THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Secrets to Building a Multi-Million Dollar Business Feat. Andy Frisella

Episode Date: October 5, 2024

The Secrets to Building a Multi-Million Dollar Business Revealed! Ever wonder what it really takes to build a multi-million dollar business from scratch? In this powerful mashup episode, I’m joined by Andy Frisella, Dean Graziosi, and Jay Shetty to dig deep into the exact mindset, strategies, and sacrifices it takes to create massive success. These guys don't just talk about winning—they live it, and today, they’re breaking it all down for you. From Andy’s raw journey of building 1st Phorm, to Dean’s obsession with serving others, to Jay’s wisdom on mastering the process—these lessons are what separates the best from the rest. Here’s what you’ll discover: - Andy Frisella opens up about the zero-option mentality that fueled his relentless pursuit of success, even during the 10 years he barely made a dime. - Dean Graziosi shares why it’s crucial to pay the success tax, and why doing the small things well will lead to the biggest breakthroughs in your business and life. - Jay Shetty talks about detaching from outcomes and focusing on perfecting the process, the real key to long-term success. This episode is filled with hard-earned truths, mindset shifts, and actionable steps that will help you build the life and business you’ve always dreamed of. Don’t just think about success—go out and create it! Key Takeaways: - How the zero-option mentality will drive you through the hardest challenges. - The importance of paying the success tax and why mastery of the small things leads to massive success. - Why focusing on the process—not the outcome—is the secret to sustaining growth and fulfillment. It’s time to dive into the real-world strategies behind building a multi-million dollar business. Let’s go! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I've got the great Andy Fersella here with me today. Thanks for being here, brother. Appreciate it, man. Thank you. It's already been a great day spending time with you. Yeah. All right, so let's start out for a little bit. I know how you grew up.

You were kind of an athlete guy, but you were kind of, did you grow up like wealthy, poor, middle class? How'd you grow up? We, I was very fortunate. I grew up a little bit of everything. So my parents were divorced when I was about five years old, and they're both entrepreneurs. My mom owned a VCR repair shop, okay? So they took people's VCR, obviously it's not a very lucrative business. My dad owned a pretty large company, an electrical distributor,

and he started when he was 18 years old by buying the spare parts out of an old guy's garage. And he started a business out of that. So, I, my dad became very successful financially, but you would've never known it, and you still wouldn't know it. He was, he's a regular dude.

You know, if you saw him walking down the street, he's wearing a Harley-Davidson shirt and jean shorts, and you're like, you know, here's this crazy old dude, but he's a really smart guy guy and he's been very successful. My mom and stepdad, we grew up, and that's where I lived. We lived on a gravel road in South County here in Missouri. It was a pretty small house. Like a typical Midwest upbringing.

Yeah, nothing crazy, and they ended up becoming very successful, and then then when I say very successful, very very successful, nine figure company. And then they ended up losing it all. So they went from very poor to very very wealthy to very very poor in a very short amount of time in a span of about 10 years. It was extremely valuable upbringing because my dad, I never knew my dad was successful because he's very

like modest type guy. He lives in a regular house, still to this day. He never drove like crazy cars or had all the, what you see on Instagram or any of this stuff, you know? Maybe I'm overcompensating, I don't know. Dude, you're compensating, because this is unbelievable, just so you know. But you know, we grew up in a situation

where I was able to experience a lot of things. I was able to see what it was like to be very poor. I was able to observe what it took to become wealthy. And I was able to observe what happens when you don't keep your eye on the ball. And I saw a nine-figure company go to a zero-figure company within a matter of 18 months. But you were always around entrepreneurs though. Yes.

So you knew that. That's all I ever knew. Yeah, you and I were talking earlier. We both had baseball card businesses. No, we both started really young. Probably a lot of you have had that bug too or should have that bug. So this just blows my mind, especially what's happened to you the last five or seven years. But I think people see the Ford GTs, they see the Lambos, they see this first form brand you guys have built which is just unbelievable. Thank you.

I mean it really is man, but I'm proud of you. Thank you. I love seeing young stud entrepreneurs. That means a lot man, especially from you. Thank you brother. And, but you start out, so let's go right to the business part, because this is the part that I think people like, they've heard some of this but not all of it,

and I hope today we're gonna get some stuff They haven't heard too, but so you start you and your it's your brother, right? You guys start your first you do a so Chris you met my business partner. That's not my brother. Okay, he's my brother Yeah, but another mother about another no, but and then my actual brother. Okay works with us to your actual brother works, too Yes, okay. So you're how old are you when you open your first or you put a supplement super? Yeah, yeah, something in your door. Yeah, so you're how old are you when you open your first store? You put a supplement superstore? 19. Yeah, a supplement store. Yeah. Okay, and how'd that go on the very beginning? I know a little bit of this. Well, you know, like most of you guys, I wanted to be rich. Yeah. And I

said I was looking for all these things of how to, you know, become wealthy. And so me and Chris like, hey, let's start selling vitamins. We both like to work out. It seemed like it made sense, you know? So we decided we were going to start a business. How'd you get the money to open the first store? We both painted parking lot stripes at night. And it paid like 20 bucks an hour. And back then, like in 1999, 20 bucks an hour

for painting those stripes. Dude, that was like 100 bucks an hour. You know what I mean? So you did that on purpose to accumulate the deposit or whatever to start your first business? Basically, yeah. Wow. And then, so we had 12 grand.

Nobody would rent to us because we were just kids. We had no credit. So we had to pay our year's rent up front, which was a thousand bucks a month. So that took up all our capital. So to finance the build out and then to finance the inventory, we ran it up on credit cards. Wow, cause you couldn't get a loan.

Right. Crap. So you open the store, you've paid the rent. By the way, I ran it up on credit cards. Wow, because you couldn't get a loan. Right. So. So you opened the store, you've paid the rent. By the way, I did that too, which is a blessing because it didn't let me back out. Exactly. Well, and that was the thing. We had nowhere to live.

We didn't have anything. We had to live in the store. You lived in the store. Yeah. So we had a couch that we got from my dad, which was a love seat. And then we had a mattress that we got from a Salvation Army that was in the same center, Salvation Army retail store and

we slept at the back of the store and we thought it was cool you know we thought it was fun like it was we were 19 we had a business you know we freaking awesome yeah we thought it was cool like everybody's like oh man that must have sucked no honestly like it was some of the best times you know what's funny because us you're not walking around here I was looking at your cars and we're talking about our lives now and stuff and like honestly, I mean it sounds like I'm going back like, you know, I'm an old man time of the old days, but I loved those times. I loved those hard times. I loved the obsession. I loved the struggle with it. Did you, so you're living in the store, so that means that

tells me probably you didn't have like a monster first year. Oh no, our first day we had, our first day we sold seven bucks. Yeah, seven bucks. Our second day we sold zero. Our third day we sold 22 bucks and it went like that for literally years where we would have days of no sales. We didn't have money to advertise so the only way we could get people in was literally one at a time and then help create the word of mouth off of those one-off transactions. Did you make any money the first year? Oh, no, I didn't make any money. It took me, the first three years, I got zero pay.

Zero, zero pay. Not- Wait, three years? Three years. So how'd you, I mean I know you're living there, but how do you eat? Well, we worked other jobs, so we both bartended at night and worked security at bars at night and then worked at gyms. So we worked other jobs, so we both bartended at night and worked security at bars at night, and then worked at gyms. So we've worked other jobs, so one of us worked at the store, and the other one would go work at the other job and this and that, and then we kind of just pulled the money.

And Chris and I are partners on every business that we own still because of this. He's a good dude, I met him. Yeah, he's awesome. You know what, that's a lesson though, like so many young people out there that are entrepreneurs is like, what sacrifices are you willing to make?

It's almost like the first thing you sacrifice is your dream. So when it's not working, you're broke, you sacrifice your dream, and I worked extra jobs too. It didn't even occur to you that that was that big of a deal. I'm gonna make this thing work. Yeah, I call it zero option mentality. You should always try to cultivate. In that time, I literally had zero options.

I didn't have a degree, which I feel is less important now for people on, yeah, it's less important now. But 15, 20 years ago, it was still a big deal. So I didn't have a degree, I didn't have any place to go work, my dad didn't have his company anymore, I didn't have a backup plan, I had to make it work. Or otherwise I was gonna be digging ditches. And I didn't wanna dig ditches.

And if you're out there digging ditches, I feel you're paying, because I've done that before. And if I had to do it, I would do it again, but I don't wanna go back. You had three years, no money though. Yeah, the next seven years, the most I made in a month was $695. So for 10 years, I never made more than $695 in a month.

What? Yeah. 10 years of doing the business, you're making $700 a month, is that what you just said? Yeah. Oh my God. The 11th year I made 45 grand, the 12th year I made 180 and then it went up. Then it went up.

Yeah. It's interesting, most people, their businesses, they make all these deposits, you know, they start, and then they withdraw all of it too soon, they never get to collect. Well, and that's the thing, you know, Chris and I kinda got in that routine of living below our means.

Me too. So we were able to continually put money in and put money in and put money in and put money in. There was a number of years where we had employees that made much more money than us. We were paying other people in our company way more than we were paying ourselves. And that's what you have to do.

It's what do you wanna invest and what are you willing to give? And I agree with you, people wanna get paid too soon, they wanna live the life too soon. Way too soon. And this is why I stopped posting a lot of my personal, I used to post all my cars on Instagram, I stopped posting it, and I still post them sometimes. Me too.

But the reason I stopped was because I started realizing that I'm hurting younger entrepreneurs in a way where they think they need to be living that now, when in reality they should be pulling in the expenses, you know, battening the hatches so to speak. Well here's how true that is, so both of us. So the first thing I asked them, because here's how much I believe that too, it's like all I did when I was young I sacrificed, by the way, 10 years is awesome because most people don't have that in them.

They don't have that sacrifice work yet. I didn't have a choice. Right. Yeah. You know what? I didn't either. Now that I think about it. Right. But the first thing I asked them is I walked in the... I didn't have a choice. Right. Yeah. You know what? I didn't either. Now that I think about it.

Right. But the first thing I asked him as I walked in here and I was looking through all these cars, it's the first thing I asked you, I said, do you own these? Yeah. And he said, yeah, I do. I got titled to all of them, right? And that's a big deal to me because we both, same model, right? Same struggle, same young, same extra jobs.

But what we were both doing, we weren't interested when we were young at looking like we were rich when we weren't. We just stacked it away, stacked it away, stacked it away. You see my house is my cars, all of them are paid for. My jet paid for, all of them paid for. Same with this guy. I'm trying to get on that level, that jet level. You're on that level.

