THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Become the Master of Your Own Destiny Feat. Sadhguru

Episode Date: September 21, 2024

In this Saturday Mashup episode, we’re joined by an extraordinary lineup of guests including Sadhguru, Robin Sharma, Allison Holker, and Humble the Poet. Together, we explore the deeper meaning behind mastering your own destiny and uncover powerful ways to shift from chasing external success to achieving inner fulfillment. From Sadhguru’s eye-opening perspective on how taking ourselves too seriously causes suffering, to Robin Sharma’s wisdom on creating perfect moments and living life with intention, this episode is packed with transformative insights. Allison Holker shares her emotional journey of overcoming loss and finding strength in gratitude, while Humble the Poet dives into the power of vulnerability and how it strengthens human connections. You’ll hear me talk about the critical importance of aligning your inner experience with your outer actions, and how this shift can redefine what success means in your life. We discuss the impact of focusing on personal growth, the illusion of material success, and how you can start creating a life that reflects true happiness from within. Whether you’re striving for success or searching for deeper meaning in life, this episode will inspire you to take charge of your destiny by mastering your mindset and embracing life’s most important lessons. Key Takeaways: - Mastering internal vs. external success: Sadhguru reveals why true mastery comes from within, not from external achievements. - Creating perfect moments: Robin Sharma shares practical strategies for creating unforgettable experiences and cherishing life’s simple joys. - Resilience through gratitude: Allison Holker’s story teaches the power of gratitude in overcoming life’s toughest challenges. - Vulnerability as a strength: Humble the Poet discusses how embracing vulnerability leads to deeper connections and personal growth. Tune in to this episode and take the first steps towards mastering your destiny, one intentional choice at a time! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Rushard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward slash ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top

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So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed. You know what makes a leader? It's more than just taking charge. It's about leading by example and embracing every challenge with determination. For those who live with passion and purpose, there's the Range Rover Sport.

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but they're getting noisier and noisier and noisier and a lot of things that used to come with the hotel rooms like room service and other benefits like that, they just don't do it anymore or not like they used to. So my last couple of trips I told my team, let's just stay at an Airbnb. We stayed at an Airbnb and I'll probably never go back again. It was the coolest experience ever. Privacy, luxurious, the space was great, all of it. I loved it. And then when I'm there, I was like, wait a minute, I have a home that simply sits a lot. I could be generating revenue on these places. I wonder how this works. So when

I looked into it, I'm like, I'm gonna Airbnb my place. So now I'm only staying at Airbnbs when I travel, but other people are staying at my house as well when I'm gone. It's awesome. I'm generating revenue when I'm not there. So hey, I'm telling you, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much more at airbnb.ca. This is the Ed Mylett Show. Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylette Show on Apple and Spotify.

Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today is special because I just think I have a special being that I get to share my time with. So Sudguru is my guest today. Most of you probably know who he is, but yogis a mystic he's a visionary I just feel like he's an enlightened beautiful human but Sadhguru thank you for being here today. Namaskaram thank you very much Ed. This is wonderful so

you said something that's impacted my life which is that you know a lot of suffering has to do that maybe we just take ourselves a little bit too seriously in the scope of the world. And so could you elaborate that on that thought and share that with us? Because I think everybody to some degree probably causes suffering for themselves for this reason. See, in this cosmos of which we do not know the beginning or the end,, this solar system is a tiny speck. If that speck tomorrow disappears, nobody will notice it. No alien lives are going to keep account, oh, planet Earth and rest disappeared. It just vanishes, it doesn't leave anything, no disturbance. In this tiny speck of a solar system, planet

Earth is a micro speck. In that micro speck, California is a super micro speck. In that, you are a big man. This is a tragedy of humanity. So how big a man I am simply depends on how small my vision is. Wow. I was… I was… wow. You and me are just pop-ups on this planet. You know, like in the computer screen a pop-up comes and vanishes because they paid only for two seconds advertisement. So just like that we are a pop-up and we'll pop out. Before you and me came, countless number of people who thought they were smart, they thought

they are kings, they are emperors, all kinds of idiots have walked this planet. Where are they right now? They are all top soil. You're so right. And this also will be top soil. Unless some friends fear that you may raise from the dead and they bury you real deep. Yeah, that for me was a life changer

because even the way I'll be sure with you, just a gift you gave me, I think about that often. And even when I pray now, I find myself, I get on my knees. People say, why do you pray when you're on your knees? It just reminds me of how small I am. And just these little gifts you've given me, it doesn't mean as a human, I don't struggle with going back to these ego driven things, but I find my most blissful by the way.

In Indian temples, I must tell you, in the Indian temples when they pray, they go into a posture called ashtang. That means they go flat on the ground like this, like entire body on the floor. Because this is a way of expressing in front. You know, when you're thinking of that which is a source of creation, creation itself you're not able to figure. The source of creation obviously you've not figured anything about it. You are like a worm, you must crawl. No, I... that's... Guys, I hope...

I don't know if you're listening to this right now or watching it, but I hope that there's this part of you that's pulled over almost and you're writing and contemplating this. This is one of those conversations that you're going to listen to multiple times and this source of creation thing Say you say something. I had a had a good friend of mine on a few weeks ago named Erwin McManus He's a pastor of a very large church And I thought I wonder if the messages will be very different because I knew you were coming on they weren't And one of the things that he discussed in great detail is that we are creators

And one of the things that he discussed in great detail is that we are creators. That there's a creator, but we are also creators. And you talk about, it surprised me a little bit that a pastor felt that way. And then as he backed it up with different scriptures that he believes, and it's really a beautiful conversation. And you talk a little bit about this as it relates to karma and destiny as well, that destiny isn't necessarily something that's predictated that's gonna happen anyway, but that we have a role in creating it as well. And the way you say it, I've never heard before.

So can you enlighten us about that? Because I think everybody struggles. Do I rely just exclusively on my prayer or on emptying my mind if I meditate or whatever my faith is? What's my role in creating my destiny? Sadhguru- See, we are misunderstanding destiny as a physical situation. It is not the physical situation which determines the nature of your life or the quality of

your life. You can be sitting on a rock and be blissed out. You can be sitting in the most comfortable palace, but be miserable. So, destiny is not in terms of physical arrangements we make. Unfortunately, in the world today, particularly in America, this has gotten out of hand. People think their physical arrangements are more important than their experience of life. Because they did not focus on this, because they focused too much on physical arrangements, now the only way you can cause experience to yourself is through chemicals

or alcohol or something else. Because they're trying to earn the experience chemically, because physical situations will mock at you after some time. You live in a palace and you don't even know how to sit in ease. You have the best sofa to sit on, but you cannot sit in ease. Now the only way you will seek inner well-being is through chemi… chemicals and abuse of other things because you are trying to create an experience. But you must understand, human destiny is not in the arrangement of physical things

or material things around us. Human destiny is in the way we are experiencing life right now. How profound and fantastic is my experience this moment is the important thing. Right now, what kind of arrangement I have around me? All I have is two cameras and wires and wires. And there are some wonderful people, of course. I'm saying it is not the atmosphere, it is not the arrangement, it is the way you are. If you do not fix this destiny for yourself,

if it is one hundred percent in your hands, what arrangements we are in right now may not be one hundred percent in your hands. Like some of you know, unfortunately, some very important people in India, very rich and very successful people lost their lives in the last few weeks. Well, the arrangement that you have around you is no more the palatial building that you live in, it's only the hospital with pipes and tubes and, you know, wires and whatever else, which is the same thing everybody gets. Maybe doctors paid little more attention to you, but it doesn't matter, it didn't help, I'm saying.

So, I'm not saying this in any mocking way. All I'm saying is, right from an early age, we must realize, we must tell our children, the future generations must know, the quality of life is determined by how I am, not what is around me, not the expensive car, not the home, not the clothes. It doesn't matter. See, all the richest people in America today wearing all torn clothes. This is all desperate ways to experience something. These are all desperate ways to somehow… But right now, we have structured a society where our idea of well-being is being little better than somebody else. This is being inculcated into us from our

kindergarten school that you must be number one. See, if I have to be number one, where should you be? Maybe number ten. Who… Where should others be? Maybe in number seven billion, all right? So, my whole idea of well-being is that everybody should do worse than me. This is sickness. This is not well-being. This is not joy. This is not blissfulness. This is sickness that I enjoy that you are not doing well or as well as me at least. Dr. Justin Marchegiani How do you balance that with wanting to do well? In other words, one of the things that's amazing about you, and I think that's why people like myself connect with you so deeply from the, not equating us, but you know,

if you do research on this beautiful man, you know, Will Smith, there's other of these, what I would call achievers, are really, we gravitate to you. And there's a part, I'm sure you've been asked this before that. I say sometimes, well, some of those things about my desire to grow or expand have served me. Is there a place where we meet where we understand what to separate from outcome that getting this house or this jet or this plane is not going to deliver me this bliss that I want. But at the same time, I guess is it is it the concept of just wanting to grow that's the healthy part of it so that we do expand in our

life to some extent. You understand what I'm saying. There's this balance between letting it come to us and not seeking it in the at the expense of another person, but at the same time of wanting to grow and explore and contribute and in the… and even achieve more. How do you feel about that nuance where those two things meet? Sadhguru Let me tell you this. This incident happened probably when I was nine, maybe a max ten, I'm not sure, nine or ten years of age. Well, I came home, you know, normally, well, in those days, I think still it's in practice,

in school every month they will give you a report card, which you should take it home and get your father or mother sign it. So in my house, it was fixed that my mother will not sign it because she is too gentle, she may just sign it. So my father is a person who must see it and sign it because he is critical enough to look at things. So one day I handed over my report card and went about my business. He opened it after some time and he saw I... my rank was thirty-three, I was thirty-third rank. So my father asked, how many children are there in your class? I said, thirty-three. Then he said,

are you not ashamed? I said, I got the highest number. Thirty-three I thought is the highest number in my mathematical calculation. The guy who gets only one must be a very poor guy, I got fifty-three, all right? Tell me would you like one million or thirty-three million? So I'm saying this whole idea, you want to be better than somebody is a sick idea that is instituted into our education systems, into our social structures everywhere. So about how can we do well? See, for this you don't have to go to any scripture, guru, philosophy, nothing. You just have to observe life.

