The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#359: Sometimes The Day Drinking Goes Too Long
Episode Date: March 19, 2020The drinking continued after the last podcast and Doug wants to know why Chaille bailed and destroyed the screen.Get a BONUS episode each month by subscribing through our Patreon page at https://...www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast. ALL levels of support will get direct message access to the podcast and instant access to a Bonus episode every month plus all past BONUS episodes. Any level of support is appreciated. Thanks in again as your subscription helps keep this podcast going. Patreon page - (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast).Recorded Feb. 19th, 2020 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Chad Shank (@HDFatty), Olivia Grace (@oliviadoesbits), Tracey (@Egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.Covid-19 has canceled some shows so check out the rescheduled dates at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. Just get on the Mailing List so you can keep up to date for new shows.LINKS -Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast
Transcript
Discussion (0)
you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast
we're on record no this is a bonus patreon well as long as you're making the rules. Well, Patreon deserves as many off-the-record podcasts
as they've given a dollar or more a month.
I thought you were completely joking.
Who are you talking to?
You.
I'm talking to you.
You, who has made my life perfect that I couldn't live without.
Even high and above Brian Hennigan.
Who?
Yeah, I think he phones it in.
You just threw a chair over and smashed a window well you didn't really smash a window but it seemed like it and i thought you were kidding
it see i thought you were kidding and you were coming right back
what like because we were just talking about the times that we walked you
because I give you shit.
And then you tried to walk me to the extent that you walked me,
and now you're wondering what?
I thought you were kidding this time.
Other times, I like, yeah.
We rehearsed this seven times before Super Bowl, and now you're asking yeah you've rehearsed this seven times before super bowl and now you're
asking me if we've rehearsed this i saw tracy sad i saw tracy follow you into the dog shit yard
where now it's a dog graveyard
literally and chad said i can go talk him out of this oh jesus and now you're back with chad
all right so did i make you talk me out of what talk me out of what i didn't say you threw a
fucking i know there's a lot hyperbole on that because seriously i told you would not go after
me i told you exactly what was said before we came up here. You know that, Shirley. Tracy, what are you saying?
I'm a diplomat, don't you?
He threw a chair down on his way out.
I flipped a chair.
Bingo picked it up.
I thought you knocked it down.
No, she picked it up.
Bingo picked it up.
Bingo does not want any part of the podcast
except for picking up all the fucking wreckage.
Even when Doug says, hey, Bingo, do your part of the podcast,
and she still didn't want to do part of the podcast.
No, no.
And honestly, I didn't want to be any part of the podcast
that was the focal point,
and you kept pushing it towards there.
I don't know why.
I don't know why.
You keep bringing it up.
That's up to the listener to feed back who was at the fault.
I actually got both sides of the story while you were away.
Both sides of the story with me, you, and who else?
Both sides?
Well, you were gone.
He got your side.
You got my side, your side, and who else's side during both sides
of the story
well there's
other people here
Olivia Grace who we've ignored the entire time
who doesn't even
know who BJ and the bear are
I don't
I don't
is that the helicopter
you were talking about earlier?
Oh, you wish it was just a helicopter.
That might have been four podcasts ago.
Greg Chaley, I love you.
I'm sorry, what?
Olivia Grace and I had a...
I love you.
Olivia Grace and I had a long, drunken conversation
about how you're the most important person in our lives,
even when we think that you hate us,
and you flip over chairs.
Wait, who are you talking about?
Who knows?
I don't know.
Not Brian Hennigan.
Can I get a drink?
I really wish you wouldn't antagonize your guest
after I brought him back up here.
He's antagonized.
This is how long it takes to get a bartender
to come over to my end of the bar.
I'm not mad.
He's mad.
Tracy Wernit
or Wernot
only person who's
never bothered me
in my life.
Never
ever once
antagonized me, irritated me.
I can tell everyone in this room, Chad Shank, Olivia Grace, Greg Chaney.
Clearly we know I've antagonized them.
Over there, not yawning, thank you.
Do you want to go back into the questions I thought I think we
answered them all in your absence
after you after you
slammed up chairs
I need to know who
like the questions because we're sending
yeah we did we did them all
no you didn't
oh wait
how do you know what we did when you were away we did everything because Chad's We did them all. No, you didn't. Oh. Wait.
