The F Plus - 139: In a Past Life, I Was Also Insufferable
Episode Date: June 15, 2014Death is a really, really terrifying prospect, and people go through all sorts of convoluted processes to avoid thinking of their own death as an impending end. Some people make up entire past li...fe stories for themselves that they can imagine their lives as part of a greater continuum. Other people go to the forums and read those past life stories in a silly voice, just to pass the time. This week, STOG's daughter is his mother.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Have you read the book The Alchemist?
It is set in Northern Africa filled with dessert.
That's a weird name.
I'll save you, but I'll be mighty for the one that I do.
One day I'll be a sign.
One day I'll be a...
This is the F+, your source on the
internet for terrible, very
hippie, stupid things read with
enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have
Bootsring here. In a past life I was
Mighty Mouse.
Bunny Bread. In a past
life I was Sofia Vergara's tits.
Stog! In a past life, I was Sofia Vergara's tits. Stog!
In a past life, I was Darth Thatcher, part of the British Star Wars Extended Canon Universe.
John Toast!
In my past life, I was a ZX Spectrum that somebody poured coffee on.
And Lemon, who in a past life, he was Robert Oppenheimer's conscience.
Hey, F+. Hey.
Hey, Lemon.
How are your lives?
You know, lifey.
Your current lives, I mean.
The life you're living right now.
Oh, not bad.
I wish I was, you know, Cleopatra five times over.
Beigey.
Yeah, so how was your previous life?
Like, was that successful?
And the one before that?
I was a guy who was wishing he was Cleopatra before this, so it's pretty sad.
Pretty much the same as this one.
Like, there weren't
video games around, so I didn't spend all day
doing that, but I, you know,
just all day, stick and tire.
You whittled a lot, right?
I didn't turn into a disgusting animal in this life, so I assume
I was at least mundane in my last one.
Didn't do anything bad, I assume.
I think.
Well, we are going to be
spending an evening on
the spiritualforums.com.
This
is a place
where people
who have varying beliefs
will share everything
that they don't know about
their beliefs and
type in all caps.
So there's a number of different topics covered by the spiritual forums, but really, we're
just going to focus in on specifically past lives.
We will start out here with Jazz.
Jazz is me.
I am in Hebden Bridge in Yorkshire.
Oh, so you're Jimmy Jazz.
The police have been looking for Jimmy Jazz.
So my post is in all caps.
Hi, would anyone here be able to help me with knowing about my past lives, please?
Comma, comma, comma.
help me with knowing about my past lives,
plooves, comma, comma, comma.
I'm asking because I often wonder if my past lives are the reason
for how I feel about a certain
question I have about my life now,
comma, comma, comma, comma, comma.
Camille, you.
Would love to hear from you,
comma, comma, comma.
I have been under, but I had
nothing to give. Cheers, Jazz.
I've been under hypen. I want to choose to know what you said. Hypen, yeah. I've been under hypen, but I had nothing to give. Cheers, Jazz. I've been under
hypen, I want to choose to believe he said.
Hypen, yeah. I've been under hypen,
but now we've got to really get hypen.
Boots, you are cool
chick 101. Yeah.
I can try. As
perform rules, I cannot guarantee the
accuracy of my readings.
Even the psychics in the world are not
100% accurate all the time.
Even them.
That's true.
None of the times is not 100%
of the time.
And any kind of psychic reading is
for entertainment only.
I encourage you to
confirm and to research more
with what I picked up via
Communicate with your guides.
Past life, so on the spiritual
forums you're starting your post out with.
Warning, bullshit ahead.
The contents of this reading do not reflect
the true spiritual lives of any persons
involved. Get into these wild
goose chases with these suppositions I have.
It's alright.
That'll be ten dollars.
That being said, here is what I picked up from you.
In one of your lives, you were a young man and starving artist in Paris, France.
You did not want to conform with rules and wanted to be liberated.
Explains the caps lock.
Your family told you you would not be able to support yourself by drawing pictures, and you did not listen.
What?
They even offered to give you a job somewhere else, but you weren't interested.
You were malnourished and numbed your hunger by smoking and drinking.
That's shouting.
Maybe you could have afforded food with the smoking and drinking money.
There was a cloud above your head playing La Marseillaise your whole life.
It was red, white, and blue.
Solid colors.
Your clients were people you found on the street asking them if they'd like a portrait done.
Sometimes you will paint slash draw pictures of landscapes in the city.
Sometimes you will paint slash draw pictures of landscapes in the city.
Sometimes you would do nude portraits of female clients in a loft that you and other artists shared for working and inhabiting.
You... Oh, hello, Pierre. You're drawing the naked woman again? Oh, I can't see her.
Bye-bye.
You know that's a naked man, right? I mean, I'm seeing your picture and I'm seeing that picture. I know.
