The F Plus - 117: My Mistress is Machine Washable
Episode Date: December 3, 2013Many children find comfort in stuffed animals as constant companions along their journey of growing up, providing a silent, understanding, and eternally available presence in a strange and overwh...elming experience. Then, for a very very very small minority of people, those thoughts change. What was once a reliable friend becomes a masturbation sleeve, except it's worse than that because you insist you love it. That's right, it's plushies. This week, The F Plus tells another story about Mother.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Why couldn't we do wikiHow this week?
We did wikiHow last week, asshole!
I know, goddammit!
What episode would it- what Jimmy Franks episode would it be without the Jimmy Franks curse?
Alright, alright, alright, I'm gonna get to this. Hello there! This is the F-Flush Podcast. Terrible Things Read With Enthusiasm. My name's Lemon.
And I'm Isfahan.
Isfahan, how are you doing?
I am doing wonderfully, especially right now.
Okay, yeah, good. You like being in these opening bumpers. They're fun to record.
Yeah, they are. It's a nice way to kind of
sink people into
the matter at hand.
Yeah, you know, we put on the little act where
we say, so, what's up with you?
And it always turns out
that, I guess, you're usually
a straight man, and then the other guy
is the guy who maybe
pretends to be interested in
the thing we'll be talking about this week.
It's a bit of a formula, but you know, it's a formula that works.
Somebody pretends to have the predilection that we're going to be talking about, so that
serves as a segue into the predilection itself.
Yeah, it's a classic opener.
Anyway, I'm balls deep and I'm my pet monster, woo!
All right then, let's get to our readers.
In the room tonight, we have Boots Ring here.
I filmed myself with two of my teddy bears having a threesome.
It was awesome, but I've never shown it to anyone.
Yes, Fahan.
It was awesome, but I've never shown it to anyone.
Yes, Fahan?
Plushies should never be tortured or else pain will be given back to ooh.
Stog!
An inflato plush with a bally inside of him is just all kinds of mer.
Jimmy Franks?
I don't recall ever seeing anything in scripture about plushie lust.
I'm a married guy, but I commit adultery with my plushies every chance I get,
and my wife knows about it.
And Lemon.
How to get a strategically placed hole in your giant kangaroo.
Warning! This page contains lots and lots of pictures.
Please heed that warning.
You will never unsee those pictures. Hey, F+.
Hi.
Hi there.
How are you guys doing?
Fantastic.
Great.
I'm Tony Gassi right now.
I want to ask you about your upbringing.
Did you have a favorite toy when you guys were growing up?
Like, did you have something that was special to you?
I did, Lemon.
Okay.
Did you fuck it?
No.
How do you fuck video games?
There's plenty of ways.
Normally, video games fuck you.
Would have been a lot of work at my dick and captain power but okay
today we're going to explore the world of puff plushies um you know we've existed for you know
i don't know 120 episodes somewhere in there and in that time we've never talked about people
having penetrative sex with stuffed animals.
A failing of ours?
Yes, of course.
I would say it's for good reason.
Because we didn't want to.
One that we should correct.
Okay, so we're going to get a little bit started out here with the topic of plushies.
Here is a gentleman that is very much
into his Care Bear, as you can see
from his avatar. He's the site admin.
We're going to skip down to
Lopunnylust.
Lopunnylust. Stog, if you'll take that one,
please. I was in Germany.
Lopunnylust.
How's that?
What's your avatar
say, Lopunnylust? So many women, lust. How's that? Sure? What's your avatar say for bunny lust?
So many women,
so many reasons to sleep
with my plushies!
Oh, that's an
eternal struggle. Oh man, there's
just so much pussy to choose from,
but I'd really rather fuck
my Care Bear.
I was in
Germany two months ago, and I need to break when I spotted this large two and a half foot rabbit.
Yeah.
I'm going to assume it was a stuffed rabbit.
I'm going to assume it wasn't.
Okay.
One of you is going to be proven wrong.
I went to the pet store with my knife.
I picked her up from the bottom shelf and noticed that she
had been marked down to 20 euros,
which was still a lot of money,
but she was made by the well-known
German manufacturer,
Hunic.
Okay, good.
Not freaked out yet?
The quality was absolutely
stunning. Her face was so whimsical
and lovey-dovey beyond words.
And for the cuddle characteristics, it was all so seductive.
Okay, now I'm creeped out.
Seductive?
She is inanimate.
How could she seduce you?
Her cuddle characteristics, obviously.
You obviously didn't see your eyelashes.
I like that this guy is extolling the virtues of German engineering.
I mean, everybody that drives a German car knows how well built their stuff is.
Yeah.
She is covered with a very fine fur, dyed orange down with the roots of the fur left
and right.
Well, I didn't pitch a tent right then and there.
Well, then put her back.
You can find better.
If you don't find the insta-boner rabbit.
She didn't even give me half-chop.
The shopkeeper threw me out and kept my camping supplies.
That's so rude.
I brought her to my hotel room where Grieve and I had our way with this new big bunny girl named Madison.
I'm always blown away as to how powerful and delicious orgasms are when taking a new plush
show for the first time.
So this is posted with the assumption that we know who or what Kree is.
Like the followers of the spread will be, ah yes, Kree.
Ah yes, yes.
Spruces up any encounter.
Oh, Eric Clapton,
you have to save me some.
Come on! This was a perfectly
nice fetish, and then you had to bring
Eric Clapton into it.
Oh, my baby fell out a window.
Shut the fuck up!
Maddie City's such a good kisser
that she just has to
shower me with a few of her bunny
kisses, and then she has her way
with me. What? She has
her way with you? Yeah.
She's insatiable,
man.
When she wants to give,
Madison doesn't hold back
anything back in letting me know.
Hmm.
There's a rather large overlap on the Venn diagram between furries and plushie lovers, for obvious reasons.
Evidence is right here, they're using yiff, which is...
Yep.
Oh my god, this guy has two more posts.
Yeah, no, he has a lot more posts.
Oh, fuck!
This is the weirdest travel with Rick Steves I've ever seen.
Be sure to check out the German bunnies.
Oh.
Okay, where was I?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sorry. uh okay uh where was i oh yeah yeah uh uh sorry oh by the way this
thread is entitled do you get sexually exited
so maybe he was thrown out of the uh the the toy store for
no no no the plushies exit his body
sexually through
his genitals.
That's what I took away from it
anyway.
Alright.
Boots.
If you'll go down to the bit that starts, I find
that getting it on with a plush lover...
Sure.
Was this supposedly from the same thread?
It should be, yeah, but I can't find it.
Oh, never mind.
Okay, it's on page one.
It's low-punny lust.
Oh, good.
Of course it is.
Yay, back to the site.
Yeah, back to the site.
Hey, I'm also low-punny lust.
I find that getting it on with a plush lover
is a much more deep and personal experience
when they have a name
that is meaningfully chosen and suits them.
It's all in the name.
Yeah.
Yeehung.
Tell Jessica
she's a beautiful rabbit
and that she has a wonderful mind.
I love the way...
She doesn't have a mind.
But you tell her that anyway
Just to impress her
She is cotton and check
You're going to hurt her feelings by talking like that
I don't think I am
I think I'm going to be okay
Don't listen to him Jessica
She is still like the placid waters
She can't listen to me
I love the way she thinks Her mind is a fortress I love the way she thinks. Her mind is a fortress.
I love the way she thinks, and her
idea is a really good one.
You know, the idea she had.
That one idea she had.
You two really were made for
each other, and complement
each other really well.
There must be a meaningful connection at the
start in order to be turned on
by a special plushie.
Like a boner.
Like a boner.
Not every potential plushmate that we see on a store shelf has that attribute to spark those kinds of feelings,
as they are all so very different with differing personalities.
No, no, not so much. different with differing personalities. Mmm. Mmm. Mm-hmm.
No. No, not so much.
