The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #418: When Will Twitter Come To It's Senses?

Episode Date: November 28, 2020

Doug can’t believe what Twitter is up to and discusses it with Kristine Levine and Chad Shank. Also, Doug details his upcoming 40 days of No Smoking and some drinking, Nov 27, 2020 to Jan 5, 2021.Re-Follow Brendon Walsh on Twitter - @atBrendonWalshDoug's new book, "No Encore For The Donkey" available exclusively at Audible.com - https://amzn.to/31uwvO0Check Out Doug's Weekly eBay Yard Sale listing - https://www.ebay.com/usr/stanhope_podcast?_trksid=p2047675.l2559Recorded Nov. 24th, 2020 at the New FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Kristine Levine (@kristinelevine), Chad Shank (@hdfatty), Tracey (@egglester) and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know.LINKS -This episode is sponsored by Skyrizi - Ask your Doctor of Health Care Professional if Skyrizi is right for you. https://www.skyrizi.com/Check out “Young Doug Stanhope Set - Stand up Comedy (1997)” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymRztffvk4U&t=6s“Doug Stanhope, Kristine Levine lead rally to save Bisbee animal shelter” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLoxGJgdCwA&t=3sDontae to the Bisbee Animal Shelter - https://www.bisbeefriends.org/Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantIntermission Song - Ship by Hana Noda (Copyright © Epidemic Sound)Audio of Doug Stanhope 1997 from YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymRztffvk4U&t=6sPhoto Credit - Brian HenniganSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast you know every year uh whenever the kids were growing up at christ time, the radio station in Sierra Vista had a Bob Rivers type fucking thing. Twisted tunes. Yeah, where if you could make up a Christmas song and sing it on the radio, and the winner would get $100. And I would win every single year. For five years in a row, I would call because I would do what we just did right now. Come up with a theme.

That's the easiest thing in the world to do is write song parodies. Oh, it's the best. Oh. Oh. Well, that just kind of ruined the whole podcast. Why? Recording it. We were going fucking swimmingly.

I thought that's why he did that. So he knew we were recording. I wasn't looking, yeah. I was, so I was, I'm a little bit high, but I was thinking, I've been, I've thought that Trump has kept Twitter alive for four years longer than it would have been everyone's on fucking Instagram or something else.

Now that fucking Trump is actually leaving, do you think fucking Twitter is going to go the way of MySpace? Yes. I'm fucking terrified of that. I hope not. That's where I have all my- All your stuff? My stuff.

My Monday motivations. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, I had a really good My All your stuff? My stuff. I put my Monday motivations in there. Well, I had a really good MySpace page going. No shit. Get used to it. I wasn't into it during that. I had sparkles and a whole page. I had a song. God damn.

Fucking top eight. Yeah. MySpace was trending not long ago, and it was like the day after i tweeted something about i fucking wish myspace was back or oh and then the next day like didn't someone like buy it or i don't know why it was trending but everyone when i clicked on that hashtag was talking about i want myspace back everybody misses myspace yeah it was great. Yeah, make fucking social media great again. Now that Trump is gone and Twitter is irrelevant. I did see a thing on Twitter where I guess all the Trump people went over to Parler.

Oh, yeah. And then I saw this morning in the news that like right in Trump for Georgia was like a hashtag trending on Twitter. Yeah. But Parler wouldn't allow it. So all the Trump people had to go back to Facebook and Twitter to use their hashtag. I have to think this. I don't know how true it was, but it was funny. It was true.

And I even signed up for Parler just to go watch all the dumb. Erickson did too. Oh, my God. It's so great. I haven't dove in to talk to anybody yet, but here's what I'm gathering so far. Number one, everybody's a pedophile. Everybody's a kid fucker.

If they knew how truly unusual it is to want to fuck kids. I mean, I don't know why they think it's like everybody, but they do. They think everybody's a kid fucker. And Trump for real uh have the election stolen from him that's just straight up they're not fucking around they totally believe it and they're all like i want to go larping and pretend to be a soldier and kick people's asses i'm gonna get my amalek rifle it's not a assault rifle it's just fucking crazy uh the fact that brendan walsh got kicked off of

fucking twitter like all right that's a fucking last straw he's my favorite part of twitter oh he did for what wow well because he's verified so you can change your screen name. It's still at Brendan Walsh. Right. But you can change it to say Donald Trump Jr., which is what he did and was tweeting as Donald Trump Jr. He had the same profile. As in the checkmark. He had the same profile pictures, Donald Trump Jr., said Donald Trump Jr. in the checkmark. It was funny.

That's great. Yeah. And he was posting. But a bunch of people do that. I think it's just he got too, you know, too much recognition. Well, you can't pretend to be, you can't pretend to be someone else. Yeah. Like, he, you know, puts up fucking governor elect or whatever, Brendan Walsh.

But he did pretend to be someone else. He did break the terms of service. But come on, Twitter. Yeah. You're fucking, you better. Yeah, you better fucking keep the mainstays that keep us on Twitter. Yeah. You're fucking, you better, yeah, you better fucking keep the mainstays that keep us on Twitter now that fucking

no one gives a fuck about Trump every day. State Brennan Walsher, we're all going to parlor too. Damn it. Let's start our own social network. I still want to fucking

come up with something. I want our own goddamn sponsor. I want to have something we can sell. Like, I want to have something we can sell. I want to have our own product. Not just merch. I mean, thanks for buying the merch, but...

Well, like Kiss Coffins? Can we make Stanhope Coffins with her spitball in here? Like a termite coffin. Yeah, a termite coffin. I like it. Hey, this is Christine Levine, by the way, and Chad Shank in studio. Socially distanced. Yeah.

Kind of. Good enough. We're not touching each other. No. We used to make out all the time. Not now. Yeah. Oh, well.

No more spitting in each other's mouths. We're emotionally distant. Didn't that keep counts? Yeah, I feel like that. I feel like that really good. Yep. Oh, well. No more spitting in each other's mouths. We're emotionally distant, and that counts. Yeah, I feel like that. I feel like that really good. We made neighbor Dave cry. We cleaned his house. Really? Yeah.

Neighbor Dave's a man of a girth that, as he ages. Oh, yeah. He's 68. What? Really? Yeah. He's 60 fucking 8 years old. Oh, yeah. He's 68. What? Really? Yeah. He's 60 fucking 8 years old. Oh, that gives me hope. Good. So he's told me about his house is in

disarray for a while. Oh, his bachelor, yeah. Oh, yeah. And, you know, he doesn't get around well. Right. And I just watched a 7 and a half hour fucking hoarders binge. And then, I don't know, I was high the other night and I go,

fucking, we should clean neighbor Dave's house. And so I walked the dog and I stopped by and I said, hey, the only answer to this question is yes, but we're going to come in and clean your house. Do you want Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday? Wow. And he said, Tuesday. Tuesday's good.

Nice. Whoa. Yeah, then he cried a little bit. Whoa. Yeah. He had dishes. He told me if I got there Friday, he still had dishes. Today's Tuesday. Yeah.

If I had been there Friday, he still had dishes in his kitchen from last Thanksgiving. Oh, my God. And it wasn't bad. I was expecting the fucking worst. But it was, yeah, he's not a hoarder. Right. He's just like- Messy.

Too fat to fucking clean up. Or you just really motivated him to clean up before Tuesday. That's what I was going to ask. Do you think he cleaned up before Tuesday? He was, yeah. No, he was fucking wiped from pre-cleaning. God. That's what my mom used to do.

She used to clean before the maid came over. Because my mom was getting on in years, and she couldn't do the blinds and stuff. But then I'm like, what are you doing? That's what she's going to do. We can't be messy when she comes over. I don't get it. When we started doing the dart nights on the Twitch streams, that was one of the things one of us brought up,

and then we all agreed that we had the same conversation. but we all liked it because it motivated us to clean up make ourselves presentable for company oh man when i watch hoarders i like just even recently i was just watched a few episodes and all of a sudden i was just like, Josh! We gotta do some shit! We gotta get these boxes out! It's so motivating. It was so crazy. See, I have the opposite effect. No, Josh was like, Hoarder's got you spooked, Mom? Are you okay? They're freaking you out. Yes. It does, really? Yeah.

I'm laying on the couch watching it and I'm like, that lady's shitting on the floor. I'm not even remotely close to that, man. I got a long ways to go. See, that's why I watch Intervention. It's a different effect of a save. I get that. But it's so satisfying to watch at the end of a hoarder's.

It's on Netflix now. It's impossible to watch if you have commercials. Yeah, you can't. And once you get in the rhythm, you know when to fast forward, when the fucking passive aggressive lady is down talking to the hoarder yes uh uh for you about your anxiety level and yeah oh no at the end where they show like the sped up footage of all the like what it was and quickly being cleaned up and that's if, yeah, it's like a mental dump.

So, yeah, I was all excited to do Neighbor Dave's. We didn't get it. He tapped out before we got to the bedroom. But I'm going to go back tomorrow. Well, it's been a long time since you've had a mother situation to handle. So I figure you get a little itchy for that. Well, I like it. Like, I don't want to drive to Sierra Vista.

But if I'm driving someone else's car all of a sudden like we fucking morgan murphy's got her fucking land rover here yeah i'll take that it's fun to drive so to clean someone else's house it's kind of yeah it's kind of fun she's been cleaning my own fucking house i guess i recommend if you're really a lazy person find you a really good group of friends because all my friends came over to my house and I told them, I've got all this fencing material that I bought like eight years ago. I put up half the fence and then the rest of it's just in my barn. Right.

All of them immediately, hey, we should just have a party over here and get drunk and just put up your fence. I'm like, no, I don't want you guys to put up my fence. I was just telling you what a piece of shit I am. I was just making conversation, guys. But they did it, right? No. No? Well, this was just recently you what a piece of shit I am. I was just making conversation, guys. But they did it, right? No. No? Well, this was just recently that this conversation happened.

They're going to. And Joby just brought it up when we were over there again last week. Oh, it will happen. We didn't do that, but I'm the one being like, I'll put up my own fence. Shame me into it, I guess. No, you know what? They're going to have an intervention with you and be like,

Chad, Shank, what's your anxiety level when you look at this fencing material that you had for eight years? You're going to have to let it go. We're going to put up your fence. I feel like Tom Sawyer making everybody else fucking whitewash my fence while I sit here. Was it Tom Sawyer or was it Huck Finn? Huck Finn.

It was Tom Sawyer. I thought Huck Finn was the crafty one no it was he's right it was Tom Sawyer it's the only part of the book I read Tom was supposed to whitewash and then his auntie beat him anyway because she knew he was up to no good he did something bad

are you high because you've been making me laugh since you've been laughing for seemingly no reason. I don't know. We're being funny. Well, you are. She hangs out with me most of the time. She has low standards.

