The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep# 523 - "Tracey Gets Visitation"

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

Tracey is finally allowed visitation back to the compound in Bisbee. Recorded June 20th, 2023 at the Quiet House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Tracey (@egglester), Bingo (@bingobingaman), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille. Signed copies of "This Is Not Fame" available while supplies last at Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know. LINKS - FreedomFest July 12 - 15, 2023 at the Renasant Convention Center Memphis, TN. FreedomFest is the annual festival where free minds meet to celebrate freedom in an open-minded environment. It is independent, non-partisan, and not officially affiliated with any organization or think tank. - https://www.freedomfest.com/memphis2023/ Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant Support the podcast at www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast Join Doug's Mailing List - http://www.DougStanhope.com TOUR DATES - https://www.dougstanhope.com/tour-dates Photo by Chaille Copyright 2013-2023 Shake The Baby, INC. & Meatwig Merch Media, LLCSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast hello this is a doug stanhope podcast it's the kitchen series it's the quiet house kitchen series and uh tracy's back and there's gonna be trouble tracy uh nay our bartender currently abducted by the mothership. She's come back on a quick sabbatical to pick up her things. We're guessing. I don't know. Raider and I surmise that you're probably going to need

help loading stuff into your car and then you're going to say, I'll be right back. And then she's gone. Chaley's been extra cranky since you've been gone. Really? No. Just making shit up. Trace, for coming back.

Are we really rolling or are we just farting? Yeah, I think we're really rolling. He did that clapping thing. It's going. Cheers, everybody. Cheers. Yeah, welcome home. You've been sorely missed

Oh thank you It's been a while It's been four and a half months Yeah It's the end of January We're just talking about that We watched the Super Bowl At LAX

That was before On my way to Australia And I go Do you realize Not only does that feel like a fucking year ago at least I'd already been the hotel living for three months at that point yeah and I'm still that's why my phone is on during this because I'm in the current hotel till July 7th and I'm trying to get them to switch me to a different brand so I can get more points. Because I've already

maxed out on my IHG points, my Hilton points, so I want to move to a Bonvoy property or even a Best Western but they don't have suites with full kitchens. So these fucking people these are the temporary housing people

and I've been dealing with them since, and it's a major corporation at CRS. Since I've been dealing with them in November with the fire. November 21st. This is what happens every time I call. Almost.

Your call cannot be completed at this time. The only fucking number they have everywhere you look is major fucking company. It cannot be completed at this time. So today, one in a hundred times I'll get through. What does that even mean? Cannot be completed at this time. Try again. This business does not pay its bill.

Try again later where you'll get the same message. I don't know what, it cannot be completed this time. No, you completed the call. They just didn't make the connection. That's why I had today I finally called because it's a fucking nightmare. And they fuck up everything. When I deal with them by text,

I'll spell out specifically so not the most retarded child could get this wrong and they completely fuck it up i'm like so today i called at&t and i'm like can you call this number to make sure i'm not crazy because i've told them you know almost every single time i call you it says the call can't be completed no i don't know that what can i do for you sir like oh they're fucking wow quick with the attitude. I know, I really would rather just... I think they're in Phoenix, and I want to just...

Yeah, let's do this face-to-face, shall we? Get fucking Chad Shank and some... Oh, there's probably a thing where you have to get buzzed in, like you're going to go buy uncut gems or something. You get in, and they lock that door, and then you go to the other... Show your hands guns your belt buckle but yeah today's going on starts a month eight is the beginning

of month eight of a hotel living and it's gonna stretch into nine but we're acclimating got a a pool in summer. Well, you figured out a few things too. I mean, at first you were just kind of grab ass and trying to get in. I mean, as a reminder, when this first started, they were calling you back right away and you had

no place to stay that first night. I mean, you came over here to Bingo's place and everything and that's fine, but it's like like what would someone else have to do? Yeah a fucking poor person would be sleeping in their Honda Accord if they had one or a family you know

yeah it sucks but I mean since then you've figured out some things like you need a kitchen absolutely full kitchen that made a big difference twin beds pool yeah I get it you gotta have it pool kind of sucks the pool is really fucking cold and i think we've discussed the kid problem oh shit i got my pin now

i i found a place that makes pins like a name tags oh okay yeah name tags like Oh, okay. Yeah, name tags. I got a good metal one that has Staybridge Suites with the logo, and I put up the executive guest as my position, and underneath that, pool monitor, so I can go down on weekends. There's never kids in this fucking hotel, because it's all workers and construction. Friday at 3 o'clock, check in with kids. Yeah, and the fucking full family just clog all into one room,

and then the pool is chaos. So then they started enforcing a wristband thing. It doesn't matter. It's small and cold anyway. I'll just go to the pool at the Best Western is great, the one with Bumsteads. And they have the open mic. So I stayed there for open mic night last Tuesday and hung around in a pool all day. That's a great pool.