Do you think these people have the kind of stomachs that kind of flop forward and hide
their junk?
Whoops.
They have to sit
at their computer chair with their legs splayed out to the
side because their stomachs are
just flopping forward so much.
Hey, Jimmy Franks.
Yo.
How do you know that you've gotten turned on by a plushie?
Oh, well, I get turned on if I find the plushie sexy.
Me too.
Me too, actually.
I'm sexually attracted to sexual things.
Yeah, you know, it's just perfectly normal, perfectly natural.
So, for example,
I was at the store today,
and they had swings in the ceiling with some plushies sitting on them.
One was rather big, I think like 60 centimeters
tall, a kangaroo, sitting
as if she was lifting her tail.
That was very exciting.
I recognized her.
I recognized her, and I knew where I could get
one like her, so in a few days, I'm heading out to get myself a kangaroo.
If you know what I mean.
I liked how she was up in a swing, and I could look up and see her from underneath.
My buddy Snowheart is also very good at getting me aroused.
We like to cuddle before we get busy.
Sometimes I finger him, too.
It's a him.
I enjoy cuddling a lot, getting to smell him.
I think plushies have a very erotic smell to them.
Cotton.
Especially if you have spooged in them.
Winky face!
If you know what I mean.
Also, this rabbit guy thinks that the preposition to is T-O-O.
Yeah.
Yeah, because that's the only thing that's wrong with that post.
I'm trying to deflect here, okay?
You concentrate on that, it's not as bad.
Rabbit, you have failed Isfahan's English course.
You've failed more than that.
Well, Lopunnylust from the Lopunnylust disagrees with you.
And he says, although I don't like to spooge up any of my plushies,
I do like to put a tiny amount of perfume on them,
and this really make for an irresistible make-out and yiff session.
I normally go for bigger bunnies in the 24-inch to 36-inch range,
but I have this positively huggable bunny
fitted with black shoulder-length hair
that frames her face very well.
The way she looks and her scented with perfume
really makes this 18-inch bunny pack so much passion
that blows me away every time.
Let's just say that we're both
sore and blissfully wiped
right out in each other's arms
after a good Yip session.
So he's actually put
perfume and a wig on the bunny like she's
a whore.
You're gonna be a pretty
bunny.
It's a bugs bunny. It's a bug's bunny.
Oh, God.
Fuck.
Yeah.
We have erotic
stories, and we absolutely,
absolutely, absolutely will get
to the erotic stories, but first,
Isfahan,
do your plushies like
to yiff or kiss each other?
No, because I don't have any.
Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
You have a link for me.
Yeah, let me ask the question again.
Do your plushies like to yiff or kiss each other?
My name is iCollect, and mine do.
Doesn't happen very often.
No, I can't imagine it does.
You get home from work...
For some reason, I always have to, like, be holding them.
You get home from work, and your Care Bear
and your Rainbow Brider 69...
I collect, it's not
what it looks like.
You whore!
And my little pony's just watching.
Last week it was Paddington,
and this week this.
I'm sorry, just Teddy Ruxpin started talking, and it was really hot.
He said he was my best friend.
I took the tape out and put it in smooth jazz, and then we just...
I like to mutually masturbate.
It doesn't happen very often,
but more recently than not,
I had Yift tender heart
and then brought her, him, out to the living room.
An actual Care Bear.
Good.
Yeah.
I often have trouble leaving a plushie
who I have just Yift.
So he doesn't kick plushies out of bed.
So I oftentimes bring them with me after cuddling them a bit.
I wouldn't kick him out of a bed for being inanimate.
I can't remember which plushie it was,
but I'm pretty sure he was already in the living room
when he and Tenderheart decided to have a yiffy experience.
So I placed them in the appropriate position on the couch and let them go to it, saying something like,
You both have a nice time.
Oh! Oh, you pimp!
Here's a parenthetical. I wasn't being sarcastic. I was merely saying that they should enjoy themselves.
Sounds like a pimp who rides around in an SUV.
Because I don't want you to misread the mood of the moment.
Perfectly wholesome.
They went at it for half an hour while I had some coffee and played around on the internet.
So this guy's getting off just imagining that his plushies are fucking in the other room. This, as so many F plus readings do, brings up the question, what really happened?
What in the world really happened?
Well, if you strip out all the narrative fluff, he pushed two plushies together, he talked to them, and then he went into another room and drank coffee.
His sexual fantasy is chaperoning a date with
two stuffed animals.
That's what I'm...
Well, if that's
his fantasy, then it became a reality.
Yeah, yeah. Way to succeed
in life, buddy.
Anyway,
I played around on the internet, as I do
every morning, because it's not like I have a job or anything.
I like to yiff in the morning time before my mother wakes up, when I am often the most awake and alert and can spend time alone with my plushies without my mother asking me if I am, quote, regressing mentally, just because I'm holding a plushie and carrying him slash her around.
Yeah, your mother would like that, too, if that didn't happen.
I want to know how old this guy is now.
I asked, did you have fun after they finished?
And they responded with an enthusiastic yes.
And I could tell that they were laughing and really enjoying the moment.
Hey, I'm just going to break in here.
Want to know how old he is?
Yeah, I totally do.
27.
Yay!
A little younger than I would have guessed, but okay.
Okay, well, just in case you think I don't have any issues.
Right, yeah!
Tell me about the law firm you work at.
We've known each other for a long time, so I'm going to confide this to you.
Good.
I have mental issues that pop up from time to time.
Oh, okay.
My mother means when she asks me this.
I have yet to tell her that if I hold a plushie, I just want to bond with them and to be close to them.
Here's a parenthetical.
That doesn't end.
She knows I gift plushies and has little or no objections
because I am now an adult and can make my own decisions.
No, no, you're actually not.
I mean, you're by some definitions an adult,
but by, I think, my definitions, you're not.
Yes.
We're Catholic.
We are Catholic.
Yep.
And she is on fire for God.
Why did he tell me to do this?
Prove your faith to me.
And Christianity teaches
than this kind of thing
is sexual deviance,
which leads me to a lot of guilt.
But even so,
my mother doesn't really lecture me or anything.
Just wanted to throw that out there.
She's giving up.
You're mistaken at which point
the deviance and
Catholicism worked into your brain.
It's not that you happen to be a plushie
and Christianity thinks
it's deviancy. It's that Christianity bred
the deviant... whatever. If I were a Hindu,
this would be totally okay.
Oh, yeah!
Those Unitarians, man. They'll marry you to anything. would be totally okay. Oh, yeah! Yeah, no, we totally...
Those Unitarians, man,
they'll marry you to anything.
Boots, you're Love Susaji.
Okay.
I'm also a super into Tenderheart.
I like that you can recognize
Care Bears on site.
Good job.
You're welcome.
I'm Love Susaji.
Yeah. Tenderheart loves to show her dominance You're welcome. Love Susaji. Mmm, yeah.
Tenderheart loves to show her dominance by spanking the other plushies.
I'm sure she plays with them too while I'm at work.
Her panties are always down a little when I come home.
Oh, God.
It's Toy Story, a XXX parody.
Yeah. Is Robin Williams
in that one, too? Hey, you see
that picture of me there?
My dick is in the plushie.
I like
your bedroom eyes there,
tender heart. That's true.
Stog, your plushie cars.
Plushie cars.
You're super into fucking the cars from Cars, I think.
I'm plushie cars.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're the worst of the Pixar movies.
Ah!
My dolphin plushie, Dora, has had a couple of boyfriends over the years. You're the worst of the Pixar movies. Ah! Oh!
My dolphin plush Adora has had a couple of boyfriends over the years.
One was named Green Bear, and the other was named Streak.
Smiley face.
I don't think they yip, though.
Who can tell?
I mean, they're getting up to all sorts of antics I have a question actually for all of you really
Oh, alright
It's condoms
But it's possessive
So possessive condoms?
