The F Plus - 118: My Little Podcast: Fandom Is Tragic
Episode Date: December 8, 2013My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic premiered in 2010, almost exactly a year after The F Plus' first episode. But despite this, we've intentionally avoided the topic of Bronies throughout the pod...cast simply because it seemed too simple and straightforward to spend an hour going "I find cartoon horses sexy". Of course, we should have realized that is the entry point and it gets more insane from there. This week, nuzzling!
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Also, Boots has accidentally coined a new term,
Broner, which is a boner that a brony gets
when he looks at rarity in Sweden Elite
passionately kissing Princess Celestia Hooves.
Now a rainbow's tale isn't quite as nice
As the story we knew of sugar and spice
But a rainbow is easy once you get to know it
With the help of the magic of a Pegasus device 120-something episodes into this whole thing, we need to really make sure that we're exploring the content
that the internet has to offer us.
So you're familiar with My Little Pony, right?
I have been on the internet longer than 15 minutes, so yes.
Sure, okay.
And you know about bronies?
Yep, I've heard of them.
Okay, and you know that bronies largely,
like seemingly want to have sex with cartoon horses?
Uh, yep, that's old hat, you know, I've heard about all that stuff, you know, not real impressed anymore.
Sorry, yeah, I know, you're jaded.
Do you know about magic spells to create My Little Ponies to watch My Little Pony with you. Hmm. You know, I gotta
say, that actually sounds a little bit stranger
than...
Well, let's just say I'm not as familiar with that.
Sure, sure.
Do you know about
tulpas? Do you know what tulpas are?
They're those flowers that grow in Holland, right?
Yeah, I think that's right.
Yeah, so this is
My Little Pony pony there's talk
of tulpas i understand about 14 of what's going to happen it would make more sense of
vortex but here is but she isn't so here we go readers assemble
in the room tonight we have Boots Reingear.
James Infrared is a dark and quiet earth pony.
He wears a red fedora for good luck.
Jimmy Franks?
Sometimes I just like to think about fucking cartoon horses.
It's fun.
My cutie mark is an AK-47.
Bump girl.
I am my own Tulpa.
And Lemon.
Okay, I must admit this.
There was some manly tears shed when I read this story.
It is one of the most beautifully written fanfics ever read. That said, not enough sex.
Could be better.
She sucks.
Hey, how you doing, guys?
Doing good.
Yeah.
Great.
Stuff.
Yeah.
How do you feel about irritating internet trends?
Irritated.
Unfortunately familiar?
This episode is all about My Little Pony's fandom.
Oh, I've heard of that show.
Yeah.
I love Lemon's Little Pony.
It's got quite a following.
Okay, so we're doing a Bronies episode because, you know, we have to.
And let's start out with Tulpas.
Is that the name of a pony?
What are tulpas?
What's the spelling?
We'll probably figure it out. Isfahan? Yes.
You are Bjornfot?
Oh. Bjornfot.
Hello, my name is Bjornfot,
and I am a
pink pony with my face smashed in.
Yeah.
Questions and concerns about making a male pony with my face smashed in. Questions and concerns
about making a male pony Tulpa.
I learned
about Tulpe about two weeks
ago when I was linked to a
thread on slash MLP
slash. I usually try to stay
away from 4chan.
That's in parentheses.
I didn't think much of it first and dismissed
it as silly, but curiosity got the better
of me, and I was soon reading
guides on tulpa.info.
Okay, so you dismissed it as silly,
now no longer do that.
I'm sure the more that we learn about tulpa,
the more that we'll realize... As the title says,
my tulpa is a male pony.
I almost wrote
I'm going to create a,
but I've kind of already started
and I like to view him as both
existing and
sentient if even if
that's not true semicolon
I believe that he is here
this wasn't really
my plan from the start
does anybody have a clue what we're talking about
tulpas
we're talking about tulpas obviously
should we put down some guesses're talking about tulpas, obviously. Should we
put down some guesses as to what tulpas
are? Okay, what do you
want to guess? I'm going to guess it's something
you can fuck.
That's a safe guess.
Like a pastry?
Alright, alright.
Isn't that that flower that grows in Holland?
Yeah.
Maybe not.
All right, well, keep reading.
Maybe we'll figure this out.
I had a hard time imagining anything else than a brown earth pony with a blonde mane because when I first read Irish and FAQ's Tulpa Forcing guides,
Tulpa Forcing is all in word, apparently.
Okay.
I imagined myself forcing a tulpa.
What the fuck?
Forcing a tulpa is painful, let me tell you.
What the fuck is this?
Who submitted this document?
This is bullshit.
We're like two paragraphs in.
I don't understand anything that's happening.
Just keep going.
How is that different from any other show we've done?
Because I usually understand what's happening.
I just don't like it.
And identify with it.
So you're not sure whether or not you should be not liking this already.
Exactly.
Like, I feel like I should probably be angry at it, but I don't understand it.
I have a feeling once we get into this a little bit deeper, the least of your concerns is going to be reader comprehension.
Yeah.
Anyway. All right. Well, keep going, but this
better make sense at some point soon.
I think I'll just continue doing what I'm doing,
trying to believe really hard, be patient,
and see where that gets me.
Unless you guys have a better idea.
No, I have no
idea. Okay.
I don't really know a damn about all this
stuff, even though I've tried really hard to learn.
Maybe I just need some experience?
Boots, what the fuck is happening?
I don't know.
No, I...
What the fuck is this?
All right, look.
We got, like, bullshit.
We got bullshit, like, cartoony things.
The word tulpa's being...
I see the words anus, balls, sheaths, and penises,
but I'm in some sort of fucking hellish cartoon infinity I don't understand.
PORTEX, WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?
Huh?
Hi.
PORTEX!
Yeah, what?
I'm so glad that confusing cartoon idiocy
can summon you into being.
What is this nonsense?
What do you guys...
Oh.
Were you guys trying to read
someone trying to make
a My Little Pony OC
Earth Pony Tulpa
without me?
Yes.
Yeah.
What were those words?
What was that?
Say them again.
Tulpa is a concept that
supposedly had originated
as a form of Buddhist meditation.
However, white people
on the internet have decided
that Tulpa means,
oh, I can make my anime
best friends for real, for realsies.
I can talk to them in real life.
So naturally, bronies have taken a hold of this
and figured, oh, if I can
will my
cartoon best friend into reality,
they become sentient, and they become just
as real as you or I, and then
I get to talk to them, and
yeah. Well, that was a bunch
of nonsense. So wait,
I could do that?
Boots is now taking notes.
Boots!
That's fucking awesome. Boots,
give me a quick pony ritual.
A quick pony ritual?
I need a quick pony ritual.
Mine are all pretty long, but...
No, no, no, quick one. Quick pony ritual.
Okay, well, just...
This is from friendshipispagan.tumblr.com.
Oh.
Yeah, it is.
Wait, that's not Buddhism.
I'm confused.
No, that's not a...