How do you know what we did when you were away?
We did everything.
Because Chad's telling me.
Yes.
We're sending gifts to all the people who ask questions.
Patreon.
Yes.
Patreon, people.
Anything on there?
No, no, no.
Oh, that's awesome.
Bingo went on mic and said I apologize
for Greg Chaley's
impertinence
yeah
there's no apologizing
for me
bingo did it
that's why she's
leaving
she's leaving right now
she went on
and said
listen
I'm sorry for
Greg Chaley
and his
unprofessional.
You're peeing.
Do it in the toilet.
For once.
All right.
So why did we start this?
If there's no Patreon questions, why did we start this podcast?
We had one more podcast we had to do.
We have a ton we have to do what's this one could be about
nothing well this is a seinfeld episode is that what we're doing yeah we're i think we're way
too drunk to realize how many podcasts we've done in a day because at one point remember when chaley
said break and he thought it was the end of the podcast, but it was the 20-minute mark?
Common mistake.
Well, not for Greg Chaley, who's on top of everything.
Clearly, you're right.
So we are doing extra podcasts because you are going to be getting ready for your tour,
and I'm going to be up in Boise, Idaho
with my brother and then going
to St. Louis for the show.
This is like the fourth podcast. I think
this will be already out by the time
I'm already
done. I hope we have
enough on the free podcast. We still have
a fucking whole month of February
to do more podcasts.
Well,
we'll see what happens.
We do?
What the fuck are we doing this for?
I don't know.
No, these are Patreon questions.
Can I get a drink?
Oh, God. That's too much.
It's a little, yeah.
I think there needs to be more vodka
in these tomato heady things
where's bingo I need guzzle monkey
oh shit there he is
you looked all over for meat wig
and he was nowhere and now he comes in
off the rails
when I wrote about
fucking Meatwig
everyone misread it
oh RIP Meatwig
I'll miss him fucking bothering
the podcast with it
now here he is
but Doug even you
were like mourning him
yeah but when I wrote about... You thought he was dead
and called...
You called
the vet
to like get in
because you said, I'm going... I just need
someone to come out and kill my cat.
And they go, do you want to just bring him
in for a check? No.
Oh.
You can't break a screen twice. I said twice. bring him in for a check. No.
You can't break a screen twice. I said twice.
Oh. See what happens?
He did gently throw down a chair.
Hey, what?
Hey, until I have to listen to it,
what happened when I was gone?
We read the rest of those questions.
Oh, my God.
The people who
submit Patreon questions
actually
we sent them something
and the paper you gave me
had no marks on it
no idea
the last three on that other page
seemed
inflammatory
and not productive to our...
Those were the end of the podcast.
I wanted to end up on like a crazy, fiery note.
Chad, are you kidding me?
I cut those as producer.
Oh, man.
As stand-in producer, I cut those.
Good job.
From the podcast.
They were horrible.
I didn't like them.
Actually, the lead-offs to our next series of questions.
Yeah, those are my guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You even drew a big X through them.
Well, because I want to save them for the next one.
I saw my dog meat wig.
Meat wig on my mind.
See? See I was waiting until you were looking
Before I threw the same beer can
Flint
And you landed on the microphone
And the cat that loves you
That doesn't know
You tried to kill it
Prematurely
I forgot shit
He threw a beer can at you until you threw that at him.
I waited until he was looking.
He ducked.
I didn't do shit.
Is this a new podcast?
I don't even know.
You called it.
It's not a good one.
Is it the same podcast?
I don't fucking know.
Listen, listener out there.
Sometimes the fucking day drinking goes too long,
and you're with us.
So hopefully you're not listening to this in a car on your way to work
in a three-hour fucking.
Yeah.
This is a party that went on too long and uh i hope this is not a new podcast
because it says we're like 11 minutes who knows so if that's fucking chaley will fix it in post
we'll see that's what he does we'll see how it turns other than walking out and slamming chairs what chaley does is makes everything work not just on the podcast at the
house building the fucking additions chaley does everything so when he does walk out and slam
chairs it's hilarious to me that's pretty fun he needs it he needs that he just that. You don't know what I need. He needed to go down and eat a vegan burger.
