The F Plus - 127: Cosplay to Win the Cosgame

Episode Date: February 12, 2014

Hey, did you ever have a good friend, and your friend was a really good dresser, and you thought "I'm gonna steal her entire outfit and wear it myself and pretend to be her and go to social gathe...rings specifically for other people who do this sort of thing?" Of course not, that would be creepy. But what if it's not a friend, but a cartoon character? Still creepy? We'll find out as we read Cosplay.com. This week, we're selling our eggs.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I could smell... Pocky? Pretty sure somebody nearby was eating Pocky. The chocolate kind, not the strawberry. Right, back to the sex part. Hi there! This is the F Plus Podcast. Terrible things, right with enthusiasm. My name's Lemon. And I'm Portex.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Portex. Portex for now. Uh-huh. Uh, okay, what are you going to be in the future? What's going on? Well, see, now I know that you... You know, every day I tell you what anime I've been watching. Boy, you sure do do that. And you are interested.
Starting point is 00:00:55 It's weird that you keep changing your phone number so that I get phone calls from strangers and I'm like, oh, what's that? Oh, hey, it's Vortex! You seem to have accidentally blocked my number, but here's what anime character I am. That's just resourceful of you. Yeah, it's good.
Starting point is 00:01:10 And, you know, so I figured that now that we're in these bumpers and you can't get away, I figured I'd just let you know that I've been really getting into Attack on Titan recently. It's this really awesome anime where anime kids fight giants. And the giants are really gross and it's really awesome. But I got a problem. Yeah, you do have a problem. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:01:31 What do you think your problem is? No, no, no. Look, this isn't a problem a doctor can fix. This is a problem that a tailor can fix. A tailor? Yeah. I was thinking that maybe if I got some stilts and I got some hamburger meat
Starting point is 00:01:44 and splished it all over my body, I could make the perfect Colossal Titan costume and then I'll just be totally into character and then I'll get to go to anime conventions and everyone will really, really think I'm really clever. It's going to be great! It's going to be great! It's going to be so great. So you're saying you want to devote your life to the anime lifestyle. want to devote your life to the anime lifestyle, you want to have being
Starting point is 00:02:07 a fan of a thing be the most, like, the only facet of your life, would you be surprised to learn that there are people on the internet who spend all of their money and time committing themselves to
Starting point is 00:02:24 one anime or another. Really? Yeah, it's a surprise. Oh, man. So, cosplay.com, they have a forum, and presumably there's a forum where people go like, hey, here's my costume, pretty cool, huh? Anyway, I'm gonna go to work. But that's not who we're reading.
Starting point is 00:02:40 We're gonna be reading the people that are fucking committed to the idea. Yeah! Here we go. Readers, assemble. In the room tonight, we have Portex. You all are dressed like idiots. Jack Chick. Hopefully, I'll finally have Date Masumune from Senguko Basu Arcoira completed.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Great. Alright. It's fun. The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man. Neither shall a man put on a woman's garment. Ace Arcoiro. I hugged a tiger and quickly felt its chest. Turns out it was a girl and she was pretty disgusted.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Kumquats up! She had no elf ears. Her hair was metallic and made of Christmas tree tinsel for Walt's sake. And lemon. I'm not going to drop you, I assured her. Well, I tried to assure her. With my face buried in her tits, it probably sounded more like mu-mu-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M You're wearing money? Nothing. I'm certainly not wearing a heavy metal t-shirt. That would be out of character. I'm wearing swim fins and a tutu while you're at it. Holy shit, now that is erotic. All right, I want to introduce you to the ladies and gentlemen, but really mainly ladies of cosplay.com. Mostly ladies?
Starting point is 00:04:20 Wow. Goodie. So this is people who have devoted their lives to cosplay. And we're just going to look at a lot of examples of how they've made a really good decision in their life. This can't be so bad because a well-made costume is still something that you can appreciate, right? Even if it's a costume based on a cartoon character. Alright, so we are going to start off with cosplay.com
Starting point is 00:04:51 and then cosplay chat, general cosplay chat, rude cosplay comments. That is a thread that has 475 pages. And it has a rating of 4 stars. So we're gonna be
Starting point is 00:05:08 reading, we're gonna be reading all of them. Also, I have a question. I have a question. Is this pronounced cosplay as in a cosine or cosplay as in a costume? Well, it's supposed to be cosplay for costume play, but
Starting point is 00:05:24 seeing as that lemon pronounces pagan as pagan, I guess we can go either way. Wow. It's fine. I always thought it was cosplay as in from Bill Cosby. Was there a Bill Cosby cosplay? I'm going to look. Where's Bill Cosby?
Starting point is 00:05:38 All right, all right, all right. Shut up, shut up. All right, here we go. Kumquats up. Will you start us off as Eerie Butterfly? My name is Eerie Butterfly and I would like to talk today about rude cosplay comments. I usually
Starting point is 00:05:52 find out about rude comments about me cosplaying through my normal friends. Lame. It's in quotes. That's nice. Keep in mind I was a member of the cosplay club at my old
Starting point is 00:06:09 high school. Is that where you met your normal friends? I think you're saying she's OG. It's totally a relevant thing that I said there. Through them, I found out that a guy in my class that was nice to everyone would act nice to my face,
Starting point is 00:06:26 but when I would leave, he would mock me and tell others I dressed like a Sideshow Freak too chunky or busty for the characters I cosplayed as another comma or doesn't look like the character at all. Parenthesis, Fridays were cosplay day for a club. Oh. Oh, that's why she brought... See, it's payoff. So, Fridays were cosplay day.
Starting point is 00:06:52 So, the leader of this... In the cosplay club. The leader of this high school cosplay club went, you know, the people that are involved in this club, they just don't get beat up enough. I think we should make it mandatory that they show up to school in their fucking cosplay once a week. I would like to think that the person
Starting point is 00:07:07 who's, like, making fun of us is also in a costume. Your Goku sucks! The guy from Symphony of the Night is like, you're just, like, an idiot! Keep going. After I found this out, the very next Friday, I cosplayed as Toru Honda Fruits Basket and punched him in the face!
Starting point is 00:07:31 I totally did that, that's totally a thing I did. Saying, if you are going to insult me or the club I'm in, say it to our faces, and not behind our backs, we won't get butthurt over the critis... Critisem you may have. Ask your doctor about Critisem. As I was going back to my seat, I turned back and said,
Starting point is 00:07:58 Oh, I punched him in the classroom? Yeah. Totally happened. Yeah. I turned back and said, Oh, before I forget, we win awards and other high honors. I can't say the same about the team you play for and the thanks for participating ribbons aren't high awards. And then everyone carried me out on their shoulders.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Yeah. And then I took down the Sicilian mafia. When I moved and transferred schools, I was told by my friends that story was made a legend in the cosplay club. And the football team started to win.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Oh yeah. We were losing, but then we got that locker room pep talk from that chunky girl who dresses like as Toa Roo Honda Fruits Basket. All right, guys! You guys have had a shitbag of a season! Now our cosplay club keeps winning awards! Jack Chick, you are also very badass, and your name is Smoted. Is it? Okay. Hey, guys, I'm Smoted. Oh. Is it? Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:07 Hey, guys. I'm Smoted. I'm a deleted account. That's badass. This happened literally two hours ago. Me and a few friends were coming out of an Albert Sands. We were stocking up some supplies for a big 50-person airsoft gathering down at a friend's property. What happened was
Starting point is 00:09:22 me and four of my buddies were walking out with shopping bags and this happened. Us, randomly chatting. Oh good, it's formatted like a script now. Guy. I can't believe you freaks were let into that store. What's the matter?
Starting point is 00:09:36 Couldn't buy any normal clothes so you walk around in camouflage? Sorry, camo-flouge? Camo-flouge? I'm sorry. We're all out of jeans. All we have is sailor suits. My friend.
Starting point is 00:09:55 It's amazing how the people with the smallest brains have the biggest minds. Oh, snap. What was that, boy? Me. You heard him. You better calm down. You're getting riled up for no reason. God, oh yeah?
