The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Episode #39: Doug and author Alex O'Meara talk Johnny Depp and Hunter S. Thompson.

Episode Date: September 8, 2014

Bisbee resident and published author Alex O'Meara interviews his friend Doug Stanhope. Also, the introduction of the "Who Would You Rather Day Drink With?" game. This podcast sponsored by - The Shady Dell - www.theshadydell.comRecorded Sep. 02, 2014 in the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope) and author Alex O’Meara. Edited by Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille).Check Doug's tour dates at dougstanhope.com. Register for 2014 Stanhope Tour news in your area, including the USA, UK, Europe, Australia and more (and possibly less too). We're working it all out. Either way, register now at dougstanhope.com so you don't miss out.Intro music "Don't Cut Yr Hair" by Mishka Shubaly. Closing song "Party Time" by The Mattoid.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. The potato peelings in the sink Did not turn into vodka as I had hoped I only start to need a drink After the liquor stores are closed I heard you change your name again But don't you change your hair It was the only thing I liked about you In the end

La la la I like about you in the end. La, la, la. This is the Doug Stanhope podcast. I don't know what number. Whatever podcast. It's been a while. Sorry, I was away and I didn't have my tour manager, so I didn't have all this equipment, which I hope is working. To the best of my knowledge, this is working. It's a very special episode of the Doug Stanhope Podcast, where the guest is me, Doug Stanhope, with my good friend

Alex O'Meara, who we've tried to have on the podcast. He's here in Bisbee, a local legend, He's here in Bisbee, a local legend, son of a huge local legend. I remember when we played poker the first time with Jake LaMotta, and I brought you over, and it's a couple of old rummies from town, and Jake, I shouldn't say old rummies, but craggy old guys, Danny, who's saying, hey, it's Danny, man. We're playing poker with the champ, you want to come over so i asked to bring alex because he's a local poker player and i wanted someone to share it with uh and yeah you you sat down and eventually someone talked to you and there were

like three guys who knew who uh asked me olders. Old timers and turned out my dad, whose name is Wolf, lived here, moved here in 1975, was a great drunk for a long time. He eventually quit drinking. When he quit, I asked him how he quit. He said he didn't actually quit. He retired undefeated. And my dad had once run for justice of the peace in Bisbee and his slogan was, why hire a lawyer when you can buy a judge? So that was my dad had once run for justice of the peace in Bisbee, and his slogan was, why hire a lawyer when you can buy a judge? So that was my dad. That was a lot of my dad.

And these guys knew him. They knew of him. You became the biggest celebrity at the table just dropping your dad's name. Well, there was that phone call that Danny got, and he's talking to somebody on the phone. He's getting all anxious. He's like, I can't talk right now. I can't talk. I'm with celebrities. I'm with celebrities.

I'm with the champ. I'm with Doug Stanhope. And I'm with Wolf's son. So it was a nice moment. Yeah, we'll get into your dad stories. Or first of all, it's your interview. You can start with that. I don't know.

All right, well, I wanted to talk to you about celebrity and about what it's like. And I saw on your Facebook page that you recently hung out with Johnny Depp at Target. And that to me is just surreal as hell, and I'm wondering how that came about. First of all, how did you get in touch with Johnny Depp? How did that relationship start? I don't know if we've talked about this. Maybe I just talked about it on Stern. He sent an email, or his agency sent an email last year when we were doing that

Canada tour and I had just put out a new album so I'm working out all new shit and the second night I get this email that Brian fielded my manager and said one of our clients would like to reach out to Doug

Stanhope. How do we go about this? Right before I go on stage I get Hennigan texting saying, evidently Johnny Depp will be contacting you. I have no further information. Nice. Which, yeah, really fucks up your set. And I go, what? I text back, what?

He goes, evidently Johnny Depp will be contacting you. I have no further information. You fucking asshole. Just give me. Please hold for the queen. Yeah. Yeah. So I go on stage and all I can think about is why the fuck is Johnny Depp going to call me?

Sure. And then he didn't call. And then I had to keep my phone on. Right. And answer every unrecognizable number to every asshole. Hey, will you do my podcast? Like, fuck. So you're literally sitting by the phone.

Yeah. And it was like nine days of that. So it's just me and Chaley on tour. I'm trying to fucking go over. Okay, this segues to the, why would he be calling me? Hey, focus on your set. Does he need a ride to the airport? No one wants to give you a ride to the airport in L.A.

So, yeah, it was befuddling. And then he called and he just said, you know, he was a huge fan and he had an idea for a TV show. And, you know, he'd come to Bisbee. You don't have to come here. I know you're busy. I can come to Bisbee. And then I'm like, holy fuck, Johnny Depp's going to be at my house.

That would have been – you couldn't have kept people away. It was – yeah, the tour was slipshod at best, which was great because this time, Hennigan, we play L.A. – yes, long story short, we went to see him in London when he was filming in December for two weeks. I hadn't heard from him in a couple of months since I did Stern. Maybe he just doesn't like me anymore. Then when I was in L.A., he said, hey, I want to bring my 12-year-old to your show. Do you think you can make that happen?

Great. No, no other 12-year-old, but your 12-year-old. Let that slide. Was he cool? I mean, just as a person. Yeah, he was cool, but it was a fucking, like, a whole secret service kind of thing. They had to shut down the entire back room of the comedy store. Right.

Three security guys come as advanced men to scope out, like, every exit and entrance. Seriously? Yeah. Wow. So him and his sister, who's, like, his manager, and his 12-year-old kid, who went out backstage before the show and for two hours afterwards. Right. And then he said, oh, I have some more ideas for that show.

I wish you could stay. Fuck, I can stay. Right, sure, absolutely. I changed my flight for three days, and he moved us into one of his houses. He has a fucking street in L.A. He owns every house but one, so he put us in one of his houses. Right. Was that your first time being around that that level of celebrity i mean the fact that this guy i mean this is i mean

advanced teams that's presidents yeah it's you know yeah i never like i never had to deal with it we were always at his place in london or you know he was always it wasn't like walking down sunset strip and paparazzi. Right. Which kind of would have been fucking cool. Yeah, there would have been actually. Yeah. It could have been in People Magazine and everything.

Yeah. So he put us up at his house and the next day it was great because Hennigan's over there. I was sitting out on the back deck smoking cigarettes and Hennigan's got his laptop trying to work out this tour coming up and he says you know i i find it very difficult to concentrate you know with the whole johnny depp thing i see how that's what canada was like trying to fucking work out a brand new hour when you're waiting for johnny to call for some unknown reason right uh and you do you do you get used to that i mean you've been around him a little bit. Does that stuff fade into the background? I mean, the whole show of him being him, does that become nothing?

