever. We're trying to make it fun. It's so much fun. When I go whatever, but I'm just saying. We're trying to make it fun. It's so much fun. When I go to England, I'm going to try to do maybe once or twice a month a YouTube stream, just a little clip on YouTube

as a Death Pool update, a video stream, because we've got the Death Pool channel. It's Doug Stanhope's Celebrity Death Pool. Got that channel, follow it,

and then I'll start doing updates. Hack Oddity's got a camera and mics already. We're going to start doing a little news update on celebrities and shit like that. Stay tuned when I get there.

I'm going to be depressed. Do they have the internet over there? Not much. It's dial-up. You have to get on the hill Do they have the internet over there? Not much. Some places. It's dial-up, but, you know. You have to get on the hill that looks over Nottingham. Climbing up on Nottingham Hill. All right, that was a podcast. No, hold on.

I got to mention Alaska Before You Die Comedy Festival coming up April 2nd to the 7th. Alaska Before You Die Comedy Festival coming up April 2nd to the 7th. Kyle Kinane, Derek Sheen, Brett Erickson, and Andy Andrus are the feature comics. 44 other comics from all of the Lore 48. But the ones I want to go see are John Norris, Kyle Farrell, Matt Bergoon, Chris Coleman, George Faust, and yes, Matt Collins will all be performing on a bunch of... Who? Cass isn't on the thing. She's putting the whole thing together.

I hope she's on it. But yeah. Yeah. Chaley doesn't do time when he's road managing. That's true. And she's pretty stressed on this. I thought we were going to do this in the thank yous that we're going to... And the commercials that we put in after the fact.

Oh, this is going out on Wednesday. So... I know. But I thought you were supposed to do all the fucking commercials no no we're doing those separate yeah but it was supposed to be before the podcast you can't you ruin everything i hate when my parents fight i hate when my parents before the podcast you said oh i'm glad we didn't do that but now you fucking jumped my shit yeah i almost jumped your shit earlier but i stopped myself because you do so much work around here, Chaley,

and I was going to give you shit for it because that's what I do. But you're a gentleman and you waited until the podcast. Until the end of the podcast. And that's the end of the podcast. That's it. All right. Rewind to the commercials and you'll hear all the thank yous. Again. Bingo and Joby, can you just screw over just a little bit so I can get chat over just a little bit more?

Yeah. Oh, thank you. I'm better looking if you only see half of me. I know. There you go. Perfect. Great, great, great. Your hat's great too because it's blocking some of the sun.

Okay. I thought you were going to say because it's blocking some of the sun. Okay. I thought you were going to say because it's blocking Gump. No, he's in there. I'll have to pixelate that.