You know you're on that level. So you got the business, it finally turns around, but during that time, just want people to hear the back story too, so during that time, you and I were just talking too. He has a real life, like we both have real lives. So stuff happened, right? And you struggle with different things too, but tell him a little bit about,. He has a real life, like we both have real lives. So stuff happened, right? And you struggle with different things too.

But tell them a little bit about, so you're a young dude, you got this business, you're working multiple jobs, you're living at your place of business, right? Probably everyone in your family thinks you're out of your mind. Oh dude, yeah. Trust me.

My dad was the only person in my life that has never told me. Not the only person that believed in me. He's the only person that never told me I was wrong like for doing it. That's crazy. Yeah, and that's why I don't have a lot of sympathy for people when they're like,

oh, my so and so is telling me this and that. I said, look dude, nobody's gonna believe in you until you've done something. Have you done anything to make people believe in you? You know, you don't just get people to believe in you, you've got to do shit. You know? And you know, that's the way it is. And my dad, my dad had done that, so he knew that it could be done. He knew the grind. But 10 years is a long grind, you know what I mean? It's totally worth it. But like, what do you have? Like, I always say this all the time, is your will

to win for sale, right? Like, most people can be bought, like enough failure, they'll buy their dream out. They'll buy them out, they'll quit. You couldn't have been bought all those years. You had no money being made. No, and I still couldn't. I've had nine figure buyout offers from our companies, three of them.

And I won't do it because I know what we can do. And now, like I said before, my purpose has changed. My purpose isn't now, let's buy all this cool shit and be a baller like it used to be when I was younger. Now it's I want my guys, I want my team, I want my people to succeed and I know what we can create on the back end and so I don't want to sell that out. Yeah, we both want you to stack a bunch of money away. We both want you to have great stuff like this and live all that but we both are just literally talking off camera saying what endures is when you shift from that stuff to wanting to serve

other people because that like never burns out. And you know what's funny about that too is I've found that when you switch your focus to other people your income goes up anyway. Big time. Right. It actually takes some pressure off you oddly, right? It's like I don't know how to explain it but it takes some pressure off you. Go back a little bit in the beginning, I just want to talk about this because we were talking

about it, I didn't even notice it but you pointed to your face and you said hey I've had stuff happen man, like not all this was just business. Because a lot of you that are watching this too, your business isn't where you'd like it to be maybe, or your life isn't. Stuff happens outside of business that can distract us too, right? There's issues with your family, there's health, there's all kinds of stuff that happens

outside your business too. So, tell them, how'd you get these scars? What happened? So, when I was in college, like we said, we had to work other jobs while we, and we were also going to school, by the way, I did all this, but I was walking home from one of my jobs and I was walking home with a girl

that I was good friends with and, I ended up getting stabbed, the long story, the short story of it. I got an altercation, this dude, she was Mexican, and this guy was calling her some racial slurs, and I'm a young testosterone-filled dude, you know, I'm not gonna deal with that. It's not my personality to deal with that kind of shit

anyway. You know, I'm an athlete like you, and you know how athletes are, like dude, it's gonna get physical. Yeah, it's gonna be about physical. Yeah, and we got in an an argument and I turned my back and when I turned my back he stabbed me and he stabbed me here and he stabbed me here, here

and in my back and I had 160 stitches in my face. Still no feeling in this side of my face at all. The last thing I remember on the way to the hospital was the EMT on the radio saying, I don't know how to stop the bleeding. And I'm thinking in my head, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna die for sure. Because it was like what you see in the movie,

like blood was squirting out. Yeah, so basically. That's incredible. Yeah, so that was the easy part of it. The hard part of it was what happened after that. My face was very swollen. It was very deformed. It looks really good now because it's been 15 years since it happened But I worked retail and I had people coming in to the retail store every day and they and they would do one of two things They would either look at the floor when they talked to me because they didn't want to stare at my face Or they would say dude what happened to your fucking face?

I'm like, I'm getting this all the time, and really honestly, I would have other people say that to me than look at the floor. Like you know how like, when you see someone who's got a handicap or they have a disability, our tendency is to not want to stare, so we overcompensate by looking away. Don't do that, because it makes people feel really shitty.

And I know that from experience. But anyway, I went through very bad depression. My face was messed up, I was a young man, I thought my life was over, I thought my business wasn't succeeding. I started thinking about like, no woman's gonna ever wanna date me, my life is over type of stuff.

And I built it into this big deal. I became very depressed and to a level of suicidal on a regular basis. I actually was able to come out of that in about 10 minutes time. I was walking through a grocery store and I was pushing my cart down the aisle and I came to the end of the aisle and I hit another cart. And I looked over at the person who ran in the cart and I looked at him and I couldn't tell

if it was a man or a woman because they were so badly burned. Like their hands, their face, completely unrecognizable of a man or a woman. And I looked up, and it was a woman by the way, and she looked at me, and she looked right at my face, and she goes, man what the fuck happened to your face? And dude, I like start dying laughing. Because she knows what I've been through,

and I know what she's been through. And it turns out what happened was, she had been in a plane crash, and her whole family had been killed in plane crash She was the only person to survive and we stand we sat there and we talked for like 10-15 minutes You know about what had happened to her what had happened to me and we had a good laugh about it We love we like laughed at other people like how they were so dumb for like looking at the floor like all the stuff We just talked about yeah, and it and it changed my perspective immediately. I went from feeling bad, I went from being depressed,

I went from having all these struggles to saying, you know what, this is not bad. Like, this is not even, this is a good thing. And so I chose to start seeing it as something that would eventually teach me something. And it turns out, it ended up being really good for business because back then when Chris and I would go to trade shows, nobody knew who we were, all right?

Okay. After I got stabbed and my face was swollen and I had scars all over it, I would talk to people and they would remember me. Oh my God. Yeah, so I would go to these trade shows and people would be like, they'd be like, oh hey, you know those guys

from something with Superstore, and they'd be like, no, we don't know those. No, no, you know Andy, they do with the scars on his face. No way. Yeah, and so what happened was people started remembering us because of it. Yeah, now they know Andy the multi-millionaire, but then it was Andy that did with the scars on his face.

But you know what? When you try so hard to stand out, and it's important in business to stand out and be memorable, I was blessed with an opportunity to make me naturally memorable. And so it ended up serving me, and that's how to businesses to stand out and be memorable. I was blessed with an opportunity to make me naturally memorable. And so it ended up serving me and that's how I see it now. I actually see it as one of the best things that ever happened. I believe that too.

By the way, that's probably my favorite story I've ever had on the show. Right there. That's probably my favorite story. And let me tell you the reason why. First off, it's not the events that happened to us. It's the meaning we attach to the events, right? Because events happen to everybody and so eventually what you did, eventually, is you attached a new attach to the events, right? Because events happen to everybody, and so eventually what you did, eventually, is you attached a new meaning to the event.

It served you. It happened for you, not to you. Yes, and it took that interaction, and I believe God put that interaction. I mean, that was not a coincidence. No way. No way. Of all the people walking in the world, your cart bumps into someone that's... No, that saved me, man.

That's crazy. And dude, I... You know, you and I, we have literally millions of conversations, right, over the course of your career. You've had a million conversations with a million different people. I can definitively say that that conversation was the most impactful conversation. Crazy. And it was a random chance encounter, and it was the most powerful conversation that I've ever had in my life, just because it made me understand that A,

things could be way worse, and B, no matter how bad things are, there's always good that can come of them. Amen, I believe that totally. Totally, dude, and like people, when I say that, I always get a lot of pushback. They'll be like, well, what about these kids that die from cancer. Well. Yeah, that's terrible, and I agree There's not much good that comes from that right but the one thing that is good that comes from those kind of situations

Is that we can choose to? Appreciate our own mortality and and and learn how to appreciate the people in our lives while we have them because I feel like so Many people they live for this thing that doesn't exist because we're ambitious, right? We always want more. We always want to do more. We always want to accomplish more. And so for that reason, and I know you've probably had this situation before, you start

neglecting the now for this. All the time. All the time. I struggle with that now. I still do it. I do too. It's one of the things. I'm so ambitious. I'm so driven. It's like, hey, be present right now.

But I promise, and I think you'll agree with me, that being able to be ambitious and also be present is extremely important because if you're always ambitious and you're not, like you guys who are young right now and you're not where you wanna be and you think, oh, I wanna be a millionaire, whenever I make this much money, I'll be this. You won't. That's not what's gonna define you.

What's gonna define you is the relationships that you're having now, and appreciating those, and those will help build you into that. But you know how people, like, you used to think before you had any money, or you had any success, you probably thought, man, once I get here, it'll be different. Once I get here, it'll be this.

That was my constant conversation. Once I get there, then I'll relax and enjoy it. Once I get there, then I'll have fun. And then I'm like, there was never this place. There was never. And that's the difference, you and I were talking earlier, I'm really enjoying this, but it's the difference for me of being successful and being fulfilled, right?

You can have all the success and not be fulfilled, but if you can be present now, you can be fulfilled. And here's the one thing, I'll tell you, if you can be happy where you are now, you're really gonna be happy once these other things come, but if you're not happy now, it's gonna accelerate the problems. It does.

Yeah, and amplify. We have friends that will see that. It's like they're more unhappy, they're more stressed, they're more depressed. It's funny that we're talking about this because people that knew you and I were meeting, right? They're like, oh, it's the clash of the alpha males, you know? And then you and I meet each other.

And it's interesting because I think when you see someone who's built a great life or like in your case, like they built a big dude, strong dude, lots of confidence, we're giving people advice. I think they go, these are super confident people, right? And the truth is, I think when you see someone like us that way, I think when go these are super confident people right and the truth is I think when you see someone like us that way I think when you look at us now, you know, these are people had to come from a further place Like we're both introverted. Yeah, we're both shy We both probably have I bet you that both of us have a more natural dose of insecurity than a normal person

There's no question like that's why we're so driven. That's why we're driven I had to figure out and I want those either here's I had to figure out youngs like, okay I know how I see it. Not at's not a bad thing. Not at all. So people here are insecure and they automatically attach, like they take it as a dig because they've heard it like in dating, oh, you're jealous because you're insecure. Well, yeah, maybe, but I'm also driven and I'm also wanting to win and I also have something to prove and that's a great thing. That's another example of taking something that would normally be a negative and turning,

it's alchemy, right? It's taking something and turning it into something that is valuable. I agree. And you know, being insecure, and I say this a lot on my podcast because people don't like talk about it. Because like a lot of people in our position who are out there making content for people, their egos are too big to admit it. Right.

I'm not, dude. I tell you right now. Me too. I got a ton of shit to prove. Me too. And I'm going to fucking prove it. Me too. And I'm gonna fucking prove it. Me too. And if that's how you feel, you've got all your family, you've got all your friends, and they're telling you you can't do it, you can't do this, and you want to prove them

wrong, good. That's right, that is good. That's a good thing. Don't you think my insecurities, because I'm so wanting to be this other version of me, the best version of me, and I compare it to who I am now, that makes me insecure. I don't want to be comfortable with me. I don't want to think I've got it all figured out. Of course.

