THE ED MYLETT SHOW - How to Harness the Power of One More to Transform Your Life

Episode Date: January 25, 2025

How Your Greatest Challenges Can Shape Your Legacy What if the very messes you’ve faced in life—your mistakes, setbacks, and darkest moments—are actually your greatest qualifications to create impact and help others? In this episode, I reflect on this transformative idea with stories from some incredible guests: Jon Gordon, Jamie Kern Lima, Ryan Hawk, and Lewis Howes. Together, we explore what it truly means to harness the “power of one more” and use it to transform not only your life but the lives of those around you. I share intimate stories about my father’s journey from addiction to becoming a quiet force of redemption for others. Jon opens up about being an imperfect parent and finding forgiveness in change. Jamie dives into how staying connected to your dreams fuels creativity, and Ryan and Lewis reveal how intention and belief shape real leadership. These conversations remind us that leadership isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up fully, embracing your story, and helping others see the greatness in themselves. You’ll leave this episode with not just inspiration but actionable tools to live with deeper intention, break free from limiting beliefs, and understand how the ripple effect of your actions could create a legacy you’d be proud of. Key Takeaways: - Why your most difficult experiences might be your greatest tools for impact. - The “power of one more” mindset: how it creates momentum and transforms lives. - How to operate from imagination and dreams rather than memory and history. - The essence of leadership: crafting a vision big enough for others to find their dreams within it. - The importance of forgiving yourself and others to unlock deeper growth. No matter where you are in your journey, this episode will challenge you to embrace your imperfections and use them to create something extraordinary. Let’s start writing the best chapters of your life—starting now. Thank you for watching this video—Please Share it and get the word out! What part of this video resonated with you the most? Comment below! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This is the Ed Mylett Show. Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Plot twist, we're turning the tables on me and I'm being interviewed by my dear friend, Jamie Kern Lima, about my new book, The Power of One More. So enjoy, God bless you. I want to actually read something from the power of One More.

Because you talk and you've shared a lot already in this interview about being raised by a dad who was an alcoholic, but actually then changed and transformed later in his life and changed for you and your whole family. life and change for you and your whole family. And also just in his own form of contribution to the world. And I'm going to read part of this and then I would love to actually hand it over to you. Oh, wow.

To read part of. So this is page 243. Page 243. Page 243. Through his hard work with alcoholics anonymous, my father embraced the idea of living one more day sober, a core mantra of AA. In fact, it became the entire premise of his life. That may sound like a small thing to overcome if you've never battled addiction, but in

the world of an alcoholic, winning this fight one more day at a time means everything. Once he committed to it, my dad didn't try to stay sober every remaining day of his life. He tried to stay sober one more day of his life. One day at a time, stacked upon each other until days became weeks and months and they became years. The difference in that kind of mindset means everything to a recovering alcoholic. If you're reading this and you're thinking about quitting on your dream, a business you've started,

or anything important to you, don't put the pressure on yourself to meet that goal for five or 10 years or the rest of your life. Instead, think about not quitting for one more day. And I wanna hop to one other part that I'm going to hand over to you in a moment. And this is about your dad. The third and final thing to know is that it's never too late for one last one more. After my father died, I came across several index cards

as I was putting away some of his things. On these cards were scribbled codes like 14JL and 13PT. They were scattered on his vanity unit and taped to his bathroom mirror. These codes were dates and the initials of someone's name and there were hundreds of them. I soon figured out that every one of those cards represented a person my dad had helped get sober. And the dates were that person's sobriety anniversary date. Here's the most remarkable part. On

those dates, my father would call that person, wish them a happy sobriety birthday, and congratulate them. His message to them was simple. All you must do is stay sober for one more day. And I want to hand this to you if you could read the rest of this right here, starting with here. Mm-mm. Whoo. He made these calls hundreds of times a year, every year, including in the last days of his life. Even while he was on oxygen struggling to breathe and could barely whisper, he still

reached out and made calls to people on his note cards. Although he was in severe pain and agony and he knew he would pass away soon, my father had to help one more person. Nobody was watching. Nobody would have known whether he made those calls or not. However, because my father lived a one more life, this was an opportunity for him to help one last one more human being. In the end, my father's one last one more was a phone call to another person in need shortly before he passed away.

I've never been so moved or prouder of my dad, his quiet, kind, and humble gestures remain a profound example of service to others that I may never match. Now you know why I've made my sincere mission to try and help as many people as possible in my life too. I do it to honor my father. Coming back from the brink of losing his family and everything he worked for, my father found purpose and redemption. He made the most of the one last one more's

chance he was given. Our physical being dies and we do pass from this earth at some point, but my father's one last one more legacy will live through the ages. We should all be so lucky to live our lives that well. I haven't read that since I wrote it. Come on, Jamie. A lot of people have, you know, written and wondered. You know, you don't need to do what you do. You don't... Business is all kinds of stuff.

You don't need to show up on stages and Business is all kinds of stuff. You don't need to show up on stages and show up and serve millions of people every day. And I guess I just wanna know in your words, that you just shared, is that why you do? And why you do what you do? That was really hard. Come on, girl. That was really hard. Come on, girl.

I've just discovered that that's why when I wrote the book. I love people. And I really believe in people. I learned a lot from my dad. My dad was a really tough guy too, like a really tough guy. And he was such a kind person and so gentle and generous. And generous. And here's what dawned on me when my dad passed. Someone helped my dad. And I don't know who it is. But somebody helped my dad. And if someone didn't help my dad, my family would never be, I would never be in this situation. So, I would just like to be that person for someone

in some area of their life. And that's what we're all put here to do in our own ways to help other people. And I've found in my dad had his way of doing it and I found my way of doing it. And some people do it by being a great artist and making music that changes people. Some people do it by being a school teacher

like my sister, right? Some people make great food. Some people care for children or someone's nanny and they're just amazing at changing a child's life or a family's life. We all have our way. But when it dawned on me when I was writing this book, that wait, someone helped my dad.

And you never know when you help somebody, the ripple effect of what that's gonna be. That person, whoever they are that helped my dad, my dad then helped thousands of other people quietly every morning and night and of his life helping, and then had a son who's me, who's helped a few people too. And so when you help one person, you don't know what the ripple effects are,

the ramifications of that one person you've helped, that one difference you've made in their life. And so you have a responsibility to do it. And I know what most people are thinking, what do I have to offer somebody? You know what my dad had to offer somebody? I was a drunk. I was broken.

I was a mess. That was what my dad had to offer. My dad's mess was his offer. Not his brilliance, not his, my dad's personal mess and his personal story was what he would offer you when he would help you. So you don't have to have some magnificent talent or ability or skill or thing to help people. You have to be you. You have to have your story, your experience, your love.

When I walked into McKinley, when my dad got me the job the first day he got sober, the orphanage I worked at, all those little boys wanted when they would turn and look at me. I walked in there, I wasn't qualified, I wasn't a psychologist, I didn't have any kids of my own. There's nothing about me that said I should be helping children, right? But guess what? I know what it's like to come from a family that's not perfect. So the only thing that qualified me to be there was my own family's mess. And all those little boys wanted from me, all they wanted. Because God doesn't qualify the called or call the qualified. He qualifies the called. All those little

boys wanted from me was really simple. Hey, love me, care about me, believe in me, and show me how to do a little better. And so that's what I've learned from my dad. It's what I learned in writing the book, and it's what I've learned about each of us. And I'm super interested and optimistic about could this become a movement in our culture where humans begin to treat each other differently and we say hey I see you you're awesome you're not invisible you matter you're important you count you were born to do something great with your life I love you I care about you I believe in you let me show you how to do a little better right you show me how to

do better I'll show you how to do a little better. Right, you show me how to do better, I'll show you how to do a little bit better. You know, I'm just thinking you share so many powerful things about your dad. And now you are a grown man with two beautiful kids. I do have two beautiful kids. Bella and Max. Yep. What would you hope they would share

and say about you as their dad? Wow. Well, like I said earlier, dare and say about you as their dad? Wow. Well, like I said earlier, I think most things are caught, not taught. That's a great question. I hope they would tell, well, I'll give you the real answer. I hope they would tell you that he loves God I'll give you the real answer. I hope they would tell you that he loves God and that he was a flawed guy, but he really,

really loved people and really, really tried to help people. And I watched my daddy work his butt off all the time for other people way past when he didn't need to anymore. And I hope maybe most importantly, other than God, is they say he loves me. He loves me. And I would love them to think what I think of my dad. He was such a good man.

He was such a good man. He was a decent man. He was a compassionate man. And he just didn't ever judge anybody. You couldn't bring my dad a story or a mistake. When you're in that kind of program, man, you hear stuff, right? Just didn't judge anybody because he didn't want to be

judged himself. So I hope my kids say, my dad really loved the Lord and my dad loved people, loved me, and worked really, really hard to help people. That would be pretty cool if they would say that someday. I don't know if they would or not right now, but I hope they say that when I'm done. You bring up your love for the Lord. Can you, and I know this is personal, you haven't shared much about this publicly, but

can you share a little about your faith journey? Sure. That was the hardest chapter in the book to write, I told you this, because I didn't want to offend anybody or put anyone off who has a different faith, because I admire and respect people of all faiths and I don't like when I believe religion becomes judgmental or, hey, I know something you don't know or I'm right and you're wrong. We're talking about faith here right so it's something that I really can't stand and I by the way I'm a Christian I also think sometimes I have this feeling that sometimes organized religion or a friend Erwin likes to say organized religion sometimes gets in the way between people and Jesus so there have

all these thoughts about that stuff but but for me, there's one conclusion that, you know, although my earthly father was an incredible man and, you know, turned things around, my heavenly father was always present. And when I went back and looked through my life as I got a little bit older, there was one presence with me all the time that truly got me through all those times.

