The Doug Stanhope Podcast - EPISODE #29: Hennigan pt. 1

Episode Date: June 9, 2014

In this episode Doug's experiences AirBnB and Uber while in LA to do a bunch of podcasts. Bingo and Doug fly to Hawaii to day drink with Rosanne Barr. Throw in some Howard Stern, Marilyn Manson and wrap it up with stories from Doug's manager, Mr. Brian Hennigan.If you have a story for Doug you can leave a message on the Burner Phone,[phone].Links:Bisbee Blue Baseball: http://bisbee.pecosleague.com/Saxx Underpants:  https://www.saxxunderwear.com/AirBnB: http://bit.ly/1pUgjNkUber : https://www.uber.com/Recorded May 17, 2014 in Doug Stanhope's backyard in Bisbee with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Brian Hennigan (@mrhennigan) and Greg Chaille. Produced and Edited by Greg Chaille (@gregchaille). Intro music "Don't Cut Yr Hair" by Mishka Shubaly. Closing song "Party Time" by The Mattoid. Both available on iTunes.Check Doug's West Coast tour dates at dougstanhope.com. Take a moment to register for 2014 Stanhope Tour news in your area, including the USA, UK, Europe, Australia and more. Register now so you don't miss out.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. The potato peelings in the sink did not turn into vodka as I had hoped I only start to need a drink after the liquor stores have closed I heard you change your name again But don't you change your hair It was the only thing I liked about you In the end La la la I liked about you in the end. La, la, la.

Hey, this is a podcast in L.A. with Brian Hennigan, my business partner slash manager, and my tour manager, Greg Chaley, that we were pretty fucked up and Bingo told us, ah, that sounded boring from the bedroom. So we weren't going to put it out. And then we go, fuck her. What does she know?

We're putting this out. Doug Stanhope podcast from Los Angeles. Greg Chaley, Brian Hennigan, Brian Hennigan. For the record, get this straight. Chaley is my tour manager as well as the producer of this podcast. Brian Hennigan is my filthy uncut Scotsman business manager. I say business partner. And the filthy, uncut Scotsman, Hennigan, gets lots of requests via the Twitter, via the social media, the feedback.

Get more Brian Hennigan. They love you, Hennigan. They love your. If we could have had fucking Hennigan on the James Inman podcast, I would almost fly Inman out. Round trip. You really think that would have worked? There's so much going on. Hennigan and Inman together, the way no one can trash Inman, the way Hennigan gets in his head.

I fuck with Inman, but Brian Hennigan just gets in him like a virus and eats him alive ever since the death valley parties well it actually all started in uh in edinburgh really because i booked him remember oh geez this is a story yeah yeah yeah we never told it well we probably told him and he forgot but i didn't say it on the podcast you brought him over to the edinburgh festival i'm getting my the story i'm getting to is what you were going to do where he's character yeah okay but okay tell us the story about inman well so i mean i've taken let me get this right i built up a head of steam in the uk and edinburgh bringing over a brover you david crowe dwight slade maria bamford nice like it's like you know basically i was like you know four for four like yeah and um she just beat me in a competition i didn't know i was in i only found out from twitter

bamford like yeah Bamford's great. Best road comic. I'm not sure she... But what was the... I don't even know what it... The American... I sent you the thing for the American Comedy Awards. Well, whatever.

Anyway. So, the point is, I saw or met up... I'd seen James Inman with his very funny thing that he used to do called... That'll be news for some people, but this thing called Greyhound Diary which was like an audiovisual presentation, a sort of Bukowski-esque journey across America

narrated by James and I sort of met up with him and seen him in Seattle I thought it was just a book No, no, he did a whole stage slideshow thing. Yeah, yeah. He was very ambitious for James.

And the interesting thing is that at that point he was basically sober. He'd been sober for like two or three years. No. Yes, yes. Guarantee it. But when he came to Edinburgh,

anyway, it took Edinburgh four days to make him start drinking again because it... Or four days for his story to start to fall apart about the two or three years of sobriety. No, no, no. He was pretty... He might have had a length of sobriety, but go ahead. And yeah, it all went very badly. And yeah, it all went very badly. Well, here's the thing. Inman, he goes, oh, now I can do my George Bush material. Three years too late for over there.

