The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep# 531 - "One Doug, Three Cups"

Episode Date: October 13, 2023

Doug is back from promoting his movie, The Road Dog, and has a SkankFEST recap, his LA promotional Tour and moving back into his house.  Thank You Patreon Subscribers. We could not do this without your ongoing  support. Recorded Oct. 9th, 2023 from the Quiet House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug  Stanhope (@dougstanhope), D. Raider, Bingo and Ggreg Chaille. Produced and Edited by Chaille. Signed copies of "This Is Not Fame" available while supplies last at Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at  https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know. LINKS - DraftKings.com - New customers can bet $5 on NFL & get $200 instantly in bonus bets. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app & use code STANHOPE ODDSR.com - Luck is not a strategy. They don’t take your bet.They make you better at it. Go to ODDSR.com/STANHOPE and get 30 days FREE. Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant  for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud -  https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant Support the podcast at patreon.com/stanhopepodcast Join Doug's Mailing List - http://www.DougStanhope.com Photo by CHAILLE Copyright 2013-2023 Shake The Baby, INC. & Meatwig Merch Media, LLCSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Hey Shelly. Hey, what's up? That's your trailer. Looks nice. Oh you can't see the un-nice part. Oh. It's below the... well I'll show you. Yeah, do we get the tour? Well it's not much of a tour. That's all my gear. Oh, wow. Okay. Where do you sleep? Yeah, I'll do that. There we go. That's gear. Home Depot buckets. That's a body. That's a body.

Sleeping way back there. Fog machine. Cobweb sticks. Okay. Where is Jason Bateman on this set of Ozark? Yeah, really. Well, there's a little... I'll attempt this again.

There is a little courtyard out here. That's cool. Okay, it's not getting a trailer. All right. When you first said trailer, I kind of pictured low-rent Shady Dell vintage trailer, but then I went, no, it's probably a carny trailer. I was going to say, it looks like a carnival.

Yeah. Well, they call them fifth wheels, so's probably a carny trailer. I was going to say, it looks like a carnival. Yeah. Well, they call them fifth wheels. So they're like caravans almost, you know, I guess that's what they're called. But I looked at renting one out of North Tucson RV. I can't remember whatever. And, and it was for the, just for the month, it would just stay here. They drop it off. You get a better deal. the and just for the month they would just stay here they drop it off you get a better deal four grand for the month and i'm like uh i'd rather stay in a hotel because that would probably be about you know in there but but then i just recently like since chasie she just left today since she was here she ended up surprising me with uh hot showers and and uh hotel room for for a week

so we stayed in a couple of hotels and then i found a place down off of uh aina road which is about 15 minutes from here and they've got in it's a place called in town suites i know it sounds fancy but i can get a room for three hundred dollars a month and i know that that sounds not a month 300 a week i'm sorry but i know that sounds like it's going to be a lot of hibachis chained to the post out front and and guys sitting in front of their cars drinking beers road crew type thing but i've driven by there like six times at different times. And it's it's not it's no I roads a decent decent area. Yeah. But it sounds like you sounds like you and Dave Raider should start your own podcast.

If Halloween was going to be two and a half years long. You'd both be in the same haunted house business for the entirety. Yeah, I I don't know if it's the lighting by the way, but you look exceptionally tan. Is it just the lighting? Dude, I mean, fucking there's no trees out here. The only thing real we make is corn. Somewhere George Hamilton is crying.

I think some of it might be because of the light I have but it my face I've got a sunblock up every day it's fucking you know it's 96 degrees out here we're outdoors the whole time okay all right well it's beautiful down here. I went straight from just a blistering skank fest hangover into Sarah Silverman's party, comedy store every night, Bender, and then right into, oh, all your shit's coming back in the morning as soon as I get back. And of course, the house isn't ready for all my shit,

but we put it all in the fun house. And now I supposedly got a guy still still supposed to be in Coming into Tucson tomorrow night, and then we pick him up Friday to build a bar which means I have to Where's the bar gonna go? There's you've got all your possessions in there. Yeah. Yeah, that's I've been doing a little wheel in the deal and fortunately, we rented those two Studio spaces out by Safewayway so everything's gonna go uh a lot of stuff's coming oh man move to move to move yep bummer well you know what kenny uh kenny's a girlfriend's dad was gonna die so i had to i i hate to ask uh but then don't last minute

uh plane ticket and i go all right oh yeah and then I worked out his hours as I'm as I'm okay what's her a date of birth okay and that's gonna be this much that's this many working hours that you're gonna be working so uh yeah he was gonna help me out with something yesterday and he said I'm busy right now after I called him him, I called to check if he was going to be available. He said yes. Then I call him, go straight to voicemail. And then this skinny fucking prick texts me like two hours after I call him

and said, sorry, I'm doing something right now. I'll call you right back pretty soon when I finish. And he never called me back. Fucking dent-headed fucking. But he'll be going up to pick up this bar builder, him or Derek. and he never called me back. Fucking dent-headed fucking. But he'll be going up to pick up this bar builder, him or Derek. I don't know. Whoever's.

But, yeah, I'm in the weeds just playing with my old shit. The first thing I did, I opened a thing, and I'm like, I don't remember this lamp. And then I go, this lamp's broken. And then when I went to fix it, I dropped it and smashed smashed it and I still have no recollection of that lamp anywhere in my life ever so they broke it I broke it everyone's fine everything else pretty much it was safe and so the deal was when when this first company and we've talked about him in the past we don't need to bring up their name they contacted us and they took away all your belongings for the entire house for the duration of the renovation which started out as repairing the roof and then the renovation

which they held it in storage at at a facility that they rented and And then all of a sudden, now it's time to come back. They're going to bring it back and put it back like your house. Like you never left. Right? Yeah, that's it. If there if the house were done, yeah, I would have said no, you have to put all those pictures back on the fucking walls. That's the deal. Yeah. But the house isn't done. I forced the withdrawal of my shit. That was the thing that was causing me the most anxiety is that company was such buckets of shit. They still are such buckets of shit that I didn't

trust my stuff was ever going to come back. And well, you got a lamp that you don't even know is yours. They might have co mingled your stuff like they do with remains at a cremation place that is running below the line. Yeah. And now I have an extra lampshade, which the lampshade looks cool as shit. I don't know. Whenever you get home, if you guys aren't coming back, I'm pretty sure of that. I do think I'm coming home

Sunday, Monday because I have two days off in a row. That way I'd be able to maximize it. If it's just one day off to go home and then turn around and come back, it's not worth it. When does it run? Does it run

Thursday through Sunday? Last week was our opening night was friday so friday saturday and then i had sunday off and then i worked monday tuesday wednesday off and then we we work tomorrow but we're open again friday saturday okay but you're only you're only open to the public friday saturday only for the first two weeks of oct. Then the third week of October, we're open Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And then the last week is Thursday through Tuesday. Six days. Because Halloween's on a Tuesday.

