The F Plus - 107: Trash At Demonhead
Episode Date: August 1, 2013It's hard for an independent game developer to break into the business. With average budgets for high profile games now exceeding $20 million, and an ever increasing number of different publisher...s competing over market share, how is a guy with no education and no experience going to create, publish and market his own game? The answer is simple: He's not! And that's totally fine, because the game he would have created would have just been a rehash of other games using characters he didn't own the rights to. We're looking at the Fantendo wiki - a place where people can skip game development and cut straight to game journalism. Because really, the journalism's the most sophisticated part. This week, The F Plus needs to stay radical or it will implode!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Yeah.
So.
Instead of just creating a single city, you've created a car!
You've created a monster.
No, a Groverfield monster.
I think you misheard.
It wasn't the Groverfield monster. Hey, people.
This is the F Plus Podcast.
Terrible things read with enthusiasm.
My name's Lemon.
And I'm Isfahan.
Isfahan, how is your week going?
It's going okay so far.
I've had to get busy finding a new job now that I'm completely graduated from school.
Got my book learning.
But it's kind of hard, and I don't think I'm going to be able to land my dream job.
Oh, no, you can.
No, no, no, no.
Do not set your goals too low.
You always, what's your dream job?
You can do it.
Game designer.
Game designer. That I've never heard in my life.
Yeah, I want to make video games, and I think
there's a dearth of video game designers
out there. Certainly is.
And they're really looking hard for people who want to design
video games, but I just don't know if I
have what it takes. Well, I'm sure
you have plenty of
3D modeling experience.
I'm sure you've spent some years in Blender.
I mean, you probably know a fair amount about UI development,
or at the very least a couple, you know, maybe a decade in C++.
So you're good in that case, right?
No, I like talking up.
I like thinking up game ideas.
Sure.
I just want to... Do you understand that
video game development is actually
kind of a pretty shitty
job? What? It's awful hours,
it's terrible, I mean, you spend
the whole time in the office, you don't really get
paid very much, they bash
you into deadlines...
That doesn't... I thought game design
was fun, because it's got game in the title, right?
You make fun things, and it's a fun job.
No, no, I mean, you don't really get credit for anything.
You know, it's an arduous process and not a lot of glory in it.
Well, crap.
Is there a way that I could just skip all that bad stuff
and get to the part where I talk about games I've made?
I am so glad you asked.
Let me introduce you to the Fantendo Wiki.
It is a wiki of games that
do not exist. None
of the video games on this wiki
exist. Hmm. But they're
written about as though they are.
Oh. Well, I guess I could just waste
some time doing that.
Exactly! If you're gonna waste your time,
why not waste your time on the least
productive thing we can think of?
Yes. Readers assemble!
In the room tonight we have
Boots Rangier!
David Racing's gameplay is like any
kart racing game with karts and tracks.
It's fun.
Boomageddon, the experiment gone wrong, had raised living ghost bombs to kill the ultimate warriors.
Now Jim Nii was next.
John.
Newest Super Mario Brothers is the next installment in the new Super Mario Brothers series.
Wonderful.
Jimmy Franks.
Poop Buck Koopa is a Koopaling that was made when Bowser pooped him out
He has an interest in plumbing
Buddy Brad
Five is the most
Mysterious character in the Final Fantasy series
Also it's the number after four
And Lemon
Alicia and Lindsay
Become friends and decide on
Trying to find out what to do to fit in.
Hey, guys!
I'm going to count to three,
and when I get to three, I would like you all
to simultaneously tell me your opinion
on the current state of video games.
One, two, three.
More Q-Bert!
Fantastic!
Less Q-Bert! i feel like i heard that uh that you felt that the the video game entertainment industry was a little bit bereft of ideas that's what i
said yeah and strong concepts i was more thinking about how bereft isn't actually a word
no it's a new free-to-play MMO, I think.
Explore the world of the Rift.
You've tried Rift. Try B-Rift.
Alright, well, I'm going to introduce you
to a site called Fantendo.
This is something
Cheapskate sent us.
This is a place where
people invent their own video
games, right?
Except for they don't
make them or
program them or assemble a team
or make a website or do
any production at all. Instead, what they
do is they go to a Wikipedia page
and they type the video games
up as though they actually exist.
And so it's like, aha. No, I don't and they type the video games up as though they actually exist. And then what happens?
It's like, uh-huh.
No, I'd argue it's actually dumber than uh-huh.
So the site is itself a role-playing game
where you are playing a video game designer, basically.
So let's start out with Jimmy Franks,
who is going to be bringing us Slaughter Bus.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
I clicked the link and all this Cheeto dust appeared on my hands.
I don't know what happened.
Yeah, that'll happen.
All right.
Slaughter Bus.
You.
Insert name here.
A radical.
You are the Slaughter Bus.
Defy the space authorities.
That's the tagline.
I feel like thank you for calling me radical, but fuck you for calling me a bus?
You're a slaughter bus, though.
You're the slaughter bus.
You're going to be interested in our sequel called Rad Bus.
It's going to be awesome.
Bang bus.
Space authorities pointed a sign, no space skating. called Rad Bus. It's going to be awesome. Bang bus. Space authority's good.
No space skating.
Slaughter Bus,
a game about designing weaponized buses that slaughter things.
Or just Slaughter Bus.
It's a free-of-roam action game made by
Fantasize Studios.
I guess it's sort of like
the Doctor Strangelove, How I Learned to Stop
Burning and Love the Bomb.
Like a Fiona Apple album title.
The gameplay is simple.
Use a flying space bus to destroy a vast space city and attach all sorts of weapons to set bus to better do the job,
all while completing missions and hating on the space authorities.
Hating on the space authorities.
Yeah, dog!
It uses the remote and it measures how much you're shaking
your fist at the space authorities.
I gotta say, Fantasize Studios
is probably the best possible name
for somebody on this site.
What's the story
of Slaughterbuss? That's important to me.
Long ago, Earth exploded
after Necronometal,
the band of heavy metal robots
final tour ended. The survivors, led by Necronometal, the band of heavy metal robots, final tour ended.
The survivors, led by Necronometal, built a space society of floating buildings,
including schools, which needed bus shuttles.
However, over time, Necronometal lost its edge and became orderly,
thus making them tight authority figures.
Playing at the Civic Auditorium this weekend will be Necrometal and his band
Necrometal.
I think this is a spiritual sequel
to Aerosmith's Revolution X.
Except it's flipped.
Uploading sellout.exe.
As schools are being
destroyed so that robots can become
the dominant workers. One noble
bus shuttle driver. Wait, really?
Really? Really?
It's a libertarian's dream.
So the robots are fighting
for all of the manufacturing jobs
that humans keep trying to steal from robots.
Is that what I'm getting from this?
Also, necronomidol is the cause of Earth exploding, and now they're leading the survivors.
Well, no, they're still alive.
They're just, you know, on chunks of floating.
Who are the guys who blew up the world anyway?
Earth just happened to explode after the tour was over.