Condoms what?
Oh, condoms, that was the sub shop
That was around the corner from my high school
Yeah
How is their turkey?
They're not in business anymore
Salty It's a little rubbery High school. Yeah. How is their turkey? They're not in business anymore.
Salty.
It's a little rubbery.
Come to Condoms.
Still better than Subway.
With a name this bad, our sandwiches have to be good.
All right.
So, Condoms, when you make love to your plush partners, do you use a condom?
Do you use a condom if the plush has an SPH, which is a strategically placed one?
Another thing borrowed from the furry community.
God damn it.
Answer for me is it depends on the plush.
Sorry, the sentence.
Most plush I use condom. I'm getting dumber with each sentence.
Yeah.
It's kind of like a poem.
I have a few with SPH,
and we, sir, I use a condom,
also depends on the plush.
Fantastic.
Jimmy Franks, low punny lust.
Because nobody could take low punny lust
because he is fucking everywhere in this episode.
I've entertained the idea of crafting in some kind of fleshlight into a big plushie.
Well, haven't we all?
Like Abigail, which I presume is one of his plushies.
Sure, of course, Abigail. But I think I would like to keep all my plushies intact
and try sandwiching a fleshlight
between Abigail
and another big bunny girl instead.
The condom idea sounds like a good one.
Sure, sure.
That's actually what I told a lot of girlfriends.
The condom idea sounds like a good one.
Let's discuss it in a month.
Let's back it up a little bit.
So he wants to keep his stuffed animals like mint on card.
He doesn't want them to.
Sure, of course.
I mean, otherwise it would negatively affect the resale value.
I think cutting a hole in your plushie also negatively affects the resale value.
Well, it depends on who you're selling it to.
Oh, that's true.
So his strategy is sound, to put the fleshlight between
two, and like
have sort of a menage
care bear. Sure, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I call it a fuck kebab.
The condom
idea sounds like a good one and can make for a more
unrestrained yiff, as I
really don't like to spooge up my lover's fur.
Again, going back to him keeping his...
He's so conscientious.
Still, the idea of...
In case some kids come over and they want to play with his stuffed animals, he wants to...
I'm sorry.
Still, the idea of being able to come inside Abigail would make the experience that much more intimate for sure.
I remember a YIF session with my first rabbit girl
where she got me to spooge her with a sloppy second.
She got you to do it!
Yeah.
With her wily ways!
A sloppy second what?
Her come-hitter whiskers.
I never thought I could lose myself to a plush rabbit like that.
It was so disgustingly delightful to really let go and submit to her.
Sure, because usually you're pretty sexually reserved, it sounds like.
Yeah.
The orgasms were stupidly powerful and earth-shatteringly profound,
followed by an endorphin-ridden cuddle session.
I was not too impressed with cleaning up the mess, though.
This mess is beneath my standards.
I could have done better.
I went to work and they didn't clean
up anything.
Stog, you're Bunny Boy.
Next post down. Bunny Boy.
Hi, I'm Bunny Boy.
You're cute. I'm sure I
won't hate you by the end of this post.
I'm cute and fuckable.
Oh.
Boner shrinking.
Put it in my ass.
Oh, boner.
Boner gone.
The only thing I do not like about Spoojigunnaplush is the cleanup afterwards.
I do not like messy
slash crusty fur, so it has to be
cleaned, dried, and combed
after use. It's the reason I do
prefer a condom.
I'm Woody Allen, too.
Well,
you know, I'm glad that you
controlled your sexual appetites then,
Woody.
Good job on not victimizing people anymore.
Yes, it was the first orgasm with the plush
that got me hooked, and I've been
eyeing my Abigail as well.
She has a slight depression right where
an SPH could be located.
I have helped that, but I feel
not a good idea yet.
So, these people
obviously have these specific
intricate fantasy
lives where they're
imagining their animals
fucking and giving
them come-hither looks, but at some
point, they have to stab
it in the genitals with a knife
to cut out a hole for their dick
to go. Well, they just turn
off the fantasy for that few moments.
Oh, okay.
You're going to be beautiful now.
It's like Psycho, but with stuffed toys.
Yeah, my girlfriend went under the knife.
Actually, speaking specifically to that,
Boots, go back to Love, Sue, Saji.
No condom.
Tenderheart has SPHs.
I just pull out the messy stuffing and replace it.
It's got a massive bag in the closet.
Replacement cum stuffing.
On a first-name basis with all the people at Joanne's Fabric.
Yeah.
Want to guess how many SPHs Tenderheart has?
More than one, since you used the plural.
Try five.
We're going to have romantic sex in the shoulder hole.
It's nostril night.
Let's get going.
It's nostril night. Let's get going. It's fine.
What's Hetted Dom says?
What's his outlook on life?
Yep.
I find better safe than Spoogey is good, Motto.
Plus, if you're possessive on the couch or something,
you may be getting the goo on more than just your plushie lover,
depending on how wild
your yiff is.
I can see it
not really mattering in the bedroom,
but personally
I prefer the living room setting,
which means I have to take other people
into account, such as my
furry ends,
who come over and
wouldn't appreciate sitting on said crusty
furniture. God damn.
Or buy a
crusty plushie, whether or not
they know what goes on, meow.
And my signature
is
that's a question you should
ask yourself, Megatron.
Sure, that's a useful quote.
I'm sure that's very profound if you know
the context in which it was.
The avatar above his post
is a fucking fat guy.
Like, you can tell he is
fucking fat.
Yeah, and he's welcoming you to Wolf Ridge
in such a way to say
Turn around the car! Turn around the car!
Oh, it's those kind
of wolves. Oh, God.
Jimmy Franks.
Yeah. Will you read
me a sexy story?
Sure. Oh, God.
Oh, that'd be so good. It's a long
story, but you know, there's
a bunch of preamble. We don't
really need to get, well, actually, no, it's mostly fucking at that point, too.
But we're going to get to the bottom of it, get to the real point of it.
So if you'll take it from mmm cream, you really are such a sexy rabbit.
All right.
I awoke to the gentle rustling of a blanket being drawn back.
I looked to see a twilight sunset in the windows,
and a candle was burning inside a lantern,
casting a soft romantic glow in the room.
Overdoing it.
A twilight sunset.
Yeah.
You just needed to add one to your word count, huh?
It sparkled.
I don't know.
It was a dusky sunset.
I felt the weight of my human partner on the bed And I looked to see him
Completely naked beside me
Oh my
He had pulled his belly up and I could see his penis
Why would he want to get naked
With a plushie like me
Must be The big reveal Why would he want to get naked with a plushie like me?
Oh.
Must be... Oh, okay.
The big reveal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There must be better choices for him to make.
Wouldn't he prefer to...
There are.
...mate with a human female instead?
Wow, this is...
So this story is being told from the plushie's perspective,
and the plushie has the most reasonable reaction to this.
This is absolutely the character that I identify with.
I want to know.
Yeah.
I was caught up in some self-loathing thoughts
when he lay down beside me and gently, ever so lovingly,
gathered me into his arms and began kissing me so softly.
He started with my ears, nibbling and caressing them
and working his way to where he stopped short of my mouth.
I looked up at him, wondering why he stopped, as I wanted more.
I wanted him to go further, to make me whole, to make me complete.
Mmm, cream, you really are such a sexy rabbit, he whispered so seductively.
I think it's impossible to whisper that seductively.
I'm calling bullshit.
I'm so happy and very fortunate to have you in my life, Kareem.
I really need you, he continued.
My heart was so filled with an indescribable sense of joy and relief
that my eyes were welling up with tears again.
You aren't describing it, though.
This time it was different.
Oh.
I looked up to his face, and with pleading eyes, I wanted him to make love to me.
And I wanted to fill the empty void in his life.
New projection here.
An eternity here.
So it seemed past before we resumed our torrentful but gentle kissing.