So funny. Someone sent a perfectly timed cutout of Michael Biehn since the last podcast. Oh, you're a fucking moron. Oh, my God. Derek just spilled a goddamn cocktail. Now you have to mop the entire property. What a fucking moron. Even the driveway. I'm glad to know. Even the driveway.

Glad to know that's the penalty. So someone sent a Michael Biehn cutout of him probably mid-80s. He's probably like 22 years old. Oh, he's so sexy. Yeah, open shirt. That's Michael Biehn? Yeah. And he came from Monday Night Football.

Him and Jennifer came from Monday Night Football, and that showed up right before they showed up. So I had a Michael Biehn cutout sitting in his chair. Perfectly tied. And most of these cutouts, I keep sending them. 212 Van Dyke Street, Bisbee, Arizona. 8-5-6-0-3. Send it to us. I think we got almost like 30 now.

I tweeted out on Sunday. I tweeted. I just sent them out all over the fucking compound. Every chair here was taken up with cutouts. Every place where you can sit. Wow. Still got room, too. So you won't miss it if I walk off with the Bean one here.

I think we'll miss Bean. You guys can have the real one and I'll just make do with Stiffy. Is that what you call it? His cutout slept in my bed last night. When they left I texted him pictures of me

in bed with Michael Beans cut out. It's very Johnny Depp-esque. Oh, yeah, for sure. Tracy said it looks like a Tiger Beat or a Teen Beat photo back in the day, and he said, I was in those magazines back in the day. I mean,

somebody was trying to make him a Chucky or something. Sean Cassidy. How old am I? Sean Cassidy, for make him a Chucky or something. Sean Cassidy. How old am I? Oh, Sean Cassidy, for sure. I have to switch out. The actual fans that send cutouts of themselves, I have to tweet a different one in bed with me every night.

I'm going to switch them out. It's just the problem is I'm always drunk when I go to bed, and there's no one there to take a picture. I can sneak over. I think I just have to get drunk enough before everyone that they have to someone has to carry me to bed.

It would be the most interesting way to get COVID, I think. How did he get COVID? He just kept taking shit to bed with them that people sent him in the mail. I don't understand it either. Dangerous. It's highly amusing to me, the cutouts.

They're great. And they're great placeholders so that we don't sit next to each other and we're not all right on top of each other. It's very cool. It's a great idea. Yeah, not inviting people over is also a good idea. Oh, I see. That's what you've done. Different.

Nah, starting Friday, 40 for 40. Thanksgiving is, this Thanksgiving will be my 40th anniversary of drinking and smoking. Oh. Oh, dear. 40 for 40. So I'm going to do 40 days in the hole. 40 days and 40 nights. Whoa.

For my 40 year anniversary. Oh. Knock off this smoking jag that seems to become a habit. Yeah. Well, that's. It can be addicting. Yeah. I mean. Do you smoke anymore? I never know if you smoke. Oh, yeah. I's how it goes. It can be addicting. Yeah, I mean, they say.

Do you smoke anymore? I never know if you smoke. Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, I take a couple of cocktails and then I'll have a cigarette and then I just won't smoke ever. My doctor was like, so how often do you smoke? And I go, I don't know, just sometimes like once every two months or if I have a show, then I'll smoke after a show or something. And he was like, why would you do that? What's wrong with you?

Did you ask him like what's a healthy amount? Yeah. No, I know. He's like, if you don't have to smoke, then why would you ever? And I go, I don't know. I just like – For the flavor, I think is what they say in the ads. It's for the flavor.

Well, it's because I like to punish myself for being good. Listen, I'm not trying to have children either, but I like to get laid once in a while. I mean... I just like to do some bad stuff sometimes. I'm a naughty girl. I'm just bad. I would do cocaine right now. Well, yeah. I mean, I'm not going to go buy it, but I'm going bad. I would do cocaine right now. Well, yeah.

I mean, I'm not going to go buy it, but I'm going to do it. I don't even know where to buy it. Otherwise, I would have some right now, and I would have pulled some out. There we go. Yeah, we had some company recently, and then some cocaine showed up after i had long passed out and i go why would you at that point because i know at what level the festivities were when the cocaine showed up late and then uh and then everyone's all fucking wrecked the next day i go well why would you keep going at that point right it's It's still fun. Well, yeah.

Yeah, I know. And I don't ever, but I'm saying right now, I think I'd probably do cocaine. Maybe I watched a movie where it looked good. Oh, shit. Yeah, the Belushi documentary. Oh, that'll do it. I only. Oh, I mean, it looked delicious.

Yeah. No, I don't know who said that. I said I started watching that and they go, oh, it probably made you want cocaine. But my beef with the, have you seen it? Uh-uh. I didn't even know it was out yet. Yeah, I think it's Showtime. I think everything is Showtime now.

HBO doesn't have dick. It's usually, but they filmed it obviously during COVID because they got all these fucking people. Oh, Dan Aykroyd and Lorne Michaels and all these people are going to tell you about – but it's all by phone. Some of them sound like they're fucking on a speakerphone in traffic or something. It's not – the people aren't there. And I'm like, I don't think that – if I knew that going in't i only watched the first like 20 minutes or 25 minutes and then had to podcast or something why didn't they just make it a podcast if it's they're not even on zoom or anything like geez it's it is showtime it's it's just called belushi and

if i just looked at this and i saw all the people that were going to be in it that'd be awesome but you said they're all on the phone? For the first 20 minutes or so, they're all on the phone. On the screen while they're talking. On the phone. Carrie Fisher, Dan Aykroyd, Jim Belushi, Harold Ravis.

Carrie Fisher? Archive footage. Candice Bergen, John Landis, Penny Marshall also, archive footage. Ivan Reitman, Candice Bergen John Landis Penny Marshall also our good footage Ivan Reitman Lorne Michaels

yeah I mean that'd be awesome if they were talking to him yeah there's some animation and shit I couldn't get into it I was not in the

right head space you needed cocaine yeah yeah yeah I've been watching the wrong things in the morning not good Yeah, I've been watching the wrong things in the morning.

Not good. Well, fucking Michael Biehn, I asked him, what's your favorite movie that you did that no one really saw that didn't, and he said The Divide, and I found it, recorded it, and it was 8 o'clock in the morning, and it's post-ocalyptic they rape rosanna arquette to death well hello like how you watch fucking kvoa morning weather with shay sorenson i wake up that smooth entry into the world i try not to even get on twitter till after my first cigarette in the afternoon and now yeah that was a bad fucking start to a day. I just found out that your friend Michael is in

the movie that I love, The Abyss. I didn't know that that was him. I love that movie. It's a good one. It's one of my favorites. I love it because everybody hated it, being on it. Making the movie, it was miserable. Everybody has said

like Ed Harris said how much he thought he was going to die. And some of the actors won't even talk about it anymore. I mean, because all of the technology was new and it was all filmed underwater. And everybody was miserable. And I'm like, man, that's good filmmaking. Yeah, I got to watch that again. Everybody hates it. I fucking love The Abyss.

It has something to do with movies on the water or underwater. It's plagued with problems. Oh. It's just being on a movie set anyway is just waiting and waiting and waiting. Yeah, all the time. And then in Waterworld. Kids, dogs, and water. Well, I was going to say, it would never work with kids or animals.

It could be or on the water. Because my uncle worked on Waterworld in Hawaii. I think we all learned that cliche about kids, dogs, and water was Waterworld. But the problem is, I guess, with The Abyss was that, what I read anyway, Michael could probably tell you more about it, obviously. I don't know. Maybe he doesn't remember. I blocked it out.

But just that it was all, because James Cameron is kind of a dick and a perfectionist, so he wanted to reshoot everything all the time. And all of the technology was new that they were using because nobody had ever done this before. Anyway, so I guess it was really hard to film and I was just like fascinated with it. So I have the director's cut or the special edition. I have the regular one. I have it like on my DVR so I can watch it when I'm folding laundry. And it was so funny. I was like, oh, my God, that's coffee.

What? Doug's best friend is coffee. You're bestie. I'm just kidding. The character coffee. Yeah, this is Michael. Oh, okay. Sorry, I'm.

Uh-huh. Yeah. I was drifting there. But he's like, he gets the shakes and he turns into a bad guy and he wants to nuke everything and kill the aliens. He's still in character then. The shakes have not left that's great he's still got the bins but only their vodka no he doesn't drink no that's he does not drink anymore i think i wanted to find out more too but it was the first time i had hung out here when they were over here but uh jennifer his wife when

they were you guys were all talking about that said that uh he still defends his character as not a bad guy totally in that movie oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i think that would be an interesting story oh he is a very passionate fucking guy he's still hung up on tombstone shit. Really? Oh, yeah. He's still trying to find his fucking, what's his name's grave? Ike Clanton's grave. Ike Clanton.

Wants to get him buried in Butthill. Goddamn it. We had so much fucking fun. Because he's not buried in Butthill. We laughed so fucking hard last night. Yeah, that was really hilarious. He literally fell out of his chair at some point. Onto the ground.

What happened? Just laughing. We were just. Oh. You know, when people make you funny. Yeah. Like, I don't have to be funny. That was always like, you know, something I developed.

But once I didn't need it. And then you're trying to impress some dude. Yeah. You go, oh. And he's easily impressed. Oh, that's nice. It's like tickling a toddler. He just falls over with his big head. That's cute. That's adorable. And that's nice it's like tickling a toddler he just falls over

and that oversimplifies it too because he's a funny guy and he's fun and his wife Jennifer they both have good stories and they're really nice but it's I think Sam said it on the podcast is that sometimes you have to realize

that he's not as fucked up as you are. We're all fucked up. Oh, not you. You seem fucked up as I do, though. We were just saying that. Yeah, he's like that. There's very few non drinkers that you can drink around and feel like you're getting drunk together. No, it's like with.

feel like you're getting drunk together. No, it's like with, and that's why I don't like people who don't drink because I'm always feeling like I have to breastfeed them or take care of them or just somehow be like, do you need something? What do you? How do you have fun? Just keep apologizing.

Sorry. I don't know how to host if you're not going to do it my way. That's right. You're going to have to go at some point. We're going to make it weird for you. Yeah. No, he's absolutely the opposite. I saw him at Farmer's Market on Saturday, which is

not my best time to be social. And that's why I love the masks. Sunglasses, masks. Nice. Put a hat on. No one knows who the fuck you are. But I saw him and uh he had just done the podcast the podcast had just come out that he was on and he said i listened to that and you know what that guy chad

he goes he doesn't say much but what what he he says, he's the funniest part of the show. I go, yeah, well, everyone knows that. That's why he gets paid the big bucks. He goes, but I wasn't listening. Yeah. And we had evidently said that at the top of the podcast, how we never really kind of remember what we said because we're all in our own heads trying to think of what to say next. Yeah. But then Bean explained it to me as though you'd never said it

he goes yeah i guess i just realized it yeah and then he did i tell you how he remembers your name he says or doesn't remember my name he goes i i know i i had to remember his name because he's part of the podcast. So I thought, Chad, Chad, Chad Everett, Chrissy Everett, tennis player, Chrissy Everett, Chad. And then the next day, he's saying this. And then the next day, I'm like, Chrissy Everett, what does that even mean? Yeah. Why wouldn't you go with Shank? Yeah. That's the easy mnemonic kind of thing you could-

You did a prison movie. Yeah. Makes sense. Are you sure he doesn't drink? He used to. Oh, yeah. I smoked tons of weed. That's his line.