If I knew what you want, I'd be giving it to you.
I can sing Bojangles.
Wait.
The bangles.
Bojangles.
I'd be giving it to you.
Walk like an Egyptian.
Oh, well, I don't know.
What are you talking about? But she don't know what she needs
And the thing that other thing
Just another manic Monday
Yeah Prince
No that's
Oh Prince wrote it
Yeah
Thank god he's dead
He died in a helicopter
That wasn't the Bojangles No Fuck Thank God he's dead. He died in a helicopter accident.
That wasn't the Bojangles?
No.
Fuck.
Listen.
You kids listening to this podcast,
you're welcome into our circle,
but sometimes our circle is really fucked up.
And we've been up too long.
And we've driven too far in our own fucking psyche.
And yeah.
So if you're on your way to work going,
these guys are fucking wrecked.
Well, you're going gonna have to pause this
podcast and listen to it at 11 30 at night while you're reconnoitering everything you've done wrong
with your life and uh the baby's crying or whatever the fuck is going on yeah you could
have made different choices but your different choice is joining us
in the fun house when we're just completely fucked after days of
or years or decades of just trying to figure out what the fuck we're doing with our lives. That sounds like a WKRP in Cincinnati
went off the rails.
It sounds like a guy
who has been drinking since
Super Bowl.
Today was honestly going to be
my day to be like, I'm going to get my shit together.
I'm not going to drink until like 10.
I'll go
get some coffee.
I'll go get some
That was my yesterday.
That's true.
Tracy did bring me some good coffee.
That was my yesterday.
We called you in here hours ago with pillow marks
still on your head.
And those pillow marks are gone.
I literally have not spoken to a person
that quickly within waking up in so long.
Yeah, that was pretty intense for a so long um yeah that was yeah that was pretty
intense for a minute but that was but yeah today was like i'm gonna get i'm gonna get some shit
because like i it was like saturday finished something that i needed to finish sunday drink
yesterday drink and then what's today i did another day i thought day after I'm not doing too bad but I'm like hey this is my I gotta stream
balance my life out today
yeah it's
yeah
it's I don't know when it's gonna happen
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Yeah.
I have so much shit to do.
What's on your, like, to-do?
Well, I have to re... I have so much shit to do. What's on your to-do? Well, I have to re...
I have to do...
I have to do
rewrites of the book.
Wait, what's funny?
You looking at Doug
saying, what's on your to-do list?
That's funny.
Oh, thanks.
Okay, so you've got to rewrite the book?
Yeah. I have to have my oh thanks okay so you gotta rewrite the book yeah okay
I have to have my fucking act together
to go back on the road
how much time
do you spend on that like before you go
out on the road what's your like
do you sit with it
like a day before
because otherwise I'll forget
that's fair yeah figure out what suits Like a day before. Because otherwise I'll forget. He'll have two weeks before.
Yeah.
Figure out what suits.
Should I do this, Trace?
Yeah.
So last year.
This is a sideways curve, but listen to it.
I was driving back from Boise.
And.
Got a call from my brother,
my twin brother.
My brother-in-law shot himself in the head
in front of my sister.
And that was the
message I got.
Pulling into Vegas.
Where I was going to get a steak
dinner.
Vegas like New Year's?
No.
In August.
Coming back from Boise.
You not with me?
My brother-in-law shot himself in the head.
Are we doing a Shaylee walkout
and a Shaylee cry podcast?
No, he's going to smash more chairs.
I'll stop.
No, no, go.
Go, go.
No, fuck you.
I just wanted to do something.
He didn't know where it was coming from, babe.
Continue.
I said, can I do this?
Yeah.
I haven't talked about this
and it's been a while.
Me too.
I haven't talked about this, and it's been a while. And I'm not close with my sister, but I texted her immediately
because my brother said, this just fucking happened.
He shot himself in front of our sister.
He walked out and shot himself in her face,
in his face,
in front of her.
Yeah.
Sorry.
In her face,
in his face.
Sorry.
And I,
I don't know.
I,
I fuck.
I don't.
What do you, we all have, listen, I don't. What do you?
We all have.
Listen, I know my crowd here.
But outward, what do you do on that, right?
So I sent her a text that said, this is your brother Greg.
Because I had to differentiate between me and my brother because we're twins.