And even though I may not have known he was there, he knew I was there, and he was there all the time. And my faith gives me such tremendous comfort and peace. I always say I want more peace in my life, and what I really mean by that is I want more time to have my relationship with God. I have a relationship with God though, which means that it ebbs and flows. Sometimes it's better than others. I actually think questioning and asking questions about your faith is healthy because it helps

you dig deeper and find more answers. But my faith has been the center part of my life. I can only conclude that there's an incredible, powerful, and loving God that's helped me reach all these conclusions and given me this journey. And if I really step back, there's just no way any of this stuff that's happened I could have done on my own. And the funny thing about writing a book about how to be more happy and successful, it's a little bit of a weird feeling because although I'm giving you all the keys that I know in

the book, like, all right, I'm 51, what do I know? Here's like 19 one mores. And I go deep, as you know, on the mind and habits and time management and equanimity and identity and all this stuff in the book. But the truth is that there are entire pockets of my life where I can't explain them to you. They're supernatural. Like there's entire times in my life where I'm like all I can conclude, like when the water was turned off, it's a little bit of a blur. And then I sort of woke up and it was almost like the Lord just picked me up and carried me for a while.

And then kind of put me back down and said, all right, I'm here with you still, but you're going to, you know, and he picked me up for a while and put me back down again. And so I'd be remiss if I wrote a book about being happy and successful and I didn't have a chapter in the book on the most important central part of all of it for me Which is that this is I believe God put us here to love one another God put us here To care about one another to believe in one another to show each other how to do better That's what I think life is and so I also believe there's a purpose to this life beyond just being

here for 80 or 100 years and our body dies. How do I know that? I know that from my dad. I know that from his dad. And so my faith is the most important part of my life. I don't have a life without it. That's just the truth. None of this matters without it. And the most powerful thing ever for me is like those two babies of mine, Max and Bella, I love them more than you could possibly imagine loving two human beings. And to think that the Lord loves me even more than that and loves you even more than that and loves someone listening to them, man, that's powerful.

And the other last thing I'll say is I believe in energy. I believe in science. I'm one of these crazy Christian people who believes that there is vibrational frequency. I actually believe in all that. I just happen to believe a creator created all of that. But I'm not a dummy. You and I are great friends because I love your frequency. I love you. I love the energy I feel from you. I think you like mine. We all

respond to energy. So, I'm a diverse believer in that sense. I'm just a devout Christian in the main sense. And so I had to write a book. I had to put that in there. Do you ever doubt your faith? I have. I've questioned it. I've doubted it.

Sure, when you see your father suffer like that, Lord, what are we doing here? Or you see a tragedy in life? There are some things that just aren't, there aren't answers to. But I can tell you that there was a lot of things about my dad's suffering that served other people, including me. And so, as I've been able to take away these keys in my life, yeah, I think the truth is that I don't believe I doubt my faith anymore to the extent of whether it's true.

I doubt my depth of understanding of it. I doubt my depth of, sometimes I doubt my, I wish I could become closer. I regret sometimes in life, if I'm being honest, that I think a lot of us feel like I'm gonna really get around to pursuing my faith more aggressively when, right? When. And that time never comes. And so it was many, many years ago, I went, no, that time is kind of now. But even having said that,

there are things about me, this calling on my heart that I feel like I want to get closer. I want to get closer. And so the doubt part probably has changed from doubt of whether I believe what I believe, which I once have had, to more understanding and knowing more than I know. And so that's probably the doubt part. For people listening that maybe they, you know, don't have faith in their life, but they actually want to, but they just doubt God exists, right? And they just want to maybe take like a step towards seeing if

they can incorporate faith, whatever that faith may be by the way, into their life. Like what do you say to them? Well that's a great question and I get asked that a lot. So the first thing I would say to you is the fact that you're inquiring about has been calling on your heart. You would not be, you wouldn't have this calling on your heart unless there was an existence of something You know, you want to know more about so the fact that it's a calling No one put that there that was that was there from your birth. And so you're trying to you're trying to come home And what I would say to do is to get quiet

And to get still and in stillness and quietness. There's a lot of answers there and If there's somebody that you admire, I would say go have a conversation with them about their beliefs, someone that's non-judgmental. There are great books, I mean, depending on the faith you're gonna pursue, if you were to pursue my faith, I could certainly recommend some very specific books

that helped me. But I would say that get quiet, pray about it. And then I would say, go pursue some different places. See what feels home to you. Go visit a church, go visit a synagogue if that's appropriate for you. And go visit, and I think you'll find your home when you take action. But in life, we need to get emotion and take action to make something change in our lives. And so go do something about it.

Stop just sitting there contemplating. Get quiet, get some answers, and then go try. Go do something. It's so good and so true. And I think what you just said is really powerful. That's my own experience with going from doubting God exists for many years to then knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt He exists. But part of that was going to different churches, seeing what actually felt right.

Because you feel it. You feel it. You feel it. You can't fake it. You can't fake it. You'll feel your home when you're home, and I did too. I was raised in one particular church and then went to another and another and then I found what was my home. Same thing.

All right, you talk about taking action. I wanna talk about in the power of one more. Okay, first of all, let me just say something, okay? This is the clean version. My original version is marked up. There's like thousands of highlights, notes. Yes. All the things in there. And so this is the printed last night with just, I don't know how many markers in here, but on page 38, you say few things are more expensive than opportunities you miss. You pay for them

with regret, doubt, and lingering haunting, a lingering haunting feeling of what could have been. So my question, has there been a moment in your journey that you should have stepped into one more but you failed to do so. And what did you learn from that? Tons, yeah, there's a lot. The good news is there's redemption too if you keep pursuing the one mores. I can tell you one where I should have fixed something I did. So I always tell you vulnerable stuff.

My son was a golfer, or is a golfer, but was when he was young. And he had done something in a golf course that I thought he should have made a different decision. And I couldn't believe I did this, but when he was done playing, I let him know it really aggressively. Like, I cannot, I remember what it was,

I cannot believe you hit a three wood there with the lake in front of the green. What the heck were you thinking? And I start railing into my son, who's just trying to make me proud of him golfing. And I rail into him. And like every mistake you make as a parent, you just like, that's the biggest mistakes of your life.

Like I should have handled that differently. And anyway, this may seem super small, but it's massive to me. And so it was a Sunday and I had to go on a business trip that night. And I had the opportunity on a business trip that night and I had the opportunity to walk in his room before I left and to fix it and to say I'm sorry that's not how your daddy should talk to you I'm so proud of you I

love you I know you were trying your best I can't even talk about this right now because I'm so mortified by me. And I was still mad at him. I think he was 11, how ridiculous. And I left on the business trip and I was gone a week. And he mentioned to his mom every morning that I said that to him. And it just festered in him for a week. And that was one more opportunity for me to go in and say, I'm sorry, I made a mistake.

And I wasn't mad enough to do it. And that's a huge regret in my life. It seems really small, because I know that little incident, even though I fixed it eventually, stays in there. It stays in there. And that was a huge mistake of mine. So I regret that I did that.

And there's a bunch of business ones or major deals I didn't do or something I didn't invest in. There's lots like that. but I don't really care about all the stuff I care about my son and so there's been a couple instances like that in my life where I'm like you should have apologized so the one more as I regret most are the times where I didn't say I was wrong not decisions I didn't make or you know business deals I didn't pursue there's course there's things like that but it's where I was like I didn't have the humility in the moment to go, wait a minute, I could have actually fixed it in the car. I knew

I was wrong right when I did it. We've all done this as a parent, haven't we? As a parent, you're like, I know what I'm saying or to a spouse. I know right now this is wrong. And out of pride or ego or whatever it is, we don't fix it at the moment. I should have, right when the words left my mouth, I knew I should. I saw his little face change. I saw his face change. And I should have right when the words left my mouth. I knew I should I saw his little face change I saw his face change and I should have went. Oh my gosh Daddy is so wrong. Let me pull the car over. Come here Sit on my lap. I love you. Daddy is totally wrong right now. You were trying so hard out there I have no idea why I talked to you like that. I'm so sorry. Do you hear me? I love you. I love you You're amazing, but I didn't do it

I didn't do it then I didn't do it before I left and it took me a week until I got back to fix it Well that sat in my son for a week that poison I gave him right So I'm telling you all kinds of stuff today that I don't normally say but right when you asked me that that stood out To me number one time as a dad. I was like that was terrible. Yeah, so that's one Well, it's relatable and really powerful right Right? When you said it I'm like yep, or your spouse or right away. That one stood up. All right. So this is a really big, oh my gosh, Ed I could talk about the chapters in this book for like 500 shows, but you know, chapter seven, One More Dream. You talk about, this is page 91, entering your dream state. So you say the happiest people in life operate

out of their imaginations and dreams, and not their histories. Can you just talk about imagination and this dimension of dream state? And also like, how does it apply to your own creative process because I think people will find this fascinating a lot of questions and a lot of people DM me about what's Ed's creative process you know. My creative process is I'm a dreamer so this we're not gonna get in

stuff I am good at so most people I'll repeat this again operate out of their history and their memory not their imagination and their dreams. So they're constantly replaying patterns and thoughts and emotions from the past that regenerate themselves, limiting beliefs about themselves. Whereas in my case, I do do that, but I'm really, really good at imagination. Dreaming is one thing. So people say all the time, well, I dream at night, I dream in the daytime, and I dream a lot, and dreaming is a muscle.

