The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#400 : The Incredible, Edible Doug

Episode Date: July 10, 2020

Doug figured if one edible was good, two would be better. The result is our 400th podcast. Thanks for listening.Want more Stanhope? Subscribe at https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast to get an extra BONUS podcast for as little as a $1 a month. Plus, video, insider communication with the podcast and more.Recorded July 4th, 2020 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Nickelback Mike (@Nickelback), Chad Shank (@hdfatty), Tracey (@Egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille. Doug's new special, "The Dying of a Last Breed", is out now on Vimeo.com - https://vimeo.com/ondemand/thedyingofalastbreed. The AUDIO ONLY is available on Amazon at https://amzn.to/3d7MFjv .We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/.  When we know, we'll let you know.LINKS - Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ Nickelback Mike plays bass in a band called Nickelback - https://www.nickelback.com/ @NickelbackSubscribe to Chad's Twitch Stream by using your FREE Amazon Prime membership option. Just go to Chad's twitter (@hdfatty) for a link and instructions. Thanks.Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant Photo Credit - Brian HenniganSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Thanks for tuning in. The podcast you're about to listen to was taped yesterday on the 4th of July, where I thought maybe if I took an edible, it would give me all that funny feeling that I've had for the last few weeks of consistently taking edibles. Laughter, funny jokes, but then I took a second one before the podcast. And yeah, all those thoughts in my head. It didn't work out so well as far as I could tell it. But it has some moments. So we're going to air it. Chaley, you'll pare it down to the best of that podcast. No, no, whole thing.

Oh, the whole thing? Words and all. All right. It's 400. I like it better that way. You know I like it better that way. God, I just read half of the Sunday New York Times full of shit that made me want to get on the mic and just do it over. But now I think we should just put out the awful version.

We can do another one because we've got a Patreon that's due. Thank you, Patreon subscribers. that's due. Thank you, Patreon subscribers. And if you're on Patreon, you get a bonus episode a month for the low, low price of a dollar is the minimum subscription. All right. Well, cut to the video.

Let's see what happens. You're listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. Good morning, USA. How does it feel? This is a 4th of July podcast. I'm under the influence of two edibles, so you guys carry this. But I wanted to read this because...

Chad, isn't that a great way to start the podcast? I'm here in spirit. You guys do the thing. I know I'm the... The titular Doug Stanhope is checking out right at the beginning. No, I'm going to chrysor the shit out of this. I'm just going to sit here and giggle.

It seems like something that could have been put in a text message earlier, so we knew. That's all right. I read his tweet. I knew he was edible, though. Hang on. I can't see you. I need readers.

Okay. So we have a friend, Doc Mark. If you read the book, the first book is dedicated to our friends, the doctors up in Tucson. Well, he's been working the emergency room up there in Tucson. And he's kept me updated. And I tweeted him, texted him, good news. I read on Twitter, some guy said Corona is fake.

Sleep in. And Doc Mark wrote back, Shit. Do you mean to tell me that I've signed death certificates for a shitload of patients who weren't dead? Fuck me. I guess people can't exist as facultative anaerobes after all. Parentheses.

Those are organisms that get by without oxygen. Like the poor bastards with the fake disease that was supposed to have magically vanished by Memorial Day. All had to do before I watched those hearts stop beating. I'll turn off my alarm clock for the morning. I'll enjoy sleeping and knowing that not a single person will die from some bullshit hoax that left-wing radicals schemed up just to fuck with the American president. Going so far as to kill innocent people all over the world, no less.

Just to fuck with him. He must be one very important and bad motherfucker. I'm pretty sure I've seen his wallet in a movie. That's Doc Mark. That's the front line guy trying to keep fucking people alive and still can take time out to write that

screed with his thumbs. Having not slept in three days and still comes up with that. What a fucking beautiful man. Yeah, we lost it. We're getting a little bit overrun with the vid here in Bisbee, Arizona. There's a couple people quarantined on my

street. We have insider knowledge. That was two weeks ago we found that out. Yeah, but I found out they were both in the same house. Anyway, and yeah, we evidently lost one of our respiratory therapists at the Copper

Queen Hospital is what I've heard. It's been verified. Like they died? Or they just moved to another hospital no they're not catholic priests so yeah that's your covid report right off the top

now we'll move on to other shit I'm reading Mishka's in town. You know, there's social distancing as far as the CDC. And then there's, you know, on a personal level, you might want to social distance a little bit more.

So he's down the street. Super social distance? Yeah. Is that what we're talking about yeah like if this was regular social distance i'd let you on the property but we're under a veil of super social we're going metric for independent state double secret social distance that's uh that's why i had to hurry home from Bisbee so I could log in into Skype so I could podcast with you guys today super social distancing so anyway

I'm reading this book Mark Lanigan Screaming Trees Sing Backwards and Weep is the name. It's a fucking brilliant title. I don't know what it means, but it sounds really cool. If I was a young man, I would read that at a coffee shop next to a girl and hope she noticed the great title and said,

wow, that sounds really interesting. And I said, well, you should hear some of my jokes. I don't think I'm going to be a little bit off. My point being, I'm reading the Screaming Trees book, and what happens is... The lead singer from the Screaming Trees. Yeah. But fucking we know Mishka Ghost wrote the fucking thing.

And I forgot about that until I saw his fucking dumb name in the book. Like in the book or in the credits? Yeah, like in 25 pages. And I'm enjoying the book. And then once I see fucking the wind blew it to acknowledgments. And I saw Mishka. Did he have his shirt off in the book?

Did God tell me not to enjoy this book in the sun? And then I just kept looking for flaws in it to fuck with him. Which is really, I on 43 pages in but there's no timeline like has this been four months or 10 years you have no fucking idea but i did bring it out when mishka came by from a distance and i said yeah i'm reading this book you ran really quick you ran into the house so you could have it out presented like oh yeah it was just that's laying around yep i did that and then uh you said what do you think i said wait till you're the podcast he's like oh god damn it that's not good but then i went that was my only critique was uh his name is on the book and timeline.

Yeah, that's it. What's on your list? What have you kids been doing? That's why I don't take fucking phone calls because you just say what's new. Nothing? No. Don't call me no let's just sit here it's weird that I can't see Stanhope so this is odd

oh shit I'm sorry hold on a second I'm just staring at Shaley while Stanhope talks oh wait yeah I could I'm just staring at Shaley while Stanhope talks. Oh, wait. Yeah, I could talk while he's doing that. I forgot that.

