THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Why Being Misunderstood Is Part of Building Something Great

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

Have you ever felt like nobody truly understands your dreams? That chasing greatness makes you a target for criticism, doubt, and fear—even from the people closest to you? This week, I’m here to tell you that’s part of the process—and why it’s not only okay but necessary to keep going. In this episode, I unpack why the path to success requires accepting being misunderstood. I share the power of resilience, the lessons from setbacks, and why lasting longer than others is often the key to victory. Whether it’s critics trying to dim your light or even moments of doubt about the person you’re becoming, I’ll remind you how to stay anchored in your purpose. I share personal stories about overcoming dream stealers, dealing with self-doubt, and learning to protect the vision in your heart—even when it feels like progress is invisible. And I’ll leave you with a powerful analogy that’ll change how you view persistence and the unseen progress you’re making every single day. You’re built for this. Your dreams are worth fighting for. It’s time to dig deeper, stay in the game, and make sure you’re there when the candy finally breaks free. Key Takeaways: Why being misunderstood is a sign you’re on the right track. How to handle critics—including those closest to you. The importance of resilience and lasting through the toughest moments. Why invisible progress matters and how to keep swinging for your dreams. A powerful story about persistence and the life-changing rewards of not quitting. Keep swinging. Keep believing. The candy’s coming—don’t stop before it does. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Get started risk free at Greenlight.com slash pod. This is the end. All right. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So excited that you've chosen to spend another week with me here. And thank you again We're just picked the number one show in the world in our categories because so many of you share the episodes every single week And so I'm grateful to that. So let's talk about you this week. So listen my friend You're gonna have to start to be more. Okay with being misunderstood See if you're gonna do anything great in your life, just get ready. You're gonna be controversial

You're gonna have people not understand you and one of the things that holds so many people back is Them not being okay with people not understanding them. I know it affected me deeply for many many years I can't even tell you that it doesn't affect me at all anymore But this idea that you're gonna do something great with your life, which is what you want to do That's why you're listening to me today and that you're not going to have a bunch of people misunderstand you, frankly take shots at you and you're going to be controversial. Anytime you try to change your stage in life, change your circumstances, just get ready. Here comes all the misunderstanding, here comes all the criticism, here comes all of the people who don't understand what's going on with you. And remember this saying, the only difference between

steam and ice is the state of vibration. And why do I say that to you up front? Because when you start to get criticism, it's either going to change this ice where it gets colder and colder, or it's going to turn to steam because you heat up. You've got to use the criticism you're getting and the fact that you're misunderstood and oftentimes being misunderstood by the people closest to you as fuel, as steam that heats you up to get after it to maybe prove them wrong or at least prove you right or if anything in your life is to just say you will not steal my dream. More people lose their dream to what I call dream stealers than any other thing.

It's not failure, it's not setbacks, it's not adversity, it's dream stealers. It's the people around you who still think small, who are trying to get you to conform to their thinking. They're trying to project onto you their small worldview. They're settling because your progress makes them very uncomfortable because if you get too good or you do too well they're gonna have to take a look at themselves and they don't ultimately want to do that. They also love you in many cases and that's what makes it so hard isn't it when this criticism, this controversy, this misunderstanding, it could literally be the person you sleep next to every night. They just don't understand.

Why are you changing? Why are you growing? Why isn't what we have good enough? Why can't you just be happy? And I always say this to people. It's not that I'm unhappy. It's that I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. I don't want to live every year the same way. If God's gonna give me another year, I want it to be a new and increasing and better year than the previous one. There's gonna have to be a part of you at some point, my brother or sister, that you just need to accept you're a little different. This life of changing your life and increasing things and creating something and doing something great, it ain't for everybody. And it's for you or you wouldn't have this dream in your heart.

