The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#329: Gretchen Bonaduce in the FunHouse

Episode Date: August 28, 2019

Doug meets his new neighbor Gretchen Bonaduce. They talk about her ex, Danny Bonaduce, Reailty TV and buying the Greenway House in Bisbee to open as a multi-room AirBnB. Olivia Grace and Chaille are a...long for the ride. For booking info for The Greenway House – 401 Cole Avenue, Bisbee, AZ 85603 – ph. (520)432-7170.Info about The Greenway House in Bisbee - https://www.captivatinghouses.com/2017/11/29/1908-greenway-house-in-bisbee-arizona/Recorded Aug. 24th, 2019 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Gretchen Bonaduce (@GretchenBonaduce), Olivia Grace (@OliviaDoesBits), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.A big THANKS to our Patreon subscribers. Any level of support helps and we will keep the BONUS episodes coming. All subscribers will automatically have access to all past BONUS episodes.  Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast) - (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast). Thanks in again as you keep this show going.Fall 2019 Tour Dates are on the way so join the Doug Stanhope Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/This episode is sponsored by www.DougStanhope.com/store -  http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?v=oIPRYcY_Xs8&redir_token=THAI8ouIQDtnov1_-Z9N9CsULH98MTU1OTM3MjkwMEAxNTU5Mjg2NTAw&event=video_description&q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dougstanhope.com%2Fstore%2F)LINKS -The Deseret News story about Danny Bonaduce's arrest in 1991 - https://www.deseret.com/1991/4/1/18913269/former-child-star-arrested-in-beating-of-a-prostituteHomeStretch Foundation - https://www.homestretchfoundation.org/We like what they are doing over at http://www.FIRRP.org (http://www.firrp.org/) - Check it outSupport the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org (http://www.innocenceproject.org/)  Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast is this only audio yeah wow i i made the efforts put on makeup are we are we rolling have we met have you met margo yet margo she's a town legend i don't think so and i hope i haven't because now i'll be embarrassed if i have met her oh you you know if you met margo i would yes why she talks like this she's about six foot one and she's 80 years old and she is yes uh why did that what no more eating you don't eat on no goddamn podcast. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:00:48 You said you got treated to. What did I think of Margo? I don't know. What did you just say? Oh, when she did the podcast the first time. Oh, drinking. Yeah. No, she said, do I actually get into a pod?
Starting point is 00:01:04 And she dressed up for it. She had no idea what a podcast was, but she's a legend in this town. We're here with Gretchen Bonaduce. Hello. Who just moved to Bisbee, trying to steal my thunder of low-level celebrity. Yes, I heard you were making fun of me. Yes, I did I go who's this fucking Bonaduce lady trying to steal my thunder of big fish small pond action I'm so with you I you know
Starting point is 00:01:33 I was so afraid to meet you actually because you know I I have never seen your comedy and everyone that I know knows about you and wants to come visit me just to meet you. And I was like, Oh, my God, I don't think he's gonna like me. I'm kind of scared to meet him. I you told me that last night when I met you. And, and I'm like, Why would you think that? And then I, I realized I think that about everybody that doesn't go out of their way to tell me that they like me, they probably hate me. Wow. Wow. Well, see, I didn't have an opinion. I was so excited to meet you, but I just felt like you're going to be, oh, this Hollywood bitch coming in here and
Starting point is 00:02:16 thinking she's all that, which I don't. I do not think any of those things, but I thought that you might go, I don't like her. I don't need to meet her. So I'm so happy I met you. And it's like, oh, you're cool. And I'm like, oh, you're cool too. It is a weird town like that where there's a lot of people that don't like outsiders. And if you've only lived here for 25 years, you're an interloper. Yeah. No, everyone has been super kind, but I was getting some not mean Facebooks or anything,
Starting point is 00:02:48 but just like, just to give you a heads up, nobody cares about your Botox. And please don't bring your Botox to Bisbee. And did you know that you bought a toxic dump and all this other stuff? I'm like, oh my God, I'm like freaking out going, what did I do? What did I do? These people hate me. First of all all you shouldn't ever be on facebook or read comments about anything no i learned that i'm breaking bonaduce
Starting point is 00:03:10 they told me vh1 said do not read the comments i'm like no it'll be funny it'll be super funny and then when i read what people actually thought about me i was so devastated i was like oh is that what people really think about me oh no yeah no. Yeah, don't do it. Olivia Grace is here and Greg Chaley are also. Hi, guys. And we have an open mic for Bingo or Joby if you want to jump in at any point. Please do. I'm sure they're far more interesting than I am.
Starting point is 00:03:39 No, no. It's brutal. I stopped YouTube comments, anything. Yeah, you can't do it. No, I. It's brutal. I stopped YouTube comments, anything. Yeah, you can't do it. No, I can't. And I don't usually, but at first I thought it would be funny and I could handle it. And then I realized I could not and it wasn't funny. It's just mean, mean.
Starting point is 00:04:00 But here was my mistake doing Breaking Bonaduce. Hey, let's explain this for the listener that is under 40 or international. Which is probably all your listeners. I'm like, who the hell is this dumb bitch? Danny Bonaduce was known for Partridge Family in 1968 or 71 or some shit. He's a child star. Yeah. And then he went on to a storied career of anything he could do to bilk his child stardom.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Right. I was behind that, though, because I was his manager. So don't put that down. You were like the Sharon Osbourne of the Bonaduce name. I was. They even called me that, which I was flattered. Yes. Like, how nice.
Starting point is 00:04:42 You know, I'm just glad they didn't call me the John Derrick, the Bo Derrick, the, you know, Sphingali. But I kind flattered. Yes. Like how nice, you know, I'm just glad they didn't call me the John Derrick at the bow. Derek, the, you know, Sven Gali. I, but I kind of was like, I definitely pulled the strings behind the scenes.
Starting point is 00:04:52 This is a story and it's in your book, uh, uh, uh, surviving agent orange. And you read that surviving agent orange and other things. I learned from being thrown into the purchase family bus. It Being Thrown Under the Parcher's Family Bus. It's a long title.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Yes. It's very windy. I like long titles. Yeah, I do too. And the only thing that becomes a little uncomfortable is when people come up to me and go, Oh my God, you survived Agent Orange? I'm like, I think my Agent Orange is probably different from yours. A lot of Vietnam vets going, Hey hey it's about time someone spoke up about it
Starting point is 00:05:27 exactly mine was mine was a joke based on your dilemma the thing that gave you cancer yeah yeah mine's a joke on that yeah well i'm surprised i didn't get cancer you know because of the stress being married to him he was a handful so uh we were talking about this last night danny bonaduce and i was looking at the timeline in your book he the news i remember was him with a transvestite prostitute in phoenix that's correct around the same time that the legend to my fans the transvestite hooker story with me and Matt Becker. And I think maybe Danny Bonaduce was right before us. His was like March.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Summer of 91? No, March of 91. Easter. It was Easter Sunday. And I know that because my Southern Baptist parents who are on their way to church had to come take their antique cars and bail Danny out of jail with their cars. So, yeah. So I know it was Easter Sunday, 1991, whatever it was, March, April, whatever it fell on. So he like just stole your thunder.
Starting point is 00:06:38 He did that just to. No, no, he didn't. Because I moved there in March of 91. So ours was probably summer of 92. Okay. It was after I had broken up with the girl I moved there to, to be with. So you copied him.