What's good about comfort, we were just talking about this over here. You know, you accomplish this, this, this. You get the houses, you get the jet, you get the cars, you get the life, you get the company, and then what? And then what? And so.

And what have you and I both determined the then what is? To serve other people. You got it. Right, and that's, people are always like, and I'm sure they're asking you, they're like, why are you doing all this? Why are you making this content? You're a multimillionaire, you've got all these things.

You don't have to do that because it's a call, it's a calling, like people say in faith, right, Vaughn? In faith, all right? It's a calling. Like I have, I feel an obligation to, so I grew up with an extremely intelligent, driven, amazing father. And like dude, and if people would have seen how he raised me, they would have said that

he was probably abusive because dude, he was hard man. But here's the deal. I want people to, my dad prepared me for the reality. And I want people to be prepared too because I feel like the younger generation, a lot of the people watching right now are not taught the truth. They're taught that everybody wins, everybody's special, everybody is probably gonna end up being a multimillionaire,

everybody loves you, and that's not the truth. It's the furthest thing from the truth. So they get taught this thing, they get taught this thing, I mean they don't even keep score now in kids' games. They get taught this thing up until they're 20 years old and then they're kicked out in the real world. And then what happens? The real world stops them.

More and more I think that's why this generation's having a harder time. There's more and more people that wanna be entrepreneurs, that wanna be successful, that see it more than ever, but their wiring needs to change. You need to be a little harder, a little tougher, a little more in love with the grind, a little bit harder working on yourself. And also, you gotta work like it's gonna happen now,

but you gotta be patient as hell. Like it took you 10 years, right? I didn't really make any real money, save any real money for over a decade either, right? By the way, on that, so it just reminded me of something. You see this big old buff stud dude here, but you've written a couple, I just wanna throw this out there.

You've written a couple children's books. And what we were just talking about, I was reading, it's Otis and Charlie Play to Win, right? Part of that book is it's about competing and it's teaching kids that not everybody gets a trophy, right, isn't that part of that book? So those of you that have young kids, you should get them involved with some of the books

this dude's written, tell them about that. That's why we wrote the books. I wrote them with Vaughn, who's my co-host on the podcast. And our purpose of what we do, and while we do monetize some things, our purpose of doing this was not to, oh, let's just make more money. Our purpose of doing this was to help reverse

what is being taught to this generation. When you and I grew up, we were both athletes, we were taught to fucking win. And I don't even know if I can curse on this show. You can curse on this show, it's fine. But we were taught to win. We were taught to go out, do our best, and win and not feel bad about it.

Be a good sport, but don't feel bad about it. Now these kids are taught that winning is wrong, and it's not okay. And if you win, you should feel bad about it. Be a good sport, but don't feel bad about it. Now these kids are taught that winning is wrong, and it's not okay. And if you win, you should feel bad. You could paint the ideal picture all you want, but that's not reality. And my goal with the books, and this is why I haven't written an adult book,

my goal is to make an impact. And I feel like if we're gonna make an impact, we've gotta start with the youngest generation. How do they get the books? Amazon? Yeah, it's Amazon. Otis and Charlie. We were both talking about, it just occurred to me when you said, it's like we're talking about all this rewiring, you know, people in their 20s and 30s and 40s and 50s need to go through. I think it's awesome that you're starting to grab them when they're two, three, four, five, six, seven years old. Well, and a lot of parents would DM me and

they've said, man, I wish I could teach my kids all this stuff. They want their kids to know this stuff, but they don't know how to teach it. So that was the book. The book is a tool for parents that want to teach their kids the reality, but don't know exactly how. They realize something is off with what they've been taught,

and it's not the actual truth. I mean, what are we taught? We're taught this. Go to school, get a degree, get a job, with what they've been taught, and it's not the actual truth. I mean, what are we taught? We're taught this. Go to school, get a degree, get a job, and eventually you'll have enough money to retire, which you won't, by the way. You will not, right?

And they don't tell you that you're gonna be in debt your whole life, and the real truth is this. Go to school, get a degree, get a job, get yourself a debt so that you're required to work for somebody your whole life. You have to work. It's a human resource. That system is designed to squeeze the juice out of.

That's exactly, and by the way, that's one of my goals is that we start to get more entrepreneurship in colleges. If they're gonna have to go, because the first day of college they ought to go, hey look, here's what your life is likely to be. You're gonna come out here with a couple hundred grand of debt, you're gonna end up at 50 years old, you're not gonna have 50,000 bucks saved, you're gonna

be in debt and divorced at least once. That's literally the program you're on, right? Yeah. It's like someone ought to tell you that upfront, so when you sign up for it, I'd rather sign up for the program where I go through four, five, ten years of struggle as an entrepreneur and on the other side, I'm in my man cave like this and helping other people, right? That's the program I want to be on. Well, even if you work inside of a company, the values of being an entrepreneur still will help you become successful and valuable.

Because there's a lot of people out there watching that might not ever own their own company. But maybe they work inside of a company that has a nice upside. You got it. There's some equity in there, something you could do. So, those people still,

if they learn the skills of entrepreneurship, they can become valuable within a system. 100%. You know what I mean? And by the way, eventually have your eye on starting your own deal. Exactly. My advice, people say, do I have to start a business? No, but you better be somewhere where there's equity or ownership for you eventually.

Yeah. And there's no play for that. I don't have any wealthy friends who get a W-2 for 50 years of their life. Eventually you got to get a 1099. Eventually, you got to be able to sell something, make something, or earn something. That's at least how I feel. No, I agree. I agree.

I think that, you know, there's, there, I do believe, and some people don't believe this, but I do believe that entrepreneurship is somewhat a skill. I feel like- So do I. I feel like certain people have it it and not everybody can have it. Now that makes people upset when I say that because I always get bad emails. They say, oh, well, I could be an entrepreneur. Maybe you can.

But like my friend Gary Vaynerchuk, he puts it this way. Everybody can go play basketball, but not everybody's going to be LeBron James. I agree with that. OK. And I do too. I agree with that too. Because I think it's the, I don't think it's a, in my mind. So what do you say to people who may not be entrepreneurs, but have, they work within a company that has opportunity?

I think that's what I'm saying. I think as long as you work within a company where there's a chance for you to have some equity, some ownership, something that's your own, your own space, that doesn't require that, right? Another part of it is too, is like, you have to be honest with yourself. I don't think it's a capacity issue.

I think it's a threshold of pain issue, a desire issue, a work ethic issue, and not everybody is wired for that because they're passionate about other things. They're more passionate about being charitable, or they're more passionate about doing stuff with kids. There may be just things you do that your passion isn't being an entrepreneur.

I think if your passion's to be an entrepreneur, like you and I had this calling when we were kids. I was so, I sold baseball cards, I sold snow cones, I sold light bulbs door to door. Dude, I mean. And you're an athlete, like you always wanted to be, here's what I just really think. I think, I just always wanted to be free.

I always wanted to, you and I were just talking, we literally cut each other off. We're like, it's not about the money, it's about this. I want it. And we said at the same time, win. Yeah. We literally said the same thing. There's this edge, this compete, this desire level, right?

And like, if you feel that, I think you could be an entrepreneur. If you want to go through heat, time, pain, stress, everything. I think you have to, I don't think you even have to endure it. I think you have to fucking want it. I think you have to want it. Yeah, like, like I want,

This is good. Look, people don't get people people think this is wrong but it's not wrong it's right I want to wipe the fucking earth of my competition yep I want their houses to burn down I want them to do zero sales. I want to win. And not just win, but dominate. And when I say that, do I literally want their houses to burn down? Of course not. But that's a metaphor for how bad I want to win. You want to dominate.

You don't want to just win, you want to dominate. And if you don't have that killer instinct in you, to where like when somebody competes with you, it makes you angry and you're like, I get offended. Like how dare you think you're going to compete with you're like like I get offended like how dare you Think you're going to compete with me. I can feel it. You know say it like you just switched again. Yeah, and I you're scaring me Yeah, no I think I think I'm one of the old I think you feel that and I think other people feel that yeah

But I don't think they say it and so like for that reason when I say it sounds crazy It doesn't sound crazy doesn't sounds crazy someone like me, but I want to say one thing about it I think you have this capacity and I'm not just bragging on you here That reason, when I say it, it sounds crazy. It doesn't sound crazy. It doesn't sound crazy to someone like me. But I want to say one thing about it. I think you have this capacity, and I'm not just bragging on you here. I think you have this capacity, which is, I don't know anybody else in this space that does this.

You have this way of saying, because I have also one, right? Like one rare thing about both of us that are in this space, like we both have real businesses, are really wealthy, and have really done the stuff we're telling you. And we're still doing it.

And we're still doing it. Like we're not making this up as we go along. This isn't an instant... This isn't a make money quick scheme for us. No, no, no, no. This is our lifestyle. It's not theory. This show is sponsored by Airbnb. Ed Mylett here. This year alone, I've been in Chicago, Vegas, Orlando, New Orleans, Dallas. I've been in 40 states, actually. I mean, just everywhere.

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Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. And this gentleman to my left, I've been working on getting on my program for some time. So I know all of you certainly recognize his face and more and more of you in the social media community are beginning to recognize his message. And so this is Dean Graziosi. Dean is a real estate

guru, was the king of the infomercial for a very long time and still is. Best selling author and I call him kind of a peak performance expert and that's why I wanted you here today. So thank you for being here, brother. That's good to be here, man. I love what you're doing too, seriously. Thank you.

You're making an impact. Earlier you described collision shop, real estate, infomercial, you had these different things going on. Would you recommend that to an entrepreneur who's listening to this now or do you believe they should be immersed in one area? Or do you think it doesn't matter? No, I think we live in a shallow world.

I think shallow meaning, especially a new generation who grew up going through a stream, right? So what used to be hours went to minutes and now it's seconds, right? If something doesn't catch you in a second. And I feel like a lot of people want that next level, which is great, everybody should, but we dabble in each one,

and we don't see enough spark, excitement, or light, so we back out and go to the next one. It's like they're looking for the magic money machine, and they're in one car, and they're like, this car might work, oh, that car looks good. Then we jump out in the next one, and we jump out in the next one.

