The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#471: Apartheid In Your Pants

Episode Date: November 28, 2021

Doug's back home for the holidays and very high. We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know. Recorded Nov 26th,... 2021 at the FunHouse in BIsbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Raider, Valentina, and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille. Doug's new book, "No Encore For The Donkey" available exclusively at Audible.com - https://amzn.to/31uwvO0 LINKS - Stageman Underwear - Stageman Underwear is ergonomically enhanced first layer gear for men. It's innovative design gently lifts the male genitals up and away from the legs for maximum performance and comfort. Go to www.Stageman.com and use Promo Code 'STANHOPE' to save 10% on your order. Keep the ear party pumping with the ISSUES WITH ANDY podcast featuring Andy Andrist, Brett Erickson, Chad Shank and Chaille. New episode every Friday - https://www.patreon.com/issueswithandy Need more Chaille? Check out Mix Tape Time Machine Podcast with John Norris, Matt Collins and Ggreg Chaille - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mix-tape-time-machine-podcast/id1554596023 It's FREE to join Chad on his Twitch Channel. Go the Chad's Twitter page where he has pinned a tweet with instructions - https://twitter.com/hdfatty Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant Photo by EgglesterSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. It's a little post-holiday chaos here, day after Thanksgiving. Thanks for tuning in to Doug Stanhope and the Funhouse Crowd. Thanks for tuning in to Doug Stanhope and the Funhouse Crowd. We're having a great family holiday celebration day after Black Friday, or as we call it, African American. I don't know what we call it. Oh, that's how we called it that.
Starting point is 00:00:42 And it's not the day after Friday. It is Black Friday. Day after Thanksgiving is what I was trying to say. That's what we called it that. And it's not the day after Friday. It is Black Friday. Day after Thanksgiving is what I was trying to say. That's what you started with. Yeah, I know. I tried to go all light FM and then you cock blocked me on African American Target Stampede Day. Your words were your problem there. I put a note.
Starting point is 00:01:07 I've been getting high a lot since I've been back. Thank you, The Road. Thanks for having me for three months and I'll get back to you. But in the meantime, I'm so happy to be home and be able to get high, really high and only annoy Dave Rader. Dave Rader
Starting point is 00:01:24 had to take me one-on-one the other night, high as fuck. He's like, I go, I think I'm going to drink because I didn't the night before. I watched that Squid Game. I had one bad day. I go, I'm going to get shit done and one fucking Kafka-esque problem
Starting point is 00:01:44 with a fucking DMV issue issue and no you have to call another state's dmv and dmvs don't answer their fucking phones and i don't know and i went fuck this i don't need to do this it's goddamn thanksgiving week i don't have another gig till fucking new year's why am i trying to get shit done right away? And I sat in bed and I watched Squid Game fucking all in a row. Nine hours of that. And if COVID were still like a thing, quarantine were a thing, Squid Game would be fantastic. But when you go, I could be doing shit.
Starting point is 00:02:22 I don't know. I wanted to tweet. you go, I could be doing shit. I don't know. I wanted to tweet. Well, if all of your friends jumped off a boring nine-hour predictable bridge, would you do it?
Starting point is 00:02:35 Evidently, yes, I would, because I was the last guy I know to watch Squid Game, and by then, it would be a Willy Wonka movie if it weren't for the graphic murder. How'd you get your drinks oh yeah for the last uh three episodes bingoes is on whatever her fucking she's up at night and i'm up in the other hours but she was up she's like do you want me to come over and bring you a cocktail
Starting point is 00:03:02 i go i didn't really drink today, but okay. And then she races in, like her house is on fire. And she goes, okay, have you usual? Okay, does it taste good? Okay, I gotta go, bye-bye now. Call me when you want another drink. And then I get to the next episode, and she'd be texting me, are you thirsty yet?