Yeah, they're pretty quick with, you know, you can't do tired fucking material there. And here's the thing. Instead of adapting and surviving, he just dug in on this. You don't understand how difficult this is! If I did this in Kansas City, I'd be killed! He's like, well, you're not in Kansas City, James. You're not in Kansas anymore.

He actually said Kansas City. It's like we're in a slightly more different place. So Brian is a master manipulator of the press i was maybe i still am at that at that point let me just you just you had a lot of friends in the press because you did bring a lot of yeah so you called in a lot of favors i called in favors and had them on review his show so that whoa let's un-review a show well then just don't review it at all. Please do not put out there. You came to the show. You saw what it was. Just let this one not appear.

Actual no press is good press. Not bad press, but no press is good press. Can we meet in the middle? And your track record being 4 for 4. You don't want to be besmirched by James Inman. So Inman. Yeah.

So Inman has a streak of horrific shows. Yeah. And then here's the – I think that was the – was it the year? It was the first year that I had been able – Had to be 04 because I think – I think it was just – was it just after my – I did 02. Yeah. So it was 04 when George Bush was already – That's right, because you overlapped with him.

Now, I think that was the year of my eye operation. So I'd had an eye operation, and I couldn't be as mobile as I was, but I still had to make money, because I hate to say this, you people who have regular jobs with fucking insurance and shit but when you're self-employed you can't just take a few months off you know you you know you don't get sick pay so i had this um debilitating eye operation and in lieu of running around like a crazy person i was chairing events at the edinburgh book festival and there was a book event i chaired with a philosopher

called, this goes somewhere by the way, called Ted Hondarich who'd just written this book that had a very controversial statement in it about the Jews or Palestine or something like that to the extent that there were death threats and things like this. And so we were going along and I was chairing the event. I was on the stage with Ted Honderich in front of this packed tent of people at the Edinburgh Book Festival.

And I brought James along because I thought, you know, he's always talking about how fucking intellectual he is and all the things he's interested in and so on and so forth. And so after the event, all he talks about is, I can't believe you took me in there. It was so dangerous.

I could have been attacked. Anything could have happened. It's like, James, you're a fucking bystander. You're nobody. You're some guy with an umbrella in Dallas in 1963. You know, I was on the fucking platform next to the target, okay?

No, you don't understand! It's like, James, I understand everything all too well now, I'm afraid. And James talks constantly about his intellectual capacity and the way that some men will talk about their dick length, you know? And James talks constantly about his intellectual capacity in the way that some men will talk about their dick length. And then the entire time, Edinburgh has more bookshops

of greater depth than most cities in the world, even now, and certainly back then. And James didn't venture out of the apartment to visit one of them. But you decided at some point it would be hilarious if you told the press that James Inman was a character actor creation. Yeah, he was the Paul Rubens of that Pee Wee Herman. Yes.

The secret was that we should lie for like two or three years and then unmask him and say, ha ha ha, we hoodwinked all of you. But no, and then you'd bring him to the press. We'd bring him to the press. He's always in character as this James Inman guy. That's right. Keep him in character and not tell him any of this so that he would just keep going no i'm real which is a brilliant idea yeah yeah yeah we've kind of busted in there yeah yeah

he's kind of busted yeah oh dear but you just, you just, at that point, you were just booking a venue at the Edinburgh Festival. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to even get into all the. The minutia of it all. Of how Edinburgh works. Yeah. I'm against it. It's ripe for a fucking overthrow.

Well, I mean, differences. Well, no, actually, interesting thing is, it's not as ripe for overthrow as other festivals. There are other festivals. I mean, I would say Edinburgh is far better than the prevailing norm which is so people lose more money no no i'm not no no no but at least it's at least in some respects it's voluntary whereas what i what i find more disgusting is the curated festival where it's like oh we've selected you oh you're so you know you're so lucky that we have selected you

to spend your own money to come here. You're going to do 10 nights at this theater. They'll all be sold out and you might make $1,100. After you've spent $900 to get into the country. Yeah. Obviously,

all of us... Do you know how big this festival was in 1978? Which one is this? Oh, yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the laying back on our laurels worldwide festival.