No, because when you're hanging around, it's very private. Okay. It's not like he's a weird dude or anything. Right. He's definitely on my level, even though he doesn't drink anymore. He's still in that mindset. Okay. So, yeah, it's just like hanging around with anyone else.

But you still know he's fucking Johnny Depp. He can't walk outside. Yeah, right. He can't go, oh, I forgot my cigarettes in my car. I'll be right back. Yeah, I'll run the Circle K. There has to be a squad that goes out. But yeah, we went out to dinner,

and he has his own back room of the place he's a regular at. And the maitre d', they've been going there for 20 years. So maitre d' would walk by and see I was low on cigarettes. Because you can smoke anywhere with Johnny Depp. Seriously? I mean, there's no smoking zone. No, no. That's awesome.

So yeah, they'd come over. Every cigarette, they empty your ashtray. And when they see your pack is low low they send out for a pack without asking this is fucking cool it is cool yeah it's like louis the 18th or something yeah oh yes please but you know that one day we were there he texted me he said would you like to meet my other uh my genius daughter we're going to target i've never been to target which we could get arrested right you went to target what was for like an No. Where's the paparazzi? Right.

But what brought that about? You just figured – He just – he had to bring his kid to Target for school supplies. Cool. Which he could have not done. Right. He could have sent one of his henchmen. But he wanted to go because he'd never been.

So we spent 45 minutes in Target where he looks just like Johnny Depp. He's not trying to do the Hollywood baseball hat, sunglasses. Looking like an eyewitness protection. He's just like a fucking swashbuckler with a Johnny Depp hat. And Johnny Depp, he looked like an impersonator. Right. I think that actually a lot of people probably thought, nah, he wouldn't be dressed like that. Why would Johnny Depp be a target?

Exactly. Maybe four or five people asked for a picture quietly. Okay. Yeah. Wow, that's weird. And the whole thing seems surreal to me, the whole setup of doing that. But I guess you get used to anything, right? I mean, it's just, it's Johnny Depp.

But if he's an asshole, then you, or if he's not, you get used to who he is as a person pretty quickly. Yeah, but when he doesn't call you for two months and you were working on a thing and then you don't hear from him, like wait maybe johnny depp doesn't like me anymore did we break up i fucking i wish i could tell you there's been one day in the last year i have not thought about johnny depp wow which is not a not a way for a 47 year old man to spend his time wondering will he call me oh geez now you used to live in la for years. for years. Yeah, 10 years. 10 years. And why did you leave L.A.? I hated it.

There was nothing there I wanted. I lived my life to avoid traffic, which you can't do. The last probably two years I lived there, I didn't even do sets to speak of. I wouldn't even go out and go to the comedy store to do a set just because i didn't want to drive or deal with fucking that many people but had you moved there because that's where you need to be in order to start a career was that the i mean you're not an la guy discovered at one point i did a i won the san francisco comedy competition in 95 and i also did a short-lived Vale comedy festival slash competition. And that's where the first time I'd ever been in front of any kind of industry.

So I got signed to a really small deal, like $14,000, which was a million dollars. Of course. Right. Yeah. I was living out of my car for three years. So I got a deal with HIP, HBO's production company, and I got an agent and a manager. And then when I won San Francisco, I had the money to move because that was $10,000. Right.

So I moved down and got an apartment. And yeah, then I went on auditions and stuff. For TV shows? Just because I thought that's what you have to do. No, for fucking, yeah, commercials, TV shows. Seriously? No, I think, what was it? It's not Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Dude, Where's My Car? You auditioned for that? I had, I think that's the one. There was one where I realized that I keep auditioning for things just because I had long hair. Like they put me in for surfer parts. Right, right.

I can't do that. I'm not an actor, but I didn't think you could tell your agent no. So you were taking anything that was put in front of you, basically, to try. I was a yes man. I didn't know what I was doing. no. So you were taking anything that was put in front of you to try. I was a yes man. I didn't know what I was doing. Did you land any?

Did you land any commercials? You know, I forget stuff. It's weird. When I first moved there, I was at the bar at the improv and Christopher whatever, Reverend Jim Ignatowski. Oh, Christopher Lloyd. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Christopher Lloyd was at the bar

as drunk as he seemed like reverend jim really is that pretty hammered okay but uh my cousin was an actor for a brief time moved out to la and did a pilot this is back in the 80s when a pilot actually aired yeah they decided if people liked it well enough so he had been on the pilot episode co-starring with reverend jim uh-huh and so i walked up to him sheepishly and said i don't mean to bother you sir but you did a a pilot with my cousin grant forsberg uh i don't know what it was called it's probably like 1984 he goes i don't know i've done so many shows and i'm like how can you do a tv show and forget about it right and now i'm that guy really now you'd be like i don't remember vancouver yeah i'm sure i've landed i did a i i acted in two things that i just remembered because

sherilyn fenn yeah yeah on uh ray dunovan now okay all right from a wicked asshole at a rap party but i thought it was my girlfriend's rap party but i realized i i i mdb'd her and i realized oh i was on a show with her it was our rap party and my girlfriend was there and they got into a bit of a cat scrap really not physical but get the fuck out of my party. Evidently, they had dated the same man or something. But you had totally forgotten about it. I had forgotten I did that. I was homeless Jack. It's on my IMDP page.

Nice. Now, you lived in LA for 10 years and you left. Beyond the traffic and everything, you weren't getting jobs or wasn't helping your career? No, I was getting. I'd get just enough to keep me there. And I'd always say, I don't want to live here. I don't want to be an actor. I can do the road from anywhere.

So why do we live here if we hate it so much? I was with Renee at the time, my last girl. But every time we'd decide to move, you'd get some dumb pilot that'd pay you $30,000. Okay. You know, every year I'd get some dumb shit that'd pay you 30 grand okay you know just you know every year i get some dumb shit that just keeps me staying enough to keep you in your efficiency apartment with mushroom colored carpeting and and going yeah right so okay and then when i i turned down the man show and they called repeatedly like they really want you can you just audition and i i

so i i finally auditioned and i got it i'm like fuck all right you didn't want to do it no i i didn't i didn't want to audition for it okay uh because the the threat of getting it wasn't that good and i suck at auditioning but okay yeah there's like 10 different comics that they'd pair us all up uh like i remember dane cook was one of them uh patrice o'neill george gray who you know lives here part-time yeah he has a house here uh-huh uh and then they'd pair you up and just to see who had chemistry and you'd go through fake you know in front of a you know small paid audience okay do fake run-throughs of different things like a focus group or something basically yeah Yeah. I mean almost. Yeah. Yeah.