I was there. I was there that day with you. Cause, cause I got back from the airport and I had to wait for my baggage. So the next day I just kind of, I didn't plan on staying until six o'clock at night, but it was, that was,

that was fucking relaxing. I'd stay there if I was you. Best West has got a good loyalty. I don't need the world to know me. I've stayed there so many times. They've got good loyalty programs for free rooms.

They don't have kitchens. Oh, shit, that's right. I can go use their pool and hang out all day without having a room because they know me. They just assume I'm staying there. Or the Doubletree. their pool and hang out all day without having a room because they know me they just assume i'm staying not that you do that or the double tree not that you would do that does that other mess by the hotel have kitchens uh i don't know uh i know they have suites but i don't think they have kitchens anyway it doesn't matter uh back and forth between here and we're gonna be going and doing a lot of stuff on the road we just found out we're flying back on the same flight.

Yeah. We're going up to Montana. You and Binger are going to Montana. Tracy's going back to Austin with half of her belongings. And then it just turns out that you guys are taking the same flight. Yes, that's going to be awesome. And we're sitting very close. Yes. So weird.

It would have been weirder if you guys both ended up being in line to get on the plane. What the fuck are you doing here? What are you doing? We got a lot of stuff coming up. Our next podcast, this has been fun,

is we had a near mass murder down the street. An attempted mass murder. It was an attempted murder at Derek's house. You know, Reverend Derek from the Doug Stanhope podcast, Derek and Kenny fame. Yeah, his friend, she stays with him all the time. She's always down there doing open mics.

She brought her friend that was trying to get off meth or something. Yeah, I guess that didn't work out. The friend thought that they were trying to harvest her organs. So while they slept, she booby-trapped the house

to blow up and then went and started shooting in one of the rooms. Shot the comic girl, shot her heel off. Through the leg and the heel. Yeah, they had to cut off parts. We're going to get into it. They cut off parts of her calf to put her... So we went to the arraignment for the attempted

murder yesterday at the court. It was fun. It was like getting a gang back together. We were really focused on... We hacked the back of the courthouse. Yeah, there was like 15 of us. I want Chad Shank on the podcast with her. We've got to get Chad over more. And we all have that.

And we're going to Freedom Fest in July. The six of us, Chad and Jenny and the four of us, we have this estate at some Bass Pro Shop. The Pyramid in Memphis. Right off the freeway. Did you tell me that it's on the back of the Tennessee Quarter? Is that actual hotel, the Pyramid? I never heard that.

Someone just told me that. That's on the back of the, yeah, look, fact check that. I guess it wasn't always Bass Pro Shop related. I don't know if it's like a. Why would Bass Pro Shops build a pyramid? But they probably occupied a landmark that was vacant. I mean, that makes sense. It's like a ball field where it's just three comms.

We'll slap our name on it for a couple years. But it's decorated. This is like if Ted Nugent bought the Luxor and decorated it himself. There's like fucking elk heads and fucking grizzly bears and all sorts of shit. And you can shoot in there. Shooting range. Yeah, we're going to shoot.

An underwater bowling alley. Archery. This is the only reason I went to Freedom Fest. I get an invite for Freedom Fest. It's a libertarian thing. And you go, probably not. But let me see what a hotel is nearby. Maybe it'll be a fun, you know, jump up and go.

And when I saw that pyramid hotel, oh, this is so stupid. And then when I saw these, the suite, the suite that we've got, like a three-bedroom suite, It's an enormous amount of money. It's the governor's suite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that's an outrageous sum, but if we're going to go big. So that's why I'm doing the comedy show there. It's the Punching Up at Freedom Fest Comedy Festival, July 14th, 2023.

The stand-up comedy special with Brittany Hunter, Camilla Cleese. Yeah, it's John Cleese's daughter. And Doug Stanhope. And that's at Freedom Fest Memphis. Did you find the... I haven't found anything that says it was on the back of a quarter. Renaissance Convention Center. And there's

other shows too there's a 7 p.m clean show and then the 9 p.m uncensored show with you yeah there's also yoshi yoshi oh yeah yoshi was that we just did the uh the the green room with paul provenza uh was yoshi there nowhere comedyhere fast comedy, it should be called. Yoshi was there. Yoshi and Rosie Tran, who booked me for that comedy show. Cool, and Tyler? They're like, oh, this is what it pays.

And I go, I'll do it for this, because this is what I spent on that stupid room. You cover the room, then it's all a wash, and we'll have fun. And I'm going to do an interview with Reason Magazine because I love Reason Magazine, but other than that I am not committed to anything.