I mean, who can point fingers here, really?
Shit just happens.
Take that, Space Obama Elementary.
Shit just happens.
Ha ha ha.
Take that, Space Obama Elementary.
Ha ha.
All right.
As schools are being destroyed so that robots can become the dominant workers, one noble bus shuttle driver named Juan Noble Driver.
Oh, fuck you.
It's a common Puerto Rican name.
Hola, me llamo Juan Noble Driver.
Must pilot his bus shuttle and attach a plethora of weapons to it
in order to take down the space authorities.
An overabundance of weapons.
I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to hate these fucking space authorities.
Are you a bad enough dude to fight the space authorities?
Well, it's important, you think.
By the way, this is a Wii U game.
I don't know if Nintendo is going to really approve,
but we're just going to skip the part where you write down the controls.
The game doesn't exist, but you're going to give me an instruction manual
how the controls work, but we're going to skip that part
and go straight to the overview.
All right.
In Slaughter Bus, you drive a bus shuttle, the titular Slaughter Bus,
around a vast city floating in space.
You can attack buildings, run into stuff,
and just wreak havoc.
To further this
havoc, you
can attach a variety of weapons to your bus,
from buzz saws to fists to
robotic T-Rex heads.
You can attach fists to your bus?
Yeah. Pimp your bus.
Are they just fists, or do they actually have arms?
They're just fists.
Yeah, and then the Marvel X-Men character Havoc will be there, and you wreck him.
You will also randomly receive missions, such as stopping the Space Thorties from ruining a metal concert.
Wait, aren't the Space Thorties already a metal band?
This is really...
They're not a very good band.
I like the idea of a game that just randomly assigns missions to you.
You just sort of drive around in circles for three hours,
and then suddenly there's a mission.
Oh, shit, deliver this mail.
Yeah, there you go.
And wreak havoc while he's over there.
You know what just caused two needed?
Less direction.
Yeah.
This city is yours for the taking
And you can do whatever you want
However
You must make sure your vehicle is
Radical enough
Or else it will implode
What if it isn't radical enough
I'm always in fear of not being
Rad enough
It will implode
To raise the radical level Simply attach more weapons Always in fear of not being rad enough. It will implode! Oh, shit!
To raise the radical level, simply attach more weapons, paint jobs, and other things.
Fail to do this within a five-minute time period and the bus will implode!
Five-minute time period for... So, the game's kind of short.
Fair enough, yeah.
You could buy additional weapons and customizations with space creds earned by completing missions or smashing into the bank.
Well, I could do this fetch quest or I could just blow up a bank.
I feel like you should be smashing into the space bank.
Do I want some money or all the money?
Hey, Lemon.
Yeah. Some money or all the money? Hmm. Hey, Lemon. Yeah? On a scale of slaughterific to burn in the pain flames, burn it,
what would you rate this game?
Oh, you know, I've thought about this,
and I really wouldn't call it burn in the pain flames, burn it.
I also wouldn't call it this is as bad as Space Thorities.
Don't really think I'd call it space meh, or even pretty radical.
I think eight people
on this site would agree that this game is
slaughterific! Yeah!
The author of this page and seven
of his sock puppets agree.
Actually, I thought I was pretty
space meh.
I just like the idea of it imploding if you're not
90s cool enough.
Like a new version of
a really, really
90s version of speed.
Yo, bro, if your bus isn't sick enough,
you gotta turn it to a tubularity,
dude. I didn't think you could
out 90s speed, but man.
I know, exactly my point.
You gotta drive around, find all the radical items, use your
radar. I think we just gleaned the fear.
I like it.
Wow.
That was slaughterific.
Sorry, what?
John, I need you to pause Sonic the Hedgehog.
Just pause it for just five minutes.
But I'm at crystal.
I know.
Please don't shout.
Please don't shout.
I know you shout every time I try to pause Sonic the Hedgehog.
But just very briefly, I know you shout every time I try to pause but I just very
briefly, I need you to explain
your game because you're very excited
about your game.
Okay, then. If I'm going to be explaining
my game, that's fine.
Please tell us the summary of
Al Gore the Warrior.
Hello, everybody. This is
Al Gore the Warrior.
Fun. Alright.
Here's my summary.
That's not like summing things up.
It's kind of like the season.
It's very hot outside.
It's definitely warm.
It's definitely not sweater weather. Al Gore is one word.
Al Gore.
Yes, this is Al Gore the Warrior.
Yep.
When you first start the game, you are Algor
Kid, having to learn about fighting
and weapons such as crossbows,
bow and arrows, and swords.
Good. Okay, okay, sure.
As the game goes on, your damage
and health raises through buying items
as you reach higher levels.
You should just skip the items
which raise your damage.
Ow! Ow!
Ah, thank you for buying the Cloak of Infinite Poking.
Why did I install spikes on the handle of my sword?
Maybe if I were to turn this around.
Why are the spikes on the inside of this armor?
Now, over time, you will become an adult.
It's not about my game.
I'm just letting you know.
That's how life works.
Despite playing this game, you're going to become an adult.
You may find hair in new places you didn't try before.
Despite what all the evidence of this wiki says, you will become an adult as you grow older.
Now, throughout the game, you will be able to customize items and clothing, though.
Right.
Despite becoming an adult.
Yep.
Different paths you choose cause you to meet characters at different times.
Yeah, I want to know what the multiplayer is like.
Well, when you create your file, you can choose how many players are able to play on that file.
What?
There's also a multiplayer battle
mode where you can battle each other
with the weapons and armor you get in story mode.
Ooh.
So how does this file know if somebody
who isn't you is playing there?
It's on the file. Let's not kid ourselves.
This guy doesn't have any friends.
Whoever bought this game.
What about
creation mode?
Oh, well, creation mode is the most interesting part. You ready to
hear about this?
Good. Please tell me about it.
Creation mode is where you create
the objects you create in story mode.
Oh, shit!
Creation mode is where you do my job
for me.
Oh, and also, apparently,
Tsuburashi.
Right. Correct. Just so you know.
You create the objects you create
in creation mode.
You know, I think you're going to have some guest stars
because I know you're well connected in Hollywood.
Skell and Outfall,
I believe they're going to be
voiced by certain...
Oh, yeah. What voice actors
would you hire to...
If you had a skeleton character.
Well, if I had a character
possibly named a Skell, just as random name,
he would
be voiced by Matthew Lillard.
Of course.
Of course.
That just makes sense.
Star of the hit film 13 Ghosts?
The very same, sir.
But let's say you had a blue circle with a cape and some other circles around it.
Let's just say, on the random chance, that I just took a bomb off of Mario and put a cape on it, because I'm creative.
I'd want him to be voiced by Seth MacFarlane.
He'd do it.
Oh, yeah.
He would.
Tell him he can talk about farts. He has never said. Oh, yeah. He would. Yeah. Yep. Tell him he can talk about parts.
He has never said no to anything, so yeah, I'm pretty sure.
I mean, can the Mario Bob-omb character make a lot of rape jokes?