So I am in dream mode a lot of the time. I'm driving in the car, I bet you're this way too Jamie. I'm just dreaming and envisioning my life often, the future, the things I want to do. It's a muscle I build, it's habitual. Also being habitual is rear view mirror replaying some situation you regret, replaying an emotion you don't want. That's habitual, a memory over and over and over again. The reason it's so emotional for me to talk about the stuff with my dad is that I truly do spend most of my time in the dream, in the imagination, in the future, being present, operating in the present, imagining the future. I don't spend most of my time, you know, living back in my memories and my history, even though I know there's an unconscious program running in there. I don't stay back there a lot.

I don't stay back there in previous achievements or previous failures. So lucid dreaming is a muscle. And imagination is different. Imagination is something you had an abundance of when you were a child. It's why you were happy as a child in my belief system for two reasons.

One, your proximity to God was just a few years ago. Okay, so you were closer to God many years ago, so you were happier and more joyous. And two, your imagination was flourishing as a child. And the world, your parents, school teachers started to suppress it. This is what's important. Read history, do math, be a good girl, stop dreaming,

sit in your chair, write those spelling words down, whatever it is, and over time we get to a certain age like we don't imagine at all anymore, or very little. What percentage of your time when you were seven were you in imagination mode, and what percentage of your time at this current age are you imagining, dreaming, imagining, envisioning? And so for me, imagination is where the topics come from, the speeches come from, what I teach comes from, from imagination. If I'm in history, nothing bothers me more

than to watch a speaker or a coach repeat themselves from four years ago. I already got that one, man. I already got that one, lady. You said that 20 years ago. A little bit of that's okay, but like, I always feel like if I'm not showing up new and different My values diminished because you already had that version of me. So this imagination and dreaming by the way

I have friends that are too. Hey, look at this. How about this thought? How about this place? How about this charity? How about this you and I were doing it last night on the phone together. We're imagining and dreaming. It's the best state It's when we're the most alive when we're in history and memory, we're literally dying. Because you're either growing or dying as a human being. It's just a fact. And so you've got to begin to dream. Lucid dreams in the daytime. I have a part of the book that's be a possibility,

an impossibility thinker and achiever. Start to just let it go. Let the imagination go. If there weren't barriers Like if there weren't barriers, if there weren't obstacles, if you didn't have anything holding you back, what would you be imagining? What would you be dreaming? Where would you be going? By the way, it's a great place to go. History and memory is like some fabrication most of the time anyway or a sad place. So where you're going is awesome. Most people give themselves zero gift of imagination

in dreaming, or they only do it when they sleep. And when you're asleep, you're not always in control of what that dream is. But when you're awake, you can direct the dream. And dreams, to me, are a form of prayer. There's a, you want to go to vibrational frequency? There's an energy to a dream. A thought has energy. A dream has energy. An imagination has energy. You are literally beginning to create something out of nothing when you imagine and dream

it. When you have a thought or an imagination or a dream of something, you actually create a space that exists in time that didn't exist before the imagination or the dream. So now that that space exists, your subconscious unconscious mind, your reticular activating system, which is chapter two in the book, starts to try to furnish the space.

It starts trying to put the people, places and things in this space that you just created that didn't exist the minute before you had the thought of the dream. So you're creating new spaces in your life constantly when you imagine and dream. If I could get anything across, I'm so glad you brought this chapter up. Humans need to begin to imagine it. Think about people you admire. You admire Oprah Winfrey, right? I admire Dr. Martin Luther King. I also admire

Oprah. But most of the people that you admire, they're dreamers. They got big imaginations. The people that you really look up to, I don't know, you look up to some, you admire, they're dreamers. They got big imaginations. The people that you really look up to, you look up to some political person or actor, entertainer, or somebody that you know, they got a vivid imagination. They're a vivid dreamer. My hero literally is famous for saying, I have a dream. Come on, man. I mean, that's incredible.

So that's the part of life where all the juice is. You can hear even my energy change when we talk about this topic. It's where you're the most alive and it's where you're supposed to be is dreaming. Dreaming in the future, operating in the present. It is so powerful. And to say that when you dream, right, daydream or dream a dream that your particular activating system goes to furnish that space. Absolutely, yes. So true. I'm just thinking of so many times in my life that's happened, but I'm imagining so many people listening to us right now. They're like, oh gosh,

I got to start dreaming. It's free. What have I been doing? It's free. It's free. It's free. It's the highest form of entertainment and it's completely free and it's the best thing you could ever give your soul and your spirit and yourself to change your life and it's completely free and it's the best thing you could ever give your soul and your spirit And yourself to change your life and there's no cost to it That's beautiful Life changing for a lot of people. Yeah I hope so even just starting it baby steps even and you talk about I have two really fun rounds that I want to do before I close but one thing I want to say Ed that I think

that I want to do before I close. But one thing I want to say, Ed, that I think is really unique to you. And I know that you haven't always been this way, and maybe it's part of your own growth, but I feel like you do something I rarely ever see done publicly, and that's that you are not afraid to show vulnerability. You're not afraid to show sort of these beautiful,

what would normally look like contrasting things. And what I mean by that is you're this dude with muscles and then you're like narrating your two Pomeranians day, Daisy and Lily, right? You are, you know, you're setting the stadium like on fire. People just, just their lives are being so impacted and then you're also very introverted. You know what I mean? There's kind of this contrast. You do it so well, I think even with, you know, sharing real direct, you know, very direct

confidence statements or tools or tips, but then you'll share how, you know, very direct confidence statements or tools or tips. But then you'll share how, you know, you're not feeling so well. And you know, this is happening. It's sort of this contrast of showing all sides of you. And I'm just, you know, I'm just wondering how you got to that place. Because a lot of people are scared. They show up not just on social media, but in their day-to-day lives as part of who they are,

but not as all of who they are. How did you get to this place of showing up like and with a confidence as all of who you are? Great question. I'm, most people are pretty complex and I am. I mean, there's a lot of simple things about me, but I'm a pretty complicated person in that sense like I am really really intense and

then I'm hopefully you know pretty kind person. I think that I do it because I just got tired of trying to pretend I was perfect. I just got tired of it like I I want people to have hope not idolization and so I want people to go you know hey if this guy... Hold on, hold on. You want people to have hope not idolization. Right. How many people out there right now are just... that's not their priority. That is huge Ed, what you just said. Thank you. It's well and the people that were my idols, once I met them, I was like, well, wait a minute here.

So I want people to go, hey, this is a flawed, imperfect person, which we all are. And man, I'm watching this guy fight to really change who he is and get better and grow. And he's obviously learned a lot of tools for doing it. In fact, the reason that I'm so into personal development, self-improvement, self-confidence, all these other things is for me to just become a baseline functioning person, I had to have these

tools. And then when I got the baseline, I'm like, well wait a minute, maybe we could take this further and actually be, you know, happier and successful. So I want to show that, I want to be able to not show, it's not even showing, it really isn't, it's just like, here it is. I'm not consciously like, I'm gonna show that I want to be able to not show it's not even showing it really isn't it's just like here It is I'm not conscious like I'm gonna show I I'm just like this is me like I'm a really intense, dude I love to compete, but I really love people and also I think over time as we age we change You know, I think you know the 25 year old me probably would be totally unwilling. I don't know Maybe that's not true. I think a lot of people would tell you even then I was that way.

But maybe I'm a little bit more unafraid to just say, listen, I have fears and insecurities and I made this mistake with my son. And, you know, I love God and I love my dad. And, you know, I have fears. And I think that hopefully by hearing those things, you go, well, man, if he could do it, I could do it. This is not some perfect person, he's got it all figured out.

I will just say this, I've got some things figured out and that's better than I used to be. And if I could give you what I know, maybe I could save you a bunch of time, bunch of mistakes I made. Speed up your happiness and success through all the mistakes I've made. So I also like love people like you.