Starting point is 00:03:21 Are you thirsty yet? And she'd fucking run over from the other house, from the quiet house, like Benny Hill. Do, do, do, do, do, do. High, fast motion bingo, delivering cocktails. And I don't know, where was my point? Oh, Squid Game. No, the next day. My point was I didn't need to do shit,
Starting point is 00:03:41 and I got high a lot. You've been home four days, five days? I think a week. I think. Yeah, a week. Yeah. Yeah. And it's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:03:58 And I don't need to get shit done. God damn it. I was hilarious. And Raider was the only one who could enjoy the beauty of me high at five o'clock. That's when, because I wasn't eating really. Tree falls in a forest. And I didn't drink really, except for those cocktails that Bingo brought. Squid game night.
Starting point is 00:04:26 The next day, I go, oh, I feel really good good i didn't really drink last night i had four cocktails it's nothing that's a a in my book i get a fucking i get a 30-day chip just for that that book in my AA. Bailey's is not alcohol in my AA. So, yeah. So then I didn't eat at all. All I had this squid game day was a fucking smoothie. And then I just didn't feel like eating. And then the next day, I still didn't feel like eating.
Starting point is 00:05:05 And then I said, hey, Raider, yeah, we should probably start day drinking. He said, have you eaten anything? And I said, no. Well, we should probably get some food before. I said, you're right. And I went and I ate an edible on an empty stomach and then we started drinking and I'll be goddamned if I wasn't the funniest person that I've ever I'll give you this you were the funniest person in the room but I'm a compliance attorney so that's not really yeah
Starting point is 00:05:38 I knew as soon as I sat down I should have brought my notebook but at the same time I'd rather remember how funny I was without seeing direct proof to the contrary in a notepad. I do remember RBG. That's the only joke I remember. No, you said some good stuff. I'm not going to burn it. But no, then the other stuff was all the stuff I've had written down, but that I get to riff out with you. And yeah, we get some movement on that bit.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I really do miss doing comedy. I fucking miss it. I love being home. I don't miss fucking travel. I don't miss... I just... I miss every night where I'd have to hope to be in this mood. Like, okay, now that bit has more traction if we do it like this
Starting point is 00:06:22 and then go up and do it. Just thinking about your act, that doesn't make money. I can't think of a fucking new joke and get paid based on the quality of what I just thought. And that's the problem with the system. And that's why that Asian man should be president
Starting point is 00:06:40 and automate my jokes for me and pay me. Who is it yang yang and yeah yeah is it too late to vote i'm not much up on politics or hockey uh yeah so so uh raider the poor fucking bastard Raider he just I wish he were still alive
Starting point is 00:07:10 he withstood it he withstood a barrage I had a great time we had a few laughs a couple of drinks I actually when Brian Hennigan at Mr. Hennigan you can ask him this because that was on my list and then I crossed it off my list. I get
Starting point is 00:07:25 more important shit. When are we going to film Junior Stopka's at Junior Stopka? Hey, Mr. Hennigan, please don't fail to remind him on Twitter. I think they mentioned on the podcast
Starting point is 00:07:41 something about filming Junior Stopka's special here at the Funhouse. I think we should definitely do it. That'd be great. The problem is it's Junior Stopka's special. So I'm putting this out to you, the fucking pissants out there that
Starting point is 00:07:57 don't barrage them all when this fucking podcast comes out. But if we're not talking about filming Junior Stopka's special, don't barrage them all when this fucking podcast comes out. But if we're not talking about filming Junior Stopka's special, don't hesitate to hey at Mr. Hennigan on Twitter. Is there any movement with that Junior Stopka project? Big fan. Yeah, you can be polite and be a fucking nuisance.
Starting point is 00:08:23 You don't know what to do with that. Done that to front desks. I'm going to be the biggest dick, but watch if I do it real polite. Or it'd be... You might remember this. Randomly rude. But with a take back i'd go uh front desk yeah did one of you melvins have extra towels because uh we don't we're out of towels i think it starts off one of you melvins what you, retards? To have a hair product that's...
Starting point is 00:09:06 Whatever. But just... You start out harder than... You can't say retard, though. It has to be something... I know. That's why I said Melvins. No, you just said retard.