Oh, here we go.
Pull out your fucking thesaurus.
torridful but gentle kissing.
Oh, here we go. Pull out your fucking thesaurus.
He showered me with soft kisses as he worked
his way down between my legs, at which
I gasped and moaned, begging him
to tongue and kiss me deeper in my
rabbit hole.
No, the rabbit hole is the thing
your life is in.
Kiss me in my rabbit hole.
Kiss me.
Oh, man.
The blockheads are really just producing some terrible music these days.
He then laid me on my back on top of a large pillow
where I had a very commanding view of his rock-hard manhood.
I knew this was the moment that would seal our love for each other.
He wanted me as his plush lover
and I longed forever
to have him as my human partner.
We are united by flesh!
Oh, wait, no.
An overpowering sense
of deep connectedness engulfed us
as he positioned himself above me
where I was ready and eagerly awaiting
with open arms and legs spread wide.
Then it happened.
I felt the searing heat and throbbing rhythm of his pulse as he
teased me with the tip of his cock. But it didn't happen yet!
I felt the heat. At first, he only
stroked me fur deep with the tip of his swollen, veiny member.
I could see the head of his dick disappear underneath my fur as he continued to tease me.
He could tell that I was enjoying this as he gazed deep down into my eyes
as I felt the smoldering heat of his dick begin to turn me into such a sex-starved animal.
A fake one.
I think this is going to end.
I'm just calling it.
Maybe this is a spoiler.
I think this is going to end where the fake calling it maybe this is a spoiler I think this is going to end where
the fake rabbit turns into a real rabbit like Pinocchio
yeah it's like Pinocchio
I had that idea
I think this is just
going to end with a Harlequin rejection letter
hooray now I'm a real
rabbit and I need a fucking shower
oh god
when did uh
I like to think that the fans of erotic
fiction just
go through a lot of effort to convince themselves
that member is a word they want to see.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Ted Dick in there, too.
Ooh, cream. His voice trailed
off. I love you so much.
You really are such a hot and sexy rabbit.
He whispered to me, causing me to want with all my heart to fill the void in his life and complete him.
I wanted to do something special for him as we were in such a loving embrace with me on top of him.
My long, floppy ears fell like locks of blonde hair spilling on his chest.
And he would continue to kiss and caress them.
I could tell that he loved the feel of my fur on his skin,
and I loved how his body heat filled me as I felt the rhythm of his quickening heartbeat.
I found myself straddling him with his throbbing, steely member buried deep inside me once again.
He held me gently in such a way that I could gaze into his eyes as I rode him.
Oh, cream, cream, oh yes, give it to me, you hot rabbit.
He cried out.
Just in case you were in danger of forgetting.
Lost in rabbit lust as I could feel a hot building wetness spreading slowly from my pussy to my tail hole.
I understood this to be pre-cum as he hadn't released just yet.
I was determined more than ever before to make this moment
very special
for the both of us
because I felt
his soaked smoking
his soaked smoking
manhood
through my drenched fur.
Why is it
why is it soaked?
I understand the smoking.
There's a lot of friction
happening.
Well, where there's smoke
there's
He covered his dick
in gasoline
before he started
fucking the bunny. Oh.
He drove me to multiple orgasms as he repeatedly plunged back and forth from my pussy to my ass and feeling every contour of his veiny dick slide in and out of both my holes made me lose all control.
Wow, that would be unsanitary if you were
a stuffed animal. Yeah, you can get
a nasty infection. Not if you're a stuffed animal.
That's true.
Safe sex.
As I succumbed to
my human partner. Now it was his turn as I felt
him grind my wanting sex more forcefully
burying his manhood deep
in my ass. His moans
and cries were unbridled as he cried out
my name over and over
again as he submitted his
ha, spurting hot seed to me,
his rabbit mistress. I felt
every pulsating squirt of his searing
hot cum fill me.
As he quickened his thrust
into my hot-soaked rabbit hole to finish
with another couple of orgasms.
We both lay on the bed, completely wiped out,
and in total submission in each other's arms.
I knew as a plush rabbit I had finally arrived.
I have reached a point in my life where very few plushies get to experience.
You made your way through the cum shot.
It's all easy from here, right?
Yeah.
The nightmare of ending up belonging to a dumbed-down,
entitled, spoiled, rotten, snot-nosed brat was now so far removed from my life for good.
This is much better.
I might have been a stuffed animal that's owned by a child.
Instead, I'm a stuffed animal owned by a man-child who fucks me.
I'm so lucky.
We lay on our sides facing each other,
and he cooed and whispered softly into my ear his love for me,
telling me that I'm the first rabbit hottie he's ever been with.
Lies.
Yeah, yeah, I believe that.
Baby, you're the first.
You're the first stuffed rabbit I've ever fucked. He's a plushie player. Baby, you're the first you're the first stuffed rabbit I've ever
he's a plushie player
you're the still zero
he went on whispering
what I needed to hear from him as he paused
occasionally to shower me with kisses
and to receive my bunny kisses
the night drew to a close as I watched him
fall asleep we were lost in each other's
embrace as I snuggled closer to my man, feeling at one with him.
Sleep began to overtake me as I reflected on my sense of belonging and of how very proud I am of my human partner.
I wonder which Mr. Mr. song was on the radio at the time.
What's that? Which song?
Which Mr. Mr. song was on the radio doing this whole thing?
What's that? Which song?
Which Mr. Mister song was on the radio? This whole thing.
And how I will do
whatever it takes to look after him
and always be there for him.
You can't be the stuffed animal. I'm so proud
of you. I am
his rabbit mistress.
Yeah, it was definitely Curious.
That was the song that was playing.
I just wish I was dead tonight.
So take these broken wings.
Boots, you're going back to Love, Susaki.
What did you think of that story?
What did you think of that story?
Very emotional story.
I cried for the poor plushie's plight in the store.
That was overjoyed at the feelings of love.
Keep up the good work.
Hope to read more stories from you.
Do they really have to be coy, or is Love, Sususagi really going to pretend they didn't spank it?
By the way, my dick is still in Tenderheart.
And Tenderheart is still eyeing the door.
Stog,
Arctophile, what did you think of this?
This is the first time a
yiffy story has made me cry,
and now there is whatever as I have cried to my bear.
I'm serious, I cried!
It's crying to wetness!
It's crying to my bear!
They didn't cry a fucking tear.
They probably skipped the same stuff we did.
the same stuff we did.
Kaylin says,
that story inspired me. Thank you.
I hate to think what it inspired her to do.
Very proud. That story inspired me.
Thank you.
Okay, so this is a thread called Ben Caught.
All right.
I'm sure it's a bunch of people trying to convince each other that it wasn't embarrassing.
I'm proud of what it is.
Okay, so my name's CD Pikachu Lover.
Hi, I wonder if anyone has any funny stories
or someone that you know has been caught in the middle of yiffing.
Nope, not me.
I know when and where I can safely love with them.
Now you might creep, I'm also fucking boring.
It's behind Teddy.
Teddy Babes.
Yes, that's one of the reasons
that I've not been around.
I was not
yiffing as much, but Emma and I
were caught in a compromising
position.
I don't really want to go into details.
Oh, but you will.
It did not end well.
And no, as in knowledge, I have no plushie.
Okay.
I know I told you I didn't really want to go into details, but it all started with me being naked.
Well, since you asked.
Me being naked in an innocent massage given to me by Emma.
I must have fallen asleep.
Okay, sure.
When I woke up, my mother was shouting at me to get up as I was late for work.
Emma was laying over my genital region.
I worked nights and it had been a hot day, so I slept naked with Emma,
my plush bear companion with no duvet on or covered.
My alarm never went off. My mother was pretty
disgusted, and a big argument took
place. I tried to explain,
but it made no difference. All I can
say is that Emma is gone, and I am gutted.