Starting point is 00:06:51 In other words, you, you heard about, we didn't learn a lesson from him, I guess. Yeah, no, we had been married.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Um, we got married in November. Then that happened in March, April. It was so embarrassing. We were having a big wedding in May because, you know, of course, my parents wanted me to have a wedding wedding because I was their only daughter. And it was too late to cancel it, even though now we were in huge debt with attorneys and embarrassing Geraldo stories and everybody else. But on the other side of the coin, that was the era of the X-Child Star Gone Wrong.
Starting point is 00:07:27 So every single talk show was doing it. Oh, yeah, all the different strokes. Oh, yeah. Todd Bridges. Yep. Dana Plato. Yeah, Plato. And Todd Bridges.
Starting point is 00:07:39 And so that's how we were able to pay our bills because he was SAG and AFTRA. And they had to pay our bills because he was sagging after. And they had to pay you because he got fired from his radio job for a breach of contract. There was a clause, like a morality clause. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the only way we were able to pay our bills was because all the child stars were acting like such assholes that every talk show decided to do a show about it and so they had to pay you when you were on the show which is how we could pay our rent so it kind of in a way was good for us that everybody was misbehaving absurd i remember uh i think it was
Starting point is 00:08:20 screech dustin diamond oh yeah yeah i was i. He had put out a sex tape that you could buy. Yeah. And then all morning radio was shitting on him. Oh, yeah, you're so down on your luck that you had to put out a sex tape to pay your mortgage. You work a fucking 60-hour-a-week hump job turning a crank to pay your mortgage, and you're shitting on a guy that fucked a hooker?
Starting point is 00:08:50 Yikes. To pay his mortgage? He's winning. He's still fucking ahead of the game. Didn't he, like, stab somebody recently? Oh, I didn't know that. Dustin Diamond. Yeah, actually, I think he got some jail time.
Starting point is 00:08:59 He got jail time, yeah. Yeah. Well, I've met him, and you know what? I don't think being a child star if you don't have good parents is good for you i think that was danny's problem i think every child star that you've seen that has had problems did not have good parenting you know there's jody foster who's fine ron howard who's fine there's a long long list of people that are fine but i think if your parents aren't good
Starting point is 00:09:25 well those are people that continued to be successful yeah you should never have to hear yeah see you on your way back down when you're 11 right right what you do here what you do here but i also think when your family is living off you when you're a child it's so screwed up yeah so so many yeah and i also i also do think though that like so many people just turn out fucked up but when you're a child star it becomes like a thing you know there's like a whole it's amplified too because you've got people following you and it when you do something it it gets in the papers tm I mean, they didn't have that back then. But what I really think is that when you are a child star, and you come from a bad home, like Danny did not come from a good
Starting point is 00:10:14 home. His, his dad was like, super violent. Like if you read his book, you'll read about it. I think was really jealous of his career. And I think that when you are of that age and you've got the world saying, we love you, you're amazing. What do you want? Everything, everything. And you go home to a person that goes, I hate you. What you do is a step below pimping. That as a child, how are you ever going to process that and be okay?
Starting point is 00:10:40 Yeah, you have like a guilt complex about your success. But how does that work? How do you become a child star if your parents aren't behind it? It's not like I'm moonlighting. I'm going to run away from home and be a child star. I think in Danny's case, his father was a very successful writer. He wrote for One Day at a Time. What was the Archie Bunker?
Starting point is 00:11:02 What was that show? Archie's Place? All in the Family. family like yeah he he you know was a successful writer and then to have this upstart child get on one of the biggest shows he was on from 70 to 74 it was the brady bunch and the partridge family yeah and it was an era where you knew every single show that was on tv because there's only four channels. Exactly. Yeah. And so I think it was hard for his dad to, you know, deal with that, that my son makes more than I do. And now he's this famous person.
Starting point is 00:11:33 And here I am, this legit, really educated writer. And nobody cares about what I do. You know, I think it was just this kind of a weird situation. But I know a lot of child stars who had good parenting and they're fine and then the ones who didn't just did not do well you know Leif Garrett and I mean on and on there's just somebody a Corey Feldman Corey Haim that's why they created VH1 is to it's kind of like a retirement plan for all those people exactly and I love them for that yeah because you know we ended up with the show and uh what happened was the Osbournes came out
Starting point is 00:12:11 and it was just a smash smash huge huge ratings hit so everyone was looking for their Osbournes and they had Nick and Jessica Lachey, Jessica Simpson. Yeah. And then we came out on VH1 with Chris Knight and Adrian Curry, who's a really close friend of mine. Oh, my God. She's so gorgeous. Christopher Knight. Yeah. He married Adrian Curry, who was the first winner of America's Next Top Model.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Smoking hot. Who is actually one of my closest friends. She's kick-ass, man. She's kick-ass, man. Yeah. She looked a lot like Jack, our friend from Alaska. Jacqueline. She's gorgeous.
Starting point is 00:12:58 And the sweetest. If you guys met her, you would love her so, so much. She's the coolest, most down-to-earth person. She's like me she left she got out moved to montana with her boyfriend and is now like the number one avon lady in maybe the world for sure in the united states but who doesn't want to buy their avon from america's next top model well why else would you buy avon yeah uh uh, Adrian Curry, uh, yeah. You have anything for the bags under my eyes? I need a foundation. Um, sir, do you really want the makeup? Do you just want to meet me? I just want
Starting point is 00:13:32 to meet you. Yeah. But you know how, whatever reason they buy it, she's like the number one salesperson. And I guess when you're in Avon, you're not allowed to promote your, your own self on anything. So she can't even talk about it but she is like the number one avon lady and the coolest person you would ever meet uh when hopefully she'll come visit me i'll bring her because you guys will love her like such a good luck with getting friends to visit you but we'll get to that oh okay is that gonna be hard we're a little remote if you haven't noticed yeah but tucson's an hour and a half away. About 45 to the airport.
Starting point is 00:14:07 Wait, to the airport? South Tucson is an hour 45. Oh, okay. To get into Tucson could be another 35, 40 minutes to get across. I have not noticed that. I'm like so relieved with this traffic. When I go into Sierra Vista, it's like, it's 23 miles. I write on my Facebook, guess what, everybody? I'm going 23 miles. Guess how long it's going it's 23 miles i uh you know right on my facebook guess what everybody
Starting point is 00:14:25 i'm going 23 miles guess how long it's going to take me 23 minutes in la that's an hour and a half no yeah yeah for sure yeah but um because we're we'll we'll break in about five minutes here but uh i want to go back to how you met dann Bonaduce, all the shit you're tired of talking about. No, I'm not. I I'm, you know, I'm,
Starting point is 00:14:48 I'm so happy. Anyone cares like anyone in this business that is like a board about why are you in it? You know what? How can you not care that people care? Like I'm so happy they do or they don't, you know, in my case,
Starting point is 00:15:03 it's probably, but thank you for asking anyway you used to date bill hicks i'm teasing that now yes for after the break but so how did you meet danny i met danny on a blind um well it wasn't really blind it's kind of a complicated story i'll try to condense it as fast as I can. No, we get all the time in the world. I was working for an entertainment company in Phoenix, and it was my job to book people on radio shows. So whatever the guy was putting on, like baseball card shows, psychic shows,
Starting point is 00:15:37 whatever it was, I had to try to call radio stations and get them on. Well, this particular – You worked for a guy or for a company and tried to get them onto the air. Onto radio shows. And Chaley would take that, his background, that's how we know each other from back in the 90s. He was the guy you were calling. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:15:58 So I would call the radio station and say, hey, we're doing the psychic fair, which is what it was. And then Chaley would say like astrology like what are you yes like everything like um tarot cards and palm reading and then you would say well uh you know we we don't usually do things like that until a friday and it you know it's it's monday but it's awesome because it is a Friday and it's right before Halloween. So doesn't this make sense for your programming right now? Oh, shit. I thought it was 4th of July this weekend.