Starting point is 00:10:11 What are you going to do about it? Me, not a thing right now, but once you step out of range, those security cameras, I might do something. Let's look at the believability meter. No, it's fine. It's just going up. Totally buying this.
Starting point is 00:10:25 People who want to kick your ass always love to hear you just talk about how they're totally going to kick your ass. I mean, it harkens back to other readings that we've done where, like, people will be in fights and having these long dialogue exchanges. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, no, he's not in a fight right now because he looked at his, like, Metal Gear Solid heads-up display and saw that the security camera could see him. Oh, shit, I'm in the cone! This is a cone conversation. Yeah. Nice.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Guy. Oh, yeah? Me. Yeah, you see, when I'm not lifting 75 pounds of concrete and cement, I'm at the box office. Nope, nope, nope. Go back. What are you lifting? Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 00:11:01 Nope. Go back. What are you lifting? Oh, sorry. Yeah, you see, when I'm not lifting 70 punned bags of concrete and cement, I'm at the boxing ring training to beat the SH percentage sign T out of guys who run their mouths for no reason. It's people like you that need to be put in their place. So when the whistle blows and you go on break, the foreman tells you to go
Starting point is 00:11:26 Think about beating the shit out of guys I lose 75 pound bags of concrete Samantha traded the boxing gym And I'm into cosplay I'm a person The thinnest Venn diagram is just this one person Oh yeah Me
Starting point is 00:11:42 Yep you see my record is 15 wins 5 losses in, and 1 tie. With the concrete? But that was a bogus call. Just because I was bleeding didn't mean I couldn't carry on the match. You're talking to this guy about this shit. You see, I'm what you call a bastard, and that means I enjoy fighting. Yeah, that's what that means.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Bastard, that's what that means. Bastard, that's what that means. It's the literal definition, literally. Yeah, exactly. Guy. Well, well, well. No, read that right. That's not how Guy said that line. Yeah. Okay. How did Guy actually say well, well, well?
Starting point is 00:12:20 Well. Well. Well. There we go. Terrific. Me. But you should be glad my friend here doesn't want to fight you. Guy. Oh, yeah. Which friend?
Starting point is 00:12:36 Me. You see that big Ford with the eight guys in the back? Yeah, why don't we find out? What? What? Now you've got your, like, cosplay posse? He's making up the stories he goes along, so he might as well have a trunk full of friends.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Also, this was in Vietnam! Those guys are going to be really disappointed when they find out this fight isn't going to be turn-based. Wait, I didn't explain how much of a badass I am. Why are you punching me already? I choose you! Oh, God. Why are you punching me already? I choose you. Oh, God, why are you punching me? Guy.
Starting point is 00:13:12 No, no, that's okay. Actually, I was just leaving. Jesus Christ. Friend. Yeah, you do that. Guy goes inside the store. Thanks, narrator. Yay.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Friend. Aw, crap, we forgot the chips. Thanks, narrator. Friend. Aw, crap. We forgot the chips. I better get them. Me. Alright, take the last of the cash and get some and don't scare the guy
Starting point is 00:13:34 by following him or anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Friend. Fine, but I'm keeping what's left over. Why didn't they just
Starting point is 00:13:42 muck the guy? Oh, yeah, and pick up some Magnum condoms for me, too. I'm gonna need them later when I'm keeping what's left over. Why didn't they just muck the guy? Oh yeah, and pick up some magnum condoms for me too. I'm gonna need them later when I'm banging a girl. A really hot girl. In a costume. Acier, you are a minty fresh ninja. Oh, of course I am.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Take criticism with a grain of salt. Sure. Chances are all these crap talkers are just that and I'll talk just like the previous post personally I like when people are looking like they want to say something to some nearby cosplayers walking down the street
Starting point is 00:14:20 then I pull up right beside these fools in my car in my ninja outfit yeah okay then I pull up right beside these fools in my car in my ninja outfit. Yeah. Okay. And then they rev my engine and jerk my chin up as if to say hey, I'm in mom's car. What's up, fools?
Starting point is 00:14:36 Their smiles turn to ah, shh. Let's not piss off the ninja. I'm sorry, what did they say? What did their smiles turn to? Their smiles turn to that Their smiles turned to. That's it. And then, ah, shh. Let's not piss off the ninja.
Starting point is 00:14:54 This was at A-Fest 06. Which takes place in feudal Japan, I assume. Portex, your moon song. My moon song? Moon song. All right. In feudal Japan, I assume. Portex, you're Moonsong. I'm Moonsong. Moonsong. All right. I've never had much worse than being ignored by a group of friends at a convention. I fully expect some sort of negative remarks eventually, though.
Starting point is 00:15:20 And I have my response all set up. Good. What is it? What response is that? Are you guys ready? Yeah, please. No, I'm not. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was a bitch convention.
Starting point is 00:15:34 And then I'll walk away. Oh, snap. All right, so you're more likable than the other people so far, because at least you thought of a timid thing that you never said. But you're totally doing it. And you owned up to it. All right, Isfahan, finish up this 475 post thread. Moon Song is into Hetalia.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Yeah, with Twisim. Hello, my name is Twisim. I was watching Maid one day with my brother, and they had a girl who cosplayed a lot. One of her classmates commented on her, saying, it's a little weird to dress up like anime characters
Starting point is 00:16:13 regularly. My brother has a problem with me cosplaying, so he just looks over at me and laughs. I yelled at the TV screen, isn't a little weird to dress up like a slut on a day-to-day basis? I felt better after that.
Starting point is 00:16:30 Yeah, take that TV. Sweating smiley. These fucking cosplayers are just sending people to the burn ward last night. Yeah. My Pokemon trainer's gonna send you some burn heal for that. If I personally blogged
Starting point is 00:16:44 every time that I yelled at the TV, I would do nothing but watch TV and blog. Some people do that. Fair enough. Yeah, that's a strange phenomenon that you just described. Yeah. All right, so this is a thread about people that are less cultured, and specifically people who just aren't cultured enough to appreciate cosplay.
Starting point is 00:17:11 Oh. I thought you were going to say opera. No, cosplay. Cosplay. All right. My name's Facebreak, which is a good name. I mean, it's pretty good. You like it?
Starting point is 00:17:22 Facebreak. Are you a fan of the Nuge? Is that what's going on here? Wangozy tangozy dressing up like a bunny. I've never heard of that anime. You're going to have to show it to me. Okay. When I cosplay in public, I almost wait in excitement for someone to say something along the more disrespectful or mocking lines.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Because I just love seeing the type of people who don't understand that we may not all be clones, colon three. It just makes my day a whole lot better. And it's usually stupid people that care enough to say something, too. Which I find interesting and amusing. Like, someone stops you in a mall, what the hell are you wearing? And I say interesting and amusing. Like, someone stops you in a mall, what the hell are you wearing?
Starting point is 00:18:09 And I say, a cosplay. What? Which I don't think is how that's supposed to work. That's not really a noun. I don't really know the lexicon as well as this guy does, so whatever. Anyway, I say a cosplay. Then he says, a what? Laughing with friends, he says?
Starting point is 00:18:23 He says that. And then I say, a what? Laughing with friends, he says. He says that. And then I say, a cosplay. Clearly you're not cultured or intelligent enough to understand the fine art of holding memorial to a favorite character. Did they die? They stuffed me in my locker.
Starting point is 00:18:38 No, that's not what happens. I'll tell you what happens. At which point, they either walk away, glare, or give a really stupid comeback and only makes me laugh, colon three. Ah, I adore these people. They have nothing
Starting point is 00:18:54 better to do. Meanwhile, I'm in a costume at the mall for no reason. Maybe they're talking about their friends, you know. Holding memorial, no less. ACR, you are Heather Foe-Eva 06. Of course you are dressed as someone.
