THE ED MYLETT SHOW - The Most Underrated Way To Change Your Life | Ed Mylett

Episode Date: January 11, 2025

What If Changing Your Life Was Easier Than You Thought? In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the most underrated tools for transformation: your identity. The thermostat of your life is set by the beliefs you hold about yourself, and until you change that internal setting, no amount of external success will stick. I’m joined by Matthew McConaughey, who shares a profound perspective: discovering who you are is often about eliminating who you’re not. Together, we unpack how letting go of limiting beliefs, unhelpful habits, and relationships that drain you can make room for the person you're destined to become​. You’ll hear me break down the thermostat analogy—the invisible force that regulates every area of your life, from finances to fitness to relationships. I’ll show you how association with people who live at higher levels can naturally raise your own standard, and how short bursts of intense, intentional effort can permanently shift your internal settings. Matthew brings his signature wisdom, emphasizing the power of subtraction in personal growth and why clarity often comes from identifying what doesn’t serve you​. We’ll explore how your story—the one you tell yourself about your past, your failures, or even your victories—can either trap you or set you free. I’ll challenge you to rewrite your narrative, to stop clinging to outdated versions of yourself, and to start stepping boldly into the person you’re meant to be. Because here's the truth: you are always in control of the pen that writes your story​. Key Takeaways: - Why your identity thermostat dictates every result in your life - The role of associations in raising your personal standards - How short, intense bursts of new habits can rewire your mindset - Matthew McConaughey’s advice on the power of eliminating what doesn’t serve you - Why rewriting your story is essential to building a new identity If you’re tired of external changes never leading to lasting results, this episode is for you. It’s time to adjust the thermostat, rewrite your story, and step fully into the version of you that you know you’re capable of becoming. This isn’t just about small changes—it’s about a complete internal shift that sets the tone for your entire life. Thank you for watching this video—Please Share it and get the word out! What part of this video resonated with you the most? Comment below! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster and that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward slash ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about 5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with

the app. Also some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content and they're on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do. So go over there and get signed up.

You're gonna get a free, tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed. The all new FanDuel sports book in Casino is bringing you more action than ever.

Want more ways to follow your faves? Check out our new player prop tracking with real-time notifications. Or how about more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino. Gambling Problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connexontario.ca. ["This is the Ed Mylett Show." Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show.

Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. You know, people ask me often, what were some of the decisions and choices and areas I focused on that made the biggest difference for me in my life? And today's topic is the thing that I would probably give you the gift of first, and that is the power of your identity. See, I believe the most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with the thoughts, ideas, concepts, and beliefs you hold to be true about yourself. And that is what identity is. Identity is the governor on every single area of your life. It literally sets the temperature for all of the conditions of your life. Shakespeare

has this incredible quote that says, we know what we are, but not what we may be. And the who you may be is gonna be dictated by your ability to alter your identity. Because you are going to always be consistent with what you believe you're worth and what you believe you deserve, or what is your identity. Your identity, the best analogy I could give you, is like a thermostat sitting on the wall of your life.

It sets the entire temperature for the conditions of your life in multiple areas. And so most people think their life is dictated by external circumstances. They spend their entire life trying to control what is outside of them. You've all heard the great saying that people in 12-step programs talk about about learning to control the things they can and letting go of the things that they can't control. And the fact of the matter is you cannot always control the external factors that are impacting you in your life.

The good news is it's the external things in your life that do not dictate the direction or the ultimate destination of your life. That is a fallacy. Listen to me when I tell you this. External circumstances do not dictate the ultimate destination of your life. It's an internal game. You and your faith, your God, are what will control the direction of your life, not the external things that are impacting you all the time.

And this identity is that internal thermostat. It sets the temperature, just like a thermostat sitting on the wall, of the conditions of your entire life. Let me give you an example of how the thermostat of our lives works. The best analogy I can give you is exactly how one works in the room I'm sitting in. It sets the temperature of the room and so the external conditions don't impact the internal temperature of this room because that thermostat regulates the condition of the room. So if we open the door in the windows in this room and cold air blew in here, the thermostat would kick on, wouldn't it, and heat the room back up to 75 degrees. So no matter what hit it, it regulates the temperature of the room. The reverse is also true. If a bunch of hot air blew in the room, if we open the doors and the windows,

the thermostat would cool the room back down and regulate it to 75 degrees. Guess what? That's exactly how your life works. Once you accept this truth, it is a fact that is not the external things that are happening. It's the internal thermostat. Too often in life, people don't work on changing their identity. They're always working on producing external results. Have you ever known somebody who was wealthy

and no longer is? Have you ever known somebody who made a bunch of money and no longer does? How about somebody who was in a great relationship and that relationship no longer exists? How about someone who got in great shape that is no longer in that shape again? If your results begin to exceed your internal thermostat, you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you're worth and you're comfortable at your identity. You'll think it's coincidental.

Oh, I was, this accident happened, or this appointment canceled, or this circumstance took place. It's coincidental. Oh, I was this accident happened or this appointment canceled or this circumstance took place It's not coincidence all of those things have happened because you set the thermostat of your life And you've regulated what you're going to get isn't that incredible that you could learn all the talents the behaviors the skills the tactics all the Strategies that I teach you but if you don't alter that thermostat internally You could have all of the skills of a 100 degree producer and you will live a 75 degree existence because you will turn the air condition of your life on back down to cool it where you're comfortable. It's also true, by the way, you've seen this in your own life.

Maybe you've had something really good going in business before. You've got momentum. It seems like things are happening great. And then you wake up four, five, six months later and you've cooled your life, your business right back down to where it was before. Maybe you'd saved some money at one time and then coincidentally your car broke down or a bill happened or there was a run of birthday parties and all of a sudden that bank account is back to where it always was. It's not coincidental.

You've cooled the conditions back down again. And so you've seen this happen. Maybe you got in great shape at one point but your identity wasn't that a person, and you've cooled it back down to about what you're comfortable being. This is true in your faith and your relationships. By the way, you have multiple thermostat settings. You have one in your faith, you have one in your fitness, one in your money, one in your happiness, right? One in your business life. So there's multiple identities we have. The reverse is also true. There's been times in your life where the circumstances, the conditions were terrible. You thought

you'd never get out of it. You're never going to eat again. Well guess what? You ate again, didn't you? And you heated your life back up to that same place again. So you've proven this over and over in your life, haven't you? So have I. So has every single human being. The governor on our life, the regulator of our life, is our identity, which is the internal thermostat that sets the temperature for our life. So the key in life is to learn all the thoughts, the skills, the tactics, and the strategies that can heat our life up in the areas that matter most to us. But if we don't simultaneously change the conditions of our thermostat, change what we're comfortable living at, change your identity, our worth, change the thoughts, beliefs, concepts, and value we hold to ourself, we will cool or heat our life back to that regulated

temperature. And so I'm telling you the overall key to changing the external conditions of your life is changing that internal thermostat setting. So that's what we're going to talk about some strategies on today. Just being aware that you need to alter the thermostat is a life-changing liberating condition. I cover this in very specific detail and hashtag max out your life my book. It's a quick read hundred pages. I wrote it so that every page has strategies on it no fluff. If you want the book go to maxoutbook.com. If you put in the code max out I I'll buy the book for you. So, I cover this in detail there, but I want to cover it in detail right now with you as well. What you need to be doing is becoming aware of

how important it is that you adjust this thermostat setting as you produce better results, as you start to learn new skills and strategies and tactics. See, you can move from an average business into an extraordinary business with incredible opportunity, but you will produce the same results you're getting in the average business if you don't change that thermostat setting up to 95 or 100 or 120 degrees of what you believe you're worth, the thoughts, concepts, and beliefs you hold true to be about yourself. So, it is the regulator on our lives, and it's the main thing I work on with my private coaching with some of the main thing I work on with my private coaching,

with some of the elite performers I work with in business and athletics and entertainment and politics is me working with them on changing that internal thermostat where we can heat it higher and higher and higher so that they can produce the results and the conditions of their life, stay and exceed those levels all the time. In fact, in my own life, I'm always working on my self-confidence, I'm working on my tactics and strategies, my ability to influence, my thoughts, all of those different things. But the thing I'm most obsessed about that I know is going to get me to the ultimate version of me is constantly elevating the temperature in the areas that matter to me, adjusting that thermostat setting higher and higher and higher and higher so that I can

get those conditions to match it because it always will. You will always get your thermostat setting, always in your life. So can I give you any insights as to how to change that thermostat setting? I can. Let me give you a couple. The most powerful way and the easiest way to change your thermostat setting is by adding people to your circle very close proximity that live at a higher temperature in that area than you do. For example, in your faith, let's just say, you're a 75 degree or in your faith,

you've already seen this, you can't possibly begin to regularly associate with good godly people who pray regularly, who try to live righteously, and they're 110, 120 degrees of faith in their their life and not have that proximity heat you up. No, you won't get to where they are, you'll get to somewhere between where you are at 75 degrees and they are at 110, over time you become a 100 degree-er and you alter the thermostat setting through association. Same in business. If you and I were to hang around each other every single day, and let's say you were a

75 degree-er in business, hypothetically, and I don't know that about you, but let's just say you were, and I was a 150 degree or, and we hung around each other all the time. Don't you think through that association, especially if you had two or three or four people like me in your life, that just over time you don't even feel it. You're at 80, you're at 85, you're at 90, you're at 95, and that's where you are. We understand the power of this with our children because we know at school the teachers have influence over them, they're mentors, but the people that really have influence over

our children are their friends because they're around them all the time and so we know it sets their temperature. This is true in fitness. If you're a 75 degree of fitness at every meal, every day at the gym, all your associations hypothetically speaking were with someone who was shredded and fit the way you wanted to look at 150 degrees. You know over time you get heated up. And so you can't be with someone every day. You can't be with them all the time.