So I would say, even though I'm 50 this year, so I've had different lives, I went deep on all of them. My collision shop was the best in town. That's why I landed Enterprise and Hertz rental car. And so I'm gonna give it, you mind if I give three lessons? Give it please. Maybe two or three, I just said three,

but it's two or three I'm thinking in my head. One is no matter what you're doing, even if you hate it, realize it's temporary and be amazing at it. I sat down with John Paul DeGiorgio who started Patron and Sassoon. And he said he hated- Oh, his names come to me a couple times this week

going on adventures. Yeah, he said he hated when he had a janitorial job when he was a kid. But he said, man, it was my job. I cleaned every, I used to, the boss came to him he said, man, it was my job, I cleaned every, I used to, the boss came to him and said, man, I lifted up the desk, you cleaned under the desk. He's like, the guy thought I loved the job, I hated it,

I just did it the best, and I realized, one of my biggest, my first big real, my first real estate deal did over a million bucks. True story, I was fixing a guy's car, and I'm in the collision shop, I'm gonna be completely transparent, I hated the collision shop. I ended up be completely transparent. I hated the collision shop. I ended up being the only painter because I got good at it.

So every night when everybody left, I'd paint for three hours, the ventilation wasn't good, I'd have headaches. I hated every inch of it, but you'd never know. If you came in, you'd be like, that guy loves being in the collision shop. I knew it was temporary. Because don't think I'm just gonna slub through this job and then my magic will come.

You'll be screwed, you'll stay there because how you do one thing is how you do everything. So I'm literally in the collision shop. I have this guy, he comes down, he's like, my god, my car looks great, thank you so much. We get talking, come kind of friends really quick, and he says, what are you up to? I'm like, well, I'm doing this,

but I'm working on my day job. My night job is real estate. I'm gonna take real estate to a whole nother level. He's like, what do you got going on? At that time, I was working on my day job, my night job is real estate. I'm gonna take real estate to a whole nother level. He's like, what do you got going on? At that time I was working on a deal for $180,000 to buy an old vineyard. And I didn't have the money. I scraped up every credit card I had.

I came up with like 45 grand. The seller agreed to sell it to me for half down and half in two years. I needed 45 grand. I tell this guy the story, I said, but I'm gonna get it. He goes, yeah, you're gonna get it because I'm going home to get it for you. Oh my gosh now. What if I was like, I hate closing Yeah, here's your keys. Yeah, I

Made a million dollars on that deal the first one ever documented. I sold that property I killed it on that property killed it Well, all the neighbors all the neighbors didn't want me to build on the property and I was fighting them and then I realized Wow, what if I sell it to him? So I sold them all a piece around and I crushed it. I killed it. So that's the first thing. So no matter what you're doing, find a way to be enthusiastic knowing that maybe the universe, God, whatever you believe is putting you through your trial run to deserve that.

And then the next thing, I love this phrase I've been saying for about six months, success tax. You know what I love about that? Somebody told me, I didn't make it up, but I found my own version of it. It's like, we all want to make more money. We all want to feel significance, abundance, freedom, but most people aren't willing to pay it.

So a great analogy I've been using is, if you're in a band and you play the guitar and you write songs, it would be amazing to be at Madison Square Garden, 50,000 people singing your song, you're out in the front of the stage, I mean, could anything be more euphoric, right? But, everybody would want that,

but who's willing to play the guitar when no one's watching until your hands hurt? Who's willing to pack up an old shitty van that barely runs and drive to dive bar after dive bar, playing where people are booing you? Most people aren't willing to put in the success tax to pay, and I said, what if you just visualized, whether you believe in God, whatever you believe in,

that there's an auditor, a success auditor, and they go, okay, Ed started with shit, lives in a ghetto, okay, but he's still positive every day. Wow, he's still respectful. Wow, he tried that first business, and his first partner screwed him over, took all the money and left. Wow, he still got up the next day,

still inspiring other people, still not a jerk. Check, check. What if you gotta check off 10 boxes before you get to the other side? Because once you get to the other side, it opens up like Ed's amazing backyard. There's not many people playing at that level. Like everybody thinks it's so competitive up here.

It's not, because you guys are all fighting over crumbs and I don't mean that disrespectfully. But all I'm saying is when you said, put in the success tax and know you're gonna fail, know it's gonna go sideways, but it's worth it. And those two things combined, love what you do, and put in the success tax, and then all of a sudden, because I've been framing more than ever the success tax,

when shit goes sideways, I'm like, man, I just checked another box. I just checked another box, and all of a sudden, I found a way to be enthusiastic. That is a couple of my favorite things I've ever heard, honestly. That's one of my couple things for me and for me even because I'm at that place too, you know like. What's next?

You know and I'm checking some boxes right now. Yeah. I'm checking some boxes. Man, that's so so good. You talk a little bit about, there's this great story you have, this is so good for people by the way and thank you for being so generous. Oh, my pleasure, my pleasure. Part of that success tax though,

you said something earlier about playing at this high level and I've heard you say this and I just, I didn't learn this until too late, not too late, I learned it later in life. And that is that, my max out strategy, but you might as well play big because you say something so powerful about this, elaborate on this, the stress level's kind of the same and you're playing for something

small or if you're going for something big people think man I don't want to go for the big old thing because the stress it's actually the same stress so would you elaborate on that? No it's like if you want more success get bigger problems it's simple as that sounds like oh Dean that was so enlightening no it is because here's this is, the lowest form. I just started realizing I want bigger problems because I remember the stress of my first real estate deal where I made probably five grand, right?

Worked my ass off, was stressing, worried that the town didn't want to give me a permit and then the seller was falling through and I was running out of money. It was so stressful. And then I remember, you know, a couple months ago, I signed a 18 million dollar deal. And there was this same exact amount of stress.

It doesn't matter. And again, I say that, I said I'd judge myself. I don't ever want to come across pretentious or saying, oh, look at me with my 18 million dollar deal. I don't mean that. I just want you to know that the stress you feel to pay your bills or get ahead, it's the same stress whether you're making 10, 100,

10 million or 100 million a year, it feels the same. So if it feels the same, then why not avoid lower end problems so you can spend time solving bigger ones? I mean, I'm in a phase in my life, I'm not shitting you. If I order medium rare steak at a restaurant and they bring me well done chicken, I just eat it. Who gives a shit?

So do I. The same way it's so. Somebody cuts me off in traffic and then flips me off, I'm like wow, they need bigger problems. Traffic is bugging you that much? You'll never be successful, so know that. If you're annoyed because a friend doesn't ask you to go to the mall or someone cuts you off in traffic

or you think a friend offended you or you think a coworker's, or someone cut you off in traffic, or you think a friend offended you, or you think a coworker's being a little rude, then you're screwed because you're worrying about the wrong things. Spend that energy on solving big problems, and you accomplish big things. This is massively valuable for people to hear, because it's like there's someone listening

right now running a gym. The same stress level will be when you have 20 of them. If you can scale it, you should. If you're buying two unit buildings, you should be doing that, but if you can buy 20s, the stress level's gonna be the same. This is an absolute fact, I've learned it in business. My stress level when I had 10 agents in my agency,

compared to having 30 or 40,000 is the same, it's just stress. It's better to be going bigger, and you have to sell a big enough dream in your business that the dreams of everybody associated with you can fit inside the one you're selling. You entrepreneurs, you fathers, you mothers, sell a big dream so that everyone's dreams associated, vendors, clients, recruits, agents, employees, can fit inside that sucker.

And what you're talking about these big problems, tell them the story. This is so profound. I want you to illustrate this point one more time. Tell them the story about you're paying the guy to cut your grass and your dad sees you. Wow, that's funny. You did do your research. Cool stuff, man. So I was, my first apartment house,

it was an old rundown mansion. Massive lesson here, everybody. It was an old rundown apartment, a mansion, like, I mean, beat up, old big house. And I ended up getting the house for no money down, and I converted it into 10 apartments. So what was cool is I'd fix one up, I was living in it while I fixed it,

and then as soon as it was done I'd rent it and I'd move in one not done. But I got through all 10 of them. So now I have this 10 unit apartment house, it's doing great for me, I'm 19, 20 years old, it's bringing me in five grand a month net-net, which was a gazillion dollars, because now I'm living for free,

and plus it's building value, so I got no money down, refinanced, I pulled some cash out, I used that money to go into next one. Long story short, I had a huge lawn. So every Saturday, because my dad was born during the depression, my dad grew up with, if you can do it yourself, you don't pay anybody, right?

So every Saturday I'd spend five hours, I had a massive lawn, I'd mow, I have allergies, so my eyes would tear and I'm weed whacking, the shit hits your legs, and it's just, and then one day I realized, wow, I'm mowing my lawn a whole day, I hire the kid down the street for 50 bucks to mow my lawn, and he's mowing the lawn, my dad pulls in.

True story, zero exaggeration, I tell it to my dad all the time, he's like, lawn, my dad pulls in. True story, zero exaggeration. I tell it to my dad all the time, he's like sorry, I was wrong. My dad pulls in, he goes, and this is how my dad talks to me, whether you think it's true or not, he goes, Mr. Big Shot, you finally went too far. You're so freaking big now

that you're gonna pay someone to mow your lawn when you can do it. And he got so mad that he left and he hit the gas and it was gravel driveway and he dented the shit out of the side of my car. It was just like, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot. And I'm like, ah, and he left and he hit the gas, and it was gravel driveway, and he dented the shit out of the side of my car. It was just like, tum, tum, tum, tum, tum. And I'm like, oh, and he left,

and maybe he gave me the finger when he was leaving or something like that. That's my dad, he's got an Italian hot head, right? And he left, and it was so profound that I knew at that moment I was onto something. I really did. I'd love to say it was this epiphany, and the sky opened up,

and I was like, wow, my dad still struggles. And what I realized, and this is what I want to share with you, is I realized an ROI on my time. At that time, I had 15 apartments, I had two houses being built, I had a collision shop and a used car dealership. If I went down to the used car dealership and sold one car, I probably netted about two grand a car back then.

I sold lower end cars. So in that day, without mowing the lawn, if I sold one car, it cost me 50 to mow the lawn, I made two grand. Or if I drove around that day and found my next apartment house, could be tens of thousands of dollars. And it just hit me, it was so profound at that moment

that I'm gonna start equating things I do with an ROI. It's like, if I, and the great part is if you keep noodling it, it doesn't matter if something costs you five hundred dollars an hour if you're working in your unique ability You can make ten grand an hour Still pay someone to do it and you just chip away like an onion peeling back an onion to stop doing the stuff that doesn't Move the needle and and something I just always love saying is because it really affected me when I was young stop Trying to get good at the things you suck at too I just I need to say that because it's the biggest lie

we've ever been told. It dings our confidence when, I still can't read. If I wrote you two sentences in an email, half the words would light up misspelled and some of them are so bad that I tried three different times to spell it and the computer can't even, like if it could talk to me and be like, idiots, like what are you trying to say?