Starting point is 00:19:09 I'm Heather Forever until I stop being Heather, so it's not for very long at all. Anyway, they laugh because they don't understand, and that actually makes them feel stupid. So, what do they do? They do whatever they can to make themselves feel better. You see, those interested in anime
Starting point is 00:19:26 are actually cultured Jesus Christ Yeah We explore Japanese entertainment We're also talented in making our costumes Click that picture
Starting point is 00:19:43 That is not true We have knowledge and skills these people don't have costumes. Click that picture. That is not true. We have knowledge and skills these people don't have, and they are actually quite jealous of that. Yeah. You can't get that word out. Oh my god, you're dressed up as
Starting point is 00:19:59 some god, I don't even know what the hell that is. I'm filled with jealousy. I'm gonna say something stupid at you. I like that the jocks would be at the mall and they'd be like, whoa! People dressed up like a Pokemon? That blows my mind! I don't even know up from down anymore.
Starting point is 00:20:13 I think we just got inspired to wing the big game on Friday. Thanks, cosplay. Trending montage! Alright. Isfahan, you are a dragon? My name is Dragon. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:20:32 My friends and I were meeting up at the train station a couple of weeks ago. If this helps your characterization, you are a German girl wearing a fedora. Just in case that helps. You're also a German girl covered in cardboard trying to look like a Mega Man character. Anyway. I think a German accent would be too exhausting for this.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Yeah. My friends and I were meeting up at the train station a couple of weeks ago for a private photo shooting. Apparently, it was some sort of... Private photo shooting. Apparently, it was some sort of... Pole! Private photo shooting, yes.
Starting point is 00:21:10 There are Polaroids in here. It's good to make a shooting. Apparently, it was some sort of festival at the same time, and we were almost complete when someone laughed at us and asked mockingly, and what are you supposed to be? Harry Potter?
Starting point is 00:21:24 Were they? I don't know. You haven't established whether or not you were. You said what costume you were wearing. My friends were glancing at the guy and his friends, but I couldn't help but break into a heartfelt chuckle, which caused my friends to laugh along and made them apparently feel incred-de-de-de-bull stupid. And they were. A heartfelt chuckle.
Starting point is 00:21:45 So you laughed and you sort of brushed your hand against his face. Yes. Oh, you. This is why the guy should feel stupid, apparently. And they were. I mean, Harry Potter XD. That was a good one. Especially considering our costumes.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Which, yeah, that really should be mentioned first But go ahead We had one of the Turks from Final Fantasy VII A Sebastian from Kuro Shitsugi A wolf girl in creation A girl from D. Gray Man I always forget her name That doesn't sound very cultured
Starting point is 00:22:19 Sanso from One Piece And me as Taegong Wang Asian looking guy That had to be clarified Sanzo from One Piece and me as Taegong Wang, Asian-looking guy. That had to be clarified. So just so we're clear, Taegong Wang is an Asian-looking guy. From Warriors Orochi 2 at that point.
Starting point is 00:22:39 Right, sure. Noon of us looka anything remotely close to anyone resembling Harry Potter. It was less insulting than proving how brainless people are. If anyone is going to attempt insult us, they should at least know what they are talking about. This group apparently didn't knew any of our character, nor did it knew Harry Potter. Now I really wish I had the German accent for that last paragraph. I think that says a lot about the type of circles, social circles a person's in. It's like, you don't even know anything about Harry Potter is like an insult.
Starting point is 00:23:20 What the fuck? Who's to say? Kamkwasov, what would you say is the eternal struggle in life? I don't know. Oh, well, I'll tell you then. The eternal struggle, of course, is parents versus convention. Oh, yeah. And this seven-page thread is the topic of parents versus convention. You are Oshii.
Starting point is 00:23:44 You either have an acne problem or you've been scalded by hot wax. Oh, I have green hair. Good. Okay. Yeah, it's important. Wow! I gravely mistook my mom! That sounds gross. I told her about how I wanted to pick up some fabrics
Starting point is 00:24:00 for my safer costume after classes today and she's all pissy like oh and what is this for good questions um October and February
Starting point is 00:24:14 no you're not going to any of those anime things during the school year man what a chicken wuss then she went on about money during the school year. Man, what a chicken wuss. Then she went on about money. I owe her like $400 for this school book.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Focus on my studies, etc. Blah. Kind of tuned her out. Someone needs to slap her and remind her that I'm legal. I don't know And I'll frankly Do go What? We're even? The fuck I want?
Starting point is 00:24:54 I'm an adult now, I can't owe people money I'm an adult now I don't see why living at home counters that Um On the second page Um Jack Check, you are Alchemist Merlin.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Bust out your best wizard voice. What are you, some kind of Harry Potter? Alchemist Merlin. Grrr. Parents anger Merlin much. My parents think I'm an idiot for watching anime. Of course my dad can't say much because he plays video games at work, lol.
Starting point is 00:25:31 I always walk into his office and he's sitting there playing Age of Empires on his free time. So I use that against him. Do you work with your dad? My mom just keeps mumbling mindless whenever she walks by and I'm watching it. If it weren't for the nudity, I'd tell her to shit and watch Ghost in Shell.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Just ask her how mindless that was. I personally felt ghost was really, really deep. But she would just see the nudity and ban me from anime altogether. Emoticon. Right, like anime does anything worse to my mind than her Spanish soap operas do to hers. Emoticon. That's a fair point, actually.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Quite frankly, parents aren't meant to understand. They never have, they never will. Too bad it's their loss. Hell, I'll still be watching anime when my kids are 15 and I'm 30, lol. Whoa! What's your life plan like there, buddy? He's gonna adopt. Yeah, totally.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Well, there is a four-year waiting list, so you'll need to be on the adoption list at 11. Sorry, did I say adopt? I meant kidnap. Alright, Acier, you are Red Chainsaws with a Z. Red Chainsaws? Delarcious.
Starting point is 00:26:56 Uh, well, a while ago, before my obsession with cosplay, cosplay, cosplay, I was indulged. What? Come on, I, cosplay. I was indulged in... What? Come on. I like verbs. I was indulged in Magic the Gathering and other random card games like Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh. My mom absolutely hated that I was so
Starting point is 00:27:18 into card games and she repeatedly took them from me slash threatened to throw them away if I ever got too caught up in them, etc. Well, once I ditched cards for manga, you could say... How did I know Lemon was going to laugh at that? Things are looking up
Starting point is 00:27:40 for me. I moved up to manga. I'm not playing Magic the Gathering, Mom! Are you ready for the bad news? Hey, well, hang on. Well, you could say my mom was relieved that I had found something a little less time slash money consuming. I mean,
Starting point is 00:27:56 reading manga online or watching it for free really isn't a big deal. But the cons were what she really didn't like. At Comic Con last year, she threw a fit and basically called me out by saying, Cosplay? Isn't that dorky? So your mom is Lemon? This guy got the cool mom and he's just like,
Starting point is 00:28:15 My mom sucks! Come on! Come on! Don't you want to just drink Jameson with me? No! Magic the Gathering! My only response was a more polite get foe comment. I really wish parents were less stupid sometimes. Making assumptions for things that are for kids
Starting point is 00:28:36 and whatnot is by far the most annoying thing I've ever heard in my life. Sometimes I just want to beat the sense into them. Uh, less than greater than underscore less than. Lucky for me, I keep my costumes away from her at a friend's house. Whoa! I can't tell that these people are teenagers at all.
Starting point is 00:28:56 What happens when the parents find the costume, and then you have to have that, I was holding it for a friend. Oh, can we, yeah, is there going to be like a PSA? Like, have you talked to your kids? Oh, I was afraid it for a friend. Is there going to be a PSA? Have you talked to your kids? Oh, I was afraid you were the prostitution or something. Oh, you're just showing up as a character. That's cool. Keep it up. Oh, so in the
Starting point is 00:29:16 PSA, can they be like, I learned it from watching Pokemon, okay? I learned it from watching Pokemon. Oh, those font colors are hideous. Alright, my name is Crystal Lake. Hmm. My parents won't let me go three days to FanimeCon, and I've been waiting a year and a half.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Damn it! To go! T underscore underscore T. So, to retaliate, I'm going to wear my costumes I planned for a week in public. I don't care what people say. First, it's Lenny. Then, original bell dandy. The pretty hair.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Then, Anko. The young Itachi. Then, femme Sasuki. And then, last but not least, EGL. Original Lenny. Stupid parents will rekaive horrified stares at church and gossip about how they're raising me for not letting me go to fan of me. Con. Damn it.