Right now, there is an olive tree here, there is a apple tree there. Is olive tree thinking, can my olives be bigger than the apple? No, it is only striving very hard to be the best possible olive tree, isn't it? None of the other lives, whether from ant to elephant is trying to be something other than who they are. Human beings have this problem. Why this problem has come is just this. See, for every other creature, nature has drawn two lines within which they live and die. For them in their life, ninety percent of their lives are fixed by nature.

Maybe for individual creature, there is a ten percent latitude. I'm saying these numbers off the cuff, okay? This is not like some scientific numbers. But for a human being, only 10% is fixed, 90% is full latitude as to what they can do with themselves. Or in other words, for human beings, nature has taken away the top line. You could be anything you wish to be. Or in a way, I would say even the bottom line because many people… many human beings make themselves worse than beasts and brutes around because there is no beast and brute as far as I can see. Because I have been in wildlife, I have been in wild situations, I never found any animal, a tiger or a lion or an elephant or a bison, ever behaving irrationally, ever behaving in such a way simply wanting to cause damage to somebody.

I've never seen one animal like that. I've spent so much time in wildlife. So it is a very wrong analogy to say that if somebody is behaving in a terrible way, you say you're a beast, you're a brute, these are all wrong words. You say you are behaving like a man. Because it's only human beings who are exhibiting these qualities. These qualities human beings are exhibiting simply because they're not able to handle their freedom. They are not suffering their bondage, they're handle… they're suffering their freedom. If nature had put two lines for them also, like every

other creature, they would be fine, they didn't have to pray, they didn't have to meditate, they didn't have to do anything, they would just live within those two lines, live, you know, be born, grow up, reproduce, die one day. Essentially, this is all generation after generation is doing. They imagine all kinds of things Essentially, this is all generation after generation is doing. They imagine all kinds of things, but this is all they're doing. But the human possibility is, we are not doing something very different from other animals. We're doing the same things. Only thing is, we can do it consciously. This greatly enhances the profoundness of our experience. This greatly enhances the impactfulness of our experience. This greatly enhances the impactfulness of our activity.

We are not doing anything other than what an ant is doing. It is born just like us, it grows up, it lives its traffic lanes are better controlled than ours, you know? Nobody is over speeding, nothing happening, they're all in perfect order and they will reproduce and they'll die one day. This is all a human being also is doing. But we are imagining all kinds of things and every one of these things we do it with great amount of fuss.

Just see growing up how much fuss… Tell me one thing that human beings are seeing as not a problem. If you're a toddler, you have a diaper problem. You are a teenager, you have a hormonal problem. You are middle-aged, life is a crisis. Your old age is horrendous. Tell me one thing that human beings are not suffering. Everything, life and death, they suffer.

This is simply because we evolved to a place where our experience of life is left in our hands by nature. This is the credit we have gained by evolution, millions of years of natural process through which we have arrived at this place where in termed evolutionary terms we are on top of the world. But human beings are not feeling top of the world because they are not experiencing life. They're only experiencing their own thoughts, emotions, ideas, prejudices, philosophies and belief systems, which they think is reality. No, these are things you make up in your head. You make up these things and you believe this is reality. When you think make-believe is real, if you don't suffer, how? You must suffer. You will suffer. If you

think the mirror is actually a doorway, will you walk into it or not and knock your head? That's all that's happening. Dr. Tim Cyphers We don't have to believe our own thoughts, do we? Sadhguru Oh, you made it up. You should know that you made it up. Make it up in a way that it works. You said, my gosh, I almost feel like you live with me. Let me tell you a joke.

Can I tell you a joke, Ed? Please, please. It happened on a certain day. A lady went to sleep. In her sleep, she saw a hunk of a man like you and he was just staring at her. Then he started coming closer, closer and closer. He came so close, she could even feel his breath and she trembled, not in fear. And then she asked, what will you do to me? The man said,

well lady, it's your dream. What's happening in your head is your dream. Right now people's problem is not that life is not happening the way they want it. Even their dream is not happening the way they want it. That's their problem. And part of that dream, oh my gosh, it's almost like, by the way, you knew what I wanted to ask you next too, because we've talked about this thing that, well, I want to get these things for bliss. The other, I feel like, epidemic, I know you know this, is I need this other person to feel peace or bliss. There's this feeling that I'm missing a person in my life that if I had this relationship, if this other person loved me this much, if I could share this experience with this other person,

I'm going to delay my bliss until that happens. It's not always just stuff, wouldn't you agree? It's also this, I know we need one another, I know there's energy between humans, but there's also sometimes an unhealthy false belief that you need another person before you could have permission for these beautiful emotions. True? See, first of all, you must look at this carefully. Because essentially, what people are saying by making these statements is that creation

has made a mistake. Is this life a complete life or is this half a life? You make up your mind. If this is a complete life, it should be fine by itself and then it will interact with many things out of its joy. Now, this is what I said in the very beginning, ease your life in pursuit of happiness or ease your life and expression of your joy. Now, this is what I said in the very beginning, ease your life in pursuit of happiness or ease your life and expression of your joy. That's the thing. As long as there is fear of suffering in you, you will never walk full stride in your life. Always what is it that

holds back people? What will happen to me? What will happen to me means what? Will I suffer? Will I die? These are the only two things, right? What else is there? What will happen to me? What will happen to me means simply this – will I suffer? Will I die? This is all there is. There is no other thing that you fear. You're suffering and you're dead. So right now, if you make yourself in such a way, no matter what happens, this is how I am. I am blissful by my own nature. Wherever you send me, this is how I am.

Once it's like this, now there is no fear of suffering. Once there is no fear of suffering, you will walk full stride for the first time in your life. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Oh my gosh, that's so awesome. And as I walk that full stride, I'm talking to myself whispering, by the way, just so you know. No, you're trying to motivate yourself, inspire yourself. No, no, no, you need to liberate yourself.

Do you in that liberation? It's interesting. If you come to a conclusion as to why we are here, so I think this great answer of life is that, that, you know, that there's this, the contemplation of death helps us realize that that is an inevitability. Has anyone ever asked you that before? Like, why are we here?

You're essentially asking why life? Yes, yes. See, such a question comes to you only in some way when life has become burdensome. Everything may be good. Good will become terribly burdensome after some time. All the good things in life will become very burdensome over a period of time. When life becomes burdensome, you ask this question, why life? See the moment you ask why, I have to tell you a story.

Okay? Shall I? Dr. Jayaprakash Narayanan Please. Sadhguru One day God had nothing to do. He was playing marbles. One marble shot up like this and became planet earth. And then shall I continue? Dr. Jayaprakash Narayanan Yes, please.

Sadhguru Laughs. This is a ridiculous story. Of course, the moment I say it, you will reject it, but I could tell you a more elaborate believable story. That is what the danger is. When I tell you a stupid story, you can easily reject it. If I tell you a more complex story that is believable, that's when the danger happens, that you move from reality to belief systems, that your belief, what you do in your head becomes more real than

the creation itself. The moment you're… what is happening in your mind becomes more real than the creation, this is called madness. This may go off in many other names, this may go off as society, this may go off as a football club, this may go off as religion, this may go off as philosophy, but essentially it is madness because you have made your psychological reality larger than the creation itself.

This is madness. This madness may be selling well in the world right now. So I have to tell you, I've been watching this lady's work for years, like watching her dance and on TV, and I always thought how talented she was. But lately I've watched her shift into a space. She's actually probably been thrown into a space

that most people are never prepared for, but I've watched her rise with such grace and I really believe she was called for this moment. You've seen her on So You Think You Can Dance. She's a host, a judge this year on the show. You also probably know that you know she's had some tragic things happen in the last few years with DJ Twitch who she's married to, Steven, and we're just gonna talk today about her journey, her experiences, what she's learned. And I don't know if there's anybody on the planet

more qualified to have this discussion today than you. So Allison Holker, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. You've already been someone that is so inspiring to talk with, so it's already an enjoyable moment. Thank you. Everyone to some degree is going through something. You're going through a pain, grief, a breakup, a trauma,

unfortunate experiences. Everyone's experienced something. And no one's is more important or less important. Who are you gonna be after? What are you gonna choose to be? What are you gonna choose to do with it? What do you choose to encourage your life further and move into a different path for yourself?