But someone around you is going to try to steal your dream over and over and over again. You know, when I first started in business, I'm not going to say who it was because he's no longer here. And when it was not my dad, by the way, I should just be very clear of that. But I had a family member who was incredibly hard on me, both privately and then in front of my face. Hey, you make your first million yet? Hey, you make every, thanks. Hey, you make your first million yet? Over and over. I knew he was making fun of me. I knew he was, and by the way, he knew me since I was a little boy. So he knew all my weird stuff.

You know what I mean? Like if someone close to you, oh look at this little guy, he's trying to be, you know, you know what happens. And it almost got me. He convinced me, I was ashamed almost, that I had a dream. I was almost embarrassed oftentimes when he would be around that I had the audacity to think somehow I was going to do something in my life. He immediately had the ability to pull me back to who I probably believed I really was at that time. These dream stealers have an ability to pull you back to the lowest possible version of yourself that you struggle with trying not to believe anymore.

He would literally validate my greatest weaknesses and fears about myself. And it would literally feel like a actual punch in the stomach. I was not only down, but I almost felt embarrassed and ashamed that I was even trying. And I have to tell you that he almost got me many times. And by the way, he wasn't the only one. But I can also tell you, when I made it, it was so sweet. Because I remember that final Thanksgiving, we're around and it was getting quiet and people were eating. He goes, so Eddie, did you make your first million yet? And I remember getting kind of quiet and letting everybody settle and everyone

was, Ooh, I said, actually I have, but you know what? I've been wanting to ask you for like six years while you've been wearing me out. Have you, have you, this whole time you've been criticizing me and you're twice as old as I am. Have you ever made your first million yet? And it got real quiet. And I got to tell you something, they ain't the reason to make it to prove people wrong but it feels damn good when you do and so you're gonna have to accept that everything is gonna be hard before it

gets easy in fact my one of my favorite Chinese proverb says exactly that it says everything must be hard before it can be easy Proverbs 423 tells us above all else guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. I gotta tell you something, you're gonna have to protect your heart, you have to guard your beliefs. Remember this, success is going to be harder than you think it is. There's going to be more criticism and haters and you're going to be more controversial and more misunderstood

than you think and it's probably going to take longer than you think and with all of that being said I can tell you it's more worth it than you think. To do something great with your life, to say man I did it, I overcame it, is one of the greatest feelings you'll ever have in your life and I can tell you why I think that is because once you do win I think you'll reach the conclusion that you didn't do it alone and that God was with you the entire time. If anything's been a confirmation of my faith to some extent, it's been the dark times that God's helped me get through. When people ask me on the show, so give me all the keys to your success. Every week I come on here and I give you key after key after key after key and having

said all of that, there are a ton of times where it's a blur to me and all I can conclude is that I was so down that I stayed faithful I stayed working hard and that in those moments God just picked me up and carried me for a while and Then I'd wake up again. He put me back down in a little bit better place So of all the things I tell you keys this communication that mindset this think that do this routine all of those things It would never have been done without God and his favor and his blessing, his comfort, his supernatural understanding in my life. Hey guys, so before I hurt my back, one of the things we were doing more of is I was snowboarding and I loved it and we had great friends who were skiers so we

go on these cool ski trips. Here's what I didn't like about these cool ski trips. Dragging these snowboards and skis through the airports. Any of you that know what I'm talking about? It's stressful, they lose them sometimes, they're heavy, they're clanky, there's all these upcharges. You don't have to deal with that anymore thanks to Shipskis. Shipskis helps you do one thing that's important. Skip airport stress and costly airline fees with complimentary insurance, real-time tracking, dedicated support, and on-time delivery. Just schedule your shipment, attach your label, and Shipskis takes over the rest. It's brilliant. Right now Shipskis is offering our listeners 20% off your first shipment when you go to