Starting point is 00:16:32 What calendar are you looking at? Well, our calendar happened to be coincided with Halloween. So it made it easy for me to call and go, it's Halloween. I have all these psychics. We're doing the psychic fair. We would do that we would take those people in a second and we were i was in anchorage alaska we'd take anyone wow but that that is a good morning show thing if it's a call-in yeah we do psychic call-ins all the time
Starting point is 00:16:54 yeah but uh yeah those things are totally they're huge there's like i think out of all the things you can have on that's the one where everyone calls in and wants to know you know whatever so um i was able to book a psychic on his show and then i called him oh he was doing radio he was doing radio yep he was on the radio i called his station to book a psychic on his show and i told the psychics like we were all like hanging out i'm like oh my god danny benedici is on this radio show and i'm gonna try to book you guys on it he seems really cool i'd love to meet him he sounds cool that night one of the psychics was out and he was doing like an appearance at a haunted house so she goes oh my god come here let me read your palm he goes oh shaley's other job yeah
Starting point is 00:17:40 so uh danny goes oh okay so she looks at his palm and she's like oh my god you're gonna get married you're gonna get married really soon danny's like really really and he had just gotten out of rehab and just got into phoenix and had been there i don't even know a month two months maybe oh yeah if you'll believe aa you'll believe psychics too yeah so yeah so he was like oh really well do you um well what tell me more and she's like, oh, really? Well, do you – tell me more. And she's like, well, she's really, really skinny and she has all this hair, which at the time, that described me. Like, I was like 95 pounds, big, huge Nancy Spungen bleach blonde hair. Now, you're all bald on the top.
Starting point is 00:18:18 That's why you wear that hat. No, I'm not. Look, I'm not bald. I'm kidding. But I do have a lot of extensions. I do admit to that because i'm la and we all have extensions so then yeah you you do wow those are amazing geopet extensions
Starting point is 00:18:35 so um the psychic and you know keeps going on and then goes oh he said he said, do you have a name? And she goes, Yeah, her name is Gretchen. He's like, Gretchen. I don't know any Gretchen. That's weird. So the next day, he got his messages. And I had called to verify that the psychic was going to be able to be on that day. And when he went through it, there was a message from me. He's like, Gretchen, oh my god, give me that. So he called and we ended up going on this date. And where'd you go? went to chewy's in phoenix oh my god oh red flag he must have had coupons from the radio station no because i took him because he just moved there i'm like let's go and the gin blossoms were playing oh yeah yep
Starting point is 00:19:21 and they were huge in phoenix back Long Wongs. Is that a name? Yeah. Okay, we went there. I'm trying to remember where else. So anyway, we had so much fun. And he was like, hey, let's have sex. I go, you know what? I don't really want to have sex unless I'm married again.
Starting point is 00:19:35 He goes, all right. You're a horrible person all of a sudden. I know. So he goes, really? Well, I'll marry you. I go, okay, well, then let's get married and i'll have sex with you he pulls out the yellow pages calls the minister and they come over and they marry us they have no idea we don't know each other we didn't even have enough money to pay them we
Starting point is 00:19:56 had to give them like seven dollars and quarters because we were short we gave them the cash that's a fucking great story isn't it yeah? Yeah. So we have, and we were married 18 years. So that's the thing. Like the universe is just crazy. And it puts you, because you know, he could have married anybody. He could have married anybody
Starting point is 00:20:14 who was a crackhead, who was a meth addict, but it turned out to be me. But it's not the universe that's crazy. It's you two. That's true. That's true. You're right.
Starting point is 00:20:22 He could have married anyone with quarters. Lucky for me it was me because we neither of us were going anywhere you know he had just got out of rehab and was heading really quickly back into doing drugs i was at the very best case scenario if i was lucky a singing waitress if i was lucky but most likely a waitress you know and somehow together we just built this amazing empire we really did you know he was a joke when we got married and he ended up doing a show with and look at him now disney oh no but you know when he was with me we we did well you know he did the other half with dick clark mario lopez it was a buena vista show uh daytime was that a reality show the other no no it was a talk show oh that's right i remember that
Starting point is 00:21:11 yeah and so you know the fact that we cleaned him up so well that disney would hire him he's marketable a lot yeah yeah because when we got married he was was a joke. He was on Geraldo, like, look at the train wreck, Danny Bonaduce and all the X Child stars going wrong. And right before he went into rehab, he had been hired by MTV to go down to Florida to do spring break. And it was a just say no to drugs spring break. He gets arrested trying to buy crack during that time period. And at the time, Geraldo was airing the show that they had pre-taped about him being clean and sober. Like, it was really not a good thing. It was a lot of bad. Before we break, can you tell me the details of his transvestite hooker story? Because I remember it happened around the same time as ours. Yeah, no, we were a year before you.
Starting point is 00:22:11 That's why I said you copied him. Like, you, like, must have read the Cliff Notes and go, how can we get some attention here? All right. It's, God, it's so hard to. Was he just caught in a hotel or something? No, no, no, no, no. He beat her up? Or I don't remember. No, no something with a no no no beat her up or i don't know no no no um so
Starting point is 00:22:26 we had been filming a tv show fox in phoenix gave us cameras and said film us a show and bring it back to us we're gonna air it because it's phoenix you know it wasn't like la you you could just go to a network and they would give you cameras because they needed programming so we had filmed this like crazy danny bonaduce on the loose show uh when we wrapped it was so stressful because we didn't know what we were doing you know i hear me a waitress i'm now the cameraman the sound guy like you know everything so um the night it finished i just was so stressed out and, you know, just got really wasted because drinking. I don't do drugs and I've never done them.
Starting point is 00:23:08 I was going to ask. Yeah. No. You've done what a few times? Smoked pot a few times. Yeah. And I think I took mushrooms once and I tried cocaine once, but that's it. Like, I just don't care for drugs.
Starting point is 00:23:20 So we finished the show. We were really stressed out because we had to turn it all in I went to sleep woke up Danny was gone I had the worst feeling in the world going something so bad here something is so so so wrong and bad so I
Starting point is 00:23:36 went out with my dog we had a great day through the neighborhood it was like 12 1 o'clock at night I'm stopping at everywhere that I think he might be you know uh uh there was that uh new orleans where they had the slushies you know that restaurant you know what i'm talking about no i don't okay 7-eleven i'm like hey have you guys seen danny tonight no no we haven't seen him which they lied they'd all seen him um and so i go to walk back
Starting point is 00:24:02 to my house and i see all these helicopters flying, cars, cop cars like flying by me. I'm like, what is going on? So I go back into my house and I hear a knock on the door and I open the door and it's 20 cops and they go, oh, my God, a guy that just raped a girl just ran into your house. I'm like, oh, my God, come in. That was no girl well no i don't know all i know at this time was i was gone no one was there i hear a knock the door the police are there saying a guy raped some girl and ran into your house can we come in so i'm like oh my god come in because danny was not there nobody was there yeah so all the cops come rushing in and i'm like what is going on
Starting point is 00:24:45 like a minute later they dragged danny downstairs naked totally naked and um you ever try to rape with your clothes on no because what happened i thought you said he wasn't there he wasn't he had beat the cops by a minute and i was out looking for him so So he ran in, took out his clothes. As far as she knew, he wasn't there. No, he wasn't there. He 100% was not there. So he beat the cops by literally one minute. He jammed back to the house, got in. Jumped the fence, ran inside, took his clothes off, got into bed.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Because he was going to say, I've been here all night. It's not me. Because he knew. Yeah, because they were chasing him. It was a high speed chase. Right. And so they drag him downstairs and I don't know what's going on. They're telling me this.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Danny's screaming, tell him I was home all night. Tell him I was home all night. Well, I have seen literally, you know, uh, what's the Don Johnson show?