When did you quit drinking? I think it was somewhere between my stroke and my heart- Heart attack? Not heart attack. Heart surgery. That'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm attack. Heart surgery. That'll do it. I'm waiting. I'll wait until it's my

turn too. No need to act like you're at rock bottom when you still have room to go. That's right. There's still room to swim around right here where I am. Linda Allen sent me cat toys. Thank you.

Meatwig doesn't play with toys. I was going to give them to thrift store. But no, Meatwig showed up and started eating the fuck out of those cat toys. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, he usually likes live cat toys. Exactly. Like birds. Full birds.

Yeah, like hawks or whatever. And those birds were so fucking annoying today. I was trying to have a nice fucking simple cigarette out on the patio, and they're chirping and shit. Yeah, they're out today. Meatwig was looking up in the tree and then went back to the toy. I'm like, no, get the fucking real bird first. Friends of Bisbee.

Oh, yeah. Christine, did you see we made the paper no i didn't yes we made the both papers whoa how did we do that oh save our shelter for the friends of bisbee animal shelter they had a rally wow yeah yeah fucked up our football sunday yeah Yeah. Did we save the shelter or not? What happened? Good job, guys. I heard you just got some cats murdered. Yeah, I don't know what happened. Somebody retaliated. Really?

No, you're kidding. No, I'm not kidding at all. Shut up. You don't know about that? No. Yeah, so we did this. It was last Sunday. They do the, I don't even know the politics behind it,

but they were going to pull funding from the friends of Bisbee, no kill animal shelter that everybody loves. And more people donate to than funds they get from the city. They get more private funds anyway. So for some fucked up, you know, you forget to dot the eye on a thing reason. They're pulling the funding. So Christine and I went down to this rally

downtown and had a few funny words for the people and then went right back to football. And then the next day, someone left a fucking pet carrier with three dead

cats at the fucking animal shelter. And from what I heard, they were wet. They drowned them? Yeah. They weren't in the crick.

Did we do DNA on the cat carrier? No, the fucking sheriff. This is ongoing. I don't know. I should have. If I knew this was going to come up, I would have called someone and got some details. But evidently, the fucking it was the sheriff's department that handled it. They immediately destroyed the fucking cat carrier.

They they're not going to do fucking forensics and look for fingerprints. Why not? But they have a picture of it. And it was like a pink cat carrier with duct tape on it. Somebody knows who that fucking belonged to. You're right. And someone, I guess on Facebook,

because I had to have the maid fucking read it to me because she told me about it. I'm not on Facebook. So she's like showing me the pictures and reading. We have a good idea of who it is. I'm like, well, fucking drop a name somewhere. Right. Let's know right now.

I want to know. I know. I was fucking all angry. Damn it. And all these fantasies of Chad Shank doing all these horrible things while I sat in bed. On our signal, we unleash hell. That was how I found out about it. Somebody tagged me in a Facebook post.

It was like, sounds like a dropper. And there's like a reward for something. I was like, yeah, I would do that for free. I would not want a reward for that. That reward is anonymous. Yes. An anonymous person put up that reward. Oh, my fucking God. So someone did. She has anonymous person put up that reward. Oh my fucking God.

So someone did. She has a thousand dollar reward. Wow. And a picture of the carrier on the Bisbee community website. Yeah, I think that's right. So you guys speaking at the rally

that was on Sunday. Someone did post footage of both you guys speaking. Oh, great. On YouTube. Look for Doug Stadlup, Christine Levine, Lead Rally to Save Bisbee Animal Shelter. Some lone protester, but they had really good footage.

Because I had just one spot and I go, well, I'm not going to put something in there. I think you felt like me. I left there going, did I suck? Because I haven't been on stage in forever. And it wasn't a stage. It was on the steps of a park.

And I felt like, did they expect more? I felt like I just. It seemed like Emily was happy. But I don't think she has high standards. How can you tell? They have a fucking mask on. You can't tell if they're smiling. That's true. But she was just nice. But then, yeah, you're right. I have no idea. I don't think she has high standards. How can you tell? They have a fucking mask on. You can't tell if they're smiling. That's true.

But she was just nice. But then, yeah, you're right. I have no idea. I don't know if we did a good job or not. I watched it online, and I thought you guys did great for what it was. I mean, right. If it was longer, it would have been too much. Yeah.

I thought that it was perfect. I did go back, and I actually watched it when I was drunk. And you were preaching to the choir. How much can you fucking say to the people that are already, you know? That's true. Not if you don't know that that's a choir. If you, you know,

never leave your house, you go, maybe everyone hates me in this town. I don't fucking know. Everybody there was on board. Christine made fun of their uniform. Oh, that was so fucking funny. Everybody there was on board. Christine made fun of their uniforms. Oh, that was so fucking funny. You didn't even buy those for this occasion.

Yeah. Oh, that's great. You just have them? Yeah. Everyone's dressed up in animal onesies. And you go, you didn't even shop for that today. That's something you just had. That was so fucking good.

That was great yeah so i'll put the link in the show notes yeah yeah it's one bit it's one yeah if you're a lone protester is the uh i think it must be uh something to do with kelly because there's other things oh and there's also a video of kelly kelly who's the president of friends of bisbee animal shelter so lone protester also has an explanation video of what's going on with the city and the animal shelters. All right, good. If you want to get some information on that, it'll be in the show notes.

Yeah, chuck a few bucks that way. I know you're probably a bit skint, a bit thin, but if you're not and you're drunk listening to this, chuck some money at Friends of Bisbee Animal Shelter. Because otherwise, cats end up dead. Let's fucking hire a guy. Start a GoFundMe to find whoever put those fucking dead kittens at the shelter. Yeah.

It can't cost very much to hire a detective or something to get to the bottom of it. And a carrier stands out. Yeah. Bright pink with fucking duck teeth on it. Let's start a detective agency. How about I just ask Castle Rock Kenny and then he tells me and I go beat up whoever did it. That's it. I got a plan.

There you go. We'll start with that. God damn. Where? What town is this? I can't believe somebody would. I mean, I know that was the whole thing. It's just so fucked up.

I was saying that in the thing that I'm promoting violence. Since we're running unopposed, everyone loves the Beesbee Animal Shelter. Well, one fucking. Right. Yeah, I fucking cat. Right. I don't think they were at the rally, though. But what? I don't know what message they were sending. There's so many cats that I can just come up with three and kill them right now.

That's how big of a cat problem we have. I'm not sure exactly what the- I fucking flipped out. Killing cats is fucking cool. Fuck you guys. I'm not sure exactly what the what i fucking killing cats is fucking cool fuck you guys like i'm not sure what the entire message i love doing this i flipped out initially when she was telling me this shit and i have all these you know fantasies in my head of uh and then the next two people i talked to said well maybe someone just dropped off the because they found dead kittens and they didn't

know what to do with them no but when the second person said that i went maybe i'm like off the handle here like this is no that doesn't make sense no no no yeah and i go what no animal shelter people would know if this happens all the time they would go yeah they wouldn't post it on facebook in the community fucking group. Yeah. Right. But for a minute, I went, maybe I just killed a guy in my head that didn't deserve it. Maybe they heard that it was going to possibly switch over to a kill shelter, and that was their resume. They're like, look, I can help.

Speaks for itself. I'm right here. I can do this job. Kill for the job you want to get. Look at this shitty equipment I have. Imagine how good I could do with your equipment. God. Follow the burlap.

Is it? Do they have a burlap. Is it? Did they have a burlap? No, I'm just saying that's the cliche of drowning cats in a burlap sack. Yeah, that bothered me quite a bit. Yeah, that's fucked up. Disgusting. Then it goes away. Yeah.

We should have another rally, though, and just see if it happens again set a trap yeah yeah this is sounding more like an episode of moonlighting I love it I can't remember the reference hey why did you want me to write down sacks underpants Random reference.

Hey, why did you want me to write down Saks Underpants? Oh, because that's a fucking case of Saks Underpants. Saks Underpants saw where I tweeted a picture of Barnabas the dog. If you are following the Barnabas story, he's doing fine. He's been relocated to a great home in Phoenix with a couple other German shepherds he plays with and they send me videos. But when I got him neutered, I put a

pair of old Saks underpants that I burned out the waistband on and I cut out a tail hole. And so I tweeted a picture and Saks underpants thankfully noticed and said, hey, we're going to send you some picture and sax underpants thankfully noticed and said hey we're gonna send you some free sax underpants tell us what size and style i said surprise me on the style sizes small and medium because i forgot chad shank i was about to say did they say

do i just have to keep paying hundreds of dollars for my underwear well i still got that now that's all i wear so jenny keeps buying them for me size or do I just have to keep paying hundreds of dollars for my underwear? Because now that's all I wear. So Jenny keeps buying them for me. Well, yeah, I forgot to order the double XLs. Is that your size? I have this. I don't know.

I'm sure he's a large. Jenny said yes. Large. Is it XL? Oh. I would assume that... She knows. She orders them.

I would assume that you're a large because the gut is not where you wear your fucking pants. Right. Right. My waist is still fairly thin. My gut just hangs over it. 40? 38 or 40?

I think a 40 now. Yeah, 38 until just this past year. Now a 40. All right. Yeah. Been a long time since we've been in the thrift stores there, Chaley. Pretty good. A carnival bar girl over there.

Yep. I can't guess your weight, but size I could do better at. I'm going to go piss and stuff. I feel pretty good. I feel like I'm really boring on this, but I'm still smiling. I don't care. I didn't think it was boring. I've been having a good time.

Yeah, that's why I shouldn't have said it out loud, because now the listener has that in their head. They were probably bored. Easily fucking led. I'm saving the good shit for after I piss. Oh, are we taking a break? Well, no. You guys can keep talking.

That's not really the way it works, but we can take a break. We do take breaks. I piss really quick. I know. All right. Empty the tank. Don't just take the top off. I know, but I feel like if we stop, we're going to lose all momentum.

No. I'm going to bring you a bucket. Oh, you know what? A bucket? Oh, wait. We have a slop bucket right there. All right. I'll just go piss.

Just go. Jeez. I'll put some royalty-free music right here. I told the guys on the last week that I'm to the point right now where I think I'm just going to start getting like I'm going to go from a 40 to a 60 and just wear a

above my belly button. You know, like how dudes just, at one point a dude just makes a choice and he's like, fuck this man, I'm never going to be able to do it. Like a 1950s auto teacher. Suspenders.