But the key is to get more proximity in the areas that matter with people whose thermostat setting is higher than yours. I am a product. You are listening to me right now because I've been so obsessed with this concept of adding new associations to my life that live in the areas that I want to improve in at higher temperatures than me. It's my obsession to this day. I'll give you a secret. One of the reasons I even do my show is I know that I'm influencing many of these guests in the areas that matter most to them through our proximity and in some cases they do it for me. And so I'm obsessed with the power of association but I don't just associate.

See all personal says yeah you're the five people you hang around. Kinda. You really are the five to ten people you hang around if you're conscious all the time of studying them, of observing them, of asking questions, of the fact that you should be altering your thermostat setting. That's when it really moves. It's not just hanging around, it's consciously and intentionally spending time with people where you allow it to impact you, where you study them, where you really observe them, where you're open to their influence. There has to be a level of trust before you can do that, where you surrender yourself to them, but it's not

just being around them. It's intentionally being around people that alters that thermostat setting. So power of association is the main way to do it. Second way to alter your identity is in a short window of time, behave completely differently. In a 30-day window of time in your fitness life, you shock your system into eating or training completely differently. In a 30-day window of time in your fitness life you shock your system into eating or training completely differently than you used to. Or in your business life you make a hundred times more phone calls, a hundred more contacts, you do something in a very short window of time that shocks you into believing, my gosh I could never go back where I was before.

You trick your brain into believing you're different. There's this part of our brain that always wants to be consistent with what we're worth. Well, if in a short window of time I begin to behave completely differently, your brain begins to believe you deserve something differently. When you begin to do the things nobody else is willing to do, you begin to believe you deserve the results nobody else deserves to get.

This is important also because it changes the water line. It's almost like a water line in the pool. If you raise it, it leaves a new mark. Have you ever seen that before in a lake or a pool? You raise the water line a short window of time and it just changes the mark in your life. It changes the thermostat setting. So you can alter things in your life in short bursts and I do this often in an area where I really need to change. Like right now, I just started back on a really seriously deeply committed fitness journey

I want to get back and past where I've ever been in fitness in my life So I'm gonna add some of these new associations. I'm gonna train with a new group of people because I've been training alone I'm going back to training with some people that are fitter than me men and women that are fitter than me That's my first combination that'll alter my thermostat setting our proximity and secondly, I'm going psycho the next 30 days. I'm going psycho. I'm altering my nutrition and my diet dramatically, my workouts dramatically, and I'm gonna shock my system in the next 30 days into changing the waterline, changing that temperature setting. That's the second way you alter identity, alter the thermostat setting so that you alter the external results. I've said this to you before as well, see beliefs are so important to guard because once you have

a belief your brain goes to work, I've said this in another audio video, where your brain has to go to work to prove your beliefs to be true. Your brain literally goes to work on finding the evidence to prove you right and so that identity you're constantly reinforcing it. Let me give you an example of what I mean. If you believe a certain worth about yourself, a certain identity, that impacts the type of action you're willing to take. So if there's a goal you've got set, it doesn't matter what it is, pick a goal. To the extent that you believe it's consistent with your identity is to the extent that you will make an effort towards it. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, however,

because what happens is if your identity is here and the goal is there, you will only make an effort congruent with what you believe you're worth. And so that limited effort you make produces the result not consistent and it reinforces the belief. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So you set a goal that is inconsistent

with an identity you're working on. You set a goal that is inconsistent with an identity you're working on. You will only make an effort consistent with the identity, which will get you to hear, doesn't produce the result, and it reinforces this belief you have about yourself. So it's important as you set new goals, as you set new visions, that you also upgrade your identity simultaneously.

You're in process of upgrading it, because that identity impacts the effort you make, impacts the will you put towards it. And that will is reinforced by the lack of result. And so it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy. So your mind has this belief it wants to prove to be true, and it starts to find references. So if you believe you're 75 degrees,

it's going to start finding legs to put under that table to make it immobile so it can't move to prove you right. And so our identity equals our effort and the challenge is that effort produces the result. And so this identity has everything to do with the effort you make which produces the result which will reinforce the identity or the lack thereof. So it's critical that you upgrade identity with your new visions and goals. The next layer of this is you need to stop what's no longer needed. In other words, there were behaviors and thoughts you've had in the past

that were needed to produce the results you currently have. But you need to stop what's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a behavior in your life that's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a behavior in your life that's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a thought or a worry that at one time was needed but no longer is. Maybe there's a stress or an anxiety or a belief you're holding true to be about yourself that maybe you needed at some point in your life that you no longer need. It could be something to protect yourself from fear, to protect yourself from harm, or to serve you in getting through a certain circumstance. But if we're not conscious of dropping a

thought or a behavior that's no longer needed, we take old thoughts, old behaviors that serve an old version of ourselves into trying to become the new version of ourselves. So ask yourself that question, what do I need to drop that's no longer needed? Is it a person? Is it a thought? Is it a behavior or is it an emotion? One of those things you probably are carrying with you from the past that maybe you needed to get through a circumstance Maybe you needed to get through a relationship, through a setback, through a failure or just to produce the results you currently get But that thought, that behavior, that emotion, that person is no longer needed for you to

go to the next level of your identity, the next level of your performance, the next level of yourself. And then finally is this, if you're stuck, you're stuck in a story. That's where you're stuck. There's a story you're telling yourself that doesn't serve you anymore. And you have to evaluate what that story is. I'm serious, right? And if you say, Ed, I'm kind of stuck where I am.

Well, what you need to do is you need to alter your associations. You need to do something in a short window of time, no question about it. You definitely need to evaluate what is no longer needed and evaluate the story you're telling yourself. There's all kinds of stories we tell ourselves that don't serve us anymore. This is critical. Maybe it's a story about your past, a story about your parents, a story about a previous relationship, a story about a success you used to have you keep talking about that doesn't serve you to get to the next

level. If I can be real with you, whatever you've achieved up to this point, that story you keep talking about every second you spend in that old story about what you've achieved, your degree, some business you had, one thing you were real successful at in the past. Every time you live in that story, you're stripping time and focus from the new story. What's the new story you're telling yourself? You can't have a new identity without a new story. What's the old story you keep repeating? Maybe it's not a success.

Maybe it's a failure that you've had. It was a business setback It was the market turned. It was the economy It was someone who did you wrong a relationship that let you down a business partner who wasn't consistent a failure you've had a poor decision you made a Mistake you made in your life and you're repeating this story to yourself Simultaneously trying to create a new identity. You can't take that old story into the new identity. One of the things we have to do to create a new identity

is to begin to tell a new story. What's your new story? Who are you now? What are you all about now? Where are you going now? What's this new version of you? See, here's what's amazing. At any point in your life,

you can just decide to write a new script. You can decide to become a whole new character. See, the leading character in the story of your life is you. And guess what? You and God control the script. You can write a new script at any time you want. Listen to me. At any time you want, you can simply decide to be a new character. I'm strong now, I'm beautiful now, I'm handsome now, I'm bold now, I'm funny now, I'm smart now, I'm going there now. Stop telling the old story. Here's the truth, nobody cares. No one cares if you had a failure, no one cares if you've had a setback, no one cares if you had a victory, and none of those failures, none of those setbacks,

none of those victories, and that old character you keep playing is the very thing that will prevent you from becoming this new version of you. It's a story if you're stuck. It's an old story you're telling with an old character that was last year's version, last decade's version. Who's the new character? What's the new script? What's the new story?

I must tell you I have a lot of weaknesses, a lot of things I do that don't serve me. But this identity thing, I get this. It's the key. Now there's a lot of little mini things in life that matter, there's never one thing. If you said what's the key, I can tell you it's my addiction and my obsession to working on my identity. It's the thought of mine that dominates most of my thinking. That's number one. So I'm conscious of the concept. That's huge. Just being aware of the concept will put you light years ahead of 99.9% of it. Just awareness of

the power of identity. Just now you knowing about the thermostat puts you in the 0.1% of all the people on the spinning earth right now. And then the next thing I'm really focused on is always adding people to my life in the areas that matter to me that live at higher temperatures than me. The second thing is I'm constantly doing things in short bursts of time to change the waterline. I'm also super obsessed with dropping what's no longer needed. There were certain things I needed to think and do and say or people I needed to be around, emotions I needed to have that got me to the place I'm currently at. I'm

evaluating all the time. What is no longer needed? What emotion? What anxiety? What thought? What belief? What person? What behavior is no longer needed in my life. And then lastly, I never tell the old story. I don't like telling the old story. I'm constantly trying to write the new script, become the new character in my life, and it could just be the new emotions, it could be the new beliefs I have, it could be the new story, the new place I'm moving, but I'm constantly retelling a new story all the time. I'm constantly obsessed with writing the next chapter of my life, not reading the previous ones. The happiest and most fulfilled people don't

read the past chapters of their life, whether they're good or bad. They are writing new ones all the time. These are the keys of changing the internal thermostat of our lives and ultimately are the keys of changing the internal thermostat of our lives and ultimately are the keys of changing the external circumstances of our lives. I know today helped you. Hey, are you ready to jumpstart your wellness in 2025? I know it's like top three of my goals are all somehow related to my wellness. Here's who can help you. Lumen. Did you know that studies show that 80% of all resolutions are toast by February?