We'll have our podcast on Podcast Row. We have a booth, a 10x10, and we'll basically have the setup here is what I've packed to go there. So if this podcast goes out and it's successful, that means we're ready to go for Memphis. Yes.

And before Memphis, this is starting to tread a little bit into fear and loathing country, but we have three judge friends in town, three of local of Cochise County judges. Yeah. And they're, oh, you don't know about this? No. We're going to a Judges, Arizona Judicial Committee Convention.

It's a convention of 600 Arizona judges. We're going. All up in Phoenix. So we're going to crash it. Kind of like Hunter S. in Fear and Loathing when he goes to the District Attorney's Convention. And the semen stains from constantly jacking off. It was a fun

tract. But yeah, so yeah, we're going to be just one night. We could have gone for the whole three night event, but I think one night is enough trouble. I really want to get Chad up for that too. I'll talk to him tomorrow on issues to find out, to let him know about

the podcast. He's offered Freedom Fest. No, the gal that got shot. Oh, yeah. Let's see if we can figure something out there. Yeah, I don't know. We might have to go to her. Yeah. That'd be a good

excuse to do a Shady Della podcast again Well Yeah Yeah, she was ambulatory But it's not easy Like they took her calf out To make a heel And that was not two weeks ago

When she got shot She did open mic, but they got her inside the door And set her on a couch that's inside the door and brought the mic to her. But she was very funny. She was getting all the shooting jokes in there.

When she walks, does she make a squishing noise with that one foot? Because her calf is instead of the heel. Yeah, there's pictures that are traumatizing. I'm not going to learn that shit.

Well, I think just hearing about it there were times where my butthole hurt it went in and hurt just hearing small details so I think we'll have her tell the listener all the graphic gory details just getting shot

and the other parts I'm not even going to step on the dick the fucking house was set up to fucking blow up Just getting shot is... And the other parts. I'm not even going to step on the dick. Yeah, let her do it. The fucking house was set up to fucking blow up. Yeah, yeah. This is a good tease. Yes. But yeah, the judges convention. Yeah, we have to go. We want to go loud.

I want Jason and Yanis to go, should we really sit with them at the bar? I don't know. That's right, because they're hanging out with all their dudes that they have to puff up to, be cocking around. I don't think either of them have it in them. I don't think either of them really... I don't want to say too stupid to care,

but they're probably not savvy enough. It's not saying that. I don't think they would consider how they'll come across. They don't have enough ego to go, oh, or ambition.

They're not fucking trying to be governor or anything they just you know want to cut people a fucking good deal they actually care about the law yeah oddly so where i would be concerned like i was concerned about having jason on my podcast when he was running like yeah are you sure. That could be bad for you. I don't even want to get into it, but this new person that just came into our lives, which is huge news on the Whiskey Girl Nowhere Man front. Yeah, I want her on the podcast,

but I'm going to have to let her know. I mean, it's sad. It could come with consequences. Yeah, it's going to go to let her know. I mean, it's sad. It could come with consequences. Yeah, it's going to go on your permanent record. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to be, like, on that episode. I'll be, you know, but my body of work could follow you around somewhere. I don't think that person realizes yet what.

Yeah, maybe we'll just not tell her. I was really hoping you were going the opposite way. Yeah, I don't know about that. Fully inform her. Well, that's how she found us, so. Oh, yeah, please hold. You're listening to the doug stanhope podcast well yeah it's gonna be it's gonna be a good summer i like the more things we add on

the less i'm concerned about the house which is coming along uh and skank fest i'm just setting up the website i don't even think you want to talk about that yet do you it's happening oh i told him i'm going i'm not necessarily on the website now. I don't even want to talk about that yet, do you? It's happening. I told him I'm going. I'm not necessarily on the bill, but I'm going to be there. I got my hotel book. This is Skankfest Vegas. Yeah, it's September 28th through October 1st, I believe.

Skankfest Vegas. Yeah, we're going. So I got my rooms early, so we're staying at our place. Yeah. I know what we're saying. Yeah, and it's... It's going to be like a Freedom Fest in that

it's just going to be everywhere. You don't... I don't know what happens at Freedom Fest. I know there's tickets that you buy, but I don't know to hear someone speak or something. Yeah, there's a lot of speakers. Yeah, we're going to be like

we did at Skankfest Houston. All over the place. We've barely walked into any shows. We're outside fucking around talking to people. Right in the middle of COVID and you were being passed

crowd surfing from one of the stages or something. I just remember that video. Cigarette and a cocktail. And a cigarette and a cocktail, yeah. I didn't spill my drink. He had a dick painted on his face and I had a vagina painted on my mouth. We rode the crowd,

didn't we? Yeah, at Freedom Fest I'm more into finding the like the real fucking margin fringe libertarian like the cookies then there's plenty of them when we did that libertarian convention in 2008 there is plenty of you know goofballs and if we can get some of those we wrangle some of those for our podcast. That's going to be good fun. So you want to do like a sit down and do the podcast and then wrangle people in?