So yeah. And when you got the man show, you were on TV. And so did – okay. When was the first time in your career when people like – or have they ever recognized you like going out? Rarely. Really? Even then it wasn't much more than – like I always say I'm famous within 100 feet of my show and nowhere else right uh but uh yeah it was it was a lot of fun because it was something i'd never done before

but at the same time we knew it was gonna suck right every every day you spent in that office and every idea that got shit canned or okayed you go that's terrible that's not a funny idea at all you know the show is gonna suck right so we had a lot of fun doing it because me and andy andrews fucked off we lived in our office we had it set up like a mash tent i don't know if i've told everyone this on this podcast before right but uh but yeah you know the end result is going to be a piece of shit because you're in this machine i remember when they the head office – at one point, I don't know if I've told this story. At one point, all our gags were just calling either ourselves or the audience that watches us queers. We had so many queer things that they had to draw straws at Stone Stanley for which exec was going to come down and tell us no no more gay

jokes all right you can't keep calling the audience a bunch of homos so at some point you were just entertaining yourself it sounds like exactly yeah we'd make margaritas in the office the lawyer uh dunce hellberg we called him his last name is hellberg would come in and say you guys can't be living here. Why? We're not living here just because there's bed and bedding and we have a cot and a couch and a clothesline. And a blender. And a blender. You can't be making – no, the blender is a prop.

We're trying it out for a gag. These aren't real margaritas. Who would be drunk at 4 o'clock in the afternoon at work? Where do – in a celebrity sphere such as it is, where do you think comedians, stand-up comedians in particular rank? I mean are they – I mean I'm a writer. I know writers are like a notch above botanist. But what about – are they all trying to get TV? I guess what I'm asking is, is it the material? Is it the work?

Or is it the – do they go into it wanting to be famous, most of them? In your experience. I mean, I know it's a generalization, but. I think probably everyone wants to be famous on some level. I couldn't tell you the percentage of comedians that are just using it as a springboard to TV or film. Right. Or something else. But most of them seem to be.

Right. One thing Hedberg and I had in common is I kind of just want to do stand-up comedy. Why can't I do that? Just do stand-up comedy. I'm going to do such a disjustice to the joke. But Hedberg's joke about people say, oh, you're a comic.

Can you write? That's how you say, oh, you're a cook. Can you farm? can you write? That's how you say, oh, you're a cook. Can you farm? Yeah, they want you to do something else. You're not, unless you are, you know,

a Jeff Foxworthy or a Chris Rock, you're not considered successful if you're just doing the road. So unless you're a brand, basically. Yeah. I mean, or unless you're this thing. Like Eddie Murphy, I think, probably set the standard for that. Richard Pryor did a little of it, but Eddie Murphy became a comedian, then he became a film star, then he became this and that and the other, and everything else exploded.

Yeah. Yeah, I always challenge people to name. Jeff Foxworthy, I think, is the only one I could name. A comedian that got famous for doing standup comedy in the nineties. Okay. When I started, I started in 90 and there's not a single guy. I mean,

there's people, you know, like Jim Carrey, but you didn't know his standup. You might've seen it after he got famous from doing movies and then they'd run something he did, but he wasn't famous from doing. And the weird thing about that is those comedians you mentioned who became

famous, stopped doing standup. Yeah. They seemed to. I mean, you can tell that it was a stepping stone. But Robin Williams kept doing stand-up. Yeah. Didn't he, which is weird.

Some people will go out and fuck with it. Right, right. Or do specials or, you know, whether they're good or bad. I mean, it's beyond the point. But they still keep their hand in, you know. I mean, he used to say that that was what kept him limber. Yeah. A lot of them don't

keep their hand in it they decide that oh i haven't i haven't done anything in 10 years and it's too hard to sit there and write an act again or i don't know but i don't know what the motivation was it did an hbo special uh he brought out a newspaper it's like one of the old school 70s guys that has been disappeared forever and brought out a newspaper like he's just doing topical stuff but he's all this shit is like five years old right right monica lewinsky look at that but a lot of people i don't i shouldn't even name names because i i haven't actually seen their specials yeah yeah uh robert klein all right okay yeah no no dropping that name gets me in a

fucking hollywood trouble but yeah it's not like he kept his hand in comedy that i know of right right you know he became yeah he did a lot of law and orders yeah right yeah yeah yeah right agents pitched you know hbo often enough there you go oh it's green lit. All right, hire some writers and get an act. When you were here on Bisbee, you met Jake LaMotta, and I'll never forget you had him sign a set of boxing gloves. Oh, yeah. I was nervous as a kitten when I heard he was coming over to watch football that first time we met him.

Russ Dunn was giving me wicked shit. He's mocking you for being all entranced. Well, I was waiting out front because i know the guy's 150 years old and it was a gravel driveway so i don't know if he's gonna need fucking help getting down it so just the fact that i'm sitting out there watching for headlights right russ is like oh fucking but and you said at the time remember that you don't you don't mind being you don't mind being laudatory toward the person you're not going to be all cool and like oh yeah but he's famous but i'm going to stand over here

and not notice kind of thing you know what i mean you would you give this you give the famous guys do first of all and 90 year old people kind of fall into that they get a lot of respect deference yeah yes deference that's the word yeah if anyone's fucking 90 and can still walk and they're gonna come to your house yeah you make a special setting for them absolutely but yeah i had these the those boxing gloves i fought tanya harding and she refused to sign them because she thought i'd just sell them on ebay wow so well i got jay glomata to sign them that's great yeah it's a step up you told me the story um which is when you were living in la

you were dating christine hajj and um you went to the academy awards yeah that was my she was a child star on a show called head of the class and i got set up with her and we dated for like three years but she was she was like such a great i don't want to say con artist but she could get in anywhere so we went out to these uh uh academy award after parties uh where she just you know you know flail her long red locks like she belonged there. And enough paparazzi knew her. They'd take pictures. So she'd just walk in.

Like she belonged. Just look like you belong, which is the first art of being on the grift. She could get anything. She was amazing. Ah, fuck. The dogs. Shut it! So, yeah, she got us into all these parties.

And at that time, I had a death row pen pal named Victor Farr, who is still alive as far as I know. What was he on death row for? Murder is pretty much the only thing you can be on death row for. But who? He had killed a couple. He had carjacked two girls or tried to carjack them, and then they pissed him off somehow. So he shot them both, but they lived. So he went to a different car that had a couple in it, carjacked them.