Starting point is 00:09:15 I know. I'm trying to explain it to Dave who's looking at me dumbfounded like I'm the high one. Can't give away the fucking closing bit. No, no, no. I was on eBay again. And I look for vintage Delta shit is one of my go-tos.
Starting point is 00:09:42 And I find weird fucking, i get a watch a vintage delta watch that has two dials on it so you can set one part for and it's gonna be like 1950s or something for where you take off and when you land i don't it's cool but i was like so into this that I figured out I could get a first class trade. Because when you fly first class, we've talked about this so much that I should call this the Doug Stano flies in a way better category than you. And he always will podcast. I was finding all these, like you used to get a hot meal served to you, whatever it was.
Starting point is 00:10:31 It's fucking beef. And then there's some smashed potatoes in this little, and I'd steal one of the little tiny plates each time. All right. The one, the sauce came in. Maybe this time I'll take the actual full dish and you just pile it all together and give it back. They don't fucking
Starting point is 00:10:45 they're not taking head counts of their China. Point being, now that you get a fucking paper box, it's basically a triangle sandwich from the gas station with the fucking peel away. Yeah, that's what you get. They chuck
Starting point is 00:11:02 you a fucking box and you have your choice of two. They might as well both have question marks on them one facing the other if this is like the whatever spread like i don't even know what that means it's a fuck yeah it's lunchables and and and take it while you can get it so i was as i'm i'm planning out, you know, I mean, the Domino's pizza thing that we did on Delta. That was a minimal amount of planning. Like, hey, wouldn't it be funny if we dressed up and fucking sat in first class? It was like we're both Domino's delivery people that don't know each other. That was an idea and three clicks ebay buttons to buy the uniforms now i'm plotting out
Starting point is 00:11:49 how i could get all the the uh the tray the plates everything of first class buy that bring it with me ahead of time fill it with like Kentucky fried chicken mashed potatoes and stuff but have it tucked away where I can have a tray so when the slob next to me falls asleep I break out this entire tray and then as soon as he wakes up I pretend to be asleep with the exact tray that old first class would have and he's gonna look over me like you me with a how did he get this but he's flying first class so he probably would not be the type of person that would say what the coach would do that coach would go what the you gave me peanuts Peanuts, cocksucker! This guy's got a whole fucking KFC spread! That's the difference, is how disturbed.
Starting point is 00:12:54 If I woke up and the guy next to me had a full tray of all the shit we used to get a few years ago, and I would be seething with anger. The point is, I've been spending two high days on eBay trying to figure out exactly what I'd need, what I could fill it with ahead of time, how I would. I'm Ocean's Eleven-ing just one beat to fuck with a guy's head next to me that I think is a million mile or two, but I'm closer to two. Should we go to our sponsors?
Starting point is 00:13:37 Bisbee Laundry and Cafe. If you're new to town, you moved in, you don't want to just keep fucking bothering your neighbor to do laundry. Bisbee Laundry. to town you moved in you don't want to just keep uh fucking bothering your neighbor to do laundry bisbee laundry because sometimes your neighbor's hung over and doesn't want to fucking see anyone uh walking through his yard with a fucking ikea bag full of filthy fucking laundry uh yeah sometimes i like to lock my door bisbee laundry and cafe it routes well with Safeway. Make a day of it. It's got a cafe. Yeah, you can check your tweets. Get a cup of salad.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Tumble dry cycle goes. Yeah, I'm sure they have some finger foods. And it hits Safeway on the way back. So you don't have to take a left. It tastes like bleach, but you're fine. You can do a post office, laundry, Safeway, double back, switch the laundry. You can stop at Tin Town on a Wednesday and get free lunch. Stand in line for the, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Bisbee Laundry. Are we talking about this yet? Can we talk about? No. Some guy gave us two bottles of liquor, and it was great meeting him and him coming out to the show and everything. Why do you think somehow they want to sponsor the show? Because the guy that was the lawyer, I don't know who we met. Was that the lawyer or the guy?