You really need to work on the genitals
just saying
you interacted with other starving
artists and writers at a pub
regularly exchanging ideas
and having good times
during tough times
you would borrow money from friends
but were unable to pay it back
you were a loser in your previous life, too.
Tell me if this sounds familiar.
The debt that was accrued...
Poor, shitty...
Mooching.
The debt that was accrued resulted in fistfights,
and you gained enemies.
You eventually passed away of an ulcer before you were 30.
That lifetime was to gain experience and finding yourself.
If any karmic debt has
carried over from your past lives,
you have the opportunity to rectify it now
and learn from your mistakes.
By the way, I never said
give me a tarot reading.
Oh, you're getting a tarot reading!
Okay, fair enough.
You gonna like it, bitch. Now sit back down.
I posted in the warning zone.
I like how they gave that whole, like,
freaking before-the-DVD commentary disclaimer on the start.
And then, that being said, here's something very, very specific.
Well, I don't know if it's specific.
I mean, that was broad strokes.
Bunny Bread, you are Quagmire.
Yes.
You've been suspended.
I'm sorry to hear that.
You posted 2,817 times and then somehow got suspended.
That sounds like me.
Yeah.
Sounds about right.
Which one is this?
It's a Family Guy thing, right?
No, it's not.
Okay.
Never mind then.
There's no such thing.
There's no such thing as Family Guy. Not even in the past right? No, it's not. There's no such thing. No such thing as Family Guy.
Not even in the past life.
No, it's a getting stuck in mud fetish thing.
The symptoms died and then became...
Sorry.
No problem.
I found Quagmire.
Here we are.
Well, I flailed when I started to clean up in my chakras,
physical and spirit body,
that my past life memories began flowing to me.
Okay, sure.
Yeah, of course.
Yup, you betcha.
From then, they have just slowly revealed themselves to me.
Yup.
Under a session with a healer where I got a whole body massage, some of that energy that were released came with a painful memory.
Me seeing Jeanne D'Arc getting burned on the stake. That energy that were released came with a painful memory in me saying,
Jean D'Arc, getting burned on the stake.
Just a suggestion.
You know, you can't clean chakras with isopropyl alcohol, right?
You do know that.
Well, no, I don't.
Dirt.
Dirt leaves.
I was using squirt.
Hi, Barry Scott here for Kaboom.
Clean your chakras with no mess.
squirt. Hi, Barry Scott here for Kaboom. Clean your chakras with no
mess.
So
is
Jeannie D'Arc
related to Joan of Arc?
No, Joan of Arc.
Everybody talks about her.
She just got burned up. She didn't do anything.
Cool chick, you have a response there.
I'm Susie Dark.
Nobody cares about me.
Yeah, I find it fascinating that you were there being a part of history.
However, I can see why.
You're the one person who has a past life with suspicious historical precedence. Yeah.
However, I could see why it was a painful memory.
I asked a very spiritual and wise person.
Fucking somebody burned alive.
Yeah.
I asked...
During a massage, too.
I sensed that with my chakras.
It's like, let me loose-set up this knot.
It's like, oh, thanks for...
Oh, wait.
Don't press that knot.
Oh, God, I'm on fire!
And then the 20 minutes of 2001 Space Odyssey happens.
I asked a very spiritual and wise person why we don't remember our past lives.
They said, if you remember...
Yeah, stick with duh.
If you remember all the bad things that happened in your past, do you think it will help you move forward in your life?
Yes.
Nobody learns from history.
Yeah.
Why would you learn from bad things?
Yeah, I remember somebody saying, if you don't learn from history, then, oh, God, what did they say?
Shit.
All right.
We'll move on.
This is another thread.
We'll move on. This is another thread. This is Spiritual Forums slash Spirituality and Belief Splash.
Past Lives and Reincarnations slash Past Relatives as Pets.
Oh, good.
Oh, good.
Yep.
Oh, boy.
So, John, start it off with Elder Flame, please.
All right.
Hello, I am Elder Flame.
Apparently my great-uncle who died several years ago is my current two-year-old Jack Russell.
Yeah, I was going to say that.
You did know that, right?
I completely said that.
He just sits on the couch all day,
smokes nothing but clove cigarettes.
Drinks half a bottle of scotch,
screams racist things.
That's pretty much it.
I mean, during his human life,
he really loved putting on costumes
and reenacting old books.
Tells Polish jokes.
Saw that in this Jack Russell.
Are there any others who have
or had past relatives as their pets?
Not here pets.
Their pets.
Their pets.
Peace, Walton. Gromit. pets. Peace, Walt and Gromit.
Peace, Gromit. Stog, you're
Nanushka. Hi, my name's
Nanushka. How do you find
out?
How do you do that? How do you find out?
How do you do?
How find out?