You know, Roseanne Barr almost got a development deal before she was known here. Tell your story of chicken. Chicken. No, no. No? I think you told that story. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, okay. No, we're keeping this on Brian Hennigan. You're the guy with the sweetheart requests. I don't have... Anyway, so that's the James Inman angle. Where the hell have you been? When? Well, recently.

All the time you should have been booking dates. I've been bobbing and scatting. It's funny. We're in Los Angeles right now. My first Airbnb. We rented this place for pennies on the pennies. I have to ask you. We were talking about when we were going

to come out and you had certain days we were going to have to do things so we're kind of busy every day why did you pick this what what was it's on curse on where yeah you know two and a half blocks from the apartment i lived in for 10 years plucking around or something and decided? Yeah, no, I was just fucking off just on a day off with Airbnb. And then I found a place that is right down the street from Hennigan.

We're doing all these podcasts. We're doing Bill Burr, Burt Kreischer, Brett Easton Ellis, Joe Rogan, and then whatever we come up with. It's goodan, and then who, you know, whatever we come up with. It's good to live in an area that you know.

Yeah. And it's, you know, for what hotels cost here, we just get a two bedroom, you know, duplex two and a half blocks from where I grew up in Los Angeles. Cut your teeth.

And now the career. Yeah. So, yeah. So it's, it's nice. And we get to get brian hennigan on the thing who we ran into after we just showed up we should be asleep right now we all took xanax on the plane well tracy chaley's gal pal here tracy has a hard time flying and if you noticed i for one time didn't fuck with you, Tracy, has a hard time flying. And if you noticed, I, for one time, didn't fuck with you.

I have a hard time flying. That's why I use a plane. You're going to do the gaspy over the top into the mic. Shecky Green here. She really is terrified of flying. So I will, like, fuck if she's going to the airport, I'll go, I have a bad feeling about this one. And she's like, don't. And Chaley's kicking me.

That's not funny to her. Did you see that report about Boeing? She started to well up, almost crying at the bar when she thought she had lost her Xanax. And you were gone, so I couldn't ask you if you had another one. I did that once when I thought I was going to get saddled with a bill. You wept like a baby.

It was a little tense today. So yeah, I took a Xanax. Bingo's having a hard day. She took a Xanax. Bingo's having a hard day. She took a Xanax. And then we showed up. And we're supposed to be doing a podcast at some point later on tonight with God knows if he'll wake up by the time

we fall asleep. It's a guy. It'll be the next one. Or not. If it's not, we'll name him. We missed a lot of fucking podcasts. We met Ralphie May. What the fuck happened with Ralphie May?

That wasn't our fault. That wasn't our fault. We thought he was dead. For me, if anything, that would increase his thing in the death pool. The idea that he would just have fallen asleep. Maybe he didn't want to do it. Who knows? There's a lot of reasons he might not have called back. He went to exercise

and that knocked him out and then he woke up at 1.30. Who knows? Like the fucking captain on the ship and fucking Well, he was there the night before. I wasn't shit-faced. We could have done it the night before, but I had just done a show and then you do merch, and I'm doing merch in Nashville on a sidewalk outside the place.

We could have done it that day, but we waited, and then it didn't happen. Zany's is always a fun gig because we got the condo. The other one was John Rocker. Oh, that. Yeah, so I missed that one. Again, that night, if we weren't shit-faced partying that night together well that was a lot of times yeah then hey tomorrow we'll do this but for tonight let's stay out till four in the fucking morning get hammered and then we all fall apart the next

day so those are the two i missed john rocker and ralphie may would have been fantastic in the moment but the next day would have been shit anyway so so tonight we'll try to get uh this one done anyway if nothing else sean rouse is always somewhere nearby here this tale's a fucking broken woe funniest guy in the world but yeah i'm not taking him on the road it reminds me that one time we were in uh costa mesa i think it was i think lynn was with us too and she had a separate hotel room but it was you and i and uh rouse and oh no that's san diego san diego that's judy see San Diego. That's Judy Seymour. The biting and the bottle throwing. No, when he started peeing in the corner on the box.

Might have been the same night. The pizza box. No, it was Costa Mesa. I don't remember Costa Mesa. It was right off the 55 freeway where it ends there. Well, anyway, he was in the corner, blackout drunk, and I thought the whole time he was... Was that him in the corner?