Well, pagan just means non-Christian, right?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
Because this part isn't about tulpas or Buddhism.
These are just pagans that have decided to instead of
jokingly worship ponies, they decided
no, we're just going to do it for real.
Yes!
That's the pagans or the buddhists?
These are the pagans doing it.
And why does my brain say that there
is such a phrase now as buddhist brony?
I don't know.
I don't know where to file this information
Boots
I need a quick pony ritual
I've got a quick pony ritual
Great, that's terrific
I finished working on a ritual for the
Friendship is Pagan tradition
It's a refinement of my
earlier assumption of pony forms
ritual intended for daily use
That's like chloroform
only you wake up as a marshmallow pastel colored horse that people fuck of pony forms ritual intended for daily use. That's like chloroform.
Only you wake up as a marshmallow pastel-colored horse that people fuck.
Yeah.
Made out of marshmallows?
Oh!
Couldn't you just kill me?
No, but some things are worse than death.
The central concept is to bring the elements
into one's daily life,
elevating a daily activity,
and over time, integrating the element and associated symbols deeper into one's daily life, elevating a daily activity, and over time, integrating
the element and associated symbols
deeper into one's unconscious.
Not subconscious, but unconscious.
Yes, that's what I'd like to be right now.
So you lose a bar fight, and then
you have the elements incorporated.
Well, because the journey of self-discovery
cannot begin until you watch enough cartoons.
Mm-hmm.
Cartoon Buddhism.
Okay.
No, because of Pegasus!
My meditation word is
Dexter's Laboratory.
The ritual is structurally
based on various spells for the use
of a servitor from
chaos magic and the use of many
of the same concepts.
Well, of course.
However, this spell is theurgic in nature
and opposed to sympathetic.
Oh, you're several kinds of nerds at once.
Boy, am I.
What's step one to this quick pony ritual?
Step one involves a physical movement.
I know that's pretty hard, but...
Some kind of sign with a hand
similar to a mudra or god form pose.
Be sure to smile beforehand.
These are strange gods full of awe we're dealing with.
They're ponies.
Your pony audience likes what any audience wants.
Teeth and tits.
Yeah.
Also, you're not dealing with them because the cartoon characters
that someone made up.
That's ridiculous.
Do not.
That's a hate crime against religion.
I recommend something either associated with the bearer's cutie mark
or something more abstract based on what you feel represents the elements.
It's important to have a realized concept of how the bearers represent their
elements. I wrote in earlier
posts on my own interpretation
as an example.
I can barely stand this one.
In earlier posts.
We've got three more steps to go.
Step number two.
Next is to speak the name of the pony.
Now stop right there.
Oh good.
Did you want me to speak the name of the pony. Now stop right there! Did you want me to speak the name of the pony or not?
Next.
Speak the name of the pony and stop, maybe?
This is chaos magic based, remember?
The name of the situation is intended only for you,
and should be something to help bypass the conscious mind and push the symbolism deeper.
What the fuck?
What is the symbolism of Milo Pony?
In true
chaos magic style, come up with
a personal name for the bearer.
What is a bearer?
The bearer is the pony, so my personal
name for it is
cartoon character created to sell toys.
I don't know who
the audience for this is, but apparently
this person is just assuming you've read
the lexicon of fucking
pagan terms, the same lexicon that he
has, or... I don't know.
I mean, you know, if you end up at My Little
Pony Friendship is Pagan, there's probably some
assumed prerequisites.
Because the next part of the step isn't really offensive
or horrible or anything.
Okay, so take the name such as
a cartoon character
designed to sell toys,
and I like to transliterate
the name into Hebrew.
Remove the vowels,
then remove odd letters
until I get something
that's four letters long.
What?
So what did you end up with, Portex?
I don't know.
Is that a laugh or your answer?
Or a sneeze.
If you take most Hebrew words
and remove the vowels,
you're just going to end up with a series of F's and K's.
So my name is Fook Fook.
Okay, good.
Well, this is tying into the original thing
that is Fajano's reading
I'm feeling a curious sense of resolution at the moment
The resulting name
should bear only the most vague resemblance
to the original
You can use whatever method you like
Keep the name secret
This is something personal and tailored to you
So this is like
Base64 encoding your chant
Yeah You don't want the Nazis to get at it to you. So this is like Base64 encoding your chant. Yeah.
You don't want the Nazis to get at it.
If you tell
somebody else the name of your pony,
Tulpa, they will have power over you.
Or the pony.
I'm not following that part, I admit.
We need to hire some code breakers.
What? Yours is fuck-fuck too?
I guess we'll have to kill ourselves.
Yay.
It also serves as an individual link
between you and the bearer, contextualizing
the element as something within yourself
and outside yourself.
Not that I would know
since I never go outside anyway, I assume.
Yeah. Third step
is a visualization.
I like to visualize the cutie mark.
Ugh, my stomach turns every time you say that.
What, when I say cutie mark?
Ugh.
Why do you have a problem with me saying cutie mark?
It's designed for seven-year-old girls to be like,
it's the cutie mark.
And instead, we've got some sort of,
oh, fucking hell.
Hey, baby, I'm going to make your cutie mark feel good.
See, I told you I could make it grosser.
Yeah, he succeeded.
Yes, mission successful.
I like the cut of his jib.
Don't visualize
the pony herself. When you spell
things out too much, they lose some power.
You could also try
some more abstract symbolism.
I like the idea of
visualizing a struck tree
dropping apples as a symbol of
sometimes painful honesty,
striking delusion, and revealing knowledge.
That's a terrible...
Are you just talking about ponies?
That's a terrible visualization of that
concept, too.
Because one pony
kicks a tree and the apples fall out.
Ergo, this is very deep symbolism.
Okay.
Or the soul, or something.
It's a good thing Vortex is here, because that just
made sense.
Yeah, this would sound dumb if I wasn't here
to explain the whole thing.
We'd be lost.
It'd be confusing idiocy if you weren't here.
Use unconscious symbolism to affect the unconscious.
So, I symbolize the pony.
Oh my god, keep going.
Let's just summon a fucking pony and get out of here.
Hey!
Number four.
Last step.
The next step involves reintegration and closing.
You may want to move your hands into whatever symbol represents closing and
finality to you.
Visualize a bright light coming
from your eyes.
Can you imagine if this guy, like, wrote
instructions on, like, how to build an
Ikea bed?
Use whatever tool is appropriate
to your particular situation. Visualize the
finished bed. That's just as good as
finishing one. It would take him a long time to write the instructions
because one hand is constantly scratching under his chin.
Insert your spirit animal into slot B.
It's a good thing my spirit animal is a snake.
This is a supreme light of friendship and magic.
Feel the light coming from within and without.
In closing, open your eyes.
See your girlfriend telling you you have to move out.
Girlfriend?
Jimmy Franks, you are awfully nice.
Mother!
That was just a political statement there.
Oh, okay.
While closing your eyes.
While closing your eyes, open them.