I don't know why.
But I wanted to make it nonspe. But I wanted to make it non-specific.
I wanted to make it specific.
Not sure what's going on, but I'm here if you need to talk.
And this is when everything went down.
She goes, thank you.
I'll call you in a bit.
That was August of 2019.
Yesterday.
First contact since.
Funny story.
Sitting here with my friend and she puts on your podcast and she says she's listened to it every week.
Cool, huh?
First contact. cool huh first contact from the sister
first contact
since
sister-in-law
the guy I went to
junior high school with
oh brother-in-law
sorry
my
yeah
and I go
Tracy
how do I answer this
my answer was
yeah cool what are you what are you gonna do right it's been so much time How do I answer this? My answer was, yeah, cool.
What are you going to do, right?
It's been so much time.
There's been no contact.
And then she says, I told her that you're my brother,
and she's about that shit, LOL.
There's been a funeral. There's been a funeral
there's been shit
and now she tells me about my
niece my niece is getting married
I don't
are you fucking kidding
what the fuck
I
I know all of us have different
things on that I have different things on that.
I'm so confused on that.
Why?
There's nothing, right?
Why am I looking at Chad for empathy?
I was looking at Olivia.
I'm like, just say something.
Olivia, didn't you have some fucking weird story about this last night?
Maybe.
Do you remember?
No. Like what? Like about getting a text out of the blue suicide or fucking people that weird family people that
i don't know nah but listen thanks i've wanted to talk about this so much because it is,
that's like our podcast is that thing where we can talk about those kinds of
things.
And there's been no,
there's been nothing.
There's been,
and then this,
a fucking funny bit.
Like,
it's like,
so you don't mean there's like nothing,
like there's no gore.
There's no like the the deep
dark thing of like someone's killing themselves there's no like i need to talk to you there's like
oh well by the by someone listens to your podcast and said you're one of the guys she listens to
there's nothing there did it come up in your phone with the old text of what
you found out and then no no the last one was me saying hey i uh what's going on uh i'm here i'm
your brother yeah and the next one is next one is like oh so weird i was at a coffee glad you know
all of a sudden someone said the dog's dead dead. Or maybe the issues with Andy podcast.
Either one.
What podcast?
Which one?
That would be funny,
but I didn't want to go funny.
I wanted to go supportive.
Yeah.
That's the only thing she's ever said.
It sucks.
I got so weird at one point.
The only person I've ever admitted that that whole thing happened was to backdoor.
And I have no idea why.
He says something.
Oh, it's because the person that we all know shot himself.
And then I thought I had to say something that was on level.
So I admitted about my brother-in-law killing himself.
Because I'm on the spot.
I was on the weird side.
Did you know your brother-in-law?
Yeah, since junior high.
We'll leave it at that.
Extended family is something that's weird to me.'s not extended i knew exactly who he was yeah
but i'm saying for me but so you knew that person like oh you knew him before he was part of the
family which is fucking know those people right in fact i knew him so much that I knew his mom and his stepdad.
They were so fucking awesome.
And I didn't understand.
I know that person.
I didn't understand.
The thing is, fuck.
Hey, Tracy, give me another screen.
I'm going to break one.
We understand our collective circle, right?
Written extensively in the book.
And you like the people.
You pick and choose those people, right?
Family.
And then you go outside that circle to another circle.
And you go like, oh, I like that person.
I don't like that person.
I like that.
And there's a lot
more likes there's a lot more dislikes than likes these people were like the like likes like the
like i want i want to i want to get you in a corner bro and talk to you and this was about mom
and oh my god they were so interesting he was a helicopter pilot during the rodney king
incident and he was taking the chief of police out of la in a helicopter and like doing he was
so fucking interesting and the only thing his son-in-law could do is talk over him at every
barbecue and i'm like oh my god i just want this guy to talk i just want
him to keep telling the stories and you don't get that it's like uh ron and gay you get them alone
and you're like just fucking expound keep going keep going and that's that's family. I'm going to say this quickly.
Do not, not put this podcast out.
Because you're going to think, oh, I was drunk and I said shit.
But this is stuff that matters to our listeners.
People that reach out to us.
He's making me the bad guy right now.
No, no, no.
I put everything out.