shipskis.com and use the code MILET. Go to Shipskis and use the code MILET to get 20% off your first shipment and save yourself the hassle this ski season. That's S-H-i-p-s-k-i-s dot com. Make sure you use the code MILET so they know we sent you. All right it's that time here it's cold out. One of my favorite things I've gone back to is hot chocolate. I'm doing that all the time right now and I love laying on the couch with a blanket on when it's cold out. Watching a little football or some Netflix. Yes I do do those things in my downtime, but you probably need more than that for the cold weather and that's where the ultimate cold weather necessity company comes in. Quince. With Quince, you can treat yourself to true

quality at an affordable price. Their super soft fleece sweatpants are major upgrade to whatever you're lounging around in right now. They're comfy and cozy. I wore them Sunday watching football. All Quince items are priced 50 to 80 percent less than similar brands. By partnering directly with Top Factories and cutting out all the middlemen, Quince passes the savings on to you. Luxuriate and coziness without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.com slash ed for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's quince q u i n c e dot com slash ed to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash ed. The other thing that's really hard to do but you almost can do and you need to do is

to actually pray for those that criticize you. Pray for them. Pray for them because they think so small and they are so down on themselves that they've decided to take shots at you. And I know that sometimes it's the person that lays next to you and they aren't trying to take shots at you. They're legitimately worried about you. You know one thing I discovered when you're in a relationship with somebody and I'm not talking about your... it could be your friends as well. But one of the reasons that they're trying to pull you back is a you're making them look at themselves.

So they're going to project their small thoughts, small thinking onto you because it makes them uncomfortable about themselves. But here's the other thing. To some extent deep, deep, deep down, they think you're leaving them. That as you begin to leave this former version of you and you grow and change, but you're going to leave them. And their greatest fear is that that's going to happen as your significant other or as your friend. She's going to leave. She's going to leave. She's going to become so successful and change so much that she's not going to

want me anymore or he's not going to want me anymore. That could be your friends or that could be your significant other. And so know that that's actually at my opinion, the place that it comes from most of the time is fear. Anytime someone's acting out angry or mean, it's usually coming from fear. And so you got to ask yourself, what are they really afraid of at the real root? If we get to the real bottom of it, what is this critic afraid of? At the real root, if we get to the real bottom of it, what is this critic afraid of? They're either afraid that your light shining bright is gonna somehow shine on them and people are gonna notice the shadow that they're

living in, the small place they're living in, or they're afraid you're leaving. And so if you can get into pray for them almost, it'll flip the script. Luke 6 verse 28 says, Jesus says to bless those who curse you, pray for those who hurt you. That's not an easy thing to do, but I recommend you do it and you got to be ready for it. In fact, if you don't have any critics right now, if you're not controversial at all, if you don't have any haters, if you don't have anybody putting you down or trying to pull you back or wondering what the heck's going on with you as you change, you're probably not doing anything great in your life. In fact, it's one of the leading indicators.

You're doing something. You're doing something right. You've got some critics. You're controversial. I could tell you this. And by the way, it doesn't end. Then once you make it, they'll have other... Oh, you've changed. It doesn't end. So at some point you have to decide you're okay with being misunderstood. You can't constantly be... For me, there's one rule in my life. When someone's wondering what I'm doing, I'll explain it to you once and then after that it's not my job you don't understand. You do get one grace. You get one blessing. You get one explanation. But I'm not doing this over

and over and over again with you. It takes your energy. It's toxic. It distracts you. To do something great with your life requires laser, obsessive focus. And if you've got to deal with this other person, not understanding you, you got to give it to them once. And after that, and I tell them that, listen, I totally understand. It's a fair question. Let me explain this to you, but I want you to listen close because I'm only doing this one time. And let me say this to you also, if this controversial thing

takes you off your dream, you were gonna lose anyway. Because imagine the real rejection when you actually lose the account, when something doesn't go well, when an absolute disaster takes place, when a crisis happens over and over and over again. The first time you get slammed to the ground on your dream or the 18th time. If a critic or being controversial or being misunderstood takes you off your dream, come on. Something else is gonna get you anyway. So toughen up. And people ask me often, well what if that person's the closest person to you? I need their support. You do? You lack so much

motivation that you need theirs? I mean think that one through for a second. It's just sort of this vogue thing to say, how do I get my significant other to support me more? Well a lot of times the answer to that is win. You got to go win. There's the truth of human beings. They may not share your vision. They may not get it. You may not have their support and if you need it you were probably going to lose anyway. Winning is difficult. The difference between winning and losing is so small, it's almost too scary to talk about.