They're doing fireworks for some reason tonight, which is fucking vulgar and absurd. I don't know. Look at what fucking it costs to do a fireworks display in Bisbee when everyone's unemployed and this place is a fucking tinderbox of dry brush how's that chad well now i can't see you but i can see uh for tracy but at least it's a better view i look the same yeah they're doing uh fireworks in sista tonight, too, and I don't understand the logic in it.

Morale. You know, the morale of the what? We should have started our own fucking parade. The 4th of July parade just goes around the Vista Park right there. Does it? We could have just dropped that. I thought 4th of July started up Arizona Street further. At the four-way stop.

Crank around back to the four-way stop. It just starts there? Yeah. But we could have just dropped that. I mean, we could have fucking 10 cars on the road ourselves and then drop it on Facebook. Like a flash mob. We should have flash mobbed a fucking 4th of July and just gone in circles

for this is starting to sound like that time. We all went down and followed you to go lick a doorknob at Olivia's. Yeah. That was before coronavirus torches. Dangerous. Yeah. Oh, we were a bit more flippant in those days. Yeah, that was before coronavirus got fucking dangerous. Yeah. We were a bit more flippant in those days. Yeah, everybody had it back then.

It's like a cold sore. I don't have shit to say. This is 400. You called this meeting. I know. What happened to your guests? I took the second fucking edible. I thought I'd be hilarious because I've been hilarious a couple times over the last few edibles.

And it's just not there tonight. Tell me about it. It's just not here. I could go back to shitting on Mishka Shibali. I was inspired during that part. We tried to get fucking Inman on this via Skype, but I won't give him my number. And he's blocked Chaley on Twitter. That was our only recourse to get to him, was Chaley DMing him. I mean, hat in hand, I really need you to, I could really use

your help. We had a cancellation, and this would be really good if we could just get you, but I don't know how to get in touch with you. You've blocked me, and the only number i have is skype of which you have nothing to do with oh yeah you had to send that via skype message to send him a skype message which i don't have aol instant messenger anymore i couldn't direct message him so yeah i i a week or two a couple weeks ago, I guess, I noticed on Twitter, I hadn't seen Inman or heard from Inman or anything anymore, and I searched his name and clicked on it, and I was not following him, nor was he following me.

And I fucking was like, well, that's weird. I know I was following Inman before, but sometimes Twitter will unfollow people or do weird shit. So I tweeted out to be nice mostly and let everybody know. I said, I thought I was following Inman, but apparently I'm not. Maybe you're not following him either, so you should follow him. A little while later, he responds and says, no, I fucking blocked all of you guys a while back. And I guess it unfollows me from him if he blocks me right away.

Well, I think I told you this once. I remember going to your profile and where it says follow, it says pending. Weird. It was a while ago. There's a lot of fucking dead air right here. I've got a program. I like it. Let's just sit here.

I'm good with it. I'm very fucking hungry. You take a dinner break. Oh, hang on. Let me read this. Let me read some ad copy. No, we should do that separately. Okay.

That goes separately totally different. All right. I'll be better later, I guess. Well, no. I'll probably have to edit a lot. We have an ad copy to read, and I've got to submit it. Oh, I've got time. I can turn it in tomorrow. But it's a trade, so and I've got to submit it. Oh, I've got time. I can turn it in tomorrow.

But it's a trade, so I don't want to do it during the spot or during the show. All right. Let's definitely take a break. It's only 13 minutes. Oh, fuck. And if Jaylee takes all the silence out, it's only six minutes. And if Jaylee takes all the silence out, it's only six minutes. I had like eight different thoughts.

I asked you, do you have a list? You go, I don't have a list. No, but I was just like, in recent minutes. And as soon as you guys get done with whatever you're saying, I couldn't remember. I had something I was going to say every time. That's the weed. That's the weed. That's the weed. Oh, I had a question about when you were talking about the book,

when you said Mishka's name is in it, I just wanted to clarify. It's in the acknowledgment section is the only part? Because I was picturing like Mishka wrote himself into the book. No, no, no, no. My good friend Mishka. My personal trainer is here, Mishka who I look up to. My personal trainer is here. Mishka Shubale. He dropped his own name

while ghostwriting. Well, then I get a second book and I go, I'm really liking the book that I'm reading, Mishka's work. I just hate fucking, there's something about

ghostwriters, it's like, just have them write a biography. Don't call it a fucking autobiography. But Mishka isn't the guy who got ghostwritten. A guy we know was the ghostwriter. That's a good thing. That's what I'm saying.

I don't like reading books that I know are ghostwritten, regardless. Having, knowing Mishka on top of that. That's why I had a hard time reading Hennigan's book forever, because I couldn't disassociate a novel and Hennigan. You had to embrace that the lead character was Hennigan talking. Yeah. And once you did that, it took a while. But once you got in that, it's Pat Robertson.

So fucking good. Patrick Robertson is the book. And I was fighting it for so long. And I go, just let it go. It was about 50 pages before I went, oh, okay. At least. Probably 80 for me i was very stubborn but then i thought oh i'll let hennigan be the face of this as well as the voice yeah it

was really good and that i remember the first irvine welsh that i i read was filth and uh like i don't i don't know i knew train spotting but and I rarely read nonfiction, and he writes the way, you know, phonetically, for a fucking thick Scottish drawl. He should. This is fucking annoying as shit for about 50 pages, but then you start hearing it, and then it becomes a character that comes off the page. What, am I fucking Oprah's book club?

Go ahead, Chad. This cough sponsored by Patrick Robinson. I thought you were trying to get to the end of a sentence because I thought you were trying to talk. My periphery is melted. I'm going to reach down

and grab a beer. That doesn't mean I'm leaving. Okay? You want to get off the mic so bad. Oh, no, I was going to get to that second book that Mishka's name was on, where I go, oh, when I get done this book, oh, it's by a comic that has worked with us in Colorado several times.

Sam Talent? T-A-L-L-E-N-T. Tall Ent. Yeah. What have you done for me lately? He sent a book that has Mishka's quote on the front and the back. I'm like, come on, fucking Mishka, stop. You drank pee once.

It's your only story. Standed for four hours on a beach in America. He kind of got sober. I don't know if the screen is helping because I see – like it's kind of a choppy feed as Skype is, and when Chad moves in, I see it out of my periphery, and I think he's going into talk. That's a lot of these awkward pauses.

Do you want it closer to you? Do you want me to get it on? No, I'm saying I shouldn't look. I'm just not looking down. All right. Sam Talent wrote this book. And fuck me if I can. Oh, it's Pass the Light.