Or find people and then have them meet us there? I honestly can't imagine how it runs. I don't know what you're thinking of doing, yeah. Yeah, I think i'm doing that i told uh nick gillespie that let's try to do the 13th the first day early uh late morning early afternoon for the reason magazine podcast so i can get that out of the way and he'll be able to guide me in places you know he's he's he's the pro yeah i don't know how it works skank festfest, I'm more familiar with. Because I'm not sitting at a booth for fucking eight hours in Memphis. Waiting for someone.

No, no, I'm saying as we go and mingle with people, oh, hey, you available tomorrow at the news? Yes. And, yeah, get the butterfly net and grab that guy. We need to pack a butterfly net. I said skankfest. I meant the judicial thing. a butterfly net.

I said Skyfest. I meant the judicial thing. We might be able to pull a hot potato out of there for a podcast. I don't want to put our own on there. They're both so soft spoken too. We both had them chime in on podcasts.

Yeah, yeah. They were both, eat the mic. Hey, eat the mic. And then they get closer, but they get quieter. As Meatwink gets louder right now. I mean, we're there for one night, so we just kind of get there early and figure out what to do. Because we might be able to just do it as covering what's going on there. I got us a suite with a giant, I mean, it's Phoenix at the end of June.

Yeah. I got us a suite with a giant I mean it's Phoenix at the end of June but I got us this giant patio bigger than the patio or as big at least as the patio at Van Dyke oh fuck we have a nice outdoor at night it's going to be 100 degrees yeah

I love 100 degrees I'll be back in fuck you god damn it. He's going to drive out to pick her back up from Austin to drive her back here to get our flight to Memphis, even though she's

very close to Memphis. I already bought all the tickets. Okay. That was when we thought I was still going to be back in June. Have we ever done a flying vacation with more than the four of us? I don't think so.

I don't think so either. No, it's just driving. We've done Vegas things with Chad and Jenny. Yeah. And I don't know what else. I had some August shit

coming up. But what do you, do you have, you have no plan? You're just. No, this is like an indefinite, money's really good.

It's a really fun job. It's a, it's just a blast. It's a great place to work. And so. It's like the volume of Chilkoot Charlie's in the good old days

With like a way Way smoother operation Because there's only two stages Coot's had ten stages Ten bars and three stages It's really like half a size But it's run Pretty smooth sailing

Cool Has anyone else done No noontime show? No, that's what I was going to say. You're the only one that did it. The staff had so much fun doing it. And the best thing was that everyone, to get into the spirit of it, our manager came in. He's like, all right, day drinking show.

Everybody get in here. Everybody get baby shots before the show started. Speaking of, Trace, let's celebrate the noontime show. The posters, we haven't really talked about it. We gave out custom posters signed to everyone from Patreon. And then the leftover posters

we gave to the staff, and they fucking really appreciated that. They loved that. I love those posters. They were so good, Shaylee. I look like Neil Hamburg in it posters. I forgot who said that. They were so good, Shelly. I do. I look like Neil Hamburger in it because I've worn some stupid glasses. I don't know whatever happened to those glasses. Like 70s giant frame.

I remember. Bob Evans glasses. Those were, that was an actual picture. So it wasn't like, hey, do Doug in this style and Neil Hamburger. It was like, hey, I want this photo this this fucking big melon noggin with these glasses on it and make it look just like this yeah I remember those glasses I might have given those to Tom Knopka because when I said when he gets to town and he's a half blind and uh he I sent to set him up with my eye doctor at Sierra Vista and complete HIPAA violation, but fine by me. He goes, oh, you

have the same prescription as Stan Hope. That's weird. So I gave him a couple pairs of my glasses that I didn't wear anymore. I might have given him the goofy ones. I definitely think you did. Looks like Mickey Rooney in

where he was playing a Chinaman. This big, huge Coke bottle. Oh, my God. What was that? Rooney in that where he was playing a Chinaman. Breakfast at Tiffany's is Mickey Rooney. Oh Mickey Rooney. I thought you said Mickey Roark. Your poster is the first one that's been framed at the club. And then Atel was the next one kind of who came through was actually selling posters him and um his opener whose name now i just had a brain fired on but um he walked by doug's poster and he loved it and we had extras so he got one of doug's and his was done by troy conrad troy conrad oh yeah i know he comes through like once a month and does pictures for everybody.

He does the whole staff thing. Yeah, last time I was there, Rogan was having a conversation with someone in the stairwell hallway about Troy Conrad. He's like, so where does he live?