Starting point is 00:15:12 Because he really wants to be sponsored by Booze. Well, then, yeah. I've been home for about 48 hours. I'll call him. You haven't even tasted it. I know. But you put it in front of me twice. So you remember to say thank you.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Oh. All right. I thought I was, I thought I'm missing ad copy. And I'm sorry. I told you we don't have any ads. Thank you. Blackland gin and bourbon whiskey. Do they have the whole, do they have the full package like our other sponsor does we can
Starting point is 00:15:46 co-mingle sponsors when we don't have fucking ad copy when you do that by the way no they do so great stage man loves it yeah he'll let us do anything i'm saying these are both these these are not these are products we want as sponsors that don't send us ad copy. They just trust us to sell product. Do I have to get a fucking standalone of me and my telemarketing trophy together to remind you that I was the tower salesperson of the month, whatever month that was. What were you selling on the phone?
Starting point is 00:16:31 Lots of, at that point. Pens or something? Yeah, no, pens was earlier. That was my last gasp in the telemarketing. The last scam was credit card protection, which I think Jimmy Walker is selling on TV right now or something. He's doing something. He's saying yes yeah say a dynamite which is you never heard him say it
Starting point is 00:16:50 when you were no he refused he refused to say the dynamite the the dollar amount wasn't high enough well I opened for Jimmy this is probably actionable how long goes it you know what you think there's a heavy female contingent outnumbered
Starting point is 00:17:23 four to three but I think it's not the the the the feminine it's the lawyer three of them are lawyers and i i just came out with an actionable reference in a brain that's really not even looking at lawsuits i was more looking at like do i want to burn this bit kind of because i love this bit and where it's going. And the fact that actionable came in, is that a thing? And can we sue you for it? And are any of you in any of,
Starting point is 00:17:57 you know, a good personal injury attorney that I can turn to and say, listen, lady lawyers lit up the podcast with pheromones that made me say stupid things, and I think it's a mental illness, and I want to sue. Go ahead. A good lawyer would just go back to the other podcasts you've done and show a pattern. Lerner and Rowe call 911-00.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Sorry, that's the fucking assholes. I really want to start this, Chaley. It's called the Tucson Black Eye Awards. It's like the Razzies, but for just shit that makes Tucson look bad. Fucking airport. Ladies,
Starting point is 00:18:40 did you use the fucking... Oh, you drove in. Sorry. Point is, you first sat down in Tucson and you go to the fucking take a dump. Single-ply. Their Arizona's airport toilet paper, do you know this, is the same toilet paper they give to prisoners. It's the state. Institutional.
Starting point is 00:19:07 You're embarrassing. That might not be true at all, but that's what I'm. This might be actionable. But what if I called them up and said, listen, but I just to give out, I could probably contract with that. What's the last standing New Times in fucking Tucson? They have one of those. They still do the best ofs and shit.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Yeah, I bet I could fucking put this out. I bet I could sell an article to them. The fucking Tucson Black Eye Awards. The fucking commercials that you go, really? A guy's just put his fucking finger through bad toilet paper at the airport. Now he's going to... I don't think Black Eye Awards is going to fly. Brown. It's is going to fly. Brown.
Starting point is 00:20:06 It's all going to be. Everything that sucks about Tucson, because that way I could wake up with my morning rage while I'm watching the local news. And then I have to watch all these commercials. And then I could feel in control if I just besmirched a lot of reputations. Is that a cultural phenomenon?