Because you're fine then.
Well, he can now.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
I mean, if he were voiced by Matthew Lillard, it wouldn't work, but...
Well, I mean, if he would finally return my calls, then maybe this would happen.
On what platform would we find this?
Well, the platform would be the Bombay.
Right.
Which is apparently
a fake...
Which is a fake console that you invented.
That is a rectangle
made in MS Paint with some
lines and circles on it.
That's the Bombay.
So it's like a 2600. What are those going for
nowadays? So, well, there's
four games that you can play
on the Bombay system.
You can play
Algor the Warrior, of course. You can also
play Super Mario Bros.
Blast JD.
Then you can play Vamadis
or Adventurous
Travelor.
Hello, I am Adventurous Travelor.
I come from lands from far is way.
Would you like to make N-Sword?
I always thought there was more Jack Daniels needed in Super Smash Brothers.
Bunny Bread?
Yes.
I'm not really an RPG guy.
I'm kind of more of a sort of like a sim kind of like, you know, kind of world building thing.
You know me too.
So I'm really excited about this new game that apparently is made by Maxis.
Please tell me about it.
Well, nothing is truly made by Maxis.
All is made by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Fair enough.
But, we shall continue.
Eddie Hoodle, the creator of life.
Creator of life is a simulation world creating game by Clover Entertainment.
Hmm.
Wait, isn't that what it was?
It is now.
They closed down.
We got it.
It is an attempt to branch out from focusing solely on destruction.
Because destruction is bad.
Sure.
Here, you can create a world and fill it with life, because life is good.
Basically, you are God.
And God isn't known for destroying things. No, he is good. Basically, you are God. And God isn't known
for destroying things.
No, he is not. As long as you
pay no attention to the Bible.
The flag of sunshine!
And rainbows and skittles.
Oh, your New Testament God.
The game will be released
on November 3rd, 2012, so look
out for it for PC,
Xbox 360,
PS3,
and Wii U.
So, yeah.
Really,
playing a Maxis game
on a Wii U,
okay,
whatever.
It'll happen.
Maxis game
made by
Clover
was just published
by Maxis,
okay.
Right, yeah.
Yeah,
again,
I'm God.
Trust me.
The game takes
all of the things that made SimCity so great and expands on them.
Oh, shit.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Boots, you thought that Clover Entertainment was a real company?
I just went to the fan tendo wiki page for it.
There's a couple things that are really important to know about Clover Entertainment.
First of all, their logo's ugly.
But they are a video game company.
They were founded in 2012. And the founder is the Clover Entertainment. First of all, their logo's ugly. But they are a video game company. They were founded in 2012.
And the founder
is the Cloverfield Monster.
Ooh.
Oh, of course.
Not bad.
Well then.
It is owned by Cloverfield Monster.
No, it's a person
who loved the movie Cloverfield so much.
They changed their name
to First Name Cloverfield,
Last Name Monster.
I mean, yeah,
it is a movie
that touched all of our hearts.
Okay.
No, I think I need to
I think it's C. Loverfield Monster
Mr. Lover Lover
I'm Charles Loverfield Monster
And I'd like to continue
Okay
First
You have to create the planet
Give it water
Remember to water your planet
Right
Carve the terrain
And place oxygen into it
So blow on it
As the game goes on,
you can fill the planet.
Oh, excuse me.
Who's God here? Who's God?
Fair enough. I'm sorry. I relent.
I'm sorry. I'm going to find an older relative,
steal their oxygen tank, and then plug it into the game.
Boom.
As the game goes on, you can fill the planet with life.
You can choose what kind of life fills it.
It could be a made-up species. or it could be a planet with humans.
It can also be a planet inhabited entirely by animals, which aren't humans.
Watch as the creatures do cool things.
Oh, I'm sold.
There we go.
That's the sentence that worked on me.
I love watching creatures do cool things.
Cool things, huh?
Mr. Loverfield, I have a question.
Yes, you in the back.
Will the animals, will they poop?
Is pooping not a cool thing?
Well, just answer the question.
No, you, just, oh, God, would you put your erection away?
I have a question.
Well, one of the cool things that the animals will do,
is it fighting against the space authorities?
No, it's only pooping. No, it's only pooping.
Sorry, goodbye.
It's cool animals, not rat animals.
Sorry. Hello, 90s.
Humans, for example,
will build large cities where they can,
depending on the terrain,
watch as their cities grow.
Where'd that period come from?
Watch as their cities grow
and watch them go to their jobs
driving cars
and watch buildings be
constructed.
Yes, this is fantasy at the highest level.
Animals, on the other hand,
are also just as fun to watch.
They poop.
Watch as lions
go after gazelles and shit on them. You read. Yeah. Watches lions go after gazelles
and shit on them. No, you read that wrong.
It just said go after gazelles. So there's just one
gazelle, then all these lions are going
after that one gazelle.
There's one chick named
Gazelle. She's a stripper.
Watches lions go after
some whore named Gazelle and eat her.
You could also determine a certain creature's
fate, like in, I don't know,
The Sims 3? Now put that
image out of your head immediately.
You can choose when a person will get married,
have kids,
and you can also choose how they
die. Wait,
aren't you creating
an entire world? Yes.
So you have to click on every
individual person. World micromanagement tycoon! Yay? Yes. So you have to click on every individual person.
World micromanagement tycoon!
Yay! Yes.
And it's all in real time.
Let's not kid ourselves. You're just going to hit the shit button over and over and over.
It's all in real time on the Wii U.
God, alright.
Okay, I've determined all of the life points
for Aaron Aronson. Alright, next up
Aaron Argyle.
God, all right.
Oh, and my Wii U has melted through the floor.
Let me tell you about the graphics, folks.
Oh, yeah.
The graphics are so lifelike.
Like in Cities XL, you can save up to 20 planets in one solar system file.
Oh.
A solar system file is 5 zillion terabytes.
Watch as the human
civilization evolves and
thrives. Yes, thrives.
Under your watch, I'm sure that'll happen.
Watch animals mate and have
children. Oh, yeah. There you go, Jimmy Franks.
Children.
Watch animals fuck humans
and have children.
I, of course, am sold because I get to watch animals do cool things.
But I feel like there might be some people that aren't quite sold on this.
What?
What?
Yeah.
Let me take you through my gallery.
In the first picture, you're going to see a city.
In the second picture, you're going to see another city.
In the third picture, wait, hold on to your dicks, folks. Yet another city.
Now, if you thought that was too much, you were right.
But you know what?
I'm such a giving god, I'm going to let you have a little bit more.
Oh, my god.
What's next?
Sit down.
You're going to want to sit down.
All right.
In the fourth picture.
That's right.
I included four pictures.
Maybe even more.
We'll see.
We have another city again.
Mr. Leverfield? Mr. Leverfield? Yes, yes, yes. You're in the We have another city again. Mr. Leverfield?
Mr. Leverfield, follow-up question?
Yes, you in the back with the erection.
Do the cities poop?