Starting point is 00:30:15 I am so pissed. The way she worded that sentence, it made it sound like people will be in the pews. Whisper. Did you hear she didn't let her? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Those people are horrible.
Starting point is 00:30:27 She had so many planned costumes. Yeah, well, seriously. She said she's wearing all her planned costumes. She listed, like, seven. Yeah, yeah. Even if they beg me to take off my costume and wear some tickling, proper to church, orchestra practice, and art school.
Starting point is 00:30:43 I don't know what proper art school attire is, but alright. Yeah, you're going to Oh no, someone's going to be dressed like an idiot at fucking full sail. That'll be new and different. Wait a minute. See that girl over there? She has brown hair. And a button-up shirt.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Get her. I'm still going to wear it. Looks like someone's a little lost. This will be my outcry against parents who dislike anime and cosplay. Yeah, protest. I'm sure it'll be a watershed moment. It'll be the stone wall of anime. The anime stone wall riots, yes. I do think I have a good reason to shock my parents
Starting point is 00:31:26 by wearing my cosplay in public for four days straight with full makeup. Immature? Yes. But justified? Totally! I don't plan to annoy the public with it. Whether or not I plan to. Don't plan too hard on that. But simply tell the world that I am a cosplayer and I'm proud enough of my work to wear it in public,
Starting point is 00:31:46 but have you ever tried to make one cosplay perfect by working on it for a year and a half? Also, my parents lied. So they will be disgraced, church. Too bad for them. They have a cosplaying daughter, and if they don't like it, I can't wait till I go off to college
Starting point is 00:32:03 so I can wear my cosplays every day! Cat face! Everybody will be totally cool with it at college. Because there's no parents there. It'll be fun. I can wear it to all the parties I'll get invited to. Cosplay parties, man.
Starting point is 00:32:19 She'll be like, are you into Odin Sphere? And they'll be like, fuck yeah, I am. Let's have sex. Ha ha ha. be like, are you in the Odin sphere? And they'd be like, fuck yeah, I am. Let's have sex. Your college experience was very different than mine. Yeah. ACR, you are Avskull.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Oh. The audiovisual skull. All right. Audiovisual skull. I couldn't see that as a band name. That's not bad. Any costume that covers my pirate parts well, I'll wear it. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:32:52 What? Arr! Let me try that again. So I guess that's like an eyepatch. Yeah, I was going to say they have a hook, and they're like, does the character have a long sleeve? It covers up the hand, and the eyepatch covers up the eye. Yar!
Starting point is 00:33:04 It's driving me nuts. Scurvy discoloration. You scurvy dogs. I'll wear a public meeting downtown in the afternoon on a Friday. I don't have any friends. I'm trying to pretend.
Starting point is 00:33:19 You don't have any what? I don't have any friends who costume up where I live, so I solo it all the time. Sure. I've already lost my dignity. Shocker. So I might as well dress however I want. The more elaborate, the more fun. That's what I think.
Starting point is 00:33:36 That really should be a time when you take inventory of your life when you start writing sentences like I have no shame. I've lost all my dignity. You can get it back! Believe me! So you're saying you've never walked around
Starting point is 00:33:54 in costume in public? I'm not saying that. No, I have walked around in costume in public. You know, I wish Halloween was more than once a year, but it's alright. Oh yeah, Lemon went as a mauled zebra last year I did yeah yeah but you didn't wear it like
Starting point is 00:34:11 you know on a date you didn't wear it like at the movie theater I mean how can you know I just think that you need to rethink your life you still have shame I do you still haven't lost all your dignity yeah I think that's really what I've been missing is none of the really what I've been missing
Starting point is 00:34:25 Is none of the dates that I've been on recently The lady has shown up in cosplay I know and you just can't get hard can you She's only dressed up in like a metal t-shirt And stuff Isn't it embarrassing If you go on a date And you're both wearing the same metal t-shirt
Starting point is 00:34:42 We can't go out like this Oh let me change You're both wearing the same metal t-shirt. We can't go out like this. Oh, let me change. You're also wearing a hellhammer tee. So I will say that I have shown up to a show and had somebody wearing the same shirt and we definitely did the like, oh, I can't believe you wore that. We're just going to have to change.
Starting point is 00:35:02 So one of us, it was actually that we wore the same hoodie and so one of us took it was actually that we wore the same hoodie, and so one of us took off our hoodie and just sort of wore it, like hid it somewhere or co-checked it or whatever, so that we didn't look identical. Sure, sure. Because we had different t-shirts. Yeah, of course. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Cool. That would have been weird if you were both wearing the same t-shirt. That would have been, yeah. Well, you guys had the same hair, I assume, so what if you have to shave your head? Alright, alright, lithium flower. Ladies and gentlemen, skinny and stout, I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about.
Starting point is 00:35:34 The admission is free, so pay at the door. Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor. Wait, why would I pull up a chair then? What am I doing with the chair? You just gotta pull it up. He needs to sit down! We all have to bequeath him a chair. Alright, fair enough. Once
Starting point is 00:35:51 upon a time at ACON 21 in Dallas, Texas, my friend Manny worked security at several conventions and was getting my friend and I tickets as part of the here's a whole crap ton of extras for you perk he got for donating his time and manly madness to Akon. Period.
Starting point is 00:36:09 However, problems arose, and he wasn't going to make it to the first day at all, knowing my friend had flown from Orlando to come. He was so kind and noble as to wire us over money to get our tickets. The problem was that the place
Starting point is 00:36:24 we were picking it up for was a seedy, nasty, farty-smelling corner store in the downtown area. It's a good, like, primer for the convention itself. Downtown area close to the convention center.
Starting point is 00:36:39 That's how you know the bad neighborhoods. People just go into 7-Elevens and fart. Well, maybe there's a Sasquatch there. Oh, fair enough. Wait, I think he's telling us something. Picking up McUltra. The store was about wide enough to fit four people standing next to each other, and fairly long.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Now, keep in mind, these four people are convention goers, so they're a bit wider than the average person. There was a wall of lighters behind fogged and scratched glass with a lot of scratch-offs on the wall, run by a couple of mafia-esque looking fellows with greasy hair and a lot of gold chains. So,
Starting point is 00:37:20 a gas station. Why are you explaining this? How, yeah, how fucking long did he, like, he to set the scene for you? It was not like CVS slash 711 slash Average Chain Drugstore. Yes, it was! Average Chain Drugstore
Starting point is 00:37:35 Next to... Not all of us have the privilege of leaving the basement, okay? She's bringing valuable information from the outside, and I feel interested. Tell us! What have they in the outside world? What have you seen? It was dank and stinky and clearly not at all the place for two barely
Starting point is 00:37:51 legal young ladies to be alone in. Problem two was we wear goddammit, both in costume. Were your pirate parts covered? My friend as the Mad Hatter and me as Alice, trotting through downtown Dallas, through the stinky ghetto-ness areas,
Starting point is 00:38:11 to this nasty little nothing of a corner store. Jesus Christ. I am fairly sure they thought we were some kind of prostitute. Cartoon prostitutes have crossed over to our dimension. Disney's gotten really dark lately. Listen, I want you to put a top hat with a little coupon in it. Now, the thing is, okay, so this has been going on
Starting point is 00:38:36 for a couple of paragraphs. There's only about three sentences left, and we still haven't gotten to the story part. Exposition's very important. At the time, the guy claimed there was a $2 sign fee to withdraw. Manny had told us he paid this already, but frankly, this was not the man to argue
Starting point is 00:38:52 with, and we were desperate to get out, so I paid it. Ooh, was that the conflict and resolution? I don't know. Later, when I told Manny he had a fit and was going to call up the place since they'd ripped us off, hardly by much, but as he put it, what if you hadn't had an extra $2 sign on you at the time? And I know he was looking out for us.