And this is where all this kind of comes together. I love really confident people who have a ton of humility. And I don't love confident people who don't have humility. And I'm not really interested in being on a bunch of humble people who have no self-confidence. Self-confident people who have humility are curious. They wanna learn, they wanna grow. Self-confident people who have humility are curious. They want to learn, they want to grow. Self-confident person without that, they're hard to be around. You know this. And they eventually probably make a mistake or burn out or

whatever. And then our humble friends who we love so much, they're just hard to take through life with you if they have no self-confidence. Like, come on, you can do it, let's go. And so I love people who tread that nuance really well. You do that as well as anybody I've ever met before. Like there's this strength of a woman in there. Like there's this, and I've watched you like defend me in different situations. Like there's this really strong confident woman who knows who she is, but so humble, so much humility that she still has this other part of her that's, you know, am I? And also wants to learn, wants to grow, values other people, right? Like

humility is, I think, sometimes just the value of other people. And when you have all this self-confidence and no humiliation, Are you the most important person? Yeah. So hopefully over time I've nuanced that pretty well. I think it's beautiful. Even when you're doing animal voices, I think it's beautiful because I think people at home are like, oh, I do that too. And I think it's just this beautiful kind

of like showing all sides. And I want to say it's obviously no accident. Millions and millions of people connect with you, your shows, and you are one of the few people who does a really good job at showing both sides of things. You'll have somebody, you talk about politics, you'll have somebody extremely left one day and the next day someone extremely right.

You'll show both sides of everything, never even sharing where you're at. And you, you know, I've always felt this, and this has always kind of just been dumbfounding to me that I feel like the quickest way to get dull in life is to only surround yourself with people that think the way you do. Yes. Right?

And so many people only surround themselves with people who think the way that they do. Oh, that's the thing to do now, isn't it? It is right now. You'll only be around people who share your political beliefs, your spiritual beliefs, your life beliefs. You know it's real, the truth, and you know this.

You ain't learned it very much from them. You very rarely learn anything from anybody who completely agrees with you on everything. And even in your companies, you know this, when we're building the company, I want people to disagree with me. I want people who challenge me. I want people with a diverse background. I even in your companies, you know this, when we're building the company, I want people to disagree with me, I want people to challenge me, I want people with a diverse background,

I want people who come at it from a completely different perspective. And so I have lots, as you know, and so do you, and we laugh about some of our mutual friends that disagree with stuff with each other. My dad and I disagreed on a lot of stuff. One of the most interesting, fascinating things about my dad was we didn't agree

on political things all the time, we certainly didn't agree on political things all the time. We certainly didn't agree on religious things all the time. Our outlook on all kinds of stuff was very different. To say that my dad and I are the same person in that regard isn't true. My favorite person, you know, an adult person in my life is my dad, and me and him disagreed on lots of stuff and I learned lots of stuff and Some of the things over time I do think more like him again, you know But I don't want people around me all the time who agree with me and I want people all the time

I'm gonna just agree with everything. I think how boring you're right. No, you're right. No, you're right And it is so our culture now, isn't it? It's so our culture. And every facet is trying to put us in these camps. You're over there, you're one of those, you're one of those, I'm one of these. Man, that is absolutely not how this thing's supposed to work. Absolutely 100% counter to how the world is supposed to work. I promise you, of all the things we talked about today, I'm the most sure of what I'm

telling you right now, that we are supposed to be different. There's supposed to be diversity of thoughts, of behavior, of background, of culture, of religion, of ethnicity. The diversity in our world is the strength of this world. And if there was ever a leader who rose up and said, I'm embracing that and I'm not even gonna let you play your game where you're pitted against one another. Yeah. Oh man, would we change the world.

Well, speaking of that, I mean, I know you are, you are paid to counsel country leaders, which I won't go into that. But what I will ask you on what you just said is, maybe the billion dollar question of the day. Will you ever run for office? Oh yeah, probably not. Probably not.

I'm not going to say I never would. If I thought doing that would make a bigger difference in the world or I could be utilized to make a bigger difference, if that time ever arose I would do it, but I don't think that time will arise. I think my platform and the freedom of that platform probably allows me to make a bigger contribution and a bigger difference anyway. And the truth is, in the way that the political world works right now, I'm not so sure that I fit in anywhere specifically. So I doubt that that's the case.

What's that? Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that is a good thing. So I would say probably, I'd say don't hold your breath on that one. You never know, you never say never, but right now, definitely, I can tell you this,

for one more day, I'm definitely not that I know. All right, page 189 on the book. In the book, The Power of One More, one of my favorite quotes in the whole book. Dare to challenge yourself to make history. How will Ed Milet make history? Wow, come on, Jamie, these are good questions. I'll make history, if I ever make history,

if I make history, it will be by leveraging the beautiful talents and skills and backgrounds of other people. It wouldn't be me. It would be my ability to gather people who could do something collectively great together. I'm a really big believer in the collective soul, the collective mind, more than I am one person

doing something, and I think that's another part of our culture that's gotten really skewed as well. So if I'm gonna make history, it will be like what my dad did, it'll just be by helping one person at a time, and with their life, be happier or more successful, or be more seen seen or achieve their potential. And I will do that by gathering the skills and talents of a lot of other people.

And I'm not, when I say do something historic in your life, what I mean by saying that to you is that you should have a sense of the historic, meaning you are making history. Your life is being documented. There's a book being written about you. If you're a person of faith like you and I, we know that there's an accounting, there's a book of our life happening. Even if you don't believe any of that stuff, someone's probably paying attention somewhere, right?

So at some point, if your great grandchildren came along and read the book of your life, if it ended right now, if the final chapter were right now on the book of you, would you be satisfied with the totality of that book? Have all the best chapters been written or are there better ones to write? And if there are better ones to write, what are you doing to write them better? What book, what resource, what podcast, what friends, what decision, what one more emotion, what one more thought are you looking for to write the best chapters of your life? And the good news about this book of you is it's not over if you're listening to this.

The other good news is there's two co-authors, you and God, and any chance you want, you can write a new chapter, you can be a whole new character, you can flip the script like I did at some point. You just decide to step in and write the best chapters of your life. At any point, you as the author of this, the chapters don't have to repeat themselves. But right now, if your great-grandkids came along and read that book, would they poke it up and go, wow, look at that moment like I would with my dad, look at that family he helped, look at that person he helped, quietly, look at that change, look at, look how he lived those 15 years of his son's life and then look at the next part. Or in your life, would the chapters just start kind of running together? At some point one chapter look like the other, look like the other, they go, this is a little bit boring. And would they put the book

down? Would they be inspired? Because there's four types of people. There's unmotivated, then there's motivated people, which are wonderful, they're driven by motives. I wanna achieve this to get that. Then there's inspirational people. These are people who are moved in spirit, right? Those are amazing human beings.

They move people with energy and spirit. Then there's the highest level, which is aspirational, where people aspire to be more like you, aspire to be like you. When someone read your book right now, would they say you were unmotivated, motivated, inspirational, or how about aspirational? That eventually when your great grandkids

read that book of your life, they go, I wanna be more like grandma, or great grandma. She was courageous. She helped people or great grandma. She was courageous. She helped people. She grew. She took risks. She changed. She loved people. She cared about people. She was special. Just like my sister who's the school teacher or just like her brother me in different ways, that book of your life you're the author of and it's supposed to be a masterpiece and you can get to write in the best chapters now, right now, and my dad proved it. First 35 years or so of his life, one way,

the second half, magnificent. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So what do you want your 2025 to look like? Think about that for a second. Every January brings you 365 blank pages waiting to be filled and in 2025, you may be ready for a plot twist. Maybe there's a part of your story you've pages waiting to be filled and in 2025 you may be ready for a plot twist. Maybe there's a part of your story you've been waiting to revise and if you ask me what all the guests on my show have in common, not all

but most, they go to therapy or have been to therapy in their life including me. Life isn't about just sort of navigating things on your own. It's about picking up a pen and being the author of your own story and have God's blessing in your life. Think of therapy as your editorial partner helping you write new chapters and create the meaningful joy you deserve so you don't just keep writing the same chapter over and over again. BetterHelp is fully online making therapy more affordable and convenient. They have over 5 million people worldwide already using them. Access a diverse network of about 30,000 credentialed therapists. Write your story

with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash ed show to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P dot com slash ed show. This message is from sponsor Intuit Turbo Tax. Taxes was dealing with piles of paperwork and frustrating forms, and then waiting and wondering and worrying if you were going to get any money back. Now taxes is easily uploading your forms to a TurboTax expert who's matched to your unique tax situation. An expert who's backed by the latest

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Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now onto our next guest. Here's a clip of Ed Mylett appearing on the podcast, The School of Greatness with host Louis Howes. I love people with a lot of self confidence, a lot of humility. Cause if people have a lot of humility that have no self confidence, you're kind of dragging them with host Lewis Howes. I love people with a lot of self-confidence, a lot of humility. Because if people with a lot of humility

that have no self-confidence, you're kind of dragging them through life as a friend. Some with all their self-confidence, no humility. They're going to burn out. They're going to make a mistake. They're not curious. They don't grow. I think that, I think even the reason

I'm in the personal development space, why do I believe so much that people can change? I watched my dad do it. And then in my case, I had to learn these learn these things man to be like a baseline functioning person So my default personality is Insecure even today even today come on very much very much How is that default you wake up and you say I'm a nobody or what?

What's I like this? I'm fooling everybody they really knew you know pretty some imposter syndrome mixed with just like tremendous, I was bullied as a kid, my dad was an alcoholic, I wasn't a real big guy, the only thing I wasn't good in school, the only thing I was good at was sports. A lot like with you, you were a great athlete. So my default is tons of insecurity.