And even going back a little bit to what you said is something I've been working on the last couple months is who am I now? And I think I'm a better human. I think I am a lot more conscious in just what existing is. And I am more grateful every single day. I didn't go the opposite way. I went more, I've always had a lot of gratitude for life,

but now it's different. I'm so grateful for the chance to wake up every single morning and make choices. And I'm also grateful to experience really awful, terrible things. Because how am I gonna get through this? I can get through this, I can choose a different life, I can make a lesson of it,

and I can encourage other people to not do this, I can encourage people to live this way, and I just choose to, I don't know. It's such a complex question for me, it's a lot of things, but I also don't have the exact answer. I'm gonna give you a weird one. This is one like, people are gonna go,

this is a bizarre thing to say, but if you actually think about it, I might be right. Some of the most difficult things I've gone through in my life, and I've not had to gone through what you've gone through, so I don't want to equate those at all. In some weird way one of the ancillary gifts God's given me through them is some of the pressures off me now. Mmm. And what I mean by that is like, you're so successful in your career. But I'll bet before this that the success in that career probably meant a little more to you than it does now.

It almost like takes the pressure off. You kind of start to understand, there's an end to this for all of us. It's gonna be okay either way. And in some weird way, even when my dad passed away, he lived a full life, but it's straight, one of the tiny gifts was some of the pressure was off me.

Like, I watched this man I love, like, his career mattered, but at the end, like, how much did it matter? Do you know what I'm saying? In some odd way, it's almost like, I'm just running up the score. I get to run up the score, either way I win, I'm alive. Does that make any sense at all? It takes some pressure off in odd ways

I actually do I maybe even an answer kind of like what I've been feeling without being able to articulate it But it is it's more of like whatever I'm doing daily whatever I'm doing with my kids whenever I'm doing with my career None of it really matters to me except. What's the energy and vibration to bring to it? Yeah, what what are people gonna walk away after they've meet like meet me? You know cuz it's like you might not remember my words, you might not remember the cool dance I did or what I said on this cool TV show. What is the feeling I gave you?

Did I help your life? Did I encourage you? So it's more of like the vibration I'm sending to people that I worry about now. Yeah, I can tell you, you're changing and saving lives today. That's no exaggeration. You're literally changing and saving lives and it's abundantly obvious to me

that in some way one of the gifts of this is that you were chosen for this moment. It's impossible not to be true. The way you articulate, the depth of what you say, what you feel when you say it, this is clearly a human being, a beautiful human being who has been chosen for this moment and this calling. And it's odd because even whatever I've been chosen for in my life, me? Really? Why me? I'm all

screwed up. I'm the last person. But I'm telling you, in your case, it's really, really obvious. What about your faith? Has it changed? You and I, can I say who your pastor is? Yeah, of course. Your pastor is one of my great friends, Earl McManus. Has it changed your faith, your view? Because for a lot of people they might go through this, they're like, they doubt God. Mm-hmm. I've been going to the Mosaic Church for years. You know, there was like during 2020 obviously that kind of like pivoted me off a little bit just because we couldn't go. So I got a little bit off of the habit of going like on a regular

basis to the actual church and I've been so grateful to really find myself back there again. He was one of the first people I called to talk to. I knew I needed him. He's just such an incredible spirit with such encouraging words and honesty too. And he'll go there with you into depths and ask the right questions and help you navigate this space from a really healthy, healing manner. And I go all the time now, I stay really good in touch with them because I do need them. I don't think before I was willing to admit that.

Like when I started going back to church, it was just like, oh, I enjoy being here. It's a great energy, you know? And like, oh, I'm going with my friends. Now I'm willing to admit that, no, I need this energy in my life. It's necessary for my health. And I think just being a person that's always so independent and always doing all the right

things and doing my cold plunge and doing my like, so out of time, like, oh, I've got my life together. I think being willing to say, no, I need this. This helps my soul. This puts me in the right place was a hard thing for me to admit. So that's the difference with my faith now is I need it Oh my gosh, you're so awesome Alright couple more things this flew by maybe faster than anyone that I've done

We've talked I want unpack forget. Let's step out of the grief world for a second Yeah, we've talked a lot you brought energy up a few times one of my favorite topics because I am a Christian I'm a person of faith, but I also cannot deny the topics because I am a Christian, I'm a person of faith, but I also cannot deny the frequency thing that you've and I discussed. Like truth vibrates at the highest frequency, hope, dreams, vision, encouragement vibrates high, discouragement, hate, lack of tolerance vibrates real low, and you can feel it. Someone who dances, you bring in energy, you feel something when someone dances, right? And I'm conscious of that too. What am I making somebody feel? It's amazing to me how many human beings go through life and they don't understand you're always making people feel something

And being intentional about that matter So just discuss like it could be from a dance perspective how much you think energy I think us not being conscious of our own energy reserves the energy we put out the, the energy we feel, the energy our environment brings to us. Just energy in general is like life fuel. Right? What would you say about that? I believe in high vibration. I believe that people that are disciplined in their life

create a lot of self-care, self-love, self-compassion. And those people that are disciplined in their spiritual health, their mental health, their physical health, I just feel like they vibrate differently because they're confident. And they know themselves so well, and they know what they can bring to the table that they're able to now give to other people.

You know, it's a different kind of thing, because if you're someone that doesn't know yourself, and you don't have discipline, and you're not making the right choices, you're not gonna be able to help someone else in that journey to become a better version of themselves. You have to be the better version of who you are and really help everyone around you after that

by not even having to do anything, but just vibrating higher, knowing who you are, knowing what you love, disciplining yourself every day, making the right choices, whatever your choices are, because everyone's choices are different. You walk into a room with a different kind of energy that just affects everyone. And not from like an ego place of like,

oh, I wanna be like them, they're so cool. Like, oh, I wanna feel that way. What are they doing? And then if you're someone that they actually, you know, are willing to ask, you can say, oh, well, you know, I do this, that, or the other. And for me, it's like, I've always been a very disciplined person,

I'm a very organized, task-oriented person. And I think that that, in my past, in that discipline, is what has really made me get to where I'm at today. Because even through this grief, I've never lost out on my disciplines. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I work out every day. I get in my sauna, I do the cold plunge.

I am active in like my organization. My home is clean. I clean up after. Those things, and maybe those aren't the same things that make other people feel like they have self-love. But for me, not losing out on those things keeps me going every day. And it shows me like, okay, I did the hard thing today.

I did things that most people will never do. And I made that choice. And I think when I walk into a room, I already the hard thing today I did things that most people will never do and I made that choice and I think when I walk into a room I already know for myself. It's not about me being cool for people for myself I know I can show up Yeah Because I know I deserve to be where I'm at because I've worked really hard to be where I'm at but not necessarily just the cool Career. Mm-hmm. I've been working on myself Yes

Yeah and I think those people just have a different vibration about them because it's a different kind of confidence because you know, you know you're doing the work and you can believe in yourself and I can rely on myself. I don't rely on other people and I think you feel that from people. I don't rely, I'm not a, you know what it is, is almost like, oh, this sounds terrible a little bit, but almost like energy vultures.

People that need to take from your energy. But then there's the other people like, no, I can give you energy because I've worked on it. You know, I wanna be one of those people. I wanna be one of those people that walks in the room and I've done so much work for myself, but also can keep self for myself, but I can give back to everyone.

I think you are. I think you are that person. You know, one thing to check everyone that was listening, I was thinking about what you were saying, for you parents, it's easy to slough that off. Hey, I'm an energy giver, I'm not an energy taker. But then evaluate every area of your life. You said something earlier in the interview

where Twitch would come home and go, hey, just give me a moment, I'm gonna be alone. One of the things I evaluated later, and it really bothers me to this day is, I didn't always bring that energy to my home. Meaning I gave so much out into the world, right? Do you relate to this? Like so much out into the world

that when I got there, I was almost like, okay, I'm here to rest and recalibrate. Forgetting my daughter and my son needed that. My wife needed it, my mom, my sisters, they needed that energy from me. And that was the place I showed up as loving and caring and joyous, but I didn't show up with the energy at home

Because I was so depleted. That's why what you said earlier meant so much to me I was so depleted and it wasn't until I don't know if my daughter said something one time like daddy You're so with everybody else what you're tired. I'm like wow Like I don't bring it here like I should and I made that change you look like you wanted to say something about that Yeah, I know that hearing that I I don't think I'd ever I made that change you look like you wanted to say something about that. Yeah, I know that Hearing that I I don't think I'd ever thought about that for the same case with Steven Yeah, so I just I related with what you just said. Yeah, that's why I related so much with what you had said earlier Because it's like in every area but where because it was when I came through the door. That's where I would recharge and it was when I came through the door, that's where I would recharge.

And if I could go back, I would be more conscious of what they were feeling energetically as well. I was like, so hugged my daughter and loved my son, but it wasn't the same as some stranger on the street. I'm pouring into them, hey, how you doing? Da, da, da, and then I come home, I'm like, hey guys. You know, it wasn't the same. Give dad a minute, I'm gonna recharge for a second.

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I get a chance to share time with someone who's had a deep impact on my life. You know, I feel so close to this man yet we've only been in person together once. It's the most interesting relationship and connection I'd also call him just kind brilliant and someone that I admire because He's he has started to live life on his own terms and that takes a lot of courage When you're as successful as he is and so Robin Sharma welcome back brother. It's so good to have you my brother Ed you are such a kind soul yourself and I honor you for inspiring the lives of millions of people. It's amazing to see you.