And then, Bunnybrite, you're a dream
angel.
Yes, I'm curious to know how you know.
Oh, shit, I'm not going to do that.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hey, dream angel.
Yes.
I'm the creator of the site.
How many times have you posted on spiritualforums.com?
Let's see here.
1, 2, 4, 17,158.
Hooray!
And where are you located right now?
What's upon a dream?
Oh.
Dear.
Okay. Yes! I'm curious to know
how you know.
I hit puberty.
Just know.
How did you know the voice of my dream angel?
The hormone therapy is working very well.
Yep.
I'm a male to even maler
transsexual.
Awesome. Four testicles.
I always thought
it went the other way.
One could be an animal in a past life,
but not reincarnate into one in a
future life. Or there is
always the possibility that you were
pulling our leg with this revelation.
God damn it, you son of a bitch! Smiley face!
No! How dare you?
What was it? Over 9,000 guides
slash angels?
That makes sense.
I expected to be angered in one way, and not that way.
You're no longer my dream angel.
And back to Elder Flame.
You little bitch will always be your dream angel!
Hi, I'm Elder Flame, and I think this is the voice I used last time.
Uh, lol.
Well, you can ask your guides through meditation.
You can find out, too.
And when my great-uncle was alive, he was always fond of dogs,
especially Jack Russell's.
And it can work.
Anyway, remember, one chooses what one
wishes to be, and especially if one has
a connection to a family.
He always humped my leg the same way.
So that means that when I die,
I'm going to be reincarnated as Whiskey?
God.
When I reincarnate,
I'm going to reincarnate as masturbating.
Reincarnating over and over
and over again.
Remember.
Oh, there goes splattering up against the wall again.
Yeah. Remember, our pets guide us and help us in different ways. Remember Oh there goes Splattering up Against the wall again Yeah
Remember
Our pets guide us
And help us
In different ways
Like all animals
Yeah like all animals
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out
Peace out Thank you for explaining I am sorry I didn't think you were serious with your post That's your dream angel again, you motherfucker. Most interesting.
Thank you for explaining.
I am sorry.
I didn't think you were serious with your post.
You know, because sometimes, once in a great while, we get some bullshit on here.
We gotta weed those out, otherwise they'll make fun of the spiritual forums.
I can't tell this bullshit from the other bullshit.
What gives?
It's a melting pot of bullshit. Yes, animal
guides. Period.
Good sentence.
Say yes, say I'm a soul
whisperer. I'm
Portuguese, plus 98 times.
Ever since I was 15 years
old, I became attached
to black cats.
Physically. You leased themselves.
In a period of my teenage years
where I was having trouble at school,
I lost a few years of school
because of the
difficult relationship I had with other
colleagues.
Colleagues?
There was a beautiful
black and white cat in my backyard.
She gave birth several
times, and one...
What? And one day, I had
an instant connection with a black newborn
she had. I took him home
with just one month old.
I took him home with
just one month old. Okay, great.
He had... He took him home
with the baby that he had.
He had green eyes, an
almost enchanting look, fur and body.
It almost seemed like he could mesmerize people just by being himself.
Like, he would put a spell on people when he walked around the house.
He moved around like he was so sure of himself.
I think we covered that in a previous episode.
That was walk around the house spell.
Always confident.
Never afraid of anyone.
Unlike most cats.
He was arrogant
and emotionally distant.
I felt safe around him
and treated him like he was made
of glass. You know what I mean?
I throw him
around in the backyard.
He died one year later, apparently hit on the road. We'll never know
for sure.
Oh my god!
How wouldn't you know?
Like, what?
We'll never know for sure.
He left a suicide note, but...
Well, let's
see. There's a flat cat in the middle of the stream with tire treads on it.
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
This is obviously a false flag operation.
I think he had a heart attack.
He was hanging out with old dirty bastard.
He was of great comfort and gave me courage in a troubled period of my life.
Since then, cats have been a constant presence in my life, especially black cats.
I don't know if this helps or is completely related to the subject, but I felt like contributing.
That actually might be part of her signature.
Hi, I'm CJ82Sky.
What's up?
I'm CJ82Sky. Hey, where are you located? Hey, that! What's up? I'm CJ82Sky!
Hey, where are you located?
I'm the Northern Mountains of New Jersey.
Okay.
Where are all the dragons sitting around?
I'm pretty sure my one cat,
Corey, was my sister
in a past life.
Wait.
My one...
So Corey was your...
My sister.
Which one is alive?
I don't understand.
They're both alive.
I'm trying to parse that, too.
They're both alive.
They're sharing the same soul.
And money.
But the cat was my sister before it was cat.
His parents adopted a cat, and they liked him better.
My sister, I think, is a cat. His parents adopted a cat, and they liked him better. And now my sister, I think, is my cat.