Starting point is 00:25:38 Miami, Miami vice enough to know to shut my mouth. Well, Danny's screaming, tell him I was home all night. I'm like, I'm not talking. I need to see an attorney because I do not know what's going on now. You know, when I left, he was gone. Now they're dragging him downstairs naked, telling
Starting point is 00:25:53 me terrible things because there's a law here or at that time, I don't know about now, called Coors Confession, where they can tell you things to try to incriminate people. So they're telling me all these things. I'm like, no, no, no, that's just not. No, I don't believe that's true. And I'm like, look, I woke up. I was asleep. Nobody was here. He was gone. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know anything about this. So Danny now, after all of this is said and done, it's so embarrassing. It's like the top story on the news Geraldo everybody wants to talk to him and so you get the story out of Danny depending on who you're talking to you know there's the Howard Stern version there's the Oprah version there's all these versions which uh Johnny Brandmeier in
Starting point is 00:26:38 Chicago put together like all of his versions and played it he's like that's great which is the right version here so the version to me that he said was i was driving home i saw this lady who uh said she needed ride home i was gonna give her a ride home realized it was a guy so i get out of my car the person was like no i'm a prostitute now you have to pay me and so of course i wanted to believe that but really didn't believe that that was what it was. So I think what really happened is he was so screwed up on drugs, picked up this person who he didn't realize was a guy, got to whatever was going to happen, realized it was a guy, then said, no, this is not what I thought I was picking up. Get out of my car. I'm not that wasted. Right.
Starting point is 00:27:23 And then the person in the car. I'm on crack, not alcohol, lady. The person in the car said, you know what? You took me off my corner. Now you owe me money. He didn't want to pay the person. They got into a fist fight. In quarters.
Starting point is 00:27:37 Yep. And there was a police car around the corner that heard the fight. And that's how the high speed chase started. Because Danny's thinking, oh, Danny Bonaduce with a transgender person is not really going to look that good in the news tomorrow. So he was trying to beat them home.
Starting point is 00:27:55 So that is a story. I know that was a really long winded, but there was no way I could condense that. That's really what happened. It was perfect. And then I didn't leave because I was raised Southern Baptist and you know you're raised
Starting point is 00:28:07 to forgive someone turn the other cheek and I was not going to leave him so I didn't and you know 18 years later I did finally but you still give him the benefit of the doubt no no no that story is true
Starting point is 00:28:23 the one you believe maybe he just wasn't getting at home No, no, no. Well, that story is true. No. The one you believe. Yeah, I know. Maybe he just wasn't getting at home what he could get with her. No, he was getting plenty at home. No, no, no. And not only was he getting plenty at home, the stuff that when you're married to a famous guy, you cannot believe the skank that throws himself at,
Starting point is 00:28:42 even at Danny's level, you know? Like, he's not like um uh who's the good red pit you know but they they don't care people just want to have sex and with a famous person so they can tell all their story value yeah yeah so it was you could probably just tell people you fuck black danny bonad I know. People would probably believe you. I know. When people say to me, when they go, you're lying. You were married to Danny Bonaduce.
Starting point is 00:29:10 I'm like, if I was lying, I would say I was married to Brad Pitt. I would not be lying saying I was married to Danny Bonaduce. Yeah, I would get that a lot in the MySpace days. If this is really Doug Stanhope's page, if I was lying, would I pick Doug Stanhope to be my... Yeah, where's the end game for you on that? Yeah, no, the same for me. But, you know, he has some great qualities.
Starting point is 00:29:32 He's super smart, funny. Yeah. And we will get back to those great qualities. How you moved to Bisbee. How you used to date, as you call, Bill Hicks, after this quick cocktails.
Starting point is 00:29:56 That's all right. You chew. I'll talk. Okay. As long as you don't NPR it into the microphone. It's fucking gross. Ew, yuck. All right, I cut you off.
Starting point is 00:30:12 So was it 2005 was Breaking Bonaduce? Yep, 2005, 2006. Give me a couple of beats of what you did between Transvestite Hooker in 91 and 2005. A lot of radio. Because he did so much shit. Yeah, no, he did a lot of radio so much shit yeah no he did a lot of radio we moved from phoenix to philly to chicago to detroit i don't know what year this fits in but chaley you were talking about i remember you telling me this story before she was even gretchen bonaduce was not a bisbee thing where he would fly to a morning radio in like the Midwest, somewhere up north. Yep.
Starting point is 00:30:49 And then he'd fly to do the afternoon drive. Detroit. Was it Detroit? Yeah, it was Chicago and Detroit. He was flying back and forth. Yep. Which seems ridiculous to me. Yeah, he's a workhorse.
Starting point is 00:30:58 That's how you have 8 million miles. Yeah, exactly. That's not a workhorse. That doesn't make sense on paper. Why would you just phone? You could ISDN line. You could, back then, you would just have a phone line
Starting point is 00:31:11 that you would go direct. He was just really insistent that he had a presence in the town. Like, he so appreciated working and his fans. Like, that's the one thing about him. Like, if we were eating anywhere or whatever can i have a picture can i uh buy you like he wanted to be grateful to people and i love that about him that he so appreciated his fans but that's why he was going back and
Starting point is 00:31:39 forth because he wanted to have a presence in both cities and then eventually it became too much where we had to move to detroit but yeah it was chicago and detroit oh wow yeah yeah rough it was it was we had a house in barrington hills out in the suburbs of chicago we had an apartment in downtown chicago because there was no way he could go home you know know, between these schedules. Because when he wasn't in Detroit, then he did the ISDN line. So he had to do mornings. He was doing mornings in Detroit and afternoons in Chicago. So there was no way to drive back and forth from the suburbs. So, yeah, he just was a workhorse.
Starting point is 00:32:18 You know, he really loved working. And because he had that downtime for a long, long time. Well, he did a lot of weird shit with the boxing. Oh, yeah. Wrestling, boxing. Wrestling, yeah. I was going to say wrestling. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:32:31 He loved boxing. Do you know who Jackie Callen is? No. She was the first woman in boxing, and she managed James Lights Out Tony and Tommy Sphinx. Is that his name, Tommy? Sphinx. Yeah, Sphinx. sphinx yeah sphinx sphinx well she had a movie made about her uh called against the ropes and meg ryan played her
Starting point is 00:32:54 she kind of got him into the boxing game yeah because she was a friend of ours did a lot of charity work got him into like he did robert shapiro he fought him and um uh i think the lawyer donny osmond yep he fought the lawyer he did donny osmond he wrestled chris knight um yeah no he he was he loved to fight he has a black belt in something i don't remember what but yeah no it's it's probably like cosby's degree from temple yeah honorary no i think that chuck norris actually taught him the partridge family brought chuck norris on to teach danny karate or taekwondo whatever it was i don't know but yeah no he he was a kind of aggressive kind of guy like a guy got in his face and wanted to try to fight with him
Starting point is 00:33:45 which happened a lot i was gonna say that was a lot often for a while in the news we were talking about dustin diamond yeah stabbing someone that was probably provoked oh yeah screech you think you're all hollywood and shit people do that like they want to try to cause a fight with you and especially if they think you're down on your luck. It's a guy's version of trying to, like a girl trying to fuck a celebrity. The guy wants to fight the celebrity. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:10 It's kind of the same. It's for sure. That is true. And it's sad because if you've got a guy like Danny who won't back down, you're, you know, it's a bad situation. So I would always go, Danny, you're going to hit this guy?