I'll look it up. I looked up. I typed into. I got it. She's getting it. But I typed in Sam Talent. And like the third picture up was Sam Morrell. Sam.

Oh, I spelt it wrong. That's totally. Tall Ent. What am I stoned? I can't even type. I don't know. Fucking my friend over here. Oh, he's like a hillbilly guy.

Do you remember him? I'm not going to tell you. Do you hate it when your friend gets a job and you can't say their name in public anymore? All right. So first I see Mishka on the cover, running the light. Sam Talent, Ford by Kyleyle canane very good branding and then underneath a quote from mishka shubali stop it i don't know why i get antagonistic towards him and then i go do i mean that so so it's a novel i like i'm happy to read i want to

read a comics biography i like them like a fucking someone alive not you know Richard Pryor or fucking and someone who isn't sober at the end and I was gonna say Lenny Bruce but I did actually yeah he wasn't sober at the end he was dead that's why I want to read so this is a novel and I'm like all right it's fucking fiction i'm not reading it and then i read the back thing debauched divorced and courting death billy ray shaffer is a comedian who has forgotten how to laugh over the course of seven spun out days across the american southwest he travels from hell gig to hell gig in search of a reason to keep living in this bleak and violent glimpse into the psyche of a thoroughly ruined man. I could probably get through that one. I give that one a shot. Chad, you do the Monday motivation, but very negatively. And you remember that book, Daily Negations, that Russ Dunn used to read?

They're like your Monday motivations. Yeah. And then, fuck, I forgot my goddamn point. Chad, it's so awesome. You can actually watch the vapors go out of Doug's head. Shit. Where it's all going. You see that it just goes away,

and I'm just staring. I'm not helping at all. I do. But there's Mishka's name on the back and the front. There's two Mishka Shibalis. There's two? Is it twin? Two different quotes.

Two different quotes. I could have chopped up Chris Rock's quote from my book and put half of it on the front. Half of it on the back. I wonder if anybody bought my book off of the recommendation of someone quoted

on the back of it. Well, I think a lot of people bought it because Johnny Depp wrote a foreword. No, that was the... Right after he was fucking... His name was shit. Well, the Depp heads, they don't care. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Well, don't worry. There's more Johnny Depp in this. Oh, did we say we ran into a Johnny Depp impersonator in Old Bisbee today? And he was way up the hill, so he wasn't like – I couldn't tell if he was a busker or a tourist. He was taking pictures. I'm like, I have to stop the car. I'm with Valentino.

He was taking pictures with tourists? He was taking – no, his own pictures of Bisbee. It doesn't sound like a bus. And she's like, you should give him five bucks. And I go, he's taking pictures. I think he's a tourist

just dressing up as Jack Sparrow as a goof. That would be awkward. Like he's on Hollywood Boulevard? Yeah. With Spider-Man in tow? He's taking the pictures instead of...

Like if you were dressed up in one of our goofy suits that was overly loud and someone said, can I get a picture and offered you $5? It was that kind of thing. That would be way more uncomfortable than stiffing a hobo. So I pull over the car and I'm just going to get a picture.

And he goes into his busker, you know, shtick. I don't know. He kept talking about if people are uncomfortable taking photographs. I don't know. I was just trying to get a picture to send to fucking Johnny Depp. And then I showed this Johnny Depp impersonator a picture of me in my underpants on Johnny Depp Island. And he's like, eh. Fake.

And he goes, that's Johnny Depp. They're friends. And he goes, anyway, back to what I said. Oh, Johnny Depp. They're friends. And he goes, anyway, back to what I said. Oh, Johnny Depp plays me in the movies. Anyway, he didn't lose his whole busker fucking rhythm. That's his rap. He didn't want to be outdone.

He was, yeah. I know where my five dollars went into, and it's in a vial. I like that sound. That's a drink sound for the listeners. For the ice. What are you drinking, Chad? Regular. Regular.

Vodka, soda, cranberry. Drinking on your off day, Chad. Yeah. I'll take it easy because I have to work again tomorrow. Wait, didn't you do Twitch last night too? I did indeed. You've totally fucked up your new schedule.

No, it's not bad. Your plan was different than that. I'm hoping Doug gets some speed up here, but he just is staring aimlessly. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm doing that. I'm doing that thing. I thought you guys were talking about something. I'm talking to Chad

because I'm thinking maybe you're going to think of something that you can pin to your fucking name. Oh, I thought you guys were into some shit. No, I'm just chit-chatting with Chad. All right. Because it looked like you were thinking of something and then I realized you're not thinking of anything. Nikki Fitz, this podcast is for you.

Nikki Fitz, remember that first time I did a podcast really high, and that guy fucking emailed me and gave me shit? You should never do the podcast high. I'm a big fan, but that was the worst. So, yeah, then we made a couple of just-for-you Nikki Fitz podcasts, and this is another one. Sometimes I remember people, not for any of the right reasons

chad in case you need a clarification a uh made a nicky fitz podcast just for him as and fuck you nicky fitz at the end there was really we didn't uh there was no paper mache uh like uh some there's a lot of email exchanges some effig Some effigy of Nicky Fitz. It was basically, fuck you at the end. I think he replied with a, I'm sorry, too, after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People go through the cycles. They email you angry, and then, yeah, the fucking 180 happens. Or they email you real nice, and then five years later,

you're a piece of shit for whatever you tweeted. It's a political opinion speaking of uh of the people making a 180 and edibles uh it was interesting to see that guy the other day respond to lynn shawcroft on twitter saying if you really want to know about mitch Read Doug Stanhope's book. Like, fucking, he was with him. He knows about him, not this cotton candy-ass post. Well, Lynn Shawcroft tweeted something about Mitch Hedberg. The widow Hedberg. Yes.

Tweeted something about her ex-husband. Yeah, her husband. Like a thread, Shaley, like a three-tweet thing. It was really nice, you know, like just something nice shit about her husband. And this poor prick responds with this whole diatribe about if there's an expert on Hedberg, it's Doug Stanhope, which is nowhere near true.

We worked together as fucking, once we started headlining, we didn't see each other for shit. You saw each other that one time right before he died. This guy goes fucking over the top with Doug Stanhope nose. He was there for those days and this cotton candy ass. I go, I don't think you know who you're talking – what you're talking about or who you're talking to. That's H Edberg's widow and I don't think I've seen him didn't see him six times in the last six

years he was alive and then he came back crawling back oh I'm so sorry I'll shut my fucking mouth I'm a moron and I should shut up yeah apologies to everyone but then I like to everybody all the killer termites immediately I'm a moron and I should shut up. Yeah, apologies to everyone. But then I liked it.