This is the weirdest Stephen King story I've ever read.
This one takes place in the northern mountains of Maine.
This is like one of those, like,
I can't treat this patient, he's my son type things
that nobody ever finished.
It's like The answer,
I need one more piece of information to actually solve this.
Okay, so we're going to
move on here
to another thread.
And
Stog, will you tell me something
about your daughter?
Hello?
My name is PaperTiger. What's your rank?
I have 29 posts, but don't count me out because I'm a seeker.
Yeah.
And I just wanted to say, my daughter is my mother.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Thanks.
Thanks, Ray Stephens.
My daughter is my mother, and I just ran out of whiskey.
Which episodes of Honey Boo Boo are you on?
They come go gonna have sex
with my truck.
On the old dirt road.
Anyway, go on.
Yeah, go on with the song,
please.
When I was about
three years old, my daughter from my
most recent past life, a child
I was born with, memories of,
tracked me down and found me.
Yep.
What?
Yep.
My biological mother was never a mother to me
and left the family when I was five,
so my daughter, Masua,
took on the role as my new mother.
Oh, my God.
In my mind, at least.
Oh, my God.
Hey.
That's not okay.
I hope this ends with the police.
She was 24 when I died, and when she found me was 29.
Wait.
Yep.
Okay.
Move on.
Move on.
Fuck it.
This wasn't a big deal regarding role reversal, but later as I was able to access more memories,
it did become a little weird. Little weird. It became a little weird. Yeah. memories, it did become a little weird.
A little weird.
It became a little weird.
Yeah, okay.
It did become a little weird.
It remains a little weird.
She would tell me stories about myself
and the work I was doing,
and I would train her to finish my work
as a metaphysicist.
What kind of training is there for that?
Yeah.
What do you do all day?
Get high?
A metaphysicist pours nothing into a beaker
and then pulls up a notepad and writes
observation. There's nothing
really there, man.
It takes an awful lot of work
to be able to read a metaphysical protractor.
And returned
taught my most what I know
on the subject in practice.
I was able to retrieve more
memories about her and confirm her stories.
When she first met me,
she asked me a question that only her
father could have known,
and obviously got it right.
Obviously.
Are you my dad?
Yeah.
Whoa!
What did my father smoke?
Mikey Strikes.
Oh, shit.
I remember adopting her and raising her until my death.
I thought that this was an interesting experience.
and raising her till my death.
I thought that this was an interesting experience. I thought I would
share and make a thread to allow others
to share
and talk about similar experiences.
Is there a statute
of limitations for child support?
Like, if it's
three lives ago, you no longer have
to pay for your children's
upbringing.
I honestly, I got a level.
I honestly have no idea what any of that
said.
This is weird.
I honestly cannot parse that at all.
Kimmy here, in a past
life, had a daughter.
Okay.
In Kimmy's past life,
Kimmy's past life died.
And then Kimmy was born. And then this same daughter raised Kimmy's past life died. Right. And then Kimmy was born.
And then this same daughter raised Kimmy.
Okay.
Now explain Primer to me.
John, you are nameless.
And where are you located again?
I forget.
I'm located in Happily Ever After.
Oh, shit. You too?
Comic strip?
Do you know Jay?
Are you some kind of princess or something?
I'm probably in that stupid fucking sitcom
about fairy tale characters or something.
Anyways.
I don't remember any past lives,
nor do I particularly want to,
but my children do and have informed me.
I was my daughter's friend in one life,
and my daughter was my mother
in a past life, which makes sense to me.
She's always been so bossy.
Bossy?
Bossy!
Bossy!
I want to see that bossy!
Show it to me!
Let me see your boss.
Hey, we want some boss.
Pop that boss and let me see your... Oh, sorry.
Okay, keep going.
No, no, no, no.
Please, that boss got no mouse.
Boss got no mouse.
All right, all right, all right.
Lick my boss's ass.
My boss can be yankin'.
We can literally do this for an hour. Yeah, we will. Lick my bossy hand We can literally do this for an hour
Yeah, we will
Lick my bossy just like that
My son
Sorry
No more, no more
No, we have to
Okay, okay, okay
My son says
I was his little sister in one of his past lives
And he explained it in great detail to me one day
Which explains a lot about our relationship
Hey, Mom, how come you have no maternal instincts?
That's my past life, bitch
Okay, good enough
Fuck you
I think we tend to come in in groups
And that has always been confirmed by a guide I was chatting to only day.
Not my guide.
Someone else was channeling for me.
Why are there always two degrees of separation from being yourself?
All right, so I got a friend.
Who had a friend in the past life?
People are so vague about the wise people they talk to.
The person I was like, somebody very wise and knowledgeable, they said...
I call him God, you know.
It was hard to hear him over the cup he was jingling full of change.