So that's probably never gonna go away the humility part. So the part that I've worked on really hard is the self-confidence part. And so I've got all this stuff in the book on those tips and what have I done to build it? Because I had to get there just to get to baseline. And then I'm like, this stuff works. What if I refined it and made it my own

and started to build these other strategies and stuff? So the confidence part is a thing I'm always gonna have to work on even today even with all the success and the you know The massive show and the big businesses and all the homes and everything that people see. Yeah The truth is what else do you need though to feel more calm? I don't need other things. It's an internal game I don't need other stuff. In other words, the stuff is really fleeting and temporary. So I don't need another, you know, I bought an island lately, you know that, right? Like when I bought this island,

it didn't make me more confident. It just was something that I've always wanted to be able to do, but I, it's not stuff. What needs to happen for me is that I'm most confident when I'm living in my intention, which is to serve, which is to like help other people. When I'm most confident when I'm living in my intention, which is to serve, which is to help other people. When I'm not doing that, Wayne Dyer, when I met him really, really young,

told me, you're gonna change the world, Ed Mylett. And then he, I'm sure he said this to a lot of people, but he complimented me. I met him on a beach. We watched the sun come up together. In Maui? In Maui. Yeah, I was running on the beach.

It's where he lived. Yeah, I was running on the beach. What was he like? I never met him. Incredible. So we became a dear friend of mine. But I'm running, you get up before the sun comes up, I was running on the beach. What was he like? I never met him. Incredible. So we became a dear friend of mine, but I'm running, you know, you get up before the sun comes up, I'm running on this, I'd won this incentive trip,

and there's this bald dude running towards me with this hairy back. I'll never forget this sweaty, hairy back. And it was so long ago, because I had a Sony Walkman on. Wow. And he had one, and he ran by me, I go, that was Wayne Dyer.

And I said, Dr. Dyer, you changed my life. And he had this deep voice like mine, and he pulls it out, and he goes, well, I go, that was Wayne Dyer. And I said, Dr. Dyer, you changed my life. And he had this deep voice like mine, and he pulls at me and goes, well, I doubt that. And he goes, I bet you changed your life. But he goes, how did I help you? And then he walked towards me and we lit, I get emotional, like God's been so good to me. We sat on this beach together and watched the sun come up

for about an hour and a half. And about an hour into it, he goes, you're gonna change the world. And I'm sure he said this to a lot of people. And he's like, and it he goes you're gonna change the world and I'm sure he said this to a lot of people and he's like and it's you're very talented you're brilliant you're a good communicator you know and he goes and that's not the reason why and he was writing a book at that time called the power of intention that's great book great book credible book and he goes you really intend to help people and he goes all

these things with your father and your upbringing and all that ed, he goes, that's all made you. And he goes, you have such a heart to want to help people. And he goes, would you do me a favor if we never meet again? And we ended up meeting many times. I said, yeah. And he said, never link your confidence to your ability.

Because I know you struggle with your confidence. If it's predicated on your abilities or your achievements, you're always going to be chasing it. He goes, but if you'd link your abilities or your achievements, you're always going to be chasing it. He goes, but if you'd link your confidence to your intentions, man, do you have beautiful intentions. And that is something I knew about me. I know I have a good heart.

And I've never forgotten that. So when I do a podcast or a speech, I just connect to my intent, you know, and it's been the one thing that's brought me confidence. Because if you said, hey, you got to be confident because you're great, or you got a house, or you have a plane, I go, yeah, but, yeah, but. But if you go, you gotta be confident because you have beautiful intentions to help you, but I go, mm, I might have to list you.

You might be right. And that's where my confidence comes from. So, as an athlete, I gained confidence from results. From actually getting the result of becoming better. Yeah, that's one way to. Right, I was not good. That's one way to get it. Right, I was not good, and then I put in the effort, and all the mistakes or the failures or the feedback,

what I like to call it, gave me the lessons and taught me how to get better to accomplish the result that I was looking for. I achieved the goal, win the game, or just improve my abilities. So what I'm hearing you say is, link also link confidence to intention. Some people say link it to the effort, right?

Like the effort that you show up, that you just keep showing up, and others talk about the results. Should we be thinking about it? There's two. I have a whole, I call it the holy trilogy in the book of self-confidence. What is this? But the confidence trilogy is faith, have confidence. So if you're a person of faith, no matter what you believe in,

it's amazing to me how people that believe in energy, quantum energy, or they believe in, they're a Christian like me, and I believe in both, by the way. But whatever their faith is, that they have it on Sunday, they have it at Bible study, or they have it when they get together with their friends or when they meditate. But somehow when they walk into a business meeting, they're alone. So why are you alone then, but you're not alone these other times?

So I'm never alone. So why are you alone then, but you're not alone these other times, so I'm never alone. So that's number one. Number two is my intention. And third is my associations change my confidence. But here's the biggie. If you don't have self-confidence, here's what you have. You have a really bad reputation with yourself. You have built a habit of not keeping the promises

you make to yourself. We've all heard this before, but there's a level, I have a chapter in the book called One More Standard. Here's how I built what I would call almost superhuman confidence in spite of my insecurity. Think about that, superhuman confidence in spite of my insecurity. And it's exactly what you just said.

It's an effort play. If you don't have self-confidence, you've never kept the promises you make to yourself. Check that box. If you have self-confidence, you've started to keep the promises you make to yourself. If you wanna have superhuman self-confidence started to keep the promises you make to yourself. If you wanna have superhuman self-confidence, you keep the promises you make to yourself and one more.

So if I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna work out, I'm gonna do 10 reps in the gym, I do one more. If I'm gonna do 45 minutes on the treadmill, I do one more. If I wanna make 10 contacts in a day, I do that and one more. If I'm gonna tell my daughter I love her every day, I'm gonna do that and one more. And so that higher standard, daughter I love her every day, I'm gonna do that, and one more.

And so that higher standard, because in life we don't get our goals, we get our standards long term. And so if your standard is one more, what starts to happen is you go, I'm willing to do things other people aren't willing to do, and I combine that, that I have great faith, great associations, and I intend to help people.

This is a formula to build wonderful self-confidence and never lack humility when you have it. So when did you learn this one more mindset? Was this from your dad early on or was this? From my dad, so we talked about this a little bit earlier, but my dad had these couple theories he would always say to me. And so one was when he got sober, he gave it one more try.

He was gonna stay sober one day at a time. And then my dad, there's no dreaming in my house. There's no like, my jet, you know, I've had, I've been blessed, like multiple airplanes, right, in my life, my jet was in almost walking distance of my dad's house. He's never been on any of them. Wow.

And I would say to my dad, I would say, hey, let's go play golf in Maui. Let's go, there's these great golf courses in the ocean. And my dad would say, well, why would I go all the way to Maui to play golf with my favorite person, my son, when we can play here in Chino? It's not about there, I wanna be with my son. So this, my family had none of that stuff.

But my dad knew I was a dreamer. And my dad would always say, you know, I was one decision away from changing my life the whole time, one choice. And he'd say, Eddie, you're not as far away from these dreams as you think you are. And I'd say, really, dad? And he'd say, Eddie, you're not as far away from these dreams as you think you are. And I'd say, really, Dad? And he'd go, no, you're actually a lot closer than you think.

But because you think it's so far away, you behave in accordance with that belief system and it always keeps it that far away from you. So how do we bring our dreams closer to us? The first thing is, that's a great question, the first thing is you need to believe and know that you're one decision, one relationship, one meeting, one book, one thought, one something away from a completely different life.

And when you know that, then you begin to look for them. And so in the second chapter of the book, I have a thing in the book called the matrix. And your matrix is your reticular activating system in your brain. It's the filter for your entire life. Okay? And this filter reveals to you the world that's in front of you. Again, example of it is, I like what Musk is doing. So I just bought a Tesla.

I drove it here today. I got a Tesla too though. Model X or what do you got? I got a Plaid. Okay, wow. I got a Plaid, it's a good one. Nice. And so I bought this Plaid, and all of a sudden, man,

everywhere I go, there's Teslas. You notice this? I see them everywhere. I'm like, whoa, I see them everywhere. In other words, three lanes over, other side, freaking Tesla, this is crazy. They were always there. Why didn't I see them before. Three lanes over, other side of the road. Freaking Tesla, this is crazy. They were always there. Why did I see them before?

Because they weren't part of my RAS. So the key thing I teach you in the book, how to slow down time and create the matrix of your life. When you make the Teslas of your life, those relationships, those meetings, those thoughts, those encounters, you can very easily do this, but there's a process of repeated visualization you do

that's not complicated. It's chapter two of the book, and it and it will shift you the other component to I have a chapter in the book called become an Impossibility thinker and a possibility achiever. Here's how most people's frameworks. They don't have an RAS program They're not intentional so they keep getting if the things most important Are your worries fears anxieties problems bills? you will continue to have people places and things revealed to you that confirm it. And if you operate out of your memory and your history, if this is your pattern, your framework, you will continue to find those things. You need to learn to operate out of your imagination and your dreams. This is a different framework for life. Imagination is different than

dreaming. Imagination causes you to create dreams and thoughts that never happen. When you imagine something, you create a space. Once you have a thought, this is powerful, when you have a thought, you create a space that did not exist in the world before you had that thought. And that space is now exists. And the way your brain works and your life works and the universe works is it tries to furnish that space, whether it's a negative or a positive thought, it starts to hear things it wouldn't hear. That's why, like, when you're in a crowded room and they say, Louis, you can hear Louis

auditorily over all the noise. Why? It's in your RAS. It's why you see the Tesla. Okay? So, the key thing is being able to operate on this imagination. Why is imagination so important? When you were a child, three, four, five years old, you were probably happier than you are

right now. Why? Two reasons. A, you were closer to God you are right now. Why? Two reasons. A, you were closer to God. You had just been with God more recently. And two, you operated out of your imagination. You didn't operate out of a history and a memory because you didn't have one.