We're still going, right? No, I just killed the music and we're on. Nice. All right. Well, that fist really killed the momentum. No, I did. I couldn't tell if Chaley's kidding or not. What? We're rolling. Okay, I did. I couldn't tell if Chaley's kidding or not. What?

We're rolling. Okay, you were rolling, though, because I heard all sorts of laughter and frivolity come up when I was out pissing, and I went, I hope he's getting this in the can. No, I put a camera out by the urinal. Hey, if any of us... I don't know what we called the guest house the other night.

I can't remember either. We had a new name for it and evidently it was yeah. Well, if you're ever missing a remote, there's a remote right in the fucking window sill by the pisser. And I thought, how many people can just search for a remote in there

to make shit work? I think maybe I should do some of the 40 for 40 in that house. Yeah. Straighten it out. Yeah. There's Joby's talking about taking the rape trailer. And I hope he does. Yeah.

Yeah. What is that contingent on? Is there we have to paint it and fix something? No. You say, I don't know how much you'd want for it he had some idea and i go like basically nothing just just the idea of it gone is it no one goes in there and we could put one of those like the back lot of the fucking lows you know those shit like the merch house yeah yeah we could put something like that up there that we'd actually use. But so, yeah, Joby balked at free.

Yeah, that's weird. That's a weird thing. He asked me how much, and then I basically said free. I just don't want to be here when someone tries to take that out of you. Well, and we talked about that when he talked about it with me, and I told him, my side-by-side, my Ranger has a hitch on it, and his little tiny thing can pull it right out of here with no problem.

Oh, yeah. My van has a hitch. Easy. He can, well, there's just hardly any room to get it out that corner right there. There's a thing. And we built a fucking lean-to over the top of it to preserve it from the

sun, so now you have to deal with that. Well, see, and that was what I asked him, too, because I said, I thought that something was built around it, and he said, no, it was put in there. You know, so yeah, it would... The thing over it was built over it. What's that called, Chaley? You know the name for everything?

Well, it's basically like a ramada, is what it is. See, I knew we'd have a word. I would not have come up with Ramada. That was in a crossword puzzle and I had Amada. I wouldn't come up with the R unless it was in the across.

But that was built after the fact and I think it would be tough because I don't know what that thing weighs. And it's got a lot of gravel, so it's hard to really maneuver it. I don't know if we could swing that tongue around with those four posts because it was built there. That was what I was wondering. But, I mean, it's worth doing.

I mean, we're going to have to take down basically the roof over it anyway. Yeah. Joby and I can build a dolly that basically you hook into it and just wheel it by hand. With big inflatable wheels. You and Joby can build anything. Joby could, and I could hand him drinks and stuff. That's how we've done it in the past. Put your fence around it. That's a good system, though.

I think it's tough to want to take something that someone goes, no, you can have it for free. Because I got a free motorhome once. Oh, boy. Yep. Yeah. That thing is fucking. I know it's great.

That thing is very nice. But usually free means there's something wrong with it, or why are they giving this away? I mean, I know I'm talking about him like he's like a stranger. He doesn't know who you are. But I just know that I would never take a free motorhome or a boat. Again. Finally get that.

Again. I bought that Radio Shack sign. It's like the. It's a Radio Shack sign. It sounds explanatory. Yeah, but it's. But it's big. It's like 10 explanatory. Yeah, but it's big. It's like 10 feet long.

Yeah, the kind that would be out on the street. Maybe the sign in front of a Radio Shack. I'm not going to stop trying to do this. Like a Radio Shack sign. Call it a sign or a Radio Shack sign or, hey, is that a Radio Shack sign? Yes. But it's the kind that lights up from the back. Yeah.

So, Joby, I bought that fucking years ago and it's the kind that lights up from the back so Joby I bought that fucking years ago and it's like 12 feet long and it just sat up there on the deck forever because we had nothing to do with it we had no open wall that was wide enough to accommodate and it's plexiglass kind of material with no holes

in it so you can't like nail through it or shatter build a frame for it Joby took it, put it at't nail through it or shatter. Build a frame for it. Fuck it. Joby took it, put it at his house. He's got the perfect size patio. He backlit it with colored lights. So on fucking Swamp Row where he lives, there's a giant fucking colored radio shack sign on the second story.

It's fucking beautiful. And that's where I go to get my batteries now. Have we only knew people that Joby doesn't know? You don't go to Batteries Plus in Tin Town? It would be funny to send people that don't know Joby different hours to knock on his...

Are you open? Is there soldering iron to him? Holding a broken cable. Need help. I remember, I don't know if it's in the digging up mother, but when we lived in Vegas, we had a

yard sale. And then we just started drinking. Then the yard sale stayed out there all weekend long it was fucked we're done with the yard sale but we're not bringing shit in the signs are still up the shit's still in the yard and i remember we were tripping our balls off and this like 12 year old kid like knocked at the door and we all it was my first time tripping actually oh and i panicked we all thought maybe it's the cops nowhere tripping

he's like how much for this briefcase or like what the fuck is this are you a narc and I think we sent him to this circle K to get cigarettes you write him a note in exchange for the

briefcase write him a note and In exchange for the briefcase? Write him a note and give him your ID? Yeah. Just go to the store and get us cigarettes. Yeah, no one cared back then. No. 1988 or 9. Plus he looked older.

He was carrying a briefcase. We had a yard sale here shortly after we moved in. And we didn't know anyone here. And we just had way too much shit. Just get rid of all of it. And it's the end of the night and then you start fucking bartering about I have no time for this and at the end

some family from Mexico came with a fucking Tom Joad fucking truck oh that's my favorite and they're like yeah you have it all for fucking whatever 40 bucks. I don't know.

Like everything. And that guy sat out there. He already had a truck loaded. Fucking Adams family kind of whatever the reference is. And I'm like, I don't know how he's going to get this shit out. And he spent like two hours. I went in and i started making food and i just peek out because i was like i felt guilty not helping him forgiving him all this

shit that he doesn't have and he just kept tying stuff higher and higher onto this pickup truck it was a fucking miracle and i like this Yeah, it was. Fuck. They took everything. What was it? Tom what truck? What does that mean? Tom Jode. What does that mean? You know, you use that a lot.

Grapes of Wrath. I was thinking Grapes of Wrath. Okay. The family that moved out from the Dust Bowl to- Yeah, they had to get grandmother on the fucking- I mixed that up with- Beverly Hillbillies. Oh, yeah.

There you go. Vacation. That's the one. Yeah, vacation, yes. My grandma died. Yeah. The aunt. Was it her aunt?

It was the aunt. I thought he said Tom Jones, and it made sense for some reason. I don't know why. Because I said it with confidence. Tom Jones. Tom Jones? Yeah, one of those. Stuff you learn from Becker.

Becker will say something with absolute absolute confidence and you believe him and you go that didn't even make any sense whatsoever later my mother would i'd go how do you spell this with uh and she'd tell me like and i'd just write it down and then find out later no it's wrong they graded my paper no that was you didn't, I think it's this. You just said exactly what you thought, but as though you're a fucking scholar. There's no cue in particular. She was confident. Yes. And nothing else.

Oh, yeah, you met Mother. Oh, yeah. Did you always, and you just fell for it every time? Yeah, when someone tells you. It's your mother. You're used to her being right. And not only that. According to her.

Even when the teacher says you're wrong on the paper, and then you go ask her again. Well, yeah. Right? I mean, like. Well, I don't know. Look it up. You've got to exhaust every legal option.

Oh, no, Shaylee. Then she'd yell at you. Well, just look it up then next time. I guess so. She had me convinced that her reasoning for having the bunk beds in her living room was a good reason. She said it was because she never knew when people were going to show up or not or needed a place to sleep. And I was like, well, I guess that's true. As I recall, the bunk beds were no place you would put a person to sleep.

It was full of junk. I still, I did venture out. I don't know if I talked about this. I went to Goodwill, Big Lots, and Ross Dress for Less. Why'd you waste it there? The point is I went out shopping once. You did? The first time in fucking eight months. Did you go with Brian? Yeah.

I went with Brian once and Bingo once. They weren't all in the same day. But I go to Big Lots and I still have football party mentality where, oh, I can buy this fucking case of fucking chips and stuff. No, there's only six people here for football spread out to two different places to keep everyone safe.

But still in my head, I'm planning for these parties we don't have. I'm like, oh, yeah, I got the giant thing of fucking goldfish. Crackers. For who? Yeah, they're the ones that have been sitting down there for six months. Anyone want goldfish crackers? I stopped by the other day on Sunday, and Jenny and I stopped and ate at Jimmy's. So I go, well, I don't want to come empty-handed.

I'll bring a Jimmy's sandwich and bring it over. And these guys can cut it up and have a sandwich, you know, to bring. And I get over here and fucking nobody here. This place was dead empty. I was like, throw that sandwich away. I'll see you guys later. I'm not going to be the one clogging up the fucking football. Oh, we love Jimmy's hot dogs.

And that Italian sandwich is fantastic. If you eat it that day, it does not hold up. I just I just had the other half of mine this morning. I had to scoop the veggies out of it and then air fry it and start again. And that was fantastic. Reanimating fucking yesterday's fast food. Fast food, that's a... I pulled all the meat out, cut it up, and then fed it to the dog who was still a bit reticent. Ooh. And then I said, hey, where's that sandwich?

That's a spicy meatball. I don't give you dogs. It had leaked through. It was wrapped in paper and in a paper bag, and it had leaked through all the paper, including the bag. So, you know, the bread is suspect at that point. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's spongy.

The dog did fine. Oh, good. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. I'm glad to know it didn't go to waste. I want to... Oh, fuck. At that place where I...

What? Well, I'm going to admit to some things. Uh-oh. What? I've been eating the devil's food. That's up. No. Devil's food?

Devil's food. Ketchup? No. Ketchup? The fucking Burger King. They have these little breakfast burrito things yeah sausage and bacon giant giant eggs enormous no no not that one no i get the little dollar i thought it was tabasco i it's so much oh worse that's the other one you have not I've always loved green Tabasco but I hate

red Tabasco so much that I will never admit to it so now I'm eating Burger King that Burger King it's such awful food and it lasts for days so I get like six of those burritos for fucking Sunday morning

football in case anyone showed up and I didn't want to cook but they microwave for days I'm gonna call bullshit on that because I'm like why is he walking here with a Burger King because I was in the fun house and it's Sunday it's because it's all we have fucking Burger King is

all we have because Burger King only thrives where there's no competition. And just get. Talk about don't meet your heroes, man. It feels so weird to judge you this way. That's a. I felt like I had to come clean. It's not even a great burger. It's the line I don't like.