You can beat the odds with Lumen and improve your wellness. It gives me insights to create an ideal metabolism for my body. It's helped me in my case improve other aspects of my life as well and Lumen is the key to it. It's a device that helps you measure your metabolism through your breath and on the app it'll tell you if you're burning fat or carbs and it gives you tailored guidance to help you improve your nutrition, workouts, sleep and even stress management. Take the next step to helping to improve your health. Go to lumen.me slash Edmylet to get 20% off your lumen. That's

lumen, L-U-M-E-N dot me slash Edmylet for 20% off your purchase. Thank you lumen for sponsoring this episode. These statements and products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. This message is from sponsor Intuit Turbo Tax. Taxis was dealing with piles of paperwork and frustrating forms and then waiting and wondering and worrying if you were going to get any money back. Now Taxis is easily uploading your forms to a TurboTax expert who's matched to your

unique tax situation. An expert who's backed by the latest technology which cross-checks millions of data points for 100% accuracy. While they work on your taxes, you get real-time updates on their progress and you'll get the most money back guaranteed. All while you go about your day. No stressing, no waiting now this is taxes Intuit TurboTax get an expert now on TurboTax.com only available with TurboTax live full service real-time updates only an iOS mobile app see guaranteed details at

TurboTax.com forward slash guarantees. Very short intermission here folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today we're going to talk about patterns. Yes, every human being is almost runs like a software program in their mind and they run these patterns of behavior, patterns of thoughts, patterns of words,

patterns of performance. And most of these patterns run in our lives without us being conscious of them. And they steal from us our ability to be happier, to be more joyful, to produce at the highest levels, to engage with people the right way. And they create for us oftentimes in our life a disconnect between what our beliefs are

and actually how we behave. We call that cognitive dissonance oftentimes where we believe one thing, but we often behave differently. And that's because sometimes our patterns can even override our thoughts. And oftentimes in life, if we can just become conscious

that we do have these patterns, we begin to evaluate them and be aware these patterns. We begin to evaluate them and be aware of them. We can identify them when they rear their head and we can overcome them. We can create new patterns that serve us. And so the first thing I'm here to tell you today is that you do run a series of patterns in your life. You have a pattern of behavior. You have a pattern of producing results. There's certain stimulus that cause these patterns to happen for you and unless you begin to evaluate them

and be aware of them when they happen, these patterns begin to really take control of our lives. For some of you, even as I say this, you're nodding your head in awareness, you're sort of aware, I fall into these patterns of when something happens, I begin to think a certain way, which creates another thought and another behavior, and I find myself running this same story again. Or if I get into a disagreement with somebody a

pattern kicks in. Or if I have a failure a pattern kicks in. If I have a success a pattern kicks in. And so if we can become aware of these things it's a breakthrough in our lives. I think today could be one of the more powerful programs I've ever brought to you. It's just becoming aware of what some of these patterns are. Now before we get into those, I want to talk a little bit about what you really want. You know often in life just choosing the emotions we want. We've talked in a lot of my programs about the caliber of our life has everything to do with the caliber of the emotions we experience on

a regular level. We are our emotions and so the first thing I'd ask you to do with the caliber of the emotions we experience on a regular level. We are our emotions. And so the first thing I'd ask you to do is to start to use the power of choice in your life. Yes, you get to choose your life. You get to choose how you feel, not other people. There's these illusions in life. We really can't control anything other than our own thoughts, our own behavior, our own patterns. We can't control what other people do, say or think and it's this illusion of control oftentimes that we can somehow manipulate other people or manipulate

situations that cause us to fall into these patterns. But what we do have the power of in life is we have the power to choose and I say this to you because I'm somebody just like you, I struggle with the different patterns I have some of them serve me some of them don't I sometimes engage in thoughts that don't create the right emotions for me They don't serve me I know what it's like to be frustrated and angry and depressed and down and lost and fearful and worried Worries a big one for me I love to fall into the pattern of worry when certain

circumstances begin to happen. It creates a trigger and a pattern in me and man do I love to worry. And so I give you these tools and resources because these are things I too struggle with. I've been able to overcome them by just being aware and choosing. And so the first thing is the power of choice. Finish this sentence for me. I choose to be blissful rather than blank. I choose to be blissful rather than blank. What would your answer be? One of the emotions I challenge you

to experience more of in life is bliss. You know, we are the calibration of maybe the five emotions we experience on a regular basis. And so if you're experiencing depression, frustration, worry, fear, anxiety, experience on a regular basis. And so if you're experiencing depression, frustration, worry, fear, anxiety, pain on a regular basis, you're gonna have one life. If you're experiencing bliss and fulfillment and ecstasy and joy in your life

and contribution, recognition and significance, if you're experiencing love, you experience those emotions, you have a totally different life. We have the power to choose which emotions we want to experience. And so I love the emotion of bliss. I love the word bliss as you know. I have an audio that's out called Blissful Dissatisfaction that's a critically acclaimed

and a highly downloaded audio and video on being both blissfully dissatisfied, dissatisfied and desiring for more, but in a current state of bliss. I love the word bliss because of its definition. Its definition in Webster's is perfect happiness or joy. I love that. Webster's also says some of the synonyms for bliss are joy, pleasure, ecstasy, delight, happiness, euphoria, heaven, paradise, cloud nine, Utopia, Eden, these are all synonyms for the word bliss. I like how all of those sound.

Those are the noun versions in the Dictionary of Bliss. The verb, the action of being blissful, according to the dictionary is, to reach a state of perfect happiness, typically as to be oblivious to everything else. Wouldn't that be amazing, to be in perfect happiness and be oblivious to everything else. Wouldn't that be amazing, to be in perfect happiness and be oblivious to everything else? That's the verb or the action of being blissful.

And the antonym according to Webster's to bliss is misery. And the last thing we want to be is feeling misery. So it's the antithesis of misery. So I choose to be blissful rather than what? What if you could choose every day to be blissful? But oftentimes, we don't choose to be blissful rather than what? What if you could choose every day to be blissful? But oftentimes, we don't choose to be blissful because we choose to be right. We choose to win.

We choose to be significant. We choose to be in control. We make choices to try to experience other emotions. And by the way, all of these other emotions are typically outside of our control. Winning is outside of our control. Dominating is outside of our control. All of these things are something we of our control. Winning is outside of our control. Dominating is outside of our control. All of these things are something we can't control and we choose them over bliss.

But what if you just made a conscious decision right now? I choose bliss. I choose to be blissful rather than blank. And it's being aware of the other things you choose so that you can be conscious. When you go to choose those things you go for bliss instead and by the way not making a choice is a choice a non-decision is a decision if you don't choose consciously to begin to experience the emotions you want okay for me bliss is very important joy is very important peace is very important contribution is very important, peace is very important, contribution is very important,

connection is very important. What are the five emotions that if you could choose them you'd experience on a regular basis? Just take an inventory of that. You don't have to be perfect, they may change, there may be eight, but what are five ones right now? Say them out loud to yourself. What are the five ones you'd want? Is it love? Is it ecstasy? Is it joy? Is it passion? Is it intensity? Is it focus? Is it peace? Is it faith? What are the emotions you would choose? If you could choose five emotions and begin to tell yourself I choose to feel blank rather than this

and when you just begin to become conscious of that choice you've already moved ahead of 99.9% of the world who just responds and reacts and goes into pattern mode all the time. So just choosing gives you an advantage. And by the way, once again, not choosing is a choice. You've decided to go into your pattern. You've decided to let other people dictate to you your emotions. You've decided you have no control over your life by not choosing. So choose. I'd

rather be blissful than blank. I'd rather be joyful than blank. I'd rather have ecstasy than blank. What do you choose rather than? So now let's discuss these patterns for a second. Why do we have these patterns? You have patterns because they serve you. There's a payoff to every pattern. And by the way, you say, well no, because one of my patterns is I slip into worry, and then I'm completely unhappy. How's that a payoff for me?

It's a payoff for you because it's predictable. It's become your home. And so you don't have any pattern that doesn't give you a payoff. Well no, because when things don't go my way, I become combative, I become argumentative, that's my pattern, then I get in a disagreement in my relationship, and then I say things I don't mean.

How's there a payoff there for me? There's a payoff because it gets you what you want, even though you don't know it, it gets you out of the conversation, it gets you maybe to avoid your own responsibility, it gives you the disconnect that somehow you're more comfortable with than dealing with the problem. But I promise you, every pattern you have,

both healthy and unhealthy, you have them because there's a payoff for you. So the key to a happier life, the key to a more successful life is to evaluate our patterns, and when we see them happening, begin to step outside of them and create new ones that serve us.

And so what are some of the patterns you have, for example, that don't serve you? So for example, when a difficult situation arises, what is your pattern? What pattern mode do you go into? Do you become more resourceful, more focused, or do you become more fearful, worried, and you begin to make excuses?

When you get into a disagreement with a loved one, what is your pattern typically? Do you become more combative? Do you listen less and talk more? Does the pattern begin? You understand what I'm saying. Do you begin to run this program that you run in such a way that it puts you in a state you don't want to be in? When adversity strikes, when someone puts you down, when there's a hater, what pattern mode do you typically kick into? Do you start to repeat other negative thoughts? Do you replay videos in your mind of other people who have also said negative things to you in the past? Or other thoughts you have about yourself that are lonesome and you begin to stack

these thoughts? Oftentimes one person says something to us negative and it creates this pattern we run, doesn't it? We begin to think of another embarrassing moment, another person who saw something negative. We begin to create other negative thoughts about ourselves to stack it and you say, how's there a payoff for me in that? Because it's what you're used to. It pays you off by reassuring you, you're right, you're a loser. You're right, you're not going to win.

There's a payoff because guess what? Now you don't have to do the real work because you were never won anyway because you're this terribly unprepared person. So that's your payoff. And so you have these patterns, don't you? Now some people, their pattern kicks into winning. When someone puts them down, they start to buck up. They start to get resourceful. They start to feed themselves positive thoughts. They're aware of it that's there and they begin to go into a hyperproductive positive emotion mode. Yes, they do, believe it or not.