I have so many things I want to ask you about because I've had some health challenges my audience knows this last little while and one of the tremendous blessings of it is a heightened awareness of your mortality, heightened awareness of how blessed you are to be here today. And it causes me anyway to be a much more present person, much more inquisitive. It's brought me actually more peace. And one of the things in the book, I find myself when I read some of your stuff like I'm talking about it, right? And so, I was actually talking to my attorney of all people about

one of the things you just said. Because of your mortality, you know, sometimes life can end up being a collection of beautiful moments. At the end of our life, I think we're going to reflect on some of the most beautiful moments of our life. And you just referenced it a minute ago, but I mean, this is going to be awesome everybody. But you, in the book, talk about how to become a perfect moment creator. And it is some of the best work I've ever read in personal development in my life. So let's give them that gift. Well, you are that's that's great praise and generosity coming from you. So

you know a lot of people I've mentored billionaires for over 15 years have been in been in the field 31 years, and a lot of these people are cash rich and they're life poor. And some of the most valuable, if not the most valuable things in life have very little to do with things. I was blessed a few weeks ago, I had a dinner with my 86 year old father Ed and my mother and we just sat there and we told stories and we laughed and it almost brings tears to my eyes, but that is worth more than a large stock portfolio and all the gold on the planet. But our society has enculturated us and hypnotized us and mesmerized us into hustle and grind towards a mountaintop of financial success. And as you know, there's a whole that's one of the eight forms of wealth in the wealth money camp. But the point about being a perfect moment creator comes from a true story.

Eugene O'Kelly was the global CEO of KPMG, the accounting behemoth. And one day he went into his doctor's office waiting for the results of a routine medical and the doctor returned with an expression you never want to see on your doctor's face when you're waiting for the results of a routine medical. Long story short, the doctor said, you've got 90 days left to live. You have inoperable brain cancer. And sadly, he passed away roughly 90 days after that. But what he realized is in all his years as a corporate titan, he had never taken the time

to take his wife to lunch. All his years as a global mogul, he had missed Christmas concerts. And in all his years as a financial master, he had never taken long walks in Central Park with his best friends. And so what he decided to do is use the strategy and the tools that made him so successful in business and he applied them to his last 90 days, which I think was gorgeous, brilliant, and very wise. And so he reversed engineered his last 90 days.

That was his quest. Let me reverse the last 90 days of my life to make them the greatest 90 days I've ever had. And part of that was I want to be a perfect moment creator and create these magical, unforgettable, priceless moments with the people who matter most. And that simple idea caused me to take my kids swimming with the dolphins in Mauritius. It caused me to take them to the Mona Lisa at the Louvre, where they were like, daddy, it's such a small painting. I can't believe it. And if we could only in the midst of our busy days,

look for ways to create magical and perfect moments, we would start filling our days with the wealth money can't buy. Yeah. So profound. So true. So, hey guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend, Brennan Bruchard, who's created the greatest personal development system that has ever been designed called Growth Day. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday from

myself and other influencers. There's an opportunity for you to get courses that would cost thousands of dollars completely for free. It's incredible. Go to growthday.com forward slash ed and check it out. You and I are blessed to know a lot of people with a lot of money. And you say, you call it in the book, you actually call it like the Howard Hughes complex almost.

And you make two points in the book. I just let you talk about it a little further. I always wanna dig a little deeper on this because I'm gonna ask you about you. But you say in the book, why does our culture worship a billionaire and not a school teacher? That's a quote right out of the book. And I started to think about that like in my family, you know, I'm not a billionaire but I've become very wealthy and I have a sister who's a school teacher. But I just think to myself, culturally, most people would probably want to hear more of what I have to say yet

I don't know on that perfect moment thing whether or not she's had a few more than her brother and If life is a measurement of those perfect moments, I think she may be wealthier than me And so I don't want to move past this point hustle and grind is great Everybody building wealth and being poor is no fun. And so, getting your family financially independent is an admirable goal. But to get there with none of these moments because I think most people think, don't you Robin, if I get all this money, I can create more of the moments because those moments cost money. But the truth is most of those moments don't cost money. So, just tell them the how I went on and on there because it's so deeply affects me. But talk about the Howard Hughes principle

a little bit there where everyone through an empty house syndrome. Well, one of one of the chapters, so I want to just give some context. The book is based on eight forms of wealth and the fifth form of wealth is money and there's 25 chapters deconstructing exactly how the billionaires do it. So I don't think either of us are saying that money is not important, which food on the table allows you to have amazing experiences, allows you to do great things for your loved ones, it allows you to be of service to people in need. So it is one of the forms of wealth, but there are other seven other

forms of wealth. And you're right, I think you hit the nail on the head which is you hear someone introducing someone and they say wow we have an amazing person in the house today they have just had a liquidity event and exited for a billion dollars you don't often say here whoa we have an amazing host on today he's a ski instructor that helps little kids fall in love with nature. You don't hear people saying, ladies and gentlemen, we have a Titan in the room today. We have a gardener from down the street who doesn't have a lot of financial wealth. But they love their roses and they keep our community beautiful. wealth but they love their roses and they keep our community beautiful. Wow.

You don't see on the front page of a magazine, here's who we should pedestal today. It's the firefighter or the police officer who risked their lives to protect our loved ones. And so, I'm not saying we don't celebrate the billionaire. You and I both know the grit, the wisdom, the suffering, the sacrifice, the discipline, the service, et cetera, et cetera, that is required to get to a very high place financially. That's why I think it's important to celebrate the value of creators.

We celebrate the entrepreneurs. These are the people who take, these are in part the heroes. What I'm also trying to say in the wealth money camp I is may we not forget the gardener, the barista, the taxi driver and the other heroes who are living rich lives. One of the richest people I've ever met

was my ski instructor. When I was in my forties I had this idea to become a level one ski instructor so I hired this person to do it and I think he was one of the richest people I've ever met. He had rosy cheeks, we had the best conversations, he would read great literature, he had a wife who adored him, family who cherished him and he spent his days in the mountains and he said to me one day going up on the chairlift he said, Robin, our ski instructors aren't rich but we have rich lives. So good. I have a friend here, Robin. I moved to Florida. He's become a friend and he retired in his uh, I think it was his early 60s and uh, he always says QTR Ed, QTR, QTR

and I finally asked him what is it? He said quality time remaining and he said that to me because I turned 50 and I've had a couple health issues and he's like man, do you remember you know, quality time remaining and I told him, I said brother, I wish someone said that to me when I was 20. It didn't need to wait till I was 50. At 20 years old, you ought to be thinking about how much quality time remaining do you have? To your point about mortality, you know, how many more Mondays do you have? How many more Septembers do you get? How many more summers do you have? And to make those quality time. And by the way, we both, I'm wealthy, you've become successful. People that get wealthy create opportunity

for other people as well. So, it's a form of wealth that you can share. So share So believe me financial wealth is awesome, but I don't want to get there without the quality moments Okay, this is for you and I now a lot of you may not know this about Robin, but Robin Robin does very very well, but in my estimation financially Robin could even do better if he decided to pursue that And one of the things I admire about you. I said early on, I want you to really dig into this brother, is that you live life on your terms. And so, Robin bought an Italian farmhouse and just kind of said, this is where I'm going to go do with my life, I'm going to go have an adventure which we'll talk about in a minute. But I want to know how you made that decision. Like at some point, because you could have kept, you still go but you

could have made another, that probably cost you a couple million dollars a year I would figure from the pace you could have been on, the things you could have been doing. So, you chose purposely to some extent to live it on your terms at one point, almost like that was my dream but I've reevaluated it and my dream is still to serve but I also want these other things. Can you just talk about that decision that you made? And am I right about that? I mean, it had to be a hard decision. It's what I'm evaluating right now. Like, when do I determine that I need to pivot on my dream a little bit and identify what

feels good now? Go ahead. I would say joy is your GPS. I would say your instinct is so much more powerful than your intellect. Intellect says, let me do all these things to succeed in the world. Here's what's logical. Your instinct is your wisdom. Your instinct will say, and it's time to do this.

And so for me, I'd lived in a certain city for over 30 years. And I do believe that the discomfort of growth is always less dangerous than the illusion of safety. Maybe I should mention that again, because I think it might be important for all of us. The discomfort of growth is always less dangerous than the illusion of safety. And so I had a really nice setup, Ed. And yet one day about three years ago, my life partner, Elle and I, packed up our little Chihuahua Yorkie

and we hopped on a plane with three suitcases, sold my house, sold a lot of my things, and moved into, showed up to the Rome airport by the way and lost our luggage and yet we moved into this old farmhouse totally new culture in Tuscany didn't know the language and I just think life is about an adventure it's one of the it's the seventh form of wealth I talk about in the book like if you lost the sparkle in your eyes, if you lost, don't ever lose that childlike heart. I mean, I think find worldly success without a joyful heart is fool's gold.