The last time I ate Burger King, I was in the drive-thru. And I started eating as soon as I got my food, and I had to park in the parking lot to go have diarrhea from Burger King in the parking lot of Burger King. I have left Safeway, run across the fucking parking lot, leaving my cart half full when a morning shit fucking overtook me, and went, I'm doing this at Burger King. I'm not going to shit at Safeway, a fucking place I revere and I love. That's right.

My family. Don't shit where you eat. Exactly. Literally. Yeah. Discount shits. I got the discount meat from Safeway and the discount shit goes to Burger King.

Fuck Burger King. And I want to know about your Tabasco lies also. It's green Tabasco is different. And they should just take the Tabasco name off of it and go the other Tabasco that's good or something. But yeah, green Tabasco. Ever since Swingers in Hollywood, when I moved, I'd eat at Swingers was this diner, hipstery diner. And I'd get, that's the first time i found green tabasco but fucking red tabasco is the it's a plague on america we get rid of trump we can get rid of tabasco i eat spice spice i don't have any of these problems with this tabasco nonsense well

it's the middle of the country that thinks if they just have red Tabasco nonsense. It's the middle of the country that thinks if they just have red Tabasco at a restaurant, they have hot sauce. No, you don't. You have fucking burning vinegar. It sucks. It's fucking awful. That's what we got. Well, then get another one.

How about if we make it green? Every time I fucking start this war on twitter people go oh yeah get sriracha no sriracha is only good on shrimp tempura sushi it's the only place it's good chalula it's basic it's fucking harmless too much we're gonna be eating at our houses for the rest of our lives anyway, so it's not going to matter. I know. I like that.

The other day I had a video appointment with my VA doctor, and she was talking to me about – I started off, I was asking her, you know, why they wouldn't give me pain medications when they sliced open my taint. And then he showed her the taint live, and she goes, this is a mental health visit. I don't know why you keep putting your taint into the zoom flung poo at my own camera

like ah shit that'll show you I just have to clean that now what but I was you know talking I want to know why you're going to be painful and she's like oh it's because of your marijuana use if you would test clean for marijuana you could get pain medication.

But since you don't, you can't. What? She goes, well, I like the marijuana for you anyway, because I quit taking my psych meds again. Oh, good. Yeah. So she's like, I like the marijuana for you anyway. And I said, yeah.

I said, it works good. And then I combine it with isolation. And it just works perfectly because you can't murder anybody if you're not around anybody. And she goes, well, listen, you can't use isolation as a long-term solution. And I go, do you want to look at the current state of society and rethink your statement, doc? And she goes, I guess you're right. I mean, like we're all headed for isolation. You're just the head of the game.

You're promoting it actively. Good grief. But marijuana is not a painkiller. So, I mean, I don't understand how those cancel each other out. It's ridiculous. Federally illegal, so since the VA. Oh. It's a, I don't understand how those cancel each other out. It's ridiculous. Federally illegal, so since the VA. Oh. It's a, I'm technically.

If you went to a private doctor, then you probably could have gotten some painkillers. Yes. Because they wouldn't give a shit or ask you about your marijuana use. Exactly. Yeah. And then I'd have to pay for them. What you're saying is you need another doctor, one that you might have to go, let's say, shop for.

I'm picking up where you're putting them, but I got a guy. I know, okay? I like the VA. See, it's never a chick. Free medical. Yeah, it's working out, though. Oh, yeah, way better. And your taint's good?

Solid. Oh, thank God. I was so worried about it. Less solid. Yes, I understand. I was so worried about it. That's solid. Hang on. Yes. Yes, I understand. I told you. For the listeners who are on a lot of psych meds, I think you should back up and you went

off your psych meds. It's not a good thing to put out there without some kind of follow-up. You just willy-nilly them? without some kind of follow-up. You just willy-nilly them? I've always gone off my psych meds for my entire career of taking psych meds. That's how I do it. Usually because if you start to feel better,

then you don't think you need psych meds anymore, so you just go taking them. That's usually what happens. That's what I do. Most of the time, it's a side effect. Sometimes they have sexual side effects. They'll make you stop taking them. This one was Jenny finally just told me, hey, this is a fucking horrible medicine for you. It makes you an asshole 100% of the time instead of just part of the time.

Yeah. And I was like, all right, that's fair enough. I'll put taken off. Good enough, yeah. So how long has it been? Six months? It's working out? Both you and Joby have been in really great spirits.

And that drags me down. Or we pretend well when we're in public and we throw up multiple times just before coming over here. Wait, you think I care about your weight? What? Yeah, I can vouch for him. I love you as robust and Rubenesque as you are.

I'm way beyond the losing weight by throwing up stage. I think he meant anxiety. Yeah. Not bulimia. He's not a ballerina. I don't know if we've been weight shaming too much. If I was looking for a shortcut at this point

I'd have to shovel it out You know I always Sometimes I lie in bed And I think about okay if I just cut Myself and get a vacuum I could just do it Like a wet dry I've seen movies people survive way worse

Than that I think about it I could man. I think about it. I could do that. I think about that. Watching Naked and Afraid where people are like, oh, well, I just found a bug, so I feel good now. I haven't eaten in three days, but I just ate

a fucking Madagascar hissing cockroach, and now I have how much food do you I don't, I'm too high. You guys cockroach. And now I have... How much food do you... I don't... I'm too high. You guys keep talking. Every time I talk, I fuck up the show.

I have a plan. I think I do... I kind of do want to do naked and afraid because I'm... Number one, I don't mind being naked. And number two, I don't mind being afraid. It's other people. I've found the same thing.

Yeah. But I could just sit there Like you know how they're always looking for food And doing stuff Well I would just get like I could bring one thing a little mat And then I just sit there like Buddha For 21 days and fuck it

I'm just going to get my heels in Bug spray Just find a spot on the sand or something Grass And then your partner would let you yeah i'll let you eat my toes if you give me some of that bug spray that's a treat like i'm so tired of the fucking bugs but that would be my plan is to just sit there the whole time and then your partner would be like could you just get up and do something

no i'm fine it's naked Afraid like a wicked dated reference? Because I stumbled into one of those the other day and I go, whatever the reference was, I go, oh, that's like 12 years ago. And that's like half of fucking some people's lives. Yeah. No, I saw a live season finale last year. No, they're still doing it. So they're still doing it. And they're doing it in different countries as well.

I've never seen it, so it's not outdated for me. Oh my God, you haven't seen it? I think you'd enjoy it. I just tweeted about watching The Mandalorian yesterday and then people responded and I realized that that was a long time ago. And I'm making jokes that other people made a year ago.

Yeah. rulers of the underpants universe sex ah keep your balls off your legs and such sex underwear don't have sweaty balls was that good? I don't know that's a fucking terrifying consequence of aging and being a comic

yeah it's like at what point am I just I think people know these references, but. Yeah. And then they don't. Yeah. Fucking, we've been here for 15 years. Half of my comedy career, I've lived in Bisbee. Right.

That's crazy to think about. Wow. Like, because the first 15 years were fucking epic nonstop chaos and different shit is happening. And then it's 15 years of this. Uh-huh. You have to leave to go get the epic nonstop. Then you come back home. Stop laughing, Jenny.

This is creeping me out. Speaking of the first 15 years of that, I saw on Twitter that you had retweeted and were engaging with a little baby Stan Hope doing comedy on YouTube. I think it was last week. What? The mullet

YouTube clip that went up. It was like a long set. You fucking high motherfucker. You're the one that retweeted it. That's how I saw it. Oh, I missed it. I retweeted it. That's how I saw it. No way, did he? Yes. Oh, I missed it. I retweeted what? The kid... You. A set of you.

Oh. You doing stand-up. You did? As a kid. Alright, Chaley was on the... You thought the same thing I thought. Someone did a TikTok of a kid doing my set. No, no, no. I saw... Me as a kid. No, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that was fucking great. You were hilarious. I saw you. Me as a kid. No, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that was fucking great.

You were hilarious. I fucking thought that was funny. It made me want to hang out with young Stan. I'm like, oh, what if young me could have hung out with young Stan? That would have been fun. Such a doll baby. I know. It's like fucking young Michael Biehn.

Yeah. He was so cute. Over there all shirtless. He used to wear a little beanie and a trench coat. He was so cute. Oh, this was before that. It was even a little beanie and a trench coat He was so cute Oh this was before that No this was long hair Stanhope Not even mullet This was long hair like 97 or something

Or like early 20s You had to be in your early 20s No no no It was mullet long hair The 11 minute clip I had never seen. I have no idea where that came from. Yeah, how old were you then?

And I watched it. I like half the material I didn't even remember ever doing. You know what I think? I think that one of your fans should get all the different Stan Hopes. Mullet Stan Hope. Long hair Stan Hope. Beanie. Yeah, Beanie Stan Hope. Leisure suit Stanhope, and now Kewpie doll Stanhope.

Little hug Stanhope. Yeah. I love it. Oh, did you see that Brett Brock watercolor? I haven't watched the thing. Oh, I didn't watch the thing either. I mean, who wants to watch some guy paint? It's like four minutes.

It's not long. It's really cool, but the end product is amazing. Too much. If it was four, I might have watched it. Close four it's like four four minutes it's not long really cool but the end product is five too much if it was four i might have watched four something but it's so cute but the end result is beautiful it's really cool yeah i i did retweet it i just didn't watch it i'm just yeah that's it people send me paintings of me and go, I don't know what to do with this other than eBay yard sale. Right, yeah. I don't want to watch you do all that work and then have to eBay yard sale it. Yeah, I like to watch paint mixing videos. To be honest about it.

You don't want to watch somebody make art, but you want to watch somebody mix paint? It's awful. It's terrible. And they just dump it down a drain. I have a trash palette. I'm a terrible person. I also thought Wham was terrible and thought they were never

going to go anywhere. They didn't. They're dead. Well, I mean, but George Michael, to be fair, was quite a talent and I did not see that coming at all. Isn't that pretty? Oh, that's pretty fucking gorg. Greg has revealed Greg has revealed the Brett Brock at all. Isn't that pretty? Oh, that's pretty fucking gorgeous.

Yeah, I just put up the end game of the painting. Yeah, I'd put that up. I'd put that up. I would just recommend dumb shit for you to look at. No. But I'm with you. I couldn't sit through the video either.

I don't know what's wrong with me. And yeah, I will watch paint mixing, but the art part, I just go, maybe I'm jealous. Maybe that's it. Dane Cook had a bit that I laughed at a lot. What? There's a couple of Dane Cook bits. Back when I really didn't like him. Not as a person, as a comic. So when he would make me laugh i'd go but it was about how

impatient societies get he said at some point we're gonna be like put something in the microwave nine seconds i don't have nine seconds i have to be to work in five seconds i don't have nine seconds something to that effect uh that's it yeah I'm a busy lady I think about that a lot like how long is this YouTube video now I can't five minutes and five seconds shave it down edit

right I see I don't want to be fucking catty but I'm going to be. Lauren McCall is a cunt. Faye Dunaway sucks, too. Hennigan is fascinated.