Yeah. Oh, shit. Open every night. Is the 31st the last night or does it go beyond that? Yes, last night. And then on the first i gotta grab all i gotta still gotta figure out how i'm gonna do this i gotta grab all the props from my haunt and put them somewhere and then i leave on the second from tucson to head out to uh

austin for the uh skank not skank fest the uh altercation Comedy Fest Issues with Andy Live Podcast Oh Jesus Oh shit, okay So when will I see you? When I'm back from If you return from Budapest Yeah You might fall in love with me

Bucharest, I don't know Bucharest Johnny's supposed to be in Budapest while I'm in Bucharest And I don't know if I'll have time to take this like an hour and a half quick hop. Camel ride? Yeah, this guy. I was just trying to fucking email him and we started this. So to remind everyone, this is the Bucharest Comedy Festival.

I've got a map up right here in front of raider's face it'll be like right here it'll show everyone where bucharest is block my large nose yeah it's just north of bulgaria everyone knows that on the black oh oh thanks for clearing that up bucharest isn't on the black sea bucharest is inland a bit but uh it's uh i think it's called the Just for Fun Comedy Festival dot R.O. I don't know. I don't know how many of the just for fun. A very close approximation of the famous just for laughs where we did just for spite. But that wasn't to try to rip them up just for fun. And I'm pretty much going just for fun.

And the stipend they're paying me to go and not do shows have you been paid i got the plane ticket paid for and i'm going to talk to him uh like first of all he has a lot of plans for me okay on thursday oh here's the thing christine levine is going uh To where? To the comedy festival. Oh, my God. Yeah, she came over last week for football, patio football, and she goes, oh, I would love to do that. So I sent the guy an email.

I go, Christine Levine wants in. Make that happen. So, yeah. You guys are going to end up in two cages in a traveling show in Bucharest where like like a like a hunchback dude hits you with a stick to make you like jump and tell a joke. That's what Bingo said. She was watching way too much of this Hamas thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that. It's like the Tiger King of this year's Tiger. Everyone's fucking talking about it and she said uh yeah no your lighting is great okay and she said oh look could that happen where doug's going

and um i can't she keep calling it fucking something that doesn't sound like budapest now she kept calling it a Bangladesh could that happen where stand-ups going to Bangladesh and Raiders going no and I go well you would have said the same thing about Israel and Palestine two weeks ago two weeks ago yeah so yeah anything safe is going to Israel yeah so so Christine Levine and her new boyfriend Gary Lucy she got I got him to get her in. She got Gary. So we're all going to be on the same flight, giving away all sorts of all those Delta swag I give away to flight attendants.

I'm going to be dumping that at pennies on the dollar because Delta just fucked everybody over with their new rules. Their stock is tanking and yeah, I'll be just giving away all sorts of Delta stuff, but I don't have any, I don't have to do any shows, but instead he's got his roped in a, she's teaching an improv class. You're not wrong about us being in cages,

but I think we might have jobs like, like, Oh, you're gonna teach english a couple courses in english and uh they don't know how to make proper griddle cakes over here so we thought you'd be good you're gonna judge a griddle cake competition at the american fair anyway so he's got me doing so i'm getting getting roasted. Like, how the fuck are local Romanian comics? I'm doing everything to get you as close to being on stage,

but not telling jokes. Right. I'm doing a live podcast. I'm doing a thing. I don't even understand this. He's trying to get it. The guy's American. Wait, you're doing a live podcast.

Is there a way that we could do a podcast, you and I, for your podcast? Yeah. It's called Zoom. We're doing it right now. No, is there a way we can do it from Bucharest? Yeah, hook you up with the guy. If I can get Gary Lucy in, I could probably get us on a podcast. No, I'm saying.

No, no, no. I don't smoke. Don't cry alone. Can I Zoom a link with you? Can you and I Zoom while you're in Bucharest? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We can Zoom, not on stage. I don't want to try to pilot.

No, no, no. I mean, like in your cage. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm staying at the, they go, oh, this is an upscale hotel where you're staying. And I go, well, I've stayed in Europe and Scandinavia, and I know that brand, and is an upscale hotel where you're staying i go well i i've stayed in europe and scandinavia and i know that brand and that's upscale then i looked it up on expedia yeah it's pretty much the uh the priciest one they got and it's only like 200 bucks a night is that the prettiest denny's waitress of hotels it's not bad it looks really good it's got a

sushi bar in it so i know i can eat that's one of the always one of the bad step on the keys. I didn't tell him to go that way. Sorry, she's she's whipping you. Always the gamble. It's always the big roll of the dice with the foreign gigs is the food. But Scandinavia, that was the best part was the sushi. And, hey, we're right on the Black Sea. Romania probably has no rules and they serve whale. I could probably get endangered species at the sushi bar and pandas and stuff. And yeah. Yeah.

Hamas babies. Are you looking at anything to try to educate yourself about Bucharest or anything? So when you're there, I get all my shit here, I'll educate myself like three days before, you know, yeah, yeah,

yeah. I'll, I'll, you know, I'll try to find something a little bit deeper than the Wikipedia page. I'll try to do a deep dive. I'll try to maybe one of those idiots. That's, you know, that old bit I did about how I like to rent hotels based on one star reviews. Can you stop the cat from? We could put the cat on the ground. The cat thing. Okay.

What happens is everyone blames me for not fucking wrangling the cat or having a bad camera on Stanhope in the I'm not even there, guys. I'm not even there. So yeah, that. I'm not even there. So, yeah. I will base what I want to see based on the one-star reviews of what is a lonely planet, one of those dumb.

Yeah. I'll see what people complain about. But I told you this guy, and I know he's listening to this now, but it's not like i'm not gonna talk about it on stage this guy that booked me at one point he goes hey you know that place you're staying they have a spa there where you can get a massage but right across the street you can get an erotic massage this place is like the wild west and i'm like you're a. You're how old? This is an adult man like us. This is not a fucking 17-year-old kid going, you think I really want to go to your dumb comedy festival for no money

to get a hand job? Oh, the fucking material I'll get out of this crazy libertarian place. He's pitching it. You can play seven-card stud? Oh, my God. So, yeah, it'll be fun to make fun of i'm sure i'm leaving my sugar oh yeah sorry that's the only reason you're going i like that i like this yeah poor dave raider with his dumb house i just i I just viewed our property. He's got his security deposit back. It was clean.

I got the keys. It looks just like the Airbnb that he built for himself. Wherever he goes, there will be an Airbnb with the right amount of silverware and glasses. It's in good shape. All the will be an Airbnb with the right amount of silverware and glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's in good shape. Yeah. All the spices are fronted, so their labels are out. Celery salt. I didn't notice if they're in alphabetical order. They are in alphabetical order. Are they in alphabetical order? Yes.