Well, why doesn't he move to Austin? He wants to move to Austin. Well, get on that. I bet. He definitely tries to get everyone to move to Austin. That's funny. Brian Holtzman's there. Get on that. I bet. He definitely tries to get everyone to move to Austin. That's funny. Brian Holtzman's there.

He's there. He's starting to kill all the time. Yeah, it's great, too, because he was legendary for never being able to or not feeling comfortable anywhere but the comedy store. Anywhere else he went, he would be

in a full panic. And I don't know that he's not, but as long as he's doing well. I did some kind of dirty show at the Aspen Comedy Festival with him on the bill. I was just constantly trying to keep him calmed down. It's okay, Brian. You're going to just do what you fucking do. Yeah, we get a lot of things possibly in play in my future,

which I'm not planning anything until I get a goddamn house. Once I have a closet set up with all my fucking new suits. I'm going to buy way too much fucking new stuff. Oh, my God. You have no idea, Shayla. my fucking new suits. I buy way too much new stuff. Oh my god. You have no idea, Shaylee. I do. I keep bringing it home. Are you thinking it's way more what he's doing at the thrift stores

behind all the packages? You have no idea. That's how I spend most of my time. I got dollar Thursdays for Goodwill. There's 14 Goodwills in Tucson. He goes to every single one. I have not done every single one yet.

I've done as much as eight or nine. I'd have to start out early to get all of them in. About half, yeah, seven hours, half an hour apiece. Don't you hit thrift store fatigue, though? After about six, you just kind of gloss over that man

shouldn't we go to sound check or something already that's that's why i've only hit that i haven't done and i have to actually be away from them for a while because you if you're when you're going all the time you see stuff you're just hoping to be oh they're the day something new and great comes in because the rest of it, this was here last week, this was here last week, this was here. Haven't you learned the hide the thing until the yellow tag is on sale? Yeah. Hide it in the women's panties so you can come back for yellow. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Every week is a different color that's 50% off and on Thursdays that color for clothes is a dollar so if you go in Tuesday, Wednesday and you see some good shit that's 50% off

but you still only want to pay a dollar to take those size 32 pants and you bring them over to plus size women's sleepwear. Yeah. Hang them up there. And yeah.

Wait for Thursday. Yep. And he goes back. You have a focus. I have not done that, by the way. He calls me about dreaming about it. Here's the thing. I find other people are, I'm assuming, doing that.

Like, why is this fucking shirt? Because my size 32 fucking pants like i go to the section for 32 42 48 35 and i i start working i'm putting you need to get a name tag for that too yeah yeah yeah there's a continuity instructor well first of all goodwill employees don't have name tags okay you know this because there's uh some of them have regular employees there's a couple uh at the one that's closest to my hotel that know who I am. Like, hey, are you Doug Stam? Yeah. Wow, man, can I get a picture?

I go, yeah, any time. I'm here most Thursdays. But a lot of them are like fucking DUIs and like community service. Really? Yeah, a lot of people do community service at Goodwill. Yeah, but Goodwill is not a non-profit organization. They're a for-profit organization. No, they have a huge...

That is a big urban legend that I have also put out there. What? They are a non-profit. They're not. We'll talk about it later. Well, you'll get the emails. Yep. Stan Hope Podcast.

And you know, you can tell the ones that are DUIs and fuck-ups because they're the ones that are competent. As opposed to the ones that are... The ones that want the job. Yeah. Or need the job. Yeah. Someone needs them to have a job. It's Someone needs them to have a job.

It's good for them to have a job, so they're going to be placed here. Pay him in coupons. He doesn't care. He doesn't understand the concept of money. I knew a guy who sold – I used to work for a guy that sold rugs and antique stuff at the swap main at the Pasadena, the Rose Bowl, that huge one once a month. It was the outside of the Rose Bowl. And there was a guy that was also working for him.

But I was like a young guy. And there was this old guy. And he was always there too. And I'm like, what the fuck? What's his story? Why is he working for you? You know, and it was like 60. And he would always get all these trinkets and stuff like that.

But he said that his scam was on Tuesdays, he would always volunteer at Goodwill. Because that's when the truck came in. And he would be, oh, I'll unload the truck in the back. And he would stash stuff in the store. He'd get a job working for free. But you can get stuff. You can call your friends and tell them where you're going to put it. I'm like, man, this is fucking diabolical dude before there was the term

hoarder they existed but there wasn't the word yet mother got a job when she moved to la at the thrift store the one close to us that i always went to and i she's just spending what she's making yeah are you taking any take home pay or do you just go i want that save that for me that's real fur too i mean why do you mean the thing with this guy was he's always have like sets of glasses like depression era like He's always have like sets of glasses, like depression era, like, like glassware. And I'm like, that's what you fucking spend your Tuesday trying to hoard is a set of four tumblers that you're going to get what? 20 bucks for that's you waste your entire Tuesday waiting for the truck to come in and break in your fucking 60 year old back to unload a truck for what? Glassware?