I've not put two things out.
Manson and the Tom Dustin.
No, he's not making me the bad guy.
We don't listen to the podcast.
Listen, guys.
I'm not that fragile.
I'm saying.
Relax.
No, I'm saying you're the one who edits this and puts it out.
And don't take this out because this is the shit that matters to
fucking listeners where like
oh wait this is fucking
heartfelt shit
so please don't take this out
because it was you. Listen a lot of people don't
have their friends who get really
drunk and then just
espouse shit all over them
and they need that in their lives
and we provide that service where we just get really drunk and espouse our shit all over them and they need that in their lives and we provide that service where we just
get really drunk and espouse our shit all over them i try for telling us that i try to do that
for both of you when i get emails like hey this mattered a lot to me because of whatever and I try to remember to forward those emails
to you two
you three
sorry
we're all forgetting
Olivia race is here you know it's alright guys
you guys are having this is
this is you guys this thing
Olivia's mic on
I didn't know.
She keeps talking too much.
It's why we hate her.
I would be remiss if I didn't say,
stop the fucking, like, please put this out.
I put everything out.
There's very few things that don't go out.
None of us listen to this because we all hate ourselves, you probably do too but you have to listen i
have to yeah but please put you know when it gets fucking dark and weird make sure you put that up
because that's what our fucking dark listeners in their fucking darkest times i'm going to take a sip of my wonderfully crafted Bloody Mary
cocktail
I'm going to say hey Doug do you think I pick
the one podcast that I would
like trash
to bring out the only time I've
talked to my sister
in a couple of years
you don't think I would like I want
this if it was me
or Chad I'll leave Olivia out of this because I don't think I would... If it was me or Chad,
I'll leave Olivia out of this
because I don't know what she would do.
But Chad and I would definitely go,
Oh, I was emotional.
I'm going to get rid of this.
Fuck this.
I sound like a dildo.
But you don't.
You sound like fucking...
So, Shaylee, you sound like a dildo.
Put it out.
You don't.
You definitely don't. definitely know we would think that
keep saying i have some kind of fucking like where i have some fucking kind of like barometer
where i want to go like oh this will make me feel like an idiot i've been on tour with you doug
i've done plenty of things to make you look like an idiot i'm not worried about this do you ever
have moments though where you're like oh shit shouldn't have said that all the time really still goes out okay
never edit it respectable good work absolutely yeah listen thanks for not making us listen to
this podcast actually you guys don't have to because i listen to it with a critical ear
to where like even when like like Doug stammers on something,
I'm like,
he would get mad if I took out the stammer because Doug wants it to sound
real.
And that is literally what I do when I edit something from the podcast.
It's because your stupid fucking six year thing of like,
you have 24 hours to regret what you said,
which we don't do anymore.
We stopped.
And that is the number one thing that helped me edit these things quicker. You have 24 hours to regret what you said, which we don't do anymore. We stopped doing that.
That is the number one thing that helped me edit these things quicker.
And Patreon, I don't have to edit shit.
Of all my years and of all the dumb shit that I've said,
I have only one time ever only recently asked Shaley to just remove something,
and he did it, and it was not even an issue. And you know what?
You are 100% right in that I probably would have done it anyway shaley to just remove something and he did it and it was not even an issue and you know what you
were 100 right in that i probably would have done it anyway yeah because what you said wasn't a
funny yes or too relevant to what we were talking about and what you said was something that no one
would notice i thought you were gonna say it i. I was like, oh, I successfully solicited
the Edison Mountain and he says it?
No, I was right.
Get it in and out.
And you only get a couple of those, bro, by the way.
And I've, of all the years we've been doing this,
one time I've ever asked.
And you were 100% right.
And you were 100% right. And you agree I was right.
Because he's an asshole
and he doesn't need to be beat up on.
He doesn't need to be beat up on.
Fucking guy.
I'm telling you.
He's an asshole.
Doesn't need any more ammunition.
And that is the thing.
There's no editing that's going on
unless it's egregious, clearly, or it makes sense.
Or when you do fucking four podcasts in a row.
It is almost 6 o'clock.
Almost 6 p.m.
Oh, my God.
Imagine you stay drunk so long that you start to get a hangover.
Oh, I did that last night.