I have no freaking clue what you're saying and then I just put like good. You know? Like the. You know? I completely relate to that. But what it does is, let me just ask you, watching or listening right now,

if you're, if you work on something you suck at, does it make you feel empowered? Does it make you feel like you want to, like me trying to do accounting. Like could never do it. It's not my personality. So what I know about the most successful people on the planet, including you Ed,

you just got really great at a few things. Correct. The things that light you up, the things that inspire you, and when that fire starts, you can't stop it, and eventually you'll pay someone to do the things you suck at. Maybe you can't afford that now, but just don't let anybody give you a bill of goods

on working on the things. Try to get better at what you're failing. No, just go get great at a few things. Yeah, I wish I could debate you on that, but I can't, because I 100% agree. I just know that that's true. I'm not great at so many things, by the way. Me too.

One of them being writing. There are five or six things I've gotten really pretty good at in my life, right? And I just work those skills over and over and over again, and I collaborate or surround myself with people who are good at the stuff I'm not good at. I can't shoot the stuff these guys are filming. Absolutely. I don't have to edit the stuff they're doing.

These guys are brilliant, right? It's not my area. This is such great juice for people in every area. And also the other thing Dean recommends is make a list of the stuff you do suck at and make a list of the stuff that you are doing that you don't need to be doing. I'm so obsessed with that.

There's sometimes I'm even reading emails. I'm like, I should not be the one even reading this email right now. Cause this is stuff for my personal ROI. Okay, so, couple of the things I want to ask you about. Yeah. Because it's just simple what you do, but I love the way you teach it,

because I'm massive on this in my book. But yours is special and unique. Everyone needs to find a routine that works for them. Yep. And I like simple things. Sometimes people give me these 19 steps, I'm like, you don't really do that. In the real world, you don't do these things.

They sounded really good in your book or with a hell of a speech. And everyone who knows you, knows you don't do these things. You've done each of them once of the 19th. It's so funny, I have three of my dear friends that are massive influencers that do that. And every time I'm like, you're so full of shit. You're so full.

No one does all that stuff. I've hung out with you. I've seen you do any of those. You've got unbounded coffee. That's so true. I just think it's the most hilarious thing. It's awesome. It's so true, by the way.

Your morning routine, in terms of gratitude, I could do, and it works. Mine's about five minutes longer than yours, but I love what you do, and I love how you talk about reducing it, so just share with them what you do. This is awesome, you guys are gonna love this. And I fail on this sometimes too. If I don't do it, I honestly screw it up.

But it's a consistent thing, because I can do it in five to seven minutes. So the thing is, I used to, which probably a lot of people listening, and this isn't revolutionary, and the one thing I wanna say, thank you for saying that. I used to, which probably a lot of people listening and this isn't revolutionary, and the one thing I wanna say, thank you for saying that, I try to make things simple, and the one thing I'd love to say is, there's probably not much I'm sharing

to you haven't heard before. You've read it in books, you've heard it someplace, you've watched a video or a podcast, but what I'm gonna ask you to do for the first time is actually listen and apply it. And that's been my mission lately, is like, I know there's some of the things, success principles are the same since the beginning of time.

But when is it time to stop being inspired, stop just watching Ed and start just doing what Ed does? Like when is that time to stop looking for the next hit of a great podcast, the next hit of watching Tony or Dean or Ed or Andy or somebody watching feeling good and then going back to the same routine. What if this was the time? What if this was the interview?

What if this was the moment you said, I'm not just gonna listen, I'm gonna start to do? And I didn't mean to get sidetracked on it, but it's really different. No, it is, and that's why I like what you do in the morning because when I heard it, I went, that I can do. Yeah, so I'll go really quick. So for me, if I wake up and look at my phone,

it's like Russian roulette. The deal I'm working on, if it's not going through, I'll get pissed, I'll get in my head. And for me, I just try to find ways to frame things. For me, I kick ass during the day if I'm playing offense. If I'm playing defense, putting out fires, I don't move forward. I manage stuff.

I didn't move the needle. So I wanna play offense every day. So I framed it in my head. This is my way for offense. So when I wake up, I do not look at my phone. If I do, it's Russian roulette, it could be shitty. So first thing, I don't look at my phone. Second thing, I just find something to be grateful for.

But if you've ever done a gratitude journal and you know you're three months in, you're like, I got nothing left. They said my daughter 27 times, my son 42. You run out of stuff. So for me, I just wanna be grateful for the little things. Like I wake up and the sheets feel good. I'm like, wow, the sheets feel good.

Or 150,000 people die a day. You didn't die. I'm grateful just sitting here with you right now. The littlest thing, only so it frames your mind in a gratitude space. I'm not talking about a long meditation. I don't have time for that. Maybe you do and that would be great.

But I just think of something in that moment to be grateful for. And then in the next moment, I don't have time for that, maybe you do and that would be great, but I just think of something in that moment to be grateful for. And then in the next moment, I just think of one win from the day before. Because listen, as entrepreneurs, if you're watching this, you want another level of life, you kick your own ass more than anybody could. You work a 16 hour day and you come home

and you're like, I got nothing done today. You lie to yourself, you beat yourself up, so it's a moment to go, no, yesterday I closed that deal, yesterday I got to meet Ed and I know he'll be a friend for life. Like, just one thing, that's it, seconds. Gratitude, one thing was a win yesterday, then I think of one win for that day. What's one thing I wanna accomplish?

If I do that little tiny thing, it puts my mind in offense and I'm in a different space. Man, I wanna second two things here, cause this is so real and so good. Cause by the way, most of you lose control of your life in the first five minutes after you wake up I talk about it in my book and you begin to respond all day long first thing is this The hardest thing you will do and the thing that will change your life almost with the greatest impact is to not check your phone For the first 30 minutes you wake up in the morning. I'm telling you that it might be the biggest game changer

It is the biggest game changer for me It was so difficult. So what I did is I moved it away from where I sleep, but I'm just gonna say to you all, you think that's not a big deal, I gotta check it. I'm telling you, if you could go 30 minutes, if you could start by going 10 minutes to begin your day, something where you do not check that sucker and react,

and then what you say about the gratitude thing that's profound for me, and it's a breakthrough for me when you said it, I'm always kinda like, what are the big things I'm grateful for God, I'm grateful for my kids, you reduce it down to just something what's the smallest thing you could be grateful for right? I love that because there's always a small thing you'd be grateful for. I'm grateful, I clipped my toenails yesterday, whatever it is right? There's something, so I just want to validate how powerful I

think both those simple tools, the simplest things make the biggest impacts in our lives. Okay, couple more things. Yeah. I wanna ask you some personal stuff for a minute. You got it. You talk a lot about protecting your confidence. I'm a huge believer that like momentum and confidence is like this invisible force that we wish as influencers

we could explain to people. Yeah. And it's just something you need to end up possessing. I think you get confidence by keeping the promises you make to yourself. That's one of my theories. Great theory. I want you to describe that but I'd also I'm wondering if you'd be willing to share even recently the last four or five years was there an incident where your

confidence was rocked? Yep. And so the importance of protecting it and if you'd share a personal example maybe you haven't shared before. It's a great question. I'm really enjoying this. It you so much. It's fun being here. And you have an amazing audience. You guys rock. Thank you. So for me, confidence is, I just look at things again in the simplest form. I've never done anything good in my life

when my confidence was down. I never got the girl when I was young. I never closed the deal. I didn't get the money I wanted. I didn't get the partnership. And not like your confidence is in the toilet and you're pathetic with your shoulders down. I'm talking about your confidence is 5% off.

Did you ever go into a meeting and you know you're a little off and you're like I'm just gonna grit my way through it and you come out and you're like damn, I should have just either ignored it or took a moment to build my confidence because I didn't get what I wanted. And I've just been obsessing on knowing

that my confidence needs to be high at all times. So there's a million different ways to go. I love what Ed said on how to build confidence, keeping the promises you make with yourself, incredible. One of the things I do is I really obsess on looking at the things that take my confidence. So for me, as simple as this sounds, is I haven't watched the news in 10 years.

I don't watch it all. So I've never watched the news and got down and go, wow, I feel amazing. Like you don't watch the news and go, hey man I watched the news this morning, dude you should catch it at 12. You're not gonna believe it. You're not gonna believe how amazing shit is.

No, you watch the news you're like, oh my god, right? So the news, I know this sounds crazy and we know this is simple, but I've really eliminated the people in my life, and you've heard this a million times, that rob my confidence. And I've either become, if they're family members I put the Teflon up, and you've heard this a million times, that rob my confidence. And I've either become, if they're family members, I've put the Teflon up, or I've slowly pushed them out of my life. And any exercise, anything that I do that robs my confidence, the people I surround

myself, exercises, like I said, don't work on your weaknesses. I've obsessed on not to do lists. So if I go, hey, when I do XYZ, it robs my confidence, I don't like it, I know it's gotta go out of my life. Like my threshold, confidence builder, confidence detractor. If it's a detractor, it goes on the thing that's gotta go away. So I would just encourage you, think about the things, the people, the events you do, going to happy hour

with the guys from work and all they do is complain about how shitty your job or your boss is or your company is, if that makes you feel bad about yourself, then they're robbing you of your bigger future. So I would say one of the things besides what Ed said is make a list of the things that ding your confidence just a little bit and either reframe them or eliminate them.

And I'll tell you a thing, as entrepreneurs, it's great when you see when someone does a post and entrepreneur is like, oh my god, this is amazing, oh life sucks, I'm gonna go broke, I'm losing everything, I should've never tried. Oh no, wait, I found it, things are good, this is really good, I'm the greatest, I can't make a mistake, oh my god, I screwed up again.

Right, that's the life of an entrepreneur, but I would choose it a million times over, even with the failures, but I have to tell you, so real estate education, right? So real estate was my life, that's what made me a millionaire in my 20s. I wrote a book, Be a Real Estate Millionaire, that book alone broke a million copies.

And I wrote that book and launched it in 2007 when the market was crashing. Everybody was doing it the same way. I taught people on the way down, don't fix and flip, don't buy and hold, we don't know where the bottom is, wholesale on the way down. So I taught a wholesale strategy, book went on fire. I don't know if any other real estate book

has ever sold a million copies of it. We sold a million of that one. But on that way down, we built a company. We probably went from 2007 to 2012. In that downturn, all my competitors, literally they were all gone. By the time we hit the bottom, they were gone. And we were a $100 million a year company.