Everybody, all the killer termites immediately, as expected, started piling the fuck on. And Stan Hope's all stoned. You can tell. Hey, man, let's all just love each other. You already apologized. Twitter needs more goddamn love. Can't we all just get along

I'm not against it It's funny though It was before I did that news blackout I'm like Twitter was like this great place To fucking you're quarantining And everyone else is And then after the 30 days Of off Twitter off the news

Everyone was a miserable Fucking cunt I missed that Remember beginning of quarantine off Twitter, off the news. Everyone was a miserable fucking cunt. Like, hey, I missed that. Remember beginning of quarantine? We were all supportive. You spent 30 days off. And the world turned into an asshole.

But you had a different perception of what Twitter became after 30 days of a blackout. And it's like the Twitter moved on without you and you got left behind. Like, they've evolved. Yeah, if 9-11 got boring in a month, which it probably did in New York City, with people that never even make eye contact or just talking to each other, well, then maybe you should not live in a place you don't make fucking eye contact.

You don't have to bring down the Twin Towers to make eye contact with a neighbor. Yes, you do. If you're a fucking New Yorker and you pride yourself on being a fucking asshole. Greatest city in the world. I hate everyone around me. Yeah, get on Twitter and write something fucking nice. I bonded with one of my neighbors across the street just while I was headed over here to podcast with you guys.

Some dirt bikes went down our dirt road at about 55 miles an hour, and I picked up a big rock and was headed towards the road, and I told Jenny, watch this. Jenny's staring at me. Stop. Stop. Don't you do that stop watch and my neighbor old lady because across the street came running

over and she's screaming already at them slow down she's got a water hose I thought she was going to provide a distraction with the water hose and let me be I was going to hit him in the helmet with the rock you know I wasn't going to try to hurt him.

Chad's like at the end of the cul-de-sac. There's nowhere to go. You're trapped with Chad standing in the middle of the – like humongous from fucking – I'm lost in the thought of selling water softener after this. What? Yeah, I know. It jumps too many times.

Do you see? Well, the lady's going to give him cover with the hose. And he's going to throw a rock. And it's really hard water. And it's a water softener joke. See, I'm thinking about stuff. The gears are turning,

Doug, you're right. It's not like I'm not here. I'm in the room. Oh, Nicky Fitz is going to love this one. You don't take out the pauses. Extend them. Put in pauses that didn't exist. I'll go to other podcasts and steal part of their pauses.

I sampled pauses from the Bill Burr podcast. Brooklyn and Sheets, if you're still a sponsor, we could be doing things about how your sheets stop COVID. Call them the M96 series. M96. Yeah, it's M95, right? M95. Whatever, I don't go outside.

I don't need a mask. You're a big picture guy. Big picture guy. Oh, that's someone else on fucking Twitter. I don't know if this has been since the last podcast where just something. Like, sometimes I just retweet shit because it's interesting. I'm not making a. But obviously the mask thing.

That's where I gave up. I was like, hi. And I'm like, I'm going to be so positive on Twitter. And just every third fucking comment, I'm like, no, no, stay positive. You got this. And everyone's a fucking dick. And the mask thing, I just started delving in, like attacking me as a I sold out because I think you should probably wear a fucking mask.

I knew it, Stanhope. I knew it. Remember when you were a libertarian? Oh, yeah, I get a lot of that. I get a lot of those things. Yeah, I didn't know what it meant back then and I still don't, so I don't call myself that anymore. What, Chad?

I wrote a couple of mask jokes that were clearly fucking jokes, and I got frustrated because I got so many responses that were just, well, that's why you wash your mask for five minutes in some hot, soapy water, and I'm like, you fucking can't tell that was a joke, you fucking cunt. I hate you. You fucking can't tell that was a joke, you fucking cunt. I hate you. If I could never read the responses, I could probably be on Twitter a lot more. But that was so fucking like of all I tweeted that, I believe,

of all the fucking civil liberties that I've complained about being stripped away, the one you're going to turn on me is fucking masks in a pandemic. They were with you. While you're wearing a seatbelt. Oh, yeah. With your fucking shirt on in a safe way. Pussy. You fucking kowtowing pussy. The government tells you you have to put a shirt on.

Yeah, kick off those flip-flops. Go through the liquor aisle. You'll see what happened to Jimmy Buffett. Yeah. That was an old joke I used to love doing, but it didn't really fit in my act. Did you have a bullet when you told it? Yeah, I think so.

It was one of my kind of burning down bridges eras of my early comedy. How did I get past that? But I would purposely tank shows out of fucking self-hatred. Let's put a pin in that and come back to that. Yeah, what was I talking about? It was good. A joke. A joke?

You had a joke early on. Jimmy Buffett joke? Oh, my joke. Yeah, sorry. I went back to Hedberg for a second. It's tenuous over here, Chad. Hang on a second. I got it.

I said, and I looked down where there was one set of footprints in the sand, and I said, Jesus, why did you leave me when I needed you most? And Jesus said, that's where I blew out my flip-flop, stepped on a pop-top, cut my heel, had to cruise on back home. And that's a pretty good joke right there. Jesus was a parrot. That was the joke?

That was in my act. That was a good fucking, yeah. I liked it. Tommy Rocker would love that joke. Tommy Rocker would love that joke. Tommy Rocker would steal that joke. Yeah, it's all right. If it does as well with his crowd as it did right now. I hope he steals it every night.

We're at 20 if you want to take a break. We're not at 20. We're at 40. Well, we're at 34.56. But did you still want to take a break. We're not at 20. We're at 40. Well, we're at 34.56. But did you still want to take a break? I'm fine. We can just keep rolling. That's fine.

I don't know if you'd get back in the chair. I'm good. I'm physically acute. I think. There's a word somewhere. I don't know if it's from that sentence, but it's from somewhere. It's a word. There are a lot of words in that sentence.

There's a lot more sentences to come. Hey, Chad, it is episode 400. They never thought we'd get past three. That's a lot of fucking episodes right there. Yeah, a lot of cocktails. It's funny. We buried our earliest episodes, and what a way to celebrate an anniversary. You know, I was listening to uh

bobby caldwell's uh i listened to all of them all six yeah yeah you had another one came out on the third today's the fourth and so i listened to the sixth because i found an email from his mom asking advice on equipment and stuff like that and I printed it out and buried it in a bunch of tax documents. I found it yesterday. I'm like, fuck. So I listened to it because he was on last week. Notes from the pen.com. Notes from the pen.com.