It's Adam Carolla.
Sounds like Mark Cuban.
So you were your sister in a past life
Now what did he call them?
Something like soul families
Happy things
They can be your actual family members
Or friends, or your boss
Etc, people close to you
And he says once you meet someone
They become part of your extended soul family.
Interesting stuff.
Oh, so basically it's a social network.
Hey Boots, by which I mean Belle,
can you relate
to this person who thinks that
her daughter is her mother?
Yes!
Yes!
I'm sorry, do you have any purses for sale?
Yes!
Okay.
And you say you don't do voices.
Yeah, I can do a single word of Frank Nelson.
Indeed, I used to be my mother's mother.
No, you go to your room!
No, you go to your room! No, you go to your room!
I'm not sure whether she is my mother in order to eek revenge.
What? Eek?
I don't want revenge!
Or in order to show me how to mother, not very well, or to be my most precious teacher,
as she loves me so very, very much
that she is teaching me the hardest of lessons.
So, it seems to me,
the dynamics are awkward.
I agree that we find people from our past lives
over and over again
to build and grow or learn from mistakes.
So on.
Oh, you expect to see something and then you see it all the time.
It's interesting.
Yes.
That's interesting.
You can do better than that, Boots.
Come on, more.
I can't.
Give me another yes.
Hey, Astog.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
It comes out now.
Paper Tiger, the post at the bottom of the page here
is longer than it needs to be.
So would you just start off with
now as far as past life memory?
Now as far as past life memory?
You smell cake.
Who did I have this cake with?
Whom did I have this cake with. Who did I have this cake with? Whom did I have this cake with?
Who did I have this cake with?
Oh, right.
He was, I don't know that person or this place, so do I.
This is not my beautiful wife.
This is not my beautiful house.
This is the phenomenon I see
and presently had with this.
I would observe something
and an association to something
that I know I haven't
expranced comes to mind.
Yeah, you don't have any expurances.
Expranced.
Don't eat that cheese, it's expranced.
Yeah.
Your brain wants to give you a visual sense, but a few of this happened.
A few of this happened.
A few of this happened.
This memory doesn't originate from the hippocampus, and you brain leave it out.
Sure.
Science.
Sure.
Science.
You may have been a being that his or her senses aren't quite the same and your brain leave it out.
Oh, that made way more sense.
This is a poem.
He's rhyming and your brain leave it out.
Or does it sit best to interpret what it is receiving and give you something that is resonable.
What I mean here is that I have heard people tell me that they remember
the 14th century Earth, but
the grass was black. Something resonable means
I don't need it.
How can you spell hippocampus correctly
and get all of these other words wrong?
Because that's the one that she googled.
Okay, I should have known.
She actually was trying to spell hippopotamus.
I mean, that's what she said.
Wow, you got it way wrong.
Not necessarily.
There was something about the grass
that you didn't either pay attention to
or was misinterpreted.
Sure, right?
This was how it was for me
before Masua taught me how to meditate
and observe the memories directly
from the soul, so
there would be a misinterpretation
and the memory would be clear.
Jesus!
I'm with you so far.
Everything's clear to me.
Sorry, I've been writing
songs and drinking. I don't have time
to do all this.
Oh, this is Carly Simon. A hippopotamus vomited a life into Sorry, I've been writing songs and drinking. I don't have time to do all this. No, no, no. No, no, no.
Oh, this is Carly Simon.
A hippopotamus vomited a life into your head, and now you remember it.
Yeah, something about a daughter.
I learned this thing called multitasking from lifehacker.org,
and I think it's going great for me.
Not everyone has these difficulties,
and not everyone has the ability
to view past life.
Not because you don't have them.
You say that you've been
evioting it might not be a bad idea.
Though I'm grateful
for the memories I have.
It is a burden.
I am grateful.
Yeah, I am great
spaceful.
I am grateful. Yeah, I am great space-full.
I am grateful.
And full.
You gotta watch out for those.
And I have an air burden.
Don't let those burdens get into your socks.
It's gonna sting like a sub.
Keep them in the den where they belong.
I'm 18 years old on this earth and have clear memories of over 200 years in another galaxy
you don't have clear memories of what you are
right now at 18 years old
that is true these mint
juleps are something else
I have
memories of friends
and loved ones that are dead
I have memories of killing mad people
of doing horrible and beautiful
things I not try to detour you but be aware of this fact I have memories of killing mad people, of doing horrible and beautiful things.
I'm not trying to detour you, but be aware of this fact.
And what I recommend is to keep personal memories alone.
With love, Kimmy.
Okay.
Thanks, Kimmy.
Fuck. Jesus Christ.
Well, Kimmy, you broke English. You killed it.
How did you do... How do you get along...
How do you get along on this earth thinking that that's how the English language works?