Starting point is 00:39:11 What? But still, creepy ghetto money order picking up was creepy. God damn it! What? I'm glad we read that. That was great. Fuck! Don't you feel it, Rick?
Starting point is 00:39:21 I mean, it's entirely plausible. Isn't that a great story? Jesus Christ! It's entirely plausible that two cosplayers would not have two dollars Well, they bought all those kawaii posters But they did Alright, so this thread is entitled What are is the craziest stupidest thing you did for cosplay money?
Starting point is 00:39:42 And this is the thread that I was looking through this and I was like okay, yeah, yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe. And then I saw this thread and this was definitely where it became, yes, we will read this. Alright, so Portex, if you'll start us off as
Starting point is 00:39:59 Alorel? Alorel? I'm Alorel and I'm dressed as a skitty from Pokemon. You're proud of your Pringles. Because I'm subhuman. Sure. Yeah. I beat up my brother once because I only needed 20 more bucks for this fabric once.
Starting point is 00:40:17 Happy D-Face! My name's Mr. Kitty! You're awesome! Awesome! I don't know why I found that so funny there's an xddddd it was almost like a skit curtain alright
Starting point is 00:40:41 Jack Check mango chutney, please. I briefly considered selling my eggs. Thank goodness they're too stale to use now, and that option is off the table. Thank goodness for everyone. What did I just hear there? Okay, so selling eggs not to pay for the rent or anything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:10 You know, it's gonna be a new musical like where everyone needs to cough up their money for the cosplay costume. What an awesome costume I could make with $5,000 and a bloodstream full of nesting hormones Jesus Christ
Starting point is 00:41:29 That's good because your costumes look so great If I read that correctly is she like in menopause now? Well no I don't think you I think that your time span for being able to donate
Starting point is 00:41:45 eggs is pretty short. I'm not sure, but I think you have to be mid-twenties. I think the absolute highest it will go is like 30 is the cutoff point. Okay, sure. I thought that
Starting point is 00:41:58 bloodstream was full of domestic hormones. Anyway. So, Ace here, you are Kelly. She dressed up as a jellyfish. You know, I should really look into that. That could be the answer!
Starting point is 00:42:16 And then later. Sadly, I found out I'm not quite old enough. I'm 20, purple, frowny face. I'm talking to my dad about cosigning a lawn with me. I really want this costume to happen.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Oh, boy. So, see, that's what you meant by cosplay, Lemon. I got you now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cosign play. And I could pay off nearly all of it by the time I'll be wearing it. Fuck!
Starting point is 00:42:45 Well, it might be seriously poor judgment on my part to even consider spending a year's college tuition, in my defense I go to a community college at the moment, on a costume, but I have OCD problems with doing it right. That's not what OCD is.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Also, you're not doing it right. You're doing it very wrong. Really? I could sell my eggs and pay it off by that time anyway. Yay. So you've come to the conclusion, cosigning alone to pay for my cosplay costume, bad idea, but I could still sell my eggs.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Yay. Right? No? I was like, I was gonna use these anyway. I'm not sure if anyone that has trouble having kids would want your DNA. Jack Jack, you are Chrissy Black X? Chrissy Black X?
Starting point is 00:43:42 Chrissy Black X. I'm not going to my senior prom this year, so I can go to Otakon and D-Star Con. Hey, Chrissy Black-X, I'm distant array. If you've been to prom before, it's cool, but if you haven't, Ben, go just to get it over with. It's something you could possibly regret in the future. And Kumquat, you were
Starting point is 00:44:10 a silver star boy? Not necessarily! I got rejected by ten girls for my senior prom X3, and I don't regret not going! I'm a little bitter. And I don't regret not going. I'm a little bitter. And I don't regret
Starting point is 00:44:28 not going, so I regret going. If I had to wear the prom, I think I would probably look less stupid at the prom. At the prom, all they were serving was punch and chicken, and I prefer sour grapes. Oh, sweet fatal fury. He's the one on the right. grapes. Aww. Oh, sweet fatal fear. He's the one on the right.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Alright. It's still Terry Bogard. Um... Snowstorm. Is applying for unemployment just so you can buy materials for your next cosplay is considered crazy? Yup. Also, he doesn't know how
Starting point is 00:45:07 unemployment works. Yeah, you have to be employed first. What? Look, well, I drew DeviantArt commissions, and then I stopped doing it, so I'm unemployed, right? Were you paying unemployment insurance
Starting point is 00:45:23 while you were making the DeviantArt commissions? That doesn't matter, alright? The point is, I was making $5 and now I'm not. Give me my cosplay money. Alright. I'm just going to start this thread off. It's called Cosplay Wedding
Starting point is 00:45:41 and I am Shiyuki-kun. Next GTO here, fear me. I don't know what GTO is. Like a car? Yeah, have you ever heard of High-Speed GTO by a white wizard? Jesus Christ. No. Here, let me link it to you.
Starting point is 00:45:57 No, I haven't for some reason. Here we go. Has anyone ever thought about having a cosplay wedding? I think it would be cool. I want to know what other people would think. If you did, how would you want to set it up? I would have a ninja wedding, not Naruto. Well, maybe.
Starting point is 00:46:13 I have standards. Oh, well, maybe I don't. Do you, Shiyuki-kun, activate your trap card? Jesus. Wow. A ninja wedding, you have to find the pastor Pretty expertly done joke there Alright
Starting point is 00:46:28 The pastor like smoke bombs in Yes Fahan Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja
Starting point is 00:46:34 Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja
Starting point is 00:46:34 Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja
Starting point is 00:46:34 Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja
Starting point is 00:46:34 Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja
Starting point is 00:46:34 Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja
Starting point is 00:46:35 Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja Ninja First off I must say a wedding is for the bride For the most part it's her big day.
Starting point is 00:46:46 And for the groom, his big day total. But bride is in charge. Second off, if you want to see a cosplay wedding, I'll have it after OhioCon09. That's not the state, It's a Japanese thing. Sure. But it does take place in Ohio. I'm my Frane's guest to his Frane's wedding.
Starting point is 00:47:11 Smiley face. It's gonna be at Ohaycon 09. I mistook for last time. It's actually Ohaycon. And we'll be Brady and the Beast. The Beast and the Beast. The Beast and the Beast.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Jesus. Pride's choice. Groom was excited to say the least. What was he to say the most? Uh-huh. Vortex, you are... Oh, wait, no, wait, no, wait.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Who is... Ace Ace here were you Abscull last time I was Abscull Abscull Redux please I have to ask before we do that Portax what the hell is Clamp Clamp is They make Cardcaptor
Starting point is 00:48:00 Sakura and other cute things like that If I do a cosplay wedding I can't talk like a. If I do a cosplay wedding, I can't talk like a pirate. I don't even know how to talk. If I do a cosplay wedding, this place is going to be cosplayed out too. The walls are going to look like futurists paddling with flashing lights
Starting point is 00:48:16 with fire everywhere and anime music playing and battles every 10 minutes with gallons of fake blood and a card for the weeding would be all cosplayed out too. So in other words, you're not getting married. Well, it's not going to happen anyway, so you might as well dream big.