And it's fucking great. It really is. And then I also know I can't compliment the guy in the email because he'll go, oh, he's just saying that or whatever. So I had to be – I'm not going to tell you it's great because you're not gonna believe me but really it is it's captivating in that what i said in the email was most people's perception of prison is rikers island on law and order or chow time at orange is the new black people don't, and they're fucking curious because most people fantasize what it's like in prison, like horrific and everything.

And he's telling first person, not like I heard, my uncle went to the joint. I mean, he's broadcasting from prison, from the phone bank. I go, don't change a fucking thing. Keep doing it. You can maybe tighten up a little bit of the format and stuff like that and little things. But I listened to all six last night. It was fucking great.

And sent the email to him and, I mean, it's just going to get better and better. And the reason I bring this up is because our first podcast, I think the first ten, I mean, hit and miss. Most of the time we didn't even fucking put them out. We would scrap it before we took a break. That was my joke is that we're going to scrap this one like the first ones. But the point being is that it grows organically. There's a million comics with a million other comics on their podcast, and they're doing bits, and they're doing a take on the news.

You're doing something. Is there another incarcerated podcaster broadcasting from the phone bank at a prison? It's pretty unique. So you need to find your niche, and I think he's done that. That stinks. But I think he's pretty unique. So you need to find your niche. And I think he's done that. That stinks. But I think he's done that. And it just takes time to get used to. Cat was fucking meowing outside.

He turned around. Then I heard Chad say something. I went, oh, Chad's here. And then I thought, oh, did Chad leave? And no, he's on a TV. Is that compatible only 10 milligrams? Chad, there is a camera.? And no, he's on a TV. Is that compatible, only 10 milligrams? Chad, there is a camera. There is a monitor right in front of him.

I thought you might have left the room. Oh, my God. Chad has shrunk. He's turned into just a head. He's turned invisible. I hear him, but he's not in the room. It made sense in my head. Now it's the cat distracting him.

Anyway, notesfromthepen.com. You can get all the background. And Notes from the Pen podcast is basically Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Can I get some fat-free milk from the main house fridge? It's definitely white Russian time. Closing time. Thank you, Tracy. I have had a

my life was well lived and now in my final moments as I retire from podcasting I want to thank all the people who just went to get me fat-free milk. The team that went to get you fat-free milk. The gummy thing, the problem is what they need is dummy gummies. Because you want to keep eating gummy, but you only want the first one to be weed. So it's like the head of a snake but then you eat the whole body because you keep wanting to eat fucking gummies after that

i know that's what i'm saying i need to have them on hand but i can't leave my house that's not the weed people's problem it's the coronavirus's problem. I've had that problem before the coronavirus with brownies. You'd make a whole batch of weed brownies and then you eat a reasonable chunk and then it gives you the munchies and you eat an unreasonable chunk.

Yeah, we did that at a Super Bowl. Well, yeah, you should have had another tray of regular brownies. No, someone brought brownies at a Super Bowl. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, you should have had another tray of regular brownies. No, someone brought brownies to the Super Bowl party and laid them out on a table with other sweets. So you just – Oh, yeah, kids were there too.

Well – Not many, but – I didn't plan on eating as many as I did, but, yeah. That was the Super Bowl that the Who played halftime. Here at the Funhouse or at the Super Bowl? Yeah, I was freaking out. I thought Pete Townsend was playing right to me. Oh, fuck.

It was really fucking weird. Yeah, I've done the accidental brownie thing during just a regular football Sunday. But I was six hours in a chair right there. And I had to tell other people to explain. Anyone who comes in, tell them that I'm high and I don't do this, and I'm really bad at it, and I can't talk. I couldn't lift my beer to my face. My arm was rubber.

And now look at him. White Russian right to the mouth. Yeah. It was a different day and an age. The brownies. They didn't come in a gummy form. And they were shitty brownies, or I'd still die. Wait, I still have my... What? Shut it, meat wig.

Can we wrap this up? Oh, do I have to read it? Do whatever you want. No, that's separate. That's after. All right. You can still read. Well, I just want to say happy 400th episode. I remember like it was yesterday when you said, do you want to do this podcast thing?

And I said, no. No, I don't want to do that. And thanks for fucking convincing me to do it, I guess. Thanks, Chad. Thank you, Greg Chaley, for all your tireless effort of burying this entire podcast studio in the back and then starting this episode over when I'm not high. And then you could unearth it

upon my death and then I don't know what you'd do with it then. You wouldn't even know anyway because you don't listen to the podcast. Who would listen to this drivel? This is going into a landfill for sure. This will not go out. It will go out as garbage.

So see you tomorrow, Chad. I'm always game. You know that. And also, we lose some of the dynamic not only when we're both stoned to shit, because usually I'm the only one stoned to shit but we lose some of the dynamic of uh like you said earlier we know when the other one's getting ready to talk we can we'd play off each other much better in real life than on skype this is fucking awkward also we get some of that dynamic like you ever think about a phone call that wasn't the one phone call where we talked.

Every one of them is as fast and as fucking to the point and over with before, you know, either one of us is ready, you know, can say bye. The other one's hung up. So I guess some of that angle comes in on this as well. I disagree. It's Doug's two stone, is what it is. No, I don't disagree. I think unless the guest is on Skype,

Skype is not the way to do this. What are you talking about? We do it every, twice a week. I know, but you always have a guest. Andy Andrist. Yeah, that's true. I'm pretty – yeah.

Yeah, well, also now that I think about it, I'm used to sitting here on this podcast and mostly listening. I'm not used to participating back and forth a lot on the other podcasts. I'm not used to you, me noticing that. Okay. That's good. What? I'm saying, like, and now I'm thinking about things I would never think about. I actually took the second edible

because I thought, I don't want to be too drunk for the podcast, but I went the other way. Boy, you fixed it. You fixed it, man. So, Chad, you're going to do both podcasts over here tomorrow, I'm assuming? I'll do whatever. No. Issues with Andy is done four-way Skype, thousands of miles in between us, and people who can hold their weed. Hey, someone Google, you porn search three-way Skype,

and I bet something comes up. Don't search three-way Scott. You can't undo that. Hannigan's in one of them. That's with one T. Scott with one T. I don't know who to do it to next. That's more than 15%.

It takes place in an escape room and all the other people are just trying to get the fuck out. Find a door. That. Find a door. That's not a door. I have to apologize to you ladies, but this hasn't regularly happened to me, but I'm under a lot of stress at work. Sorry, I'm still in a Hannigan's tree.