The guy took off. The girl stayed in the car, and they got into a police chase, and he wrapped the car around a telephone pole and killed her. So felony murder. Okay. All right. So not a nice guy. Yeah, he was going through a bad time, I guess. the car around a telephone pole and killed her so it's well felony murder okay all right uh so not a nice guy yeah he was had a he's going through a bad time i guess but he put it he put an ad in the classifieds this is how long ago this is the la times classifieds under uh pen pals i think it

was the category yeah they had that yeah and it said uh death row inmate uh white male six to 185 pounds responds to all correspondence so i wrote him a long letter saying i was more intrigued with the fact that you included your height and weight that's what i was wondering i'm like you're on death row did you think someone wouldn't write to you because you're a bit too junky? So he wrote me back this letter saying that, thank you. That was the first time I've been able to laugh in here in years. You have no idea what it means to be able to laugh in a place like this. So then I kept writing him letters.

I still have boxes in the crawl space of years of correspondence with Victor Farr. I visited him a few times on death row. Seriously? Okay. Which was weird because at the time, my mother was still living in Florida and she had a graveyard shift job as a nurse in a nursing home. So I'd see him during the day, then drive to my mother's place in Crystal River

and visit her at work. And a nursing home was a hundred times more depressing than fucking death row because death row everyone's just happy to be out of their cell and someone's going to actually visit them and it was it was like this there was no like behind glass you're in a room with probably you know 24 tables so it's not a movie of the week thing it's not like that yeah okay yeah yeah you could get uh for five bucks you could get your picture taken with a Polaroid, a guard, and take your picture. Wow.

Yeah. And, yeah, it was fucking great. I mean, not great. No, but it was interesting to say. You go to a fucking nursing home at midnight, and you just hear these moans down ceramic hallways of people who, you know, 15 years have been laying in bed with dementia, have no no idea what they are. Night terrors and, yeah. My first wife used to, we'd go and volunteer for Christmas at nursing homes. And she was very giving. She works with burn patients.

She's a nurse right now. I mean, that's pediatric burn. I mean, domine son trepa. I mean, you know, she's a saint. So, and I would go and be like, I think I'm good until next Christmas. I'm fine. That was really weird. That's horrific.

Putting off, putting off. So you met this guy, and then you go to these after parties this year with your girlfriend. I had a picture of him in my wallet. So no one talks to me. She can always find someone that she has two degrees of separation from some movie. Do you remember me? So she's talking to everyone i have nothing to say uh so i just go up to random stars and say i don't mean

to bother you but uh my retarded brother kevin was supposed to be here but he can't he would love it if we could get a picture together so i get me and death row vict Victor, I got Nicole Kidman. I got Winona Ryder, Dennis Rodman. They're all happy to do it. Right. Pictures back to death row. That's awesome. Um,

when, uh, we're talking about, you know, that was, uh, that was weird. Cause I was,

when I was, I was kind of, I was nobody at all. Even in comedy, I was barely known. But you were a wallflower at this party. I was on my way up. I just got discovered. Right. Yes. I was a really shitty boyfriend because I had a lot of jealousy because even if she didn't know people

she knew people and was oj simpson after he got yeah after he got let off fucking called her up because they used to like her and her brother oj would they i don't know how they knew him but like he flew them to super bowls as a kid when she was on that show okay all right all right to super bowls as a kid when she was on that show okay all right all right nothing weird there yeah he called he called her to ask her out after he got let off what'd you say guilty she said i i just blew him off i didn't know what to say but i just but what are you gonna do hey quit calling my girlfriend oj simpson you murderer there's famous and then there's infamous. I guess it's a fine line, man. When you were a kid or before you discovered,

did you ever meet anyone that you ever really wanted to meet? Like make an effort or just have it happen? Someone you were like venerated or anything? Hang on one second. Chad, make yourself at home.

Budlight's in the... Budlight in there. There's Miller Light in here There's Red Zappal Ale Wow we're dropping a lot of fucking names that aren't sponsoring us I'll figure it out And there's Alka-Seltzer in the bathroom Yeah I don't remember being a kid much

But I don't I never wrote fan letters or anything like that Okay alright so you weren't all about celebrity worship And all that kind of stuff I remember when i was probably 11 or 12 there was something in the newspaper it was a cattle call for some big film and i remember daydreaming daydreaming about i want to be that guy really i want to be that kid i don't think i followed it up right like most of the things in my life i wanted to do the um you're more well known than you were even well back then certainly is that good or is that bad in a in a does it make any difference in your daily life of how things you know we talk about

johnny depp and he's got people you know You don't have people. That's the annoying part about the whole Johnny Depp thing and thinking about that all the time where I blew off Hollywood. That's why I came here. Right. And everything that's happened since I've been out here was a happy accident. I'm not chasing anything down. Okay. So Louis C.K. says, hey, will you do this? Yeah, I'll give it a shot.

I'm not making calls but you don't wake up all motivated to to you know make something happen and all that kind of stuff yeah so there's part of it is i don't want to have to be motivated but i'm not gonna fucking blow it off okay you want to make a show shit yeah all right yeah it's flying out we're gonna fuck but it's not like you're sending query letters out to stars going, hey, I've got a great idea for a sitcom. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. All right.

All right. It's almost like you don't want to get tricked back into it. Every time you go, oh, shit, I haven't heard back from Johnny in a long time. Don't fucking trick me into wanting to be in Hollywood where I don't really want to be. Bingo mentioned to me that the email from Johnny Depp that a lot of times

people reach out and you never hear from them again. That's uncommon at times. Oh, really? Okay. Anytime I have a comic over, we get drunk and talk about doing something. We should tour together.

How many podcasts have I done where Bert Kreischer and I are going to tour together and Bill Burr and I are going to tour together? And it just doesn't usually – you don't get around to it. So you have to keep that in mind. Right, right. The whole time I was at – we were staying at Depp's house. You go out to dinner. I remember quoting Mitch Hedberg's joke at dinner, the one where he says, every time my agents take me out for dinner, I always reach for my wallet at the end. Because inside there's a note that says, remember to say thank you.

Because I'm not even going to try to pull my fucking credit card out for the renting out the back room on a Saturday night forever. Right. Until three in the morning when all the fucking help is slouched over chairs just waiting for you to leave. But I had to keep in mind, like when we hosted two baseball players here. Yes. At the other house. We put them up for the season. And they make $50 a week, which they can lose all of on a broken bat.

Right, right. And so I don't want to overcompensate. Like, fucking let's do whatever. You can use the car. Before I get too deep into that, I had to remember, when I started, I was doing comedy for nothing. That's the way it goes. That is the way it is. I was paying to do it.