Just like you bought them. Just like you bought them. His vitamins, too. I'm sure at his house house his vitamins go from magnesium straight to uh zinc zinc did you do an exit interview to like find out if there was anything wrong with the property or i did i i i call i just made him a jambalaya and uh bingo is having her therapy session here that hazard and the little houses and no you can't have company there for food yeah it's too windy on the patio so we had

dinner at the old apartment yeah and then one of the pans with which he cooked he cooked and then he put it back on the stack and I took it off and cleaned it. So I just used it downhill. You guys are like the odd couple. Oscar, what's his name? I know. I would love to, uh, you know, if all my other houses burned down, I can move in with him while he builds his house that he, he thinks he can do in six months. And I say two years. I don't think two years. How's it right. Or the pictures I saw, it looks like you're in that, uh, that middle room, which is going to be your office. Did you repair the ceiling? No, his computers are under the empty. Yeah, I work. I work under a whole insulation and probably

asbestos. I don't know. Yeah, but it's fine. Backgrounds. They don't know. That was my only concern was like that. Well, he must have fixed that drop ceiling or whatever that material was. It's like someone went up there and they put their foot in the wrong place and went through it. It's not like the whole ceiling's gone. It's just a size 10 Buster Brown. I've lived in worse. So it's coming along okay? Yeah, I haven't done much yet because this past week I was moving

and I was cleaning out the old place and stuff like that. So I did a little demo, but I haven't been able to really, really start yet. I have to do one of those radio tours tomorrow. Do you remember those to promote the movie? I remember when you and I were in Florida, we'd have to hit two or three in a morning. And then the next morning. No, no, this is the phone ones. Oh, and there's some of them that I I'm sure I had to have burned the bridge and they forgot or they forgave because in 2016, I had to do one of these

to promote the book or something that was coming out a special when bingo was still in a fucking coma and i was sitting one that was scheduled at the end of like 10 hours or something and then sit out the you you moved the uh suburban so it would be in the sun so i would stay warm and i'm chain smoking in the suburban taking phone call after phone call. Okay, now we're gonna switch you to your Green Bay you with fucking slapstick and Joni in the morning. And there's soft light hits and then

you Okay, and you're on. And then as soon as you're off, you go back to the PR person and they go Okay, now we're gonna send you to Louisville. That was great. That was great. Next up is assignment in the weeds. And they're gonna they're on a

break right now. They're gonna go to you. That sports guy loves you. And this is three hours. Yeah. We're parked at the W in the back. At the at the double or the long a loft. Yeah, whatever. A lot of balls. Yes, sitting back there and I was just burning every bridge. I'm like, I don't give a shit about the long a loft. Yeah, whatever. A lot of balls. Yes, sitting

back there and I was just burning every bridge. I don't give a shit about this. Whatever. So special. I do comedy, whatever. Or it's a book. It's about me. Well, some things haven't changed. And like there's some of them are just hanging up on me and I was swearing at some of them and tell them how cheese dick I was I was not in a good place you did something i remember that was like oof the the actual that's when like the person that was patching me through turned on me yeah yeah um and she didn't say anything in my face but then uh the the parent company got back to people who are in charge of people.

And I got yelled at vicariously. And you know what? I still didn't give a fuck. And I still don't give a fuck. I'm just in a better place now. I'll be partying on all my shit. Unwrapping things like it's fucking Christmas. It's a house.

It's a complete house full unboxing. Everything I owned literally shit literally the junk drawer there's somewhere there's from the junk drawer i have part of your junk drawer because i kept some of it like keys and stuff that's in my place i'll take it back when you get drawers installed yeah uh well i mean i get the offices back. They had the desk was broken, so they had to come back the next day and fix that. And that big table goes. They fixed everything that was broken. So everything on the new edition I have full reign of, except for the fact that there's too much shit in there because the other parts. much shit in there because the other parts I mean there's there's a bed that went to a with a bed a queen-size bed and I'm sure it's one of our many mattress former mattress sponsors I'm sure if it's not a helix it's a Casper there's a queen-size bed and frame that went into a bedroom that's no

longer a bedroom the bedroom's no longer there yeah now it's part of a dining room so so that's no longer a bedroom bedrooms no longer there yeah that's part of the dining room so so that's going to go what are you going to do with that wait there's a plan yeah there is a plan i'm going to take the new brand new helix twin mattresses that i thought bunk beds in the little guest house was a great idea until two times in a row, I fell out of the top bunk and fucking slammed to the floor, like a fucking wrestling move to bingo's horror in the first bunk where I thought I was just getting up to piss in the middle of the night. Forgetting. Yeah.

You know what? I should, when you see how bad Mike, what's his name? Bled sleepwalking. I should. Mike Birbiglia. Birbiglia, yeah. Sleepwalk with me.

Yeah. Yeah. He fucking slept walked out of two-story, a second-story hotel. Out of a La Quinta. Yeah. And two times I went out the top bunk of some bunk beds that were very difficult to assemble. So here's what we're going to do. We're putting the fucking queen-size bed from the big bedroom back into the guest house that always had a queen for its entire life, and everyone was happy with it. And we're going to take the two twin mattresses, and we're going to put them side-by-side, or not side-by-side, but on each wall of the back office that he just

vacated at bucket 207 and then and i'm gonna put uh jobey's coffee table that he made for us that giant ass coffee table two by fours it's all two by fours i don't know wooden thing that was it's been about four it sounds fancy no no it's i don't know it's it's that it was in the old living room it was the coffee table in the old living room real big oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that's gonna go in the middle of the twin bed and that can go right in between as a dual uh nightstand nightstand and that's uh yeah that's just how me and my brother uh slept growing up so yeah it's and he turned out fine it's it's just as good for guests sleeping for two people that might not be a couple but uh you know our our traveling vagabond uh la to austin or

vice versa comedians that occasionally go hey you're halfway through it was it cool if we spend the night and then you have to go are you guys a couple or like because we had a queen-size bed in the guest house and then there's obviously there's still the queen-size bed in my bedroom that i saw and i'd always have to ask like are you two like can you share a bed in these in this uh current climate can you how do i ask are you uh will you be drunk enough you don't mind sharing like a me and andy situation now yeah now we have the best of both worlds and it's in the back of his old place no so that's in the back room where the office was okay i was thinking you were putting him in the kitchen in the dining room but you know no remember that giant l-shaped desk yeah yeah yeah yeah it's

completely empty that's where we uh we we uh leveled the floor yeah yeah i still by the way no i have not fixed the holes that were left by you know who oh but i told doug that earlier i did the computers out of there because drywall dust and computers don't work very well yeah yeah i will go back and fix it. Good. All right, let's play a commercial. I got to throw my shit in the dryer. Hey, DraftKings, the NFL season is going strong, and DraftKings is here to make it even better. New customers can bet $5 on any game this week

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See sportsbook.draftkings.com slash football terms for eligibility and deposit restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources all right we're back i'm so disappointed in so on so many levels but i'm glad you got your stuff and that we're done with that company. It's just, I'm getting calls now from the contractor and I'm like, man, this is five weeks ago. We should have fucking been handling this stuff. You know, you're calling me now. So it's, I don't, I don't, I don't need to bore you with it, but it's, it's. Well, what do you, what do you, are you going to keep up this, uh, this habit? Is this a habit or is this an anomaly of getting a day job? Is it, you're not going to keep doing this.

Are you? I'm done on the 31st. I'm on the, I'm done on the first. Yeah. This is a work of passion, right? Yeah. I, this, this has been a blast. And you're not going to tell me that you're going to be working at fucking Joanne Fabrics

for fucking seasonal help for Christmas. Wait, did they call back? I gave them you as a reference. Wait, if they did, you've got to be honest. Don't fucking lie to me. I need someone to build shelves at night. Yeah, so the week that we were running up to opening it was just crazy you know work i hired this one guy who's uh retired but he used to work in the mine so and he's a fucking worker and he's used to he's born and raised out here big big hulking guy and i'm like

fucking great so i'm just working with him and he doesn't complain. He just goes, I go, let's do this. He goes, let's go. So it's awesome, right? The opposite of everyone in Bisbee, basically. You know, let's build it right now. Hey, we're off in half hour. We can build that wall. Fuck me.