I was on my third drunk, and I was getting the booze shakes while I was drunk.
Well, keep getting them now because we're only at 30 minutes.
Well, we don't even know what number podcast we're on.
Why do you need to know a number?
It's evergreen.
I don't know.
I keep sniffing into thegreen. I don't know. I keep sniffing
into the mic. I'm so sorry.
I keep getting tweets
about it. Every time I catch
myself doing it, I go,
God, I hope Greg Chaley cuts this out.
I don't.
You only get so many of those.
No, you don't. But that's weird.
You do have things you've said on here that you're like,
oh boy.
I cringe. Because I know i'm the only one who listens to it and i'm listening to it four times to go do i need to get rid of it do i need to and i just don't right because someone
had to listen to the worst podcasts ever doing due diligence for this book and daytona where we did 16 podcasts
10 minute podcast yeah 10 minute podcast some of them lasted 40 minutes my favorite was and i just
kept saying the same thing i think the room's on fire because you you and the manager were smoking
so that's not on a podcast.
I was hoping to find that on a podcast.
No, no.
He said that at the bar downstairs,
but the podcast we did right before that.
That girl, I was going to save her life.
Yeah.
Never heard back from her.
That's never on a podcast.
All I'm doing is repeating the exact same story shit-faced.
It was terrible well that's a way to promote it but yeah so yeah I've had to listen to the podcast you had to listen to and I I I
sympathize with the fact that you had to put those out where I go I'm a fucking awful person
to be fair I think we got better.
But not that weekend.
I believe there was cocaine involved in Florida.
Yeah, better.
Part of the problem.
Not enough.
And sushi.
Cocaine and sushi.
That's the only thing that I pulled out of that.
You guys were way more fucked up because you guys were doing fucking not maybe you, but Rouse and Andy were doing heroin and fucking.
No, no.
That was on the road before they got to us.
Hold on.
Hold on.
It's already on a podcast that's out.
No, we were doing heroin a different time.
That happened after it.
That was on the road before.
It was before.
That was on the road before they got to us.
On their way down, Junior Stopka was the voice of reason
and the driver in a fucking 1994 Ford Tempo
that he just bought from a fucking guy at the bar.
And he's driving them.
Yeah.
He drove a car from Chicago to Fort Lauderdale
to drive them on the tour from Fort Lauderdale to Chicago.
Yeah, I put the best of that.
Like, I was a complete blackout for that whole time.
Chaley left me a note that I needed when I woke up because I don't remember the flight out there from Tucson to Daytona.
And he wrote, you're in room 621. You're in Daytona beach. And he left me a bag of fucking gummy, gummy candy.
And I, I woke up and I didn't know where I was. And I read the note, you're in Daytona beach,
you're in room 621 and I needed that
because I really didn't know where I was
we knew that because we intercepted you
when you got there
well the main thing is you would get up in the morning
and probably go to breakfast
and not even look at anything
and not know where you're at
as some fucking weird
waitress and I'm not going to save her
life
oh my god that fucking yep
and then the manager is smoking that's not we're taking the service elevator down
because there's less of a wait because remember there was only one elevator
and taking all these new yorkers up and down to all these and then someone said no take the waitress take the service
yeah I think she
might have been using me
anyway
it was
it was a good run
that none of us remember but I
did listen to all
16 podcasts.
Unlistenable.
I put that in the book.
Do not listen to any of these.
I feel bad for you.
But everyone else was doing so many more drugs than me.
I did a little bit of blow and a microdose.
I forgot our friend from, I'll not mention his name,
but the Burning Man guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, he was holding our money.
He gave me the microdose.
So I did a little bit of microdose acid and some blow,
but other people were getting into fist fights and
outside of fucking open mics that i don't remember doing and us ditching people and i only know that
from the podcasts we did where i just kept saying the same stories over we were doing 10 minute
podcast we were doing uh i think we did 15 podcasts 16 16 yeah i listen
to all of them they're fucking awful why were you guys why so short well we were trying to do them
constantly we were there for three days we were there oh okay so you were just like doing gorilla
yeah yeah sean rose shows up let's do it by the way they were very they were very good don't
listen no they're fucking terrible they're good listen to him. No, they're fucking terrible. They're good. Listen to them all.