Starting point is 00:34:24 Is it worth it that this guy's going to take our house? And that's how I would try to talk him off the ledge all the time. You were saying, I read a little bit of your book, and you were saying that, like, almost your whole marriage was keeping Danny off drugs. That was like. Totally, yep. Keeping him off of everything.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Yeah. You know, I mean, I was a babysitter. Drug of choice? Crack. Yeah, he was on that and drinking but you know we tried everything like we went to church we went to aa we put him in rehab like i was really fighting to help him and then eventually i realized you know what in six months i'm gonna be in this exact spot and that that's when I was like, I got to go. I can't keep doing this after... We were
Starting point is 00:35:08 married, like we were together 16, but it took two years for our divorce. So we were together 18 total. If I go back to the between the two cities, to me, I'm not trying to be a dick, but it's it seems like that's the behavior... You don't have to try.
Starting point is 00:35:23 I know, not very hard. It seems like that's the behavior. You don't have to try. I know. Not very hard. It seems like that's the behavior of someone who wants to get into situations that wants to be, I'm just saying, you're like, he's a workhorse. He wanted to work a lot, but he also got to be out and about and probably putting himself into situations where he could avail himself to some bad behavior. And I was at home with our two small kids, you know. So it made sense on paper to go, well, if I'm making double income, we can do this. But then it also got him out of the house
Starting point is 00:35:50 and away to do things. I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure, yeah. No, I mean, even when he was doing the other half, he started having an affair with a producer that he moved eight blocks from us. And because he was gone all the time i didn't know you know he was doing the other half he was doing radio he was doing voiceovers for fox he was gone all the time so the only way for him to access her was for her to be down the
Starting point is 00:36:16 street and for nine months i didn't know you know because fucking awful so terrible i mean because we i had our kids they. Our youngest was two. I'm taking care of our children, his career, managing all that. And then he was being such an asshole at the time because I think he was trying to justify what he was doing. I didn't really care that he was gone. Sure. Yeah, because I was just like, wow, when you're here,
Starting point is 00:36:44 I don't really like you so if you're gone that's all right with me but i didn't know that was the reason and he even said that to me i was being so mean to you because i i was what did he say i was being so mean to you because i wanted to punish you that i had to be with you and i wanted to be with someone else like how mean is that yeah It doesn't even make sense. Cause no, he just kept talking and they decided to stop. No,
Starting point is 00:37:09 no. I think it does make sense. I think when what you're doing is so horrible that you want to try to justify what you're doing. So you try to, you know, poke somebody to make things uncomfortable because you feel so bad. So then you can justify it.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Like, well, I did this because you're kind of a bitch or whatever. And none of that was true. I was shocked at how mean he was being. And I didn't understand why until I found out that's why. So how much of this was the catalyst to being Bonaduce? What's it called? Breaking Bonaduce. Breaking Bonaduce.
Starting point is 00:37:48 A lot. Because I wanted to do a show that was true. And I said, if we're going to do this, it's going to be true. We're going to have our therapy. We're going to talk about what we're talking about. Like, I'm not going to go to you. Oh, remember the time you said that? And then I said this.
Starting point is 00:38:04 That's what we're going to do. I didn't want any of that. You know, if we were going to go to you oh remember the time you said that and then i said this that's what we're going to do i didn't want any of that you know if we were going to i was into all that shit back then it was around then 2005 2006 you said yeah i was into i i never watched that one but i was into the surreal life i think was around yeah yep it was uh yep there's a couple like that celebrity rehab i think it was a little bit later. That was later. Yeah, with Dr. Drew. But no,
Starting point is 00:38:29 I was, I'm so proud of that show. I don't, like, I didn't realize it was catching the implosion of our marriage, but I'm really glad I did it. Like,
Starting point is 00:38:38 I'm proud of it because it's the realest show that was ever on, for sure. And I'm like, so proud that we did it you know i got so many letters from women when i left danny saying you had everything because we did you know we lived in a mansion i didn't worry about money i didn't have to explain what i was buying or anything ever and they're like and you left and i'm like yeah and i hope you do too you know because you don't have to put up with that crap you know but people were shocked that they're like and you left and i'm like yeah and i hope you do too you know because you don't
Starting point is 00:39:06 have to put up with that crap you know but people were shocked that they're like well you left him at the top most people wait till someone's starting to you know not be in a good situation but it just wasn't worth it to me you know we i i'd worked too hard to try to make a decent guy and have him pay me back that way and i tried like we were together for two years after I found out about the affair because we had kids and I wanted to try to make it work. Yeah. You know, like anybody,
Starting point is 00:39:32 when you have children, you don't want to just walk away. I mean, I didn't want to. So, but then it just was too much. Wrong crowd. What?
Starting point is 00:39:41 What? What does that mean? No one has children in Bisbee. Oh, okay. Occasionally we raise a glass on a Tuesday night where we're all hammered going, hey, you know why we're all here? No kids. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:53 No, you know, I love my kids. And that is worth every second to me, you know, what I went through. Because I have two wonderful, amazing children. And he's remarried and really happy and I'm so happy for him like I have no animosity I don't care you know I feel blessed that I ended up in the situation that I did with this man that we could build a great life together well you ended up in Bisbee I know but it's cool like that's is that a bad everybody that everyone has hey, how'd you find Bisbee?
Starting point is 00:40:26 Why are you in Bisbee? And pretty much everyone has the same story. They were passing through. I know, that's what I'm getting to. They're passing through, saw how cool it was, how unique it was, how artsy and eclectic and unknown it was. You searched. I did. I searched mansions for sale in the United States.
Starting point is 00:40:51 On Zillow. Yep. And the Greenway house came up and it was so magnificent. I'm like, why am I in LA? Why am I living in this house that is worth five, 10 times the value of this house when it's so much better than my house for the listener uh the warren district of bisbee is where the mining bosses lived when this was a mining town at the turn of the 20th century and uh so there's two mansions in this entire town.
Starting point is 00:41:26 And one is the Loma Linda. And next door is the Greenway House. Right. Which is your place. Mine, yeah. Which is now your place for the listener because you're making it Airbnb, is a 10-bedroom, 11-bathroom mansion. It's magnificent.
Starting point is 00:41:45 It is. It is really cool. She's magnificent. It is. It is really cool. She gave us a tour today. I like it better than the Loma Linda. Have you been to the Loma Linda? No, but her house is up there. That's one of my favorite houses in Bisbee. I didn't know that was named the Greenway House until I just looked it up.