Starting point is 00:48:31 You're getting metal, other than the anime music. I'd also like to remind you that I have no friends and no dignity and no pride. Yeah, we have already learned a little bit about you, as well. Alright, Portex, you are Shadow Ying Yang? Shadow Ying Yang.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Shadow Ying Yang. Hells yes, I have. Hells yes. Hells yes. Can I get a hells yes? No. Nope. No.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Fuck. I actually never thought about my wedding until recently, Beastly. My friend was talking about it, and I never thought about it, Beastly. I don't plan to get married or have kids. And you would think that would be the end of the post. One would think, yes. Wait, that would stop me from talking about myself, however. Yes, so let's just
Starting point is 00:49:14 back that big fat jerk up here. But anyway, when I finally thought about it, my mind just screamed, cosplay! And I was basically, I'm such a genius! It'll be cheap and it'll be fun! I just screamed cosplay! And I was basically, I'm such a genius! Yes. It'll be cheap and it'll be fun! No, it won't.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Those are all the people that are selling their eggs for their costumes. Yeah. And honestly, I'd rather have wedding gifts of anime slash manga slash video game merchandise than China and furniture. Oh, boy. My house is just going to be an empty room. Those are the only things you get at regular weddings. In regards to
Starting point is 00:49:49 my parents, well, they never really cared about anything I do. They'll think I'm crazy for doing a cosplay wedding, but they wouldn't care. Not only that, if I supposedly do get married, I may talk to my spouse and do us cosplaying as one of my fave shounen
Starting point is 00:50:06 yaoi pairings. Oh, that would be my perfect wedding. Fucking. Fucking. So you talk to your fiancé and you say, look, I'm really into weird
Starting point is 00:50:21 pretty boy anime gay porn. If we could dress like a couple of characters from that, where are you going? So do I fuck you up the ass, or are you fucking me up the ass? The thing is that all of these girl Yahweh enthusiasts,
Starting point is 00:50:37 because then they're going to dress up as their favorite dudes, and then they hit the sack, and then they're like, wait a minute. Fuck, something's missing from this equation. This is not working out so good. As best I can tell, thanks to censorship laws in Japan, a lot of those comics and stuff,
Starting point is 00:50:54 the guys, they can't even draw the dicks or anything. Oh, that's a good point. So she'll be extra confused. So he'll be confused, us will be confused, and she'll be confused because there is a dick there. It's not going to work out for anybody. I thought this was a bunch of pixels. Is she just going to bang his butt with her pelvis or something?
Starting point is 00:51:12 Just bap, bap, bap, bap. Someone just start feeling good. Where do we get to the part where you shove the corn up my butt? Oh, my God. All right. So. Oh, my God. We are going to move away from cosplay.com.
Starting point is 00:51:32 There's some more fun stuff. There's a woman that's dressed up as a drow who has a very long post that we're not going to read. There's also a discussion about looking for love at conventions. Not going to read that either because we need to get to the Christians overreacting. Of course we do. Nice. You weren't kidding. So, come Quatsop, if you'll start us off here with Eric Diamond, the affiliate member with 1,804 posts.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Holy shit. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hey. My name's Eric Diner. What's on your mind, Eric? Someone asked me about her troubled and rebellious teenage girl who is obsessed with growing movement called cosplay.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Costume play. Okay. I know very little about it Cosplay. Costume play. I know very little about it. Because I really never heard about it before. Does anyone know more about cosplay? Can you tell us what's really wrong with it, biblically? Thanks! I already know it's evil. I don't know anything about it.
Starting point is 00:52:46 It's clearly evil. And also, reinforcing that stereotype about how conservatives use the internet is that they go like, I don't understand this! Please tell me about it! That's what research is like. Please tell me why I should be
Starting point is 00:53:05 offended by this. Please affirm my biases. Right, absolutely. Can we just skip to the part where you tell me which book of Leviticus I can quote? Or not. You can say it's somewhere in there. What passage of Leviticus do you think mentions cosplay?
Starting point is 00:53:24 My name is Joe Johnson. To call this a threat to Christianity is stupid. Christianity has much more serious problems to worry about than kids dressing up as superheroes. Superheroes are Spiderman and Spacemen. And Eric Diamond responds?
Starting point is 00:53:40 Joe, based on what I have researched on cosplay and the drawings that 14-years-old girl prove otherwise! Oh, no! So, alright, so, that was the first... Kumquat read the first post,
Starting point is 00:53:56 and this post he's reading now is, like, the fourth. So he went from not knowing anything about it to pretty much answering his own questions. Well, he knew his opinion, regardless. He knew his opinion from the start. How much time passed in between? Over a day.
Starting point is 00:54:17 30 hours. Yeah, that's enough time to go to YouTube. Hell yeah. That's what research is. I do not think you have researched deep enough on cosplay, Joe. Wow. Casting aspersions already.
Starting point is 00:54:31 It's much worse than you think. That's a quote from the Sarah Palin vice presidential debate. I know nothing about cosplay in less than two days later. Man, you guys haven't read up enough on cosplay. Cosplay is a root of abominations after abominations of Pokemon Foodtunary.
Starting point is 00:54:52 What? Really? Okay. Lolita Fashions and Furries that out of Japan. Oh no. Cosplay is also responsible for furries that out of Japan. Sorry dude dude America came up with furries that's our problem
Starting point is 00:55:08 tell me more about these guys these unsaved freaks dress up in all manner god mocking costumes and prance about pretending to be some animated cartoon characters or pretending to be some animated cartoon characters
Starting point is 00:55:25 or pretending to be someone else with sexuality freedom to express rebellion. Did you get this write-up from Japan? Wow. I think we need to go to Scripture and find out what God actually says about it. Oh, nice. All right, so then you go to the Bible and you pull out some random Bible quotes.
Starting point is 00:55:47 We're going to skip over that. It doesn't matter. But underneath your second broken image link, you summarize it for us. You see, cosplay is not about children dressing up as superheroes, gaming characters, etc. God does not see them as cute and as no different from Halloween or gay parades. Dear, oh dear, good lord. The truth is, they pass on the abominations
Starting point is 00:56:25 and damnation to their children by forcing them into the cosplay cult. No. I will say, you know, at my age, I think cosplay is rather silly, but calling it a cult is... It's really a magical time when a new mother gets to first
Starting point is 00:56:43 introduce her child to the supernatural fandom. It's time for your first episode of Sailor Moon, a very important step in any young girl's life. So at a certain time in a kid's life, you have to sit them down and talk to them about the Birdos and the Bezos, and, you know, then they find out. Wow! Wow! Yeah, that happened. sat him down and talked to him about the Birdos and the Bezos, and, you know, then they... Ooh. Wow. Wow. Yeah, that happened. That was...
Starting point is 00:57:09 You know, that was actually pretty good. Yeah, all right. Oh, wow. You were disgusted at first, and then you thought about it. It's kind of... I was... It's kind of... It's a terrible joke, but so well-crafted.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Yeah. Thanks? And Eric Diamond You can't even stop there No, no, no I am visiting my father where my half-sister stays I am concerned about her She moved in with dad
Starting point is 00:57:36 From mother, not my real mother Home, filled with abuse and ungodly things My sister, Brianna, is 14 And got involved with cosplay. I saw red flags about it last year and told my dad to have her go
Starting point is 00:57:53 see Counselor. She did, but Counselor says that cosplay is an escape core. It's like a giant robot that helps you with your problems. I am Kausalor. I am Kausalor.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Please insert emotional problem. Cosplay is an escape core her from realty. Right. Sure. You know, long hours sometimes. All I want to do is dress up like Naruto. Stop trying to push these closing costs onto me.
Starting point is 00:58:30 The sellers said they would take care of it. This year she grew darker spiritually. For example, she painted her face to represent two chakators. Yep. Two chakators. Yep.
Starting point is 00:58:45 Two checkators. Great. She thinks she is a boy. She has history of voliant behaviors that my dad's wife is consider leaving my dad if he won't do something about Bray Yowdna. What's going on? Whoa. Why did her name get stupider? won't do something about Bray Yowdna. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:59:08 Why did her name get stupider? Maybe it's a sin to consistently spell words the same way. I did some researching on cosplay. You did. You certainly did. To dad, it seemed nothing
Starting point is 00:59:22 and is just an art of costume. Costume Costuoma I warned him That it is evil spirit That plagues upon young Children that introduces them To
Starting point is 00:59:37 Homosexualities and Sucaties Homosexualities is like the one word that he spelled. He can spell the hell out of homosexualities. Suicide. Nope. Swing and a miss. He spells more frequently. Yeah, which one did he do more Google searches on? My father is not sure what to do with...