Starting point is 00:20:34 Is that the only one, the toilet paper at the airport? Oh, no, no, no. I have a list of things. I'm getting really fucking high, and it's great. I wonder if you could give us another one of those uh paid kings paid kings but the the whole idea the fucking learner in row the most embarrassing billboards they're these fucking two you know they're the fucking biggest douchebags ever that uh and and they just work out the very trashing the very successful attorneys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:07 And they have a horrible, I just tried to say their phone number for real because call Turner and Rowe, that's the way to go. Something OO. But yeah, they're like those, their suits used to fit properly but now
Starting point is 00:21:27 do I want another fucking handmade silk suit or do I want to spend the money on HGH I don't know let's just keep doing till the button pops there they are fucking fake teeth fucking like
Starting point is 00:21:43 spray tanned. What's up with Rex Ryan out there, sports people? I know you tune in for the sports at 40 to the hour. And what's up with Rex Ryan's teeth? Jesus Christ. You fucking need sunglasses just to look at those fucking things. Anyway, anyone who watches NFL Network for anything other
Starting point is 00:22:07 than Anthony Siciliano, you're a fucking douchebag. Now with traffic, anyone, anyone, we should make this a double banger. I don't know. I'm waiting for Chaley to do something.
Starting point is 00:22:28 You're 20 minutes in and you're already going for a second one? You're recording this shit? Wait, we're 20 minutes in? I'm on fire. Time is standing still over there. I feel like things are moving. You're in the house. I feel like things are moving.
Starting point is 00:22:50 You're fucking with me with that 20 minutes. I sound like Inman. You're fucking with me. You're fucking with me. We're not 20 minutes in. It's actually 2126. StageMad. Did we already talk about it?
Starting point is 00:23:01 You started to. I started to, and then I went into something else. It's the theme of this thing stage man underpants why don't you just how about you title the podcast stage man underpants and then when they go hey you didn't uh you didn't promote us during the podcast you go look at the fucking title then you'd get to yell at somebody that's what we both need chaley is someone else to yell at together i feel like we're drifting apart without a mutual hate why i'm not gonna say pick one in the room right now but if you had to hate one of those two girls they're not even introduced to the audience, but they're lawyers. We'll fuck with them later.
Starting point is 00:23:47 I feel it in my veins. I feel a great fuck with coming on. Why should someone buy stage man underwear? Because they keep your cock and your balls in a separate location than your fucking legs. And sometimes I am the biggest social justice warrior you know, but segregation when it comes to balls, cock, and legs, I have some friends in South Africa that call. I don't think that should stay in.
Starting point is 00:24:28 I was trying to... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. One of the lawyers from... I'm not going to say which... ACLU. Close enough. aclu oh it's enough say it again now i forgot apartheid in your pants that's a good one
Starting point is 00:25:00 see now you have to leave the whole thing in, Chaley. I wasn't cutting this one anyway. Not at all. No, Stageman lets us do whatever we want. I know. Yeah. Yeah. No, I just... Dump in anything?
Starting point is 00:25:14 No, I thought it was like, oh, was that racist what I said? No. I said I'm the biggest social justice warrior, so I can say the N-word. That's basically what I said on some theory but point being apartheid in your pants here's what you have to do to apartheid in your own pants you have to go to stage man dot com and then you just put in promo code stanhope so we know that you are fucking living up i you know a lot of sponsors i know you you live behind the fucking dumpster you're not probably gonna buy a a mattress that gets shipped to you not in a po box general delivery eloy
Starting point is 00:26:01 Not in a P.O. box. General Delivery, Eloy, Arizona. They have general delivery? You can't send a Casper to general delivery. Mailboxes are us. It's not acceptable. Oh, Stage Man. Yeah, use my promo code. mailboxes are us does that accept uh oh stage man yeah use my promo code
Starting point is 00:26:29 yep the commercials are content what's the promo code Stanhope fucking whatever it's gonna get you whatever another promo code. 10% off, everyone.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Promo code Stan. Just go to stage man dot com. I think we should renegotiate that 10% right now, because I think that was a very epic saga length advertisement. Do you? Was it? Was it? Seven seconds? Fuck you guys.