And making a massive impact, and I was working hard to get more influence, and all those things, right? So, companies growing while everybody else is going down. So anyway, long story short, we became, I became the number one real estate educator on the planet. No one has ever touched as many lives as we can. And I held that title for a long time, but about four years ago, we were also in the live event

space doing amazing 60, 70 live events a week. I wanted to go deeper because so many of my students, they can, you can give somebody a business on how to sell $20 bills for 10 bucks, and they'll still screw it up. They'll find a way to find an obstacle. They'll find a way to tell them that my family's, my parents said this is a scam or nobody's gonna want to buy a $20 bill for 10 bucks They'll screw it up, right? So I became so obsessed with it and my deep relationship with Tony and the impact he has on people and his encouragement I'm like I want to go into the successful. I want to go upstream So my whole philosophy was I can provide you with the way to make money

But if I don't go upstream and provide you with the right habits You're gonna think I'm a loser and my shit doesn't work and I don't like that. I don't want you sitting in Starbucks in five years going, I bought that Dean course, you can't make money in real estate. It's like, no, you can't make money at anything because you don't have the right habits. So I got obsessed with this

and I started scaling down the real estate business and going into the success space, wrote millionaire success habits and just got obsessed on it. And I have to tell you, from going with a, in 2013 my brands and my company, we did over $200 million in sales. To kind of wind that down and start fresh,

I wanted to leapfrog, doing 200 million a year in success habits, and we took a dip. And of course, fortunately I do well, so I didn't let anybody go, and I told the whole team, we're gonna ride, I've been here, I'm purposely riding this down so we can come back out. But I have to tell you, I was about a year in, I wrote the book, we first launched it,

and a lot of people are confused, like are you the real estate guy or the success guy? It's like, no, you have to be the success guy to be that big in real estate, right? You know this. And I have to tell you, about a year and a half in, I wasn't getting the momentum I thought I should, and I started, I was losing my confidence,

like wow, maybe, maybe because I'm older, maybe because I ignored social media, I did, because we were the number one show, infomercial-wise, and that was so big, I ignored social media, and I see all these people with a million followers, I hadn't even barely started an account yet, right? And all of a sudden, I start and I got 10,000 followers,

I'm like, wow, does everybody know that? Look at the impact it made, now I'm like the little guy in town. And honestly, it dinged my confidence. And I started feeling a little insecure. What did you do about it? I started getting my freaking story straight, the same thing, just getting my priorities straight.

I said, listen, if I wanted to stay as the number one real estate guy, is it my significance? And you know what it was? It was my significance. My show ran so much no matter where I went. People were like, Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, come in here, sit in the front,

go to the front row, out of this, let me buy you dinner. All of a sudden my show was off the air for two years and I'm not getting the love and I'm like, wow. And you know what it did? It made me a better man though. Because I realized what the hell am I doing it for? I'm doing it because I want to make an,

at this phase of my life, I want to make an impact on the world and I want to be a badass dad and I want to be a man, and a good relationship. Like, that's what makes me successful now. Like, it's not the money, it's not the significance, and when I decided I didn't care anymore, oh my God, like Millionaire Success Habits,

it was like a key turned. I mean, the book, we're almost at 400,000 copies, and it's on fire right now, and that brand is growing. We started Millionaire Success Habits live events, and I'm partnering with some amazing people. I have the highest level mastermind. Where do you want to get that book by the way? Should they go to Amazon or should they go to a special site?

You go to Dean's Free Book. Dean's Free Book. Yeah, you can get it for free. If you cover the shipping and handling we'll send you the hardcover. We'll put it right on the screen right now. I appreciate you sharing that because my favorite people

and also the most successful people I know are the most self-aware and they're, I don't know, they're confident enough to share their vulnerabilities. So I really appreciate you sharing that because I went through a similar thing when I went into this space too. And also we're both just competitive people,

even though it's still in the back. It's like, man, why aren't I getting the traction I want? I know about that. And even though your needs have moved to contribution, significance is still a big need for everybody, right? It's just always, I love to say I've evolved. I'm not really a significance guy. I'm here to grow and contribute, which is true,

but there's an addiction to significance that's healthy as well, right? Yeah, and I think, but what's cool is, and I see this with you Ed, and I'm not just saying, but your significance is one thing, but that's not why you're, like, the significance is a great byproduct. There you go.

But your heart is to share, to serve. Correct, and so is yours. And that's why we connect in two minutes, and that's why sometimes you meet someone like, ooh. Yes, by the way, the other reason I connect with you is because you're so good at it. And I just want to validate that, everybody watch this, I mean, we're gonna talk about where you'll follow him

in a minute, but his stuff is out freaking standing. I love people that get into this space, like I feel like I did that you have, which I think is rare, like, they spent a portion of their lives building their belief systems, their strategies, their way of doing things. They've proven it with a success, so it's validated. And then they say, here's what I do,

rather than the other way around. So the reason your stuff is so good is because it comes from a space of having done something, right? Done it, no, I get it. So several weeks ago, we did an episode on sleep on the podcast, and it went went crazy viral and that's because everybody Wants to sleep better and ask you a question. How would you define your relationship with sleep right now?

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So hey guys, it's been said that we really have two ages. There's our true age and our biological age. So a medical test can show you your biological age and it can show you if your body's aging prematurely. Better nutrition has been shown to help reverse one's bio age. My hope of living longer and especially healthier is why I take field of greens. Field of greens is an organic superfood and a vegetable drink unlike any other. It's serious nutrition. Listen to this, field of greens was approved for a university study that doctors may believe helped lower your biological age. That generally means better health. Each fruit and vegetable in field of greens was selected by their doctors to help support vital bodily functions like heart, liver, kidneys, your metabolism even, and even your immune system.

Only field of greens is backed by this better health promise. If in your next doctor's visit, your doctor doesn't tell you that your health is improved, Field of Greens, they'll refund your money. Join me for better health and 15% off plus free shipping. Visit fieldofgreens.com and use promo code ED. fieldofgreens.com promo code ED. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes.

You'll never miss an episode that way. I just want to remind you of something my friend and that is this, you were born to do something great with your life. I just had that on my heart today before we get going. I just feel like maybe there's an awful lot of you during this time right now that wonder whether that's true and maybe you need to be reminded of it. Maybe you're not even sure how you're going to do it again and I'm here to help you with all of that but I just want to begin by telling you you're special, you were born to do something awesome with your life in big ways and in small ways and that's the whole purpose of this show is for me to

help you max out your life and so you're stuck with me this week. If you listen to the show or watch the show for a long time you know kind of your old school it used to be that every other week I would do a lesson teach on something like spirituality, fitness, life strategy, influence, relationships, whatever it might be then the next week I have a guest on that's an expert that's maxed out a particular area of their life well recently the last eight months to a year I've mainly done interviews with

experts in different fields. But I had an experience myself yesterday that I've just felt compelled to share with all my brothers and sisters out there that I think might make a difference in your life might change your life like it changed mine. And so I'm so glad you decided to join me again this week. But I didn't want to start without telling you from my heart. I love you. I believe in you and greatness is coming your way. I know that and I do this show not just to inspire you and to motivate you but as many of you know, to give you the tactics and the strategies and the tools

to make that a reality in your life. And so today I'm gonna give you another one. And I want you to write this down if you can, if you're YouTube or you're not driving your car right now and that is this, today's theme is very simple, diversity is the pathway to richness. Diversity is the pathway to richness and I mean diversity in two forms, the people in your life and the experiences of your life and without that diversity, I'm so concerned in our culture today that I see us become more and more tribal, less and less diverse both in our friendships and our relationship we don't talk to each other we talk at each

other and more and more we hang around people just like us don't we and they kind of reinforce our beliefs and our way of living and we just kind of go in this circle it feels good it's like eating cake you know it feels really good but it doesn't grow us and then the second thing is the lack of diverse experiences that we're giving ourselves access to. And so I looked up diversity by the way in the dictionary and basically it means variety. We've all heard the saying that variety is the spice of life and I know during this time with COVID and the global pandemic and high unemployment and political polarization and all the things that are happening most people say hey life ain't so spicy right now and I want to bring some spice back to

your life and you can do it for free on no budget that spice that variety comes through diversity so the experience that I had this week that I wanted to share with you and I can only talk about it for a few minutes because every time I get going I can't finish sentences but I dropped my son off at college yesterday and can't do it sorry I just my boy left me yesterday is it hit me much harder than I thought it would and it's hitting me even harder again today and I think one of the reasons is is that I liked our kind of lack of variety our lack of diversity I had him under my roof every single day but what I keep reminding myself of is how amazing these next four years can be for my son.

Why? Because he's about to have the most diverse experience of his lifetime, isn't he? He's already meeting people that he didn't grow up around. People from different backgrounds, different countries, different economics situations, different religions. He's going to introduce to different ways of thinking. He's going to have decisions and choices to make. Good and bad, isn't he, during these years? But any of you that went to college or have sent a child off to college, it's four of the best years of most people's lives. Why? It's the most diverse years of their life. So if that's true for Max, I

got to be excited for him, don't I? As emotional as I am for myself. But it's also true for you. It's true for me. There's a direct correlation and connection between the amount of diversity in our life, variety, and how happy we are, how much we're growing. By the way, how wealthy you'll get too. And so when I dropped Max off, I, you know, I want to tell you first about making decisions. I said, Max, you're going to have a lot of decisions you're going to have to make in your life when you're here for the first time. And when I say diversity and variety and chase diversity, right? I don't mean things that you are knowingly aware of

could be harmful to you. So when you're offered a drug or a particular drink or some situation or decision you gotta make, Max, there's only two things you need to remember. So this is the next thing I'd have you all right now. I said, Max, you need to remember who you are as a man, your identity, and number two, what you stand for. And if every decision comes your way, you just remind yourself, who am I and what do I

stand for and is this choice, this decision consistent with that, then you'll make the right decision. And I know that for a fact. By the way, for you in your life, who are you and what do you stand for? And have you been living that way recently? Because I think you love all people. I think you want to chase experiences. I think you want memories and moments in your life and you want to be happier.