I listened to them.
It was embarrassing.
Me.
Because you're listening to you.
Completely me.
You're not listening to what you're saying.
I agree with you.
Everyone.
I know you would.
I was saying the same story over and over again.
I wouldn't know because I haven't listened to those,
but I do know that there's been podcasts that we've done
that have gone out that I was like,
I'm pretty good about how that went.
And then I'll listen to five seconds
of me talking and then be like, oh.
Because you're listening to you.
You listen to the podcast?
I've done it twice. I did it
once on accident where it
ended up playing for some reason.
It was like you had just tweeted it and it clicked
onto just my laugh.
All these years like just the timing
of it and it was like all these years and i do not listen to the podcast so get better at what
you do that's exactly what i was saying there's been times where i've listened to uh i listened
to it on purpose to be like okay well how do i really come off on this and then that was just
like oh god i really but that's that goes back to you taking things out though is it's like i would
the point was not me taking things out no it was me not taking a lot of things out that was my
point that's not what you said yeah it's like it goes it goes back to you taking things out it's
like i've said things on the podcast that i've been like oh shit like that didn't sound great
but i would never go like,
take this out because it's too,
it's like,
Are you going to be a pussy like Chad?
Well, I should just be,
well, one, I should just be like,
I'll just be better at it next time.
And also like, if it was bad enough,
you would anyways.
Yeah.
I wish we didn't fight.
Someone tweeted me like,
hey, why don't you slap Joe Rogan around?
When he just called you a pussy.
Oh, that wasn't you.
It was Rogan.
But same rules apply.
Why don't you slap Joe Rogan around and get him on board with this fucking Andrew Yang?
Yeah, really? i'll slap joe
rogan around that's like saying slap fucking chad shank around yeah probably not
yeah yeah yeah we gotta yeah i mean, entertainment is a fucking, it feels like the Wild West as far as what this is, or entertainment and shit.
But everything else, and everything else feels like the Wild West, too.
Getting toilet paper, driving, you know.
And it feels like it's going to break weirder, too.
So it's like, yeah, the more we do this, the probably, you know.
I look at these pictures of all these empty shelves,
and I tell you, having all these bullets
makes me feel very comfortable.
That's a true thing.
That's a true fucking statement.
I like it.
I feel like that antique gun
that's missing the middle piece
is not as good of a bluff
as it was a week ago.
I felt like some tough talk and waving that gun around. Maybe I'll have it was a week ago. I felt like some tough talk
and waving that gun around.
Maybe I'll have it in a bag
or wear a members-only jacket
and keep it in the pocket.
Hey, everybody.
It's me, Brett Erickson
from the Issues with Andy podcast.
We love you, Killer Termites,
and we hope you'll tune in and check us every Friday. Issues with Andy podcast. We love you, Killer Termites, and we hope you'll tune in and check us every Friday.
Issues with Andy on YouTube.
Yeah, it's not a podcast, right?
Isn't it a vodcast?
You're right.
For once, Andy, you're right.
It's a vodcast, which means it's a podcast fueled by vodka.
If you love the shit you're getting here on the Doug Stanhope podcast,
get more shit with us
on issues with andy on youtube every friday and yeah well you keep listening and watching or
however you do it and we'll keep shitting How are you?
What?
Is it, uh, Chad, how are you?
I'm drunk.
Okay.
I'm incredibly drunk.
I'm shit-faced.
I don't have nothing to contribute whatsoever.
Listen.
She's done very good work, Tracy.
We did this many podcasts in a row and we're still talking.
Because we've done single podcasts where I'm sober to shit-faced in an hour
because she over-serves.
So she's done well.
We, we, oh, she's back in the room, sorry.
We can talk about her.
Nothing.
We can talk about her behind her back in front of her face i've said how much she over serves and she's she's like no way emphatic on like i'm
serving you one shot but she's not she's she's free pouring and i'm not we don't want that
we want we want the tracy bar she just over served you with a can of can of beer and
i think there's i think she put a shot shots of fucking vodka in it we don't want a tracy that is
totally rigid and like giving those were the days.
Those were the days.
Oh, my God.
What did you do with your words?
Boys were girls and men were men.
That's how we get around the copyright thing.
See?
Yeah, by fucking up the words.