It's so small. It's millimeters. It's one move one way or the other. Winning and losing is, it's tough. And so if not having support is going to get you, what are you going to do when a disaster takes place? Winning at the highest level, you got to be mentally tough, resilient, built for this stuff.

And if a critic or a setback or not being understood, that's going to get you. Really? But you want to be a millionaire or what you want to change the world or you want to change your family tree forever. You got to get a big enough vision that it drowns out the noise of this dumb dumb who's criticizing you doesn't even get it right and then you got to last. You know if you go after something for a year you might lose you know people underestimate what they can do on the long term and they overestimate what they can do in the short term. You take a 10-year, let's say you just started a business or you're on

a fitness journey or a faith journey, but let's just take the business for a second. You decide, hey, I'm going at 10 years. You understand at the end of one year, if 100 people started at the same time as you, 70 of them, 75 have already quit. After three years, 90, 95 of them have quit. After eight, nine years one or two of you are left out of a hundred people. Just lasting long term and sticking around long enough gives you a chance of winning. You'd be amazed at how many people eventually give in because it just gets tougher and tougher. So eventually the price tag gets too high for most people and they'll

sell out their dream. Now by the way they won't call it selling out their dream. They'll come up with a story that softens the blow. Well it wasn't for me or this guy screwed me over or this happened or my partner wasn't ethical or blah blah blah. They'll come up with some story as to why they quit on their dream. But someone who really wants it bad, who's going to win, none of that stuff gets them off their dream. So there's no story you could tell because at the end of it it's just like okay whatever you just said blah blah blah blah you quit on your dream. And if you're listening to this today and you go yeah you know what I did quit on my dream.

Well that doesn't have to be permanent. You could use today's episode as a wake up call and go, you know what, he's right. I need to toughen up. You know what? It's not going to be worth it. Hey, what makes it worth it is how hard it is. What makes it worth it is proving that person wrong. What makes it worth it is you overcame and you grew and you pivoted and you evolved and you innovated and you lasted. It wasn't going to work if it wasn't 10 years anyways, right? This idea of social media day and age, everything's fast and this and I made this and everyone's 23

and in the Caribbean, that's not how life works. It's a long grind and it's totally worth it because it's not about where you get, it's about who you become in the process of getting there. And when you quit, you'll never meet that person. The hard part of quitting is not just that you lost your dream. That's bad. Worse is you're never gonna meet the man or woman you could have been had you pursued it. Cause I can tell you, the house, the car, the jet,

all of that, it's not what you think it will be, but you need to go get it cause it's still pretty good. But it's not what you think it'll be. But what is even way better than you think it will be, is who you become in the process of getting there and being proud of you. And I could tell you, the things you'd be most proud of is the fact that you lasted, is the fact that you got up after you quit, is the fact you go, you know what, I did quit but I'm getting back. I'm getting back up. I lasted, I'm tough, I'm resilient, I'm mentally tough. I innovated. I pivoted. I improved. I grew. I fought. I clawed. I competed. I won.