And slowly over time, by the time you were 10, 11, 12 years old, loving people installed their limiting thoughts and beliefs, their software into you. Because most things in life are caught, not taught. You catch them. And so now you're starting to operate of history and memory, and you repeat it, and your ARI-S begins to see the things

that reinforce that history and memory. And so you basically have the same life over and over again with a different cast of characters in a different environment, but the same emotions. You have the same emotional home. My dad used to say to me, every call bro, till the day he died and I'm 50 years old, blah, blah, blah, whatever we're talking about,

last thing he would always say to me, be careful. Be careful. What the heck? And I go. I don't know. I never knew. But what is that programming from the time you're eight years old, be careful.

Hey, go to school, be careful. So with that, it operated on this fear thing, right? All of that. You need to be careful. You need to be careful. Don't make this risk. Don't take that business. Don't start a podcast. Don't get on that stage and speak. Don't do this. Don't do that. You say that to an already unconfident, insecure person. He meant it lovingly. By the time I'm 50 worth hundreds of millions of dollars, be careful. He didn't even know he was saying it to me. But what was he doing? He was installing, God bless him, his limiting beliefs into me as a little boy. So a lot of these things that you believe,

you were defenseless when you started to believe them. They were installed in you by loving people who were around you. And even though your life may look differently, your emotional home, the four or five, six emotions you experience pretty regularly, might be very familiar from your parents, one or two of them, right?

And so you need to look at your emotional home. What's your most powerful emotion and the emotion that you wish you could let go of? Love is the most powerful emotion in the world. We will all do everything for love. If there were more love in the world, the way we treat one another, the way we express our thoughts,

you'll do anything for love, right? So love is by far my most powerful emotion. It's like, I love you. And like, when I just saw you, we didn't just, like people, we didn't just hug for like one second. And you do this better than I do. I hold people, I make it uncomfortable because I just want to hug and love our people.

But it's not uncomfortable, bro. Because the reason you're so successful is you truly do love people. And you come from that place. And I know we're bigger dudes and like that's a beautiful expression of a man. A real man is capable of real love. That's the sign of real strength. So that's the most powerful one. And then for me, I know the emotion that I wish I didn't have. It's chaos. Really? How often do you experience chaos? Less because I'm aware of it. But I'm gonna tell you all the time until about five

years ago, even when we first met. Why? I used to even say this, man, I operate great under chaos. Man, you should see me operate under chaos. Most people can't handle chaos. I'm calm under pressure. Well, the reason for that was I grew up in an alcoholic home. So I'm very familiar with chaos.

It became a very familiar emotion. And what we do is we gravitate towards the familiar emotions in our life, even if they're not ones that serve us. And I don't think there's negative or positive emotions. I say this in the book. There just are. Fear isn't negative.

Fear and abundance is negative. But some fear, being afraid to do this podcast, to some extent, causes us to prepare. So a dose of it, it was given to us in the caveman days, so T-Rex didn't need us, right? So some fear is good, some anxiety is okay. Some frustration, some anger is appropriate. It's to the dosage level.

And we get these four or five of them. For me, some chaos is okay, it's fun, it's exciting, it's exhilarating, right? But getting it every day, every week, every month, all the time. And so how do you get rid of it? Well, one way you get rid of it is just be awareness. When you have an awareness of a thought,

it loses its impact and power over you. It almost becomes like this, I'll do it, I'm like, I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm doing the chaos thing again. Everything's great right now. All the houses are paid off, my kids are happy, Mary knew a great woman, got great friends. I'm doing the chaos thing again, aren't I?

You dummy, you're doing it again. And it kind of loses its power over you. So I have a chapter in the book called, One More Emotion, and how to take an inventory of the emotions you have. And so, yeah, man, mine's definitely love and the one I don't want is chaos. Because chaos causes me to act out of anger

and frustration, it can depress me. And your intentions are not gonna be as, I guess. It's pure, it's a gateway emotion. Chaos is my gateway emotion. Chaos is my gateway emotion to the ones I don't want. Chaos gives me stress. Chaos gives me anger. Chaos gives me frustration.

Chaos gives me fear. So it's a gateway emotion. But what is the result when you create from that space of chaos? It's funny. I have found the ability to externally create something pretty productive. Right. But stay with me on this. But the process in getting there is destructive. The process in getting there is not beautiful.

And I used to think, and a lot of successful people- Forcing your way to get the results. Almost through force. Yeah. You know? And I still do it sometimes. I'm thinking of a situation this week where I did it. And I used to think, well, that's a superpower though, because I've created all these external.

Look what I made. Look what I did. And I'm doing it because of that. The truth is I did it in spite of it. You did. And there's a lot of things in our lives that we have linked to our formula, our recipe of success that we hold onto,

that you've done in spite of those things, not because of those things. Sorry, you're 51 now? I am. 52, 51. When you were 40, on a scale of 1 to 10 of the self-confident happiness joy scale, 10 being like you loved yourself fully, you were peaceful, you had an abundant mindset, you were, had inner peace, you know, joy, 1 being you hated yourself, you were miserable, you

were in chaos 24-7, where were you on that scale at 40? Okay, the real answer is probably a three. Okay. Of happiness. Uh-huh. But if you met me, I could convince you that it was probably an eight. That you were super happy and you had it together.

Probably a three. And since your father passing, where are you now? Probably a nine. Really? Yeah, and I no longer feel the need to convince you. Because I've learned that this has already existed within me, I didn't have to go get it. I just had to allow myself to experience it.

And it took me a long time to treat myself in such a way that I allowed myself to feel these things that have always been there. I had them when I was a little baby boy. I just lost them along the way in these patterns and programs that were installed in me and my experiences. And I got to share something with you brother that just dawned on me. I wrote this whole book and two weeks ago I had this, this is just for me and you, but everybody can hear it.

Sure. And I've always tried to disqualify myself. I've always, you're not this. Why is that? It always shocks people, even people that know me really myself. I've always, you're not this. Why is that? It always shocks people, even people that know me really well, they're like, not you, I have that, but there's no way you haven't, right? Yeah, you're too confident, too talented, too,

and I don't know that I'm too talented, but I think I can fake it pretty well. And I disqualify myself because, you know, the truth is that maybe for a while everything that I got that was love when I was a child only came when I achieved something. So I started to conflate early on in my life recognition and significance with love.

In other words, my dad would love me if I hit the home run. My dad would love me if I get straight A's. And so then when I would feel these things. But something really amazing, and also like I'm really big at holding myself, I love to beat myself up with mistakes I've made. I did this, I did that, I should have done this, I didn't do that.

And I've always thought these mistakes, these weaknesses of mine disqualify me from being happy or helping people. And this amazing breakthrough, the one decision that changed my family forever is my dad's decision to get sober. And it changed my family forever. I'm talking to you because my dad made that decision.

And I've always been so proud of my dad for that. But this is just two weeks ago, 3.15 in the morning, I wake up, I'm crying. And I wake Christiana up, I go, babe, someone helped dad. And she went, what honey? I said, someone helped dad. And she went, what honey? I said, someone helped dad. She goes, what do you mean? I said, babe, I never thought about this.

And my dad's darkest, worst moment of his life, in some coffee shop or some room somewhere, some precious soul helped my dad. Reached out to him, talked to him. Talked to him and got him sober. Wow. And I said, babe, that's not the powerful part. And I have no idea who this person is,

but I wonder if they know the difference they made in Max and Bella's, my children's lives, or your life, where the millions of people I've helped, that one decision they made. And she goes, oh my gosh, I said, I never thought about this beautiful human being. Always gave the credit to my dad, but some stranger helped him.

And I said, babe, this is the bananas part. Do you know what qualified them to help my dad, but some stranger helped him. And I said, babe, this is the bananas part. Do you know what qualified them to help my dad? Their messed up life. They were an alcoholic. They were a drug addict. Little did that person know the things they were the most ashamed of. The biggest mistakes of their lives

when they were using drugs and drinking and stealing. That was qualifying them to change my dad's life. And all of us, we run around carrying these bags of, I'm not qualified because I made this mistake, I had this bankruptcy, this relationship didn't work, I did this thing you don't know about, I'm so ashamed of. That's why you're qualified.

That's the thing that qualifies you. The humanness in you. You are the only human being with your combination of gifts that you were given, whatever they are, and your experience, and real human beings help real human beings by being vulnerable and transparent saying, I know where you are, I've messed up worse.