Hey, Boots.
Will you tell me about your certain sexual taste?
Oh, here we go.
Here come the fetishes.
Oh, boy.
No, this actually isn't a fetish one yet.
Oh, okay.
Yet.
Yet. Yeah. Hi, this actually isn't a fetish one yet. Oh, okay. Yet. Yet.
Yeah.
Hi, I'm Mayu Yiro.
Hey, Boots, it's you.
Oh, hey.
It's me, Mayu Yiro.
Okay.
Reincarnation, karma, and a certain sexual taste.
You're getting really good at the boots voice.
Oh, Kermie, thank you.
Yeah, you're doing pretty good boots.
Yeah.
With practice, you can take that pro.
I hang out with boots every day.
Yeah.
I even jerk them off.
I know that it is something embarrassing to say, but even though I consider myself a normal
But even though I consider myself a normal heterosexual male with a lot of interest in the opposite sex, I have been...
Keep going. Stick with your moods. Reboot yourself.
We're going on a fun vocal journey. It's a winding road.
My voice is deteriorating because of it.
A lot of interest in the opposite sex.
Wow.
That was a huge change right there.
I know.
I can't do it anymore.
Well, to be fair, this is the best British accent we've had on the show.
I have always been interested in or obsessed with post-op transsexuals slash ladyboys.
You're never going to voice a cartoon kangaroo without boots.
Oh, no.
This isn't my fault.
It's my past life's fault.
That guy's a pervert.
Exactly.
I like them as much as regular girls, or perhaps even more.
Okay, just fucking out with it, man. From a karmic perspective, what's the most likely cause for this certain sexual taste I have?
How does it relate to previous lives?
You want to suck a dick.
What does fucking a ladyboy have to do with karma?
Oh, you must have beaten the shit out of a lot of transsexual ladyboys back in the day.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't post-op mean, like, you're done, you are the sex you want to be?
I mean, isn't, like...
Yeah, but you've still got a pretty good jaw.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know.
Post-op transsexuals.
Meaning, post-op transsexuals is really just a way of meaning no homo. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. Post-op transsexuals. That's my biscuits. Post-op transsexuals is really just a way of meaning no homo.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Gotcha.
I gotcha.
Bunnybread, you are Toby.
Yeah, my.
Moderator of the site.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I'm a good! I. Holy shit. I'm awake now.
Oh boy.
Hey!
Oh god, it's Toby.
My name's Toby!
Yeah!
Nobody look at me.
Toby with an I.
Everybody secure your belts.
Yeah.
Did you invite Toby?
Shit, yeah!
I invited Toby, you motherfuckers!
How's he keep knowing about our party?
Toby fought in the Vietnam War.
He can go anywhere he wants.
Where's the gin?
Point me to the gin and the bitches.
He had to throw the ice trays last time he was here.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
So here we go.
I don't know how it relates comically, right?
But sexuality, you know, can be a lot more flexible than many people think it is.
And some of these ladyboys, you know, they're stunningly fucking charming.
And good looking, you know.
Like that RuPaul, you know.
Yeah, yeah, charming.
That's the word I'd use.
Yeah.
Young.
Modest.
A good singer.
Those are all words I'd use for RuPaul.
Yeah.
All right. Okay. a good singer those are all words i'd use for rupaul yeah all right okay so is it possible to discuss your sexual feelings with your significant other so uh i'm assuming you have
one i'm not i'm not saying you're alone and desperate pathetic so in that case there is
nothing to feel uneasy about you know not everyone is ready to be wide open with their sexuality.
You know what I mean?
Spread those cheeks.
With boner wide open.
On the river song wide.
Or that of their partners.
But surprisingly, some people, thumbs point to me, are.
Wink!
Fucking wink!
Thank you, Jon Stewart's De Niro impression.
Hey, yo! Hey, yo! Hey, yo!
Hey, I'm just saying.
Um...
And then, last one on this one.
John, take Abedalia.
That might be...
Abelita?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mr. Abelita, Mr. Bob Abelita.
Mr. Abelita, Mr. Bob Abelita.
Mr. Abelita, Mr. John Abelita.
Hi, I'm Abelita.
Hey.
Perhaps in a past life,
you learned to appreciate the
unconventional instead of
viewing an unconventional
aspect as automatically out of harmony
ugly or dangerous
perhaps
a past life of yours
was full of polarized
contradictions and counterpoints
and you pledged to seek
always a middle way
so those
in the middle
of any two
given points
became attractive to you
because they seemed to be in agreement with
one of your core values.
Oh, that makes sense.
That's a lot of words. Who are you gonna fuck?
Clock's ticking. Yeah, because being
attracted to one gender or another is
just being fucking polemic.
Yeah.
Or it could be anything, and actually
the ones I mentioned could
even have happened in this life.