That's way better than you think it is. It's way better. That beach house you think you want, it ain't the house. It's sitting in the backyard going, man. Remember that when I almost quit? Remember that time I was down for a while? Remember when that person said this? Remember when that controversy? Man that one would have knocked anybody. Remember when that person stole from me? When that person did this to me? Just so you know, everything you think probably bad will happen, probably will and worse. And that's what makes it so sweet when you last. and worse and that's what makes it so sweet when you last. What makes a leader? It's a tough question but one thing's for sure. A true leader leads by example and a true leader takes risks too. They plunge into life with determination. For those who lead by example and who approach life with a palpable passion, there's the Range Rover Sport. Each Range Rover Sport model offers a dynamic, sophisticated take on sporting luxury. The Range Rover Sport offers focused on-road performance and world-renowned off-road capability, with industry-leading features like adaptive off-road cruise control

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You. As a friend, let me say something that happens once we start to get a little bit ahead in life. In the beginning it's going to be friends and family that misunderstand you. But once you make some progress, you can begin to misunderstand you. Once you get a little bit down the road, you're like, well wait a minute, this isn't me. This isn't what it was cracked up to be. I don't know that I like. And what happens is you begin to question you. You do. It's very natural.

When you're changing and growing and becoming somebody you're unfamiliar with, it's very natural to not understand this person you're becoming. One of the most important things I've ever said on the show that and I put it in the middle of this episode, I hope that you share this. But one of the mind games that happens

is you actually make progress once you do, is you misunderstanding you because you're unfamiliar with this new person. And this person who's growing and changing, they're not a finished product yet. So there may actually be some things about you that you like less for a while. Sometimes you have to be so laser focused and mentally tough for windows of time that it even scares you or you do go am I am I too far down this road and leaving the other one and so this new person you become is so unfamiliar to you that our natural tendency is to want to go back to being the person we were before or to

shrink our dream smaller because that one's easier to get and we could see that one now, but this bigger one or the one that keeps getting bigger, we don't understand it. We don't understand us. This person we're becoming, we're not familiar with. And so you may for a while become somebody you don't like for a short term. And that's just because you're not familiar with them or that time requires may for a while become somebody you don't like for a short term. And that's just because you're not familiar with them or that time requires parts of your personality, parts of you that it won't require once you get there.

There's a relentlessness that comes with being successful, a mental toughness, almost a shell you put around yourself to some extent that is unfamiliar for most of us that are not that way right now and so I do want to tell you as a friend no one's probably ever said this on any episode there's a part of the journey that cost most people is not the other people who misunderstand them but it's yourself because you've actually started to turn into this person you weren't before and that person's like any adolescent becoming a new

person. There's rough edges around them and you got to give that person some grace and know that there's no way you're going to make your dream come true until you evolve to be the ultimate version of you anyway. But that evolution can be awkward. Think about any teenager you know that goes from being this kind, sweet young person and as they grow into adolescence, they change, they're rough around the edges, they experiment, they make mistakes, there's parts of them that are developing,

and then hopefully eventually they land on becoming a person that you and they are proud of. As you grow in business, and I'm not talking about doing anything unethical, what I'm saying is that there's parts of you that weren't there before that have to develop for you to win, and when those things develop, if you're not familiar with that person and you're not it can feel like it's not you and our tendency is to want to go back to who we used to be you'll always keep your character you'll always be ethical you'll always make the right decisions I'm not talking about those things I'm

saying elements of you evolve and some of those elements are only short-term to get you through that stage of your life. Accept that, give yourself grace knowing that you're becoming the ultimate version of you. Really important thing that I just told you, you may be the one who misunderstands you once you overcome the people closest to you misunderstanding you. There's so many things on your journeys to success they're gonna try to get you to go back or to shrink or to conform or to settle down or to just kind of settle or slow down and