Starting point is 00:27:14 You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. So what are we doing? Are we on we're yeah oh shit are we back on yeah chaley we haven't talked since you left memphis or austin whatever uh we like we've talked but i forgot we haven't podcasted since you went on some stupid drug head journey what you kept bothering me during football or something and you're sending me pictures of lighting and some house lighting in austin texas that uh that that uh back, it was a farm party. Yeah. So this lady, she inherited this land, and then we're supposed to go out there, and I'm like, I want to do this.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Where do we go? I'm going to some farm that the Bretchells know this lady. I got fucked up. All right. Oh, it's going to be late. A comet came over and stayed, so it's getting pushed back. 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock. We're not going to get out of here until like 4 o'clock.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Awesome. It's going to be over. It won't even be worth going out there. We get out there. It was fucking magical. They got like 25 acres, two stages, and it's all DIY. They bought a bunch of pizzas. You could pay for pizza or just eat pizza.
Starting point is 00:28:44 The guy's a brewer. Her brother's a brewer. So he's building a brewery out there. They got all this land, and they do these events, like an event center. And then the fucking sun went down, and everything was uplit. All these huge oak trees and stages were all lit with these fantastic colors. It was pretty awesome. And the whole time, there's kids running around
Starting point is 00:29:06 and it's pitch black. And there's, I mean, I don't know if I'd want my kid running around with the ATV and the dogs and stuff, but yeah, it was crazy. It was fun. It inspired me. I didn't understand why,
Starting point is 00:29:19 like you kept sending pictures. It wasn't like, hey, this is a cool idea for the house. And you're like, look at this, look at, and then when you got home, I didn't know until then that you were on ecstasy. Oh, that's why he kept sending me pictures of the trees. I wasn't on ecstasy.
Starting point is 00:29:37 I didn't even drink. Are you working for a corporate now? Are you like Dave Rader was we can't mention like you and behaviors what are you talking about tracy said you were doing molly or something all right i i was still like entranced with the with the lights that were going on oh and they're like five bands playing and austin has so many great musicians. They started with two white rappers, though. So that was when I was like, hey, let's get out of here. Yeah, it didn't bode well.
Starting point is 00:30:10 But then the musicians started playing, and they were all dudes from Austin. They were just about San Marcos, just outside of Austin. It was great. And they couldn't have been nicer. You know, San Marcos is where we played the coffee shop. That was San Marcos Island. No, no. San Marcos is where we did the coffee shop outside in a tent.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Oh, my God. I can't remember his name. Put a cherry on top guy. He's like, we're staying at like a Conno Lodge. Like, they're just too level. All the back windows are big glass. Like, oh, it looks like a Howard Johnson's's but it's like an o'connell lodge the shittiest hotel but he and we're playing a coffee shop where's the fucking tent outside a coffee shop like fucking 80 rental chairs for you know
Starting point is 00:31:00 a funeral and uh and then so the meat was there, and he had a gimmick, and it was just all weird. But this kid that booked us there that loved Frank Sinatra, and he fashioned himself after, it doesn't matter, Nick. Nick Aluto. Nick Aluto. And he's this kid, but he had like, there's nothing more embarrassing to me than misdirected self-esteem.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Like if you have, if you're self-confident and there's nothing to base it on, it's embarrassing and sickening. And Nick Aludo had that. He was like another guy. Oh man, did he? That goes, oh. And Nickelodeon had that. You're like another guy. Oh, man, did he? That just goes, oh. And then he would like, oh, what a douchebag.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Like he came here and he was telling my friends that I really know, like you got to earn your Bisbee bones. Is that that little guy? Yeah. I hated that guy. I remember that gig because that was the hotel. So we're at the shittiest motel. No, you put me back on track.