Wake up, America!
Pony Paganism Buddhist Tulpas are real!
Usually there would be a step to come back down,
but the point of the ritual is to maintain a sacred stance during mundane life.
Wait, so you're always high?
I'm pretty sure your eyes are always
not closed, too, because I'm
pretty sure it doesn't ever say to close your eyes.
That sacred stance is
lounging in a beanbag chair with a party
tub of Cheeto balls next to you.
Oh, that
fucking spell was really confusing.
I didn't understand any of it.
Bumpcurl,
will you give me a better pony spell?
This is from spellsandmagic.com.
This is a much better pony spell.
It's our favorite website.
What do I need?
What do I need for the spell?
You need
two and a half things.
You need an empty bullet point.
That's a half thing.
A picture of the pony.
Okay, that makes sense.
And your hair.
Alright.
What does the spell do?
It makes ponies appear for ten minutes.
Alright, that's helpful, I guess.
There's some casting instructions.
I want a ten minute pony party.
My little pony spell spell.
It makes the pony show up for less time
than the show actually lasts.
Which is interesting.
It's a half hour show, right?
But it's there and it's real.
You still actually need the same things.
Make ponies appear from the start to one commercial break.
Okay, so how does the spell work?
How does the spell work?
Say this.
Alright.
Lock of hair, picture of pony,
join and make it real.
Lock of hair, picture of pony, join and make it real.
Join and make it real.
Place lock of hair
on picture
and wait three minutes
and boom, insta-pony
Wait a minute, it's not an insta-pony
You have to wait three minutes
That is a much better spell
Can I use a microwave to speed that up?
Like spellsofmagic.com
This spell is the microwave pony better spell than... Can I use a microwave to speed that up? Thanks, SpellsOfMagic.com.
This spell is the Microwave Pony.
You know what,
TrixieMLP, I like that spell
so much. I want to hear your other spell.
Oh, good. Yeah.
That's great. It's a beauty spell.
Yeah, so let's
look at... What's your other spell there,
Trixie MLP?
Albino Alicorn spell.
Alliterative.
What do I need for
Albino Alicorn spell?
Albino Alicorn spell.
Albino Alicorn spell.
Albino Alicorn spell.
Oh god, she likes saying that.
She's broken.
You will need the following items for this spell.
Okay.
White candles.
Cinnamon.
Okay.
Cinnamon.
Okay.
The results of the spell.
And I quote,
will turn into an Albino Alicorn. Hey, bait and switch. You said I'd turn into an albino alicorn.
Hey, bait and switch!
You said I'd turn into a albino alicorn.
Yeah.
Now suddenly you're going to start using the right article?
Am I?
No, a albino alicorn.
It's like J. Jonah Jameson.
Give me pictures of the spider pony!
I really wish I hadn't been born to pagan parents.
Instructions for albino alicorn spell spell.
Um, are...
Light candles and say,
Lend me the wings of flight,
Give me the horn to use magic,
And say,
Light up the world,
Burn the candles,
And cinnamon in the candles.
What?
Oh.
You actually made that more confusing.
Lend me the wings of flight,
give me the horn to use magic,
and say, again,
light up the world, and...
To be fair, it's difficult to type
with hooves, so, you know, you gotta...
I didn't think this would work.
I gotta tell the people!
Shit!
But how did they find out?
They had some white candles and some cinnamon
and just decided to see what would happen if they burned it?
Yeah, it's science, man.
I'm sure some magic will happen.
Magic is fucking easy.
Nobody's burned cinnamon before.
So how long am I going to be
an albino alicorn?
It doesn't say that.
Ten minutes, I hope.
I'm pretty sure it's forever.
Oh, crap.
Actually, your name is
Kevin
Sano. No, it's someone
writing to Kevin Sano. Oh, it's someone writing
to Kevin Sano. Alright.
Which it sounds like, maybe it's Kev
Insano? I don't know.
Yeah, it's a good portmanteau.
Anyway, so just if you want to read this letter that you shared with Kev Insano.
Hang on.
Kev Insano?
Some Like It Hot is a novel that I like, and I'm sure this will be very similar.
Regarding Twilight Sparkle.
Oh, right.
This is probably written to the CIA, I assume.
Dear Kevin Sano, this may be the strangest message you'll ever receive, but I do hope
you'll take the time to read it and consider what I have to say.
To put it simply, I would really appreciate it if the next time your birthday comes around,
you would request that your clop artist friends
who like to give you sexually-oriented pony artist gifts
draw some pony other than Twilight Sparkle for you.
Can I be reminded what the verb clop means
in the context of My Little Pony?
In the context of bronies, clopping is the cutesy term
they invented for masturbating.
Oh, yay! Thanks for asking, Boots!
Yeah, clop art is My Little Pony
art that you jerk it to, so
we good? We all good? Aren't you guys glad I'm here?
Yeah.
Because I'm not really that glad
to be on it. Do you want to go back to the void?
The reason that I ask this is that Twilight is my fiancée.
No, she's not.
We're planning on getting married next June or July, should everything go as planned financially speaking.
It costs a lot of money to fly.
It costs a lot of money to fly ponies in.
You have to buy cinnamon and you have to buy
white candles.
And yes, I have actually
found a wedding chapel that will let me marry
someone that most people would consider
a fictional character.
The holy house of I don't give a fuck
you got money.
Now, before you go thinking this guy is either
completely crazy or just screwing
with me, please hear me out on this.
I can convince you that this guy is completely crazy.
You see, I'm totally head over heels in love with Twilight Sparkle.
Well, that makes it all okay, then.
Yeah.
I have been for about 11 months now, and at this point, I'm in a committed relationship with my Twily.
Oh, no.
You already got pet names.
Now, by that, I mean I don't date anyone else.
I don't sleep with anyone else.
Really?
And I have zero interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone other than the mare I adore.
Yes, I believe too.
I promise to keep.
I won't be fucking all those supermodels that have been eyeballing me.
Don't you worry, Twily.
I love her with all my heart,
and I'm 100% committed to that love.
To express my love in a real, tangible
way, I have a beautiful, handmade,
custom Twilight Sparkle plushie
that I can hug,
kiss, cuddle up in bed
to go to sleep with at night.
Stop the list. No more. No more listing.
No more listing activities.
No, you have to read the last part of that sentence. You have to.
And
take out on the town to do all the fun
things together that normal couples do.
Oh, now I have some beautiful imagery
to wipe out all that other stuff.
Me and Twilight!
When a man child loves a cartoon
character! Based on another
reading, I have an idea of what I know
what makes that Twilight Sparkle
plushie custom.
Twilight Sparkle's mini golf scores
are just out of the ballpark.
I like to
take her out to eat at nice vegetarian restaurants.
We go shopping together. I take her out for
coffee. We do normal social activities together
like hanging out with friends, seeing movies, etc.
Does he buy a ticket for her?
I enjoy all the friends' looks.
Well, my friends are the other
ponies, so it's fine.