Oh, God damn it. Now I'm going to be more catty and i'm not gonna do that a comic friend of ours uh is infatuated with another comic friend of ours being this complete sociopath and i'm like i don't even really know her and i don't you you're psychotic for being this psychotic about what a fucking poser this other comedian is. He's super concerned about somebody else being a poser. But Hennigan is like that kind of crazy. Yeah.

Our friend down the street there. She has a beef with another lady comic. Okay. Oh. To a point where this is detrimental to your fucking mental health. Oh, yeah. I don't think it's... I think this is just a...

So, Hennigan has this thing with Dane Cook's Twitter page. He's got 2.9 million followers. And Hennigan will just watch when he tweets something how little response any of it gets. Look at this. He tweeted this four hours ago. It's only got four likes and one retweet. He thinks all of his followers are fucking completely phony fucking bots. I think he's right.

But he's definitely right. Like, I look at my own. Yeah. Like 300,000 followers. And yeah. And a good amount of them will retweet. Yeah. You can tell the ratio.

Just respond. Yeah. Like, there's no response to, like, clickbait kind of tweets oh my god that means there's a whole generation of kids that say dane cook who oh my god again dated references yeah like dane cook was the reference of someone to hate it was yeah carrot top was the first guy to hate yeah then you meet him and you go he's the best guy in in the world. He's Scott Thompson. He's not fucking Carrot Top. He's a fucking adorable fucking...

And then it was Larry the Cable Guy. Not anything that fucking Larry the Cable Guy did, but his fans would just shout out, get her done at your show. What does that have... You're yelling someone else's catchphrase just because he was that popular

you wrote a really really great piece about that where like you don't hate Larry the cable guy you hate his fans and the same with totally true yeah I wrote an open letter to Larry the cable guy's fans just kill yourselves yep you suck

mhm and I forget that it was Just kill yourselves. Yep. You suck. Mm-hmm. That's funny. And I forget when Chappelle came around. I'm missing someone. There was another hateable comic. Hmm. But then comedy got good again. Mm-hmm. And then Chappelle, I think, started it started it then louis ck and all these people

and they like okay you can say because everyone that was hey oh mencia was the one that's it yeah and they all said oh they're everyone's just jealous of my success and then when the good guys started getting popular right i remember someone saying yeah you don't see anyone saying oh uh chris rock everyone hates him because of his success no comics like him there's no one against you and uh i don't i don't know if there's any hateable comics out there anymore there's just too many many. I think there's too many channels now. Right. Well, that's why I keep coming back to like, anytime I think I suck, I think the worst comic in the world has fans right now. So I can't be that bad. One time when we were all pretty drunk here, we were talking about this or something close to it.

And we were talking about hateable things. And I had one pop into my head. And then Stan Hope said his name. And I felt so proud of myself for hating the same exact person that Stan Hope hated. Is it a recent one? Yeah. Like a fairly current one? Yeah, I wouldn't say it out loud. But it's popular.

I don't hate any comics anymore. I don't hate any comics anymore. It's so fucking distressing that comics are breaking into camps. There was no reason for it. Comedy is subjective. I mean, not everyone's going to laugh at the same thing every time. I mean, I think everyone's got a light. Doug has lightened up over these, especially these edible months.

Uh-huh. I usually see that. He's watching his own sets from 1997. Oh, it's so fucking good. I don't know who posted that. I couldn't find him either. That night was so fuck i was just alone in the house on the couch with a laptop and both my pets sleeping close by and i go i get the house to myself no one's coming over i don't have to deal with any and i just started drinking whiskey and

watching uh wow tweeting and and then they put up two there were two clips of shit i don't remember ever being filmed and i'm like oh this is like yeah i'm watching old me like not this is 90 like if it sucked i wouldn't have to be embarrassed it's that many years removed from me now. It looks like someone was going through their old VCR tapes. Well, this looks like footage from inside the club. Yeah. Someone at the club. This wasn't someone with a phone.

No, this was before phones. No, that's what I'm saying. It's like these clubs, whether you knew it or not, they were fucking recording all the time. Remember that one in Peoria where I'm like, hey, turn that off. No, I do this all the time. I go, we're not going to start the show until you turn that record off. Look, I do it all the time. I don't care if you do it all the time.

We're not starting the show. And I left. And now he doesn't know what to do because it's time to start the show. And I go back and I go tell Doug. And Doug's like, yeah, fuck it. We're not going to start now he's got now he doesn't know what to do because it's time to start the show and I go back I go tell Doug and Doug's like yeah fuck it we're not we're not gonna start until he's done then he came in hat in hand all right and I'm like okay let me watch you turn it off because I don't fucking trust that guy right and he turned it off you know how much uh I don't miss being on the road yeah how much do you miss being on the road well that's a weird thing because uh i miss being on the road and doing the things that we used to do i don't think we could do that again

so i was gonna say i was gonna say how much do you miss being a prick to people yeah because you really do enjoy it you're so not being a prick but but it's a weird way to put it. I like having a heckler fucking violently removed. Yeah. Without touching. Hands up. I miss going out and being away and then coming home and doing a job and feeling like we did a good job. I miss that. I don't think it's gonna happen again i really oh no not the road and merch and all that stuff that's all until until something drastically changes i don't think it'd be comfortable to send

a performer to a merch table it's fucking just doesn't make sense that part i don't care the mindset of from march to now november the mindset like i came home i think the most peaceful i've been in years was the 14-day quarantine when i get home where everyone was terrified to even come over here because I had been in Seattle and San Francisco and Boston and Vegas. Every hot spot. Yeah. Shut down. You were. I just got back.

And now no one gives a fuck. And I kind of, I want that. Like, I'm looking forward to 40 for 40 just as a reason to quarantine longer. I miss that piece. But I don't give a fuck about COVID anymore. It's the worst it's ever been. Right. Back then.

Six people died now in Washington. Yeah. Oh, that's so sad. Six. It was the one in Kirkland. They had the one old guy who came back from China. And then they didn't know, and then there was some of the nursing home. It was the infancy because we did the theater. What was it?

Neptune. Neptune Theater. Two shows, and then Chase and I drove back to Boise and then home, and Doug basically did his last show in Baltimore. And that was it. You went to Vegas. I kept flying to gigs that got canceled as I landed. Boston, San Francisco. Then Vegas wasn't even a gig. But that canceled as a vacation.

Seattle shut down. The Neptune. Doug was the last show. There was supposed to be a Todd Berry show coming up. I think on a Monday or a Tuesday after our run there and that blew out. They haven't had a show there since. Wow. That was the infancy of Seattle

on the cusp of actually shutting down. Bummer. Sorry guys. No, I mean, whatever. I gotta be honest, I don't I don't miss, I mean I miss comedy a lot just because I thought that that was who I am. Because now all I do is the radio gig. And I don't like being just a radio personality.

I don't like that as being my own. That's what you were listed in the Bisbee Herald and the Bisbee Observer. Radio personality. Yes, I know. We had words. It's fine. I don't care if they spell my name wrong, but don't you fucking call me a radio personality yes i know we had words it's fine i mean you know i don't care if they spell my name wrong but don't you fucking call me a radio personality but that is they did mention you as local resident oh jesus which yeah it's if you lived here for 50 years but you're 60

you're you're not a towner right to some folk yeah yeah you got acceptance very quickly that is for sure i think you gave me cred that's it but i don't um but i've had kind of a good time during the quarantine and it's a great reason not to see people and to say no i've just enjoyed it i've loved it i'm usually like a pushover you know i struggle with that stuff but this has made me go nope i don't want you coming over i'm fat and i'll die thanks bye and with the one second the radio situation you've got set up here there's no reason for you ever to go into the station no and we and we probably won't. That's the thing. Like we are doing so well. I know like Chad, you were talking about earlier, like if you're zooming in, you miss a little

bit, you know, like it kind of doesn't feel right. And that's how we were for like the first three months with the radio show. But once, I don't know, something happened and we just started hitting that groove, you got super used to it. Different rhythm. Yeah. And once we started hitting that, I think we have a lot more fun now because we don't we're not seeing each other we see each other for four hours we do this show we're like peace out

bye and then that's it we get along really well yeah uh good segue the zoom happy hours we've been doing yeah like if if we just turn this entire fucking podcast into that i'd be happy with that i love just fucking talking to people and there is you know there's sometimes a delay and bad connections and and it's growing like we're getting a little not seamless by any stretch but yeah doing the fucking zoom where we just talk to you it's fucking great go there go that that guy's get his hand up go there and we've had great stories so yeah get on the patreon thank you uh I can just add to this add to that with this the Patreon from last month was the end of the

world I put the replay because I pulled it off YouTube the only place to watch it is on Patreon that's for any level of oh and that fucking ended so well because we had James Inman as the headliner and had people ask him questions

because he knows everything about everything. All right, ask him difficult questions. And the listeners came through and it was fucking hilarious. Well, the first four and a half hours are not anything with James. As soon as James comes online to close the show, that's part two and that's going to come up on the next Patreon. So if you want to watch all of it, as soon as you become a Patreon member, you get access to all this app, all the old footage as well.

Yes, election night of 2020 was nothing like election night of 2016. We didn't talk about politics at all. At all. It was fun the entire time. Really? Nothing? Oh, it was so much fun. Erickson did three cut-ins, I think.

I wanted to say, too, because he never gets any good praise. All the guests had good questions for him, and he handled them fantastically. He was fucking brilliant. He was fucking brilliant. He was fucking funny. He didn't fly off the handle so it stayed funny for a longer time. Usually I'm used to seeing Inman be funny and then

explode and go off the charts. Well, I guess that's over. That's usually the funny part. He prolonged the funny very well. He did a good job. And you guys are just fucking with me. Yeah. But with a smile on his face.

You guys. I don't know if you were. Oh, Chad, you probably remember the end. I didn't drink that night. I remember a lot of it. But the end with Chad, with James Inman, the way he ended it was very apropos to what was happening. And based on what you said, he handled it very well

and had a really good wrap up to the whole thing. More professional than I've ever seen him act on stage or in a podcast. Well, he said he was sober. Well, that's right. So that might have been a thing. I loved it. I sent him a message the next day.

I complimented him on Twitter. That's got to make him freaking out. He's got to be like, what's happening? Yeah, they're fucking with me. As I was typing it, I knew. I go, I can't win with this guy, man. He's going to think I'm horrible no matter what.

I almost gave him the phone number I used. Wow. What? And then I go, no. No, no, no. Because when he flips out. Yeah. I'll turn on my old phone sometimes, and there'll be like eight messages, text messages from James Inman.

I think everyone doesn't like me. Why don't you fucking talk to me? I know this isn't your phone number anymore. He's on to you. No, I've told him. Well, that phone's fucked up. I thought he figured it out. He's still on you. No, I've told him. Well, that phone's fucked up. I thought he figured it out. He's still on double secret probation.