And so we left everything because I think growth is important. I think an adventure is important. And to your point about mortality, I have a metric which is if I'm lucky and I do biohacking and I try to take care of myself, et cetera, I'm very healthy. But if I'm lucky, I'll live 25 more years. So I have this decision matrix and I call it my 25 summer question. And so before I make a decision, I say, you know, I have 25 summers left is this really very

important and I also you know I've been in this field for a long time and more than ever I realized that elite performance without deep renewal is an empty victory and so I think I think you know we are at your right we are in a hustle and grind world and I think it's, there's a lot of pressure, write a lot of books, do a lot of content, build a lot of businesses. Well, I think it's better to be a minimalist versus a maximalist. And I would rather build one Sistine Chapel ceiling or writes one catcher in the rye or create one moonlight sonata that stands the test of time versus hustle and grinding every day for the rest of my life and I guess what I'm suggesting is time off is necessary to

do your best work and it also allows you to enjoy the fruits of your labor. So good you actually called this you make another suggestion the book and by the way I know when we're listening or watching, you can say, well, I wish I had the financial luxury to sell a house and move to Tuscany. I get that. But what, what version of that could be yours? What adventure could you go on that doesn't require money? That does require a bold decision. Maybe that adventure is to actually start a business you've always thought about

starting. Maybe it's to write that book or that song or paint that painting or whatever it is. So, your version of the adventure because I think we become very routine, I think we become very habitual and we're just, we're gonna get around to making moments and memories. And I think folks, use today's conversation between Robin and I as a catalyst for you to make the decision that you're gonna go on an adventure of some type and just decide you're gonna do that. Were you gonna say something there Robin because I wanted to ask you about that. I'm happy to say something about it. There's one chapter towards

the end of the book called Go Ghost for a Year that's- that's where I was going. You just read my mind. Go Ghost for a Year. Tell them about it. That's where I was going. Yeah, go ghost for a year. I mean, it's your life and life is short and don't live it on someone else's terms. And it is stunning how powerful every human being is and the fears you do not face become your limits. And so go ghost for a Year is just a concept which is, take one year and go dark. Leave your phone at home, metaphorically speaking. And if you've always wanted to go to Japan or Medellin or Sweden or Mumbai or Goa, take one year of your life

and go take the classics and go to that place and learn to meditate and take the classics and go to that place and learn to meditate and read the beautiful literature and listen to music so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes and watch the sunsets just like I watched last night and pray and journal and get to know who you want to be and reverse engineer like Eugenio Kelly, the last 75 years of your life. And then come back into the world from the wilderness, born anew, powerful and intimate with your gifts and your talents and your values and what you want

to stand for and be a force of nature. And if you can't do it for a year, we all understand. We all have responsibilities. Then do it for six months. If you can't do it for six months, do it for a quarter. Can't do it for a quarter, do it for a year, we all understand. We all have responsibilities. Then do it for six months. If you can't do it for six months, do it for a quarter. Can't do it for a quarter, do it for a month. And if you can't do it for a month, do it for a week or even a day. But going ghost on a consistent basis is incredibly powerful for becoming the person that you've always wanted to be. Unbelievably true.

And everyone, I want you to hear that back the last part. Maybe it can't be here. Maybe it's a weekend. Right? Maybe it's a day. Or maybe you start doing it in little increments, but you've got a goal to five years from now, go ghost free-er. I have to tell you, because of some of the health stuff I've been through, I'm sort of in the middle of that ghost year. I'm not posting on social media, doing my podcast kind of virtually now, I'm not traveling speaking quite as much and I have found myself again already a month and a half into it. Now, but I feel like in my case, I've sort of sticked my toe in it. I think I need to do it. I think

I need a year where I just recalibrate and rest and really do very little. At 53, I'm 53 this Saturday, I've worked basically every day of my life for the most part, most every day. There were those exceptions. There's a vacation here or there, but not that many. And so, I love this suggestion everybody and I think it's something that you should take very, very seriously. I saw this quick video this week that these are not my words, but they made an impact on me and I wanted to share the words in this video

with you because they were so compelling for me and I think it'll be a gift for you as well. And then I would give you some takeaways that I took from these words. So here we go. I asked God, why are you taking me through troubled waters? He replied, because your enemies can't swim. I asked, why do I always feel like I'm failing and struggling? He answered, because your growth and accomplishments come from facing challenges and overcoming difficulties. Every failure is a stepping stone to success. I asked God again, why do I sometimes feel like life is filled with pain and helplessness?

He responded, because in your weakest moments, I am by your side. I use your pain to shape your character and your helplessness to showcase my power. Continuing, I inquired, why do I have to experience disappointment and setbacks? He replied, because in disappointment, why do I have to experience disappointment and setbacks? He replied, because in disappointment, you learn to trust. In setbacks, you learn to persevere. I am with you every step of the way, guiding you towards victory. Finally, I asked, why do I always feel confused and lost?

He answered, because you overlook my plan for your life. When you focus on me, I will smooth your path and provide you with clear direction. Trust me, everything is within my control. This had a big impact on me, a profound impact, because I think oftentimes we do wonder why certain things happen in our life. And I think perspective is everything. When I talk to people that are a little bit older than me, I'm always blown away by the perspective that they have. I recall when Max was about six years old, every weekend on Saturdays,

I would take Max down to the car wash and we would get my car washed. And it was back in the days where there really wasn't a lot of internet at the time. So there was a man there that we would see every Saturday, an older man, and he was reading his newspaper. And I think he sat there for hours, frankly. I was wondering like this guy's car took a long time to get washed. I think he would just come down there and read his paper and maybe his car was, it was maybe it was being detailed or he just let them work on it while he sat there. And so he would always, we always say hello and he was a nice man.

And, but I could tell that he wasn't happy. I could tell there was something unsettled in his spirit. And I watched him several times. He looks sad to me. And I took notice of it. You ever just feel someone's energy? And I remember several times seeing this man feeling some kind of

sympathy for him. And I'll never forget this because he one Sunday he goes, so how old is Max? And I said, he's six years old. And he gave me great advice. He said, well, enjoy the six year old because when he turned seven, that six year old is gone forever. And if you're a parent, you know, that's true. That six year old really does go forever. And if you're a parent, you know that's true. That six-year-old really does go away and there's a brand new person at seven. And he goes, in fact, enjoy the seven-year-old

because once he turns eight, that seven-year-old's gone forever. They become a whole new person and remake themselves. And you know what? And enjoy him when he's 16 because when he turned 17, that 16-year-old teenager's a completely different person. They just, they keep changing and growing. And I didn't even mean it in a mean way, but I remember I turned to him and I said, sir, when did that process stop for you? And he put the paper down. He

said, again, I said, when did you stop remaking yourself every year? And he sat back and he went, I don't know. I guess maybe, maybe my early mid-20s. I said, you should evaluate that. I said, one of the things I'm most obsessed with in my life is that The 33 year old me will be gone forever when I turn 34 replaced with a whole new better growing version of me and I hope someday when I'm 40 that when I turn 41 the 40 year old is gone forever Just like the six-year-old Eddie Milet. There was a new version of them and improved

No, obviously you take parts of you into your future, but there's a new and improved version every year I'm remaking myself, you know You can look into your body your lung tissue your digestive tract even your bones are remaking themselves on a very regular basis It's part of nature to be reborn and remade But so many people lack the perspective in their life And that lack of perspective causes them to not grow anymore. There's this great quote that I used to throw around

all the time that said, most men die in their early twenties, we just don't get around to burying them until they're in their seventies. Too many people right now are not remaking themselves and wondering why they're not happy. This requires growth, this requires perspective. And I think that quote that I read you earlier about God,

whatever your version of God is in your life, however you look at that, everyone knows how I look at it, but however you look at that, that it changes your perspective and that the things that happen in your life take on a different meaning. See, everything in life is what does something mean to us? If you can change the meaning of something, you can change everything in your life. But once we stop growing and changing,

it all starts to feed the same meaning. They would say, well, you keep telling the same story to yourself. That's a big thing in personal change your story, and you should change your story. But in order to change the story, you have to change what you believe things mean. And so that's why the questions that that person was asking that God was answering changes the meaning of when things happen. So I'm a big believer that you are supposed to be replacing yourself. So if you're 28 years old and you're listening to this today, one of your ambitions ought to be to take all the great things with you into your 29th year, but to grow and improve

so that 28 year old's gone forever and there's a new better version of you at 29. If you're 40 years old listening to this today, that by the time you're growing all year long, that by the time you turn 41, that 40 year old's gone forever. Just like the six year old you was gone forever when you turned seven. Just like when you turned eight, the seven year old was gone forever. Just like when the 16-year-old turned 17, the 16-year-old was gone forever. If you look back at your life, you've changed and grown quite a bit, haven't you? But at what pace, at what percentage, how much, right?

And to what perspective do you need to accelerate this? So as you guys know, about two years ago, I started on this journey to learning Spanish and I've gotten pretty good. I was just on a trip to Mexico and got quite a few compliments on my Spanish game. And the reason I've got pretty good is Babbel. So for you in 2024, maybe getting a little bit better every day would be great for you, especially at learning a second language or a third or fourth or fifth.