And I talk about her
as if she is Twilight because
to me, she very much is.
When I look at her, I see Twilight sparkle.
When I talk with her, I'm talking to
Twilight. When I hold her in my arms
and kiss her, there are no doubts in my mind that it's the mare I love,
whose lips are pressed against mine.
Okay, so I think you're a crazy person, but I'm still giving you more time to turn it around.
I'm sure that...
Maybe the knockout punch is still coming.
Every morning when I open my eyes and see her head on the pillow next to mine,
with her gorgeous violet eyes staring back at me,
I can't help but wonder how I ever got to be so lucky as to have a partner as smart,
funny, beautiful, and all-around wonderful as her.
I know how.
You went to Target and...
Toys R Us.
No.
I had a coupon.
This is not from Target.
She's a beautiful handmade custom Twilight Sparkle plushie.
I think the customization came later.
Every morning when I wake up to the sound of,
Edwin! Edwin, did you find a job yet?
All my friends and the people who know me well
say my love is a thing of beauty and quite admirable.
But from the outside perspective of someone who doesn't know me, you've got...
You're probably going, wow, that's pretty damn crazy, and wondering why I don't just go get a real girlfriend.
Fuck you, non-straw men.
The answer is I can't. Your move, asshole.
The truth is I...
Yes, that's the flesh man argument.
Yes, that's the flesh man argument.
The truth is I've had plenty of real relationships and sexual partners in the 27 years I've been around.
Sure.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yep.
A few short relationships, one that lasted 70 years, and a total of six different sexual partners.
Thanks.
I needed to know that.
Yeah.
That's something that you have to know about people that have actually had, like, lots of sex sex and a lot of deep relationships is they love to tell anonymous people about it all the time.
Yeah.
That's something people do.
Sure.
So my love for Twilight isn't out of a lack of real world intimacy or relationships.
I just fell in love with her and my heart didn't give me much of a choice in the matter.
But you know what?
What?
I'm totally happy with my love and my relationship.
It may seem weird to you,
but it fills me with joy every single day of my life, and I've
never been happier.
So what if it's weird? If it makes me
happy and it doesn't hurt anyone, then where's the problem?
I don't think there is one, and anyone who
knows me well will tell you the same.
That's true. You don't need to justify yourself.
That's why you're writing this super
long post. Well, also, he
started it trying to convince him
not to ask for
sex pony art,
and now he's just gone into this autobiographical
thing.
He doesn't really know how to
stick to a thesis statement here.
Is the point here that he's trying to protect the like
sexual integrity
of Twilight Sparkle?
Uh, yes.
And you can actually
say that in the next paragraph.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
Now you're probably
wondering why I'm
telling you all this
and how it concerns you.
Oh boy.
To you, I'm sure
Twilight Sparkle
is just a cartoon character
you think is really hot.
Oh yeah, yeah.
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
You wouldn't think
anything of having
your friends draw
sexually explicit art of her
as birthday gifts for you.
And hey,
I think she's really attractive too,
so I get where you're coming from there.
Oh, this is a nice glass house
you've got here.
In fact,
I often go on
e621.net
and rule34.pahil to see what new erotic art people have drawn of her.
Jesus.
So it's okay if you're looking at it, but it's not okay if somebody else is.
Well, she's his wife.
Pretty standard, actually.
So it's pretty much like cheating on him with...
Is that what he thinks?
Yeah.
Well, keep going.
You'll see exactly what he's talking about.
It just keeps the romance alive.
Ishvahana, I think I can answer your question.
Oh, okay.
To me, she's more than a cartoon character
who's sexually attractive.
She's my fiancé,
who I love with all my heart
and soon to be my wife.
So it's been bothering me lately
every time I go on to those sites
and see a dozen or so pieces of art people have drawn depicting my girl in various sexual situations with the same person over and over.
And that person happens to be you.
You should challenge them all to a duel.
I demand satisfaction, Kevin Sano.
I demand satisfaction, and then you bean them over the head with an anime body pillow.
An anime body pillow fight.
Just using their fake imaginary girlfriends
to beat each other.
And she's the same girlfriend,
so, like,
we can't really get off on that.
Don't get me wrong here, though.
This isn't a jealousy thing.
I'm very secure in my relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
I know without question that Twilight
is just as faithful to me as I am
to her. She's actually sitting on the
couch next to me reading while I type this.
I think that you'll find
that according to all of these other
people on the internet, she hasn't been faithful
at all. She seems
to get around.
What he's not divulging is that clearly
he has kidnapped some girl
and dressed her up like Twilight Sparkle
and she's just kind of tied up.
Thank you for making this creepier.
She's very real to me
and I know she's not sneaking out in the middle
of the night to go have kinky sex
with some famous artist. Because she's not real.
And I do respect
your talent as an artist, and as an artist's
creative freedom to draw whatever they want. That's cool.
But don't draw whatever you want.
What bothers me is
that in all these birthday images
you've been getting, Twilight, is
always depicted as if she were your sexual
plaything, drawn wearing a collar with
your name on it, to a speech bubble
saying something that would somehow suggest
she was your property.
Well, how was that his fault?
It's not your property.
She's property of Hasbro Incorporated.
Clearly the letter...
This is copyright infringement.
Well, you know what, poor tax...
This letter could be entitled,
I'm super easy to fuck with.
Well, you know what, poor tax,
they don't treat her right either.
They treat her like she's their property.
Yeah.
Like she's an IP.
I think if she wants some dom-sub relationship on the side in a polyamorous situation,
that he should respect her more and let her do that.
Is that canon? I don't know.
I'm pretty sure that's canon.
I think that was in issue 14.
Shut out of a canon.
And I know quite well that Twilight Sparkle is not your plaything nor your property.
She's my fiancé.
So that bugs me a bit.
What I find really loathsome, though, is your pension for degrading my partner
and both your art and the fan art you've been receiving.
I'll point it on that pension.
The government shouldn't subsidize that.
Swing and a miss on that word.
Twily is a sweet and fairly vanilla little mare who I treat with the
utmost love and respect, and she definitely
does not deserve to be portrayed
as some kind of sexual slave
who likes being dressed up in sleazy
attire, wearing a collar,
getting sawed-off, and having
her face ejaculated on.
So Twilight
Sparkle is vanilla.
Can you even have missionary sex with a horse?
I'm sure he's tried.
She's not into that kind of stuff, and the fact that there's someone out there in the world such as yourself
who would desire to treat Twilight this way and have his friends support and validate his desires
to demean and mistreat my partner by drawing pictures of him doing so really does bother me. And exist.
I think he needs to communicate with her more.
I think she's got some unfulfilled desires.
No, baby, I didn't go nowhere!
That's an A-plus impression.
Yes, 100%.
That's what Twilight sounds like, right?
Oh, did we get the real voice actor
for this episode?
Hey, how's it going? I'm Twilight Sparkles!
Lemon brought in Tara Strong
and then strangled her to death.