Yeah, let's do it. So I got him working with me. So it's just me and him. It's fucking great. But, you know they they open friday and saturday we're open the news was out and all that you guys saw that and then come tuesday when everyone's working again they moved on to pumpkin patches and now today i find out they're they're moving all their christmas tree lot stuff out so then no one's really working that much on the hunt because

it opened and then i'm working with the other guy and there's a couple people running around cleaning up stuff but they're already moving on to christmas tree lots and pumpkin patches so it's a whole fucking thing man yeah if you're gonna if you find a handyman that'll travel i got this one guy that he all he did was so far is change the locks out at the studio a Yeah, I think that's pretty much it. But he he's coming I get I get a big list for him coming up here. I just keep adding to it. The door to that the mail house, not the mailbox, but the mail house. Yeah.

It's like, it doesn't connect anymore. The door is. No, it's just spring loaded. So it stays shut with a spring. No, it's not staying shut. It's a storm today. It's tearing off. A piece broke off.

And it's just slamming. It won't shut. You can't keep it shut completely. So he's supposed to tomorrow, Friday. So I'm going to start him with that. And then he just slamming. It won't shut. You can't keep it shut completely. So he's supposed to tomorrow, Friday. So I'm going to start him with that, and then he can paint that, and then he can put that stupid sign up on the deck. And I just keep coming up with. Can he build a new one?

I don't know. That's, again, so far he's changed a lock that. He's got a cool scab on his hand. He's very tall. So I'm gonna have him put up a start putting the what do you call it back in the blinds? Sir put these blinds everywhere. Look in the news Murphy stage. There's a shitload of blinds. I'm assuming most of those are from those weren't taken down by your painters. The

painters should have replaced those. Those are brand new. They should have put them back up. All right. Well, I didn't know that they were in there. They took them down. I don't know that they did. I think they were taken down. You think someone snuck on your property and took your blinds down? I think they've been taken down since Rob was in there.

Matt and Rob. Nope. All right. Wait, I might have taken those down. He might have taken them down. And there's some creepy person did sneak into the funhouse and take the blind. I know. Does that does that TV in the corner have a remote somewhere? The one that's still up in the funhouse? have a remote somewhere? The one that's still up in the funhouse?

Yeah, it has everything. But the box, don't do anything with that because I got to put a new shelf in there. I was going to look at football on it with my eyes. Wait until after Monday because I got to put a shelf in there that will hold all the receivers.

The last shelf that got put in there was made too shallow. So it's got to come out shelf in there that'll hold all the receivers. The last shelf that got put in there was made too shallow. So it's got to come out. Yeah. Watch Tuesday night football and on. Got it. I found some remotes in the, you know, that table. It's inside the little house as your couple drawers.

There's some remotes in there. Remotes for the team. Man, we should be doing this not on a podcast. Yeah. Anyway, the point is, he's we'll find out what his skills are. I'm going to have the master bath has all sorts of blinds like across the sink and shit. I'm like, all right, those are probably from the office. But I don't know who's ever been in charge of what job.

Sorry, I wanted bingo to be representative. If those people take, listen, if someone takes something down to paint something or to fix something, they're responsible for putting them back up. Yeah, and I don't know. So the thing is, I get this guy, if he knows how to put blinds back up and he can figure out these blinds like a jigsaw puzzle oh these are this long in this wide this windows this is not that much what right so I'll get them working on shit because especially if you can work on the weekend when these guys are not here these guys are always gone by three at the latest it seems so. Yeah. And then we get the bar builder and then Alex is

coming in on the 19th from from Australia. So he'll be here through New Year's. So we'll be live lots of projects. The 19th through New Year's. What's he doing? Building? Good Christine Levine news. But again, can't that I don't want to get a Yeah, I don't want to. Yeah, I don't

I'm not asking. Yeah. So yeah, lots of lots of notes that I've asking? Yeah. So yeah, I got lots of lots of notes that I've built up over a year in hotels that are finally going to go into drawers and be spread out on a desk where I can organize every thought that I've had and

start throwing away the bad ones. I have nothing to add. If you throw away the bad ones, what's gonna go on the podcast? I get Oh, fuck, that's gonna be a goddamn note. I want to put up corkboard up for it to to the anyway. Yeah, there's there's way too many venues right now and not enough you see if you're a handyman knows how to put up a corkboard. Yeah, I have to get a corkboard first I have to remember to get a corkboard and that even if I have it written down, which I

may, I have to fucking I'm slowly condensing. Like today, I could move all my shit out of the quiet house and move it at least towards the office or into the office but not a usable office hey baby steps but yeah where the fuck do I have to be Romania and then nowhere that's that's my future Romania and nowhere but buck you know a color coordinating my socks in separate drawers. Oh, and the odds are, I'm going to plug odds are, that we're still fucking running at 63% on the season,

which no human being can match, and the other record that is unmet. Oddsare.com, if they just tell you, hey, here's the games that are this weekend. Here's the only ones we think you should bet. And they're hitting 63% over the course of five weeks. Undoable in human. This is artificial intelligence that does it. What's also. Wait, OddsR, it's not a betting site.

Right. You just get the app. Yeah. Go to oddsare.com and get the mobile app. Slash Stanhope. Slash oddsare.com slash Stanhope, and it will tell you what they think are safe bets. Yeah, they red light, yellow light, and green light bets based on every possible statistic that they can cram into artificial intelligence and all the data analytics and

all the shit that you don't have time to do as a gambler. Hey, what's my best bets? And they're fucking 63 after five weeks uh sometimes there's a don't like there's as few as four bets in a weekend but if you're biting i'm not here's my but my point is get the fucking app and then we can talk about it through the odds are hashtag i want to say equally undoable is to lose five games against the spread to Michael Bean. Every fucking week, our gimmick is he gets to pick the game. The winner gets to pick the game that we bet next week. The loser of last week gets to pick the team in that game. So he won the coin flip to start and i have not stolen the serve he's picked a game and i've picked every losing team every time in a row

today he called me up and he starts giving me no go go go in the other room and flip a coin five times in a row and try to lose your gas five times in a row you know how long it's going to take you to lose five times in a row on a coin flip that's what you're doing so i might sell my pick against michael bean because you can't possibly lose six times in a row it's not possible i might sell that pick for money uh so go yeah get that app because Brendan Walsh and I are doing our side project every Saturday. It's called hashtag get to the

points. You can find it through that and every Saturday afternoon we give you our picks along with Sean Green from Sports Gambling Podcast and yeah, it's been a lot of fun to uh just around with that you know no one's more it's quick it's live and you guys kind of roll

through all the games and give your bets and it's and then you have odds ours uh results from the previous week yes and then when we're also funny unlike unlike fucking like Stephen A. Smiths, who just fucking yell and argue for, oh, fucking, yeah, conflict equals numbers. Oh, fuck you. There's my conflict. I've been making Dave Rader as uncomfortable as possible. That's all I've been doing. Do you want to explain, like why how I was done I was just thinking of one thing that I go oh you know what I'm not gonna tell him that because I like one thing you know how I more and more I get

concerned about waste yeah fucking construction workers they always leave like half bottles of their bottled water everywhere. And I'm like, that's perfectly good water. So I went around after they left and I married all of their bottles into the big water jug I keep next to the coffee maker. And because I figure, oh, come on. Well, yeah, because they boil out water in the coffee maker. That sanitizes it. And now probably now he's not going to want to drink coffee at my house.