I was losing money driving all the way to Montana to make $125 just to do it. So I had to keep in mind, that's part of the game. That is part of the game. That kind of weeds people out who might be too weak or not committed enough to right to actually make it happen right yeah yeah i'm not their stepfather just fucking put your wallet away but you also because you're well known uh get to do things like like raising money for the the atheists in oklahoma which you know sounds funny and all that stuff but you actually help somebody only by the – Tenacious fan base that I have.

Yes. Which I hate using audience. Audience, not fans. But being able to do that does have – it's not like you're Angelina Jolie saving kids in Saudi Arabia or wherever the hell she goes. But you're able to do things you want to do that are of interest to you that can then happen rather than being a danger. And we're going to talk about this on the next podcast, which is all about rage with Chad Shank.

It'll be next week's podcast to you, but it'll be next hour's podcast for us is that I have to keep that in check because sometimes you go a couple of times. It's been the opposite where like some guy wrote a blog that someone found where he was basically quoting all of my bits as though they were they were his i remember that yeah uh troy holm i still remember his name and he had this whole blog and he'd be tweeting and facebooking come to this blog and read my tales of sex and drugs and whatever and then you go there and it's either if it's not my bits verbatim right it's blog entries

from my blog where he changes rogan to my friend jim but exact word for word wow so i just fucking i wrote something on twitter this guy's trying to steal my fucking core persona. Right. Fuck with him. That's all I wrote. And your people stomped on him. Oh, my God. To the point where I had to tell him that's – this is way too far.

Every Facebook picture has – like I was writing, I know what you did last summer as a comment. picture had like i was writing i know what you did last summer as a comment they found out the you know bars he frequented and like texting shit on the that bars facebook page about what a fraud piece of shit this guy is they so it's a viral hit job basically yeah yeah yeah and it was it was probably overkill yeah it was definitely overkill and then the uh that that journalist in the UK that I got into a beef with, they fucking went after her. And you go, I can only – this gun only has so many bullets. I can only pull the trigger. So when I get cheesed off at the fucking cable company –

You can do that, but you don't want to do that. I mean you can't trot it out. You can only do it so many times. Right. And you don't want to do that i mean you can't trot it out many times right and you don't want to have it too self-serving so yeah the atheist girl that was really nice like you're happy in the morning when and how did you did you literally like were you just watching tv and decided this is something you want to do or yeah just occurred to you like anyone else would do it yeah i was just drunk it was one of those ideas i'd normally blow off but hennigan was here and i go you drunk. It was one of those ideas I'd normally blow off, but Hennigan was here and I go, you know how to start one of those

GoFundMe pages? Let's do this quick because this won't be news for long. And of course it starts off with, I was just drunk. All the good stories start out like that. At shows, and I don't know if this has happened

so I don't know the answer to this, but have you ever had any people be weirdly stalkerish or weirdly, just weird because of who you are, not your material kind of thing? Not dangerous stalkery, but a lot of people need more than the show, and that gets wearing.

What does that mean, need more than the show? They get wearing like they what does that mean they get upset if you're not hanging out afterwards okay like them coming to the show they is the foreplay they think that you're gonna go out and do fucking crazy drugs together yeah you're gonna be really good friends right you're gonna hang and even you have people that you knew you know 15 20 years ago like hey i'm gonna be there where you want to go out or sometimes it's just a fucking job like right yeah i used to be able to go out after the show all the time but now you can't you can't go out with 40 people to a bar right and and have you ever had can you sit there and select the guy that might be fucking decent

to talk to that's not throwing up in his baseball hat because he's fucking drinking in his car before the show for six hours? Do you have... And those are always the guys that want to manipulate your time. There's probably cool people at the show, but it's the guy that has you in a headlock trying to throw rumplements down your head after the show that's going to fucking queer everyone else away.

And only you and me. We fucking drew them all the way from al tuna right right you're not even gonna hang out it's not fucking dial a date it's a comedy show it's over i try to go out with your life yeah have you had have you had people um that you knew when you were younger when you became more well-known who you lost a relationship with because you were well-known either there was jealousy or just a weird weird a weird change in the relationship because they they thought something i don't you know i don't know how often that happens but some people you know not happy or not unhappy but they don't they regard you in a different light. And I don't know.

There's people that like, don't call me back and I go, wow, how did I clear that? What did I do wrong? Maybe they just moved on with their life. Mikey Grites in Vegas. He never,

he never gets in touch anymore. I don't think I've seen him since 2002, but I don't know. People get families. They get – my life has been the same night since I was, you know, first sitting in a bar. Right. To you. I have kids.

Yeah. Right. For 24 years, I've been going out, doing shows, going to a bar afterwards, drinking, falling down, waking up, going to the next show. Right, right. And other people, fucking they have grandkids. You know? And live in trailers. President of the insurance company and the boats and stuff.

Yeah, we could kill it for a second. TheShadyDell.com That is where you stay. If you come to Bisbee and you're staying at the Shady Dell and I'm in town, I will have a beer with you. I won't hang out that long. We're not going to be good friends. I don't want you to fucking tell me you're going to kill yourself. But if you're staying at the ShadyDell.com

Vintage trailer park with all 50s, 60s trailers that we live a mile away from and we look for reasons to go stay there. Come to theshadydell.com. Sponsored by. I might even come in and clean your toilet. I don't know. You know what? Fuck this. Do a station ID.

This message was brought to you by Doritos. What? No, your name, lady. Roseanne Barr and Doritos. Crunchy corn chips, bitch! All right, we had to break for cocktails. That cocktail break was brought to you by... Fuck, I don't have a sponsor this week.

Rampant Beer. Might be a little too high-end for us. Yeah, I'll come up with a sponsor by the end. Stay tuned. Everyone's riveted. But I wanted to backtrack on a couple of things. As far as fans go, because what you call celebrity,

that's in the eye of the beholder. I think so, yeah. Yeah, very much. So if someone thinks you're that big of a shit as much as self-deprecating or low you know wherever you want to put yourself that doesn't change if someone you know you i get emails all the time that are like who do you think i am i'm just a fucking dude in a house right but if that's if you're that big to someone it doesn't matter what the fucking tabloids think.

And that's why the weirdness with Johnny Depp, they put that in perspective to me, both positive. Like, you have to know not to, A, let people in too close if they're going to get weirded out by it. Right. Yesterday, I had two fans stop by the house, and I can always tell. No one really goes down this street. And if people are walking towards my door and I see them through the fence, it's happened a handful of times now. Okay.

And if I'm in the mood, it's daytime, I'll occasionally say, okay, one drink. I don't even ask you that. I just open the door. Right. Say, all right, come in just one drink. I got shit to do.

Right. And almost every time they've been cool. Yesterday they were cool. But if you did that, you could do that to the wrong guy where he's like, I can come over all the time. And then you let them believe that it's your fault. It's a mania.