Starting point is 00:42:00 But it was built in 1908 by the mining company, and they had no budget. So they said, put the finest of everything that you can in this house. Wait, they had no budget? No budget. Unlimited budget. Unlimited budget, yeah. That's the opposite. Oh, oops.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Well, I meant, yeah. They didn't have any money, so they said, spend it all. No, I meant that there wasn't a- Sp no expense yes exactly and so they didn't they put like the most beautiful things in the house and it's all original you know that's so lucky that the people that have had it before me have tried to keep at least the original area all original and i i feel so blessed you know like i was telling you guys today it's really not my house it's bisbee's house and it's arizona's house i'm just the lucky person that gets to watch over it for however long that is which if people don't start checking into it
Starting point is 00:42:57 it's not going to be long again for the listener she just put this up as a... Airbnb. Airbnb. Yeah, I have zero. The Greenway House. A week. It's monsoon season. It's the worst time.
Starting point is 00:43:14 No one, people that live here find any reason to leave. I almost did. I was like, how can I get out of here? These bugs are terrible. I'll put that up as a Twitter poll of how long you'll last. Yeah. No, but I'm like so lucky to have been able to acquire it. And it took a while because I was watching this house for two years,
Starting point is 00:43:35 watching the price drop, the price drop. I had renters in my house in LA, so I couldn't sell my house. And then finally, I just said, fuck it. I'm going to put a bid on it, contingent on my house selling. And then my house didn't sell. just said fuck it i'm gonna put a bid on it contingent on my house selling and then my house didn't sell so it has been a process but the people who lived there before you they had asshole dogs i remember that oh i don't even know that they had dogs well i remember going by there when i would walk the dogs and they would go the dogs would go ape shit and they could they had that loose wrought iron or whatever. And I was always afraid they would come through.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Yeah, I think you're thinking about probably the mayor's house right beside the Loma Linda. Yeah. Because hers is set back behind Jet Lacey's house. Who's Jet Lacey? No, the weird flower-colored one. Oh, yeah, I got to go say hi to him. Yeah, he's a good guy. You're behind him?
Starting point is 00:44:24 He talks quite a bit. You're behind him, yeah, yeah. Oh, you have a great view of Blackwell. It's on cold, but say hi to him. Yeah. He's a, he's a, he's a good guy. He talks quite a bit. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's on cold, but it's set back. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:31 And it's just a magnificent house. Oh, I don't know that house at all. It's so cool. So I have decided to make it an Airbnb and each room is a rock theme. So I have the Bob Marley room, the Beatles room, the British invasion room.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Each room has a record player so you can check out records and so i have just tried to make it the coolest place to stay in bisbee and so far like crickets nobody wants to come it's a week in the worst time of year yeah and you keep saying okay but i have to say this gatsby week is labor day all the hotels are booked out and mine isn't so you're in warren yeah that's why that's why we're selling this on a podcast because people who want to creep over my fence that's walking distance yeah well my my assistant uh is offering uh like uh lift service private so So that's not an issue. He's like, we will drive anyone who comes here and stays here,
Starting point is 00:45:30 drive them to and pick them up. I'm like, well, that's on you because I will be asleep by 10 o'clock. So if you want to do that, go ahead. But we are offering that and so nothing. So it's just scaring me a little bit because it is, you guys were there today. Yeah. Do you you think I mean I don't know if that puts you in a bad position but do you think
Starting point is 00:45:48 it's kind of the coolest place to stay? we're never in a bad position because I'm drinking and I love to tell you the truth no it's a fantastic place what you're doing with it makes it so cool like the fact that you've got like the bedrooms that actually have
Starting point is 00:46:04 a lot of them have like an attached kitchen and an attached bathroom and that you're making them like look really beautiful and cute while still keeping the history of the house. Yeah, I'll never change that. Yeah, it's very cool. Anyone that comes in and does that to a house is dead to me. Like who comes and takes a beautiful home. But that's like my house in LA. I live in Las Feliz. Every person that came through was like, oh, I'd rip this out. I'd rip that out.
Starting point is 00:46:30 I'm like, why would you do that? Like, this is perfectly beautiful in every way. But, you know, these millennials just, you know, have too much. These kids today. You know what, along with your Botox addiction. Yes, I do have that. What makes you seem older is saying,
Starting point is 00:46:50 these millennials, that's way worse than wrinkles. You think? But they do. They have so much money in Hollywood. Drop some Cardi B references if you want to see me on. I don't even know who that is. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:47:04 I don't know like uh i don't know any i don't know that either i have an 18 year old son i know brock hampton does that make me look cool no i don't have no idea i'm just saying i'm not addicted with uh you know i'm not fighting age off with a stick like you are i am fighting it off with the stick i do um suture facelifts where they put sutures in your face and pull it back up and i know it's amazing like um uh i i love that stuff and when people some of the bisbee people were like don't bring your botox here i'm like no i'm not gonna bring it here i i really don't want to bring it here but i'm gonna do it i'm gonna go to la and do it but i'm not trying to you're probably good to not we had this conversation last night where
Starting point is 00:47:45 i knew immediately one person on a bisbee facebook group made some reference we don't need your hollywood botox shit here which is why you shouldn't read comments and you extrapolated that into a lot of people here are like no one guy said it and i know the mentality you read one bad comment and you're going oh all these people yeah you're right you're right it was one it was one yeah but it did make me feel like oh does everyone feel that way and i i don't want anyone to think i'm trying to push anything on anybody you know i'm i'm trying to bring tours like when i tell my friends in la oh i'm moving to bisbee they're like where's brisbee i go first of all it's bisbee frisbee yeah and to bring more people here like that helps everybody they fucking hate again this is probably one guy. Yeah. But there's a lot of people that hate that. In 2016, Bisbee made the short list for something like, it was clickbait.
Starting point is 00:48:54 USA Today's best historic small town in America. So we put our fans on, you know, gumming the vote. Yeah. Pound on this. Make this happen. And there was a letter to the editor written in the Bisbee Observers saying, because we won this award,
Starting point is 00:49:14 I have never been more frightened to come back home since, like, they don't want this place to be known. They don't want tourists. Yeah. They don't want commerce. But it's good They don't want tourists. They don't want commerce. But it's good for everyone. Not those people. The restaurants, the stores, the hotels.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Those are people who don't have a fucking restaurant or a store. Those people that say that are the people who, and Doug has said this before, carpet-bagged here in the 70s. And then once they got their slice... I remember her fucking name now that's how angry i was she i moved here in 1975 that's when the mine closed down and all these artists and hippies carpet bagged all there's no property value they're buying old
Starting point is 00:49:59 houses for 2500 and they moved in on the backs of unemployed you know yeah yeah miners you know what the world's just absurd it's just absurd people suck fuck them stay indoors I want I want to believe the good in humanity but yeah I mean things are just kind of crazy right now in the world and it's sad you know I mean i don't even know how long we have really with all the fish dying because it's too hot rainforest we're in our 50s lady we don't have any time at all you're right you're the one who has kids and you have to worry about the future for them but we didn't fuck up like they don't have kids and that's a terrible thing to say but i'm worried like what's gonna be the future for my grandkids? Will there be water?
Starting point is 00:50:46 Will there be anything? Hopefully when you're dead, you don't care. Yeah, you're probably right. I probably won't care. We have to get to the Bill Hicks thing. Yes, because that's got to be the most interesting thing about me. I'm sure you're like, shut up. Well, no, my fans. I don't know anything about this.