Raider, I'll tell you right now, I'm throwing away that coffee maker when I get home. Say again? I'm throwing away that coffee maker when I get home, so don't worry about it. Thank you. Coffee will be safe again when Shaley gets back in town. Yeah. Looking forward to seeing you, buddy. Yeah, I've been doing a lot of things.

I go, Raider will go, why are you doing that? I go, because Shaley's out of town and I can do anything I want. Because Shaley would never allow this to happen. Shaley mashes his foot on the gas pedal against any idea that he's doesn't have complete what was that i don't even remember what i was talking about when i go oh no i'm going to do that before it gets home do i really i think i'm there with a camera and a microphone when you whenever you want to do something no matter how ridiculous it is yeah but i mean i understand your head, you have to think

that I say no to everything. No, no, it's this guy that's supposedly coming to build a bar. What? And you're like, you're going to let a complete stranger, you're going to come down. Well, I, because I've been, I've had to deal with the last couple of

guys that you brought in to do stuff and then you left town. That's all. i don't care i'm not building the bar he's not taking any work away i'm just saying i'm reminding you that we had an intern that was there for a day and then you left him with me and i had to find stuff for him to do yeah and he broke he broke rocks like a prisoner on a chain gang. Yeah. So we're talking about the kid whose first name starts with a Charlie. Who he is. There's a they run these commercials. I don't even know

if you watch local news here or anything. Oh, I've been watching at that when we had a hotel room. Okay, so it's like Adam the home homebuyer. Hi, I'm Adam, the homebuyer and I will buy your house sight unseen. You don't have to. It's Adam, the homebuyer.com and he's just looks like a douche and he looks like a frat fucking what's the Finkelstein's that Winklevoss kind of guy but the guys who supposedly invented Facebook right he

looks like that kind of I can and you'll walk away with a cash offer guaranteed and I and bingo goes who does he remind me of I go Charlie the intern he's just like one of these douchebags like born a salesman without like without a job I just want to sell you on anything I don't care I just want to win he sold you yeah this guy he first of all he said I said he goes what's a hotel close by like is there a motel or you said 30 minutes away is where all the box stores are maybe it's better if I'm near a Home Depot. And I go, no, I got a house you could stay in. And I said, I'll have someone pick you up.

I'm a big boy. I can get a rental car. I'm good. And I'm like, I can have someone come get you. And he's like, hey, sorry, just today. Hey, sorry, I'm late getting back to you. Did my day get away from me? I'm actually going to be in late tomorrow tomorrow night so i'm going to stay with a

friend here in tucson and i'll get you an address where your friend can pick me up tomorrow but yeah he's fucking he's a he's a contractor and he is a contractor he has a contract in what state? In California. Okay. But he sent me I was I was the guy that was saying, Listen, this is a trade out for what? Because I I'm going to help you with comedy. He goes, I have ideas for that. No, no, he was open from the beginning when you were saying Oh, God damn it. Stay away from that. That's not what I said. Hang on. That's what you heard.

That's not what I said. Well, you always say that for a reason. Yes, there's a lot of times. And I thought, okay, even if he wanted to do stand-up, I couldn't teach stand-up. And this is about movie scripts or TV scripts or something. I go, listen, i don't know anything about that's not my field but if you really want to come down and work for free while i smile and nod at

your your great ideas you can do that and build me a bar and he goes i'd love to build you a bar i'm a contractor i live in oakland and here's uh here's a couple of links to things i've done because i was blowing them off. And then I clicked on the links. And I went, Oh, fuck. Get this guy down here right away. You built that. That's you. Okay. Is he in the picture with the stuff he built? No, but he didn't send me a picture. Oh, great.

Why can I send you? Can I send you a picture of my dick? Oh, great. Can I send you a picture of my dick? I swear it's mine. My face won't be in the picture. Well, hopefully it doesn't come down. Oh, it'll be fine. It'll be fine.

It'll be great because he's coming to town and you're leaving perfect. Someone else will have to deal with it. No, he's only here for a week. He said and then Alex comes in the same day I get back from Romania. He'll be in from Australia. So I'll have and then I don't have anywhere to go for the rest of my life. Oh, great. The rest of my life. My wife lives in town and I don't care to see her. It's the opposite of your relationship. Well, after I leave here,

I'm going to Austin for a week. Yeah. Then I'm coming home and then I'm going back up to Boise to run the shop up at Ghost Ride for about three weeks. You're going back to fucking Boise? weeks. You're going back to Boise? Yeah, here when I get back from when do you live in Bisbee?

On? Let's see. On the turnarounds when I go home to pick up underpants and medication. Wow. All right. So I just I just talked to my brother and he's going to be gone for three weeks during his vacation. And I'm going to run a shop because someone bought basically one of everything on his website. Like one company bought everything. So we're going to make two of everything. So you won't be home until December? You won't be home until December.

No, I told you. I'll be home on November 10th to November 26th, 27th. So you're doing Thanksgiving here? Oh, yeah. Okay. But not Christmas? No, I think I'm going to go straight from Boise to Austin

to spend Christmas in Austin with Tracy. All right. Should we sell your house? Because, you know Seth next to license. Who? Seth next door? He's got his real estate license. Should you be his first listing? Really? Yeah. What are you gonna want? I always thought Tom kanaka should have gotten his real estate license back back like years ago. Yeah. Then we found out he was gearing down to do nothing but walk and talk about business, which I love.

He would not be held down to what you – wait, you shouldn't talk about that, Tom. You should talk about like the loan structure. No, I'd rather talk about the big B and the history that B was first put there in 1958 and I will not be constrained to talking about realist I told Seth to just start putting up for sale signs at all our properties with his name so everyone everyone's like, Oh, first of all, they're like, I guess Doug standups moving and all his friends are moving.

But who's this young gun that has wrestled Doug and I'm selling all his properties. He must have something going on. He came over when I was high and, you know, giving out jambalaya like I do. And he came over for his jambalaya rations. And I pitched that idea and he loved it and then the next day he texted me he goes no that's completely illegal and against the rules you can't really do that but it was a great idea that we shared that I got a question about your jambalaya do you collect jambalaya ingredients like you marry water bottles for coffee? Yes, I do. You go around job sites wrapped in free bottom shelf. Green bag. That's it here. This is so every

time you know, I it's a little freezer burn there. But every time you you get done, you buy an onion and a green pepper and an onion for your omelet. You can shut those. She leaves the fucking doors just wide open, freezer and fridge. Yeah, celery, squash, little pieces of squash. Everything that you, I cut it down

and I use every part of it. So when when all right this is if I don't use this today oh wait I can freeze it and I put it into chili or spaghetti sauce or jambalaya and yeah it's I repurpose a lot of things you do the same thing you just I do but I make vegetable uh stock it's a little different wait you make i'd buy chicken broth but at the dollar store yeah yeah i know what you're saying i do the same thing but not i don't eat it i i but not if not if a construction worker licked it certainly not it. We all do it. We all do it differently. Bon Appetit Raider.