They have that you're feeding and not on purpose, but it just exists in their head. So you're just making it happen. Yeah, I don't want them sitting around thinking about Doug Stanoves and fucking return my email for a year. You don't want to be their Johnny Depp. Yeah. Right. But at the same time, you want to be polite to people. you want to be polite to people.

There's only been a couple of times anyone of celebrity's been a dick to me and only slightly, but I still fucking hold on to that hatred so much. Right, because I have... I won't watch the fucking TV show they're in, even if it's great and other people recommend it. No. Well, they're so exalted,

they have such a farther way to fall. So when they do it, it hits harder when they hit. No, I'm saying I know how much – just some annoyance to me. Like, listen, man, fucking leave me alone. I'm trying to take pictures. Like fucking one per person. When you're selling merch, there's always that guy. We've talked about this on the podcast.

Right. We're not on dial-a-date. It's a merch booth. I said, hi. Yeah. I've been polite. You keep,

there's a whole long line behind you. Right. I, you're like the scratch ticket lady at the corner store that thinks it's a fucking Indian casino. You get your scratchers, you move on. You don't scratch them right there.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So you have those. So yeah, you got to remember to be fucking polite, but that you can't help. But like,

that's why Hedberg would always ditch out after his shows. He was, we call it pulling a Hedberg where you just fucking run out the fucking fire exit in the back before the crowd can get out to the street. So you're, you're ahead of them. You're ahead of the line. Right. Cause you just can't out to the street. So you're ahead of them. You're ahead of the line. Right.

Because you just can't deal with people tonight. And he would do that all the time because he felt some obligation to do more. And it fucking killed him because he was such a nice person. Well, the other aspect of that is stand-up comedy in particular, 90% of it is writing. You're seeing 10% on the stage of what took a lot of effort. And Hemingway once said that writing is like performing without an audience. writing it's it's you know you're seeing 10 on the stage of what took a lot of effort and hemingway once said you know that writing is like performing without an audience because you're sitting you're doing it for yourself basically i mean you're trying stuff out in your life but you're not like

hey folks you know um so then when you bring that they don't see that 90 you also get to make sure it's perfect before anyone sees it unlike comedy where they're seeing the first time you do it. They're seeing the process. Yeah. Right, right. They're seeing all those crumpled up pieces of paper next to your typewriter. Yes. And reading them aloud.

Right, right. Every night. But they don't – but the people who you meet at the merch booth, they don't know all that other stuff. They don't think of it as a working class thing, which it really is. I mean, you're working. you're actually doing a job you're oh and i make it look like not work at every level i know you do yeah you totally do but but that even that takes work even that takes a persona and other kinds of things you know you don't really you don't really um you know i hear i've read articles where they describe you as being you know outrageous and all this stuff but you're not you're not a comic that is

classifiable in the sense of someone else or some type. You're just you. Yeah, it's worked out. I don't question it. At some point, it was working and I don't know that I'd ever listen to me. But you also haven't crafted a persona.

I like shit like Tim and Eric that's stupid and silly. Yeah, yeah, great. Or Flight of the Conchords or other, you know, weird shit. Yeah, yeah. But you haven't crafted a persona that you put on. What you see on stage is basically you. That's what you really think.

You're not sitting there going, well, I've got to put more of this kinds of jokes in it to be the person that people think I am or I'm not living up to my aspirations. You feel it though, especially the UK where you feel like, oh, there's going to be more social commentary and there's not. So fuck them. I'm going to have to drink more to blow through this. You're very popular in England. Yes? More so than a lot of places why i don't have any idea i think i i always boiled it down to i think they they're just generally

live a life that's as joyless as mine okay my act reflects their complete lack of joie de vivre. Okay. All right. So they don't, they. They're a miserable fucking people. So they get you on a deeper level. But you also attract, when you preach a sort of hate that I do, at least on the, you know, face value hate, even if you're not seeing that there might be a point underneath it.

Sometimes there's not. There's just hate. Right. But when you preach that, you attract that audience. Okay. You attract all the people that are on the internet that want to fuck with someone just because they hate themselves. Right.

So, yeah, if my audience turns on me, I always used to say that on the last tour of the UK that you have to remind yourself, hey, listen, don't be negative. These people are here because they want you to do well. It's what your friends will tell you or your manager will tell you. They want you to do well. Don't self-sabotage. And I said that's what it would be like in the states but i don't think that's necessarily true in the uk i think here in the uk you would be just as happy to watch me die in

flames and break down crying on stage and then you'd feel even better you'd enjoy the show more if i left here weeping right and that would get a huge round of applause of recognition uh before scares you even more before you uh you uh hung out with johnny depp you also hung out with uh marilyn manson evidently manson is the one who turned johnny i feel like this is just we're just gonna call this whole podcast uh fucking name drop central well no i don't mean it to be that but there's a there's a process involved and it was a very different celebrity experience for you and for anyone because he didn't have an entourage. He didn't have people.

Well, he had a darkened house and or apartment, depending on which time we went over there. Yeah, and that was it. Candles lit on the floor and no sunlight coming in anywhere. Right. So that was... But he's evidently, he andny are friends okay all right marilyn manson see what anytime you say just saying johnny depp feels like you're name dropping you feel

douchey about it and i know that but but i guess what i'm at is there's a whole like reverence you have to have like not talking about like i had we took pictures like in the green room and now i like if i wanted to put him up i'd have to photoshop out his kid because it's that level of fucked up paparazzi he was saying it was in some building where a fucking drone came up to the 13th floor of the building and started fucking filming him really yeah so yeah you can't like you go i'll tweet this picture no it's got his kid in it you can't right right hayley joel osmond i did fucking pickle shots and whiskey juice whiskey juice whiskey and pickle juice in multiple shots he's buying us hayley joel osmond is a name i was fucking dropping the rest of the weekend on stage yeah sorry if i look a little fucked up i was drinking whiskey and pickle juice with hayley joel osment on his tab motherfucker

drop the mic eat that yeah that's funny that was a really cool night he's a really cool guy and he fucking we hung out all night and you don't feel bad dropping hayley joel osment you don't sound like you're trying to show off yeah yeah and it was a really cool thing right i even got him to do the uh i see dead people on video pointing at me for the death pool site celebrity death pool site which he would fucking never do it's like asking me to say show me where babies feed or dynamite from jj walker but i had a reason because it's for a celebrity death pool right right and uh he's like fuck you yeah hell yeah i'll do it uh so yeah that's that that's that's a cool night and you don't feel like you're rubbing it and so just having to shut down the back room of the comedy

store like that that's a hallway goes you know it's straight to the green room right it's pretty much an open door policy for any known comedian they can go back there and that night they had some you know hulking off-duty cop just poking people in the chest going no seriously wow yeah and i want to go out and apologize to everyone but i was in the green room for two hours after the show hanging out and there's only like three people left right so yeah if you couldn't get in the green room, sorry, but now you understand, I think.