This incident
has made me realize how much I am
into plushies.
That's weird.
It galvanized me. That's weird. It galvanized me.
That's not...
It firmed my resolve.
And I will have to...
Hey, wait a minute! I'm a pervert!
And I will have to become a secret plushophile.
There's really no alternative.
Yeah, I mean, you know, moving out,
but I guess that doesn't... Oh my god, no. That's really no alternative. Yeah, I mean, you know, moving out, but I guess that doesn't, yeah.
Oh my God, no.
That's beyond the pale.
Also, it has made me more determined to find another mate, but she will have to be smaller
and we will have to be very careful.
I have since put a lock on my door and my mother has calmed down.
Roll on the day flat prices come down and I can afford to move out.
Oh, by the way, I'm from UK Southeast, if you couldn't tell.
Still one of the
better British accents we've had.
Yeah.
I don't know where Emma went, but when I came home
she was gone. My mother told me I should
get a girlfriend.
Sound advice.
Oh, that's an optimistic mother.
Yeah. And that she would never
have let me keep Emma if she knew what I was going to get up to.
I don't know why, but I have a strange feeling Emma ended up in a car boot sale,
as my sister, capital S, has been doing a few recently.
No, Emma was burned.
Nope.
Yeah, correct.
Yeah.
I was good at it.
No, we sent Emma to a nice farm upstate.
A nice good one.
I was good at it, losing Emma, and I miss her.
Ooh, a tender heart.
It's as-is! It's as-is!
As-is is like underlying three times.
How come you Velcroed it to the table?
Why can't I pick it up?
You can if you buy it. It's all yours.
Why does this bear have...
Why does this thing have a hole in it?
As is.
As is.
I could not cry
or get angry because of the
tablet apostrophe S
Oh, the tablets.
I'm on for depression slash anxiety.
Surprise.
Caused by my shitty night job.
But I will be looking for another companion.
It's the night job
that's your problem.
Yeah.
Well, you know, eventually
all flat prices will go down.
And then I'll be able to move.
That's the only thing that's holding them back.
Yeah.
The market.
It's the market's fault.
Hey, minus Bunny Boy, I have a piece of advice fault. Hey, my name's Bunny Boy.
I have a piece of advice, okay, for you, specifically, Teddy Babes.
All right, listen up.
Piece of advice.
Here's a piece of advice.
A piece of advice.
As you are an adult, your mother has no right to decide what you can or cannot do with your life.
You need to point out to your mother that as a capital A adult, you decide, not her, what you
own and what you do.
Your mother has no right to get
rid of something that you purchased with your
money. It equates to theft
and possible destruction
of your personal property,
and that is a criminal offense under
the law! Yeah, you need
to call the cops on your mom for...
Gonna take another
break in here. Let's take guesses
as to how old Teddy Babes is.
Oh, that's...
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Thirty-five.
Thirty... Forty-three.
Oh!
Forty-three? Whoa!
Forty-fuckin'-three.
Damn it. Wow!
Wow! Well, I. Damn it. Wow. Wow.
Well, I guess you win the showcase.
Yeah.
Oh, God, shit.
What do I win?
What do I win?
I meant to say 100.
You win an old car that someone has shot into.
All right, Bob, I'm going to say one year, one year old.
Okay. Fuck. Okay.
Fuck.
Okay.
You need to make a stand, and you need to make her respect your privacy,
or you need to get out and get a place of your own.
Oh, that would be a great threat for your mother.
What do you think is more likely to happen,
a shouting match between a 43-year-old man and his mother, or
him moving the fuck out?
I love that he would
go up to his mother
and say,
look,
it's up to me if I want to fuck stuff
to animals, and if you don't like it,
I'll move out!
Yeah.
Well, okay, let's negotiate.
Okay.
Failure to do either will result in
the same thing happening again, unless, of course,
you don't fuck a stuffed animal, but I guess that's not an option.
Are you in control,
or are you being controlled? You decide.
It is a hard lesson that every person has to face at some stage of their life.
It's part of growing up.
You know what else is part of growing up?
Moving the fuck out.
No, that only happens in like worst case scenario.
I had a problem with my mother when I was 21, and it ended with my father saying to her,
It's about time you
relapsed. He is 21,
not 12, and he is not yours
to control. Since that day,
my mother has
learned that I make my decisions.
I have been thanked by
e-percentage equines.
Exquisite equines.
Of course, he didn't say that he moved out, just that...
Yeah.
I'm sure he lives at home, too.
Yes, correct.
Well, his mother's probably dead at this point, so assisted living it is.
Teddy Babes, what are you going to say about that?
Well, thanks for your replies.
You're welcome.
If I could afford to move out, I do the money i earn is crap i have put my name on the housing list but i have been told it could take up to three years so it's not worth doing i guess
i have explained to my mother capital m that she was out of order and that I am an adult and not a kid anymore. I pay
rent, etc., so what I decide to do
in my life is my choice.
Yeah, did she respond at all?
I kind of wish
I had a mother like you, Arctophile.
Ugh,
that got creepy fast.
You seem a really nice person who is kind
of gentle, but there we go. You cannot choose
your capital M mother.
As I said, capitalized mother, but not I.
That makes sense, actually.
She has calmed down a lot, and I think it was the initial shock of seeing me like that with Emma that did it.
Sure. I'm sure she's gotten used to it now, and now it's super comfortable.
I think my mother worries that working nights I do not get much social or human interaction.
I have explained that most of my work colleagues are two-faced and cannot be trusted,
and I would rather trust a plushie any time.
Plushies always pay back money when I loan it to them.
Congratulations, you're a killer.
I think it will take a while
to gather, to make her
understand, and the next plushie I meet
will have to be a smaller version,
although Emma was tops at yiffin' and
hugging, and I have to admit, I love
the feel of a plushie on my naked skin
and genitals. The softness is
just so amazing.
Emma was a big girl, and I
don't know if it would work with a smaller
plush.
She was a BBP.
More cushion for the pushin'.
She was a BBP. Big,
beautiful plush.
And I signed my post again, Teddy Babes.
Just so
you know, Teddy Babes did manage to get Emma back.
That's what doesn't happen.
And he had a happy ending for him.
I'm sure.
You know.
Yay.
Yay.
Boots.
Okay, fine.
Boots.
Hi.
Tell me about, Just share your favorite
Yiff session with me
Yes, I'll share with you my favorite Yiff session
Oh, great
I'm glad I asked
But I'll start with a question
What was the best Yiff session you ever had with a plushie?
Mine used to be the one I had
With Tenderheart
I'm getting typecasted here.
I just briefly, before you give your story,
and I like you too,
but before you give your story,
my name is Shark929, and I'd like to say,
that's a tough call.
All of mine have been great.
Okay, continue.
It's a strange way
to interrupt me, but okay.
Anyway, this is the one I had with Tenderheart
where we finally felt like
we were one with each other.
And I guess it still is.
Because when you achieve oneness with
a plushie, I don't think there
is any comparison.
As for sexual pleasure, I would have to say that
a session I had, my newest plushie Barkley, a dog from Babua that I snagged from eBay,
was one of the best ones. I have a thread on this section of the forum that explains some about him.
What surprises me is that we don't know each other really well
and yet he knows
how to have a good yiff session.
Oh my god.
The dog knows how to have a good yiff session, huh?
That's great.
Oh, you want me to go on more?
Yeah, probably, obviously.
God damn it.
It would be perfect if I felt like I was one with him the way I did with Tenderheart.
I'm not sure if it'll ever get to that level, but I think he will be the one of my soulmates.
Yeah, I have a sneaking suspicion it will get to that level.
He already tried.
Unless I'm stopped.
He already tried to help me through an emotional outburst, telling me to calm down that he was there for me.
You should shoot the president.
Hey, fuck the pain away.
I think that this is one of the first steps for any plushy and human relationship,
when you both seem to know each other well and are able to help each other get through hard times.