That was goddamn good jambalaya was really I did use fresh vegetables today. And I love how you emphasize fresh vegetables today. Not every day. Here's the thing, I've been using potatoes and carrots that get really mushy and then it like the whole thing gets a mushy consistency. So I'm working out like is it those two vegetables specifically is the fact that I kept it in a crock pot after it was done cooking too long because it's not like chili or spaghetti sauce that it gets better with age rice just swells up to mushy mushy mushy yeah and i didn't know if that reminds me of this commercial break hey no matter where you bet if you want to know what to bet and who to bet and when to bet it

go to odds r dot com that's o-d-d-s letter, oddsr.com slash Stanhope and get the app. It's artificial intelligence betting smartly for you. Smart betting because luck is not a strategy. They dump every possible piece of information into artificial intelligence and tell you what your smartest betting options are. And after five weeks of the NFL, they're at 63%. You don't get that from human beings. You get it from machines. So stop being afraid of the robot. Embr free trial when you use odds are dot com slash stan hope 30 days for free and after that 9.99 a month uh so yeah get with me and brendan walsh and get winning because we're up that's it no catchphrase back to the show and we're back you know what i love that's

my favorite part about cooking is uh the way you always race up with a bib to be first you will never eat a bite of anything i make so why should i why should I be hygienic? No reason. Yeah, I just keep this stuff. Yeah, I put it under a bunch of kosher salt and a sock. I let it What's that word for when you just let it brine cook or something? Please, please come home. Yeah, I love a barbecue when i get back raider i got some omaha steaks i'm holding out i'm not supposed to be eating the red meat but i've got a since that whole thing with my uh cholesterol and my triglycerides i'm i don't care wait are you still on your your uh i don't eat anything guys no no i'm i i i i i've been

eating like meatloaf i i went and ate meatloaf a little bit at that place it has good meatloaf but i won't say their name because they're tourist trap uh so so burger king yes he's like a Burger King like every day. I have no pots or pans. Yeah, he has no kitchen. He can't cook. You saw that place. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what he did before that.

I think he ate Burger King all the time. I think there's some girl named Consuela that's in the family way, works behind the counter. But hey, I could talk her into it. She's going to need a man who makes some bread. You know, I'm... Dinero. I make mucho dinero.

Cal tiempo. Do you... Cal tiempo. Back to Sonora. Yeah. I'll see you mañana. He's reading off a cheat sheet of exit oh i did buy a romanian to uh to an english dictionary on uh amazon that i'm sure i'll put to good use but good to have yeah just in case and not not easy to find I used to find that I looked up specifically that and I

was getting a lot of like a German to Russian and I'm like yeah what the like I don't know if Romania even has a unique language I use Bulgaria and Romania the same they're border towns but a lot of those places like Norway and Sweden, literally back then when they used to fight, if you can imagine that, rather than scissor. They forced, when they broke apart as a country, they're like, oh, we're getting different languages. It's going to be close enough, but just to be different than you, fuck you. Everything that's wrong with this world is not being able to communicate and you do it on purpose because that's the old bit and that's about a bulgarian pimp like how's your heritage and your traditions and heritage how's that going to get me out of a

beating from a bulgarian pimp when your pocket dictionary doesn't quite differentiate Bulgarian pimp when your pocket dictionary doesn't quite differentiate specifically when you're trying to negotiate a good price on a street prostitute and your pocket dictionary can't quite differentiate between doggy style and straight in the shitter how is your heritage going to get you out of a beating from a Bulgarian pimp that's on Dead Hero, which maybe you'll be back in time for the 20-year anniversary. It's 2024. That's 20 years since Deadbeat Hero. And almost all of it is still fucking relevant and some of it more than ever. And I'm going to just start New Year's Day. I'm just going to start pounding out bits of that or redone bits where I can redo the same bit today in front of an audience to show

that it's still as fucking relevant as it was 20 years ago. In the meantime, I still haven't fucking edited or had edited. I got Alex doing the editing of Funny in Parts is the working title of my special I filmed in May but once I get that desk you know uh ready to go with hammers banging behind it all right all right this was this but you didn't tell any stories about Sarah Silverman's party or what was going on with that or the con you said you went to these places but you didn't't talk about them. Yeah, was it that was just the last night. I mean, I did the

thing with Brendan Walsh. We did ours at the sports podcast, poison sports gambling podcast. And you did a couple of podcasts. You do like Mark Maron and Adam Carolla. And yeah, Marin, I fucking hung out with Baron. I really, really enjoyed my time with Mark Maron. That was one of the highlights. I know the first couple of times you went to his house to do the podcast, the first time he was kind of amused.

And the second time he's like, all right, you show up with your posse and a fucking full bar. But yeah, I get to podcast, get your carnival out of here. But this time we fucking had fun and hung out. And then, then he was at sarah's party which uh is always uh is that an annual party that she has every year as as like all comedians or is it all industry or what it's comedians in industry and uh people that you would i would never run into otherwise like sasha baron cohen was there. Not not not

as a character, which is actually, you know, but people like Olivia Wilde, who I remember at some point, I was just drunk and ogling while she was dancing with Reggie Watson. I go, Is this? Is this me? Is this am I racist? Or is that just because it's not me? Because he's dancing a little bit wild. That's jealousy, Doug. It's not racism. Well, when you're jealous of someone, you're going to just hate them for something.

Yeah. Like, I don't like you right now because you're not going to be home for all of the holidays. And now I'm going to call you four eyes. I can't believe I do a podcast without four eyes. And you're going to go go you wear glasses too um you're wearing them right now yeah i know i just noticed that and i still don't like you because you're more of a four eyes because you have rims these are rimless glasses point being there's she's actually someone i know which is i never know anybody and i she's just

actually someone i know which is i never know anybody and i she's just uh i almost said smoke show which is an expression i hate as much or more than show oh it's a show there's that dumb expression and how did it catch on but kate beckonsdale or beckonsale yeah yeah tell me that how famous she was and that's when i i'm i'm drunk and i'm gonna get a picture because she's with a guy whose shirt matches my suit and she's famous so i i'm you got a picture yeah i tweeted them all out and stuff well i don't i'm not on twitter i'm i instagrammed them all i've got hang over the next day greg chaley i had two hotel rooms within four blocks because i was too lazy to pack my bags to get out of one of them to go to brendan walsh to do that podcast to get back to check in to the one that's next to her party

so I left there I think probably 2 30 in the morning 2 35 2 30 and I slept for maybe two hours at one hotel that I spent an outrageous amount of money on because I wanted to be next to the place because I don't know LA I don't want to be caught up and no one can get an uber on a Saturday night trying to leave Sunset Boulevard. And then I woke up at like 530 in the morning and went, ah, fuck. I got to get to my other hotel with all my shit to get an Uber, to get to the Delta Sky Club, to start drinking away this hangover and then get up. Yeah, it was a rough day. And so I stayed overnight in Tucson and got back just in time for the for the insurance people the old and uh the old contractor people the people that packed up my to say yeah

yes mr stanhope yeah your stuff uh they're gonna pick it up uh at the uh the storage unit now the storage unit now. So they'll be there in about an hour. And I'm like, where is it? It's 20 minutes away from you. I'm like, the whole time I thought all our shit was up in Tucson. I thought it was like in Scottsdale or something. No, it was in Herford the whole time. So they go, okay, it's 8.30.