When adversity strikes for some people, they go into a fearful mode, they begin to think about all the things that could go worse and worse and worse and they depress themselves. And that pattern creates the very situations you fear. The same is true when we're successful. Sometimes, some people when they become successful, they go into a pattern when they begin to sabotage themselves and slow down and stop the behaviors that got them there. They begin to believe their own press clippings,

that they've arrived, they don't have to do the work they used to do. Maybe they begin to fall into patterns where they get their relationships out of sorts, and that's their pattern. Life starts to go well in business. My pattern is every time life goes well in business, I start having issues in my personal life.

And they sabotage the business success with their personal life. And that's a pattern they run. If it's happened more than once to you, it's not coincidental, it's a pattern. In my fitness life, you may say, every time I start to get super fit, it seems then I get ill, then I don't go to the gym for a week, then I start eating poorly and I'm back to where I was. If it's happened

more than once, it's a pattern, right? And so begin to evaluate these patterns you have that don't serve you and simply begin to choose to create new patterns, more empowering patterns, patterns that give you the emotions and the results you want to have in your life. You will be amazed at how many patterns you have. Your response to adversity, fear, success, mediocrity, criticism, strife in a relationship, your nutrition, your faith,

all of the different patterns you run. There is such power in beginning to separate and identify these patterns when they begin to repeat. Even as I'm saying it, I can feel you nodding your head. My gosh, I do have a pattern when I'm successful. Every time I climb up a little bit, I start this pattern where I sabotage, or I start to believe too much, or my relationships go sideways. Every time I start to get more fit, I somehow get ill or I somehow miss a day at the gym or that's the day my car breaks down. Every time I have a pattern

where I accumulate more money, I fall into this pattern where I save, save, save and then I spend it all on something I shouldn't. Or then I do something with money I shouldn't have or it seems like every time then a repair comes up or something with my kids. you're falling into these patterns there's massive power in beginning to understand that's not who you are I've done enough training with you if you haven't listened to my previous work please go back and listen to it you are not your possessions you are not your accomplishments you are not what other people say you are you are not what you

look like and guess what else you're not? You are not your patterns. But your life becomes a combination and a result of your patterns. The great thing about us is that we can change these patterns if we identify them. The pattern has no power over you once you know it's a program and a pattern running. The minute you start you go, I'm doing it again aren't I? I'm doing this thing I do every time I accumulate money. I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm doing this thing I do every time I accumulate money. I'm doing the same thing every time me and my spouse get in a disagreement. I'm doing the same thing every time I'm starting

to feel loved by somebody and I push them away. Every time things start to go bad financially, I spiral. Every time there's adversity, I do the same pattern where I start worrying. Every time I get fit, I do the same pattern. When you begin to see these things, you begin to to go, my gosh this isn't who I am. That's not your identity. There's a difference between your identity and your pattern. And the more you begin to build your identity, as I've talked about my other audios, and be

aware of patterns and then simply ask yourself when this comes up again in the future what pattern would serve me? What pattern can I take control of? What would be the steps I need to take that will create the bliss I want or the win I want or the production I want? What would the pattern need to be? The pattern immediately, by the way, stops when you identify it. The pattern only hurts you when it runs unconsciously. The pattern loses all its power over you once you see it. It's gone. It can't continue to run once you're aware of it

because all of a sudden you're like, I know what I'm doing, here I go. And you can begin to identify it and make a shift. So this is so critical. Start to ask yourself, am I running one of these patterns? What are some of the ones I typically do that serve me? And what are the ones that don't serve me? And what we do in our life is we compare too much.

And so remember this, you're working on your identity, okay? Everybody wears what I would call like a mask, a public mask, or even a social mask. It's the person they present themselves to be. You do it too, I do it as well. It's the person everybody thinks we are and so it's the person we reveal to the public. It's not whom we really are, it's not our real thoughts, our real behaviors, our real hope. Everybody wears this public mask or this social mask I call it, wear there. It's who they want everybody to think they are. It's the

best put version of themselves and if you're not careful, you begin to compare your own real identity with other people's public mask. And this begins to create a pattern for you. Don't compare yourself. Most of the people you see on social media or even in your personal life or even when you go to lunch with them or see them at work, they're wearing what I would call a public mask. It's the best possible version that they can put out to themselves. And oftentimes what we do in life is we compare our real identity that we're working on and we're growing to their mask and that's not fair to ourselves at

all. Any comparison doesn't serve us and it's oftentimes this comparison when you're in a disagreement with somebody. It's the mask they're wearing compared to the identity you have and then you begin to run a pattern to respond to it. It happens in in fitness, in relationships, in money and in business. Remember you're in charge of controlling your own identity and growing your own identity and being aware of the patterns you have that do and do not serve you. Not comparing yourself to someone else's public representative. It's just the representative they're putting out there. It's not who they really are and it's

not something that you need to be aware of because it's not something you can control. The more you can begin to delineate in life between things I can control and I cannot control, would be to the extent that you're more productive and you're happier. You can control your own thoughts, your own emotions, your own identity, and your own patterns, not other people's. So speaking of these payoffs we talked about earlier, how can you begin to get the payoff you want from the new empowering pattern? And so a couple questions I want you to ask yourself today because we do want more bliss. Since that's my word, I'm assuming you want more bliss after you've heard all the synonyms and I know you want the

antithesis to misery. So assuming you want more bliss in your life, decide to have it and take some actions towards getting it So let me ask you a question. What are you doing currently to create more bliss in your life? What are the actions you're taking to give yourself more bliss you are? Intentionally seeking more bliss because bliss is gonna lead to more wealth more abundance more fitness more faith better relationships more happiness more peace more wins more more fitness, more faith, better relationships, more happiness, more peace, more wins, more success, more recognition, more significance.

So what are you consciously doing now that you've chosen bliss, what is the consistent action you're taking to create more in your life? What are you doing to give yourself bliss? Is it acknowledging victories you have? Is it giving gifts to other people of your belief and your hope? Is it acknowledging victories you have? Is it giving gifts to other people of your belief and your hope? Is it lifting other people up? Is it taking a

bath, getting a massage, taking a walk, going for a workout, winning, achieving, knocking goals off your list? What are the things you're doing to create bliss in your own life, number one? Number two question I have for you, what are you doing to intentionally create bliss in the lives of the people that you care about? Because this is the pathway to getting more of it ourselves. The more we begin to give other people bliss, the more we begin to consciously make choices that give bliss to other people in their lives, the more we begin to experience it in abundance

ourselves. So what are you doing to help other people win? Other people contribute. Other people get significance and recognition, other people have more peace and ecstasy and joy and passion in their lives. Because once you begin to create it for other people, when you're intentional about it, you'll have more of it yourself. These are the patterns that I'd like to see kick in for you. That when they kick in, you begin to run a pattern and a program that leads you to bliss, leads you to a win, leads you to increase, and also leads to it with someone in your life.

That if you do have a conflict with somebody, that you run a pattern that eventually leads, maybe it's understanding them, maybe it's confronting them, maybe it's talking about it. It's not always when you're in a disagreement that you lead to a win, that you must win this, that you must overcome the fact that they think this of you. What if you were consciously choosing every time you got into a disagreement with your spouse, this will eventually lead to more bliss. At least that was your outcome. Now the steps you take, it's probably going to be ugly in the beginning, you're probably going to have to have some understanding, you may not even

agree on everything. But if your intention is that it leads to bliss, rather than you winning, rather than you controlling them, rather than you making it go away, rather than you running a pattern. If when you're beginning to succeed in business, if your outcome is more bliss, more winning, you'll run a pattern that does more of that. If in your fitness you're getting fit past where you've ever been before and you're making a conscious decision, how can I get more bliss out of my fitness rather than running this other pattern of sabotage. Let's see, the circumstances may be the same, there may be some ugly patches but you're now consciously choosing to run a program and a pattern that leads you to

bliss, to victory, to the win, to fulfillment, whatever the emotion is you choose, just making that choice gets you there, gets you closer to it, makes it an outcome. We are not as human beings doing enough conscious choosing of what we want in our lives. So what are you doing to create bliss in your own life? What are you doing to create bliss in other people's lives? And how blissful are you to be around? Just ask yourself that too. How blissful am I to be around? How joyful am I to be around? Just ask yourself that too. How blissful am I to be around? How joyful am I to be around?

How much are people winning when they're around me? Whatever the emotion is you choose, how much of that do people experience when they're around me? People are great now, because there's all this stuff in personal development about choosing to win, choosing your outcome, choosing your schedule, choosing your habits.

I'm the master of teaching this. Go back through my content. Nobody puts out more specific content in teaching people the tools of how to choose the right habits, the right rituals, the right thinking, programming your brain. I do that at a level far beyond anybody out there. I'm not one of these influencers who just repeats, you know, mindless memes all the time, or I don't repeat the same sayings over and over again. I don't just tell you very basic things you could read in any book or go to any seminar. I go very deep, very tactical, very strategic, but having said all of that, no one's talking about choosing the intentional emotion we want, which is why we do all this stuff in the first place? So that when the stimulus happens, the win or the loss, the adversity or the success,

the disagreement or the tragedy, consciously choosing in that moment to chase bliss anyway, that it may be a while till I get to it, but this pattern I'm going to run, the choices I will make, the decisions I choose, even though there may be some bumps between there, the end result is going to be more bliss. Choosing that emotion as your outcome. And remember, not choosing it is a choice. You've chosen to let an unconscious pattern run. And you know where that's gotten you.

It's gotten to where you are right now listening to this. Whatever it is, good, bad or indifferent in your life, your current level of happiness, of joy, of success, of fulfillment is exactly what you think you deserve. It's exactly what you think you're worth. It's a hard thing to accept, but in our lives, we are getting out of our life right now exactly what we believe we're worthy of, exactly what we think we deserve. Our life is a direct reflection of our identity, which is the thoughts, concepts, beliefs, values, and worth we hold true to be about ourselves. And so as hard as it is to accept, we're getting out of life right now what we believe we're worth.