Barkley hasn't been here long,
so it surprises me how much he already knows.
And it's strange,
because I didn't really feel much of a connection
when I saw him on eBay.
I just thought he was adorable,
and plus, he was on E of the plushies
I had seen on the BABW site and had wanted to get but didn't have the funds or the permission from my mother.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Move out already.
He was keeper of the funds.
I guess he was just meant to be here with me.
Jesus Christ.
I didn't think Barkley was that attractive until
he was in my hands and I could fuck him.
The word mother appears in this
forum about as often as I expected it to.
Jimmy Frank,
scroll down to the very bottom and you are
Shay Kell.
Also, this forum seems to consist
of the same, like,
7 to 10 people. Yeah, so we can be, seems to consist of the same, like, seven to ten people.
Yeah, so we can be, I mean, we can be, like, emboldened by that.
It seems like it's a small community.
That's nice, right?
Right?
Whoever's editing this, Jimmy Franci, he's thinking about it, you know. Cricket sound.
I'm Shakell.
Hey, Creeper.
Yiffing with my mate Kellen is certainly fun.
He likes to talk and be talked to.
It's quite yum.
That's a new thing the kids are saying, right?
Though, my Victoria's very spirited in bed
Eventually we'll just pile in for an orgy
And devastate each other beyond exhaustion
It's well weapon
I could have heard a hundred line reads of it's quite yum and not heard one I liked
better than that
read the post above that
hey my name's Hedomsa
the one last night
when Alistair and I decided
to give him the sexual tension
and yiff like it was 1899
oh so you did yiff like it was 1899.
Oh, so you did yiff at all then?
The self-real age.
That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.
Oh, snap!
Got you.
Serve, serve, serve, serve, serve.
Okay, so on a semi-related topic,
just hearing about your fucking iCollect didn't really get the responses he was looking for.
So, Boots, you want to narrow down your question a little bit more?
Oh, yeah.
I think iCollect is just dedicated to keeping this forum going all by himself.
Like, if it's quiet for too long, he'll just ask another question.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Anyway, you have a plushie in your room besides your bedroom?
Not adjacent to your bedroom, but like the opposite side of the title track?
Hey, guys, need an excuse to talk more about how you fuck your plushies?
Yeah, what gets bundled in with a single track?
The B-sides.
Has anyone ever
do this?
I know when my room was being
remodeled, I had to resort
to the living room after my mom had gone
to bed.
She can't post without mentioning
his mother.
Jesus Christ!
She died in 1967.
This morning, I had quite an experience with my tender heart.
Fuck you, Lemon.
Mm-hmm.
An exerience.
You know, I thought I would be nicer to Jimmy Franks.
I feel like I torture him a lot in this.
So, uh... You get it.
I brought my radio into the bathroom
because it's always better for me to yiff if there's background noise.
I put a towel in.
Well, you know.
He loved it, and we had a good time, and I never felt so alive.
And Center Heart never felt so dead inside.
Yeah.
Every time I turn the lights out, I just want to get a rug burn on my dick.
It is like we haired a private moment.
Sure.
Oh, play on words.
You, sir, are the king of wit.
It's a pun, even though
it was a bear I was fucking.
Even though the rabbit fetishist is somebody else.
Oh, sorry.
I'm sure that any plushie wants to spend
time alone with their human partners.
Yeah.
I brought him back out of the living
room where some of my bedmates
were and explained what we had
done. I asked my
tiger, Tim, if
he would like to try what I had done with him.
He said,
I would be delighted.
I thought he was going to
say, that'd be great.
Timmy the tiger.
He's the knockoff.
He's very passionate and loving.
To let you know, my tender heart is not a Care Bear.
I named him after the Care Bear because he has a red heart on his chest.
Fuck!
There's nothing worse than having sex with a Kmart knockoff Care Bear doll.
I think you mean nothing better.
You used the wrong word there.
Yeah, I mean mean come on any thoughts
isn't isn't it amazing an amazing coincidence that everybody's plushies are all loving and
copacetic and agreeable yeah well you know i mean there's only so yeah there's only so many
stuffed animals that are sexually active so obviously stuffed animals that are sexually active. So obviously the ones that are sexually active are going to be the cream of the crop.
You know, the real caring, outgoing ones.
Like cream.
Right.
Yeah.
Stog, scroll down to Alryk.
A-L-R-Y-K.
Alryk.
You've been thanked two times.
Don't know why.
Two times.
My name's Ulrich, and just the bedroom so far,
but I would love to bring a bunch of my bears down to the basement
where I have my drum kit.
I can play for them.
Then I can play with them.
So adventurous, I'm going to bring my plushies
into another room.
I'm going to give them a shitty concert.
I'm going to think about how nice it would be
to bring them into another room.
Jimmy Franks,
low punny lust. I just like the point
that Alrick has now been thanked three times.
Drum solo!
Lots of lust filled Weekend honeymoons in various hotels
Oil field camps
Truck campers in a motor home
Because bunnies in heat
Don't care about where
So long as clean, comfortable and private
When my bunny girls are in heat
They want their man now
So imagine You've got Jed and his dog and private. When my buddy girls are in heat, they want their man now. So,
imagine you've got Jed
and his dog
and they're hunting
and they come across
they come across
him having his way with the oil fields.
Oh my god.
I just realized this is gross.
Yeah.
No shit.
Okay.
Where's the Atlanta one?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's good.
Good, so that's iCollect, so that goes back to Boots.
Second page.
You just were reminded of a super sexy story.
Speaking of, I was recently in Atlanta with my parents, and my mother and I were...
I were staying.
You can't even get through the first sentence without saying that.
I never have.
Anyway, we were staying
at one of my cousin's places.
I know it's weird that an awful
lot of family is involved in this story, but
trust me, it's going to get pretty hot.
I have no reason to disbelieve you.
I bought two plushies
on... I brought two plushies
on the trip with me, and one of them
is a yiffy plushie who expressed the desire to want to travel with me.
A tiger with huge paws.
His name is Tim.
Yeah, we just heard about him.
We just heard about him.
And I have no idea why,
but I'm very attracted to him and him to me.
Attract-rid.
You're a pervert.
I'm attract-rid.
I don't understand.
It's weird, huh? I'm attracted to this one Attract rid. I'm a attract rid. I don't understand. It's weird, huh?
I'm attracted to this one plushie.
Also, I fuck plushies all the time.
I asked him if he wanted to come, and he said, I'd be delighted, which is what he says a
lot.
It's not a very good catchphrase for a tiger right now.
So I brought him with me, and as I was lying in my bed in the cousin's office
i started talking to him about how romantic the light from the streetlights looked coming
through the window it reminded me of being in a big city we were north of atlanta not in the city
itself tim gave me the feeling that he was having the time of his life
just being with me and being
one of my only plushies with me.
The day
we were to leave, it was about five
in the morning, and I finally got the courage
to yiff him. Oh, oh,
I'm so glad you got it, because I'm sure
he was giving you signs all night.
I thought for a moment it might be
inappropriate to do this in someone else's house,
but then I said, fuck it, and I did.
Everyone's suffering
is not my concern!
I felt strange about it because
I wasn't at home, but we both had
fun. Had fun.
After that, we had
a cuddle fest.
You are the grossest
person on this forum. It's you.
I collect you are the grossest
person here. Why, thank you.
I took him out to the living room
feeling refreshed and ate some
cookies, homemade, and soy milk.
I'm lactose intolerant,
darn it.
I think that is the best way to end a gift
session, with cookies and TV and
a pleasured plushie right at your side
watching TV with you. Reminder, I'm
27 years old.
Oh, I thought you were 7.
This is one of the most
developmentally arrested people
we've ever read about.
Yes, that hideous,
absolutely hideous intersection
between, like, Turbo Pervert
and, like, teehee, I'm lactose intolerant, darn it.