It could be inside the house.
Oh, sorry. You were done. Oh, yeah, sorry.
You were done.
Oh, yeah.
That's all I had to say on the matter.
One time you saw something blue instead of something red,
and then your karma was like,
he wants to fuck ladyboys now.
Yeah, that's how my karma works.
I'm Blaze of the Water.
Oh, Jesus.
I'm looking for past life answers, please.
Blaze of the Water.
Okay, so a couple things.
First of all, posted 14 times.
My rank is Newbie Winky Face.
Anyway.
I'm a newbie, Winky Face.
I'm looking for past life answers, please. Okay, first of all, my soul is immortal. I'm a newbie, winky face. I'm looking for past life answers, please.
Okay, first of all, my soul is immortal.
I know that.
I think my true age is around the 516 region.
Right.
That number feels right.
Yeah, around that number feels right.
I'd just like to point out to the listener,
because if they're reading along, they won't see that Lemon is reading this in a centered text voice.
Yep, that is a centered text voice.
I think that, did that not come through?
I'm sorry.
I'll have to work on my centered text voice. Sorry, I'm not giving enough credit to the listener.
Anyway, I have always known I had been reborn even as a young child why me i am a child
of the moon the darkness speaks to me literally oh sure i am turn the fucking light on
turn the light on now so you're the only one that can hear me i'm yelling everybody
hi hi i'm a pretty mediocre game for the Xbox.
How's it going?
He's trying to get to that joke, too.
Good joke.
Mike Patton's in me.
He's a voice.
Mike Patton's in everyone.
And he says, let me out!
I'm based on an image comic, I think.
All right, goodbye.
So why does it want... What the fuck was my voice?
Oh, yeah.
Why does it want... What the fuck was my voice? Oh, yeah. Why does it want me?
Sometimes I get an overwhelming feeling of manipulation or power of some sort.
It really is a unique feeling.
Anyone know anything?
That's my question.
Goodbye.
Oh, shit.
Nobody knows nothing.
Anyone know anything?
My God.
You're that one creationist, aren't you?
Really?
I don't know if it's ever been said're that one creationist, aren't you? Really?
I don't know if it's ever been said before,
but what the bleep do we know?
Oh, god, that's what I was going to say.
Also, I believe
if I was ever an animal in any past
lives, it would be a gray wolf,
which is capitalized, because
I've always had a strong connection.
You have had a strong connection
A strong connection to the D&D
Monster Manual
Not by the hair of my
chinny chin chin
Okay, I'm Christian
This is my first time on this site
and I'm having a hard time
meditating. By the way, this is other useful
info. I can never get time or peace.
The only meditating I've done
would be elemental meditation.
Okay.
Because I'm training to become an energy manipulator
and healer with water,
parentheses, my natural element,
parentheses.
Oh, just how Christian do you think you are?
Yeah, that's really the question I'm trying to answer.
He wants to be a level 7 Jesus.
Okay.
I mean, I guess some Unitarians probably call themselves Christians.
Anyway.
The moon is a huge guiding source for me, and my spirit guide, capitalized,
totem animal, parentheses, also capitalized,
is a wolf, weirdly, capitalized, totem animal, parentheses, also capitalized, is a wolf, weirdly not capitalized, either gray capitalized or timber capitalized.
I do see visions of me and my friends in past lives and dreams, visions, memories of this life, etc.
I can always see myself.
No, I am not trolling.
I'm even posting this on a spiritual forum.
Also, please call call me Blaze!
Smiley face. Well, it's a good thing you told us you're not trolling, because I thought you
I would have thought you were.
No, I'm just this dumb.
Glad you said to call you Blaze.
I would have called you Mr. of the Water for the rest of the...
So, visions
of you and your friends and past lives,
and they include you. So, not only
does your karma have Instagram,
but you take selfies. That's great.
So,
Quagmire. Who was Quagmire last time?
Bunnybread.
Take the, not the first post by
Quagmire, but the...
Nope. Not even that one.
It's the one that starts
Something Confuses Me. They're enumerated on the right.
Ah, number eight.
Well, hey!
That's right, you're goofy. I forgot.
Something Confuses Me?
And I am not really getting a clear image of it.
Oh, Disney's not going to like this.
I can see you was older than 516.
You look no...
Oh, shit.
But still, see, the 516 is a number of significance.
So I will just go with my intuition.
So if something does not resonate, then just let it be.
It's a SAT score.
So maybe your past life was somebody that had an area code in Long Island.
Could be.
Yes.
That's it.
We solved the mystery.
Okay, we're done.
He was trying to write down the band 311, but was really bad at numbers.
There's another number, and I think it was a one in the middle.
Hey, this three looks like a butt.
I'll just do a 5.
Stog, by the way, is the F-plus accountant.