And we believe we're worth it because of these patterns and our identity and our lack of choosing to have what we want, not just the material things, not just the body fat, not just the body weight, not just the amount of money, not just having the relationship, but choosing the emotion we want. The level above all this stuff I discuss,

and the level way down here where the people just cover the basic stuff, then there's what I've been covering. The highest level is to choose the emotions we want to experience and to begin to run patterns that serve us and eliminate the ones who move us further from them. The final thing I want you to ask yourself today is we're talking a lot about these choices.

I want you to evaluate for a second what these patterns are you're running and when they begin to rear their head, just identify them and begin to make decisions and choices that create a new pattern. That's as simple as it is, it's not that complicated. You fall into these patterns because there's a payoff. And so as long as you begin to identify it when it's happening and you begin to create a new pattern that leads you to the choice you've chosen,

which is the emotion you want. See, because these patterns you run that don't get you there, the minute you choose the emotion you want, you're conscious about it and intentional, you can't run this pattern once you identify it. And the power of choice is critical in our lives. I want you to think about something right now. What are five of the most important choices you've made in your life?

Just think about that for a second. Begin to list them off in your head. Five of the most important choices you've made in your life. Maybe it was a decision to get involved in a particular business or to leave a particular business. Maybe it was a decision to get involved with a particular person or to become uninvolved with a particular person. Maybe it was a friend that you chose to walk across the room and meet and it changed your life. Maybe it was a friend that you had to walk away from in order to improve your life. What are the five most important choices

of your life? Just think about them for a second. And if you altered those five choices, good, bad, or indifferent, how different would your life be today? Because I'm a believer that there's everyday choices we make that when you stack them up they make a massive difference in our life but I'm also believer that there are between five and ten a handful of moments in everybody's life that if we make the proper choices in those moments the complete trajectory of our life changes and I think as you just asked yourself

that question you may say there haven't been five, there's been two. What were they? And how'd they alter the direction of your life? Good, bad, or indifferent? Lady that picked me up a few weeks ago, an Uber driver, wonderful woman, but she was an older lady and it was late at night when she picked me up and I asked her why she was doing what she was doing. It wasn't that she was driving for Uber

because that's a choice and I have friends that do it, love it, it's extra money, they've done it in retirement. But I just had a sense that maybe she hadn't chosen it. Because she was complaining about her back and that she had had back surgery. I thought that's an interesting choice to be driving at 11 o'clock at night and her back was sore.

And she shared with me that she had chosen to leave a spouse earlier in her life that she wished she'd stayed with. And that it was a choice that altered the whole direction of her life. And I said, well, how did it alter the direction of your life? And she says, well, my ex, I moved away from my ex and my son wasn't around his father very much. And she said, I had no idea how that choice would impact him. But she said, the reason that I that choice would impact him but she said the reason that I'm driving here and I moved is I lost my home and I lost my home

because my 18 year old son one night chose to have a couple drinks and he had had three drinks at our house and I was at work and my son chose to take the car out of the driveway and he chose to drive. And two blocks from our house, he hit a family and killed somebody while drinking and driving. My son was a good boy. He had always got good grades,

and he made the choice to do that that night, and he's in prison. He's serving eight years in prison. And I lost my home over the legal expenses, and we've moved to Las Vegas Vegas and now I drive an Uber because that's what I've got to do just to support my family. And it made me think, you know,

she said the choice to leave my husband really affected my son. And I thought, yeah, the choice your son made really affected his life. Those were two life choices that both of them made that altered the direction of both of their lives. His choice, that good boy made one choice that altered the direction of both of their lives. His choice, that good boy made one choice that altered the direction of his life.

And I think if you evaluate, there may not be something that dramatic, but there's been probably five choices if you're my age, if you're in your 40s. There's probably been five major choices of your life. Maybe it's who you decided to marry or not marry, a relationship you got in or out of, a business you started or didn't start,

something you left or began, a friend, a house you bought or didn't buy, an investment you did or didn't make, you know, a decision you made in your fitness one way or the other. Maybe it's stopping using alcohol or using too much alcohol, the first time you tried a drug that you're now addicted to. I don't know what those choices are. But those handful of choices alter the direction of your life. And I want you to begin to become conscious of choosing the emotions you want

because they will alter the choices you make every single day in the small choices. They will also alter the decisions you make on the five big ones in your life. If you're very clear about the emotions you want to experience, if you're very clear on the person you are as you build your identity, if you have those two things wired,

I'm clear about the emotions I want to experience and I'm clear about who I am and my identity and my worth and what I'm worthy of and what I deserve, they will guide you in making the right choices in the small ones and the big ones. They will guide you towards the right patterns. The answer to changing these patterns, the answer to making the right choices is perfect and specific clarity on the emotions we want to have in our life

on a regular basis and on who we are and our identity so that we produce the lives we believe we deserve that we're worthy of. They will be your compass in making the small and big choices. They will be your compass in making the small and big choices. They will help guide the patterns. If you're somebody who's addicted to being blissful and happy and you begin to run a pattern and program that you know doesn't lead you there, it sort of blows it up. It's like a virus in the program. You'll

be aware and you can't run it. You begin to choose to create new patterns. If you've got an identity of somebody who's worthy of great relationships and abundance and success and peace and fitness and health and all of the great things, if that's your identity, you won't be able to run patterns that lead you in this place on a regular basis. There is something called cognitive dissonance

which is when we begin to behave in a way that's not consistent with our thoughts and the Antidote to that is both of these things combined It's the ability to begin to choose consciously the emotions we want combined with our identity When you're conscious of choosing the emotions you want to experience and you're completely conscious of choosing who you are and what you're worthy of Deserving you have to act in congruence with both of those combined. One missing from the other can cause us to make poor choices. Both of them missing is a choice not to choose and will lead us into pain and mediocrity,

worry, fear, and all the emotions we don't want. Having one of them in place will guide you to a decent destination. But when you have both combined combined the identity and the choosing, the conscious intentions for the emotions you want, you begin to have great choices being made in your life on a very regular basis. Not every day, not every time, not every moment, but enough of the time where you make progress towards your dreams, progress towards the man or woman you're capable of becoming. And when you have the combination of these two things, these patterns begin to change.

We begin to replace them. So I'd ask yourself today, what are the patterns you're running that don't serve you? Begin to be aware of those patterns. Know who your real identity is. Get conscious of choosing bliss over blank. See those patterns when they're happening. Interrupt them. Continue to work on your identity. These two things combined I think are the critical

components to making the decisions and the choices in our life. So when we look back, I don't want you to end up in your 80s or 90s and regret the choices you made. I want you to go back, I put it through what I call the rocking chair test, that someday for all of you who I love so much who I believe in So much I want that rocking chair test for you For you to pass it and that is I'm proud of the choices. I made my life wasn't perfect I made some mistakes, but I chose the emotions. I wanted I worked on my identity I created patterns that empowered me and the people around me and you know what by and large

I'm proud of the choices. I made in my life, I'm proud of the choices I made in my life. I'm proud of the man or woman I've become. That's how we know we've had a great life. I don't want you to be in that rocking chair someday and regret the choices you made, regret the patterns you ran, and that you just unconsciously went through your life without choosing the direction of it,

choosing the decisions, choosing the emotions, choosing to be the man or woman you're worthy of, choosing the life you deserve. The final piece of the puzzle today is what are the three to five choices you must make in order to create the life you want? Right now, what are the choices you must make? The big ones, the people that need to be in your life or out of your life, the patterns you will no longer run again, the choice perhaps to work on your identity like you never have before.

Evaluate what the three to five decisions are you've made so far in your life that have taken you a certain direction, or what are the three to five you need to make in order to change your life and take it in the direction you want. These patterns will lose their power over you. Your identity and your conscious choice

will begin to take charge, and I know you're gonna have more happiness and produce more results and have a much better life and that's what I wish for you. So I have a funny feeling that today impacted you on a deep level because we all have these patterns we need to look at. We all need to consciously choose the emotions we want and I have a feeling that it made a difference in your life. If I'm right about it please share the program. It's free. All right it's that time here it's cold out. One of my favorite things I've gone back to is hot chocolate. I'm doing that all the time right now and I love laying on the couch with

a blanket on when it's cold out. Watch a little football or some Netflix. Yes, I do do those things in my downtime, but you probably need more than that for the cold weather and that's where the ultimate cold weather necessity company comes in. Quince. With Quince you can treat yourself to true quality at an affordable price. Their super soft fleece sweatpants are major upgrade to whatever you're lounging around in right now. They're comfy and cozy. I wore them Sunday watching football. All Quince items are priced 50 to 80 percent less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories and cutting out all the middlemen

quince passes the savings on to you luxuriate and coziness without the luxury price tag go to quince.com slash ed for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order that's quince q u i n c e dot com slash ed to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Ed. This message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save,

spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real-time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk-free at greenlight.com slash pod. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify.

Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. See, here's the thing. If you're feeling helpless, one of the anecdotes to feeling helpless is to get more helpful. And one of the ways you can be most helpful is to raise your own identity. Our identity is the core part of our lives. We're not going to outperform our identity. Our identity, best said, is it's the thoughts, concepts concepts and beliefs we hold to be the most true about ourselves It's really the invisible force in all of our lives That holds us back or can accelerate our success our bliss our achievements to whole new levels

If you look at identity if you think about it, it's almost like it's the it's a life thermostat see in this room right now There's a thermostat sitting on that wall right now And if it's set at 75 degrees this room is going to be regulated to 75 degrees no matter what the external conditions are it could be a hundred degrees outside the external factors do not impact the internal thermostat in this room at 75 degrees consequently also if it was 40 degrees outside the heater will come on it'll heat this room to 75 degrees that's how your identity works it's the internal thermostat of your life and that's why very often, let's say that you

know relationships or financially you're a 75 degree-er and if you ever notice in your life is you start to heat life up a little bit, starts to go pretty well. Maybe your relationships blissful and loving and incredible or financially you've increased your results, you're at 80, 85, 90, 100 degrees of success financially or in business and then it just seems coincidental but somehow, some way, the air conditioner kicks on in our lives, you know, a car breaks down, an event happens, we lose an account, something takes place and all of a sudden we look up and boom, life's back at 75 degrees of relationship, of money, of business.