Double secret probation. Yeah, I'm going to secret phone number three for 40 for 40. Only emergency contacts have that number. So the Patreon, the next one will be the entire, will be the second half of that entire thing. And like I said, you can only get it by going to Patreon. And we're offering it to Issues with Andy as well, if they're on Patreon there. So

40 for 40. I want to get the details of that because I don't know the details. That's what I was just about to tell you. I'm not going to do like we did 30 days in the hole of trying to podcast every day we're not gonna do that i'll do something we'll we'll do something i'm just gonna focus on you know getting through it first and then see how i feel at any given moment and how chaley's mood is and we'll do something will you be doing zoom stuff during

that time well i would love to just do I would love to just do fucking happy hour shit yeah but I mean that saves you from having people over at all absolutely because we can all get on zoom it's gonna be zoomed I want to do video for I can zoom from

inside the house I don't even have to come out of here no actually that would actually be better because then I could zoom in another camera. Yeah. The future is so great. I know. Yeah. So then, now, no smoking at all, right?

Yeah, yeah. I was going to ask. Starting the 27th. Yeah, the day after Thanksgiving. No cigarettes. Is Tracy allowed to still smoke? Yeah. Okay.

Oh, my goodness. Well, I have way too many packs of cigarettes to smoke before yeah and I can still come by and help yeah

with my little tiny baby and I can I can be on zoom from the bedroom uh huh my prison cell I called it as I

so how do you get through that though do you get like shaky or sick to your stomach or do you really do you get gr that though? Do you get like shaky or sick to your stomach or do you really get grumpy? Oh yeah.

It's yeah. It's got to do stuff. Yeah. Oh yeah. I was fucking down. That's when I started edibles was I was doing the fucking sober October and I was like a week in and then I was out here cleaning everything getting ready for football and then i found like we had that bookcase full of fucking snacks and shit and that someone had left

fucking peach gummy rings in a small bag and i was putting out snacks for football the next day and i'm like oh this is a small bag i'll just i ate three of the fucking things. And that was like, Valentina was here. And she said, you know, that's weed, right? I'm like, oh, fuck. I just ate a bunch of those. And then I had a great night. And that's when I started doing edibles. So will you do edibles during your 40?

Yes. Yes, I will. That's going to make the whole thing palatable, I'm sure. Yeah. Edibles are definitely in play for this. So do you have a- I can get you lollipops if you need them. Your mic is dead.

Yeah, it ran out. We have an amount of edibles that you will limit yourself to, or that's free range? No, edibles aren't drugs or harmful in any way. That's medicine. Clearly or that's free range? No, I believe Edibles aren't drugs or harmful in any way. That's medicine. Clearly, that's, yeah. That's what I'm getting.

You don't go, oh, I need more of this. No, you're doing a structured 40 for 40. I'm just trying to get this. It's not structured. That's the problem. It's not structured whatsoever.

How much drinking are you doing? Well, I will do medicinal amounts of drinking. That varies day to day. Depending on how many edibles I do on top of it. Some days require several medicinal drinks. Maintenance. I was going to taper down this week.

But yeah, roughly two heavy pours if I need them. There you go. But yeah, I've done this where I took no Xanax. Yeah, roughly two heavy pours if I need them. There you go. But yeah, I've done this where I took no Xanax. I'd go days without a cocktail and other days four. You're not taking any Chantix or Welbutrin or nothing? No, no. Just edible. He does pretty good with the non-smoking.

You can get through edibles with edibles I'm sure it'll be easier than all your other times you've done this I think

with edibles yeah that is interesting because this will be a time where and I might do some mushrooms too once I get my feet grounded

because I haven't I haven't done mushrooms in like a year well I mean if you know a guy well yeah bring it over

we're not gonna buy it but you know it's here well I mean I'll buy know a guy. Well, yeah. That's why I bring it over. I'm not going to buy it, but, you know. It's here. Well, I mean, I'll buy it. Well, Chad will get it. Well, we'll talk about it, you know. Yeah. All right, that's all I need to know.

I just want to know so I can call you on it if you're deviating. I look forward to checking in with you guys on Zoom during this. I really wish we had a schedule, but he doesn't want to do that. I should set up my own parameters for this time period. Cheer him on. Yeah. Be there for him. You mean like click something?

Or do something different. For 40 days. Yeah, yeah. Build a fence. Listen, it's taking me eight years. I'm not going to do it do it 40 days slow the fuck down you know what i could go on a diet oh never mind i was i was i was gonna suggest that you know it'd be easier let's just get mohawks

but i could i could i mean you know yeah but you wouldn't. Why not? I could do it. Well, let's see. If you broke your diet, that would go, fuck it. We'd be codependents. Go ahead. Eat a cheeseburger and I'll smoke your cigarette. Fuck it. Oh.

We would not be good together. But I will. No, you would do it in isolation. Just in solidarity. Yeah, I just. Yeah, but how can you be trusted? Well, because Josh would narc me off. If I told Josh that I'm doing something, you know my son,

he would just, he won't put up with shenanigans. Well, you're only cheating yourself. Josh. That's true. Josh now working at the Dots Diner at the Shady Dell. TheShadyDell.com. Stay at the Shady Dell. And eat at Back Door Mike's Dots Diner.

Dots Diner is open Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. And this weekend, they are going to be open on Friday as well. Because Thanksgiving, obviously Thursday, they wouldn't be open anyway. But they will be open for the weekend. Yep. Yeah. It sounds like you guys are trying to wrap up, but I wanted to say something before we did. I just finished listening to the Mitch Hedberg

oral. Oh, I haven't heard that. Is it great? Hope on Top. And it has Shaylee and Stan Hope and Dave Attell and Tom Rhodes and Todd Barry. Just so many stories. It was fantastic. Very good to listen to. I have to fucking listen to. If you like Mitch Hedberg and who the fuck doesn't like Mitch Hedberg,

you get to hear stories that you've probably never heard anywhere else that these guys tell who were right there with them. What's great, too, is these guys tell that who were right there with them and it's fucking what's great too is like these guys will tell a story and then Tom Rhodes in another location will tell the story and all of it is the same exact from his perspective yeah so all the perspectives

of the stories will be you know oh shit that's what I have to tease fuck we're gonna have to do that that'll be the first week of fucking 40 for 40 but this week oh well no but I'm saying

the week after Thanksgiving all right so we have to do we're gonna do the Patreon book Q&A no encore for the donkey get it listen to it because we're gonna put out the hard copy I want to do book Q&A. No encore for the donkey. Get it. Listen to it because we're going to put out

the hard copy. I want to do because we never got to do a proper book tour of any kind with that. You did like junkets like other podcasts and stuff like that

but not like you've done in the past. But I want to do like a Q&A for people who've read it or listened to it because it's audible exclusive till February.

So get that, sign up, get your free credit. If you aren't already on Audible, this is the time to be on fucking Audible. And I want to do a Q&A, a live happy hour Zoom thing where I do Q&A about the because uh we're going to put out the hard copy and i want to have exclusive content for the hard copy and i have obviously the epilogue will be extended uh and there's a few other things but i I want to hear questions where I go, yeah, I should put that in the fucking hard copy

of the book when it comes out in February. So do you know you want to do it next week for sure? Yes. So everyone has a week to listen to it, and then we'll do this. Where's your calendar? Right here on my phone. All right.

Well, what's a week from Friday? That would be the third. All right. Well, what's a week from Friday? That would be the third. All right. Are you busy? The fourth. I can move some things around for you, Mr. Stanhope. Let's do that. That'd be great.

We'll do that instead of like a regular happy hour. This will be a book club happy hour. Yes. 5 p.m. Look. Hour time. Yeah. That's mountain time. Yes confusing here all you fucking suck ups to the government that fucking change your clocks uh-huh poor babies

i only have one more thing that we need to cover in the chat has something. The eBay Blackyard, Blackyard. Blackyard. Black Friday sale will be, will release everything on the 27th and it'll go for a week. You're saying that's what that is? Yeah.

Five of the eBay, we're going to throw five items at least out there. No, we're putting more than that. Well, since I have to do it, right,

I've got five that I can do right now. All right. And we'll get as many as we can, but we're going to throw a bunch of them out there. Can I get Tracy for an hour tomorrow? Because I don't want to be

doing this shit on fucking day one of sober me, and I'm not doing it on Thanksgiving, so tomorrow's our only day. But she doesn't answer her phone. I know, it's weird. She doesn't respond to me. Wow. He says that about me too,

so I get it. Christine Levine did answer her phone today. It was crazy. I did. It's weird. One time I did. I'm trying to get better about it. I'm working on it. You want to see how you feel?

Should we see if Manson answers his phone? Wait, Chad had something, though. Chad, were we going to say something earlier? And then Chad. I probably forgot. I am sorry. Hey, I know something. If you have Amazon Prime, you have a free Twitch subscription that you can give to me.

At one time, like 500 of you gave it to me, and that was cool. I remember those days i know it's late i know you're weary i know nine months of this bullshit is bringing you down but you can go to chad's twitch stream you have a lot of friends there. They play video games and sometimes they don't. Bob Seger died today. What? Oh, my God. No, he didn't.

Shut up. I'm doing a Brendan Walsh with you. Oh, thank you. Do you know that Brendan Walsh wrote and produced and Rymanda, Amanda, his wife, performed the... What's it called? It says... Sky Rizzy.

Sky Rizzy. What? The Sky Rizzy song. Oh, wait. I know what you're talking about. Keep talking about it. Nothing is everything. Nothing is everything.

Hang on. Jaleelel play it because that's our sponsor is Sky Rizzy Sky Rizzy if you have like a flaky skin or an inflamed bowel or oh yeah it's I don't know what it is psoriatic arthritis

yeah I think yeah when Raimanda actually came into her own as a musical artist. Uh-huh. Well, at Brendan Walsh, at, at Brendan Walsh. Now his new Twitter until Twitter comes to their fucking senses and brings at Brendan Walsh back. Now he's at spelled out at at A.T. Brendan Walsh. Oh, nice.

So, yeah, he finally he had that music in the can forever with Ryman to fucking Sky Rizzy. You ready to play it? No, I can't find it. Nothing is everything. Sky Rizzy. I ready to play it? No, I can't find it. Nothing is everything? Sky Rizzy? I'm looking. I'm on his YouTube channel. He fucking coined Sky Rizzy.

That's what he wanted her to be called as her fucking rap name, but she said, I'm not a rapper. I'm an actual singer. I sing songs. And he goes, well, I wrote this and I have The

The structure down I'm trying to kill time until you find it I can find it later and put it on here Alright We're already hearing that Yeah, I feel free. So bare my skin. Yeah, that's all me. Nothing in me. Go hand in hand. Nothing on my skin. That's my new plan. Nothing on my skin.