Starting point is 01:00:02 Now the I is capitalized too. Or it's an L. Maybe it's Brella in an L. I think if you find a post that where he talks about his sister long enough, eventually all the words become capitalized. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:20 Now her mother don't want him. Does anyone have better suggestion to deal with this situation? I think you need to ask Yahoo Answers the way you're typing this. Is there some verses that teaches against cosplay? Or anyone know a good book for a reference? Just in general. You know, sometimes I have a hard time
Starting point is 01:00:45 This is after Eric Diamond himself provided passages that speak against cosplay. What do you mean? Like some books by Osamu Tezuka? I could give you some of those. Anyone familiar with cosplay? Thanks!
Starting point is 01:01:01 So now you're going to make friends with cosplay people? I don't know. I like, I mean, the whole thing is that, like, it's somebody else's daughter, and then he's like, he's like, your daughter is infected with the devil!
Starting point is 01:01:16 And the father's like, no, it's fine, shut up. No! I need to fix your daughter! Okay, for our last piece, it is your choice on which of these two wonderful, wonderful, wonderful
Starting point is 01:01:32 sites we will visit to close. So we can either look at cosplay-related material on kickstarter.com or we can view cosplay- related material on wikiHow.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Oh god, wikiHow. I'm going to say Kickstarter. Kickstarter? I got one on one. wikiHow. I'm looking at this. Yeah, it's wikiHow. Alright, I think wikiHow wins. Okay. So, um...
Starting point is 01:02:03 Sorry. Okay. Do you think we chose them wisely? So Sorry Okay Do you think we chose them wisely? Yeah I think we Think we chose correctly Alright ACR How to cosplay as Garfield please This was written by
Starting point is 01:02:22 Maniac, Amy Wright, Ranked, and Zach, and 11 others. No, 11 other people have edited this. I wish I could do Stog's voice justice. Yeah, I was just missing Stog now too. Alright, how do we cosplay as Garfield?
Starting point is 01:02:39 Cosplaying as Garfield can be a challenge. He rarely does anything except eat, sleep, and enjoy his day. I realize I cosplay as Garfield can be a challenge. He rarely does anything except eat, sleep, and enjoy his day. I realize I cosplay as Garfield every weekend. Oh, damn. Alright, steps. One.
Starting point is 01:02:56 Find a costume hire place that has a Garfield costume. Oh! Why in the fuck is there a step two? Your mind is blown, isn't it? Okay. Why in the fuck is there a step two? Let me take some notes here. Your mind is blown, isn't it? Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:08 I would love it if some girl sold her eggs for a Garfield costume. If not, you will need to whip up your own using the fur fabrics available at many good sewing stores. If you have to sew one for yourself, try to copy the markings of Garfield as pictured here. For really serious cosplaying conventions, you will need to copy the Garfield look exactly.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Otherwise, they will make fun of you. Kick you out. Garfield is inferior. All right, step two? Two, do your face as a cat Only It will need to have Garfield's Large eyes, pink nose
Starting point is 01:03:52 And big smile So not a cat There is no step three Step four There is a step three I don't see it in the Garfield. Step three is carry around a model lasagna. It's Garfield's favorite food.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Yeah, that's a good step. Or just carry a real one around. That would be silly. Oh, okay. I thought... Maybe they meant like the perfect lasagna. Oh, okay. I thought step zero was going to be to eat like 25 lasagna. Lasagna by which all other lasagna is judged.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Yeah, the gold standard of lasagna. I think that factors into step four. Step four sounds very important. What's step four? Make sure there is plenty of fat around your body. You may need to tuck some cushions into the costume. Nope. Probably not.
Starting point is 01:04:52 Five. Look sleepy almost all the time. A few horns here and there and mentions of finding a basket to curl up in. Jesus Christ. Six. Walk lazily as if you're really heavy. Garfield does not go out of his way to move quickly under any circumstances. Unless there's food involved, of course.
Starting point is 01:05:16 So you need to capture the spirit of Garfield. So to cosplayers, they need to get into the mindset of somebody who is lazy and unmotivated. Unlike cosplayers. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone gaining weight for a cosplaying role. Well, you've never met the fucking serious people then!
Starting point is 01:05:38 The hardcore. I've only met the casuals. Dammit, they're artists! The method cosplayers. The Matt Damon's of method cosplayers. The method cosplayers. The Matt Damon's of the cosplay universe. Yes. Seven. Try to be calm
Starting point is 01:05:52 all the time. Garfield never panics and takes all in his stride. He does beat up a lot of people though. I mean, he's not Heathcliff. Eight. Tell people that you hate Mondays and dogs. God damn it. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:06:07 I'm already ahead. Play attack any cosplayer dressed as a mailman. Why would they be dressed as a mailman? I don't know. Also, I'm mailman kin. Oh. Well, maybe I spoke too soon I'm naturally good at sorting
Starting point is 01:06:34 Give cheese and be nice To any house mice cosplayers Jesus Christ This is getting tedious Another costume you are likely to encounter. Ten. This is going to be a reach. Say sarcastic thoughts.
Starting point is 01:06:52 This is a Garfield trademark. I disagree with your definition of the word sarcastic then. Copyright Jim Davis. Yeah, right. Eleven. And finally, carry around
Starting point is 01:07:08 a stuffed toy to represent Odie. Better still, have a friend cosplay as Odie, and you can carry out a routine together. Oh god, how do you cosplay as Odie? I kick you off a table.
Starting point is 01:07:24 I've kicked you off a table. I kick you off a table again. That's it. Is there a tip? What's the tip? Another name for Garfield is the Caped Avenger. Use a blue blanket as Caped Avenger's cape. Thanks. Thanks so much.
Starting point is 01:07:40 That build is too strong, man. Jack Chick, how do we cosplay as Princess Leia, please? I don't feel qualified to do that. Jack, are you familiar with cosplay? Okay. If you love Star Wars
Starting point is 01:07:55 and need a unique costume for a convention, look no further. This step-by-step guide will teach you how to cosplay as Princess Leia. Step one. Actually, is there a How to Cosplay as Lemon cosplaying as Princess Leia?
Starting point is 01:08:10 That would be pretty great. That is a fantasy of yours, isn't it? How to Cosplay as the Sir Lack Pit Monster. It is now. Step one. Study a picture of her. You can also watch videos to know her look and how she moves. Share her look. I don't know what videos you can watch.
Starting point is 01:08:26 Step two. Get a white dress. You can sew or buy one. You certainly can. Step three. Find or make the appropriate belt. Make sure it fits you. Okay.
Starting point is 01:08:42 This guy is really succinct. Step four. Get the right shoes. Okay, good. Step five. Style your hair. If you are having a hard time, you may search for some videos on the internet. I'm sorry, I said that wrong. It's just how to style your hair.
Starting point is 01:08:57 You may search for some videos in the internet. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Step six. Put some light makeup. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Step six. Put some light makeup. Maybe a little blush and lipstick will do. Oh, shit. Jack Chick, we're almost to the end of this wiki how.
Starting point is 01:09:20 We only have one more step, and I still don't look like Princess Leia. Don't worry. I got you covered, okay? Step seven. Okay, okay. Step seven. Okay, what is it? It's like the rug in The Big Lebowski., I got you covered, okay? Step seven. Okay, okay. What is it? It's like the rug in The Big Lebowski. It really ties everything together, okay?
Starting point is 01:09:30 Step seven. Okay. Act like her. Oh! There you go, Lemon. Oh! You gotta go around telling people that they're your only host. Do you have any tips to make it better? Okay. Find good clothes.
Starting point is 01:09:50 Find good clothes? I'm having a hard time. I'm having a hard time. You can get some help from videos if you are having a hard time. But I do have to warn you. Don't wear a metal bikini Right Because that's not how everyone cosplays
Starting point is 01:10:12 Because you can't pull it off Lemon I'm sorry to tell you What are you talking about I'm just kidding you You can't pull it off Last time you got stuck and we had to shoehorn you out of it Oh that's true actually I can put it on pretty well, but
Starting point is 01:10:25 taking it off is a challenge. And just emotionally, I don't want to, you know? We tried to force you so many times to take off that fucking metal bikini. That would be funny if that was a tip. Do not force a friend to cosplay as
Starting point is 01:10:41 Bikini Princess Leia. Next time we're staging an intervention if I see you in that fucking thing again. Alright, alright, alright. So, we need to decide which of these two things is going to be the finale. How to stop acting
Starting point is 01:11:02 like an anime character or how to quit cosplay. How to quit cosplay Like an Anime Character, or How to Quit Cosplay. How to Quit Cosplay is pretty good. How to Quit Cosplay is pretty good. All right. All right, I think I want this one for myself. So now we've been pulled into the cult. We need to find a way back out.