That wasn't by coincidence. It is the regulator of your life, is your identity. And so if you you can do all the right things, all the activities, all of the thinking, all of the execution part, but if you don't increase what you believe you're worth, if you don't increase that identity, that thermostat of your life, you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you deserve. And so one of the keys for me in my life is not just getting better at the mindset of life and the execution of business or strategy, but raising that identity so that I'm at 85, 90, 100, 120

degrees, so that I believe I'm worthy of as my execution and my thinking reaches the same level, that thermostat setting, that life setting will change. It's not the external conditions of our life that dictate the terms, it's that identity, it's that thermostat setting. So we got to get more helpful if we feel helpless and the way we do that is by increasing our own identity, that thermostat setting. That sounds great doesn't it? So how do you do that? Well I call it the holy trilogy of shifting one's identity and that is faith, intention, and association. That's the three things you must work on in order to increase your thermostat

setting. Number one, faith. For me, it's the center part of my life is that I have a God who loves me, that believes in me, that wants to see me successful, wants to see me prosper, wants to have favor in my life, wants me to feel comfort and peace. And so I find oftentimes it's interesting people of faith sometimes. God's in their life Sunday at church when they're worshiping or they're in Bible study or when they're eating a meal they'll pray over it. But somehow when they walk into a business meeting, a speech, a boardroom, a client environment, they leave God at the door and they think they're on their

own. So for me if you're a person of faith and God is with you all the time and he loves you all the time and God is with you all the time and he loves you all the time and he comforts you all the time, that includes business, that includes every area of your life, it includes him wanting to bless you with a great relationship, bless you financially, bless you to the best of your abilities in business and then whatever the other. If you're an athlete watching this, bless you in that at-bat, over that pot, catching that football, hitting that shot. And so number one source of shifting your thermostat study

is reconnecting again with your faith and allowing yourself to feel it inside all the other environments that exist. Then there's number two, there's your intentions. See, I don't think enough people give themselves credit for having great intention. There's a power to intention in our lives. And so what most of us think is,

I'll feel better about myself or I'll be more confident when, when I get that job, when I get that relationship, when I get this amount of money, when I get that house, when I hit that home run, when I'm hitting a certain average, right? And so you're always chasing your tail. If your identity and your confidence is contingent upon producing a result that has not yet existed, it's pretty difficult to catch it isn't if you have to have it to get it in the first place. Instead of saying, maybe I ought to get credit and I ought to be worthy of more because I intend to do well.

As a young man in business, I started to figure out, you know, I may not have all the answers. I may not be the smartest, the best looking, the most articulate, my IQ isn't 250, but I intend to serve. I intend to make a difference. I make mistakes, but overall I'm a good person who wants to do good in the world and I should be favored because of that. Not enough of you are giving yourself credit for your intentions. You want to shift your identity overnight, connect

with your faith. You want to double shift it, connect with your intentions. So when I go into a business meeting, or I go into a business meeting or I go into a lunch or I'm going into any type of encounter, even in my golf life, in my sport I play, I remind myself that I've got a God who loves me, who wants me to win, who wants me to be blessed, who wants me to be favored, who wants me to feel peace. Number two, I intend to do good. I'm a decent human being and you know what, good things ought to happen to good people. And then third is association. You are who you hang around. See if you're a 85 degree or 75 degree financially, but you start hanging around someone say like myself who lives at 100 to 40, 150 degrees of finances and wealth and abundance, you will get heated

up by proximity to somewhere in between the two of us and a lot closer to where I am than where you are. Same thing in relationships, if you want to have a great loving relationship in your life, but you're living at 75 degrees in your relationships, you start hanging around people who are in loving beautiful relationships, your thermostat setting will increase. Same within your faith life, if you want to start walking with more faith in your 75 degrees of faith, if you start hanging around people who walk their faith life at 100-150 degrees, you'll be heated up through proximity. And so these are the three things we do in order to shift our lives. Our identity is the governor

on our life. It is the most powerful force in the world. It's the invisible force that governs everything is that thermostat setting. And then if that's true, the way we shift it is always going to be our faith, our intentions, and our associations. And those associations are so huge. I know you've all heard, you're you know, you're the product of who you hang around the most often, but look at the last 90 days of your life. Okay, and ask yourself this question. Other than say your spouse or children, who are the two or three, four people you've spent the most time with? Picture their faces and their lives right now, and then I want you to measure one thing.

What's their emotional maturity like? See, what I find with all successful people is they have a degree of emotional maturity that other people are absent of. So I always measure, what's their emotional maturity? How do they handle success? How do they handle failure? How do they handle their lives? Then ask yourself this. These three or four people you've been around, can you immediately name two or three things that they have in their life in an area that matters to you? Let's say it's money, let's just say it was money, that they have that you don't have that you wish you did have. Or in relationships, can you name two or three things in their relationships that they have that you wish you had?

Or in business, or in their physical body? And if you can't immediately go, yeah they got two, three four things, man, I would love to have that in my life. Then I'm not so sure that that's the person you ought to spend the most time with. The reverse question is also, hey, can you name two or three things they have that you definitely don't want? When you look at their financial life, if finances are important to you, do they have two or three things going on in their life financially you definitely want no part of? Or in their relationship life, you know, if you want a better relationship, if you look at the relationship, there are two or three

things like, I wouldn't want that relationship, I don't like the way he or she treats them or they get treated. You can look at that or their physical body. You want to be in really great shape, you look at them. Do they have two or three things about their health or wellness that you don't think are really great? Well that's an immediate sign maybe they're the wrong people. And so taking an evaluation of who your associations are, are they emotionally mature? do they have the two or three things you would like to have in your life, they have in theirs that you'd like to get heated up and get, or do they have two or three things you want to avoid. These are signs that you

should be away from them. So the way we get more helpful is we increase our identity and we increase our identity by working on our faith, our intention, and our associations. If you do those three things, I believe you're going to live happier, you're going to help other people become happier, you're going to make a contribution in people's lives that's deeper and more meaningful than you've ever made before. And by the way, lastly, that's what you were put here to do. You were put here, you were born to do something great with your life,

in small ways and big ways. You were made to do something awesome with your life. Maybe not all of it's going to get limelight or notoriety, but you were born to make a difference in the world. And the more you realize that, the more you step into your intention, the more you step into the person you're capable to becoming, the more you just decide, I'm raising that thermostat setting, I'm no longer this other character I was playing. At any point you and God are the authors of the life of your life, you can grab the pen and start to write a new chapter and say, I'm

stepping into this new character, their identity is higher, they're more faithful, they're focused on their intentions more often, they improve their associations and they help people. Well I hope I'm doing that for you. Today we're going to talk about how to build unlimited self-confidence and the reason that I'm covering this topic today is probably more than any other topic I've been getting asked lately about the struggles people are going through with self-doubt, not believing in themselves,

negative thoughts about themselves. And I believe the solution to self-doubt is to build something bigger than that doubt, which is to build our self-confidence. And one thing to know about the fact that you doubt yourself is one, I struggle with it as well. One of the reasons I've had to go learn to build all these tools for myself is because in my life,

my baseball career, my academic career, my business career, my speaking career, I've been riddled with self-doubt. That creeps up all the time in our lives. Am I enough? Am I good enough? Do I deserve this? Is this something that's part of my destiny? Should I be doing this? If you're a religious person, I believe the adversary, if you believe in the adversary, I believe the adversary's greatest tool that he could use against you to get you to lose in your life is to get you discouraged and doubting. These are two of the most chaotic things that the adversary can do to us or that we do to ourselves in our own minds is to get ourselves doubting, to get ourselves discouraged,

because you can't win when you doubt, and you can't win when you're discouraged. What I found out though about self-doubt is that you don't overcome it, you build something bigger than it, which means you build your self-confidence, and the greater and greater your self-confidence get, it minimizes the impact self-doubt has on us.

Now why is that so important? It's important because you have to understand one thing about the doubts and the negative thoughts you have about yourself. As hard as this is to accept, these are not your thoughts. You weren't born doubting. You weren't born discouraged. You weren't born thinking negative things about yourself.

Those were thoughts that were placed in you and given to you by an external source at some time in your life. It could even be our parents. Don't do that. Be quiet. Sit down. Be a good boy. Be a good girl. Maybe it was criticism you received as a little one that you may not even remember to this day. It could have been a schoolteacher. It could have been ridicule at school from other children. But when you were young in your formative years, these negative thoughts about yourself were planted in you by an external source.