It was, but his eyes were open just enough that I... And he kept mumbling, agreeing with you. They were talking sports, so I wasn't involved in the conversation. But I was noticing that you guys were going back and forth. And this whole time, Rouse is fucking out cold. He's mumbling something, but I don't think it's not coherent. On his feet out cold.

He's pissing. No, no, no. This is when he's sitting in the chair. And then finally, when we all go to sleep, there's pizza boxes, beer. I mean, like Doug crashes out to bed. Rouse is in a bed. I think I was sleeping in the bed with Doug. So like we're kind of like just like on our each half of the bed.

And then I hear this noise and I turn the light on and Rouse is pissing in the pizza box in the room that's balanced on top of one of those floor air conditioners and I run over there and I grab him by the shoulder

with one hand and I grab the pizza box with the other and like shuffle feet shuffle feet to the door. He's guiding him out. and i grabbed the pizza box with the other and like shuffle feet shuffle feet to the door it's a box trying to catch the piss as he holds the guy guiding him out the door have you ever considered a vegas show the aristocrats i get him out to the door and i go hey buddy just out here's fine out here's is fine. And I throw the box down. And this is what I thought that he was coherent the whole time. He had been out for hours, right, sitting in that corner.

He has no recollection of this. He came back in and was trying to piss again. I just turn around and go, until you're done. And then after this, he finally goes back to bed. But I can't sleep because I'm every little anything that happens in the room. I think it's him being I look up and it's Doug. He's in the closet. There's just a bar night.

Same night. There's a bar. There's no closet. There's just a bar and there's a little safe underneath it. Like it's up on a pedestal. He's attracted to the bar. No, a bar like to hang clothes on. He's pushing the clothes to the side,

trying to get into the safe to pee. And I'm like, what are you doing? He goes, what are you doing? I did lend him the line, the witch and the wardrobe. It's probably from that. Here's the thing. There's so many stories between Bingo and Chaley catching me going either through a closet

to try to get to uh in my sleep i know the bathroom's on the other side and i can't understand why someone would put hangers between me and the bathroom and tearing i've torn shit out of the fucking closet trying to get to the bathroom you heard my story one time in uh orlando where in head, like I go around the fucking bed and I'm tearing the fucking lamp off the end table. I'm just trying to get. But there's so many times they've caught me trying to pee in the wrong place. And that's just the time people woke up and caught me like how many times have i pissed all over everything and everyone slept like a baby on ambien or xanax or benadryl and i've just pissed

all over everything and i still refuse to tip housekeeping tipping housekeeping what say you hennigan well funnily enough i do do you yeah you did once on this last trip that place it was we left it so bad yeah it wasn't yeah but you reminded me of you've heard my hudson story no right the hudson is this fucking wank fetched hotel in new york city like a w or something? Yeah. Worse. Like a Trump. Worse. First of all, for the record, not only is Tabasco an abomination of hot sauce,

there is nothing worse than a Trump hotel. Yes. Unless they have to put me up there for another Chris Rock movie or Louis C.K. Thank you for that. So it's a snooty place. Yeah. But Trump is a fan. I don't mind snooty. Highfalutin. No, no. What I

hate is a hotel where people who for people who think because they book into it, they're the shit. That type of hotel. Like, oh, I'm staying here and therefore some of the decor has conferred a

certain status on me that i don't have as in my miserable job as a car salesman okay it's a fucking anyway so i i want to name a hotel which is my favorite hotel in the country in my top five and i will not name them but the people that stay there are cunts because they stay there jupiter hotel in oregon i love it more than anything so but a lot of people show up at that hotel and they're fucking cunty because of it yeah so i'd got this i think either hot wired or something so i wasn't objectionable but it's one of those again it's like oh it's a very trendy hotel but the room's like you know you know eight foot by six of the burmese jail cell and you know and it's very it's very it's very well decor'd but you can see somebody you know

washing their armpits from the if you if they're in the shower it's like oh gosh that's exactly what the type of intimacy i'd hoped for anyway i'd gone out that night because i was in new york on my own and uh on the way back from time square because time square always wakes you up to daylight standards because it's so bright and i thought i'll do a little pub crawl on my own and uh and i went by the time i got back to the hudson do i go to the playwright or the other playwright around the corner yeah playwright tavern do i go to yeah so eventually i i get back to the hotel and i'm fucking hammered i go to sleep I get up in the middle of the night. I make a mistake.