Are cities pooping not cool?
Well, I think
they're cool. Yes, of course.
Yes, duh.
Please continue.
In the sixth picture, because we don't care about animals, we have a view of the world.
Right.
You see?
And it's round.
It's a circle.
Sure.
Another view of the planet your species will inhabit.
That's not the world now.
Yeah, that's different.
Yeah, that's a marble.
Disaster mode with the monster destroying itself.
We don't care about that because there's no shitting involved.
Mr. Lowerfield.
Yes.
From now on, I would like to be addressed as Mr. Lovalovafield.
I'm sorry.
Girl.
Sorry, Mr. Lovalovafield.
How come one of your screenshots looks like Cities XL and is titled CitiesXL3.jpg?
That's because you can't read. Shut up.
Another one of your screenshots
looks suspiciously like
the game Spore.
That's because you can't read. Shut up.
Okay.
Fair enough.
Any other questions?
I would like to have more questions about pooping.
Anyone in the back, maybe?
No?
You and Jimmy Franks can just have a sidebar after the panel. I would like to have more questions about pooping. Anyone in the back, maybe? No? No, I'm done.
You and Jimmy Frames can just have a sidebar after the panel.
Looking forward to the game.
Well, one of the related games to this game is Looney Tunes Smackdown.
Oh, yeah!
Another home run for Clover Studios.
I would love to tell you about that, but alas, we're out of time.
I really like the disasters part of this,
where the disasters are a monster and tornado,
and there's a picture of Godzilla and a picture
of a tornado. Sure.
Later in the game, you can have those
two mate and make a
monstnado. I gotta say, that is a cool thing
for a monster to do.
I don't know if you know this, but tornadoes can
shit. Boots, what kind of genre of video
games do you usually gravitate towards?
I like a lot of different ones, indie games, but I really like music games.
I'm big on Rock Band.
Sure, sure.
Hey, here's a music game I'd love you to talk about.
Okay.
I don't want to pronounce it because I would prefer that you pronounce it.
Oh, yeah, this game's Oedio.
No, it's not, though.
Wrong.
Oedio.
No, it's not.
It's pronounced Oedio. Yeah, it's called Oedio. Oedio. No, it's not, though. Wrong. Awidio, pronounced Aw-dee-oh.
Yeah, it's called Aw-dee-oh.
Because you're in awe of it.
It's Awidio, pronounced Aw-dee-oh.
Awidio is an adventure game for the PS3,
being made by Lemmy Koopa 24 and Podweb.
The Miyamoto and the Hideo Kojima of their generation.
Mm-hmm.
It features a unique character
named DJ
as he goes on a quest to rid the land
of the evil Court Quiet
and his silencers. Sorry,
Count Quiet and his silencers.
Is this a sequel to DJ Boy?
I hope so. No.
Yeah, a spiritual sequel.
It was needed.
No.
Where does it take place, this game?
It takes place in the land of
Papa Roxy.
What happens when you mix Papa Roxy with Coke?
Papa Roxy.
Nothing.
I'm sorry.
I would prefer that the game took place in Papa Roxy. Nothing. I'm sorry. I would prefer that the game took place in Papa Roach-sy, but...
What's the story of audio?
I don't know.
Good.
Great.
But I made a category for it.
Right, you are.
That was your decision.
That wasn't forced upon you.
And in that category, you typed TBA.
Yeah.
I'm lazy even in my daydreams.
I made a section for story and later on I'll announce
that there's a story.
So what's the gameplay like?
During the game you move DJ
around a 3D environment
solving puzzles and defeating enemies.
Here in this video game, you do a video game.
Yes.
By pressing square, you use your beatbox attack to send musical notes flying at enemies, damaging them.
Really?
The biggest feature about this game is the custom soundtrack system the game uses.
feature about this game is the custom soundtrack system the game uses.
By scrolling through your
MP3 player, DJ
can select songs from
play during the quest.
The songs will have an
effect on himself, the enemies, and the
environment. It's like a side-scrolling beat-em-up
except for all you do is beatbox?
Oh man, check out the sick buff I got
from FaceDownAssUp.
My game is the pause screen from Toe Jam & Earl.
Yeah, no shit.
It absolutely is.
Rap, rap, toe jam, toe jam.
Big oop.
Hubba hubba.
For example, playing a really loud and fast song
will get DJ pumped up
and he'll be able to move faster
and take more damage without getting defeated
yeah just play like
Slayer shit non-stop
I mean I want to play Love Ballads cause that's all
that's going through my head
I plugged in a happy hardcore song and it just said
you win
I want to play play Scooter to win another happy hardcore song and it just said, you win.
Play Scooter to win.
Another example is that if a song like Michael Jackson's
Thriller is played, the song will be
a little zombie. I call bullshit on this entire page
of bullshit right there.
But
you obviously have not checked out
my Vincent Price algorithm detection.
The funk of 40,000 years.
So when it's played, it will summon a group of zombies to help DJ fight off the enemies.
Oh, zombies are friends. That's nice.
However, songs take up an amount of battery power,
so when a song is played, you lose that much battery power.
Right.
You know, that much.
If your battery power dies, you won't be able to play songs to help you.
You'll have to get an electrical source and charge it up again.
So it's crank high voltage?
Yeah.
Except that.
Mr. and Mr. Koopa, I have a question.
Can you tell me some of the artists
That have agreed to be on the soundtrack
I have a follow up question to Jimmy Franks
In addition to knowing the songs
It's really important that I know what effect
Each song provides
Oh sure yeah
I already told you about Michael Jackson's Thriller
Would you like to know
That in Green Day's Jaded,
DJ gets all pumped up
and makes his attacks more powerful.
How much battery pov does it cost?
Six battery pov.
I clicked the button to expand it,
so it actually says power on my screen.
Tayo Cruz's
higher makes DJ
jump higher enough.
What else?
If you listen
to Get Low, it makes him jump
lower.
Owl City's
Fireflies lets you see
in the dark.
The downside of that is that you're listening to Owl City's Fireflies lets you see in the dark. The downside of that is that you're listening to Owl City's Fireflies
as you do it. Yeah, yeah.
As opposed to Tyle Cruz
and Michael Jackson and the Green Day
which are really pleasant.
I'm just saying.
If you
listen to No Cars Go by
Arcade Fire, then
No Cars Will Go.
It actually says that.
Enemies using vehicles are badly damaged.
Fuck.
Any others?
There's stormy weather by the pixies,
which I guess you can guess.
Right?
Hypnotized by system of a down version.
What if I were into summoning ghosts and or stuff?
Do you think you could help me out there?
Oh, yeah.
Ghosts.
Yeah, if you're listening to some dead mouse or dead mouth fog, as I like to call them,
ghosts and stuff will summon a pack of ghosts.
So it doesn't summon stuff?
No, no stuff whatsoever, huh?
I am a fan of
Bon Iver's Calgary because I have no taste.
What will that do?
It causes enemies
to be enveloped in a fog that makes them
stumble and trip.