My name's Tara Strong!
Tara Strong!
So next year, when your birthday comes around, I strangled her to death. My name's Tara Strong. Oh.
So next year, when your birthday comes around,
keep in mind that Twilight Sparkle isn't just a lifeless cartoon character to objectified for your sexual gratification.
She's the partner of someone who loves her very much.
And by that time, their wife.
So, both myself and Twily would greatly appreciate it
if you'd pick someone else to request erotic art of for your birthday.
Based on the very large amount of different ponies you draw art of,
I imagine there has to be many other ponies you find sexually attractive.
Yeah, yeah, you should victimize the slutty ponies.
Yeah, really.
I assume you'll probably just dismiss this message as the ramblings of a crazy person and likely ignore it.
But if by some chance you do take what I've had to say to heart, well, we'd appreciate it.
So he's like, I don't like you, you know, this is my wife, my fiancee, she's going around, but oh, by the way, if you completely ignore me, there will be no consequences, so
you know, whatever.
I also like that basically every
paragraph he goes,
this super infuriates me. I don't
care, of course, but this makes me
I don't care. Yeah, he's having
mood swings like mid-sentence, which is interesting.
Well, she's
sitting right beside him. She's trying to
moderate his posting yeah she's his
better half calm it down a bit like oh i think that part's a little aggressive maybe you should
put in like she she's definitely his better half yeah so uh so hey you remember you remember uh tv
tropes yes i did fortunately good good no tv tropes, in addition to giving us sort of that thing, spun off its own site called Fetish Fuel.
Yay!
Which is people who are too, like, broken and creepy for TV Tropes.
Oh, good.
So that's fun.
And we're just going to read some selections from the My Little Pony Friendship is Magic section of Fetish Fuel.
Nice.
You know what I like about the internet?
What's that?
It's that people are so eager to tell you about their masturbation habits that they will dedicate a wiki to it.
This is my dick wiki.
People have to know.
People have to it. This is my dick wiki. People have to know. People have to know.
I want a sightseeing needed for the
Venezuela side, actually.
Alright.
Alright.
Boots, start us off here.
Rarity
in the episode, sweet and elite,
passionately
kisses
Princess Celestia's hooves.
And if it was not enough...
Sorry, if it was not kinky...
If it was kinky not enough...
My brain stopped on that sentence
for some reason.
If it was kinky not enough,
she repeats,
thank you, thank you, thank
you, while doing it.
Oh, so hot. Oh, man.
I'm sure that wasn't just a completely
innocuous scene. It was
passionately... You have to
read between the lines, poor Tex.
Pump girl.
The way Rarity psychologically dominates
the Diamond Dogs in a dog and pony show
does major things for this troper's dominatrix fetish.
It takes her about two minutes to go from being their prisoner
to having them serve at her beck and call with nothing more than her signature bratty charm.
That look on her face when they say,
We'll do anything, Miss Rarity.
And she just dreamily responds,
anything says it all.
Do you think that the writers...
About you.
Yeah.
Do you think that the writers
frequently, like,
they'll type, type, type, type, type,
pause,
shit.
Yeah, like...
How are freaks gonna interpret this?
Yeah, if I worked on this show,
I'm sure people would be like,
oh, man, you're so lucky.
That's probably, like, a really fun, cute show to work on.
I'd be like, no, everything I write, I know someone's jerking off to it.
My inbox is a nightmare factory.
Remember that time that pony looked at a thing?
This troper is a literal nightmare fetishist.
Evil elder gods with surprisingly sexy voices.
What's not to love?
So Cthulhu is in this?
No, I want to point out, I have seen the show.
I have no fucking clue what they're talking about.
I like that you're fetish.
So this guy writes a bunch of fetish stories about like,
and then she fell asleep and she was like in this house,
which was like the house that she grew up in,
but it was weird and different.
And then she had to like take her SATs and her,
and she wasn't studied for it.
And then her teeth fell out.
And she was falling.
And she fell.
Yeah.
All right, Jimmy Franks.
Okay.
Lots of things about ponies in general.
For one, their hooves.
Good God, those hooves.
And the sounds they make when they're walking on hard ground.
Hard.
Also, wings.
Wingbone or any one.
No.
And for many, unicorn horns.
Not to mention their flanks. The curve of those cutie marks, and their tails.
Horse tails are very sensitive.
So you pretty much covered the entire body of the pony.
Cutie marks equals ass tattoos equals hot.
That is not an equivalence
that I can agree with.
This needs to be peer-reviewed.
So the question is,
is an ass tattoo
different than a tramp stamp?
Yeah, I was wondering that.
Nozzling!
Nozzling!
Nozzling!
That idiot just goes to every fucking wiki and just starts posting that. Nozzling! Nuzzling! Nuzzling? That idiot just goes to every fucking wiki and just starts posting that.
Nuzzling!
Southeast Florida is a region known for its orange...
Nuzzling!
Nuzzling!
Nuzzling!
Citation nuzzling.
I wish the gimmick I picked for myself was a little more intricate.
At the end of the episode, mystery onto the Friendship Express.
Right before the cake is even tasted by Princess Celestia,
Pinkie Pie dive bombs into the cake mouth first and consumes the whole thing in one bite,
plumping her up in no time at all.
A very fanboyish moment for
this expansion fetishist troper.
You're also fat
and immobile, that's great!
Yay! It just
pisses me off, because it's just like this
and the flat fetish, the steamroller
thing, it's just like, it's gotten to the point where
you can't cartoonishly exaggerate anything.
It's just like, oh, I can't
write this fat sheep falling off a cliff
because the guy who jerks off to fat sheep falling off a cliff
is going to fucking jerk off to it.
And then talk about how he jerks off to it.
Yeah, and then tell me all about it.
They wrote this for me.
They must also be fat sheep falling off cliff fetishes.
Yeah, was Tolkien a mud fetishist?
He wrote about mud once.
Fuck off.
For further fat fetishist he wrote about mud once. Fuck off. For further
fat fetish fuel, there's
also the photo of Celestia
messily eating a hunk of cake in the
episode Ponyville Confidential.
So they can't even eat anything without someone beating off to it.
Yeah, well, it falls in line
with my Cookie Monster fetish.
Well, Cookie Monster isn't eating those cookies.
People can eat cake completely neatly.
Well, for my
jamming cookies against the back of a puppet
fetish.
And the time she
swallows an entire cake whole.
This trooper just about came
everywhere.
Whoa. Just about.
Just about.
They missed a spot in the corner.
How come you never invite me to your birthday party?
Speaking of fat fetishes, does anybody else think Applejack may be a chubby chaser?
She offers tons of apple-based foods and desserts to Twilight in both the first and third episodes.
She casually stuffs a cupcake
in Twilight's mouth during the Catterlot
Royal Wedding. Oh, yay.
Feederism and shipping all in one.
Fuck!
I really hope Applejack's a chubby chaser
because then maybe I'll have a chance.