And I, instead of going to the bathroom, I go out into the hotel corridor. And I am now, and I wake up as the door is closing. Click. And I'm now naked in the hotel corridor. And here's the thing. Doug knows this. You know this as well. I am as blind as a bat.

I don't have my contact lenses. Oh, I thought we were going to say you have a huge uncut cock. Well, I had that as well. That wasn't my problem. My problem is I know this because when we share a room, you will still be naked like you were that night alone and just walk around. Like a men's locker room.

And just for the record, I think Henry Phillips has already told his similar story. So we might have already told this on an earlier podcast. But either way. My one trumps his. No, he pissed in the stairwell. All right. So anyway, I'm in the Hudson.

Did he name the hotel? No. Right. Go ahead. He's too much of a pussy. No, you're smarter than him. Yeah. So I'm in the hotel and I'm like blind.

I can just give people an idea. When I don't have my contact lenses in, I'm sitting in a booth right now with 20 2400 let's give a more example i'm in the corridor and i have to go up to the door and put my nose almost against it to see my room number that's that type of level of short-sightedness and i and so i'm like holy fuck holy fuck i know i know it's about three in the morning for some reason i know that it's like holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck so i quickly circumnavigate the entire floor recon it and it's kind of because there's always a fucking hotel telephone but and all the time there are three hotel elevators which you're just waiting for the ding and i'm like i'm sorry so i i'm moving at speed and again i'm doing all this by touch because i can't i can't see a hotel telephone

i'm having to feel for it i go all the way around to find and it's like i can't believe this it's so fucking modern and cool there's no fucking hotel telephone fine uh right he's judging the hotel still in his head he's on yelp in reality he's fucking uncut dick akimbo all over fucking touching walls so then here's the good thing it's like i mean that so i calmed down so i realized like there's no hotel telephone it's like okay calm the fuck down. Okay. There was a door you pushed and it opened. Let's go in that door. So I got back to that door and it was like

the maid's room. That little room that's always in every hotel. Housekeeping room. So they left it open. So I go in and there was an enormous pile. There was like a bucket of laundry so I

immediately pee in that because that's I never heard this part. I am desperate for a fucking pee but at this point you know I'm agitated and desperate even more desperate for a pee and then there is a what do you call it

which is very convenient. A rack. There's a rack of very petite hotel bathrobes that they give you in those fucking wanky hotels. Not proper bathrobes. Sauna, sauna robe. Like a sauna. They barely go down to your thigh. A Roman pet.

So, okay, having relieved myself of the pee, I'm much less agitated and i'm able to sort of form an impression of the type of decorum i have to exhibit to get downstairs so i put i get one of these robes on and then i we go down to the ground floor in the elevator we being me and in the robe in the robe and here's the thing though i, though. I, it's one of those like, one of the ways that they try to impress you is a kind of Grand Central type, you know, hotel foyer.

So it's enormous. And I literally cannot see three feet in front of me. Yeah, but it's 30. So I'm like basically guessing where I'm going in a hotel robe that barely covers my nuts. Right? Much less is uncut.

Yeah. So the serpent hanging down to his knee. And this is the only time this has ever happened. I walk up to the hotel desk across, and there's still people partying and things like that. Starts talking to a wooden Indian. I need my key. Oh, I need my key.

Excuse me. I've been standing here for quite some time. Wow, your accent is even worse than his. I copy it from him. Anyway, so the point is, I managed to make it across to the reception area. And I say to them, again, the important thing in these circumstances is to act like somebody has wronged you. Okay? Okay. And I said... It's a and i said it's a good tip it's a good tip i went i appear to have been locked out

like you want her to confirm it yeah and without this is the important point without she she probably had watched my fucking serpentine advance towards her. You know? Like I was playing a game of hide and seek with an invisible fucking stalker. He's the A-teamer. They're shooting at him. He's going to cross back. He's pushing his hand out

into the darkness in front of him. I'm fucking slaloming towards her like the fucking downhill at Kitzpool. And she sees all this. And the fact that I'm able to coherently say I appear to have been locked out of my room, without even asking for ID, says, what room? And then just gives me the key immediately to get rid of me.