Burn on Calgary, I guess?
Is Calgary foggy?
Hey, hey, hey!
I'm a stupid, shitty nerd,
and I don't want to listen to your video game music
without putting other video game music into this video game music.
Then you can have GLaDOS' still alive in here.
Also, go drown yourself.
It will help you stay alive.
No, not that one.
I want GLaDOS' earlier album.
You probably haven't heard of it.
I'm pretty fucking cool.
GLaDOS' still alive effect is kind of broken.
Read that, boots.
Yes, if you have 1% health when you use it, you regain all your health.
It costs no battery power, but it's difficult to get exactly 1% health.
While I'm playing a video game, I like to listen to the most depressing fucking song ever created.
So what happens if I play Talk Show Host by Radiohead?
Oh, the DJ temporarily disguises himself as an enemy, thus avoiding attacks.
Just like a talk show host.
Hey, I'm super psyched about audio.
It sounds great.
I'm really into it.
Yeah.
I've already bought it.
I would like to give you more money.
Is there any DLC I can buy?
No.
I want to buy a lot of DLC for this game.
Let's go to the separate article that has the list of DLC.
Are you kidding?
I don't need to know what everything does,
but what kind of packs can you sell me?
It is forever.
Oh, yeah, there's the entire album
Funeral by Arcade Fire.
There's a Gorillaz
pack. There's a Rockstar
pack, which is
I guess from Tayo Cruz's
album Rockstar. I'm a fucking dork again?
You think you could get some internet
memes up in this bitch? Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you want some...
Okay, some Rick Astley,
some Ozone.
I think GLaDOS has been well represented
enough in this kind of bit.
Yeah, there's apparently another GLaDOS song.
Sure, that's good.
Yeah. And the
song from Zombies
vs. Zombies, that's in there?
I don't... Probably shit.
Oh yeah, yep.
Yeah, it makes zombies come to help you out.
That's just copping out. That's just Thriller again.
Also, there's a...
There's a four-pack.
Also, remember, these songs are just
available from your own sound list.
But you have to buy the DLC
to make them do anything.
I mean, if you just play them without buying the DLC,
then it just pops up and says, you need to purchase this much to do anything. I mean, if you just play them without buying the DLC, then it just pops up and says,
you need to purchase this much to do this.
Yeah, at first the game made it sound like,
oh, it'll parse any song ever and make something out of it
because it'll magically know what the song is about.
But now they just do the Rock Band way of doing it.
Yeah, they got a lot of avarice in the game that doesn't exist.
Yeah, and speaking of that, I've got one last
piece of trivia to leave you with, just to
keep you out of the water.
Okay, if DJ loses all of his lives
in a level and gets a game over,
Friday will start playing.
Fuck you!
Fuck you in the eye socket!
Oh, you're so funny.
I'm a fucking hopeless nerd and I love GLaDOS songs, but Friday, ugh.
Nobody will want to listen to that.
And if you play it too long, if the game gets overplayed, then the Harlem Shake starts playing.
That's far too current.
Yeah, sorry, pal.
Isfahan?
Yes.
I believe you wanted to tell me about your game.
Oh, yes.
I've been working on this one for a while,
folks. Okay.
Okay, guys.
This game,
probably haven't heard of it before.
It's called Super Mario Brothers
slash probably haven't heard of it before it's called super mario brothers slash red
wash it yeah I warm it red so anyway super mario brothers slash red or wire
ripples is a 2000 so it's been back the game you like is never coming out. Murder, murder, Jesus!
Actually,
Twin Peaks video game has already been made.
It's called Deadly Premonition.
Pretty much, yeah.
This is a 2014 Mario game for the Wii U and 3DS.
I like that it takes the people of Fantendo
to go, hey Nintendo,
how about you make a knock-off Mario game?
Yeah, On your
Nintendo console. You thought about it? I mean,
I'm just spitballing here.
Okay, so you've been sitting on this Mario property
way too long.
No, no, we gotta protect the
integrity! Yeah, who is this
Mario again? I'm sorry.
Okay, here's the story.
Mario and Bowser are fighting
in the original Super Mario Bros. game.
Good.
The screen splits in half
and they are fighting in new Super Mario Bros. 2.
What?
Okay, with me?
Okay, sure, sure, fine.
Once they both defeat Bowser,
so once Bowser defeats himself,
a mirror appears.
Okay.
Once they look in it, they see their past slash future self because it's the same thing apparently.
Sure.
So Bowser sees himself as young and handsome or something.
Yeah, or baby Bowser.
Oh, before everything went to shit.
Yeah.
Back during his modeling days.
Yeah.
Okay, Mario is about to jump through the mirror when Toadsworth comes in a panic,
accidentally breaking the mirror.
What?
He comes so hard.
Holy shit.
Mario!
Junkin', junkin', junkin'.
Woo!
Mario, Mario, wait a minute.
Funny bread.
Funny bread, you obviously haven't seen Bowser
in his modeling days.
Yeah, I...
Okay, this prevents Bowser's
past defeats, replacing them
with Bowser winning.
Princess Peach was
married to Bowser, which totally
didn't happen in Super Paper Mario.
Introducing
only one Koopaling,
colon, Jacob Koopa.
By the way, the guy who made this, I bet his name is
Jacob.
I think his name is Koopa. By the way, the guy who made this, I bet his name is Jacob. I think his name is Koopa.
Well, there's already Lemmy Koopa
24. Jacob Koopa,
who was Koopa's son, was one day in an office
typing on a computer. He got an email.
Mario
is the only one to remember
the incident. He decides
to go back to the past and see
what had changed, which only
makes him learn that he has been trapped in an
alternate universe where Mario never even came to the
Mushroom Kingdom. Okay?
Koopa Looper.
Oh yeah, I get it.
Okay.
However,
since Bowser does not
know him in this universe, Bowser
tries to help him get back along with the help of Princess Peach and Jacob, who is, again, not the self-insert.
Sure.
Toads, however, are replaced by Miis in this universe.
What the hell?
And that's all I have to say about my game.
It's still going to be fucking jumping, right?
Like, it's just going to be a couple hours of jumping.
Mario will go, oh! Like, that's what will happen, right? It's just going to be a couple hours of jumping. Mario will go,
Oh!
That's what will happen, right?
I don't know. That's everything I've written.
That's everything I've written about this game.
I have nothing
to say about the gameplay.
I have no character designs.
Well, you know what? After reading that,
I've got to say, that really was repus.
Yeah.
Tell me about your other game, Mario Kart Extreme.
That's extreme that starts with an X.
Okay, bros. Let me tell you about Mario Kart Extreme.
Also called Mario Kart Extreme.
Okay.
Moron.
Right. It's a kart racing video game for the Nintendo Wii U.
Mario Kart Extreme is the eighth mainstream game in the Mario Kart series,
the fourth for a whole console, and the first game on the Nintendo Wii U.
It's a launch title.
Oh, no thanks, Matt.
I only play indie Mario Kart games.