I've made greater mistakes. I felt more, I know that depression, I know that anxiety, I know that shame, I know what that feels like. That beautiful soul who was a drug addict and alcoholic, they didn't know all those mistakes they're making were leading them out of their heart. And they finally got to a point where their intention was to help my father.

In the lowest moment of his life, they changed my dad's life and they changed mine and maybe me and you are changing a few today because of that person's mess. It's crazy. Is that crazy? That's amazing. I know. I love them and thank them. That's amazing man. So hey guys, I just walked in the studio. We're gonna record an episode and guess what I just did before I walked in. Walked into my pantry, got my AG1s out, poured it in my glass, made myself a drink of AG1s. I do it every single day.

For me, I do it a couple times a day. Why do I use AG1? Number one supports my energy. Number two, digestion. Number three, immunity support. And actually, I feel a different mood when it comes on. My body gets a little bit more calm, yet I've got more energy. I love AG1. One of my commitments is to take AG1 every day in 2025. It's literally on my goal list. So what are your health goals for the year? And I think whatever they are, AG1 can probably help support them. So this new year, try AG1 for yourself. It's the perfect time to start a new healthy habit. AG1 is offering new subscribers a free $76 gift when you sign up. You'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3K2, and five free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out drinkag1.com slash Ed Mylett to get this offer.

That's drinkag1.com slash Ed Mylett to start your new year on a healthier note. So a few weeks ago I wore this cashmere sweater on the show. A lot of you said you loved it. And I got to be honest with you, when I used to try to elevate my style, you know, the brand stuff I'd buy would break the bank with me. I hated spending money on stuff like that. But with Quince, I get high end versatile pieces at prices that you and I can actually afford. Now you can upgrade your lifestyle without spending all your money to do it and

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That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Here's a clip of Ed Mylette appearing on the positive university podcast with host John Gordon. And he shares. It's great information. It's a book like no other in terms of it's not just inspiration, but it's how to strategy. And you love helping people get better, whether it's your podcast,

your Instagram, social media. I mean, you don't have to do this, right? We know that you have a jet. We know that you have a massive fortune and been wildly successful as an entrepreneur in business. And yet here you are coming out with your book and you're doing this event, wanting to give back to people. That's what I love most about you. Like you truly want to change people's lives. I know your heart. Why? I do have to do it. You know, it's where I feel most home, ma'am. And God's been so good to me in my life. And I've had such great mentors that he's brought into my life that, you know, the least I could do is share the little bit that I know.

The older I get, the more I realize what I don't know. I've told you that personally, but I do know what I do know. And there's been a pretty cool journey in life that I've had that I wanted to give and you know, sometimes you wonder whether you're qualified to do it no matter who you are. Something occurred to me, John, I just want to tell you this, everybody else can listen in because we're such, become such good friends. You know, the decision that changed my family forever was my dad getting sober and it was all one more. As he gave it one more try, I have a chapter on that. And when he got sober, he said, I said, daddy, are you going to stay sober forever? He said, I don't know. I'm just going to stay sober for one more day at a time.

And I've used that so many times in my life. When I thought about quitting in business or teams, I was on in sports. I just didn't quit for one more day. But something occurred to me, brother, about two weeks ago. I've already written the book and I was done. I woke up about three o'clock in the morning and I woke Chris standing up and I was in tears and I said, babe, someone helped my dad. She said, what honey? I said, someone helped my dad. She was, what do you mean? I

said, someone helped daddy get sober. That person completely changed my family forever. I'm not on the show with John Gordon. I have an hope. And here's what's crazy. Do you know what qualified that person to help my dad? What? Their mess.

They were a drug addict. They were an alcoholic. The very mess of their lives. The worst things they've done, their total tragedy, the things they're the most ashamed of and embarrassed by is exactly what qualified them to change my family for generations. And I'll never know who they were. But if they're listening, I thank you. And I just want everybody to understand that lesson. This is not something where you have to be perfect in life. In fact, your greatest mess may be the very thing that qualifies you the most to help other people.

Yes, you. That poor person who at one point was somewhere in a bar drinking or doing something they shouldn't have done or doing drugs somewhere, things they're ashamed of, was being prepared to change my family forever. And it just occurred to me two weeks ago how beautiful it is that human beings with all of our flaws in God's infinite wisdom uses these flaws and these mistakes and even these sins we have for the greater good. Not only does he forgive us, but he uses these experiences of our lives to help other people is your skills your gifts and your experiences good bad or indifferent are Preparing you to change other people's lives and your mess I just got goosebumps when you told that story and for you to realize that like that guy Because he took the time to help your dad through his own adversity his own challenges His own mess as you said was able to impact him city, his own challenges, his own mess as you said, was able to impact him that affected your life forever. And now all the people that are reading this book and part of your

family, because everyone who reads your book is now going to be part of your family and everyone who is a part of your community, they've been impacted by you because of your dad and because of that guy's life. Wow. Amazing. That is just, it is, it is mind blowing when you actually think about that. You thought about that guy, like the guy who had to have a life that was a mess at one point. Yes. Yeah. That just blew me away. Just hearing that story. It's been on my mind. I've been wanting to tell you privately for like two weeks. Like, isn't it amazing? I write the entire book and it's just dawned on me. This person's mess is exactly what qualified them to change my entire family. My daughter who you know is going to Clemson will be there with your daughter. Like none

of this happens unless this person was a mess at one point in their life and then just decided, Hey, I don't know what I have to offer you except my love, my care, my experiences, my belief you can be better. And they helped my dad in the worst lowest moments of his life. Talk about a life changing a life, changing a life. Talk about your dad. What was it like to see his transformation to see him change and how that change impacted you? It's why I do this. I believe humans can change because I watched my hero do it. My first 15 years of my life,

my dad lived a particular way that he was not proud of. And then I watched in one decision for the right reasons, him completely transform. And he became, I mean, it's hard to explain how close I was with my dad. I mean, I'm unbelievably close. He knows every he knew everything about me. No matter what I've ever achieved in my life, it would be immediately I got to call dad, I still walk

off stages after big speeches now. And I go, I can't call him. You know, and if you wonder know the power of one more, it's when it's taken from you. Do you want to know how precious it is to have an opportunity for one more power of one more, it's when it's taken from you. Do you wanna know how precious it is to have an opportunity for one more day, one more conversation with your children, one more dance with your wife, one more meeting, one more shot at doing something great.

What if I took it from you? And you know this, because you know how much I talk about my dad all the time. Do you know what I would give for one more talk with my dad? One more round of golf with my dad? Man, I would give you one more talk with my dad, one more round of golf with my dad, man, I would give you almost anything. And so if you do have those people in your life still, what if you started to just think, what if this is my last conversation with Catherine? What is my last conversation with Jade? What is my last podcast? What is this my last book? What

if this is my last speech from an athlete? What is my last game, my last time training. How much more precious and beautiful is it when you only have one more of them? And the truth is you don't know when you only have one more. My dad died pretty young. He was 72 years old. My dad also worked out every day, but at 65 he got cancer and spent the next seven, eight years of his life, chemo, radiation, proton, chemo, radiation, surgery, proton therapy. My dad wasn't expecting that to happen, but thank God he had made that change in his life earlier on that he had a life that he was proud of and that he died with some peace. Thank God. Did you have to forgive him at all from what you saw in the past or did you naturally just see the

change and you were so happy about the change and what he became? Because I'll talk to my kids about who I was early on. They remember, right? I wasn't the greatest dad when I was younger. I struggled with stress and anxiety, fear. I wasn't a person of faith. So I think they saw the bad in me, right? They saw the worst of me early on. They see the best of me now. They see me change and they saw me change. But I'm sure there has to be some forgiveness along the way. I know my kids like we talk about it, like, Hey, I'm sorry. I wish I was a better dad at that point, but I wasn't, but I could be my, you're a world class father. In fact, you're one of the, that makes me emotional. There's just certain men that have even been my life that

long that have become very dear to me like you and their examples You know, I actually think sometimes that I make decisions You know, how would certain people handle this and you're one of those people my dad I think most things in life is caught are caught not taught and I told you this before I Caught forgiveness for my dad and I caught it. I was so proud of him. Now, many times my dad, you know, quiet moment of golf, random too, we'd be arguing about politics or something. And he get into golf cart and he goes, please forgive me for what an idiot I was just randomly.

And I go, dad, you don't even need to say that anymore. Was it wonderful that he asked for it? Yeah, but he didn't, he already had it. And so there's still moments though man, like I'm 51 years old, there's still software running around in my little mind of things my dad did when I was a kid, you know. About three weeks ago Bella was late for school and I was ticked because she has been late recently. And I sent her out the door mad at her. You know, I just said something I shouldn't have said. It wasn't heavy, but I let my daughter leave me having said something harsh to her.

And I remember thinking, well, what if that was my last conversation? And it did flash me back. I remember a day before school, it just, here I am 51 years old. I said something to my mom right before school and I was already shy, already getting bullied at school, already down on myself. And my dad whacked me really good at the front door, really good. And then he kind of kicked me out the door. And I remember I walked to school that entire day crying, just,

why do I come from this family? God, why'd you do this to me? I was so down on myself. And so there's still moments like that that flash back where that scarred me, that scarred me. But at the same time, my dad's behavior was such an example that I caught forgiveness

and I caught who I wanted to become. And it also give myself some grace when I do stupid things like I did with my daughter the other day that hey, how much you can't love your dad more than I love my dad. And so she'll love me too. As long as I continue to grow and get better like my dad did. Exactly. And they remember the times we spent with them, the good and the bad. And I want to in Bella's defense, I just want to say she is a senior.