That's my new plan. And I'm like, he's fucking spitting these fucking rhymes at me. Yeah. In the middle of the night. It was like four in the morning was my time. I was East Coast. He's calling me 1 a.m. And he's like, there's nothing on my end.

That's my new plan. I'm like, this is fucking hot. Who's going to sing it? And he goes, oh, my wife. And you know how you cringe? Yeah. Like, oh, yeah. Why do you go?

No, thanks. Exactly. And but then, yeah, they recorded it. They shopped it around. Finally, Sky Rizzy. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Every time, nothing is everything.

So they just won the lottery then. Basically. Jesus. And then right when they think that they're at the apex of their career, Twitter comes in hamstrings. This fucking poor couple just trying to fucking get by. New parents. Sad.

Do they have a baby? Yeah. Do they? It's ugly, too. Is it? Oh, God. Ugly baby. Yeah, well, they're ugly people.

They have to know this is going to be a problem. But if you have money, like Sky Rizzy money, it's okay to have an ugly family. Oh yeah, if you start tipping heavy, throwing down fat stacks, no one mentions how ugly you are.

Make a lot of noses go away that way. You know what I mean? So yeah, Twitter. Fucking stop shunning your biggest draws. Brendan Walsh, Rhymanda, Sky Rizzy. It's amazing.

It's a fucking American dream story. And it's being shit all over. Two more months of Trump and then Brendan Walsh will be back. Thank God. I'll drink to that. I'll drink with you. I'll drink at you.

Hold on. Are we still podcasting? Sky Breezy is an actual commercial? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I got that. No, I just found it.

I had it. Me and Doug planned this whole thing. Hey, thanks. Yeah. You got it. I can listen to this all day. I just imagined Brendan Walsh's second epiphany being going, oh, this is perfect for moderate

to severe plaque psoriasis. I just was riffing these rhymes and then it does actually fit with moderate to severe. No mild black psoriasis. We're against mild. Mild black psoriasis.

Asking for medicine for mild is like showing up to the Narcotics Anonymous meeting for weed. Fuck you, man. You're mild. Get out of here. And then they start chanting at you nothing is everything that's fucking brendan walsh he's fucking so good he's talented on every level else wants to leave.

And I want to stay and talk to you all night. I know it's Thanksgiving for you listening to this. You're sad and you're alone. And you go, oh, the family changed their plans because of the COVID spike. No, the family changed their plans because they don't like you. And that voice in your head has always been right. Nobody wants to have, they're having Thanksgiving

and they act like, oh, didn't we tell you? We changed our plans back on, but we left Jeremy out, Sarah, Brad, all of you sitting alone. They hate you. We are your only family. That's why we do this podcast. The people that you've grown up with, you've become close with and then drifted away from they never liked you we are the only people that like you so when you give thanks you thank

us and you thank us with every nickel in your pocket you buy buy our stuff. You become Patreon. We're like Scientology. You can get to a Patreon level that's not even listed on the Patreon website. You can become a Patreon master.

You can become part of the family. You can be in the funhouse. You can be in the fun house. You could be raising havoc right here, right now, taking off your shirt, tailgating the podcast, after party of the podcast. Do you want it enough? Are you giving enough thanks at Thanksgiving? Who do you really think you are? You can try harder.

You could be in between Christine Levine's sloppy legs right now. That is a fact. You could be being whipped by Chad Shank in a gimp outfit. Greg Chaley could right now be commanding you to clean up all of the shit you left on our bar. The man who cannot be named is judging you. judging you. And Tracy, Tracy would make you a perfect whiskey sour with egg whites.

As Jenny giggles at your turmoil. But you have to put in the legwork. You decide. It's Thanksgiving. Let's say it's in the legwork. You decide. It's Thanksgiving. Let's say it's the morning game when you started this. 10 a.m. Pacific. Shitty game. Lions against Houston Texans. Are you watching that?

You should be thinking, how could I spend my time better to be a better fucking Patreon? You figure it out. I'll talk to you at Christmas work on it good night take us out bingo ok bye bye now សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់� I'm going to go to Vegas. A beautiful fucking drive with no air conditioning and a bright sunshine after.

God forbid they should put a radio station anywhere between Vegas and San Bernardino for a guy to drive across. I think they'd hit your scan button. It's like playing roulette without the ball. It just spins and spins. You get a choice of static or national public radio. Let me flip a coin. You're not listening to national public radio. I go live to Liechtenstein for a concert from a cafe where Janusz Czachanowonowicz is playing a dulcimer strung only with scrotum hair. National Public Radio, don't fall asleep at the wheel. I blew a speaker in my car today. Yeah.

He was a motivational speaker. That's a bad taste in my mouth, but I feel a lot more present. Oh, man. I was going out a week ago in Oklahoma. That's... I had no idea. Some guy in a bar told me. You're a saggy. Oh shit!

I'm not gonna tell my dad. I'm not breaking it to him I was an asshole. You can have shit from a guy no longer wearing an earring. Hey, he's some kind of queer. He's a whole lot of weirdos doing that. Who in the world has a earring now? I know a guy who'sring. Hey, you some kind of queer, you. Well, hello, where's the dude? What in the world is an earring now? I know a guy who's got his lip pierced. He's got his speckled pierced. And he runs a chain in between them.

I can jerk off just talking too much. But it's not time for that. Two weeks in Oklahoma. We weren't even doing material. We were doing knock-knock jokes and shit. We were doing it. We thought we were geniuses. I'll tell you what about the man from Nantucket one more time on this show, because my wife didn't get it. I said, but a big state fan had no moment. They put an ad in the newspaper.

They set up a trailer at the state fair to check for prostate cancer. I don't think I want carnival workers checking my prostate. I think it's just another Midway attraction. See, you know, they got you bowing your pants at your ankles. You look behind you, it's the same guy that was running the Tilt-A-Whirl. They got a prison tattoo that says, Phil to here. Five tickets, please.

What to watch? Good, topless bars, a lot in Oklahoma. I'll give you a word of advice. If you're going to go to a topless bar, take a look around the town first. Look around at the entire town you'd want to see naked. Chances are they're not going to be at the titty bar either. You gotta buy a plush.

Who's been to a topless bar at any point in your life for any reason? No one in this room has ever been to a topless bar. No, they, they, it's pretty stupid. You know, you stick dollars in a girl's cheese drink. You pay too much for your drinks. Pretty hard. This place in Oklahoma,

it was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. For a buck and a quarter, you get a paper not full of talents right now i don't know i don't know social this is not

or She got this belly that sticks out so it can sit up on top of me. And the G-string wedged in the middle there and the girls out there sweating to the old knees. And yes, all rannies got gums stuck in the back. She had one, two, it wasn't even her two, just like a lead press-up tune, right over her head. And she's springing sweat. Every time she moves, she goes, I mean, she's dripping. You could take dollar bills and just slap them through her belly like they're refrigerated magnets.

It's ridiculous, right? Oh, it wasn't even pornography, it was zoologies. Tipping a girl in camel cash. So anyway, so I got a backup to my hotel room. And she was beautiful. They say bookstores are a good place to meet women. I don't mean that. I need a better pick-up line than, Hey, what's this word mean? And they'd hit the bar. Does anyone buy a flower from that little flower girl that was going around out there?

Any one of you idiots? That pisses me off. That really, you think, come around alone, usually in a little tuxedo outfit, and their ass come to bars

and sell you a flower right when you're picking up on a chick, make you look like a real shit, and when you won't buy one, would you like to

buy a flower for your pretty little lady friend, or isn't she worth it, you cheap piece of shit? Huh? Not buy a flower, I want to buy a flower,

I need a flower, so I'm in a bar trying to get laid, that's all I need, I need a flower, I need a bucket a flower, I'm gonna get a flower store, I'm gonna bar, I'm trying to get laid, get the hell out of here, I'm gonna get a flower, get a bucket of vaginas, come over and work with me, I'm gonna buy something to eat, Jesus. I'm gonna buy a flower for every girl whose pants I try to get into, this place will look like a mortuary. Sorry, sir. Don't give me no, do the bucket of vaginas piece. Did he say truckload of recliners?

I'll clean it up from here on out. Sorry sir, I was watching a por I read before I came out here. I was all twisted up in the plot, and I had to leave, so now I'm never going to know how it ended, so I just kind of throw them, you know. All the unanswered questions. Does your producer ever give her the part? Does a gardener ever really do the lawn? Does she do that thing at the end where she goes, Oh baby, come on, you're the best, give it to me, for real!

Now I'm gonna know. Why I didn't watch The Secret. I'm an artist, man. You know, I just think of Eric in that joke once in a while. People come in to see art like I got a witty bar to appreciate dance. Enjoy your meals. You bought flowers from that, didn't you? You bought a whole bunch of flowers from that girl. From me. Sure they're from me. I went out for Chinese food the other night, which I hate. You guys like Chinese food? I ate an egg roll for the

first time the other night. I thought it was going to be like a breakfast burrito or something. I was eating out of a lawnmower bag. Deep fried mulch. Gross. I grabbed this. It's a really cool one. It's a place I had down on the table there. Look at all those cute little teacups in the silverware in my luggage.

Let's call it Chinese Zodiac. Has anyone seen this before? If you haven't seen it, it's essentially like the regular horoscope, only the Chinese Zodiac goes by the year you were born instead of the month. And all the signs on it, they're like farm animals and shit. It's got dog and horse and rat, which is scary, because at first I thought this was the menu. But it's really true. If you read the horoscope But there's a reason to it. If you read your article,

because the cool thing about the Chinese Soviet, this tells you all the bad parts of your personality as well as the good stuff. You know, if you're rude or stubborn. It's time to use both the negative and the positive. I'll give you an example. Go ahead, Matt. What year were you born?

1970? Do you know what your sign is? Sanitarius? You'll be on Jeopardy anytime soon. 1970 says that you're the year of the sewer weasel.

See what I said? You are sensitive, emotional, and capable of great love. However, you have a tendency to get carried away. You finish what you start, but often finish before she does. So you couldn't keep an erection with wine and a popsicle stick. You see, I mean, you'm both a negative and a positive. I got a light, so I got a heart rate of 1.3. Where you going there, sir?

46, do you know what your sign is on the Chinese zodiac? I'll tell you. It says that you are... Dog? Dead. Dead. You shouldn't even go back that far, man. So see the Ming Dynasty horoscope for that.

How about you there, the bright one there? 68? Blowfish. You are a splendid companion, an intellectual with a very strong need to set difficult goals. You have a tendency to be a bit too talkative, always the center of attention all the goddamn time. God damn time! Yappity, yappity, yappity! They're like human twins, aren't they? Look around you. Do you think anyone really gives a shit

when you end up sitting here in the front row of a comedy club and you have to yell out the one ridiculous comment that anyone's yelled out all night? Why don't you judge such your take home? Is it you're embarrassing that poor little prick? Uh... You're embarrassing that poor little prick. Also says you're kind and you're a people person. I see it kind of gives you both a negative.