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And how do you change your meaning? So I'm going to give you three keys today to shifting perspective, to shifting perspective. Number one, with that quote I gave you in the beginning illustrates. Number one is ask a better question, have a better life. The quality of your life is really comprised of the quality of the questions you ask yourself because the quality of the questions creates the quality of your thoughts. Quality of your thoughts defines the meaning. So if you can begin to ask better questions in life, you can have a better life. But what you're doing

right now, the reason you're not growing if you're not or you're not growing at the rate you could is because you're not looking to ask a better question. See, the powerful thought of that whole thing I read to you is that it was powerful questions with better answers. So it was a pretty average question with an extraordinary answer from God. And when you begin to ask the right questions, I believe you begin to get the right answers. Your life is really a pattern of regular questions you're asking yourself. All this data that tells us 80 to 90% of our thoughts

are the same every day and that most of them are negative. Why? Because 80 to 90% of the questions you ask yourself are just autopilot. Why am I this way? Why aren't I happier? Why am I more successful? What are they thinking about me?

What are they gonna think? What are people gonna say? You add the same questions all the time you're asking yourself and so your perspective doesn't change That's why I love talking to people that are at later stages in life because You just see a piece about them and a wisdom about them that's come with time because they've had more perspective change in their life that's why I think listening to podcasts and Hopefully mine at the top of the list reading books and talking to people that are successful or happy can give you perspective. You want to do something that's unbelievably productive in your life, go spend an afternoon

at a retirement home or a nursing home and talk to those folks about their perspective on life. You really want to have a lot of change in your life. Get with a great coach and ask them quality questions. Get with people that have the information and the person with the most information wins. And by the way, for me, the source with the most information, that's why I read this to you, is God. And so when I pray, I ask questions and I find the higher caliber, higher quality,

better, newer question, I'd elicit a better answer. So number one is ask a better question, have a better life. Number two, shift your perspective and you shift your life. I have this great story that I was once told and it's not my story, but Mother Teresa, I'll give you two of them. For most of us, if we saw, if we were with something, someone who passed away or we saw a car accident, let's say, and we rushed to the scene of that accident and we had someone in our arms that passed away, you and I would probably, our perspective would be, my gosh,

I just witnessed a tragedy in my life and that's okay. That's reasonable conclusion that you had witnessed this tragedy. I think it was Tony Robbins she would witness this tragedy. I think it was Tony Robbins that told me this story. And he said, actually, mother Teresa said that the greatest honor of her life was to be present with a person when their soul leaves their body and goes to heaven. So can you imagine the exact same event? You and I would sit there and say, this is tragic. This is horrible. Mother Teresa would say this was the greatest honor of her life to be there,

to watch this soul leave its body and go to heaven. Same exact event, different perspective, different meaning, different emotion, different quality of life. You following me? Perspective creates meaning, meaning creates emotion. And the quality of our life is the quality of our emotions. We have a completely different life. Mother Teresa in an event like that is such an unbelievable, it's an extreme example,

but it's illustrative of everything is perspective and meaning. It's not the events of our life that define us, it's the meaning we take from these events. Let me say that to you again. It's not the events of our life that define us, it's the meaning we take away from those events. If you wanna change your life, you can go back and begin to look at what meanings you've taken. Ask yourself, what would I need to believe about that event so that it would serve me?

Not what do I believe? What would I need to believe so that it would serve me? I could have, you know, there's all this data about children that grow up in alcoholic households. It's fascinating. Usually they're one way or the other. Either become extremely successful achievers or they repeat the patterns of their parent.

Why is it that two children can go up in the exact same house with the exact same parents and have two totally different lives? Most of you are nodding. Probably when I say this, you're thinking of your own family or somebody, you know, same two parents, same environment, same house, same upbringing, same information, two totally different lives. Why is that?

Perspective and meaning. One person took away a different meaning from the exact same events and the other one took away meanings that didn't serve them, made them shrink, made them negative, made them bitter, made them lose their confidence and the other person didn't. What I learned from watching those events happen in my life is I learned what I didn't want to do. I learned when my dad got sober that people can change their life. I took those meanings away. So, everything in your life is the meaning you take away from the event. And by the way, the meaning you attach to your work. There's this great story

I'll tell you secondly. I believe it was JFK and he was visiting Cape Canaveral and He's walking through Cape Canaveral this is back in the days where they're you know, they're gonna launch and and go into space and attempt to go to the moon as I understand the story at the time and He walks by this man who's got a mop and a bucket and He stops and asks this man and says what is it that you're doing here? Now what would been reasonable for that man to say? Oh, sir. I'm cleaning the floor. I'm making this place spotless Etc, etc. Do you know what this man replied to him the man with the mop and and the bucket?

President Kennedy says to him. So what are you doing here? And this man says, I'm helping put a man on the moon, sir. I'm helping put a man on the moon. He had a completely different perspective about his work. He took a different meaning away from his work than what the average and ordinary person would do. It's not even what we do, it's the meaning we take from it. And then the third thing that I would recommend to you is to learn to reconnect with your center, to get centered in your life. I'm talking about this a lot more. And so to do things that give

you perspective is to reconnect with center. We lose perspective when there's chaos around us. We lose perspective when we're just repeating the same thoughts and the same questions and the same emotions over and over again. So in order to change that, one, you gotta ask a better question, two, you've gotta shift your perspective and your meaning, and third is reconnect to your center. So what are the things you could be doing

to reconnect to your center? For me, my center is my faith. And so I focus on my prayer life. In fact, I'm reading a prayer right now. I probably as well just pull it up on my phone. I wasn't gonna do this, but I'm reading a prayer currently that. I probably as well just pull it up on my phone. I wasn't gonna do this, but I'm reading a prayer currently that I think I should share with you guys.

So here we go. Father, here I am before your throne with a heavy heart and an anxious mind. Come Lord and fill me with your holy presence. Let me rest and be at peace. Let me feel your protection. Let me feel as if I'm under the shadow of your wings, safe, hidden and secure in you.

Only you can give it and take it all. I pray Father, please take my fear away and give me your peace that surpasses all understanding. You know that my life is in your hands. My trust and my hope is on you alone, Father. Thank you in the name of Jesus. Amen. Just a prayer I've been reading myself. I give myself different prayers from time to time that just change my perspective

So for me, by the way, whatever your faith is, I also meditate. I love vibrational frequency I love to center myself. And so whatever your practices are get back to those practices Care for your body a little bit more for me I've learned that my center almost always has to do with my faith and my body That when I'm connected to my body, this, what we would consider to be a temple when I care for it a little bit better. So these things may seem very simple to you, but reconnect. If you're meditating, really refocus on it. If you've got prayer life,

really refocus on it. For me, it's strange, but the more I do little things where I'm connected to my body, cold plunging, sauna. Here's a random one for you lately. I just love to stretch. Just stretching and some yoga has really helped me reconnect to my center. Something I've never done before. I'm a bigger guy. I always thought I'll get around to stretch and I'll get around to yoga. Well, this year, last 12 months, I've made it a pretty big priority. It helps me reconnect. It's just I'm present with my body. I also love to do earthing and grounding where I walk around with my bare feet on the earth. I try to get in the grass or on the beach if I can and just reconnect to that. For some reason, that helps

me connect with my center. And then lastly, just one of my formulas is I love to be around water. And so when I had an apartment and couldn't live near the ocean, I always had like a fountain in my house where I could hear running water. Something that some of you may relate to this, just somehow being around running water centers me, calms me, whether it's a lake or an ocean, even a pool, a fountain,

something that is water centered for me helps me reconnect to my center. And those just part of my form is, I think it's to know oneself, right? And so I love to work out and lift heavy and all that stuff, but boy, I'll really tell you something. I found out stretching and yoga, my prayer life, my meditation, my earthing and grounding,

these are not things that five or eight years ago, you probably would have heard me talk a lot about, but they've helped me change my perspective. What today was all about was sharing with you a perspective shift on life and getting you to consider is one of the things I need to do of all the things that's talked about in personal development, self-help, self-improvement, entrepreneurship. What about my perspective? How is my perspective impacting my thoughts? How are those thoughts impacting my behavior, the decisions I make, the emotions I have? And if I can shift my perspective,

I can tell you that I think you can shift your life. And so, go back in the beginning of this video or audio and listen to that exchange that this person has with God, that you could have with your God. And then ask yourself a better question. Shift your perspective and shift your life and reconnect with your center. And I think you're going to find a formula and a recipe that may have change come find you as opposed to you having to always go chase change. You can actually become somebody where change helps find you, where you magnetize and gravitate to yourself because of this incredible perspective you've had.

And the last thing I want for you is to be a man or woman who in their 20s or 30s really dies, but doesn't get buried until they're in their 70s, 80s, 90s or beyond. That's not what you want to be. You want to be that person who every year that new birth date, that new time is replacing the former you, taking the best of the best from the previous person, fixing the things that aren't so good and growing and improving into that new year, just like the six-year-old did, just like the seven-year-old did, just like the 16-year-old did, so should the 40-year-old, so should the 25-year-old, so should the 65-year-old. And I believe those are the key things to creating change in your life. All right. I hope today helped you, everybody. It certainly helped me.

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my let show on apple and Spotify links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. I have somebody here who's trying to sell a book. He's not sold any in his life. Only only over 500 million books sold. You talk about the goat of personal development, author, speaker, incredible. And then as I've got to know Crystal a little bit,

she's a life coach. She's incredible. And this book they wrote together, and the book is called Ask the Bridge from your Dreams to your Destiny. And so Mark Victor Hansen and his beautiful wife, Crystal join me today. Welcome you guys to the show. We are excited to be with you.