We should have started with this. Keep going. You might salvage this podcast. Play the podcast backwards and then cut off the beginning. Stop 10 minutes from the back. From the front. I need a calculator. Did you mean a slide rule?

No. I'm going to figure out if the math works on this. Time machine. I need a calculator. Did you mean a slide rule? No, I'm going to figure out if the math works on this. I thought I stepped on a dog, but it was a chair. Did you just make morning radio sounds? Waka waka. This could be a podcast one day. Oh, man. Keep working on the fucking weaker links. Bobby Caldwell asked us for advice.

Earlier, I couldn't wait for this to be over, and now I don't want it to ever end. over and now I don't want it to ever end. I think I might go read. No, I probably won't do that. If it doesn't rain because barbecue, it just looked like it was going to rain. It looks like I'm about

to win a dollar. We didn't put a time limit on this, but everyone said it's going to rain said it's not gonna rain right here it's gonna rain somewhere and we were in the eye of the fucking storm somewhere in the world it's gonna rain no like on these mountaintops okay down the street fucking when we got nine inches of fucking hail and babies died joe b's fucking eight blocks away. He didn't get shit. Those poor Hale Babies. Hale Babies. Chad, it was sad.

It was like the street. Like instead of like memes going down the gutter, it was just babies. Hale-dented babies like floating down the gutters. It was, yeah. And trash didn't come on Friday. So they just stayed there. If you had a soft spot, you convert to Judaism right away and get an iron

yarmulke. Because that baby's going to die. You just buy a hard hat. Chew off his foreskin. You buy the hard hat. I'm saying we got to fucking keep these babies alive yeah put that on my epitaph epiphat save the hail babies never forget hail babies

brandon wallace used to have that bit about, remember in the 80s, the whole crack babies thing? Whatever happened to them? Are they crack adults now? I didn't do Brendan Walsh much justice on that one. We get the silliness. Remember he had that calendar that was like gay. Gay babies.

Gay baby calendars. Wedding babies or something. Brendan Walsh's gay baby. Gettys. Like Gettys had the calendar. Like the aunt. Was it Aunt Gettys? Gay baby calendar.

Dressed all up YMCA. Tuxedos. I love it. He had to to find the photographer and the studio that agreed to do that. Like interviewing. And other people's babies. I picture Brendan in jodhpurs

and a scarf and a beret. Interviewing the photographers. What was that from, not Borat, the other one? What? The other, not Borat, the other one? What? The other, not Borat, Bruno. Where they trying to get liposuction on

fucking toddlers and stuff. Oh, would you be against that? Like as a casting director and the parents are all, yeah, we'll get liposuction on our fat 18-month-old. We don't have to pay for it, right? I forget why that fucking thought was. I think that thought fits into this conversation. If I was working this whole conversation like it was Tetris,

I think what I said fit in there, but I don't remember why. I think it did because the Hale Babies didn't have suction. Hale Babies was a funny part. Hale Babies did not have suction. See, there's some funny parts. There's like four funny parts in this. There's more than that. It just depends on what angle you're looking from.

It's pretty funny. I'm glad to be here. I wonder how much shit I don't get on Twitter because people like I wake up and sometimes I've gotten into some telephone fights and I want to yell it. I can't remember a recent one even though it was minutes ago. Telephone fight? What do you mean?

Like I yell it and I want to tweet about it. Okay, fucking Arby's didn't put fucking horsey sauce in my bag or something. Something dumb like that. And you go, oh, I forget the world is falling apart. So I can't bitch about something as petty. And I wonder if bitching about me on a podcast would be considered the same kind of petty

where someone wants to go, hey, you should not do high podcast, you fucking loaf. But then they don't hit tweet. They don't hit send because they go, there's a pandemic. There's race riots. Cops are murdering people. And children in fucking detention are dying. Hail babies.

Maybe I shouldn't fuck with Doug Stanhope so much. There's hail babies. You're right, Chaley. Hail Babies. Let me get a drink so we can toast to Hail Babies. For my Nazi fans, that's not Heil Babies.

And don't print your own merch and start sending it out with my name on it, you fucks. Black eyes to you, fucking Nazi. Name the song, listener. what's that song from black eyes to you you fucking nazi it's the same as i'm a time bomb i'm gonna i'm gonna explode all i have that album someone sent it to us and you didn't want it yeah don't play that online anymore

that's on your permanent record. You have to watch the entire movie. It's one of those kind of things. Yes, some white girls use some offensive language in that, but it's to make a point against a racist mayor. That's why they broke out of the insane asylum and went crazy. This is long before. This is 1981 with Tim Curry. I'm giving away too many clues.

Someone. Hold on. What? Let's take a break. Yep. Let's take a break. Get your phone on Bluetooth. My phone? Yes. Your phone. Alright. I just got a text from someone that says happy 4th of July

but it's who it's from which means he's by his phone all right all right hey chad you want to hang on yes we'll take a little break and we'll be right back we're back. When I made the advance to the second edible, I thought, oh, this might be a gateway drug, and I might be a junkie in my 60s. You should do a third one right now. No, that would be a terrible idea.

No, totally. But we should definitely do this podcast outside. Can't we just walk with these microphones? Yeah, walk as far as you want. So I had a call or a text from someone wishing us a happy 4th. So I think you should just go ahead and call them. Oh, fuck. I forget that whole thing.

Yeah, I know. Don't forget to tell them how to canadate. Canadate from a couple of days ago. Is that a thing? Well, it is to some people. Canadians. Big in Canada. Canada Day turns out is big in Canada.

Where is... Trace, you might need to help him. Yeah, no. I had it under. Got it. Alright. One ringing ding. Oh it. All right. This is better work. One ringy ding. Ooh, that's loud. If it's too loud, you're too old.

That's right. Oh, hey. No, I wasn't talking about you. I was talking to Chad Shank, bitching about the volume. Sorry, you texted. Well, I fucking agree with it. I agree with you. So just keep saying the stuff I agree with.'s great this is nickelback mike uh you're on the air uh well not live by it who

were this is a debate this is our 400th episode and i'm uh strictly high as fuck and so i think the first 45 minutes were mostly dead air of me and Chad Shank staring at each other via Skype. There are adults here, Mike. A little breathing. Yeah, a little breathing is really nice. Here, left. You're really good and high. That's best, yeah.