They'll be there at 9.30 or 10. Well, 12.35 comes and I i go maybe i should just call or i got chad shank i asked him and kenny to come down hey listen i'm hung over i'm trucking i gotta i'm gonna be there with a hangover tomorrow morning uh can you meet me at the house at eight o'clock just in case they pull any more i just have eyes on the project i I mean, we don't have anything. And so they Yeah, they were there at eight. And then we just waited for four and a half hours, five hours by the time they actually got there. From 25 minutes away.

Yeah. Well, they were 25 minutes away from them getting there to load up the ship yeah yeah no then uh then it was another few hours of watching them unload it we actually helped the move just to speed up the process hurry it up yeah wow well but skank fest over phenomenal skank fest is by far the best comedy festival that i've ever gone to probably i i don't know if i get covered but again yeah whatever sick i got it felt like smoking again felt like it's being a i remember this feeling from being a smoker for 42 years and that today bingo was, do you still feel? I go, I still, like, cough and it hurts when I wake up. And she goes, I got body aches.

And then we found a COVID test as I was moving my shit out of the, from here over there. I'm like, hey, COVID test. You want to do it or do you want me to do it? She did it. No COVID. Wait. But you're the one feeling sick

well no she did too oh she's like i don't have the protein but my body aches yeah i had like the skank fest i didn't the first time i went to skank fest south in houston i got home and then we both felt like shit and i'm sure that's the first time i got covid that was the one where you uh you were doing a guest podcast or you were on stage with someone. I don't know what it was, but you had the face painter put a big penis on your face. And there was pictures of you guys being passed along, body surfing, crowd surfing in front of, I don't know what was on stage. But yeah, that was in full height of COVID. Right.

Texas. Yeah. Yeah. Texas, yeah. Yeah, and then we got home, and we didn't feel so good at the airport. We go, we should get the COVID test here because that's the only place you can probably get it compared to where we live. Back then, yeah. And we got it, and it was negative. But then we found out after, later on, got the antigen test and they go oh you definitely had it at some point and i go that's the only time i even felt a little blue but then they go oh well that would have been like if i got it the day before it doesn't show up that quick

this time it laid me out saturday night i was drinking my own piss on stage and sunday morning you go oh well you can you, anyone else like Greg Chaley would blame me for fucking chugging fucking 14 ounces of my own urine on stage with Dr. Drew. Not with Dr. Drew, but. Wait, you and Dr. Drew had a piss chugging contest? No, no. I just had to piss. Like the podcast was going on. I found out a lot of the extra stuff

it was just dr drew and then there was annie letterman and then his big jay oakerson and me and we were chatting about who knows you know the live podcast kind of event or uh and towards the end he's like showing clips of stuff i don't remember what who is showing clips dr drew it was his it was his podcast and uh and i had to piss so i go i get a piss and andy letterman is the one who told me just piss right here and handed me a cup so i turned around and i had one cup one yeah solo cup if i'm if i have to leave stage to piss i get to go a lot you kept reaching back so sorry I I filled up three cups before I oh my God but you you're famous for being able to go take a little off the top and then come back and finish the set yeah that's what I did I did only three cups why wouldn't you just do one

cup to take a little off the top and then finish the podcast and then go dress then they'd think that I was pissing on stage just to look cool rather than know that i really had to piss okay i get it you're making a point i think i was i you know i can only hypothesize what i was thinking in the future i understand but what i what i what i do know is uh i sat back down and the subject came up for whatever reason about that one skank fest i wasn't at early on where uh louis gomez pretended to suck bobby kelly's dick that i only saw on the internet but i thought i completely fell for because i don't have friends in the business to steer me in the right direction and go it it's a fake dick. I just thought, oh, I've been outdone.

I'll never be able to top any of that with my old school hijinks. I just pulled my dick out. It was the best I did. I didn't suck a guy off. It was like a hardcore. I would put my dick in that mouth. That's how you do it i it was what i thought so i brought that up and then i told him how disappointed i was that it lacked authenticity and then i just you said it's only funny if you do it and then you chug your yeah and then how much of a of a red kegger cup did you drink? It was, give me that.

Yeah. Oh, right here. No, it's right here. Where? It was this size. Yeah. This size. I drank the whole fucking thing.

Yeah, and then I guess Dr. Drew was going to go on with the show. He had another clip loaded and ready to go, but I guess that brought the house down uh so they decided to close it yeah and on a high note what what was gonna come out next and and i did i have asparagus at oscars uh earlier so because when they kept like complaining about the asparagus piss smell as i was setting cups down i thought they're just in the comedy moment and yeah yeah yeah exaggerated but evidently it smelled real real bad but uh even as after we're leaving the stage that second cup i dug into the second cup a little bit because

it really didn't taste bad and uh you were thirsty yeah i just i wanted to make sure it wasn't just the thrill of the moment i asked dr dude to prescribe me mouthwash on the way out i did you know what i i this is uh one of those things with uh You know what? This is one of those things with Chad where, like, when Chad, I would never implore Chad for stories because I assumed he already told him on issues with Andy. And I've told this, well, I guess, yeah, the piss-drinking story I had to tell on every subsequent podcast.

I had to tell it on Dr. Drew or Adam Carolla. And when I get to L.A.,. Drew or Adam Carolla. And when I get to L.A., oh, I heard you're drinking piss. So now I kind of skipped over everything because I feel like I already told everyone except my podcast. Well, I mean, it's kind of important that you save some of the stuff for your own podcast. I know. I just like you. You're like make the people that do subscribe to Patreon feel like they're getting some of the stories from you rather than skipping over them completely, hoping they heard about them somewhere else. Yeah, no, the problem was I was trying to put the timeline together of when we did our last podcast. Did we even talk about Skank Fest?

I feel like we missed a week. Are we doing weekly or bi-weekly? No, we do every other week because of your schedule when you were on the road. But weren't we doing weekly for a minute? We were doing weekly for years. No, but I mean recently. I thought we made up for one When you or I were both going to be gone

I can't remember when it was But we did One week and then we had We stacked them up We had two stacked up But that was only one week Alright Yeah

Well Last time we had a podcast Was with andy and chad on the patio for uh football all right and then i think and that's when that was right after the show at the shady dell okay yeah okay all right i got a calendar coming in once you get your cork once you get your cork board installed yeah then i'm going to put up my 2023 calendar and then i'm going to know exactly what where we're going with this year i did i did just find that it's at the studio. I looked inside the cardboard. I'm like, I pre-ordered a 2023 calendar, I guess somewhere before November 21st of last year.

And here it is. Do we jinx it? Sell it on eBay. Brand new. Unused. No dates blemished. All right. yeah let's uh well i guess you won't be hurt for the team meeting don't worry in 2024 we're going to go back to weekly i'm going to be taller i'm going to shave i'm suited up for every show We're going to have a backdrop.

I think we're going to use the, well, the plazas. We're going to start using that plaza thing that was wasted in a back hallway. You know, the giant poster from the plaza hotel, the vintage photo that 1958 plaza. Cool looking.

Yeah. I want to use that for the sports gambling one, but God, i get everything back now i just i again it's good it's going to take a long time to uh to put together but we we're we're making we're making progress what happened to your forehead before we go yeah i was wondering mishap in a haunt. What? You say hit? I hit the corner of a electrical panel that was on the wall. I couldn't see it and it saw me.