Starting point is 00:51:02 When you dropped Bill Hicks. Oh, I used to date him yeah well i know danny bonaduce and no one gives a shit but yeah and bill hicks yes how does how how does that dichotomy come into place yeah bill hicks um all right here it's you were a waitress at the funny firm in chicago in chicago i remember the name of that place. Did you ever play there? No, no. Zany's was the first one I played. Oh, Zany's.
Starting point is 00:51:28 But they're old, too. The Improv and Funny Firm. Those were the three comedy places. And this was the boom, you know? 1950s boom with Milton Berle. No, no, no. This was the boom after that. The 80s boom.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Wait, we're talking Vaudeville? Yeah, we're talking about vaudeville and silent movies. So I worked at this club. Hey, can you note that, Mark? That's where I officially became drunk on this podcast. Mark. Note that. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:51:57 I'm still doing okay. I still could maybe drive myself home at this point. Amazing. Good, because Bingo left. Oh, I know. She's like done with you. You're so boring. So I was a waitress at the funny firm um which people don't understand a it's a really fun job to work at a comedy club but it's kind of hard to be honest because what happens is
Starting point is 00:52:18 people come in they slam you with 50 people at once and it's a two drink minimum so you gotta like get everyone's order, get it out, get it out a second time, and make sure everyone does it because that's the way it is. It is the worst waitressing job. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:52:33 It's fun, but that part is bad. No, as far as, all right, everyone's here right now. You either love it or you can't do it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:40 No, because it's not like a waitress waitress. And then you're going to be gone in an hour and a half. You got another show. Exactly. Or maybe it's three shows Saturday. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, because it's not like a waitress. And then you're going to be gone in an hour and a half. You got another show. Or maybe it's three shows Saturday. Exactly. Yep. That's the way it was at the funny firm.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Usually it was two shows. But then they had three shows on, like the blue show on Saturday. Saturday night. It was three. Yeah. But so it's not easy. You know, you got to get. And you have these trays.
Starting point is 00:53:01 And it's not light to be carrying 50 drinks at once and trying to get everybody doing that. So anyway, Bill Hicks, this was like the – it was Ron Shock. It was such a great time. Yeah, it was. Brian Regan, so many amazing, amazing comics. Not Brian Regan. He was not an outlaw. No, he was an outlaw.
Starting point is 00:53:18 No, no, no. I'm just saying it was the time where it was the greats, you know, when Robin Williams, like all the people. It was big, the comedy clubs in the 80s. Dennis Wolfberg. Wow, that's a fucking name that came out. Who's that? He's dead.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Don't worry. He's not listening. Oh, okay. I was like, I don't know that one. But, you know, also, it's funny that the funny firm really didn't get the A people. That was the improv around the corner. But I guess Bill was friends with the owner, so he was very loyal and would come to the funny firm.
Starting point is 00:53:52 And not zany. And he probably wasn't A-list. No, no. When I first met him, the first time he played, he was still drinking. So when I met him, he was still drinking. The next time he played, he was sober. So, you know, a few months you know after and so hang on i this i really wanted to ask you but i saved it for the podcast when you said oh i dated bill hicks yeah i was a comedy club waitress
Starting point is 00:54:19 yes would he have said should he be alive today that you dated or yeah i fucked her when i played chicago no well first of all that's the only reason i went to that fucking dump the firm no no no no um it's so funny because you didn't take him to chewies did you no i did not take him to chewies and we never had sex we never had sex oh We never had sex. Oh, that's not even dating. Cause you didn't marry him. No, cause I didn't marry him. Right.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Right. And I didn't put that law on him, but, um, I, um, never said anything to anybody because I never wanted to feel like I was, you know,
Starting point is 00:54:58 hitching my wagon to his, go, Oh, I dated Bill Hicks. So I just never said that. And then one day Danny and I were at E doing talk soup and one of the producers came up to me and they go oh my god I heard you dated Bill Hicks I go where did you hear that and they and and he said oh from Bill I'm like oh my god I'm telling
Starting point is 00:55:18 everyone like because I never wanted to say that because I didn't want to insult him by making him think I was making our thing because we never had sex. But we went out a lot like lunch, dinner, drinks. But when then he stopped drinking. But yeah, but like I was so flattered he was telling people that, you know, like that was pretty awesome. But the nicest, smartest, such a great guy. Like I was I was going to say, did he fuck you in the ass? No, he did not fuck me in the ass.
Starting point is 00:55:47 That would have been an inside joke from last night where you did another podcast. Yeah, no. Someone had asked you, do you take it in the ass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. Oh, no, I was telling you about, I said I have a good sense of humor. If you go, do you take it?
Starting point is 00:56:01 I'll go, ha, ha, that's funny. So I'm okay with you asking me that, But no, no, I've rarely done that. Just for you. I don't like doing that. I don't care about you getting it in the ass, but I knew Bill Hicks was going to come up. So I thought I'd throw that in just for you. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:56:16 But no, he was the smartest, sweetest, wonderful, down to earth. So funny. You know, even if I didn't agree with the listeners will know the the hicks fans the the classic footage security camera basically footage of bill hicks snapping in chicago on someone yelling free bird i think it was you were a waitress i worked that show yeah i was at that show and And it was just amazing. All the comedy clubs poured out because people were getting the word.
Starting point is 00:56:51 There were no cell phones at the time, but the word was going out. Bill Hicks is on fire. So everyone from Zanies, everyone from the improv, they were all just like flooding over because they were hearing that Bill is just on some kind of tangent.
Starting point is 00:57:04 That was brilliant and it was it was just but he always was you know he'd get up there and go i gotta plow through the ship one more time you know and just genius always and i feel so honored that i knew him at all and be more honored if you fucked him i know i wish i would have now that was my my biggest life mistake was not to have sex with bill hicks um but yeah how flattering that he would tell people that because i never wanted to say that you know i'm just not a person to do that and and it was a really well his was not a name to drop it wasn't even that i just never because i uh admired him so much and liked him as a person that i never wanted to make him feel like oh look she's talking
Starting point is 00:57:54 about me to try to make herself look better so you know i just didn't want to do that yeah you didn't want to exploit your connection with him not at all so when i heard he was exploiting his connection with me i was like fuck yeah maybe you're an alibi that's cool and you were saying in your book that danny was jealous of him right he was oh my god retroactively jealous like yeah no danny of any comic like any comic who was funnier than him he could not deal with it oh because danny tried he was one of those the many kato kalins there was a time when that was part of the the you would tick off the boxes you tried real estate yeah stand-up comedy he did well though i mean a lot of the managers because you know i managed his his uh career and i would book him well he had a comedy
Starting point is 00:58:46 manager but you know i had to keep the schedule and i would talk to them and stuff and they're like you know what danny put he what did they say he put he puts asses in seats and his fans drink like pigs we love him and they'd add shows that's what they say about steve-o right now yeah yeah his his show is basically telling stories which is engaging yeah and people come out and they drink yeah it's exactly the same with danny um he's really funny off the cuff like he would do like a question and answer at the end of the shows and that was always i thought pretty funny but i didn't think his stand-up was in particular but then i was so spoiled you know because i saw hicks and ron shock and uh brian regan and so many of the really, really, really funny people.