I like cookies and milk.
It's the worst.
It's the worst thing you could be.
Well, let's move away to someplace much nicer and to some more F-plus singularity.
This is about belly fetish.
Yay.
My name's Cedar Tiger.
I happen to think a fat-bellied chubby plush is not only adorable, but IRL, my BF has a bit of one as well.
I'm coming to learn that I enjoy a soft, squishy, warm belly with a bit of roundness.
I also have a belly inflation kink, so I guess that's natural then, light bulb face.
I guess that's natural then.
I guess that's natural then.
I have a fetish, but I have another fetish, so that makes sense.
Like God intended.
That makes two fetishes.
That makes zero fetishes.
My eyes are naturally drawn to a fat plushie.
Yeah. Fuck.
And by the way, Creepo Boots, like, this post has four pages.
So, the problem is that you keep asking leading questions.
Like, all you do is just be like, I'm in the bat, dudes!
That's good enough.
Okay, so Arctophile.
Stog, if you want to take that.
Arctophile on the first page, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
The first Arctophile.
Well, I have a ball fetish,
so bellies sort of fall in there for me as balls.
My ex had a big
belly, and I used to like to
scrooze it the same way I
do a bear. Hides
under the piano.
What?
I'm willing to bet that
somebody in this community
with a big belly fetish gets a lot of
mileage. Well, there's
another person with a big belly, and another person with a big belly. It's a lot of mileage. Well, there's another person with a big belly
and another person with a big belly.
It's amazing we all have big bellies.
Let's bounce against each other.
I also like unemployed people that are really good at Nintendo.
Oh, hey!
Hey!
Yeah, Jimmy Franks on the second page.
Low punny lust.
Oh, it's him again.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Oh, God, there's pictures.
I just scrolled past.
Yeah.
I was happier when I didn't know what the rabbit looked like.
Now I do.
Yeah, it's, uh, I gotta say it's like a three.
That rabbit looks fucking sad.
She got a busted grill,
but her body is banging.
That rabbit has a rescue me face.
Oh, the rabbit's a butter face.
That rabbit's gonna end up
on a milk carton one of these days.
I might not have a belly fetish per se, but my low punny has a bitter one that I love to kiss.
Her belly is a little saggy and it's so soft.
She's always trying to get me to spooge her every time we have...
She is such a sexy, sultry rabbit girl and knows how to please.
One day she just might be a little too persistent and will succeed in getting her way.
All over her belly, that is.
Oh!
You fucking asshole.
Lemon, I want you to save this image and, like, rotate it so that the rabbit is facing right side up.
Because, oh my god, the face that rabbit is making is just...
That is the perfect face for this episode.
I did actually, yeah.
Tazzy Marie 2013 says,
I do! I have a Homer Simpson plushie I made myself just
so I could make him fatter than the regular
company made Homer Simpson
plushies are. What?
Okay, this is getting...
Oh, I just saw a guy
inflate his fox plushie with an
inflation... with a thing. Yeah.
We did see that. God damn it!
I clicked the middle mouse button and
just raked my mouse down as fast as I could.
God damn it.
Yeah, so all of us.
We're coming out of the goddamn walls.
All of us right now in this recording have seen photos.
Inflatable fox belly.
Okay.
Jimmy Franks.
Uh.
Yes?
Let's end this on a nice note, shall we?
Alright.
Oh, it's a poem.
Sure.
Sure.
It's a poem is what it is.
It's certainly poetic.
Nothing else
Yep
I've been saving this back for you by the way
Just so you know
Been saving this the whole time
A beloved treasury of
Plushy yiff porn
Highlights for Jimmy Franks
Alright
Was almost caught today I had no idea my sister was home today It's for Jimmy Franks. All right.
Was almost caught today.
I had no idea my sister was home today.
She is mostly works today.
She is mostly works today.
I made myself up as a schoolgirl.
Right.
I put my strap-on dildos on both my Pokemon plushie,
Pikachu and Charmander.
Good choices.
I was on top of Pikachu, letting him pound my ass while I was giving Charmander the best BJ he has ever had when...
My sister knocked on my door. Oh.
My sister knocked on my door.
Dun-dun-dun.
My door wasn't locked, and all she had to do was open the door to see me being, for the lack of better words, a Pokemon breeder.
Oh, nice!
Yeah.
As soon as I heard the knock, my ass tight her up, making it hard to pull the dildo from my ass.
Also, gagging on the one in my mouth.
Gaging on the one in my mouth.
Also gaging, determining the circumference of this dildo
in my mouth.
When my sister knocked on the door.
My forehead is a meter readout.
Do you want it in metric or English?
Then I heard her speck out.
Hey, you seen my phone charger?
I just yelled out, no.
How did that sound with the rubber cock in your mouth?
I just yelled out, oh.
Then I heard her walk off.
I was going to stop yiffing right there. But I still had Pikachu's penis in me.
Fair enough.
And he wanted to keep going.
Internet poet laureate.
Snicker, demanding little fellow he is.
I'm not going to believe this story.
And that's the end of my story.
No, you have to reply to me.
No, you have to reply to Boots.
What did you say again, Boots?
Snicker, demanding little fellow he is.
Oh, he's not a little fellow.
Nine-inch penis.
His it like three times as big as mine.
If anyone was a little fellow, it would be me.
LOL.
So you have a three-inch penis?
That's what you're saying.
If you want to do the math, yes.
I'm not proud of it.
Have you ever written any poems about your thumb?
My thumb?
It's a reference to an earlier episode.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I backlogged on that.
His thumb is gigantic.
Close call there.
Be sure to check around and make sure no one is there.
Wink!
Yeah, I know. But the weird thing was, I was wandering around the house.
I was wandering around the house.
Dressed as a schoolgirl before I started and used the bathroom to fix my hair more girly.
Would have been around 15 minutes.
She must have been in her room.
Also, the yiffing after the knock was some of the best yiffing I have had.
Must have been the extra thrill of the chance of being caught.
So he pretty much wanted to get caught.
Maybe.
I was parading around the house dressed as a schoolgirl.
Come on, fellas.
We've all had the my sister almost
caught me having sex with stuffed animal
orgasms.
I must have had
an odd upbringing because that's never
happened to me. Oh, well.
Aren't you special?
Last post,
Jimmy Franks.
I think I could get used
to the feeling of getting caught.
Might try if in
sub-public places, i.e.
front yard while hiding.
Yeah, this guy totally wants to get caught.
Yeah, just never cut your grass and then hide that.
Yeah, well, yeah.
It's a dig a ditch.
Put on your World War I
Dooba uniform.
Well, you know, put on your World War I dobo uniform that would be a foxhole does sound inviting
that really would be
something you'd double take at
you would be disgusted eventually
but you would start out with
oh that's right
oh that's right
the whole zoophilia thing at the end Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right.
Okay, okay, okay.
The whole Zephilia thing at the end.
Yeah, that's terrible, but... Okay, yeah, we can't not have this one on record.
Okay.
I'll take it.
I'm Fuzzy Slippers.
My avatar is a sheep that looks super sad.
Aww.
That's what sheep tails look like.
Yeah, exactly.
My friend wants to yiff my plushies.
Should I let him?
I have a friend, ex-boyfriend, but we're still friends,
who is a furry zoophile and, to some extent, a plushophile.
This might not be the best place to ask this question.
Yes.
Fuzzy slippers on plushie love forms.
People who like to fuck plushies.
Should this person fuck a plushie?
I don't understand why he's an ex-boyfriend.
Like, how did you let this winner go?
Okay, he wanted to know if I'd let him yiff my plushies.
Well, technically, he wants to
spooge on them, which in my opinion
is worse, since I'm worried it might be hard to
clean. Do you think I should?
I don't mind spreading the love,
but it also feels weird sharing
something so personal with someone I'm
not in a sexual relationship with anymore,
since I'm already in a relationship
with someone else.