Applejack could do
way better than this guy, I think.
What makes you think this is a guy?
They're all guys.
Oh, wait, sorry.
Season 3's episode, Magic Duel,
has a plot load of this
to the point where you have to wonder
if the writers had fetish fuel in mind
when they wrote the script.
I'm going to go with no, they didn't.
Seriously, we've got a tyrannical Trixie
having every pony work for her
and even whipping her servants.
Age progression slash regression spells,
tickle torture, and even gender swapping spells.
Sweet Celestia!
Uh, nope.
I think you attach those values
to that yourself.
You have to wonder, though, don't you?
No, I don't have to wonder at all.
Yeah, you have to!
I wasn't wondering before, I'm not wondering now.
I'm wondering...
I'm wondering about age progression regression spells
being a fetish fuel.
This is new to me!
Oh, it's...
Yay!
That's been around forever.
And this age regression progression thing,
this gender swapping thing,
didn't even actually happen in the episode,
so he's jerking off to somewhat tricking someone
into thinking that they switched someone's gender.
It's like, hey, you gotta meet him halfway...
Good for me!
I'm sure these people are willing to meet the writers halfway
on a lot of things.
Maybe he stops the episode halfway through and just said, I'm done.
He jerked off so much he passed out.
He came...
He just about came everywhere.
Alright, in the next piece,
Portax, you are
Firefly
Oh, I'm Lauren Faust
I'm the creator of the show
Isfahan, you are
Yawgmoth Discipline
Disciple
Yawgmoth Disciple
Jimmy Franks, you're
Scootahoo
And
Boots, you are Cosmeon.
Oh, good.
So, I guess just a very brief setup is that for a website interview,
Lauren Faust jokingly drew herself as an alicorn that writes scripts and scrolls and that sort of thing in the style of the show.
She's an alicorn in My Little Pony. Oh, she used that of thing in the style of the show.
Oh, she used that spell.
Yeah, she used the spell.
An alicorn is a half-pegasus,
half-unicorn thing.
There's a link to the picture in the script. Which half?
Well, it's got the head of a pegasus
and the body of a unicorn.
It's just a horse.
Now that's funny!
But on DeviantArt
you can leave comments on their
profiles and so this Cosmian guy decided
to talk to the creator of the show directly.
Oh, that's, you know,
it's always good to have
proper interaction with your fans.
Yeah.
It's always good to hear from them, right?
That's nice.
And I'm first! I get to's nice. Yeah, and I'm first.
I get to go first.
Every my way, I'm going first question.
All right, go ahead.
Miss Faust, I would say everyone is making sexy fan art of your OC pony right now.
I also hope your project goes well.
People are drawing your OC pony in sexy poses.
Also, I hope your project's going good.
I want to come in your eye holes.
How's the weather?
I can't wait to see your next project so I can draw fuck pics of it.
I'm kind of surprised that this woman has a Twitter.
You'd think she would sign up for an account, get tweeted a bunch, and then be like, fuck this.
The link goes to her DeviantArt.
Yeah, but she has a Twitter.
Oh, okay.
She has a DA.
Oh, God.
So, yes, I'm Warren Faust.
Gotta admit, that kind of gives me the creeps.
I'd rather not know about it.
And I'm going to guess cue, like, four dozen other people telling her more about it.
But anyway.
Yes, but I'd rather you know about it, so I win.
My name is Yawgmoth Disciple.
Out of sheer curiosity.
Yawgmoth needs some followers.
Yawgmoth Disciple.
Out of sheer curiosity, do you think the community
actually owes you an apology
so many of them seem to think
you're going to smite everyone or something
I mean
wait do you think that she has like the powers
of Odin yeah she's she's a
god he probably
does she's a girl on the internet
who draws cartoons she's
basically all-powerful.
I mean, even when it is stuff you'd rather not know about,
is it really so bad that people are doing it?
Yes.
Yeah.
It is more homage than anything, even if it is quote-unquote creepy.
more a homage than anything,
even if it is quote-unquote creepy.
Personally, I would be proud that people from all walks of life
and interests liked me and something
that I created so much.
You know, I super, super,
super, super like Deadwood.
I think it's a fucking terrific show, and I have never
stuck a thumb in my ass
thinking about Tom Nuttall.
Just haven't.
Then can you really call yourself a true
fan?
You're fucking casual.
You know that, right?
Dead wood dummy.
Asshole.
I'm Scooter Who.
Scooter Who.
Hey, Lauren,
think of it as a twisted compliment.
You're now a popular enough individual to fall under Rule 34.
Most people can't claim that.
Jesus Christ.
I'm feeling jealous.
Shouldn't be.
Your perspective is terrible.
You made a thing that we can ruin.
Congratulations.
That said, I can fully understand being creeped out.
At least it's you as a pony and not the real you.
Fuck off!
Yeah, that makes it all better.
I mean, we got those too, but we don't put them on the internet.
I fucking hate that shit whenever people do that.
They say, oh, you just posted a picture of yourself or you drew a thing and you put it on the internet.
And then we get to tell you about how we masturbate to it, no matter what your motivation was.
And if you don't like it, then clearly you're the one who's fucked up, not me.
Yeah, you're a big stick in the mud.
No more text, of course, not talking from a point of experience.
I can tell that this is a completely foreign concept to you.
I also like how the guy's saying, like,
well, no, listen, it's not that bad.
We're jerking off to animals, not like a person.
That might be
the icing on the cake.
Alright, what's up,
Cosmeon?
This was on Cosmeon's
personal DeviantArt blog, so this
is on his own journal,
essentially. Okay. You win!
In case you didn't
know what to cause.
Okay, a couple hours
later, I've been
blocked, and I then can't
make any comments.
Why?
You guys happy now?
Happy to see me becoming miserable
and burning at the stake?
Becoming?
Yeah.
Cosmeon apparently put on a second
bit of
headgear for his orthodontic work.
That's his angry retainer.
Retainer, retainer.
Are you happy that you protected someone from me?
Happy that I
deserve this?
Yes.
You do deserve this.
Fuck you.
Because you guys are such complete jerks.
And this is proof why I got blocked.
You happy now?
Now I can't commit suicide.
Yay!
Good.
Fucking die.
No, no, I can.
Now I can commit suicide.
Oh, yeah.
I got confused there.
Suicide.
And go fucking hell. I thought you did say can. I couldn't hell. Thanks to this.
I just want to cry so bad.
But I can't.
I'm too mad when all this shit comes
through me. All because
of
one
stupid
comment.
That's it. That's it.
That's fucking it.
Rejoice
if you want on my life.
Hooray!
If I had one of those
goes to a dark
corner and dies.
Good.
Oh, good, you're dead.
Yay, well, Cosmeon's dead, so I guess we can just move on.
Actually, all this is just ever being blocked.
Wait, what the fuck is that?
She's not going to forgive me ever.
Oh, goddammit.
Especially on what happened today.
I feel so sad right now.