That's so powerful to understand because these things you think you believe about yourself that have become really true to you, you don't even really believe they were not your original thoughts. But the power of belief is so incredible in our lives. It's so insidious because when we have a belief about something, even if it was given to us by somebody else, our mind goes to work on proving to us that this belief is true. A belief is almost like this table

right here, just the top once we get it. And what our mind tries to do is it tries to build legs under the table to reinforce that belief. So if somebody told you you weren't enough or you weren't smart enough or pretty enough or fast enough or strong enough or you don't come from the right place or you're not in the right culture, the right race, the right religion, the right height, the right IQ as a young person or you were put down and these beliefs were given to you, what happens is your mind tries to prove beliefs true so it finds references. So once you think it, your mind finds an example of your life where you weren't enough. Another one where you

weren't enough. You weren't smart enough. You weren't pretty enough. You weren't handsome enough. You weren't strong enough. And it finds these references and it builds like a leg and multiple legs on a table and pretty soon you can't move it and it's stuck in there as a firm belief. That's why we have to guard our beliefs so preciously because our mind goes to work on finding these legs, these references, which are real experiences in our lives to prove to us that that belief is true. And so although you may believe it to be true about you, these doubts and negative thoughts you have, these were not your original thoughts. That's a powerful thing to understand because you weren't born this way. You weren't born

doubting. You were born perfect. You were born believing you were going to do something great. You were born happy. You were born believing you were going to do something special with your life. As a baby, I promise you, you had no negative self-talk. You had no negative self-doubt. These are external sources. So important to know because those thoughts aren't really who you are. There's somebody else's thoughts they gave you because of how they felt about themselves. And so today we're gonna talk about how to build self-confidence and how to eliminate self-doubt. So how do we build this self-confidence? The process of building self-confidence is actually

very easy, believe it or not. Self-confidence is self-trust. Self-confidence is actually very easy, believe it or not. Self-confidence is self-trust. Self-confidence is building a reputation with yourself that you keep your word to you, that you keep the promises you make to you. When I meet somebody who has a ton of self-confidence, I don't look at that as somebody with a big ego. There's a difference. Somebody with self-confidence has a reputation with themselves that I do the things I say I'm going to do.

That's where self-confidence comes from. When I meet someone who's not self-confident, I know this is someone who has consistently made promises to themselves they've not kept. They've started a diet and done it for a while, but not kept it. They've made a commitment and goals to go make a certain amount of money in business,

and they started down the road, but then they didn't deliver on it long term, to get up at a certain time in the morning, and then they don't do it. And so they have a process and a habit in their life more often than not of not keeping the promises they don't make to other people they don't keep the promises they make to themselves and so the cool thing is self-confidence is an internal game you do not need external accolades external admiration in order to build self-confidence you don't need any of those external forces.

It's all done internally. You control this. And you control this by beginning today to keep the promises you make to yourself. And you have to stack the deck in your favor. Stack the game so you win. It's not good enough just to keep the promises you make to yourself.

You must acknowledge it when you do it to you to give yourself credit to create confidence momentum is what I call it So whether that's setting the deck where you're gonna get up a little bit earlier You're gonna make a certain amount of phone calls your business a certain amount of appointments You're gonna eat a certain amount of calories in your fitness You're gonna spend a certain amount of time with your children or your parents and you begin to do these things You say you're going to be say simple things like I'm gonna lay out my clothes the night before I go to bed every night, before I go to sleep so when I wake up that decision's made for me.

And believe it or not, the fact that you just do something that simple that you then deliver on begins to build confidence. You say I'm gonna stretch in the morning when I get up and you do it all of a sudden. I'm not gonna check my phone for 30 minutes. All these habits I teach. When you just begin to do the things you tell yourself you're going to do, you begin to build self-confidence, which is this reputation with yourself. So ask yourself a question right now. What is one thing right now, one promise I can make to myself that I'm going to begin to keep starting this minute

and begin to do it? It could be how often I'm going to pick up a book and read it. But you begin to stack things you commit to do and then you deliver on them and you acknowledge them to yourself. You're in the process of building self-confidence. Why is that so important? Of all the athletes I coach, when my athletes are performing at their peak level, they're at their highest self-confidence level. In fact, I love when I watch some of the athletes I coach get interviewed and they kind of do this aw- shucks, humble routine in their pro skate interviews. Yeah, you know, just part of the team, you know, I got a lot, I could have done a lot better today. But inside, I know these people are incredibly

self-confident people. Any of you athletes listening to this, you know this, the great athletes you know have incredible amounts of self-confidence. You have to believe in you when it's a battle, when you're a hitter against a pitcher, or when you're a quarterback against a defense or you're a defenseman in the NHL against their best offensive player or you're a golfer and you have to make a nine-foot putt to win a tournament, right? You better have self-confidence. In fact, the separator more often than not at the highest level in sports is not they're a better shooter or a better putter or

throw the ball a little bit faster because everybody throws hard in the major leagues nowadays it seems, right? That separator's their self-confidence. It's true in being a parent. It's true in being a business person. It's true in every area of our life. The separator at the top levels is self-confidence. So now you have that first thing

that you're gonna commit to that you're gonna deliver on. Now what I would ask you to do that now that you've done that is if you really wanna build self-confidence, can you commit to, that you're gonna deliver on. Now what I would ask you to do, that now that you've done that, is if you really wanna build self-confidence, can you begin to extend that list of five, eight, and 10 things that you are going to begin to do, that you commit to you, that you're gonna do every single day to begin to stock that self-confidence.

That's gonna change it. Now let's go back to the self-doubt for a second. Self-doubt is the inverse of that. I don't trust me. I don't think I'm good enough. These are thoughts placed from the outside inside your mind. The minute you acknowledge that,

that's not my thought, that's someone else's. That's not, you begin to eliminate, I call it like scratching the CD. When I begin to have negative self-talk, negative thoughts, I literally picture, and I'm old, by the way, but I picture an old record player or a DVD and I just scratch it.

I scratch it, that thought gets scratched. I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not good looking enough. I'm not fast enough, strong enough, I'm not prepared enough. Once they enter, that's not my thought, that's something someone gave me when I was a kid and I scratch it.

And I literally say to myself, scratch it, scratch it, scratch it. And over time, it's like a DVD or a CD or a record player, over time that thought can't be played again in your recorder when you scratch it enough times. So I literally picture scratching and I say scratch it. I experience self doubt, I experience negative thoughts and I scratch them, I scratch them, I scratch them.

And over time, it almost becomes funny, it's that thought's impact on me starts to be minimized over time. Every time I scratch it, I picture scratching it like a DVD or a record or a CD, and I say it to myself, scratch it, scratch it, scratch it. And what it does is it acknowledges the thought, it loses its power over me. The first time it's still got some impact on me. The second time it might, but the fourth, fifth, seventh time, all of a sudden that thought just doesn't have the impact on me anymore because I acknowledge it's not mine, I've scratched it, and over time my

mind just doesn't want to play that song anymore, doesn't want to play that movie anymore. And so that's how I begin to eliminate those thoughts in my mind. I build up my self-confidence and I scratch my self-doubt. There's also this misconception from people that you are certain things. Meaning, some people have this misconception that I am what I possess. In other words, I am my possessions. And so they link their self-confidence to their possessions.

And so they're constantly trying to acquire more and more possessions, thinking that's where they get their self-confidence from. That's how they're defined as a person. I am my possessions Couldn't be further from the truth. It's a hollow way to try to gain self-confidence by possessing things Nothing wrong with going for material possessions I have all kinds of them, but I don't link my confidence to those possessions

Nor am I diluted into thinking if I could just possess more things then I'll feel better about myself So this is a mistake. There's a flawed thought number one flawed thought I am my possessions nor am I deluded into thinking if I could just possess more things then I'll feel better about myself. So this is a mistake. There's a flawed thought. Number one flawed thought, I am my possessions. Second flawed thought, I am my accomplishments. In other words, my self-confidence is only linked to what I'll accomplish. So because I haven't accomplished certain things, I don't have that certain title, that

certain award, that certain recognition, I don't believe in myself. I'm riddled with self-doubt. I'm defined by my accomplishments. The difficult thing about that is now all your life you're gonna have to accomplish more and more and more in order to feel self-confident, eliminate self-doubt. You are not your accomplishments. You are not your possessions. You are you. You are perfect. You are beautiful. You were born to do something great with your life. If you're a person of faith like me, you believe God made you in his image and likeness

and wants you to do something great with your life, not that you are your possessions, not that you are your accomplishments, and this is the social media insidious influence it has in our lives, people think, I don't feel good about myself, I've got this self-doubt. The gateway to me feeling more self confidence is if I could possess more things,

or if I could accomplish more things. Yes, having nice things will make you feel better about yourself. Yes, accomplishing things certainly is a reinforcement for self confidence, but it's not the pathway to getting it. The pathway to getting it is doing something great with your life where you keep the promises you make to yourself and acknowledge this self-doubt, this self-thought, this negative talk isn't

even mine. It was given to me when it was impossible for me to defend myself as a child. And maybe it even happened in adolescence and probably some of those instances have happened for you as an adult. And these ones as an adult are like that thing I said earlier, oh it's another time I reinforce the table I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not prepared enough. I'm not the right race. I'm not the right gender I don't come from the right kind of family I don't have the right education and we find these references as adults to reinforce these self-doubting beliefs We were given by somebody else as a child flawed belief is that you are your possessions

You are your accomplishments. Third flawed belief, I am what other people say I am. Wrong, you are not what other people say you are. Good or bad, I see too many people that if someone says something negative about them, they believe that's who they are. This is the flawed third belief. I am my possessions, I am my accomplishments, and you know what, or I am what other people say I am.

Let me be clear with you, you are not what other people tell you you are. It wasn't true when you were 18 months old, 5 years old, or 55 years old. You are not what other people say you are. So stop letting that dictate your self-confidence or fill you with self-doubt. And for the record, you are also not the good things people tell you you are all the time. Don't live for likes. Don't live for comments on your social media. Don't do things in your life just to solicit someone saying something great about you. It's a cheap, shallow, hollow way to try to gain self-esteem and self-confidence.

It's fleeting, it's short-term, and it's needy. In fact, the fact that it is a necessity for you to get liked, to get people to say good things, to get comments on your social media, or to do so in your presence, indicates a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, because we know self-confidence is an internal gain where we keep the promises we make to ourselves.