I want you to know that that's part of growth You're gonna have parts of you that you weren't knowing before that you're now meeting for the first time that person was always there You're just tapping into them now And so please don't give in or succumb to the idea of shrinking to please other people shrinking so that you're comfortable with yourself shrinking you or your dream doesn't serve the world. You were born to do something great. Whatever that means to you in your life. This is the real stuff today. Everybody like this is the real real, you know, the last thing I'll tell you is

you got to last. I told this story in one of my books but about two weeks ago we got invited to a six-year-old's birthday party and it got rained out so we didn't get a chance to go. But it made me think about one that we had went to many many years ago and I've shared this in my book but I want to share it with you now as kind of the final story today. This birthday party they had a piñata for the kids and the little boy whose birthday party it was, I'll never forget this, they blindfolded him and spun him around. I mean, that's never been to a pinata party and they gave him this bat and he just starts swinging into the air, you know, missing

everything and to some extent that's such a great analogy for what it's like to start out in pursuing your vision and your dream. You kind of learn a little bit but you're blindfolded, they give you the baton, you just start swinging and you're not even close to the target, right? That's kind of learn a little bit but you're blindfolded they give you the baton you just start swinging and you're not even close to the target right that's kind of like the beginning journey and so finally the dad grabbed him and pointed him right at the pinata and he hit this pinata just over and over and over and he was getting tired and discouraged because no candy came out and eventually quit took his blindfold off and ran over to the swing set and then they grabbed another little guy and they put the blindfold on him and eventually quit, took his blindfold off and ran over to the swing set.

And then they grabbed another little guy and they put the blindfold on him, gave him the baton, spun him around, he's swinging, missing everything. Then they lined him up and he hit the piñata for a long time and no candy came out. And he lost his patience and his tolerance for it and he left. Then they gave it to this little girl and she hit it. So anyway, they went through all the kids, about seven kids,

all of them hitting this pinata and all of them quit. And then the last little boy, the smallest boy there, the little brother, they gave him the baton and the blindfold and he went up and hit the baton. One swing and not even a very powerful swing and the pinata broke and all the candy came out and all the kids came running from all over the playground and they're all jumping on and getting the candy and celebrating. Little Jacob had broken open the pinata with one shot. Let me ask you a question. Was it Jacob's shot that broke open that pinata? Or was it the cumulative shots from everybody

throughout the entire pinata experience? You know the answer. It was the cumulative shots of hitting that pinata over and over again. Jacob just made the final shot. What was happening was progress was being made breaking down that pinata, but you couldn't see it. It was invisible progress. Nobody could see it. It didn't look like anything was happening. Shot after shot, swing after swing. People getting tired, people quitting, people getting discouraged, all these little kids. But what they didn't know is each one of those shots,

even though they couldn't see it, was breaking down the pinata and they were getting one step closer to all of the candy. But they all quit. And that's what happens for most people in life. That ten years, people hit the pinata, hit the pinata, hit the pinata, and eventually, because they don't see progress, quit. Not knowing they were making invisible progress. There's something called compound pounding. When you hit something over and over again and pursue it over and over and over again, you are breaking it down. It's compounding of the pounding you're making. It's breaking it down over time, even though you can't see visual evidence of it. And so that's how your dream will be as well.

Most people will quit before the candy comes out of their dream, before all the money comes out, all of the dreams, all of the emotions, all the relationships, all of the pride. They will quit because they don't see progress on the pinata of their life. And many of them quit one swing away. And so my challenge to you is to last. When everybody quits over those 10 years, they're not understood, then they don't understand themselves, is that you keep swinging because you're making more progress than you think. It may not be visible, you may not see it, everybody around you may not see it, but every single swing is compound pounding getting you closer to your dream

and your vision of your life. And most human beings, the sad part of their life is they quit before the candy comes out. And they often quit much closer to the candy than they think they are. My challenge to you is keep swinging away so that your loved ones, your family, even the ones who don't understand you, can celebrate when all the candy comes out

and you can be there for your family and make their dreams come true as well, even though they didn't get it in the beginning. Whether you like it or not you're the person who's supposed to bring the candy to your family. That's why you got this dream in your heart. That's why you're who you are. You're built for this. Keep swinging and wait till that candy comes out because it's going to someday and all these people who don't get it that are around you they'll come running to celebrate to get their piece of the candy. Alright everybody, God bless you. You're gonna

share this one. Max out. This is the Ed Mylan Show.