And for those of you only listening, you guys have strong this guy. So sometime you got to watch him on video. My gosh. I'm curious about asking for what you want. I said there's seven roadblocks. I want everyone to read the book. So we're not going to go through all seven, certainly.

But we've talked a little bit about the childhood conditioning piece of it. That's certainly my jam, for sure. That's the one that keeps showing up for me. But what would one more be that somebody should be evaluating? And we'll keep the other five for people to go get the book. But what is another one of these roadblocks?

Well, let's just talk about what you were just talking about, that childhood curiosity. But the next one is naivete. And we don't know what we don't know. And we tell the story in the book, Ed, about this lovely Filipina woman who came to work when our children were little. You know, the kids are 16 months apart

and she'd make all these amazing dishes from her homeland. And one day she shows up and cuts this fruit on a plate and she goes, her try this. And I bit into this juicy orange fruit and I go, Melda, what is this? This is the most amazing fruit I've ever tasted. And she goes, it's a mango. And I go, mango? How come I've never tasted a mango?

That's bizarre. I've traveled all over Europe. How did I miss the mangoes? But you know, I realized, I'm like, I'm a girl from Idaho, grew up with a lot of potatoes, but no mangoes. And it made me start to think, I really pondered that. Like, what else am I missing in my life

besides the greatest root in the world, just because I don't even know it's available to me. I go Mel, where'd you get these? Did you import them from the Philippines? She goes, no, I just they're at the grocery store. And I thought I'm walking by this every day. What else am I walking past? What person am I walking past? Not even noticed, not even curious, because I just don't know. I'm naive, right? I might be walking past the greatest advocate I've ever had, the best friend I might have, or some opportunity I'm not aware of because of that naivety. And I think we're all

naive in some way. And that is one of our roadblocks to asking, we need to look around where we need to rekindle that childlike curiosity and wonder, wonder about that person you're walking past, wonder about that company, that opportunity, that thing that you haven't even stopped inquire about. That's part of the magic of life, where life starts to unfold for you when you start to go back into that wonder. And I think if you read the fable of Michaela, the book starts, right? Unbelievable. So that's one of the places that Michaela, she starts to wonder because she's so shut down in her life.

And I won't get too deep into it unless you want to talk about it. Well, I want them to read the book, but it's it to me, it's that that's the brilliance of the book. It's the beginning. It's we should talk about it a little bit. Share a little bit of that story, but I want them to get it to me. There's a brilliance of the way this book is written. Everybody that's so enjoyable to read because you do get this sort of story in the beginning, then it's weaved together with the points. And when you're reading it, I love reading something and I say, that's true. That's true. That's me. I know that. And it's just, there's these validations of things when you read the book.

So let's talk a little bit about it. You, you, You go into that a little bit as far as you want to go because I do want them to get the book too, right? So yeah, no, no, and it's good. I mean, so the fable of Mikhail and Mark and I wanted to use a fable because we love stories. Stories are so relatable and our brain thinks in patterns. So when we can share a story that's relatable, we learn so quickly. Human beings can learn so quickly from stories. So we started, I took a lot of times and passed the writing back and forth and I started writing this and honestly, it was like, it had a life of its own. And I just took off, I had so much joy writing this.

I feel like I was downloading it. The whole story, all the characters came. And I've been fortunate enough in my life to have these amazing dreams that have guided me, very spiritual dreams. So I kind of modified my own dreams a little bit and Michaela has these dreams, right? But completely different story, of course, of course. But just to let the listeners know, Michaela starts off, she's lost everything in her life. Basically, she's lost her mother, her father, her home's been taken away by the

bill of collector, she's sleeping in a grove of trees. And her job every day as an indentured servant at a stone quarry is to lift heavy rocks from one place to another. And I think that's how a lot of people feel in this life right now is that their entire life is just feels like moving heavy rocks from one place to another. And they've lost hope. And that's where Michaela was. So this story is really every woman and every man's story. But Michaela falls into an exhausted sleep and the being comes to her and he takes her on this journey. And I'm not gonna tell everything, but the gist of it is he tells her, he shows her some really beautiful things

and he admonishes her to asking and never stop asking. And that's the key. And so when she wakes up, she knows already something has shifted because that's what happens to each of us. When we have those moments, those spiritual little epiphanies, we can shift everything in a moment,

absolutely everything, just with a little awareness. And so that's what happens. So she starts little by little, Michaela's life starts shifting. She starts paying attention to the words, the dreams. And by the end of Michaela's story, she is a completely different person than she was when she started.

And that is what can happen to every single person listening. We all have that in us. We all have the essence of God inside of us. We all have every possibility and potential inside of us. And so that story flowed up out of me from somewhere to really remind people, I think, of what is inside of each one of them and each one of you who's listening and to really start to ask the questions that will reveal your next step to you. Yeah I gotta tell you that the the Michaela could have been an entire book. Yeah and one of

the things I took from it's weird you know sometimes art is writing to me is art so there's teaching this book teaches you a lot of things but I think when something's great it can mean different things to different people based on their life stage. And so for me, it's interesting. My takeaway was, I can tell when you were writing it wasn't necessarily for this purpose, but for me it was. And that was that my life started to change when I realized that the quality of the questions I was asking myself was directly correlated to the quality of my emotions and my life. And that I was also conditioned as a child

to ask a certain sort of questions and take certain sorts of meanings away from events in my life and Those questions were on repeat. So everyone listening to this or watching it you're already asking some questions But to take it to be aware as you just said crystal to take an inventory and start to ask a different question Literally changes your life and then as your one new relationship, one new question, one new breakthrough, potentially one new emotion away from a totally different life. But if you run the same pattern of questions, you're asking yourself all the time, you're going to take the same meetings away, have the same emotions and have the same life. It's just a pattern. So Mark, could you speak to that?

Cause you talked a little bit about conditioning in the brain. We can go that direction or not, but what about just being intentional about the caliber and quality of the questions you're asking yourself, not just other people? First of all, I love the way this seminar and or zoom calls going, but feels like a seminar It's that when you're doing a good one. In my mind, so One of the seven roadblocks is pattern paralysis. And my teachers, teacher in graduate school, my teachers, Dr. Arbuk, Minister Fuller,

Jay Das, and Don Staus, and them inventions, 15 doctors at Albert, but his teacher was Albert Einstein. Albert said, look, if you keep doing the same thing and expect something new in German, it's your cuckoo, meaning you're crazy. Well, that's exactly what you just said. So what you've done with question only,

God gave us this ability to question everything. It changes your path, it changes your life force. And what you said, I'm gonna morph it just a little bit because some people out there are hanging out by their fingernails because of the COVID confinement cocoon and say, the kind of question you asked determines where your prosperity, your wealth, your riches is going to be.

1974 when I tried to be Bucky Fuller and I can't be a good Bucky, I can be a good Markie, I can't be a good Bucky. So I boom bankrupt. I check a book at the library, how to go bankrupt by yourself because I asked what if I go bankrupt? Subconscious doesn't get a dang what question you ask, but it magnifies it back to your side, the quantity of the question, quality of the question. But now I said, well, how do I get rich? How do I get successful? How do I get prosperous? How do I be a person of influence? Because Solomon's most important line, and he was a really important guy, but Psalm 72, be an influencer of influencers, which is what your show's all about, Ed. And your influence is growing, which is what it's meant to it. You're meant to multiply, you're meant to expand. I mean, you've taken taken a 98 pound weakling and turned him into a superstar strong guy but that's what

you've done with your mind and your soul and your being. I hope you don't mind my teasing. No, no I appreciate it very much. Thank you. I think it's important guys, when I'm listening to the show back like in my mind because it does feel like a seminar to me like kind of a master class, the more I'm thinking about it, the more I want to stamp this, I want'm listening to the show back, like in my mind, cause it does feel like a seminar to me, like, like kind of a masterclass. The more I'm thinking about it, the more I want to stamp this. I want you to get the book. I don't say this on the show very often guys. This one, you know, I have authors on, I don't normally say it this firmly because I'm, I'm so convinced that we're even oftentimes oblivious to the questions.