Doesn't say, what's your name? Anything. Didn't even ask my name. Just said, what room number? Well, a blind guy in a half tourniquet with his penis hanging out, but with a good haircut. Yeah. That's the way to get a free room anywhere anytime oh well if you look the part if you don't have tattoos on your face can i tell you a nice haircut yeah just walk in with a a sauna

robe on tune in and i also and here's the punch line is also the only way one of the only ways you will get one of their hotel ropes for free. Yes. No one questions that either. Henry Phillips had a similar story. I think we told it on one of those embarrassing stories podcast. That was in San Diego. And he pissed in the stairwell. But this is the first time you've told me this story where you admitted you pissed in a hamper.

Well done, sir. Good work. Yeah. Good work. Yeah. Good tips. Yeah, the fucking Hudson. All those hotels, they're just grotesque. New York is grotesque, but we've covered that a million times in my act.

What was what? Now, I was curious. It's like, because New York is tough. I mean, I've stayed there a few times, and I've never satisfied. Like, what's a good hotel? Well, fucking for Hennigan. Hennigan is from the whole European circuit where a big room in New York City, which is tiny.

The fucking Britain, the hotels we stay in. which is tiny the fucking britain the hotels we stay in there like the three of us with our luggage are going into hyperventilating terror fits of claustrophobia to go up one floor the worst ever i think was copenhagen denmark when it was a horrifically expensive hotel. We had a single bed. We had a single bed in our rooms. Like a kid's bed. Like a single bed. And then for some reason. For the record.

Because we've alluded to this before and people are going, wait you and Chaley were sleeping together in the same bed? Yeah, those are the nights you have where you just all someone falls down somewhere but yeah we are cheap but we we fucking share rooms generally we don't share beds with hennigan you don't share a room because he's a cunt and he can't sleep with the lights but he can't have an eye mask, and he's sober.

So, yeah. Cheaper just to get a separate room. Well, no, it's not cheaper over there. Over there, it's wicked expensive for so much less. I know. Yeah. I meant hassle factor. The thing is, I remember in this Danish hotel, it was expensive, and they released a certain type of clientele. And the bartender hated Doug from the moment he saw him.

And we sat at the bar. And Doug was determined to be liked. Because it's one of his traits. Doug's like, you like people to like you. Yes, I do and this guy off stage yeah off stage I don't care but you're and you're a master at flipping yeah you can do a 180 on people like this guy you know so and he was like Doug was giving like not just for Europe for USA big tips you know and then after I think we went we went and did the gig and you came back

and we're like no we're going back to that bar yeah no i remember that bar he did not give you one iota of warmth like you know he i think he was just like giving bigger and bigger tips and it's like the guy was like it's it's the anyone listening. You know, the bad beat you're getting from that Asian dealer at four in the morning and you're going to hit the 18 ATM again. And I'm going to come back and a fucking beat you. I'm going to smile, but I'm going to fucking beat you because you can't. I cannot lose this much money, this many hands in a row. I'm due i could not tip this fucking stoic fucking viking idiot fucking arrogant bartender i know i'm gonna go to the atm i'm gonna tip you more because i'm

due for a smile i'm so overdue for a smile yes i didn't get that smile yeah i think his name was i remember his name are you sure that was Denmark? That was Denmark. All right. I was remembering... His name was Alex or... Wow. Something like that.

What a fucking memory. And he was old. He's like in his 50s. And he just... He felt we were insulting the bar just by being in it. You know? With all your dirty cash. He looked like the 1970 Ben Davidson, I think,

is the linebacker from the Oakland Raiders. The big handlebar mustache. He was in the old Taste Great Less Filling commercials. I think he's the one who lifts up the pool table and all the balls drain into one corner. Ben Davidson, I believe. Yeah, put an old cunt like that. The Hudson does have a

very nice outside barrier you can sit in. That's no plug. We're not getting sponsorship like that. I need to go for a pee. All right, we'll put that down. We'll talk about you behind your back. That's Brian Hennennigan who's still trying to get us fucking booked in australia why no not shut up it's fucking australia's fault

hey if you have a great story especially if you're uh in one of the towns we'll be touring on, check DougStanhope.com on the tour dates. Hey, if you're in that town and you have a great story you want to tell us on the podcast, we probably won't use you. But the only way we're going to find out is if you call 520-366-1078. That's 520-366-1078. That's our fucking burner phone for the podcast.