All of that is in this place that most of us avoid as we get older, which is new things, diverse things, different people, different ways of thinking. You're taught in the world right now, aren't you, man? These people are different, they're your enemy. Everybody in the world, both the left political party and the right political party, I'll tell you, your life's messed up because of these people. It's not your fault, it's their fault. Both parties do it, right? It's interesting. So many people say you don't know what

it's like to be me, but they seem to be an expert on what it's like to be you. Maybe those of you that think you're an expert on what it's like to be somebody else or you've got an opinion about somebody's life, ask yourself if you've walked in their shoes, ask yourself if you've had their experiences. And if you haven't, why don't you start to get to know people like that and maybe your opinion could evolve or change. Or at least you'd have an experience, wouldn't you? That's unique and different than the one you're having with the same three, four, five people you talk to that go to the same three, four, five places. And so you can have diversity right now on no budget. And I'm going to talk about those things with you today. And I'm excited for my son, uh, that he's going to have this diverse and amazing variety in his life going for

different golf courses, different places. He'll go different things. He's going to have to learn tools and skills that he didn't have to learn when his mom was caring for him. By the way, a lot of you say to me, you know, you talk about your family, but not all the time, not as often as some people might. That's because just to be candid with you, they deserve their privacy. They want their privacy. And you'd be surprised when you're a public person, some of the scary things that happen when you expose your family quite too much. But I felt compelled to share that experience with you because it was life changing for him and it's life changing for me. And the

lesson there is it can be life changing for you as well. So diversity in all forms. Remember I said diversity in people in your life and I want you to really evaluate that. The last 90 days or so, how many diverse conversations you have with people that grew up completely differently than you? Different background, different race, different religion, right? Different experience. And your business, how many people that are around you are very different than you, right? Different experience. You're in your business. How many people that are around you are very different than you, right? They look different, they talk different, they come from somewhere different. They bring different experiences, perspectives, thoughts, opinions, nuances to the table

that are beautiful. See, as a country, we are better together. We're not all the same. You say, we're all the same. No, we're not all the same. And that's what makes it so beautiful. We're not all the same. People say we're all the same. No, we're not all the same. And that's what makes it so beautiful. We're not all the same. But together we're stronger. Some people ask me if I'm gonna run for office. I don't know, but I doubt it. But one of the only reasons I would is I would do it to bring people together. I'm so tired of these political parties, the media, everybody, social media, putting us against each other. And they'll be like, well, we're not the same. We're beautiful combined. Our

combined experience, our combined skills, our combined thoughts, our combined lives, our combined souls are better together, are better. I'm not saying everybody's good. I don't believe that. I don't believe everybody should be in your circle. But one of the things that's confusing to a lot of people is they say, well, wait a minute, I listened to you. I listened to social media. It says, hey, keep your circle small, only have people there that support your way of thinking. You're not understanding what that means. So let me clarify it for you.

I mean people that support your dreams, that support you, that support who you are and what you stand for, to go back to my conversation with Max. I don't want anybody in my life who doesn't support who I am and what I stand for. Right? But I want them to express it. I want them to challenge me. I don't want anybody in my life who doesn't support who I am and what I stand for. Right? But I want them to express it. I want them to challenge me. I don't want everybody to think politically the same as me.

I don't have the same personality as me. If you're a really serious person, wouldn't it be more spicy? More diverse to have some hilarious people around you? If you're a complete right-winger, wouldn't it be just more diverse and interesting at lunch, at dinner, with someone who's on the left or vice versa? Man have some women friends, women, hey guys how about have some conversations with some ladies that you're not just dating. Just get to know their experience, what they're thinking about, what they fear, what they worry, what they want, what they chase, what their anxieties are, what

their dreams are, what their insecurities are and vice versa. That's how we get better and so your life right, I want to be happier. One of the ways is more diversity and so if you haven't had a lot of that lately, chase it. There's someone at work that you could reach out to you don't know, say I want to get to know you better. Let's have a conversation, let's have a zoom. If you can get together have a cup of coffee depending on where you live. Tell me about your life. I see at the office when we were there, I don't know anything about you. One of the things that drives my friends crazy is that if they get in an uber with me or a limo, they know I'm not talking to them, I'm talking to the driver. Anybody who drives me or anything like that because I believe human beings are gifts

and only is that revealed to you when you open them up. And so I know I interview kind of one of the things I do here is I interview but I get to know people. I love people. It drives my friends crazy because they know we get in a car, it's an hour, Eddie's talking to the driver the whole time. I want to know where you're from, what's your upbringing, right? Because they're diverse, that's spice. I already know these other three, I could talk to them later. I want to talk to this person. I was driving last week example, a guy picked me up from Lebanon. I said, hey man, what's it like there? Take me through it. And I learned a lot. My life's better because I'm not from Lebanon. I've never been to Lebanon. But I had this picture what it was like and he's like, actually where I grew up man, gated

community, middle class, Christians, Jews, Muslims, agnostic, all on my street and we had street parties and we all got along great. I said you're kidding me that wasn't kind of my image. He goes well there's places where it's not like that but where I lived just like where you would live here. I said you're kidding me, no way. And we had a great conversation. He's got three children. One of this guy's from Lebanon. One of his kids immigrated here. One of his kids is at Harvard. It's kicking butt man. He's driving Uber to help support tuition. My life was richer because of that experience didn't cost me any money My life got better

So were yours if you chase diversity by the way, so will your business. So I want to talk to you entrepreneurs for a minute Diversity is the key. I don't believe by the way hiring on skin color one way or the other. I don't go Well, your skin's darker. I'm hiring you or your skin's lighter. I'm hiring you I don't hire on genitalia or gender either. I hire the person that's the best for the job. Like for the presidential race right now I'm not gonna tell you who I'm voting for but I can tell you this their gender has nothing to do with who I'm voting for pro or con. Who's the best person for the job? Having said that one of the mistakes entrepreneurs make and

we make in our lives that I made when I was young is I started to look at my business when I was younger everyone around me my clients the people that work with me were all just like me You looked around my business when I was 25 26 years old. They're all guys all former athletes or military or police all kind of the testosterone masculine crown They loved my messages. They loved how I talked the veins sticking out Getting all fired up yelling and screaming and I'd get this reinforcement so I thought I was doing it right. One of the mistakes you entrepreneurs make is you keep getting reinforced your way of thinking. You do it in politics too, don't you? You watch on TV exactly what you already believe,

right? Your phone's programmed now that what you've you've clicked on they're gonna feed you more of what you like and in work we do it too. Why? Why is it that those guys all were like me? You know why? Because we like people that are like us. We just do. It's an unconscious bias. Everybody has it. Black people have it. White people have it. Old people have it. Young people have it. It's an unconscious bias. We like people like us. It's not horrible to have. It's horrible not to be aware of. And so you have unconscious bias in your friendships, in your politics, and in your hiring and training and work. And so I had all these guys, they love what I talked about. It was great. You're great, Ed. Thank you. And we were all fired up all the time

about how supposedly great our company was. But guess what what that's a limited segment of the world so is people just like you you have a limited slice of life if everyone around you looks like you my white friends how many conversations you had in the last 90 days with a really good friend of yours that's Latin or Chinese or black my black friends last 10 phone calls you've had last conversations how many of them were with a white guy or a white girl? And I hate skin color. I hate judging that. I'm talking about diversity of experience. Unfortunately, we live in a world where this has become, you better pick a tribe. It's terrible. The truth is most of us are mixed with something. Drives me nuts that we even have to have this conversation.

But the truth is we have become tribal. And the truth is, you gotta get to know people that are different than you. And so I started to evaluate that. So stay with me on this. And I started to realize I needed to bring more people to the table that could express who I was and what I stood for in their unique way. I can express it my way.

I need people's experiences, backgrounds, memories, nuances, personalities, ways of thinking that I don't have. And so let me give you a couple examples of what my business life looks like. I've been named one of the 50th wealthiest men in the world under 50 years old. That's pretty cool. My podcast, and my show that you're watching if it's on YouTube, fastest growing show in the world, a couple different magazines picked me the fastest growing businessman in the history of social media, that's pretty cool in just three years, millions of people around the world listen to my content and my audience is unbelievably what? Diverse, 52% women, 48% men, 48% of my audience is under 35 years old, 52% of my

audience is over. Global and in the United States. I have entrepreneurs and non-entrepreneurs. I have Christians, Muslims, Jews, agnostics. I have people that are you know trying to win financially in life and people that want to win spiritually in life. It's diverse. Why is that? Because obviously I'm that same guy that when I was 25, it's who I've surrounded myself with. So many of you may not know this, but I want you to think about something. I'd love to tell you that all that stuff's grown because I'm so incredible and so wonderful, but that's just not the case. The reason it's grown like it has is because of the diversity and the variety and the spice around me. Not only do I enjoy it, but it's tremendously changed my financial

situation. By the way, I do all the social media stuff for free as you know, but it's grown my brand. So let me give you an example. This social media, YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, wherever you're listening to me, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, all of that enterprise of mine, my public reputation and brand, the CEO and president of that company, the leader of that company, is leader of that company is a woman, a young woman, a young black woman and one of my dearest friends whom I love named Trevi. So yeah this entire thing you're consuming for me turns out it's driven

by someone different than me, someone better than me, someone who brings experiences and thoughts so it's my message, It's my brand. It's what I stand for. I hire for people who understand who I am and what I stand for, but can help me express it differently. Maybe in your case, get to markets differently. And so everything I do, I've, I've trusted my entire public reputation and content with Trevi. And I wouldn't have anybody else do it. I hope she stays forever. I love her. So that's who leads that part of my organization. The person who creates the content that you see

on social media, also a woman, Athena. The person who handles all my personal finances, my bookkeeping, my accounting, my taxes, everything, a woman, Sue. The person who runs my new financial venture that I have, a woman, she's Greek and Latin, her name's Nicole. She's awesome. The person who runs my entire enterprise for the last two decades, all of my companies, handles all my financial, my money, 25 something different corporations, runs my world, is a woman. She's also my sister for two decades, she's been my sister all her life but she's been my CEO

for two decades. Erica, turns out I have a really diverse team. Mike, my videographer, he's been with me forever, he looks like me but I'm also loyal. So I've got a very diverse team. These women, these people bring to bear all kinds. That's just one example. My financial company has people from many different, East Indian, Muslim, Christian, Mormon. We have Chinese folks, Indian folks, black folks, white folks, Latino folks, old people, young people, all winning. Variety is the spice of life. I'm a better businessman. I'm a richer financially and richer emotionally and spiritually because of the diversity in my life. We can learn from everybody. So my challenge to you is take a look at your hiring. If you're running a company, maybe you need to get people together that are there that are very different.

Why don't you encourage people that don't know each other to get on a Zoom or to have lunch this week and just get to know one another, collaborate, connect, get to understand each other's backgrounds and nuances. I would challenge you to do that. I hope that's a breakthrough for you, by the way, on how to lead your company and in your life. Maybe reach out to somebody that's different than you this week politically. Maybe for 20 minutes, listen to something that's not exactly what you already believe. By the way, well, hey, no, I am all Trump, 100%. I don't wanna hear anything from these liberal wackos. Or you know what? Trump is a racist, crazy person.

I'm not interested in talking to anybody who supports anything that guy stands for. Cool, so that's how you're gonna live your life. You're not gonna learn anything from their perspective. They're just evil if they disagree with you. Is that what you're saying? Or are you afraid that your beliefs are so weak that one conversation with them, you that what you're saying? Or are you afraid that you your beliefs are so weak that one conversation with them you may get impacted and change? Which is it? Because if

you believe it so strongly they can't change your mind just have a conversation have the experience and learn. You know what you might find out? There might be something they believe you ought to consider. Maybe one little part of it. And you know what the worst thing that would happen is you go you know what I just I listen to them I totally disagree with them. I feel stronger about how I feel. Great, that's an experience. But I can guarantee if you had 10, 12, 20, 30 of these, your life would change. How about this?