But it's also not name dropping. If it's part of, it's part of your work, it's part of your profession. It's what you do. So meeting people who happen, they, well,

the first time I was still unconvinced. He actually did want to do a show. Okay. After this. Yeah. But even, I mean, you did,

you did Louis CK show and, and that went really well, but you knew him, you knew him years ago before you were both well known, right? Yeah. Yeah. We weren't like calling each other on the phone, but comedy is a really small world where it used to be. I've grown, I don't know, fucking half the people on, you know, I look at who's playing Montreal fucking half the people I look at who's playing

Montreal and half the people I don't have any idea who they are but doing his show wasn't you weren't doing it because it was the well known comic Louis CK you were doing it because he was an acquaintance of yours oh by the way for the record

I forget to mention this Alex when I did that Louis CK and i told him i i can't act i suck at acting and alex you act uh so you're the only person in bisbee i could call when i was going over lines like all right so yeah i worked out lines with you and you gave me direction and then i finally did it via skype for louis and everything he told me to do he told me to do the other way exactly no and that was brilliant of me to set you up for that is is but the funny thing is i thought you i was i everything you told me was my honest you know that's the way i would have done it was the read yeah yeah and the uh i'll never forget you. You had told me that you had gotten shortlisted for an Emmy for that. But the way you told me was you came up to me and you said, we got shortlisted for an Emmy.

I was like, yes, we did. Look at me. So have you ever had any experiences where has there ever been anyone you wanted to work with i'm burning this joke but uh never mind well anyone you wanted to work with or anyone you want to work with no there's people i wanted to see i still i really want to see gilbert gottfried really uh yeah i wanted i i i wanted to see Carlin a little bit. But yeah, guys, Gilbert, I'm sure there's some people I'm forgetting. Gilbert's definitely one. Bill Murray would be my number one person on my bucket list of people I want to get

drunk with. Oh, yeah, we're going to save that for fucking the next one. All right, we'll save that for fucking the next one. All right. We'll save that. But yeah, Bill Murray is definitely a fucking guy. Yeah. You know what? We can do it now.

We're starting a game. We'll continue this on the next podcast. It was something we did to kill time in the van on the road was who would you rather get day drunk with? Oh. And it started with Hunter S. Thompson and Charles Bukowski. Right. Who would you rather get – and day drunk is a specific animal.

It's a type of – it's way different than night drinking. More of a grinding kind of – Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're not going to necessarily go home afterwards. It's more dirge-like. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the bar that opens at 10 in the morning yeah exactly walk in and say fuck it yeah the day's gone with bukowski on it just because he seemed like he'd be a more stayed you know plotting conversation but you're not going fucking bat shit into a, you know, racing down a mountain at 10 30 at 170 miles an hour. Well, I was, and this is one of my favorite celebrity stories. You fucking met Hunter S. Thompson.

Yeah, I did. The first time I ever did cocaine was with Hunter S. Thompson, believe it or not. And I didn't realize that till recently. Someone was talking to me about cocaine. I was like,

Oh yeah, the first, and I realized the first time was college, senior year in college. I was editing the student newspaper, school in Long Island, and we had money in the budget so I could hire him to come talk because I liked him as a writer. I really liked him as a writer. I wasn't really familiar with the whole persona, the whole drug thing, you know, beyond a certain level. So anyway, I go, we pick him up at the airport and we go to this great air

this great hotel it's the wrong hotel we go to another hotel that has exit signs written in arabic you know just totally different kind of place and uh we finally get to the gig at my college the place seats about a thousand people by the time we get there we're four hours late there's maybe a hundred people left the place professors had brought their students we were so late but they're making announcements the whole time like he's on his way there were no update yeah they were but we they didn't know where we were we so we get to the school and i had lined up all kinds of drugs for a hundred thousand like oh yeah i was but then he goes so do you have what i want he taps his nose i'm like oh shit cocaine

didn't occur to me right because he was major coke feet didn't know that so uh i scramble and i asked this friend of mine can you get me he gives me a hundred dollar bill 100 pounds he gives me a hundred dollar bill to get gets me so now i'm his drug dealer so i go and i get coke for him right and um we had we had put wild turkey in orange juice containers because we couldn't have alcohol on stage and all this weird shit, right? And we're late and I'm tired. And so he takes this $100 worth of cocaine, splits it in two lines. He does one. I do the other.

I was to my eyeballs. I just like, wow, man. Fucked out of my gourd. First time ever doing cocaine, right? That's such a good story. No, it's amazing. And I didn't plan any of this. I didn't know what was going on, you know.

And we were about to go on stage, and I think there's like a bunch of people waiting for us, which there isn't. And I started telling him the reason that I really liked him was this. He wrote this article that had a great beginning and a great ending. He wrote it as a freelancer years ago. And I told him, I really love that article. And that's really why. And he hugged me and he said, oh, you're not just here for the other shit. I was like, no, I wasn't. So we go up on stage and then I go to, I introduce him, you know, in my quavering, coke addled, wild wild turkey-soaked brain, you know? And I go to sit down, and he's like, no, no, you have to get up here. You've got to help me with these savages.

I can't deal with these people. I'm like, okay. So I get back up, and the people who stayed, the 100 people who stayed, were so cool. We were up there for three hours. All he did was Q&A. But the people who stayed were such diehards. And they knew their shit.

What year was this? This was 87 87 all right 19 and but we're talking about renquist and we're talking about you know football nixon and and all this really cool shit it was just unbelievable night and uh and by the end of it i'm like of course i feel like i've lost 50 pounds because i'm coming down off of you know whatever many grams of coke that i've done, you know. And we drive him to the airport. We drive him to New York City to drop him off at this place.

We get out of the car. He gives me another hug and he said, you did good. You did good. I was like, oh, thank God. But then we get back to the newspaper office. I'm supposed to write an article about it and we have a power outage. So I never wrote about it, never got an autograph, never even got a picture, nothing, nothing to market. It would be a story lost to the ether, right? Friends of mine got the

a hundred dollar bill sign and made photocopies of it. I still know people with that, which was awesome. And I never thought of that. I didn't, I didn't think get the guy's signature, you know, but about five years ago, this guy I barely knew in college had taken pictures during the show. And he sent me a picture of me and Hunter Thompson on stage together. Oh, that's great. Oh, no, it's amazing. I have a framed picture in my bathroom underneath my picture of Nixon and Elvis. I have a picture of me and Hunter Thompson.