Like, for example, what question am I asking myself that causes me the fear to walk up to the hostess at the restaurant somewhere in there, there's this question of what is she going to think about me? Right? Is she going to is that bizarre? Like I'm paying for a meal. She might even know who I am when I walk up there, you know, it's but yet I still have these questions. And if you're evaluating, I've been through everything. I've listened to every show, I'm still not making a move in my life. It's probably the questions. It's the lack of questions you're willing to ask other people and it's the questions that don't serve you that you're asking yourself everybody. So I really want to stamp this because even in my own mind, this is a unique yet profound truth perspective about how to change the direction of your life. It's not something most people are talking about right now and I think the

timing is perfect for all of you coming out of what we've just come out of for example. What are the questions you need to be asking yourself and that's what I want to go to next so I'm going to throw it out there. If I'm trying to pivot so I'm at a point I'm listening to the show for whatever reason I'm just not where I want to be physically spiritually maybe I'm not in just not where I want to be physically, spiritually. Maybe I'm not in the relationship that I want. I'm working for somebody, but I want to be an entrepreneur. Where do I begin on these questions? What would you recommend my starting point be in terms of asking questions? Right. It's such a great question. And everybody wants to know like,

what questions do I ask? We've given a ton of questions in the book, you know, holding up the mirror questions, self-intervention questions. So it's all about the question. You can reveal so much about yourself. You can reveal everything about yourself and your life. Crystal, I didn't interrupt you. Can you give them, I just want you to keep going. Could you give them the holding up the mirror question, just because to me, that's one of them that stood out for me. Just that's one, please. Okay, so when you're having this emotional feeling like you were just about anything, say you're in a relationship, you know, and you think, oh, gosh, he's doing this to me because, you know, he doesn't love me enough or blah, blah, blah, all these things, start

to look, hold up the mirror, what am I feeling right now? You know, in this moment, is the information that you know, I feel like he hates me. Well, is that information true? Right? Right. So you're questioning, you're basically looking at every single thing you're feeling and experiencing and holding up in the mirror, holding up the mirror and saying, what is it about this that is causing me to feel this way? Does it have any truth? Am I, is, am I responding in a way that is just programming from my old experiences? What are those experiences that seem similar to this that I'm probably tagging on to this experience right now? I promise you, every single problem that couples have is usually

that baggage from the past that we never get into, right? And so I love to tell people, so the ask yourself part, Ed, is that reflective journey. Okay, and there are really three critical phases of that. The first critical phase is where am I right now? Like whatever it is, whether you're dealing with your relationships, your career, even your health and fitness. It's that moment of truth, where am I right now, because you can't figure out

where to go until you really start to question yourself and start to understand where you are right now really and truly, how are you feeling? Are you happy with this thing you're doing? Does it feel right? Does this this career that you're doing feel like it's in alignment with you or this relationship, whatever it is, when you start to ask, where am I right now with this, a whole bunch of questions will open up to you, sub questions.

The second sort of critical phase is, where do I want to be? And it's striking to me as a transformational approach, how few people spend time with themselves asking these questions. Where do I really want to be in my life? What do I really want? And we're afraid to ask the question big enough. So Mark and I always say, ask the question from the greatest place in your imagination, from the nth degree of your greatest imagination. Just

don't ask how to get through the next day, but ask, where do I really want to be in my ultimate state of life? Say in my career, and then imagine your greatest career, and then start asking the questions backwards. In this greatest career of my imagination, who am I talking to every day? What am I, how am I serving? What products, what services? How are people responding to what I'm bringing? What does that feel like? Who are my top clients? And in that way, you can literally start to engineer your perfect life backwards, but you have to take the time in the questions in the asking of those questions. And then the third

critical phase of that is, you know, what specific action steps do I need to take to move that forward? Because so often, you know, and we say get your asking journal, write down everything because you will get illuminations, you'll get solutions, you'll get ideas, plans will start to form. You need to write them down and keep asking your way forward. You need to pick up the phone and call that person that came to mind, right? Because this is all feedback from the universe, from God's perfectly divine universe. It's funny because we looked at a lot of studies when we were doing this book and when you ask yourself a question, a different part of your brain lights up and it's part of your

brain that does critical thinking. So suddenly you're asking yourself a question, your own brain becomes a better resource to you. But so few people get stuck in the problem and never ask their way out of it. They just see the problem and regurgitate it and regurgitate it. You're so right. I just, I'm sitting there thinking of all the applications for this wisdom that's in the book and that you guys teach. I'm thinking about it not even as an individual. If I were leading a company right now and we're in a rut, we're not moving,

you said from a big place, perhaps your job as a leader in that company is to ask a bigger and better question to your leadership. What's the different question you need to be asking them? You wanna change the direction of your company, maybe you need to ask a different question of the leadership in your company, a bigger bolder question,

because they've been in this pattern of the old one. Or maybe if you wanna change your family dynamic, there's a question your family's asking. You're just not conscious of it. So what's the bigger question that transforms your family into a magnifying? If you're leading a church, what's the bigger question? Well, let's talk about love today. Let's talk about a little love. I'm so excited for today. So many people knew that this man was coming on and They're like ask him this ask him that ask him this. I'll try to get the questions in for you guys All right, but I got a lot of my own too. He's got a book out called how to be loved duh

both individually and the plural simple truths for going easier on yourself embracing imperfection and Loving your way to a better life man, do I need to know more about this. So Humble the Poet, welcome brother. Thank you so much for having me. The first chapter of the book is love is a path, not a destination. Yeah. Yeah.

What the heck does that mean? I think so often we think that there's like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And we don't realize that the pot of gold is the rainbow. You know, it's not about, cause we watch movies and there's always a happily ever after. And we don't know that the pot of gold is the rainbow. You know, it's not about, because we watch movies and there's always a happily ever after. And we don't know what the day after they're happily ever after is.

But our lives move in cycles. We have, you know, maybe not in LA, but we have four seasons and things move circular. And I think it's just really important to understand that it's not about what the work gets you, it's who you become doing all this work, who you become on this journey. And again, different cultures believe in different things,

but this idea that there's something at the end waiting for us really has us always not appreciating where we are. So it's really about climbing a mountain, not worrying about getting to the top and enjoying the view every step of the way. Yeah, that sounds good, but man, even me in my life,

I've struggled with that. Like, I've struggled with enjoying right now, because I'm looking so forward to the next thing that I've got. And you, when you meet you, like, there's a tranquility, that's a word that I would use to describe you, a tranquility about you. And I that I would use to describe you, a tranquility about you. And I think like the topic of love itself,

Louis and I were just talking. And one of the things that we both acknowledged about ourselves is the work we're doing on allowing ourselves to feel loved. I'm pretty good at giving love, but receiving it. And your work's profound because it explores the loving relationships with other people and the one you have with yourself.

How do you think the one you have with yourself affects the one you have with other people? I think the one that we have with ourselves is the only one. And our relationships with everybody else and every other thing is just a mirror of that relationship. You know, like as you're talking about this challenge to receive love, I think a lot of us, especially men, were kind of subtly signaled to put up these walls

to protect ourselves. Not realizing that these walls were prisons. You know, and we were blocking a lot of love and the pathways of love to realize love. It wasn't coming in because these walls were preventing us from being vulnerable. Vulnerability is the number one thing. You need to create a connection.

For me and you to become closer and closer friends is going to require us to get more and more vulnerable with each other. Louis mentioning us going to Poland, we suffered together and we got closer. Had we gone to an all-inclusive resort trip to Hawaii, we wouldn't have bonded the same way. You know, we bonded off of sharing our fears, sharing our insecurities, sharing tears together on that trip. And we put up so many walls because we're afraid of being exposed. We're afraid of that.

And again, it's not zero and a hundred. You don't have to go and start sharing your deepest, darkest secrets with somebody. What I learned was, have two vulnerable stories in your pocket that you can share with a complete stranger that would not scare them away. Give me an example of that. So one of mine is my relationship with my puppy. So I had a German Shepherd for 11 years.

He lived out his life and we had to make the decision to put him to sleep because his hips gave away so he couldn't walk. And after that, I never wanted to own a dog again, you know, to watch your child, you know, pass away in your arms. It broke my heart. So I would just be everybody else's backseat dog owner

without having one myself until somebody, you know, during the pandemic said, hey, somebody had ordered this puppy through a breeder and they thought it was going to turn out red or brown and it came out black. They don't want it. Do you want this puppy? And I was like, dog racism, that's so weird. But also I plan on moving to this. I lived in Toronto in Canada and I was like, I'm moving to the States. I can't have a puppy. You know, a few shots of tequila later. I was like, I need the puppy. You know, I need the puppy. Give me the puppy. And even then, after I signed up for the puppy,

I still had to wait. The puppy was just born that day. I had to still wait two months. And I got this beautiful puppy, and she took the plane ride over here with me, and she's been living her beautiful girl LA life, and it's been amazing. And during the pandemic,

you drop your dog off at the vet at the front door. They don't let you in. That's right. And we're the groomer, same thing. Everything, yeah. And then, you know, as everything subsided, I went to a vet in Studio City and I went inside and I saw the metal table

and I instantly had an emotional reaction because I hadn't seen that since I put my previous dog to sleep. And I didn't realize how much it would emotionally, you know, get me jarring. So that is, you know, and so it helps me realize how much of an emotional journey I've had owning animals and also realizing that if everything works out

the way it's supposed to, I will always outlive them. You know, because even with this new puppy, she's a smaller breed, but that's still a max 15 years. So that's an example of me being vulnerable. And I can tell that to a stranger without being worried that it's gonna scare them away. No, it actually already makes me feel more connected to you and like you more too.

And it also gives you an opportunity to be vulnerable with me. That's exactly right. And I think that's the thing we all learn, whether we pay attention to or not, is when we're authentically vulnerable with other people, they generally don't judge us, and they see that as an opportunity

for them to feel safe enough to be vulnerable with us. And I think that's the important part. Bro, I love you, because I have to tell you something. I love you too, man. I'm not great at a lot of things. I'm really not. That is something I'm pretty darn good at, is being vulnerable, especially as I've gotten older.

And I have found that that's been the pathway in my life to having other people open up to me and to connect me with them. Whereas I used to have the prison you described, whereas I just need to let you know how great I am, how perfect I am, and not show any of those weaknesses or vulnerabilities or anything actually even real. Mm.

This is The Ed Myron Show.