And so, so, senioritis has set in and she doesn't care about school cause she's no, she's going to college right now. Exactly right. She's got to finish strong though. I keep telling her, we got to finish this thing. Finish what we start.

I know that well, but again, you're a great example for her, great leader for her. And that's what, that's what makes it so special. But your dad clearly, yeah, with it, with his transformation, you know, it's amazing that the lessons you learn. But as you said, we also have pain of the past. We have wounds that we need to heal and we all do. My mom died at 59 years old. And so I'm 51. So I got eight years till I reached my mom's age. I think about that often. And, and I would give anything for one more again, talk about the power of one more. I would give anything for one more. We walk together, we would walk off and on the beach or when I was visiting her in Florida in her neighborhood,

and we would just walk and talk, right? Yeah. I would give anything for that one more. And I think that is what this book shows people. Like don't take it for granted. Give your best every day. Focus on one more. I mean, in terms of the one more message, like, is that why you wrote it? You want people to give everything they have to others? I do, but I want them also to have tools.

You know, like I love Think and Grow Rich. I have it sitting right here. It's like my Bible's number one and probably my next favorite book is thinking, grow rich, you know, the only thing about it though is like, you don't just think and get rich and you don't just think and get happy. There's things you have to do. And I thought, what if I wrote the book about what's the thought and then what's the action and congruency that you have to do to produce a result? Because you know this, you work with a lot of sports teams, you know, you got to produce the result because in life it's about that.

It's about the actual change. So it's, there's a lot in there about that. There's also though, I want people to be reminded that they were born to do something great with their life. I have a whole chapter in there about becoming an impossibility thinker. And the reason I have that chapter in there is I want people to begin to operate out of their imagination and their dreams again, instead of their memory and their history. When we're young, when we're four or five years old, my hallucination is that we're happier for two reasons.

If you're a little four year old, one, you're just most recently with God. So there's a proximity of just the beauty of that. The second thing is you're in your imagination all the time. You're imagining, you're creating, you're dreaming, and then slowly over time that becomes suppressed and you begin to operate out of new software in your brain, which is your history and your memory, and you just replicate the same emotions and the same stuff with a different cast of characters and different circumstances, but it's the same play. It's the same history. It's the same emotions. It replicate the same emotions and the same stuff with a different cast of characters and different circumstances. But it's the same play.

It's the same history. It's the same emotions. It's the same memory. And so it has to, you have to be conscious and say, I'm going to begin to imagine again. I'm going to begin to dream again. And when you open that space, when you have a thought, it creates a space that didn't exist before you had the thought. And I talked pretty deeply about the reticular activating system in your brain in the book, which we could talk about or not today. But the point

is that when you create a thought, it creates a space. And if you repeat the thought over and over again in your imagination, your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. So if you're most familiar with your memory and your history, you will move towards it. If you're most familiar with what you're imagining and dreaming, your mind begins to move towards it and tries to furnish that space with the people, places, things, and ops objects that you need to make it real. That's how life works. That's also a form of prayer. I think thinking is a form of prayer. And I think these imaginations and these dreams you have for your life are not

God playing a joke on you. I think they're sneak peeks, little glimpses, little whispers from God going, this is what's possible. This is what's possible. And he just lets you see it. And it's your job to see it repeatedly, to see it bigger, to see it more clearly. And then he will partner with you on furnishing that space and make it your home eventually. That's the key thing about having a big imagination. This next clip features Ed Mylett appearing on the Learning Leaders show with

host Ryan Hawk. You define leadership. You're right. You are a one more leader. If you help people do things, they would not otherwise accomplish without your presence. Uh, share how that definition gets put into practice on a regular basis in your life. Okay. So that's a fact, by the way, you are not necessary as a leader if they could do it without you. Now, as a leader, I, in my opinion, you have a different position.

Like literally by positioning, you're in front, okay? If you're in front, your view is different. You see things they don't see. Your main job as a leader is to craft a vision and sell a dream that is big enough that the dreams of all of the people you lead and their ambitions can fit inside the one you're selling them. This is not an easy thing to do because you say well their path is limited. Maybe they won't, it's not just money, maybe it's not just achievement, maybe they want more happiness,

maybe they want more contribution. You know I talk about six needs in this book about the six needs humans have which are certainty, uncertainty, love, recognition, growth and contribution. Not everybody has your need to climb. Not everybody has, maybe some want to belong, some want to be loved, some want to grow, some want to contribute, some want stability and certainty, some want variety right and uncertainty. So it's your ability to sell a dream big enough that the dreams and ambitions of all of the people that you lead in your stewardship can fit inside that one you have and that's what a great leader's job is to craft a vision to become what I call evangelical about your mission, about your cause.

I call evangelical about your mission, about your cause. Moreover, most people nowadays, all surveys tell us, want to be involved in something mission and cause driven and not just money driven. They want both. Their ability to get focused and endowed and by the way, mission is what you do, what you stand for and it's also what you stand against. Nothing wrong with having an enemy, nothing wrong about standing against something. So all of these are things I write in great detail about in the book. The book's really interesting man, it's a the application is so broad. It could be for an athlete, a corporate executive, an entrepreneur, a father, a mother because these things as a dad, as a dad, one of my jobs is to be a leader of this family

and part of that is I got to sell a leader of this family and part of that is I got to sell a dream in our family that's big enough that the dreams and ambitions of our entire family can and here's the other thing, repeat it over and over, repetition. Most leaders get tired of hearing their own voice and they want to keep coming up with something new, something new, something new. Leadership is about saying new, so listen to this, it's about saying old things to new people, not new things to old people. Say the same thing over and over again, repeat it. You say it once, you say it three times, you ema, you keep repeating something, all of a sudden people are like, this dude is serious about this, he means it. He's not moving off this. This isn't just another thing and it's usually cause and it's usually big.

And then you've got something special as a leader. Side question. I'm going to get back to the 11 leadership principles. What do you think about the five minutes before you're about to go on stage in front of thousands of people? Wonderful question. I usually, I'm just gonna be candid. I have to tell you the truth. I pray to make it not about me and to make it about them. When you make anything, let's just use a sales call. You're walking into a board meeting. If it's about you, there's a lot of pressure on you. I better say the right sentence. I better get it right.

You've literally taken the frame and put all the heat on you and if you don't teach your people this, you're going to screw this up as well. So it's about them and when I get out of me and into them, the pressure's off me. I need them to feel my intent. I need when I get up there for them to feel my intentions are to make a difference for them. I need when I make that sales call them to feel this intent, walk in the boardroom, doing the interview, doing their annual review. My intent is a huge, huge thing and here's a biggie that no one's ever heard before. It's going to shock you. Any sales call, any interview, any board meeting, any speech I've ever given, I'm not trying to get them to believe what I'm saying. board meeting, any speech I've ever given, I'm not trying to get them to believe what I'm saying.

That's a huge mistake of influence. Influence is not getting people to believe what you're saying. That comes across desperate, low level, and sort of needy. So there's a fine nuance. I want you to all hear me on this. Great leaders, great influencers, great speakers, great salespeople do not try to get you to believe what they're saying. They try to get you to believe they believe what they're saying and that nuance, that subtlety is a very small shift and it comes across much more certain, much more influential. When I'm done with a speech, when I'm done with this podcast, when I'm done with any sales call I ever had in my life, they don't have to believe everything I said to influence them. They have to believe I believe it. If they believe I believe it, I've influenced them. We have all bought things many, many times in our lives

we didn't believe in or didn't even understand. Didn't, haven't you? But you believe they believed it and when I give a great speech, they don't have to go, wow, I believed everything he said. I need them to believe I believed everything I said and that's influence. Wow, I love that. So when you're going up, you know like you're coming from a 100% authentic place of every word I'm gonna say I believe in completely. I'm trying, I'm trying, that's my effort. I mean listen, I give good ones and bad ones you know. I was speaking to another guy, I won't say who, that's a very well-known speaker and we were commiserating the other day about how we beat ourselves up when we're done and I said you know what that is, that's an element of it being about us still.

It's an element of it being about us. So I try to just speak my truth, to be vulnerable, to be authentic, to be transparent. Those are not just phrases for me. I just feel like there's an energy. When you speak in front of a room of people, great speakers need energy from the room, okay, or good speakers. Great speakers pour energy into the room. The best communicators, whether it's a 10 person room or 25,000, pour energy into the room. The best communicators, whether it's a 10 person room or 25,000, pour energy into each individual person in the room and that's a different intention. When I'm done speaking man, I'm usually pretty tired to be honest because I've expended so much energy because again I said earlier,

you're always making people feel something. Last thing I'll say, highest energy wins. Most certain person influences the less certain person every time when there's rapport. So I am trying to be the most certain and highest energy. Highest energy doesn't mean loudest or fastest talking, it's certainty. Certainty is influence. This is the Ed Myron Show.