Starting point is 01:11:18 Sure. All right, so this is How to Quit Cosplay. It was edited by Arian Ong, Teresa Maluniu, BR, and someone else. So you want to quit cosplay, huh? Maybe. Quitting cosplay may be bad that if you always can have another hobby to date, or maybe if you are at the age of 30 or older. Cosplaying is like Logan's run.
Starting point is 01:11:47 Bravo. Bravo. Fucking bravo. Oh, yes. Oh, no. My Yu-Gi-Oh bandana is turning black. Come with me if you want to cosplay. Okay, shut up. What was I looking for? Was that the other? Eh, whatever. Anyway. Come with me if you want to cosplay. Okay, shut up!
Starting point is 01:12:06 What was I looking for? Was that the other one? Eh, whatever. Anyway. Okay. Steps. Step one. Do you have to quit cosplay?
Starting point is 01:12:16 Yes, I do. I don't have any eggs left. I'm so bad. And I'm at the age of 30 or older. They won't take them anyway. Do you have to quit cosplay? If you do so, you may as well just study, have another hobby, or give yourself a career such as science or medicine or culinary arts or aviation or business, journalism, politics, music.
Starting point is 01:12:41 This is just random jobs. That sounds horrible. Why would anybody want to do that? Those are the things that adults do. Shit. Okay, I got you. politics music. That sounds horrible. Why would anybody want to do that? Shit. Okay, I gotcha. I like how it's assumed you don't already have a job. No, just when you turn 30,
Starting point is 01:12:55 you transition directly from cosplay to APA. Thanks, DeVry. I never could have done it without you. Get your degree in television repair. Or being a pilot. Or being Porco Rosso. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:14 Step two, no tearful goodbyes. Just go for it. I just, alright. Step three, you might as well just find a new job. Seriously. I just, I'll find a new job. Wait a minute. Did everybody's mother
Starting point is 01:13:25 write this? This is clearly one of those things where there's the wikiHow edit fights. Where it gets sarcastic about the topic itself. Step four. Erase your online presence.
Starting point is 01:13:42 I can't. I'm in this fucking podcast. It's eternal. Lawsuit. Step five. Get rid of your cure and deviant art accounts. Just go with it. Step six. Are you sure that you have to quit?
Starting point is 01:14:01 You kind of have to because you already have a new job and erased your own presence. I don't even have to appear anymore. I'm now on the lam from people dressed up as Mewtwo. Cosplay protection program. I'm on the lum. The cosplay protection program
Starting point is 01:14:21 where they don't give you a mustache? Yeah, they take away your mustache and your sunglasses. Instead of putting them on your forehead, why not on your eyes? All right. If you said yes, you are advised to quit cosplay. If you said no, you can keep on cosplaying for real. Yay! Wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 01:14:45 No, I have to quit. I have to quit. How do I quit? There's got to be one. Step seven. Say to yourself that comma, never I have to cosplay for all those anime and manga. Never I have to cosplay for all those anime and manga. Don't try to parse it, motherfucker.
Starting point is 01:15:03 I said it. You just say it. I got it, set it down Is that what's going on here? Step 8, stop going to cons Okay, done Oh, what? Well, okay
Starting point is 01:15:15 Step 9, face it Do you want to quit cosplay? Fucking yes, why do you keep asking me? And keep pulling me back in And finally, step 10 Fucking yes! Why do you keep asking me? They keep pulling me back in! And finally, step ten. Give a quit cosplay report. If you are reporting to quit cosplay,
Starting point is 01:15:35 you should sell your costumes. Now! This evening at ten. I erased my online presence. How do I do this? Do I have to give it to my teacher? You need to make a new DeviantArt account. Oh. Okay. There's some warnings, though.
Starting point is 01:15:50 I think you need to warn people. Okay. Yeah. Warning number one. You can't be serious on quitting cosplay! God damn it, I want out! You figured me out, damn it. Alright, alright. There's another warning. Cosplayer, I want out.
Starting point is 01:16:04 There's another warning. There's another warning. This may be harmful to quit cosplay. That got really mafia at the end there. Find that guy, yeah. He'll find you. This may be harmful to quit that cosplay. Nice costume. Shame something were to happen
Starting point is 01:16:20 to it. If I quit cosplay, I'd put a bullet in my head. If I quit, if I quit cosplay, I put a bullet in my head. Here, here, and here. And there we go.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Around about an hour of Sonic shoes on my feet! Sailor moon shit on my head! Other sailor shit! Moon shit on my... Oh, whoa. I lost the thread there. You need to watch more anime for that. Yeah, it didn't work out as well as I was hoping.
Starting point is 01:16:58 Portax, what did you learn this week? I learned that it's okay to be nerdy. And it's okay to be super nerdy. Sure, I mean, yeah. And if you want to make a costume and make it look perfect and get every detail right, that is totally fine and you can do that and no one's really gonna
Starting point is 01:17:16 judge you or care. Yeah, obsessions and commitments usually are entertaining. Yeah, so however, if you do stuff like that, you just have to remember to have a life outside of that you can't have this this thing be where uh you know i'm a cosplayer and and this pop culture thing is the thing that purely defines me and if anyone says anything bad about it then my whole world just crumbles you can't do that You have to have a life outside of that.
Starting point is 01:17:47 Totally, totally. Like, there's, like, you know, like, I mean, some of these people are obviously not young, but most of them are pretty young, and so, you know, the idea of, like, of, like, you know, I got this outfit that I want to make, and I want it to be fucking perfect. I get that! I totally do get that!
Starting point is 01:18:04 And it's fine. And, you know, like, whatever. Probably not worth selling your eggs over. Probably not. But, you know, like, yeah, just do the thing. But keep it in that perspective of it's a silly thing. And also recognize it's a big world. There's a lot of cartoons out there
Starting point is 01:18:25 there's a lot of things that aren't cartoons out there what now that i'm gonna take issue with a lot of pop culture out there you don't need to commit yourself to that one thing it's not uh it's not gonna help you it's not gonna help you out uh big big fucking thanks uh to lady frenzy uh for this document uh and also to ladyrenzy for this document, and also to Lady Frenzy for having the name Lady Frenzy. If Lady Frenzy was a musician, I feel like it's kind of like hard techno, like German, like Austrian techno band.
Starting point is 01:19:04 Hello, this is Lady Frenzy. Yeah, like three blonde guys, and then we are Lady Frenzy. Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber. Anyway, thanks to Lady Frenzy for that submission. She went to THEFPL.US and does occasionally hang out on Ball Pit. That's B-L-P dot I-T. And I just briefly about Ball Pit want to mention, you know, we don't do subscriptions. We don't do, like, the donation drives. We don't do that shit.
Starting point is 01:19:34 Like, Ball Pit, the $10 Ball Pit donation fee is really the only way that we try to recoup any expenses. So keep that in mind. I'm not saying you're a bad person if you don't donate, but you are stealing, like you're a common thief. Here's this
Starting point is 01:19:57 entertainment, and if you don't pay... Oh, come on. I can't even fucking keep up with that. Alright, bye-bye. Bye. Oh dear. On such dates, I've worded around campus, to malls, to stores, to movies,
Starting point is 01:20:40 to friends' houses, with a fox in a box, and just in public! In general! Oh. I have no shame! Yeah, you already said that. Did I mention that before? I will cosplay in a hall.
Starting point is 01:20:50 I will cosplay at the mall. I will cosplay at the house. I will cosplay at the house. You're about a minute late on the... I do not like green eggs and ham taro. I do not like... Six out of 10

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