So that mainstream shit for me.
Tired of the lamestream Mario Kart media.
Oh, he meant the first Mario Kart
game on the Wii U. Okay.
Mario Kart Extreme is set to release
in March 2013.
Alright, so it must be delayed
maybe a couple months,
I'm sure. Game delay. You know,
when you get a release date, you add two quarters.
It's just regular Mario Kart, except you get
three blue shells. It's extreme!
Well, wait, no, just tell me about the gameplay of Mario Kart Extreme.
In Mario Kart Extreme, coins reappear from Super Mario Kart, Mario Kart Super Circuit, and Mario Kart 7.
So in a Mario Kart game, they are recycling items from older games, which has never happened before.
Recycling things from Mario Kart? Shit!
older games, which has never happened before.
Recycling things from Mario Kart?
Shit!
Coins will boost you and can give you more kart customization
parts. I'm a little disappointed that the
customization starts with a C
and not a K.
Can you
just read a little bit of the
mode that is entirely in a
giant parenthetical?
And this is where my medication
wore off, so...
Well, no, just do the modes.
Just build up to it.
What modes are available
in Mario Kart Extreme?
There's an extreme number of modes.
Oh, yeah. There's Grand Prix.
Right.
And the second bullet point
is the events from Tamastar Circus Stage of 1st to 13th RetroTrek's third GOT trophy.
Those are my favorite GOT trophies.
That guy back there knows what I'm talking about.
Yeah, bro.
1st to 5th, this shouldn't be a bulleted list, but okay.
It's a mode.
Well, technically the mode is Grand Prix.
There's 1st to 5th mode.
There's 6th to 9th mode. There's 10th to 13 a mode. Well, technically, the mode is Grand Prix. There's first to fifth mode. There's sixth to ninth mode.
There's tenth to thirteenth mode.
There's fourteenth to twentieth mode.
That's my favorite.
And then there's Francis E. Deck mode.
And then there's time trails mode, where you race against a timer.
Tell me about Francis E. Deck mode.
What's that mode like?
Closing ceremony from Final Cup.
Tempestar Circus,
Dan Tochi. Wow, congratulations. Bravo, bravo.
Let me introduce our talented and dedicated racer.
I introduce you, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi,
and Mamchi. Ladies and gentlemen, and me,
Redshin, Men, Doraemon, Nigechi, and Kuchipachi.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mamichi, Ganon,
Manpon, Kuromamachi, Furfurichi,
and Juretichi.
Juretichi, Kurachichi, Moribuchi,
Juretichi, and Midori-Chichi.
And finally, the talent actor who says Zelda to the villain when Mamichichi. Mamatichi. Mamatichi. Mamatichi. And finally, the talent actor who says hello to the villain when Mamatichi leaves his family
to live in Dream Town, Ikarichi.
Ladies and gentlemen, how about one last round of applause for the racer, eh?
Why are Mario Kart Racer 20 people getting along so well?
Actually, this has all been just one of the many Dream Town of the Tamastar Circus.
How was it?
Did you enjoy yourselves?
Thank you very much on Tamastar Circus.
We hope to see you again here at Tamastar Circus.
Thank you, everyone. Goodbye, and more.
Today's night of the congratulation parade.
Let's enjoy everyone.
Did you just buy a really amazing speak-and-spell to do that reading?
Yes, let's enjoy everyone.
Okay, then there's time trails.
We race against the timer.
I think we just went on a time trail
Just a second ago
You get better score for new stuff
Then there's versus mode
Choose whatever course you want to race on
Nothing about racing against other players
Just you get to choose the course in versus mode
That's the one you want to race on
You don't actually get to race on it, right?
You're just like, oh, man, I'd love if I could do that.
Okay.
So cool.
Then there's battle mode.
It's an additional mode from the others, which lets you battle against opponents.
And there's a sub mode, which is balloon battle, which is already in Mario Kart.
Then there's coin runners.
Get as many coins as you can. Got to get that dollar. Then there's Coin Runners. Get as many coins as you can. Gotta get that dollar.
And there's also Mission Mode.
You complete various tasks
to unlock various things. I'm going to guess
one of the tasks is winning the race.
Then there's
Other Modes, which is a separate
section for one thing.
And it's Mario Kart Channel.
We have modes, and now we have other modes.
Race against your friend's ghost, or even make your own
Grand Prix.
How many characters are we limited
when naming our Grand Prix? Because I've heard
that you got a pretty long name earlier.
Just...
Okay, so
I want to tell you about Police Academy
training.
I bet they were able about Police Academy training.
I bet they were able to get Bobcat.
No, no, it's... We both went to that same actor, even though...
It's a Steve Guttenberg movie.
Yeah, I wasn't about to go to Steve Guttenberg.
It's a Bubba Jones movie, dumb shit.
I know it.
I'm sorry, I totally...
Too tall. I was mistaking. I totally shit. I know it. I'm sorry. I totally... Too tall.
I was mistaking.
I totally led you astray, and I'm sorry with the Bobcat Goldthwait.
This is actually...
This game is actually Police Acadami.
I was just about to say.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, you dodged that litigation there.
Acadami.
All right.
So, Police Acadami Training is a Nintendo DS game and the first game in the Police Akadami series.
I keep doing that.
I totally think that's how it goes.
Which quickly became the flagship franchise for Vind Incorporated.
They make Twizzlers.
And spawned three spinoffs with the Racing series, nursing school series, and the pewter police
series.
Do they like
police Warhammer
40k figurines or something?
Maybe, yeah.
The misspelling of Academy
in the title was intentional
to separate it from the real life
world. Was the misspelling
of misspelling and separate also
intentional? You're dumb. The series of
documentaries that start
Steve Goodhart.
I knew that was going to happen. I was actually
just waiting.
Your academy. I can't release
a Mario game, but what if I released
a Mario game?
Your academy.
It's me. It's me. It's Mario.
Alright, so
here, you want to know what the gameplay is like?
I sure do. You use a gameplay
to use a directional pad. You use a
controller to move. But anyway, let me tell you about the story.
So the
game takes place through the eyes of Jenny,
a recruit in the Kanto
Police Akadami.
You play as Jenny as you
train to follow criminals
and use your Pokemon partners
and defeat villains.
So you can't call it Academy
because you might get sued, but you know,
just ripping off Pokemon.
You didn't put the accent over the E, so that still
is like legally distinguishable, right?
It's Pokemon.
Pokemon.
Can I be Jenny J. Jennifer 7
or whatever her name was?
The game starts off in an apartment
in Vermilion City where two young
girls, Jenny and Joy, are meeting each
other for the first time. They
introduce each other. Jenny
is a police academy
recruit and Joy is a
nurse in capital training.
The next part, okay, the next part is the tutorial.
Oh, okay, good, yeah.
And it's at the police academy
where Jenny meets and becomes fast friends
with Farrell, a recruit, and Marble.
They're both given grow life powers.
Are you still awake yet?
I don't believe they're powers.
Growlithe.