Are those the ones that you always get? I mean, I like that style. But I don't sit around waiting to hear the truck backing up. Beep, beep. And get all fucking salivating. Yeah, he never had anything good. But it was like, yeah, that was his thing. I mean mean everyone needs a hobby i guess yeah keeps him honest i guess hey um do i have you seen my ditch bag no i know we brought this up at one point on the podcast because i thought that's how

fucked up my life has become i i can't find my ditch bag wow Wow. Of all the things. Did it get stored with? I think there's a possibility it could be maybe in the closet of the guest house. Could be. That's the only place I can think of it ending up. It's not in the, obviously it's not in the main house because we know everything that's in there. Yeah. Do you never take it to the hotel? I had it at the first hotel.

But we don't have it now. And unless... I would have thought I'd put it in a car, but it's not. I've looked in all the cars. So that's the only place I can think of.

I'm starting a new ditch bag and I'm like, what if the other fucking ditch bag shows up? What, like it's going to be jealous? Well... What are you talking jealous well i don't want to have too many ditch bags a new ditch bag i know it starts to look suspicious the other one's pretty heavy i might get seasonal ditch bags i've never once used used a ditch bag but well that's why you pack a ditch bag so you don't need to use it.

Yeah. Yeah, but that's what I've been doing since I got everything that I could possibly need from thrift stores and I don't have anything other than bowling balls and globes to look for. Chaley's doing some construction project

and he's like, I could just put bowling balls in this retaining wall, and that would look cool. And I want a globe, and they're fucking outrageously priced. It's a fucking globe. The cheapest ones are like $150 on Amazon. And I think they're collectible, too, like to where someone would snack.

That guy would grab it on a Tuesday and go, hey, there's a fucking globe down here so anytime i think uh i don't need anything at the thrift store yes bowling balls and globes if i can't trick myself but now i'm looking for ditch bag stuff and those those fucking the quick drive fabrics i found some shorts that I could... If I had a cavity, I could fucking curl them up and fit it in there. They're curled up so small. That fucking sport coat over

there weighs less than a pair of underpants, and it looks like a normal sport coat. Yeah, I want to get a fucking... So now that's a new thing I can look for in thrift stores. A ditch bag you can hide in a cavity? I want to get someone from like a fucking goodwill worker.

Who's that? I want to get some inside poop from a Salvation Army goodwill employee, former employee. Some fucking life hacks. Oh, you're going to them for life advice? No.

How to get the best deals. Well, they're not shop them for life advice? No, about how to get the best deals. Well, they're not shoppers. They're just workers. How do they know the best? They've seen quite a bit, I'm sure, yeah. I do. That guy that knows me from the Goodwill, he comes out every time.

Hey, man, I beat up a guy last week. Yeah, he punched me in the face right in the store. No, he's waiting for him outside. He'd thrown him out during the day and then he waited for him outside when they closed and the guy tried to punch him in the face and he beat the shit out of him. I'm going to get here for another eight months. Got a good story.

Tell your friend Rogan I got to punch a guy in the face. Okay, Trace. Give that to Rogan. Every time I see him. Okay, Trace. Give that to Rogan. Yeah, please. So what's the... So on the website, as far as... I'll put up dates like Freedom Fest and Skank Fest where I'm promoting something other than just myself. But I think we're talking about...

We're going to make some changes on the website. I noticed things like like the contact page still has explicitly brian hennigan well before you send us a stupid question think to yourself is this fucking dumb or like it's just you know that demeaning kind of brian hennigan tone why is this i never look at my website his accent's not so i just i want to simplify it and i think for a while, we're going to go, like, if I'm going to do stray dates, they're going to be mailing list only.

I'm not putting dates up on that website until, like, it's in the future and I'm doing a major tour. You mean for, like, a run? Yeah. Like a run you put up there. Yeah. If it's going to have a poster, but if I'm going to, you know,

do some dates here in a small place just for fun, it's going to be a Patreon or mailing list and or. So get on the mailing list and then, yeah, we're going to get on

the tour dates. Hey, invite only, basically. Yeah. We can do a hundred seaters. I don't, I won't do it. Montana this time i believe fucking summer goes

so quick like last summer we were already we'd already done one road trip by now like a massive one up through wyoming oh yeah and then came back just in time to go back on vacation to for fourth of july to palm springs Springs. That was so hot. I remember in Montana, we went up there and you had that show at the Owl Tavern or something. When we stayed at that one guy's property

that was on the cliff. Yeah, I remember that. We had dogs. Kevin was a guy. Oh, he did the ad. I'll put it in this podcast The ad for the attorney Fool for a client Yeah

Oh wait That was a different one It was a different one Yeah please hold Have you ever been arrested For driving while intoxicated Then Kevin Brown Is the lawyer for you. Hey, what am I doing over there?