What could you do that's new for the first time? Think about your life. All the things that have been the greatest moments of your life were new in the first time and diverse, weren't they? But maybe the last 90 days, because we've been locked in our houses or there's no financial means. So what could you do? Could there be a new hobby you could pick up? New music you listen, maybe your country music fan listen to something else for a while. Listen

to Sinatra right now. There's no new music out. So I'm going back all the way to Sinatra just to get some variety, just to get some spice in my life. I'm tired of listening to same songs over and over again. Same conversations, right? The second thing we teach in personal development is man you better have habits rituals and routines I teach this people take that to an extreme that's a foundational thing you should have that gives you the anchor so you can go have variety and diversity and keep your life under control. If everything in your life is routine if you and your spouse watch the same shows

together, go to the same restaurants, order the same food, have the same conversations every single day, that's a relationship that's dying, not growing. Why don't you do something new and innovative? Walk somewhere different, work out together, try a different restaurant, have a different conversation, watch a different movie. Heck, do something that's just diverse. Don't sleep in your bed tonight. Grab a couple sleeping bags and have a camp out in the living room and a picnic and do something romantic, something diverse, get creative. It's the spice of life. Your ability to create diverse and variety based experiences will be the juice of your life, your relationships

and your business. But you can't go through the motions. You've got to force diversity, force yourself into variety. New conversations, new experiences, a new place you hike, I don't know, something new that's diverse and variety. We avoid it as adults and it kills me. You know, you can learn from everybody. Let me share this with you. You'd say, well, everybody? Yeah, you may not agree, but you can learn. You can learn. That grows you. You know, many of you know that my first job out of college, I worked at McKinley Home for Boys, which basically was an is an orphanage. My boys were all eight to ten years old. My boys grew up in some ways like me in some ways different.

And so it changed my life because I got so much diversity in my life. My boys were wards of the court. So my boys, most of them were either molested by their family, their parents were incarcerated or dead. And so my, by the way, most of my boys were inner city boys and most of my boys were a minority of some type. Okay they changed my life. You say well they must have learned a great deal from you Ed. I mean your mentoring and your way of living. They did and I learned a ton from them. So if I could learn from eight and nine year old inner city boys, don't you think you could learn from someone who thinks completely differently than you? Wouldn't that be interesting? By the way it's one of the great experiences in my life. I still talk about it all the time. Well, what did I learn from those guys?

Well, I'll tell you what I learned. I didn't grow up around guys. I grew up middle class. I say lower middle class. My mom and dad keep telling me we were middle class. So I'll default to we were middle class. But I didn't grow up around guys like them. But you know what I learned? I learned to be grateful for the most simple things in my life from them. I remember one day I would walk the boys to school every day and little Marcus every day would start skipping. We always walked in a line and he would start skipping. I say Marcus get back in line brother. Okay Eddie and he would do it every day. So finally one day he skipped again. I said Marcus you need to get back in line man. I'm not going to tell you three times Marcus, you need to get back in line man I'm not going to tell you three times."

And he looks at me with this beautiful little face Marcus was an African-American little boy and he goes, Eddie, okay. I said, what are you so damn excited about man? He goes, no gunshots on this way to school. Every day there's no gunshots Mr. Eddie. And I went, yeah that is cool cool, Marcus. That is pretty awesome. And I thought something that simple he was grateful for. What a lesson for me. We're always grateful for the biggest things in our lives. The biggest things in our lives. What about the small things that we take for granted

every single day that someone from a different background can teach us is so special. I remember one morning I came in to wake up Jose and little Jose woke up and I said Jose let's go brother it's time to get up man and he gets out of bed and he says Mr. Eddie he gives me this big hug in the morning his little eight-year-old at the time and he goes I love you I love you thank you I said for what he, for getting me up every morning. I said, of course, brother, we gotta get to school.

And I later found out that his parents never woke him up for school. He'd miss school all the time. He'd sleep in till 10 or 11. No one would get him up. No one would make him breakfast. No one would talk to him about school. No one asked him about his report card.

No one asked him about his grades. He just wanted somebody to care. And I thought these things that I took for granted with my mom growing up were so simple. See when you begin to get diverse experiences, you begin to get insights into life changing variety in your life. It's also the key to making a comeback. If you're going to change things right now, make a comeback, you need to start to think different and act different and feel different about yourself.

And that comes from all of these experiences. You know, I told Max, I said, Max, listen, there's going to be choices for you at college, man, that are going to be very difficult. This is not going to be all sunsets and rainbows, right? I said, my freshman year of college, man, I had some decisions to make. I said, let me tell you about my freshman year. I went away to college, which is already scary. So I know you're a little bit scared. I said, I me tell you about my freshman year. I went away to college, which is already scary. So I know you're a little bit scared. I said, I went away, I get there, and my girlfriend breaks up with me back home. That one hurt.

Then my teammates didn't like me. I'm super introverted and shy. I was from California. Most of those guys weren't. They thought I was arrogant and cocky because I was quiet. So but it wasn't, I was just super introverted. They actually nicknamed me Eddie myself instead of Eddie Mylet because I was alone so often and so my girlfriend breaks up with me my teammates don't like me two months after

that I got there the coach who recruited me quit and took a scouting job so now the reason I went there is gone and I said Max then the game started and I was overmatched I wasn't good enough I I hit 220 my freshman year. I sucked. I played every game because the guy behind me was even worse than me. And I said we went 15 and 45 that year. 15 wins, 45 losses. And a bunch of other crap happened that wasn't good that year as well. I said when it was over I wanted to quit and I called my dad, which is his grandfather, we call him Gump. I said Gump came up and I said dad this didn't work out. Look, the guy who recruited me quit.

The teammates don't like me. I'm not good enough to play here. You know, we're terrible. I just want to come home and I'll go to another school back home. And my dad said, well, you could do that. You got a decision to make. And guess what my dad said to me? He probably doesn't even remember this. He goes, is that consistent with who you are as a man is that what you stand for the

same two questions I asked you earlier I said what do you mean he said is that is that who you are you're quitter when it gets really difficult you run I said dad that's not what happened the coach quit he goes oh so what you stand for as long as people around you quit and give up, make mistakes, that gives you permission to do it. That's what you're saying. And when it gets really difficult, you just run. And you really believe you're not any good. That's why you hit 220. And you can't help the team get any better. It's fine. You can leave.

I just want to make sure that that's who you are and what you stand for. You got me. And I thought about it really hard, Max. I thought, that's not who I am. I don't run when it gets tough. And you know what, maybe I could outwork these guys this summer and get a little bit better. And maybe I won't hit 220 next year.

Maybe we could win a few more games. And the fact that the coach quit, that doesn't give me permission to get weak and quit either. My dad was a diverse thinker. And stayed and you know what worked out pretty well next year I hit like 360 was a defensive player of the year we won some more games my coach is a friend of mine to this day so is my pitching coach both Quincy and Stan are both friends of mine and I'm really glad that I made that decision Max you're gonna be faced with those decisions as well. My thinking is maybe some of you listening to this day are being faced with

those decisions, aren't you? I am so excited to have this gentleman to my left here today and I'm so excited to share with you that he's written this new book called Think Like a Monk, Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day. Jay Shetty. Ed, thank you so much man. I'm so grateful for this. As I've watched this meteoric rise of yours, I've actually privately, a few times, not every day, but a few times, I've actually prayed for you

that you would keep this level of humility. And so this is an interesting thing I wanted to ask you, but it'll serve everybody else. There is this balance, isn't there, of wanting this book to do well. Right? You don't want to sell two copies. You want it to do very well. When you put a video out, there's probably this, there's got to be a little part of you that's like, how well did it do? And I think that line right there, I'm not even sure if you or I know the answer entirely, but do you struggle with that balance of I'm doing this in the service of people,

yet I'm sensitive to the response of what I'm doing? Because I think someone listening to this right now who's gonna have a sales presentation tomorrow, they wanna be in the service of that person, but there's this part of them that is in that balance we've talked about earlier about what's the response going to be, how am I going to be received, I want people to like me, I want them to, how do you navigate that?

That's a great question, man. That's huge. And the answer, let's take that salesperson. The more time that person spends in empathy, their customer's pain, and what the customer's really looking for, the better they're gonna be received. So that service mindset always helps

because if you're thinking about, and this is what it comes, and I said this to my team when we were writing the book and everything I was working on, I said, if I sit here right now and all I'm thinking about while I'm writing the book is being a best-selling book, then guess what? I'm now not writing the book.

I'm now living in the future and I'm not living in the present. And so the only way to make this a best-selling book is to do the process properly. And I don't think, and this is what I do, and this is the only thing that's helping me. And again, I go through it all the time. After my first video went viral three, four years ago,

I stopped creating because of the pressure that I wouldn't be able to live up to it. So I actually got scared because I was like, oh well, what if the next video doesn't do as well? Everyone's gonna think I'm tanking. Like you get into that self-doubt and that self, and I got into that space where I was just like, thank you for being honest about that.

Yeah, no, really, like genuinely, I didn't wanna make a video again because I was like, this video just got 40 million views. Like how am I ever gonna beat that, right? And you get scared. I was like, I'm not putting anything out. I'm just gonna stop. And then I started to again because I was like this video just got 40 million views Like how am I ever gonna beat that right and you get scared house? I'm not putting anything out I'm just gonna stop and then I start to realize I was like well now I'm not living in service anymore I'm living out of ego and I'm living for feeling a certain way and guess what? I'm not feeling better by not putting anything out. Yeah, and actually if I just serve more learn more So the way I've made sense of it and there's a verse in the Gita that explains it too

Is that you have full control over the preparation, the process, and the practice, but you have no control over the potential result. But all of those three things are the result in and of themselves. And so if you get addicted to the process of writing the practice of connecting with the right people who can help share your work and Hey, like you said I am focused on the process of making sure that the most people in the world

Have the opportunity to buy this book, but then if they choose not to buy it I can't control that but I can control making sure that it's in front of everyone and that I believe in the context. And that to me is not attachment, that to me is not ego, that to me is trying to live your best life. I mean, if you didn't just try, if you're like, I wrote this book, but who cares? I mean, that's not service either. Because the way I explain it,

and I'm not claiming that this is it, and I'm not trying to say I'm it, I'm trying to say that I think we all feel this way if You or me see an amazing movie We want to tell everyone about it if you read an amazing book you want to tell everyone about it If you found the cure to cancer you tell everyone about it for me I got to live an incredible life. Thanks to these amazing teachers. I met Yeah, I just want to tell everyone about it. Like that's all I'm doing.

But I want to tell everyone because of how powerful it was. Brother, that's the best description I've ever heard. There's this line I've always tried to teach of, you want to have outcomes but yet you need to separate from them. And that's a difficult thing when people are trying to achieve different things. That was perfectly stated. Absolutely being addicted to the process of it, but actually separating from what you can't control I absolutely yeah absolutely love it

this is the end my