And I want to cry all over for real.
And I did. Because all over for real. And I did.
Because it was very
depressing.
It's all my fault, yes.
Getting blocked.
It's like I got hit by
lightning. Meant to punish
me. And it hurts
so bad.
You know how depressing it is?
Oh, my heart fucking bleeds for you.
And I'm
not gonna do a second account
just to forgive her.
For what? Wait, what?
Forgive her for what?
For having a human reaction?
I'd also like to point out
that
he said it hit him like a bolt of lightning,
and that ties in nicely with Yawgmoth Disciples saying,
so many people seem to think you're going to smite them or something.
Yeah, maybe she does have powers.
Yeah, she gets smoted.
I want to use this account to say sorry for her, for real, but I can't.
So obviously the solution here
is to unblock me?
So that I can say sorry?
Oh, by the way, here's more sex pics.
I really creeped out this girl.
Isn't anyone gonna, like,
cry for me? I mean, what about my feelings?
Yeah, I got blocked.
Yeah, you think you've had
a rough day.
Who's gonna apologize for the creepy?
Yeah.
My right to victimize others cannot be infringed.
All right, so this piece is from Fimfiction.net.
The header image is, well, it's random,
but I did get two ponies that are just hugging.
They're just sort of enjoying the peace and solitude
that the internet affords, which is very nice.
So this is a story called My Little Dashie. It was written by
Rob Cake Ran 53rd.
A long line.
And it was edited
by Sir Peppermint Jam.
Oh, I loved
his last album.
There's a real pedigree
on this.
It's royalty, man. You don't know.
It's Sir Peppermint Jam's
disgusting deviant art account.
Do you see who's on the cover of Source?
Oh, man.
All right.
So this is a very fucking long story.
So, Jimmy Franks,
just take an excerpt, please.
All right.
She considers me her daddy.
And quite frankly, I consider her my daughter.
Even though we are of a totally different species, I still love her with all my heart.
Sure.
Okay, fine.
That's fine.
And it has taken her to speak those words to me to finally realize that.
I think I've finally done it.
I've broken my hard shell that had formed when my parents died.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
I've let a sweet little filly into my life.
No, an actual filly, guys.
A sweet little, oh, right.
An actual horse.
Real fake cartoon horse.
I gave her a home to live in, food to
eat, and now a daddy to love.
She's given me hope,
love, compassion,
and now something I thought I'd never utter.
A daughter.
Okay, so you have a love for a fake creature,
but it's paternal, so I hope that doesn't get blurry,
and I'm sure it won't, so good.
Yeah.
There is a point in every parent's life
when they have to let their child go,
whether it be for the better or for the worst.
It must happen at some point.
That phrase works.
Better or the worse. Never in the years we've lived there had anyone or for the worst. It must happen at some point. Better or the worse.
Never in the years
we've lived there had anyone knocked at the door.
No, we hadn't even made arrangements
if someone did show up. I simply told her
to go to her room while I took care of it.
Once I heard the door shut,
calmly and collectively, I asked
who it was knocking,
expecting some stranger, possibly lost
on his or her travels.
A female voice spoke in such an elegant
yet attention-grabbing tone.
I felt myself listening to her with the uttermost
attention. Oh, that attention-grabbing
tone. The uttermost attention.
As though to illustrate
the attention-grabbingness of her tone, I listened
to her with attention. Uttermost is
more utmost. Yes, it's the uttermost.
Uttermostest. The most utmost. Uttermostest is more utmost. Yes, it's the uttermost. Uttermostest.
The most utmost.
She asked if she may come in.
A question I'd normally refuse within a heartbeat.
And yet, something about her voice
was reminiscent. I couldn't help but
walk over and open the door.
When I first saw the figure standing on my porch,
I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or hallucinating.
Standing there was the radiant and majestic Princess Celestia.
I'm quite surprised.
Celestia began.
I had expected a little more resistant to us entering.
Wait, are you a mongrel?
I don't know. Well, it seems like Celestia is more on our side here,
because she's just like,
aren't you kind of fucking freaked out that there's cartoon horses talking to you?
Why, I know who you all are.
Celestia nodded.
Ah, so you do know, then.
Well, he just told you.
That you are fictional characters from a children's
TV show, then yes.
Children's TV show?
Yeah, right.
If I point it out, then you're not
allowed to tell me how weird it is.
Otherwise, why you are
all here, I have no clue.
The last part I lied, hoping to keep
my mind at ease. I knew the reason,
but I wanted to ignore it.
Oh, I think you do know.
My heart fell into the pits of my stomach.
I did know.
Many pits.
I did know, and she was straight to the point about it.
During all these years, I'd anticipated this moment,
but as time drug on, that thought slowly dispelled
until it was nothing more than just a minor nip in my mind.
A nip in your mind? It a minor nip in my mind.
A nip in your mind? It's a nip in my mind.
It's a minor nip.
A minor nip in my mind.
That's what always happens, you know, when everything is finally perfect and you don't have to worry anymore.
I'd given up holding back my tears and at this point was openly crying.
Jesus Christ.
The ponies could tell I was hurting, and
Dashie didn't look to be faring too well either.
Oh good, a pack mule for all
my baggage!
So I'm figuring it wasn't
good to prolong the inevitable.
I walked over to the chair Dashie sat in.
Because horses sit in chairs.
Do horses sit in chairs in the
human world or whatever the fuck is happening in the story?
Mm-hmm.
Melt down to meet her eye level as I spoke.
Dashie, my little Dashie, I love you with all my heart.
You have done wonders to open me up from the man I once was.
You...
I had to pause a moment to settle down.
You have brought me so much joy in my life that I can't possibly ever thank you for.
I hope this has a happy ending.
Where everyone gets toe mane poisoning and dies.
At this point, Dashie too had begun to cry.
That only made it worse for me.
Do I have to go to daddy?
Dot com.
Your rainbow dash into Twilight sounds remarkably similar.
Thanks.
No problem.
It remained quiet for a few more minutes as we held each other tight.
She didn't fight back or want to resist what was happening.
She told me that she knew as well what must be done.
I love you, Daddy.
And I love you too,
my little daddy.
Welcome.
That's happening in your ears
right now.
Love you, Daddy.
Can we get one of the fans to dub over an episode
of My Little Pony?
Hi.
I'm sexually inexperienced, but curious.
Oh, God.
Jesus Christ.
What?
What the fuck are you doing to me?
Youth bunker, My Little Pony.
Really?
Oh, Jesus on a cracker.
Keep going.
Then I opened up a piece of paper.
I picked it up and immediately recognized
the handwriting. Or more correct,
mouth writing.
I speculated this is
what she had written down before she left.
Dad,
for 15 years
you took care of me.
For 15 years you loved me, played with me, and made sure I enjoyed...
This is all Portax's fault.
Portax did all of this to you.
Portax put together this document.
I was like, I don't know.
Portax was like, nope.
I bet the person listening right now wants to hear this.