Also, I consider my plushies personal to me,
and I'd decay if I'd feel comfortable with him jizzing on just any of them.
He wants to do it to my horse Ambrosia, for example.
Oh.
I want to do it to your horse.
Yeah, he wants to do it to my horse Ambrosia, for example,
which he did technically buy for me. How that happened is
complicated. He exchanged
money for it? No!
No, clearly more complicated
than that. Oh, okay.
But I consider her a
non-sexual plushie, and it somehow
seems wrong to do it.
It somehow seems
wrong to do it. That somehow seems wrong to do it.
That's the first semblance of a scruple we've seen
in this forum.
I, uh,
in the same way
as where Hardons
collide is in Ball Pit, I really
would like to just change this forum
to say, plushy left forums
and then in big text, it somehow seems
wrong to do it.
On the other hand,
I am normally so laid back
and open-minded about this stuff that I'm not
surprised he thinks it's okay to ask
me about it. And besides,
he's my friend. Am I being
just unnecessarily protective?
Should I get my boyfriend, who is
very protective and not as understanding
about sexual kinks?
Jesus Christ!
Yeah, wow.
He's got...
Just imagine...
I don't know if this
boyfriend is aware of
this whole other world that Fuzzy Slippers is involved in.
No, he's aware of part of it.
He is definitely aware of part of it.
But to broach the subject like this would just be...
I like to imagine this as if they've gone on one date, and she's like, I think this is working out.
It's like, by the way, I hope you don't mind.
If you come over this afternoon, my ex might be jizzing on my Care Bears.
You're not that good at blowjobs.
Goodbye.
Or even better, she just thinks of him as a boyfriend.
They just went out once.
And the next thing is
she's asking him if it's okay for ex-boyfriend
to come over.
I was like, oh, apparently you hung up 10 minutes ago.
He's not as understanding
about sexual kicks.
Okay, Cotton Mather.
Okay, should I get his permission
before I let this guy do something sexual
in my house? That's the problem.
How would you guys feel in this kind of situation
with your own plushies?
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
No, it isn't, you lazy bitch!
Wrong.
And really, I think Bunny Boy
really gives the most thoughtful,
weighted, contemplative answer. Stog, please. Bunny Boy really gives the most thoughtful, weighted, contemplative answer.
Stog, please.
Bunny Boy?
Hello, everybody.
My name's Bunny Boy again.
Yeah, thanks for the advice, Bunny Boy.
I'm Bunny Boy again.
Provided when you get to it when wet, spooge is easy to remove.
A wet cloth will remove most of it from the toy.
A good wipe down when the area is dry. You you'll need to comb the fur to smooth it out.
No, I don't think the question was about the logistics of it.
The answer is so obviously yes that they have just skipped past it and gone back to giving him tips as to how to clean up after he's done.
Obviously yeah, this. Obviously, yeah.
This is happening, lady.
I stress you need to clean while it's wet.
If you let it dry,
it takes a lot longer to clean it off the plush
while some liquid will soak into the plush.
There may be a little odor when dry,
but it should not be offensive.
It is offensive.
I do not normally do this to my plush,
but accidents do happen,
and you then need to clean up.
It wouldn't be an accident.
It would be totally on purpose that this happened.
He said specifically he wants to jizz on this.
Oh, my God.
Just take a moment to think about that
in the years that we've done this podcast,
we've gotten successful-ish.
I mean, like, you know, like enough people, like, listen to us, which means that there's a statistical probability that someone was listening to this episode, fell asleep, and in their dream state, they heard Stog saying all that shit.
What I'm saying is we've changed someone's life
well if that's the case
then please join the forums person
and make a post detailing
what you saw in your dream
please do
can we do the reader intros
now I need to go fuck this Brett Favre
I won out of a claw machine
stuffed Viking stuffed stuffed viking
do you actually have a brett farve doll i'm just trying to think of like the stupid shit you find
in a claw machine like stuffed whatever yeah oh yeah like if i if i if i could find a brett farve
doll uh i would buy it and then i would somehow give him a cell phone and a fake dick.
I'm just thinking...
You'd be like, who is...
Well, somebody would ask, oh, who is that?
Then they'd see the cell phone.
Oh, it's Brett Favre.
That would tip you off before the Packard jersey.
That would tip you off before the Packard jersey. And there we go, around about an hour of looking for some hot fluff, baby, to come on.
Ispon, what'd you learn this week?
I learned that there is an even more emotionally stunted alternative to fuck dolls.
Mm, yeah, that's, yeah, mm-hmm, yeah.
I mean, most people may think these are just fuck dolls
by a different method,
but I'm sure those of you
listening to the episode
noticed the more,
the even more man-child-y aspects
of this particular fish.
Mother.
My mother.
Yes.
And then Mother said.
And that one guy.
Yeah, it's a lot of general disgusting things that happen in the fuckdoll community
coupled with the general, like, disgusting things that happen in the furry community
kind of in a little bowl.
It's always dangerous.
It's always dangerous when you just don't own up to the thing that you're actually doing.
That is fucking dangerous.
Yeah.
I think, like, ladies, if you're having sex with a man for the first time and things are kind of, like, popping off and then he starts to go, like, oh, do you think you could touch my willy?
Fucking leave because he's going to slit your throat.
That dude is going to stab you.
Yeah, that's not a thing healthy people say.
And the same thing happening here where it's like, oh, you know, it's my friend.
It's my little rabbit, you know, companion or whatever.
And then just jam a knife through him.
Just sort of create an orifice where an
orifice should not be yeah um so that we can have romantic snuggle time and even with these people
um now they're sharing a lot because they have no shame but i think they don't realize just how
much they're sharing oh yeah uh in the way they present themselves and the things they talk about
so um so yeah if you're out there and you fuck stuffed animals and you tell people about it,
there's probably stuff you're saying that will embarrass even you.
So be careful.
Do you think this is just, I mean, here's a theory.
Do you think this is just like people that just never figured out that you could just masturbate?
I mean, because I've never...
There's got to be something that sets them on this path.
Yeah.
I mean, we talked about this before,
kind of like, what is that pivotal moment
where that turns you away from the norm
and into this bizarre community?
And it's not just stuffed animals or fuck dolls,
but just what
breaks you? Yeah cause I mean
I've you know like I've never
fucked a stuffed animal obviously but it doesn't
seem like I mean
it would be comfortable it doesn't
seem like that would be a good
situation for you
yeah there's something we're missing
and I'm not eager to
find out what it is. Yeah I'm not necessarily willing to learn.
Big thanks today to Jam Engulfer, who submitted not one, but two different plushie documents,
both very, very fun to read.
And we've got both of those documents up on the website.
You can take a look at them and see the stuff we didn't get to.
And if you're looking for a place that will break you emotionally, you should go to Ball Pit.
That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T.
We've got
registrations in the
somewhere around 120
something like that. Yeah, it's going good.
Fairly active community, and
it's fun to have, and
we want to have more of it. And
if you're listening to this, I hope that you are
excited about the Wrongest Words video game.
I am.
That I'm currently working on.
It's going to be cool.
I don't have anything even approaching a release date yet.
But you can actually, in Ball Pit,
there's a bunch of threads for kind of the evolution of the game.
So it'll be fun.
It'll be fun.
And until next time, bye-bye.
Bye. Bye.
God, the zoophilia shit in here is so horrifying.
It's incredible, but I don't think we could do it.
No, no.
It's another one like, hey, Lou, you want this?
We've actually offered Lou some of our chaff.
Like, hey, I got like four or five things that are too terrible for us to read.
Do you want them?
It's like, oh, is this a sounding forum?
Okay.
And now we're going to read some sounding form.
I like to put glass rods up my dick.
Oh my god, that's really good!
The glass rods feel amazing, and it makes my orgasms very powerful.