And confusing Olivia Grace.
All right, Doug.
Hey, five more minutes and we can call this one.
Wait.
I don't have five minutes in me.
Let's just sit here and wait. No kidding.
Let's wait it out quietly.
This is a free one.
This is Olivia Grace.
Olivia Grace wants to let's
wait it out quietly with with the rest of everybody else what about olivia grace five minute
at olivia does bits hey olivia what's your uh podcast huh olivia's doing a podcast i started
when i'm put it out yet though
What's it going to be called?
It's going to be called Olivia Has a Travel Show
A little wordy
Oh the Doug Stanhope Shot Clock Podcast
Is it a mouthful of words?
Oh some fucking guy
Emailed me
Hey I'm just catching up on the
Doug Stanhope Shot Clock Podcast You said you wanted to come back to Canada Wait Hey, I'm just catching up on the Doug Stanoop Shot Clog podcast.
You said you wanted to come back to Canada.
Wait.
Okay.
You did that here twice.
But Shot Clog podcast, we did for like eight episodes in 2016.
All right.
Just don't talk back.
Don't say bad things. i've been trying to be positive
that's weird i know that you came to that realization yeah like i should but no
like chad shank sometimes you wake up and you want to yell at people and uh i i've i've been good about not doing that and i i've been good
shannon you remember shannon yeah we're like oh hey we do actually make a difference in people's
lives that's why you can't edit out your fucking actual pain yeah we go through some shit and people respond to it and all sorts of fucked up
people email us and i try to share that like yeah we're fucking making a difference
by sharing all the fucking ugliest parts of ourselves.
So, yeah, don't edit it out.
Two more minutes.
Chad, you should have just done the stretch thing.
No, that's Ashley.
Like non-audio?
That's what I got.
I thought it would be funnier if I just announced it right now. I've had a number of references to the gal who contacted you.
Oh, wait.
So have I.
Sunday.
Wait, so have I.
In that people have said that I should start the sad fat fucks dating app.
Oh, yeah.
Which I have termed
called Trundle.
It's a mixture
of Tumblr,
Bumble, and fucking Bramble.
No, it sounds like a fat person rolling
down the hill.
Why run
into rejection when you can
trundle into love?
Dude!
You have an elevator pitch
to a fucking dating app
based on fucking
all sad fucks.
Yes.
Nobody wants me.
Go on trundle. Nobody wants me
either. Software's already out there.
You can...
Mike already
started looking at it.
I'll do it.
Prisoner Mike.
You think I can read that right now?
Trundle. Try it before
you die it.
Oh my god!
This is so good!
That's so good!
Trundle. The penultimate solution.
For the record, penultimate means second to last.
That is so fucking great.
That's so good.
I don't know if this was on the Tom Dustin podcast,
but Tom Dustin had penultimate means the second to last.
But the third anti penultimate is what he told us was third to last.
Tracy's already trying to chime in with her fucking knowledge of English,
but she's not on a mic ever.
No,
with her fucking knowledge of English, but she's not on a mic ever.
No.
That's why I am voting for Olivia
to be on the Mount Rushmore.
Well, I'll get it.
I got it.
I got it.
No, it should be Tracy.
Someone sent us a lavalier mic.
Yeah.
Someone sent us a lavalier mic for Tracy,
but I just haven't done it because...
No, you used to put it on her.
I did.
She doesn't like it.
No.
And she wouldn't talk. You talk about me like i'm a pony i put that bit in her mouth she just didn't like
she didn't take to it so we put her she's pulling the plow if you can't hear tracy it's because
she's not wearing the bit in her pony mouth they said a a good one. It was actually a good one.
You're just telling them
fuck off.
Put it on me anytime.
Put it on me anytime.
Got it.
Come anytime.
We're going to have to listen to some
soul music now after I hear Tracy
say put it on me anytime.
We got to listen to Marvin Gaye.
We must be. I'll play Come Anytime.
Two minutes must be up
by now. Yeah, we're out.
You're out.
We'll talk to you from wherever I am
next.
Where are you going next?
Where do you go?
This is
you're gonna be in fucking uh i'm drunk just say something
about bingo bingo left no she's gonna have her do this have her do that oh hey bingo take us out of
here okay bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់� how does it work for anal