You come pulling me over for what? I'm going to call my attorney. Once he's named again. If you've ever been inebriated, then Kevin Brown will take your case. Come to Kevin Brown. He'll get you off. Kevin Brown and my motherfucking...

I'll call my attorney. You gonna tase me? I'll tase you, motherfucker. Kevin Brown. He'll tase you with the law. You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. Well, for a client I just remembered, I go, I gotta fucking write some more of those.

I have to get up north to my hotel, get high, and start writing some dumb fake commercials. Get fucking Chad back involved in some of these. I'm getting very pro-podcast again. I'm feeling

excited. I can smell that fucking new house. The fun house. Tracy, we gave Tracy, Tracy hey you know what since the fun house is being remodeled you you get to tell us what we were gonna have for a new bar but you know you kind of gotta be here maybe we'll have to take that away from you that's not fair I know but you can pay for it since you're making all this money we'll decide and you just pay for it.

No. Can I get the other way around? What are you, going to go to college with that money? What the fuck? No. Oh, sorry. We've got to figure out what the hell that Dave Rader's doing. You ever eaten his ear about that?

Never see him. Yeah. I saw him yesterday when he was here. Yeah? That was it. Yeah. I'm going to figure out what he's doing with his life. He did take a trip to

chicago and yeah but i'm talking about in my house that part hey by the way where do you see yourself in five years five weeks yeah but yeah it's it was good to get out and just to see people. Just having 15 people at that. The arraignment was just to... Oh, you're talking about the arraignment. I thought you were talking about the green room. Because you did go to LA the day before. Oh, yeah.

We didn't talk about that much. I mean, continue your thought, but I just had no idea you were talking about court. It was just nice to see people. Is this just where she goes and says what she's pleading? Is that what the arraignment is? Yeah, well, she had already pled, and it was the continuance. And she's on video camera. She's not even being perp walked into the video.

But we wanted the judge to know, okay, this lady has support. And there was 15 of us. When hers was done, Stanup stood up, we all stood up, and we all walked out. All together and emptied the courtroom. Yeah, it was cool. Everyone was here for that. Yeah.

So, yeah, I've gotten away from that. The green room thing, from what I understand, he's been working on a documentary, Paul Provenza, about Andy for 10 or 11 years.

10 years now. Yeah. And didn't know how to wrap it up, didn't know how to end it, so they decided, hey, why don't we shoot an episode of the green room in my backyard?

And if you haven't seen the show, it's all over YouTube. Yeah. It was on Showtime where he had five you know four different comedians and him uh just round table discussion about it or just yeah i was on it oh you were on it i was with uh yeah no i mean at the andy one oh the andy was yeah christine levine uh and Andy Letterman, me and Andy, and Paul, and Henry Phillips. And so that was supposed to be the wrap-up for it, but they put it out live. Nowhere Comedy is Ben Gleib. He started this during COVID, and somehow he's still doing it.

He's like Zoom comedy. Yeah, and Paul was having people do sets, and I'm like, I'm not doing a set. I came here to sit around and talk. You threw that on him last minute, though, right? Like, I'm not next. I'm not going up. Well, he didn't ever throw it at me.

So when I heard other comics. No, I told you. I said, you know, because we just did Issues with Andy. And Andy kind of laid down that, oh, yeah, everyone's doing time. And then I told you. And you're like, what? Who the what? Yeah, but I'm saying he never said it.

So I didn't have to say. Yeah. I heard you say something. I could hear you yelling when he was on stage bringing up Christine Levine. I could hear you say something. I went up early before anyone did sets as people were sitting down going, listen, what I loved about the green room

was, you know, comedians that, you know, watching comedians interact with each other were comedians that you might not know or ever want to see their stand-up comedy, like Bob Saget or bernhardt were really entertaining and you didn't have to sit through their comedy so that's why i won't be going up tonight uh as a favor to the crowd yeah right and uh yeah at one point a couple of us did a couple of bumps of cocaine oh wow and was nostalgic. It felt like fishing

with earthworms and a bobber or honey candy or just something from the olden times. I'll do a bump. It's like eating that candy that came on paper and you peeled it off. And the paper would stick to it

a little bit. Oh, I'm going to do a bump of cocaine. Remember that? It was. And it didn't do anything. It certainly didn't wake me up. But it was, again, it was good to be around folks again. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that.

Yeah. That's it. I'm glad you dressed up for this. You look like the bus driver from South Park lady. You need a little bird in your hair. I didn't dress up. I just didn't brush. She put this on.