Yeah, you and Shane Gillis, maybe even to a lesser extent Shane Gillis, are the two people that I have met during this whole fucking thing that I've actually kept in touch with. Oh, great. Well, I'm happy with that. Yeah. You were a pleasant. Well, Shane was a pleasant surprise as well.

Of course. He was in person. He kind of had to get along and it turned out we did. Yeah. He just showed up but yeah we were just uh we were on speakerphone the other afternoon on the patio with my friend who got a job so we can never speak his name uh we better be careful but we were oh yeah see if people get fucking jobs has that ever happened to you tell me a story nickelback mike of someone that you started with like a band and now he had to bag your groceries

and it was oh i don't want you know that whole shaming of people doing real work thing i don't really do that no it's not no it's it's not shaming them at all it's fucking it's the other way around yeah where doug is i used to be story of where you're uncomfortable because the guy is doing honest labor, but you remember when you guys used to do keg stands and play... Oh, there's... Yeah, there is quite a lot of that, right? I can't... I don't have a real true, for instance,

with a name attached to it, but there is a lot of that because, you know, typically, you know, you don't start a band and become successful. Typically, you start a band and you fucking become nothing, you know typically you know you don't start a band and become successful typically you start a band and you fucking become nothing you know so we got kind of lucky and and a lot of you know other people that that we know started bands and it didn't work out you know so they're they're doing various other things you know um my cousin's uh uh he started the band with us actually he's a fucking badass yeah yeah yeah he's a he's a he

wanted to get in the in the in the world of accounting he's a real uh you know um analytical thinker and uh he uh got he became actually a financial analyst which you know pretty much you get outclassed just about any anybody else doing that now he decided he was going to go all the way you know it It'd be the greatest kind of accountant you can be. He still is a beast on the drums, too. I still play with him occasionally. We've been doing COVID sessions.

He's a monster. I got a question, Mike. By the way, Chad is also on the line. Chad, Mike. Mike, Chad. Hey, Chad. Hello, Mike. You know what's crazy? I was just listening to you guys talking to the guy from the pen when you called. Hey, Chad. Hello, Mike. You know what's crazy? I was just listening to you guys talking to the guy from the pen when you called. Fuck, seriously.

I'm not kidding. Oh, Bobby Caldwell. Oh, yeah. We just got done. Chaley listened to all six episodes of his podcast and says it's fucking unlike anything else. I'm going to definitely take a listen. I'm going to check that out. It's one of those things where you put it on and you go,

I'll just put this on while I'm doing something. And all of a sudden you're staring at the wall, not doing what you're supposed to do, listening to the fucking podcast. Because it's fucking interesting. Yeah. Well, like the thing is, is that, you know, just listening to him, he just started talking the second before you called. And it is, you know podcasts are

really interesting when you get a perspective that you're not familiar with holy shit i've never been incarcerated for more than a few hours so uh this is uh this is really interesting yeah yeah uh shoot find find an appropriate one and uh shoot out a retweet of at notes from the pen okay okay i think they would probably he probably really that would be helpful for him wouldn't it shoot out a retweet of at notes from the pen. Okay. Okay. I think they would probably, he probably really, that would be helpful for him. Wouldn't it? It's helpful for the system.

Yeah. And you know, yeah, that's all, that's what I'm all about is, uh, furthering the system. No,

no, no. I meant the opposite. Like the whole prison system is fucked. Don't get me started on some tangent. He really hasn't listened yet. Yeah, you'll get it quick. Well, one thing I've noticed, Doug, since you started using marijuana,

you're a lot more oblique. You know what I mean? Like, I really have to read between the lines with you. Like, usually you're like a fucking scalpel, and now you're more like a sledgehammer, you know? I've got to really be careful how I, you know, I got to listen real close because you kind of shake me off with the marijuana. Oh, yeah.

It's shaking the fuck out of me, too. That's awesome. Like, I have a smile that's, like, massive. Like, I'm not forcing it. I'm not trying to do something with my face to amuse my friends. It's just a smile. It's like when I used to have erections. Like, this is not partying.

I was thinking the same thing. Oh, yeah. Remember? Remember those? Yeah. As a terror. A night terror. I remember them. Shaylee, were you looking at me because you're as grossed

out by Stanhope smiling as you are when he gets a fucking erection for no reason at all? It used to be I would see them both about the same. Well, I kind of feel like I think I've seen his dick on the Internet. I think I'm pretty sure I have. But it's a big deal. Everybody has, you know, whatever. Oh, I would put them on my website that's right forever my website people couldn't get on it still some people can't get on it because

it's listed as an adult site because you're posing for a five dollar polaroid with the jaeger girls of course you pull your cock out and then you put it on the internet why wouldn't well naturally yeah and that was harder to do back then. I had to get Chaley to do it. Now you can just put it on Twitter. I was Doug's webmaster for a while and I would routinely get something like an email and then I would go,

I'm not doing this right now. I'm waiting. I'm a self-imposed cooling off period because this came with pictures and there's no i mean there's no amount of fucking emojis you can put over that that's his dick or that's his balls you know yeah the balls yeah yeah the dick does not hide the balls like a mic stand doesn't hide Ralphie May. Okay. Okay. So, okay.

Yes. I'm getting a better visual now. You're jogging my memory. Oh, I just texted to you, but I have you on Bluetooth for this, so I don't know how to text you a dick pic while we're talking. For the sake of the podcast, I was going to ask you. Yes. Because I've remembered this question for like four minutes.

I remember mine. You go ahead. You probably already forgot it. You did indulge. You were a boozer for a while. Yeah. Would you say that you made more mistakes in your life because you were drunk or because of a chick? more mistakes in your life because you were drunk or because

of a chick? Embarrassing things if your life flashes before your eyes as the common phrase goes. Would you go, oh, I did that when I was drunk or oh, I did that for

a chick? It's close to a dead heat, buddy. It's pretty neck and neck on that one but i'd have to say you know the booze just simply because uh i can't remember all the shameful events when i was drunk um but i can remember all the ones that involve chicks unfortunately i'm thinking immediately of this scene from Swingers a million years ago where he meets a girl and then he calls her like 15 times in a row and leaves messages. Oh, right after they met at the club. John Favreau.