And isn't jerking off.
I swear, honest and forever.
And if you're jerking off to this, come to Ball Pit.
B-A-L-L-P-I-T.
Wait, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Don't come to...
Fuck away.
Cosmion's already paid the $10.
Damn it.
Hi, Cosmion. I'm not a mayor of many words
But even though I told you this in person
I felt you needed
A written version of it
So you will know it was all real
I love you daddy
You helped shape me
Into the mayor I am now
Poor text it's all poor text
I'm not sure What is going to happen me into the mare I am now. Poor text. It's all poor text. Poor text.
I'm not sure what is going to happen if I will remember any of this or not
but I want you to know
that you did a darn good job
of raising me even
if I was a bit stubborn at times
and short with you during
others. With Celestia's
permission, I hope to
allow you to keep our photos,
our memories,
comma, with you
so that you will never forget.
Again, I love you and thank
you. Your little daughter always.
Your little Dashie
forever. Rainbow
Dash.
Thanks, Portax. Yeah, you know,
no problem.
I said if I were to come back, only the most disgusting, soul-crushing material
would do.
Ah!
Fuck!
Oh wait, actually, Lemon, there's something I need to tell you
about this story.
It's that, uh,
bronies consider My Little Dashie
to be the most heart-wrenching,
uh, wonderful, beautiful
fan fiction ever written.
Oh, it's so nice.
They figure that if you read
this story and you don't cry, there's something wrong
with you. Now, mind you, they're right.
Just not in the way they're thinking.
But, yes.
Oh, I hate it.
Am I kicked out?
Yeah
Get out
Back into the box
Yeah back
Back into the poor Dax box
Back in the void
Back into the box
Where Rainbow Dashie was found
Oh god no
Oh no
Got a sequel in our hands
Oh now I got a roommate
Coming this fall on Fox
I was thinking a second creepy guy would walk by and be like,
Oh, there's a poor Texan in this box.
She's a ridiculous cheese pony.
Dashie, you stay on your side of the apartment.
Getting out the masking tape.
So there you are, my dad. I'm getting out the masking tape. And there we go.
Around about an hour of that.
Of that.
Of that.
Whatever that is.
It's a hunt.
Yeah. What did you learn this week? Clear things up for me. What did. Whatever that is. Isahan. Yeah.
What did you learn this week?
Clear things up for me.
What did you learn this week, Isahan?
I learned what this generation's latest incarnation of fan obsession is.
And it's My Little Pony.
Yeah, clearly.
I mean, it's like there's nothing that people talk about with more starststruck weirdness it's weird yeah it takes
their breath away for those of you who are a little bit younger um this is not new uh
you know about 10 years ago it was what invader zim yeah sure uh and 20 years ago it was tiny
toon adventures really i don't remember that about Tiny Toon Adventures, but I'll take that as a story.
Well, what I remember about Tiny
Toon Adventures is that Tress McNeil,
the voice actress for Babs
Bunny, got stalked
by an
obsessed furry fan.
And so, yeah, this is not
something the bronies have spearheaded,
really. They've kind of refined it,
and they've added new
creative, crazy bits to it,
but at its core, it's just
the wheel turning around.
Yeah, I remember actually
talking to...
Oh, I don't know if he wants to have his name used,
but I was talking to somebody, and
he was mentioning to me that
he was glad
that he never watched My Little Pony when it first went on television.
Because he was like, you know, when Powerpuff Girls was sort of amping up, I was like, this is a good show.
And I watched Powerpuff Girls, and he was like, man, I'm really glad I never did it with My Little Pony, because I think that it
would have probably changed me, and
things would have gone very poorly.
There but for the
grace of God kind of thing. Yeah, exactly.
Portex, what did you learn today?
I learned
something from this, and from actually
a bunch of the episodes that we've done.
I like cartoons.
You do. And I even like the pony cartoon. That's not what I've done. I like cartoons. You do. And I even like the funny cartoon.
That's not what I learned, but I like cartoons.
But
despite the fact that I like cartoons,
it is a bad idea to
associate with very toxic
and bizarre people just because
you like the same nerd crap.
As fan communities
get bigger, they get more permissive,
and crazy just builds on top
of crazy and then you know someday you go from uh you know i like watching supernatural to you know
jared is a cat person and jensen is a dog person and they rape werewolves and get pregnant and that
type of shit yeah it gets hotter yeah so if you're if you're so entrenched in this internet shit that
you only associate with like dragon dildo fanatics and multiples and shit then you need to stop yeah yeah because one of these days you're going to
lose all perspective and you're going to approach a you know your favorite musician and say you know
i love all your albums and you know i'm now i'm going to list all the various and sunday trinkets
that i shove up my vagina and you inspired it in me. And only after their horrified look
does it occur to you, maybe I shouldn't
have said that.
Yeah, and
the second thing is that if you hang around
people that act like that and
you don't want to be associated
with trinket vagina
then you need to call them out and distance
yourself from them because that is a
mark that will stay with you forever.
I think that's actually
a larger point that
should be made a little bit
more often. In these
subcultures,
there is...
You can't be...
It can't be, hey, we're all
in the same family. No.
You can't let that happen.
You have to draw some lines.
You need to self-police.
It's like mosh pits, right?
Like, mosh pits, right, there's a bunch of guys
and they're all kind of, like, running around
and smashing into each other
because that's what they think is fun.
And then there's the guy that, like,
walks around in circles and starts hitting people
and he gets his ass kicked
because he's making it difficult
for the other guys to bash into each other.
Yes. Yeah, exactly.
And so if you said, oh, but if I was
if I told that guy to stop running into people
then that would just make me a horrible
bully, well then that's going to give the next
person the courage to start running into people
and then it just turns into a brawl.
Also, just before
we close out, to everyone over the past
like two years who've been asking for a brony episode
we did try to do one about a year ago
but our material wasn't very substantial
or varied so it kind of fizzled
I also tried to
coordinate a brony interview episode
of a regular and that didn't
materialize either because of schedule problems
and I couldn't find a prominent fanfic writer
to go with my artist and composer
so yeah that's why it's
taken so long. Alright, that's enough of our
proselytizing. The website, as always,
thefbl.us, and our community
is Ball Pit. And also,
if you go to Ball Pit, I'm just
going to nip this in the bud right now, I already
know that not everyone who watches the
show acts like this, so
you don't have to tell me that.
I already know.
Yeah, we don't need the holy war.
Alright, we'll talk to you later.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
I missed you, Daddy. This is terrible vaudeville. Poor Dax! Oh my god!
What the fuck are you guys doing here?
No, you be quiet again.
You tried forcing the tulpa.
That didn't work at all.
Nope.
So much for the idea of not planning anything.
Well, if only... That always works.
Lemon, you did call it.
If only someone had suggested planning stuff.
If only someone had asked about sharing the dock beforehand.
You guys are morons.
Anyway, I'm going to disappear now.
You guys sort out your little skit there.
Goodbye.