The fourth type of flawed thinking is I am what I look like. In other words, if I don't look a certain way, like what the magazine says I should, or social media says I should, if I don't look like these people, I shouldn't have self-confidence. And that's ridiculous. I can tell you straightforwardly, you're beautiful as you are, especially the ladies listening to this or watching this. The world is constantly trying to get you to believe you're not enough. You

don't look right. You should lose this weight. You should gain this. This should be smaller. That should be bigger. Whatever it might be. They're constantly messaging women, you're not enough. You're not enough. You're not enough. You are what you look like. And this is true for men as well. Let me tell you straightforward, that you are not what you look like. You are your soul, you are your spirit, you are your gifts, you are the contributions you make, you are your intentions, you are perfect as you are. That doesn't mean we don't want to look better, doesn't mean we don't want to get into shape, but we want to do that to feel better about ourselves,

not for the accolades from other people. we want to do that to feel better about ourselves, not for the accolades from other people. We want to do that to feel healthier and stronger and be the ultimate version of ourselves. But by no means does that mean you're not perfect as you are. By no means does it mean you are defined by what you look like. You are not defined by what you look like. You are defined by the content of your character, the way you treat other people, and the difference you make in the world. So the four flawed thoughts that I see most right now is I am my possessions, no you're not, I am my accomplishments, no

you're not, I am what other people tell me I am and say I am, good or bad, no you are not, and fourth you are not what you look like. These are flawed beliefs that lead right to self-doubt and away from self-confidence. So the things we need to do to change our self-confidence is A, keep the promises we make to ourself and B, very important, we must begin to give ourselves credit for those things when we deliver on them. I want you to remember this as well. There's a power to the way we use the two B's, our brain and our body.

See self-confidence can also be a state, a physical state. It's very difficult when you're moving your body, sitting up straight, breathing deeply, right? You're in that physical strong state of being, right? Right after a workout, during a workout is when we feel our most confident because our body's at a peak state. One way to generate self-confidence is to move your body into a strong state of being. Move your body. Literally movement creates confidence. If you think about some of the peak times of your life, whether that be the fun time you may be having with your partner physically, intimately, or laughter, or peak performance running, right? Or your great accomplishments. Yes! There's a commonality to the way our body is moving at that

time. If you think about the times when you're the least confident, it's usually when you wake up in the morning, isn't it? It's the most down, the most fearful, the most anxiety, or before you go to bed at night. These are two times most people experience the most amount of self-doubt is right before bed and right when they wake up. Isn't that interesting? One of the reasons is because of how we're moving. We're laying down, we're hunched over, our breathing is shallow. There's no physical movement whatsoever. This creates a state of self doubt. Right before we sleep, right when we wake up.

Or if you're just kind of depressed or sick, self doubt starts to kick in, doesn't it, right? If you ever had an injury and you couldn't move like you'd like to, that stagnation of the body begins to create self doubt and strips us of our self confidence. So moving our body is a gateway to self-confidence. And then our brain as well. We have to take control of our thoughts. We have to scratch the negative ones when they come in and replace

them with great ones. Now I don't believe self-talk works all the time, but I believe saying I am strong, I am good, I intend, I'm a good man, my intentions are pure, I'm a good person, I make a difference in the world, I'm kind, I'm gentle, I'm generous, I'm strong, I am good, I intend, I'm a good man, my intentions are pure, I'm a good person, I make a difference in the world, I'm kind, I'm gentle, I'm generous, I'm strong, I'm faithful. Beginning to repeat these thoughts to myself and these words do generate self-confidence. I keep the promises I make to myself, I'm a man of my word. Begin to talk to yourself and think these thoughts.

When you combine your brain and your body, you scratch the self-doubt. You lose those four stupid beliefs. I am my accomplishments. I am my possessions. I am what other people say I am or I am what I look like. These are completely flawed beliefs. We scratch those. We scratch them. We understand the process of stacking self-confidence in our life. We know we are the content of our character. And lastly, give yourself some credit. Will you please? And I'm gonna tell you where to give yourself credit. And that is in the area of your intentions.

A lot of my confidence comes from the fact that I keep the promises I make to myself. I know my self doubt or thoughts that were given to me when I couldn't even defend myself as a young little boy. I know that I'm not my accomplishments. I know I'm not my possessions. I know I'm not what I look like. And I know I'm not what other people say I am.

I understand the process of building self-confidence. I scratch the negative thoughts of my life. But I can tell you this, the last place I get my confidence from is my faith and my intentions. See, I know I intend to do good. Not enough of you are giving yourself credit for your inherent goodness, and I mean this.

You're special in that regard. You're perfect in that regard. Just ask yourself, what are your intentions? As an individual, as a man or a woman, do you intend to do good in the world? Do you intend to want to help people? Do you intend to be a light in people's lives? Do you intend to make a difference? Do you want to want to help people? Do you intend to be a light in people's lives? Do you intend to make a difference?

Do you want to live a good life where you've helped change the world and change other people's lives? Have you ever just asked yourself that? Do you? Because if the answer to that is, you know, I don't spend enough time thinking about how good my intentions are. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to do bad things.

I don't want to take advantage of others. I really intend to do good. You know what? You need to give yourself more credit for the power of your intentions. There's a power in life of giving ourselves credit just for the intentions we have. Just ask yourself that. There's two types of people in life. There's the people who intend to do harm, to take advantage of people, to cheat, to cut corners, to cause hurt to others for what they think will be their own gain.

Then there's people who want to be a light. They want to make a difference. They want to help. They want to contribute. They want to be somebody. They want to honor their God. They want to make a difference in the world. And their intentions are good.

Too often in life, people with great intentions don't give themselves credit for how beautiful and wonderful those intentions are. And so today, just take this inventory of all the things that are wonderful about your intentions and then just take an inventory of your faith. As a person of faith, I know that I'm favored. I know that God wants me to do good in the world. I know that I was made as image and likeness. There's a power to that.

There's a comfort to that. There's a confidence that comes from that. Kind of a swagger. See, people aren't smirking at me anymore. I'm smirking at them. See, I know I'm not what I look like. I know I'm not my possessions. I know I'm not my accomplishments.

I'm not what other people say I am. I'm not my possessions. I know I'm not my accomplishments. I'm not what other people say I am. I understand the keys of keeping the promises I make to myself. I understand scratching those limiting beliefs. I know I intend to do good. I don't always do good. I make mistakes all the time. I'm not a deity.

I'm not a god. I'm a man. But I intend to do good. And my guess is, so do you. Start to give yourself a little credit just for your intentions. Know you're perfect as you are. But I intend to do good. And my guess is, so do you. Start to give yourself a little credit just for your intentions. Know you're perfect as you are. And then begin to take these massive action steps.

The final piece of the puzzle is this. Is that you have to believe you deserve to win. And sometimes it's not just that we think we're good, but that we've done so much, we must be worthy of winning. See there's this adage in life, good people in life won't take more from the table of life than they think they're worthy of and they deserve. See in business sometimes, short term, we've all seen this, someone with bad intentions can get ahead, short term.

But you always reap what you sow, karma is always a real thing, and eventually the people that take shortcuts, that cheat, that hurt other people, that have ill intent, the world, the universe, God sort of finds a way eventually to get them where they're supposed to be. But good people will never take more than they think they're worth, which is why the mandatory requirement for good people to win is they believe they deserve it. They believe they're worth winning. And sometimes it's not just who we are that we need to believe in, but what we've done in this sense that sometimes you've got to outwork everybody

and you've got to be willing to do the things nobody else is willing to do so you begin to convince yourself, man I'm doing all the things everybody else is unwilling to do so I deserve to get the results other people aren't going to get. I'm doing the things other people aren't willing to do. I'm paying a price that's so much greater than other people that I'm worth it. That I deserve to get results they don't deserve to get because I've been willing to do the things they've been unwilling to do. So the last piece is often self-confidence can just frankly come from out working everybody and convincing ourself, man I've been doing the things nobody else is willing

to do, I deserve to get the results nobody else deserves to get. And that's the shift in building self-confidence. Today's gonna be just tremendous. This is somebody that I've wanted to get to know for a long time and pick his brain. We've got a bunch of mutual friends. By the way, he's also an Academy Award winner, best actor. And so if you don't know who he is, you've been living under a rock for a long time. And today we'll unlift that rock and you'll get to know him a lot better

than you probably ever have before. So Matthew McConaughey, welcome to the show, brother. Ed, my like, good to be here with you, Ed. So I think one of the cool things about personal development and the journey of self-awareness and whatnot is figuring out your identity. And so in preparing for this, I'm like, some of the things you say I've not heard ever said this way

in self-help, personal development, self-improvement. And you said, finding your identity, I'd like you to elaborate on this, is more like a process of elimination than it is discovery. I've never heard that before. Well, we all want to figure out who we are. As Bob Dylan says, hey, everyone's their own creation. Just create it. We all want to know what that is. The affirmative way to go forward, how to play offense. But I found that that's hard, man. That's hard.

What's much easier? And I think the reasonable first step to figuring out who we are is let's define who we're not. Let's pick out those people, places, things we do, habits we have that don't pay us back, that don't feed us tomorrow, that don't give us green lights in the future. Those investments that don't have ROI. Those ones that we keep waking up tomorrow and a little bit of a debit, damn it, I got a hangover. I had the same amount of drinks at that bar

as I have somewhere else, but I got a worse hangover. Well, maybe it was the conversation people were hanging out with. Eliminate those, and by process of elimination, sheer mathematics, you'd end up with more room for the things that do feed you. So it's a much easier thing to start pointing out, ah, you know what, I keep doing that

and it doesn't pay me back. Now I'm not getting my compounding asset on that decision or those people place and they eliminate those. And by sheer mathematics, we end up with more of what does feed us and pay us back who we are. Yeah, that's amazing you say that. I got interviewed yesterday.

That's incredible. I got interviewed yesterday. That's incredible. I got interviewed yesterday, I go, what are the steps of success? And I said to him, in my life, it's been more eliminating the things that were harming my progress than it was like uncovering. This is the key. You know, it was more like that hurt me.

This took my energy away. This depleted me. That didn't serve me. Exactly what you just said. This is the Ed Myron Show.