And that way we can figure out if you can speak. We tried this beforehand again, which I like trying to get people who have good stories when we're in fuck off Wyoming or wherever. Hey, but then they, they, what they do is they email,

email it. Oh, well then what they do is they email it. Oh, well, you might be able to email, but then you can't talk when you get there. That makes sense. Yeah, so that's why we got this. Did you see this? It's the new Doug Stano burner phone. I like that. Yeah, Doug Stano podcast burner phone.

What's that number? 520-366-1078. Sorry, did you say 520? Oh, 366-1078. Sorry, did you say 520? Oh, 366-1078. I wasn't sure about that. You have to do it in a sing-song way. That's how they do it in real commercials. Oh, really?

520-366-1078. Eight, eight, eight. All right. 37 minutes that's no podcast what other stories how about that old girl that saved your life that's not that's not really a good story that's sap? No, he almost stepped in front of a train or a bus. In Hong Kong. It's an interesting story in the sense that I can point to a point in my life where somebody probably saved my life. Literally. I was stepping off a curb and she grabbed me and pulled me back

and a bus went straight past that same thing happened with Brett Erickson and I in Amsterdam we were down looking for mushrooms it was so early in the morning we were drunk that's where our stories diverge but I pulled him back and the bus mirror

I mean it was fucking insane and I didn't realize and he looked at me and was like fucking A I mean I didn't realize how he looked at me as like fucking a i mean and i didn't realize how big of a deal it was but uh yeah and that's so that's so great that we have brian here as a uh a centerpiece so when he brings up a story you can use that as i thought he was done no his story ends with that's the first time he admitted that he loved a girl to me oh really it seemed like he was done

you loved her so much and you never told her that story how she saved you you were modeling one night and you told us that story me and Bingo not the riffraff here but me and Bingo you told us that story

and you said I never told her that and I love her so much. Well, those things happen. Not to you. I thought your story was over. I didn't know you were going to tell us a part that you didn't think you were going to tell us either. Well, then Captain, interrupt us.

Alright, we're going to go find out if we can do this other dumb podcast this will this will this will drop in this will be filler podcast okay not our best don't discount it it's not bad it's not bad i'd love hearing hennigan stories hennigan's always got good stories but he was filler tonight so we're still waiting for that other podcast. I was meat in the room. Meat in the room. Yeah. Okay. Is that it?

We're done? Are we going to have to do... Apparently not. Are we going to have to do sponsorship? With who? Well, that announcement. Oh, yeah. It depends. Actually, this is probably going to go out before.

Yeah, don't worry about it. All right. Before. All right. Do another ending. Do another ending. No, we don't have to do another ending. No, it'll be interesting to talk about.

Oh, no. Teases people. What are they talking about at the end? Who knows? I'm cutting this up. Fuck you. You're not cutting anything. Okay, that's the end of the podcast.

If any of this has been cut, contact me directly via postcard at 212 Van Dyke Street, Bisbee, Arizona, 85603. Oh, no, it's the fuzz. Or just come and spray paint it on my fence. All right, goodbye. I'm cutting that out, too. No, you're not.

I'll cut you out. Greg Chaley's been cut out of this podcast actually you know what listen to this podcast and then don't listen to the Greg Chaley parts goodnight thanks Brian Hennigan 0 2 1 3 4 send it to zoom I don't know what you're looking at me for play the mattoid

play the mattoid. Remember that part. Play the mattoid. You've been listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast, recorded at Airbnb in Los Angeles, with Doug Stanhope, Brian Hennigan, and Greg Shaley. Produced and engineered by me, Shaley. This podcast is sponsored by Airbnb and Saks Underpants. Call Stanhope's burner phone at 520-366-1078. And check out the West Coast tour dates at DougStanhope.com. Thanks for listening.

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