And every time I've done cocaine since then has been off that picture. I have – every time I've done cocaine since then has been off that picture. So it was a wonderful experience. You should have started the podcast of this. Yeah. But it was cool because he was cool and he thought I was cool, which was – more than anything. How many times do you wish someone would die so you could tell this story? I did coke in a green room. Norton was there.

He's sober. He wasn't doing it. But with a couple of professional football players at Governors on Long Island, well-known ones, too. John Riggins, anybody? In their 1-15 season. Yeah, that's why. That's why. Hanging out at Governors doing fucking coke with the guy with the mullet.

One, he says, they came to the early show Friday and the late show. I was doing the late show. So they came backstage and said, oh, we're going to hang around for the late show if that's cool. And I said, yeah. And one guy says, you party? And I didn't know the nomenclature. Didn't pick up on that vibe. I go, yeah. And one guy says, you party? And I didn't know the nomenclature. Didn't pick up on that vibe. I go, yeah, I party.

And so he hands me a bindle, and I'm like, oh, oh, party. And the girl I was with did not approve. But I said, fuck you. I'm doing this. How often are you going to get a chance? Step it up a notch. It wasn't a fucking Hunter S. name drop by any means. No, it was fun. And the fact that it was the first time was, yeah, what a fucking Hunter S. name drop by any means. No, it was fun.

And the fact that it was the first time was, yeah, what a way to go. You know, it was a lot of fun. And my father was sort of a quasi-celebrity. And my father grew up as a child with Lee Marvin, the actor. And when my father died – You'd think he'd be tougher. I get that a lot. So, but they grew up as kids in Woodstock, New York, as a matter of fact.

And so I go on my father's phone book to call people after my father died. We didn't have internet back then. We just couldn't post something on Facebook. So I'm making all these calls and it's sad, you know, talking to people. And I get to m and it just says lee and i'm like i would never call lee marvin lee he's lee marvin you know he's like don't call fred astaire fred so i call him like oh i'm sorry wolf died he's like okay thanks you know and we have a little conversation and i get off the phone and it only occurred to me later i was like wow i

just had a conversation with fucking lee Marvin, you know, which is heroic and wonderful. I wish I had more dads. Yeah. No, a call back. No, he's just really sick. Come visit. You can help him.

Hey, Lee, I was just on my Ouija board. Guess who says hi? Wolf. Remember? Hello? Hello? Is this thing on well i also i was i was remembering uh because i interviewed rod williams and that got me thinking about um uh i had been a furniture mover in new york

from the time uh through high school and college and when john belushi died died the week after he died we moved his place in New York he had an office with his wife and we moved we go to do this job and John Belushi's dead obviously but Dan Acker was there and Judy Belushi was there and it was the most depressing place I've ever been to

almost ever and everyone was just really sad and you want to be like oh look it's dan akron oh look not not a good time to ask for an autograph shit i keep doing other comics jokes but they're old so i hope they're not still using them but nick swartzen had his fucking brilliant bit of about i only heard it second hand at the time so i'm ruining it too but he had just gotten his teeth whitened at 9 11 and he wanted to show him off so bad but there's no reason to smile so he goes yeah it's really sad what happened in new york

and then make this awkward smile show up as i'm fucking it up but yeah same kind of same kind of situation i'm sorry about your thing but you're dead yeah but hey yay i went to um remind you a story i went to uh paris in february after 9 11 because fares were really cheap the only time i i that's why we went to costa rica the first time becker called oh we're gonna get it for a song they're almost paying you it's like yeah whatever yeah, whatever. Yeah, okay, terrace win. So we fly to Paris, right? We have a great time. And I told a friend of mine, Ed Dumas from college, that I had gone to Paris.

Oh, fucking name drop. Here we go. I started it. You got to throw in the Ed Dumas. God damn, man. He's big. So then about two weeks after I get back, I get this postcard in an envelope. And it's a postcard of the World Trade Center, but it's in an envelope.

I'm like, what the hell is this? I turn it over, and it's Ed Dumas writing, wow, your trip to Paris inspired my wife and I. We're going to be tourists in New York where we live. We're going to go to the Empire State Building. Then we're going to go to Windows on the Building. We're going to go to the... And then we're going to go to Windows on the World, and it's going to be great. And it was... We're going to Windows on the World tomorrow. It was dated September 10th,

2001. I hope that's framed right underneath the Hunter S. Thompson picture. It was brilliant. It's like, that's why it was in the envelope. Got it. Okay. Alright. You got anything else on that list list or should we wrap it up? I think we're good.

Hour 10 minus everything we have to cut out. Yeah. Yeah. If this actually worked. Flying without a net. Podcasting without the podcast master, Greg Chaley, who's off in Seattle doing something on On the road, coming up, Philadelphia. This is September.

So look on my website. I don't know the dates. But next is Philly, then D.C. at the whatever, Falls Church, Virginia, the State Theater, Trocadero in Philly, Improv in San Jose after that, Trocadero in Philly. Improv in San Jose after that. Austin, a place I don't remember the name of. Red Rum or something.

I think that's actually it. Maybe. I don't know. It's on my site. It's Austin. You know. Spread the word. And then September 27th in Vegas at the Plaza, we will be doing the show Saturday night.

And all you people that I fucking shy away and can't people please enough can fucking haunt me at the sports book all day watching football on the Sunday after the show. The bus station the Greyhound station is right beside the Plaza Hotel old school downtown Vegas where all

the fucking most the miserable transient population come into town. So we still haven't figured out the prize, but whoever takes the Greyhound the longest to be at the plaza will win some kind of hug after you've been deloused. I don't know. But, yeah, that'll be a fun time where I don't have to worry

about fucking pleasing everyone in a merch booth line. I can parse it out a little at a time throughout the day while I'm losing my ass in the sportsbook and bar at the plaza. This has been the Doug Stano Podcast with me as your guest and Alex O'Meara as your host. Next week, or in

as soon as we refresh a cocktail, we'll be talking rage and hate with Chad Shank. Thanks for listening. Go to DougStanhope.com and buy something. I don't even know what I sell anymore. Thanks.

Play the Mattoid! Party time Party time Party time Drink your drinks and eat your eats It's party time Laugh your laughs and eat your eats, it's party time Smile your smiles and do your blues, it's party time Dance your dance and shoe your shoes, it's party time

Howl your howls and suck your socks, it's party time Oh baby, crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your crap, Sam, fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your crap, Sam, fuck your fuck, party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, hey! Party time, yeah! Party time!

Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time!