Starting point is 00:32:10 And we're playing a coffee shop across San Marcos. But he had a deal with his buddy for a stretch limousine. And he asked, do you want to guys meet up early and go cruise around? We want to go if we want to get some food and he would take care of the transportation. In his stretch limousine. Like, I'm not taking a stretch limousine from the fucking most like decrepit fucking Econo Lodge on a highway exit ramp to a tent at a coffee shop
Starting point is 00:32:46 in a stretched limo. That hotel. I should have done. I think we did do it, actually. We did get in the limo at some point. We didn't get there in a limo. That hotel, we checked in. I went to the bed
Starting point is 00:33:01 to just pull back. I always take off the top cover. I went to pull back the just pull back, to always take off the top cover. I went to pull back just the sheet, and there was a cockroach under. Like they made the bed on top of the cockroach, and then that's when I go, here, Doug, I'll cut your hair inside here. You wanted me to cut your hair, and I said, let's do it out of the step. But I shaved your head, that weird thing. Yeah, yeah. Hair all over.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Friar tuck. Yeah. yeah. The hair all over. Friar Tuck. Yeah. That place was so disgusting. Yeah, and that gig was just deuce chills thinking about it. Meat Sticks wanting to do a gag to where he goes, I know, but at the same time, we don't have a lot of stories from the fucking Funny Bone tour, do we? That's true.
Starting point is 00:33:47 I blame the audiences. There's too many of you. When there was only like 18 people coming to see me, we'd all go out and fucking party, and Andy would steal your drugs. What is Andy, Issues with Andyy come out what time is that because i want to set my dvr friday's at 9 a.m we follow a good morning uh la i think it's too late in the podcast but i was gonna tell Valentina, you can bring them in there. It's a smoke-free environment in the main house.
Starting point is 00:34:28 I'm starting to have a hard time seeing them with haze. I don't know if they just want to go. When you're in a position where you have to be polite. No, I think they're fine. My two friends are here from California and Alabama and we were all public
Starting point is 00:34:43 defenders together in Alabama. Doug's being a really good host well i had to do a podcast but that's when i first met manson he's like hey you want to come to my producer's house and listen to a cut of my new album and i fucking hate music like yeah we just met him so when we go up in the fucking hollywood hills and we're sitting in the exact thing you would picture of a producer's house that has his own sound booth but it looks over the kitchen where his wife is making scampi or whatever and uh and i'm just i, all I want to do is smoke cigarettes. Like, just like,
Starting point is 00:35:28 okay. And then all the fucking Hollywood talk and, okay, can we just hear this and leave? Grinding my fucking fingernail into the grooves as I'm saying this. And, and I found one song that I fucking love
Starting point is 00:35:47 and I still use to open or close a show depending on how I feel about you and that was the saving grace of otherwise like what because you're looking at you a guy who knows nothing about music and doesn't like it
Starting point is 00:36:04 because it's blocking the discourse of decent conversation like we're having now. Skintillating is what I say because I put a hook into everything. I better go. Manson had a preview party for Doug to listen to Pale Emperor and Doug actually liked the one song that was the biggest hit off that then I had to have dinner with the fucking producer
Starting point is 00:36:32 and his wife and Manson is trying to be magnanimous and stuff for decent or to the like point being it was an awful night and thank god killing strangers is the one thing that good because oh my god i don't know how this ties into them
Starting point is 00:36:54 oh yeah that's how you might be having to listen to my fucking new album and there's no jokes in it it's just me high yelling into a microphone and you have no idea why we would have to do this year after year. They asked me, how long has your podcast been on? I'm like, I don't know. How long, Joey? April will be eight years.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Wow. Alright, I'm gonna be here for that one. Was the guy's name Tylerler bates the producer of what manson's manson's oh i don't know jesus we're i thought i thought we would recognize i forget what we're talking about this is the best part of being high is uh i don't yeah this is fun there's probably no one else having fun with me out there in listener land hey listeners this is doug stanhope i'm i'm right there with you i'm in your brain i'm i'm like a polyp or a cyst, or some kind of lesion that is not benign. Not benign, listener.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Whatever that turns out to be, I'm going to see you on the other side. Traffic and weather together on the fives and tens on the Doug Stano podcast. Hey, bingo, take us out of here light FM style. One, two, three. Okay, bye-bye now. That was not light FM style. Let's try it again. A little okay.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Okay, bye-bye now. Okay, bye-bye now. Okay, bye-bye now. Oh, my God. Yeah, that edible worked. You think? សូវាប់ពីបានប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.

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