I don't know if this makes any more sense.
You're sorry.
I'm sorry.
They're given grow life partners.
Yeah.
Now this shit makes sense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now it's all good.
The two hang out with and Jenny introduces Marble to Joy.
Oh, this is an orgy, isn't it?
Yeah.
So first Jenny was introduced.
Then Joy.
Yep.
I want to tell the person who wrote this, you're probably not going to get away with your outright copyright infringement
if you link the names to the characters you're ripping off,
which you kind of do in this article right now.
Because I click Marvel, it's like...
I think they were focused on the wrong thing when they spelled Akadami differently.
Well, I looked at Marvel, and I'm like,
I don't remember Marvel from Pokemon, and I clicked on it.
It's like, oh, there's the Pokemon character.
So they hang out a milk bar where they meet a lonely boy, Reggie,
who Jenny immediately becomes infatuated with.
That's the worst.
She's so factually interested.
Yeah.
They find out he's a Pokemon breeder, and then they commit ultra-violence, I assume,
because that's usually what happens when you leave a milk bar.
And milk bars, yeah.
I think becoming infatuated with means writing a Wikipedia page.
The game progresses when the four leave the bar
and see some strange activities with the citizens.
They are attacking each other for no reason,
and they are acting like zombies.
Jenny goes around and snaps them out of this confusion by hitting them with her baton.
I like your stupid fucking adventure game logic.
How are we ever supposed to figure that out?
She put a mustache on the baton beforehand.
Okay.
Never saw it coming.
Oh, there's a skinny black guy heading towards.
Oh, wow.
It's not a black guy at all.
It's a baton.
The four
friends then follow the clues and find
out the city citizens are being
hypnotized by a psychic...
No. No.
Oh, you're absolutely right.
They're not being hypnotized. They're being
hypnotized.
Hyptonitized.
Good enough. By a psychic Pokemon from across the ocean.
They're really good.
They're really talented.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, so then what happens?
So Jenny meets a Squirtle.
I'm assuming you're completely following the story, right?
Yep.
So far, so good.
Jenny makes a Squirtle.
It's been causing a lot of trouble, but she befriends him and takes him across to a small island
where she finds out that Team Rocket have been the ones behind the psychic Pokemon.
Jenny steals a rocket hat,
which is not a safe thing to wear for proof,
and surfs back to the shore and finds her friends.
They find a friend, Pidgeot, who flies them all over.
They enter the base and
take down Team Rocket, who
are being led by
Jenny and Marble's teacher
Sergeant Malone.
Once they have defeated Team Rocket,
they all return to their regular lives.
The end.
That sounds wonderful. I just want to know more about the fighting
though.
Oh yeah, you do want to know about the fighting.
Okay, so here's the thing about the fighting.
Most of the battling is not Pokemon battles, but rather battles with people.
Oh, so the magazine about famous folks.
It is usually Jenny hitting foes with her baton to reduce their health.
They do not like that.
I kind of get off to Jenny beating people.
Yeah.
I'm getting that vibe. Just make sure you have the mustache
on there. This, of course, is the beginning of the
Police Akadami series.
This is Police Akadami training.
Then there's Police Akadami graduation.
Police Akadami relocation.
Police Akadami search.
Police Akadami answers.
Police Akadami SCPD. Akadami Answers. Police Akadami SCPD.
I'll just have to assume they moved to Santa Cruz.
Yeah.
Then there are, of course, two kart racing games,
Police Akadami Racers and Police Akadami Racer X.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Every IP out there needs a shitty kart racing game.
Even the ones that really don't exist.
Even the racers
are just about Jenny hitting people with batons.
Yeah, that's the only
item.
She just beats the shit out of a kart with a baton.
It's a bunch of Pokemon racing around
a go-kart course
and then she just comes out and beats the shit out of them.
Hey,
Jimmy Franks.
Yeah.
How do you feel about leading questions?
I love them.
Great.
All right.
I'm going to give you a choice then of two different pieces you can read,
and you are totally free to choose whichever one you like.
So your first option is Adam's Tropical Vacation.
Oh, that sounds pleasant.
Your second option is Mario Sing-Along to Go,
Dolly Parton, and Kenny Rogers.
Oh, God.
Again, your choice.
I can't imagine which one you'll choose.
You can't choose wrong.
Oh, God.
You said coin toss.
I'm going to say the Dolly Parton one.
Oh, interesting.
All right, then.
Here you are.
This is Mario Sing-Along to Go, Dolly Parton one. Oh, interesting. Alright then. Here you are. This is Mario
Sing-Along to Go, Dolly Parton
and Kenny Rogers. Oh, wow.
The box art alone makes me want to buy
this thing. Which one is Mario?
It's a DS game.
You may think Mario's
missing from the box cover, but he's sandwiched
between Kenny and Dolly. No, he's sandwiched between
Dolly's tits.
It's a throwback to the actual game
Mario is missing.
Parentheses between Dolly Parton's tits.
Yeah.
Well, I'd like to tell you
a story about Mario sing-along
to go with Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.
Sells and sells.
That's great. I'm in.
Mario sing-along to go with Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.
He's also called Mario sing-along on the go, Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers in Europe and Australia.
Oh, yes.
Pardon?
Because Mario sing-along to go doesn't translate well outside of America.
Yeah, yeah.
It sounds weird on the Australian tongue.
Yeah, yeah, it sounds weird on the Australian tongue.
It's the second of the Mario sing-along to go games on the Nintendo DS,
the ninth game in the Mario sing-along series.
I'm sure it is.
Oh, good.
I've been looking for a good karaoke Nintendo DS game that I can play on the bus. I have loved, I have wanted to hear Islands in the Stream
in a really shitty Italian accent.
I've just been clamoring for that.
Islands in the Stream!
Islands in the Stream! That's just what we are. From the person beside clamoring for that. I love it! That's what we are!
From the person beside you.
This game was invented by somebody that said,
I bet I could make somebody's bus ride
more uncomfortable.
I just dropped in!
You got to know
when to hold them and know when to fold them.
Yeah, that's the most likely Kenny Rogers song to be in there, Lemon.
So, Jimmy Franks, I got a question.
Yeah.
I love karaoke, but I hate pronouncing it right.
Hopefully there's a mode for me.
Well, we call it, where I'm from, we call it Kurok.
Oh, thank you.
And I want to tell you about how that works.
Now, Kurok mode in Mario Sing-Along to Go Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers
works like this. The players
select their avatar and song, and then they
take it in turns to sing into the microphone.
They go one at a time
on the same song. The person who gets the most
points wins the singing duel. You can also play
by yourself. Oh, Kurok.
Oh, okay.
Why didn't you just say
Kurok? Now I get it.
Yeah, Kurok? Now I get it.
Yeah, Kurok.
You guys, look, we're simple people.
We're simple people here.
We don't have all these fancy three-syllable words like you do.
What are the characters that I can use?
I assume Deli Parton and Kenny Rogers, right?
Well, it's just ten characters just like the original.