So. Put it into the show. I've hit my head so many fucking times going through. I wear this hat, this floppy like Father Mulcahy vietnam hat and it's down like this i don't see that it's a low bridge even though i made the doorway short i kept running into i had four dingers up here when tracy arrived she's like what the fuck are

you doing and i'm even though i've cut, I still can't see him because that fucking flap falls down. So, yeah. And this one was, this one was just hurrying up, just hit a corner. It was, it bled pretty good. Not like bingo when she, when she dinged her head, but it was pretty good. Hey now.

Hey now. I swear I will never do a podcast with this lighting ever again. I will check ahead of time. It's horrible. Yeah, it's the worst. We look bad. Yeah, you have overhead lighting. You just need something.

I just have the tiniest little light right in front of me. I know, but Bingo was like, oh, well, I had the shit going on over here, so we're going to do it on the patio but it's windy and then she had therapy was over so why don't you come back here don't worry i got this all straightened out by the time you get back because you're never gonna done it raider's the old place yeah but there's no internet cable in there there's no internet there oh yeah yeah okay i'm gonna get that uh going with the spark light i wish sparklight worked like direct tv where it's only five bucks extra per box

no matter where you live in the world i offered my new place but he turned me down you don't want to sit on your old used futon we're getting an echo from his place two doors down here that's how empty and decrepit it is can you hear the chains from the ghosts people are racing out of his house to get to your haunted house to feel more comfortable and get some sleep to get a good night's sleep well i'm uh i hope to go through the haunt tomorrow with a video camera i did it the other night it's just too dark but um yeah i mean i'll get some clips for the next time we do a podcast oh yeah the movie is out everywhere now i think you can rent it for like 3.99 on prime and everything else it's on a million other subscription networks i don't know how to use so figure

it out people on patreon have been commenting that they get the SD version because there's no reason to see you in HD. And I agree. And if there's a problem getting it, if you're one of the Canadian or the UK subscribers to Patreon, get a VPN. Go get one. Good goodness. A VPN. That's a great idea. that's a great idea.

I hope no one fucking puts out a link on like Reddit, my Reddit page where you can, can you steal shit anymore? I hope people don't do that. And he's shaking his head. I know he has to shake his head. That's what the lawyer does. And I'm a guy who's imploring my fans to do the right thing. And don't whatever you do,

plunk down a fucking link, even if it's going to expire. And then you have to put up a new link. and don't whatever you do plunk down a link even if it's going to expire and then you have to re put up a new link i don't know i've never been a guy who knows how to steal i'm suing you first of all i don't have time for people who don't have four bucks and if you're one of those people that jeff bezos will never get a dime for me is there any other way i can get your special from 1999 sicko because i'm not going to give jeff bezos a penny go to ebay i'm sure it's there for remember we used to do that we should go back to that because i'm you know out of work i'm gonna have to start watching my pennies but we used to figure out what well first of all no one's uh no one's doing that anymore

no one does that but selling cds and dvds yeah like these people that would have these clearance houses oh all of a sudden we're trying to sell like you know deadbeat hero for whatever 10 bucks on ebay and then they're selling for like you know five dollars and ten cents and how the and so we would have a fake account to undercut them and we could you could either buy it cheap or you could buy it yeah for four dollars and 75 cents from clearing house which is us or be a decent person to buy it from us, which is also us. Good sales pitch, baby. Anyways, it's called Road Dogg.

The Road Dogg. Not Road Dogg. Yeah, one title and you fucked it up. Yeah, Road Dogg. Sorry, I wouldn't have complained except it's such a benign fucking obvious everyone's used Road Dogg. There was tweets. Oh oh I saw your movie oh it's road dogs with a DOG Z or or wild hogs this is not like our people like Andy and Jackie Nino or whoever like oh yeah I saw it was great. Oh, you look great as Bruce Willis or whatever. Do we have a hook?

Is there a hook? Yeah. You edit, right? Yeah, they showed it at Skank Fest, and then I did Mushrooms, and I hadn't tripped in a while. And so Bingo and I were doing Mushrooms. Was that the night you were with Tom Dustin and you called me? I think we were with Tom Dustin every day.

We were doing Mushrooms every day, too. Except for that last day where i thought i was going to die from the coven yeah yeah and that was great because it was football sunday and i literally i got home after the pea drinking night and there was midget wrestling i was in the ring all i know about the midget wrestling oh do you yeah she's got video of it you don't want to see it oh the tree falls in the forest another video that i won't get access to yeah and bridget the midget was there we uh this is where i knew i was too drunk i somehow i i i plunked out of the ring when i got into the ring without anyone's invitation it

hadn't started yet and i talked to the folks you know giving them the what for and how do you do yet and i talked to the folks you know giving them the what for and how do you do and then i get out of it and it it seemed like it was the most awkward spill that landed gracefully like i you know it's a put it up and i land on my feet somehow and but then when i had to talk to bridget the midget she's a legendary porn actor. Okay. But she was on The Man Show, and I interviewed her about a thing I did about midget porn. But at that point, my drunkenness showed when I had to get down. You know, I can't get low. I have bad knees, bad ankles, bad hammies, bad Achilles, tendons,

like everything, bad hips. Everything about getting low is bad for me. And she is like two foot one inch tall. And I went down to talk to her like she was fucking Franz Kafka turned into a fucking cockroach. And then I kind of fell. The bed bug move, you of fell the bed bug move you know the bed bug I I had to get as low as with the cockroach yeah right on the point is she got on top of me I have a picture she got right on top of you straddled you oh see that's what happens when you get face-to-face with wild animals. If you've never seen her work, oh, yeah, it's dangerous.

She's a dangerous woman. So, yeah, I tried to get down low enough that I could hear her, and then I kind of fell over. I don't know. I got home, and I woke up very, very sick, and I didn't get out of bed for an additional 20 something or 30 something hours so that's i don't know you can send them just you send them the pictures and he'll put it on the patreon that's how it works right yes yes please that many things i have all these i have all these ideas uh for when we have our company meeting but every oh

yeah all right okay yep that's that's the magic yeah i don't know why these aren't on instagram like when i'm drunk like i can't take these pictures bingo why don't you send me these so i can instagram them i do you forget tweeterama them i'm not on social media you know what uh you know who died uh uh uh what was it uh 15 years ago tonight no tell them bingo tonight who died no no mother oh yeah nah she was about to say nowhere man and whiskey girl they died tomorrow that's uh that's tomorrow uh tomorrow night oh wow today today's the 11th see i thought mother was the 12th is that oh no they died the 13th i think 13th working all right whenever in 2008 whenever it was that the Oakland Raiders lost,

I think it was 33 to 10 or something. That's what you said to her. It was Saturday night that she said, I'm ready. But she didn't really die until Sunday morning. So whatever that day the football game was. You know what? No, no, no. What?

Let's sign off because you've got to cut a commercial. I know, but 2008, boom, and it is October 12th. So that's tomorrow. Okay, so Amy was the 13th. Derek was the 14th. That's enough. There's to you. There's to Mother.

There's to a couple of fans that reminded me that it's the anniversary of Mother. Nice to know someone still loves me. Cheers, Mother. Clink. All right. Love you. Bye. Take us out, Big O.

Okay. Bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.