Yeah, John Favreau. The first thing I said was how many times those two things overlap. Yeah. The Venn diagram is almost two circles. Yeah, exactly. You're going to do all those fucking embarrassing things because of a chick when you're all fucked up. Well, that's when you're

most vulnerable, right? So probably there's a lot of those I've either forgotten or repressed. Thank God. Yeah, thank goodness for repressive memory and brain damage that's that's what makes some dreams terrifying where you wake up and you can't tell for a minute if that was was that real yeah but when you don't remember half your fucking life because you were drunk you're like

i don't know if it's real i have to give give this a second beat. You eat your bacon and eggs and go, I still don't know if that was real. Yeah. There are those moments. There are those moments. But yeah, it's probably the booze, man. I'd have to say that I've probably forgotten more bad times than I remember,

but I remember quite a few of them. Wait, so the booze is the hero? Well, in a way, I guess. It's kind of like, you know, I would be way more embarrassed if there were footage of the fucking dumb things I've said in person, like trying to win a girl back,

the entire spectrum of what you did for pussy yeah i would be more embarrassed to watch footage of that me shit well that you know what duck okay but you're different because you're good at being drunk i'm not so you know that that's the difference between us right yeah but we do shameless things for them you obviously. We really compromise ourselves for women in the pursuit. But yeah, I'm not good at being drunk like you are. You've made a fucking comfortable living being drunk. I can never do that. Or an uncomfortable living, I don't know.

Yeah, well, I didn't have to learn how to play an instrument. It's probably too hard if you're drunk. I learned a lot of that was drunk actually I did in learning learning how to play sober was a real challenge relearning how to play sober is the challenge yeah Shayla you had a question I had a question yeah what you said earlier that you were getting together with the financial wizard who was the – Yes. Your cousin? Was he a cousin?

Yes. Yeah. But he was the original drummer for your project. Yeah. You're getting together now and you're playing online. Are you guys playing real time or – Yeah, we can't play real time just because of variability of people's internet, right? Yeah.

Like that. The latency can fuck up everything. But what we're doing is, you know, we've been choosing covers. And then, you know, he'll lay it down, like lay down the drums, and then send it to me and I play over it. And then we send it to the guitar player or keys or whatever we got. And it just continues as that. It's pretty low tech, really. It's just MP3s.

Are you doing it with video? Well, we're thinking about doing a video after the fact now, actually. We're thinking about doing videos after the fact. Check this out. There's a guy. It's two minutes to midnight. It's super fucking metal. It's all New York bands, like underground shit.

But the guy is good that puts it together. Cool. And the reason I ask this is because I'm wondering how they're doing it. They're doing it the same way you just said. But it is so interesting to watch musicians get creative. And all the money they raise is going to the musicians who are out of work right now in New York. That's fucking great. But yeah, check it out.

It's two minutes to midnight. Two minutes to late night? Two minutes to midnight. Two minutes to midnight. Sounds like a Judas Priest song. It is in fact an Iron Maiden song, but that's okay. All right. So check them out.

But it is one of those things. Do it. It looks so fucking fun when everyone gets together on the video, even though you're not all playing together. It looks fantastic. Yeah, and that's probably what we're going to do. We're even talking about doing some kind of preposterous Zoom meeting setup situation. But I don't know.

We'll see what it all turns out to be. But it's just really fun. We're really having fun yeah you know playing music and having fun playing music is is the best and right now we could i mean we're we're in secondary lockdown here at our house you know now that um all hell's breaking loose we're we're uh you're gonna ditch that family and come out here and play bass. That sounds nice. We don't have a supporting band. We just like bass. All right.

That sounds like my kind of crowd. It's fucking Spinal Tap with the four bass players. Yeah, well, both of my kids play bass, too. So we could actually throw down a nice version of Big Bottom. That would be great. That's it, yeah. Hey, by the way, it's called Two Minutes to Late Night. It's on YouTube, and it's

Gorsinio Hall is the lead guy. He's got a show that they do, a live show. But, I mean, they get these great bands, and it's fucking fantastic. And they do great covers. Gorsinio Hall is still alive? Yeah, did you just say Arsenio Hall?

Gorsinio. As in Gwar, the band Gwar. Yeah, he wears band Gwar. It's fucking great. It's great. It's good. That makes way more sense. Gwar and Arsenio. I knew a long time ago that Gwar and Arsenio would be hooking up. That's a perfect match.

It's breaking my heart. Dog's breaking my heart. You got the sad eyes coming through the screen door? Yep. Yeah, it's the worst. I was going to start singing Sad Eyes by Robert John, I think. Sad Eyes. Oh, my.

Turn the other way. Yeah, I better go. This podcast should end. Why did we have to bring Mike into this? I love that Mike called in. I know, but this is like one of the worst fucking. No, it's actually. I think there's good parts to this podcast. I'm really sure of it.

I'm looking forward to hearing it. Oh, you won't make it past the first 30, but Chaley will probably cut a bunch of that shit out and get to the other parts. I don't know. Yeah, Greg's good at editing. Perfect for intro fans. Yeah. We need out the true fans, yes.

What? Mark for the rich. What? Oh. You can't sit through a few moments of silence for the good stuff. Get out of here. Yeah, no, I was completely confused right now. So I think we're closing this out.

We're closing it out, man. All right. Can we do fireworks? Do we have fireworks the 4th of July? I can do whatever you want. I love my country. You can say, instead of saying, bingo, take us out, say

fireworks. Yeah, how about, well, we just set that in the law for all the people to hear. Why is Chaley being mean to me? I don't know what's going on you. I'm just explaining to you. I don't know what's going on. We could put...

I know, this is so crazy. Mike. Hey, Mike, this is going to be video. Oh, fuck. Mike is still here. I forgot. Yeah, I'm still with you, man. I thought you left the room, too.

Oh, yeah, no, no. All right. It's harder. You have to drop the hints a little harder than that, Doug. Hey, Mike, the whole thing started with Doug saying, I'm high. I just ate two edibles. Chad and Shaley, you take over. That was the opening sound. I had to collect my thoughts. Wow. Yeah. Well, you can count

them. I've been doing a lot of that. It's a small, low, low low low number I know because I go there often collecting your thoughts is easy when there's only like one or two of them is this sting so far from it my brother I gotta make my way to some kind of cheese

I'm thinking blue Mark from it, my brother. I got to make my way to some kind of cheese. I'm thinking blue. Wrap it up. Let's close it with some Junior Stopka. Wrap it up. See you later, Mike. I love you, Mike. Take it easy, guys. Happy 4th.

Thank you, Chad. Later, bye. Love you guys. Bye-bye. Take care, guys. guys. Happy 4th. Later, bye. Love you guys. Bye-bye. Okay, bye-bye now. Thank you. guitar solo I saw the tweet that he tweeted just a little bit before, and I said I responded with, Edible Stan is all right is alright I guess you can clearly tell he was fucking high as

shit from his tweet so I knew this was going to be fun