I mean, you're not a fan of the Mario Sing-Along-To-Go series?
I guess I'm not, to tell you the truth.
Well, there's Mario and Luigi and Peach and Bowser and Daisy, Wario,
Waluigi, Donkey Kong,
Yoshi and Rosalina.
Yoshi! I want to play as Yoshi!
And Mario
is the point of having a character
in a karaoke game!
I don't understand!
I just dropped it to see what condition my condition was in. I love you. You're in a karaoke game. I don't understand. Uh-oh.
I just dropped it to see what condition my condition was in.
That's not in here, goddammit.
It's still not going to be in the game. What songs are in here?
Oh, well, all the hits, all your favorites.
We got Dolly Parton's Jolene, 9 to 5, Little Sparrow, Coat of Many Colors, I Will Always
Love You, Joshua Love Is Like a Butterfly, The Bargain Story, 9 to 5, little sparrow, coat of many colors. I will always love you. Joshua, love is like a butterfly.
The Bargain Store, here you come again.
A heartbreaker.
FK Rogers, the gambler.
Lucille, daytime friends.
Love or something like it, she believes in me.
You decorated my life, coward of the county.
And lady.
And a duets.
Islands in the stream and real love.
Sure.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Adrolene, I'm begging for you.
Please don't take up my man.
Please don't take up my man.
Please don't take up my man.
What games are there
in the Mario sing-along series, by the way?
Well, you know, I'm glad you asked.
It is Labor of Love. It's something I
have been working on for a very long time.
Just to name a few.
Right.
There are.
Let me scroll down here.
Well, there is in the Mario sing-along series, you got Superstar, Country.
Wait, I'm sorry.
You need to pronounce these games correctly.
I was about to say.
Superstar.
There it is.
Country.
Boys versus girls.
Disney. Rocks. Down Under. Country. Boys versus girls. Disney.
Rocks.
Down Under.
Legends.
Garrett.
Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood.
And, of course, Mega Mike, which I believe is an accessory.
Now, that was the experience I get when I sit next to someone on a bus.
Super star. Country. Now that was the experience I get when I sit next to someone on a bus. Superstar!
The Mega Mike accessory.
Country!
The Mega Mike accessory is not compatible with rocks!
Wait, why not?
Why not?
Down Under?
Down Under is all Australian bands.
Oh, I thought it was all about anal sex.
So, yeah, you got ACDC, In Excess, Men at Work. That's it. Olivia Newton-John. Yeah, I thought it was all about anal sex. You got ACDC, In Excess,
Men at Work. That's it.
Olivia Newton-John. Yeah, there you go.
Eskimo Joe. And Wolf Mother
apparently?
Sure, maybe. No, that is one of the
songs on it. I just clicked on it.
There's a Wolf Mother song on there.
In Excess. Well, Silverchair,
let's not forget that. Oh, of course.
They had like a hit.
Yeah, so you'll be happy to know that the Rocks game, Silverchair, let's not forget that. They had like a hit. Yeah, so you'll be happy to know
that the Rocks game, I mean, I'm
a fan of rock music.
So I get such rocking hits
as Animal by Nickelback.
Man, that's pretty rocking.
Self-Steam by The Offspring.
Vertigo by U2.
Sure, yeah.
Rocking.
And one of the most rockin' bands
in the world, I'm talking about Coldplay.
Coldplay.
I don't know about you, but I like to rock
to Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars.
I rock the fuck out to that.
Good.
I did the dollar for the nookie.
Oh, come on, I'm not the nookie.
Like a chump, but what? Like a chump, new key. Like a chump.
But what?
Like a chump.
But what?
Like a chump.
But what?
I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that.
Nintendo.
It's for breakfast now.
Nintendo.
It's a cereal.
Wow.
Nintendo.
And there we go.
We're out about an hour of Big Ass Nerds.
It's a cereal.
Wow.
Big Ass Nerds. Yeah, that serial. Wow. Big Ass Nerds.
Yeah, that's right.
You got that reference.
It's fun.
What'd you learn this week?
I learned that there are actually bigger ways of wasting your time out there than writing
Transformers fan scripts.
Who would have thought?
Who would have thought?
I mean, of all the things we've read about, you know, the adult baby, the supernatural fans writing their fanfic,
all the things you do, this is probably the biggest waste of time.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, with those other things, people might care about it.
You know, if you're a supernatural fan, you're into horrible kinky stuff, then you'll probably get your rocks off reading something somebody else wrote.
Sure, and maybe somebody shares that fetish, so maybe you're actually bringing pleasure into someone's eyes by providing this crap.
But with this, this is stuff people are just throwing out there that nobody asked for, that nobody cares about.
Like, who cares about your fan game?
It just really is the definition of a black hole.
Yeah, yeah.
You're not writing.
You're not developing.
You're not creating.
You're not learning a skill set.
Like, there's no part of this that will help you out later.
And the absolute minimum,
there's not even much feedback.
I mean, it's a wiki.
It's a wiki.
There's the discussion page, I guess, maybe.
Yeah, maybe people can put thumbs up.
I also like that you made Super Mario Bros. 167.
Yeah.
Mario gets a fire flower in my game.
And I understand, I mean, I'm a nerd, you know,
I understand the appeal of thinking up,
oh, it'd be cool if there was a game that did this or that,
but I'm not deluded enough to think that anybody else gives a shit.
Right.
And it's so, I mean, the thing that's just really fucking frustrating about it is that there are absolutely so many free open source tools that you can use.
Yep.
And you can just sit down with the thing. You want to make a fucking Mario, except for his name is Carleo, because your name is Carl.
except for his name is Carleo, because your name is Carl.
If you want to make that game, you can fucking sit down.
You can put it together.
It'll look like shit.
It'll be awful.
Nobody will play it.
You'll manage to convince your friend to play it,
and that'll go.
But at least you've done something.
At least you have skills to go from. Like this, you know, the greatest extent of vanity is to
say that you created a video game when you don't create
a video game. It's just, it's everything
that makes people angry about, quote,
kids today. You know what I mean?
And let's say, even on Fantendo, let's
say you find a game that actually sounds
intriguing. It sounds well thought
out. You know, there's a plot. They figured
out everything. Even in
that best case scenario yeah
which won't ever happen this person still was too lazy to actually make their game
so yeah there's nowhere to go from there and if you're looking for movers and shakers i would
recommend that you go to ball pits that is b-a-l-l-p dot i-t and go to the website thfbl.us goodbye
okay so that's just all you know that's all pretty boilerplate rpg stuff uh what else is
part of your summary that makes it you know the twist what's the what's the interesting part
uh well could you point that out because i'm lost you know what what what else is part of your summary that makes it, you know, the twist? What's the interesting part?
Uh, well, could you point that out? Because I'm lost.
No, what else is in the summary?
You just explained
boilerplate RPG, so I'm
sure there's, is there anything else that happens?
Uh,
no.
Yes, there we go.
I've got multiplayer, though.
That was where I was leaving you, yes.
Yeah.