Starting point is 00:59:27 You know, that's why I don't even like to go to comedy clubs now because I don't see that many funny people. I'm kind of disappointed sometimes. The clubs are becoming obsolete. More and more smaller clubs are starting to book like more and more old school like comics that don't haven't like they're like a lot of cruise ship comics and stuff like that or a lot of the bigger clubs are booking like celebrities now like yeah sort of like influencers don't you hate that term like that's just so bizarre and stupid to me like you're i'm an influencer
Starting point is 01:00:01 i i'm not from that world. Yeah. No, me either. And I have no influence. Me either. Me either. If I was called an influencer, I might harbor a grudge. I'm an influencer. Or we'd have a sponsor for this show. Perhaps.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Yeah, but you know, how many do you have on your podcast? I heard like a million. A million what? I'm not joe rogan no but i heard you have a million followers on your podcast or whatever i have no idea a lot though yeah but you don't you know the people that need sponsors are because they don't have a following so it's kind of a um to your success that you- You really need a business manager. I don't know anything about the numbers, but I know you're wrong.
Starting point is 01:00:51 But you know what? I think numbers speak a lot for the, what you can do. I'm sure like sponsors, yes, but I think you are a standalone person because so many people know who you are and listen to your show. And it goes by the numbers, how many people listen. We have enough listeners to keep doing this on a weekly basis. So you have no sponsors.
Starting point is 01:01:16 You just do this for the- Well, we started this Patreon thing. And I don't want to get into that because Chaley will try to explain it to me and I won't understand it. So I'm just going to talk to you. That's all I do. I talk to you and Olivia and Chaley and then the end. Yeah. No, but I admire what you do.
Starting point is 01:01:35 You know, I don't have the fortitude. I've tried to do it. I've had a podcast, tried to make it fun and funny. It was all about helping local bands who will never get played on the radio. So we would bring in... You need a Danny Bonaduce in your life. I guess I do. Let's make this like the Brady Bunch
Starting point is 01:01:53 where they try to get the... Well, no, that wasn't... No, he's married now. What's not happening? Trying to get the parents back together. Oh. That never happened on the Brady Bunch. Shirley Temple... No, not Bunch. Shirley Temple.
Starting point is 01:02:07 No, not Shirley Temple. Shirley Jones. Shirley Jones. Yeah, not Shirley Temple. They're the same person. And Robert Reed. No, that's the Bradys. Oh, she didn't have a husband. No, no.
Starting point is 01:02:18 She was single. I think she was a widow. It was Dave Madden. No. Somebody Madden. The guy that was Ruben Kincaid. Ruben Kincaid. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:27 Yeah. But they weren't together. Yeah. I'm mixing up all my Brady. Yeah. I'm getting goofy now. Yeah. I'm friends with all of them.
Starting point is 01:02:35 So it just mixes. Like Susan Olsen is a very good friend of mine. Adrian Curry is very good. Yeah. So it gets so inbred. It's hard to keep track of who's who and who's with who and what show that they were with this person you showed me the uh the sizzle reel because i did one of your uh ambitions is to make the the remodel of greenway house and its airbnb status
Starting point is 01:03:01 a reality show yeah which Yeah. Which let's say docu-series because people like cringe at reality series so let's just say a docu-series. Yeah, but they watch them. Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:12 Right. What I really liked about The Sizzle is that it felt like it was a like reality show that was actually like fun
Starting point is 01:03:20 and not like cunty for lack of a better word. I don't want that. Yeah, that came through and again like i said with breaking bonaduce what i do i want it to be true like i don't need these fabricated bullshit situations there's plenty in real life you know like i just moved here they're like what are this you know when you go to these meetings isn't it don't you just want to roll your eyes with their buzzwords like where's
Starting point is 01:03:45 the sizzle uh what are the steaks it's just like so dumb i'm like you know what here is the show i just moved here uh i could lose everything it's great why are you laughing at that because of the note you got yes i know it's too white yes that is the note that i got yeah a production note yeah the guy that built most this this entire structure that you're sitting in and the fence around it and the the metal palm trees is half black and he's pretty much the diversity, Shawnee. Oh, I've got to bring this up, too. I need him. I need him on my show, apparently. Yeah, you need him to do all the fucking projects in your house.
Starting point is 01:04:33 We call him Super Shawnee because he can do anything. Awesome. You're going to have to settle for Joby in the meantime, who can also do anything, but he's not half black. Right. I need that. You can also do anything, but he's not half black. Right.
Starting point is 01:04:51 The Greenway House in the Warren District of Bisbee. It's really, it's fucking gorgeous. It's fantastic. And you have to stick with it. You show such little resolve. It's been up for a week. I know. I know. But I just thought people would come, especially with being Gatsby weekend.
Starting point is 01:05:13 That's what I'm thinking. Like, or the future. You know, you have the stair thing coming up. You have. October 18, 19 was Andy Andrist will be performing and recording his new stand-up special right here on that stage in the Funhouse. Amazing. Yeah, that's Stairs Weekend. But yeah, just relax.
Starting point is 01:05:35 Don't panic. Okay, okay. You know what? I'm a manager and from Hollywood, so it's my job to panic, kind of. Yeah, you can't do that here. You're only here, what, a few months you've been here? Two. Two months.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you've got to relax. It took a fucking year to get that addition built, and it's not done. There's still concrete all over the yard that they tore out. Yeah, it takes a while to do shit. It does, it does. And no one comes here during monsoon season people flee here i see why yeah the the bugs are relentless but um i am so
Starting point is 01:06:15 happy to be here and i'm so happy to share my house with anyone that wants to come that was another criticism like you said one person on facebook like, we don't want your Hollywood people coming here. But that's not what it is. It's for anybody. Anyone can say. Anyone that has however much I'm going to end up making it, because now I keep dropping and dropping the price to get people in. We'll talk.
Starting point is 01:06:39 You won't listen, but we'll talk. I will listen. You know, that's what my son says about me. Everyone says about you, you don't listen. I'm like, no, I do. I just maybe won't do what you say because I'm listening. I just might not, but I will listen to you. After the show, we're about to wrap this up.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Bingo, you want to do your drop live? Because we're going to make you do it. I want to close the show on Bingo because she never wants to get on the mic. Yay! But I want to close the show. We're going to get all the rest of your drops. You can stay right there. Okay, okay.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Bingo, come over here. Bingo, right here. Get on the mic. Gretchen at Gretch Bonaduce. Not Gretchen. Fuck. Hang on. I wanted to point out the problem with Gretchen Bonaduce being in our goddamn town
Starting point is 01:07:31 trying to not steal just my D-rate celebrity thunder, but one of the most famous people in Bisbee is Gretchen Baer. What's the name of her? Mariposa. Mariposa. Studio Mariposa. Mariposa. Studio Mariposa. Mariposa Studios. Studio Mariposa.
Starting point is 01:07:50 It's in NACO. Yeah, she's an artist and you're stealing Gretchen's thunder because, yeah, we're going to try to figure out how to do this. I was going to call her before you came here and go, how do we resolve this? caller before you came here and go how do we resolve this i wanted to resolve this on a podcast how because people say gretchen and you go yeah gretchen oh no gretchen bonaduce so we could call you bonaduce but that's stealing your other thunder that you stole stolen valor like twice removed you're not gretchen and you're not Bonaduce. So we're working.
Starting point is 01:08:27 We do pretty good at coming up with nicknames for people and we're going to nickname you. So you're not confused with Gretchen bear, Bisbee's Gretchen. And you're not confused with, Oh, isn't there a D level celebrity there? Yeah,
Starting point is 01:08:41 that's me. Not Bonaduce Gretchen. Maybe we call her Bonaducey Gretchen. Alright, wrap this up, honey. I'm getting a little pickled. Okay, bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.

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