I woke up. I just didn't brush my hair yet. Fuck you. Chael and I, we're talking. I don't know if you mentioned this to you, but... I don't know if you mentioned it to me. Nickelback. Nickelback is...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I keep bothering him about, come to my concert in Phoenix. And he sends me the breakdown of... The bass player. Yeah, yeah. Trombone Mike, we call him. Yeah. Yeah.

And I keep telling you, I'm going to be in Memphis that night and I go but we'll do Nickelback tourism we'll come out just to check out a show somewhere and I found Fargo is their last date I go I want like I want remote and Fargo nothing tops that and that's the last night of their

tour so frayed nerves and exhaustion yeah I want to see that Nickelback show is it at a high show. Is it at a high school or is it at an arena? Where is it? They're in fucking arenas. There's one in Austin. No, I mean the Fargo one. I know they play arenas. They play fucking

big places, man. But like Fargo? What the fuck's in Fargo? Exactly. So that's what you're doing? Well, no, I went fucking flights to Fargo. You can't what we're doing. Nickelback has air. Well, no, I went fucking flights to Fargo. You can't get a single stop.

You have to two stop. Okay, you can go to Salt Lake to Minneapolis to Fargo or LA to... What? Yeah. So I think maybe Bangor, Maine. You said Tulsa. I like Tulsa.

We were driving through Tulsa. We ended up, I was talking to Jeff T Maine. You said Tulsa. I like Tulsa. I like Tulsa. We were driving through Tulsa. We ended up, I was talking to Jeff Tate, comedian Jeff Tate. And he's all, oh, you got to go to this sound studio that Leon Russell had. So we spent the day there. And then we had lunch. And I fucking love Tulsa, man. Wow. I mean, for a day.

Yeah, for where we were. I liked it for a day, yeah. It seemed really great. I spent some time there because Rowdy lived there. Oh, really? Captain Rowdy. Yeah, Captain Rowdy. I'd stay there.

Every part of Oklahoma is sketchy as fuck to me. I thought Tulsa was kind of like an Austin. No. I mean, as far as... That was 20 years ago for Doug. We were just there a year ago. Yeah. It's a very

gentrified area. Well, we... Didn't we play a loony bin there? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Barleycorn? No, no, that was somewhere else. No, that's Nebraska. That was in Nebraska. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was Wichita and Tulsa had loony bin comedy clubs.

Ugh, I can't remember. Yeah. You did. You did it once. It was the last two nights on the way out of town. Yeah. So you don't really remember those. Yeah.

I thought Tulsa, when Trace and I were there last year, I thought that was the first time I'd ever been there. But yeah, we liked it. Yeah. But I mean, that was on the list. So you asked, and I said that. And it's close to Austin. It's close to Austin.

Easy for you to get to. Yeah, for Tracy to get from Austin to Tulsa is quick. Yeah. That's not too far. That's the 21st of September, if I'm not wrong. So, yeah, I don't think I'll invite our people. They probably don't have the same sense of humor about Nickelback. I don't think so.

That's a big show, man. Yeah. Huge tour. I mean, did you see the dates? They're fucking insane. Oh, fucking Andy was at some bar in L.A. during this whole. He went a couple days early, and he stayed a couple days after down in Burbank. He went a couple days early, and he stayed a couple days after down in Burbank.

Here's the bartender talking about me opening for Marilyn Manson. Turns out her boyfriend is the guitarist for Marilyn Manson. Oh, shit. And she was talking about when me and Andy opened for Manson. Oh, you did? We just went out and pretended to be morning show radio guys. I was at that with you. Hey, you ready to rock and roll?

Well, no one rocks and rolls like Edmondson, Honda, Toyota. We have a push, pull, or drag it in blowout sale this weekend. Come on. No credit, no problem. Then they're broken off. No one likes you. He goes, are you talking about in Portland? Yeah, I was the other guy there. I was the other guy.

That's so great. No respect. Wow. I'm kind of... That's random. I can't... I know Twiggy Ramirez used to play guitar, but then he got Me Too'd, and so he bowed out. I don't know if... Wait, I thought he died.

Twiggy Ramirez? No. Which one died? One of the... Oh, that was... I can't remember. Or something. Yeah, it was the the what was his name

who else oh the fucking kid the kid when I did the aristocrats and I told the joke to the baby and that was probably 2003 yeah that kid was at the green Room show.

Pete Golden was a manager, agent or manager and he was Penn Gillette's manager. So for the shoot we used his baby. It was a rental baby. So Pete

Golden said, hey, I don't know if you remember my son told the aristocrats as a baby it was very cool I have a picture I'll put that up on there excellent alright that's a that's a wrap and

good things to come take us out bingo take us out live okay bye bye now don't hit the table that's right that was part of me taking everybody out how about i do it like this no okay okay how about this okay សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.