Ladies and gentlemen, that's a thought this dog's actually had.
There is some animal nature that seems to go far back.
Why is that, Cunning?
Like me!
Yeah.
The 516 seems to, on one hand, lead me to the geants.
Geats.
Golly.
And on the other hand, 16th century Ireland.
You know.
Nature is strong.
There we go.
Sure.
It's on its own.
Sure.
Nature is strong. Nature subscri go. Sure. Nature is strong.
Nature subscribes to bodybuilding magazines.
Nature does roids.
Maybe an old wife
think that is the expression.
It is similar to cunning man.
Some might use it.
There's lots of contact jugglers at Cunning Man.
That is the word of Cunning Man.
Some might use the word witch, yet it does not seem fitting.
That's it.
Fuck it.
Goofy's had enough.
Goofy's going home.
This is too much bullshit.
Rave at me!
So Quagmire and Blaze of the Water go back and forth for a long time.
Quagmire is not sold on Blaze of the Water having a wolf form.
Blaze of the Water tries to convince him,
and one of the things that he says to try to convince him is this on the beginning of page two.
I do have some properties of a wolf-like creature. And one of the things that he says to try to convince him is this on the beginning of page two.
I do have some properties of a wolf-like creature.
First of all, I have two moods.
Number one, always hungry.
Okay.
Right?
That's mood number one, always hungry.
Then there's mood number two, I ate so much, my stomach is killing me.
That's not another mood.
That's a consequence.
No, it's a mood.
Like, he hasn't actually eaten that much,
and his stomach is killing him.
He just feels like it.
Oh, okay.
Is Pfizer making any drugs for that yet?
Being hungry?
No, for feeling like you're full.
Like I said, the moon is a huge guiding source for me, especially being an energy manipulator
in water. I can't post links, but
Google Earth Flame Water if you're
interested.
Alright.
Wait, I have more instructions for you.
Google Earth Flame Water and Earth Flame
Water. Earth Flame is one word. Second word
is water. If you're interested one word. Second word is water.
If you're interested, and click on the first webs link.
Webs. Is that what they're saying?
He's just tricking people into buying his self-published shitty fantasy stories.
Look, seeing as how water is related to blood and people have come up with the deadly technique of controlling blood,
I naturally have a connection with blood even if I don't want to.
On the bright side, I assume it makes me a better healer
that's what I assume
I like how frequently on this site
like people
just make the slightest
nod towards
saying somebody's full of shit.
But basically, if you
type enough words, they'll just back off.
Yeah. Alright, so
I googled Earth, Flame, Water, and most of the results
are just Yahoo Answers questions for people
trying to do in real life
what they do in the Avatar
The Last Airbender cartoon.
Okay.
I thought Earth, Flame, Water was like a really
shitty cover band. Taking
cosplay to the next level.
Oh, ha, ha, ha, dee, ho. I was
in October.
It's Earth, Flame, Water.
Yes.
Alright. Pretty good, right?
Alright.
That's an awkward moment to continue from.
Wait, now we need a thanks John jingle.
Ooh.
All right.
I'm not paying ten bucks for that.
All right.
So this thread is called Your Non-Earth Past Lives.
John, if you'll start us off here with Elder Flame.
Alright.
Just because you're English doesn't mean
that has to dictate how you read it.
Oh, he's English. Oh, well.
Let's pretend it's not there, then.
I'm out.
In my non-Earth lives
in this universe,
I... Oh my god!
Stalker, are you teaching him accents?
Don't you want to hear
what I was in a past life?
I'm peeing into a button!
Apples and pears.
Three amphibian creatures.
Four reptilians.
Five non-Earth humans.
Seven Lumeria.
That's a fiery creature.
Oh, yes, Jesus.
Seventeen of a weird species called Foghill.
Okay, question mark, question mark.
There's one other frog creature that is somewhat different from the other three amphibians.
By the way, there's a note here in the document.
Cheapskate put this thing together.
And by the way, thanks, Cheapskate, for that.
But there's a note here from Cheapskate that the weird creatures, the Fargill, that's a species from the Star Wars universe.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Fantastic.
It's from across the pond, as it were.
Congratulations being
17 of those, question mark, question mark.
Well, let me start
over then from that.
Across the pond, and a long, long
time ago.
Oh.
No, that's Star Wars.
Star Trek is in the future.
I said Star Wars.
No, this is Star Wars. Well, is in the future. I said Star Wars. No, this is Star Wars.
Well, I can't hear very well over my accent.
Oh, fair enough.
It does echo.
What are they going to do, Darth Thatcher?
That's not bad, actually.
The Iron Lady 2.
Yeah.
The islands are mine and I want them back.
Okay.
Well, there was one other frog creature
that is somewhat different from the other three amphibians.
Sure.
There are 30 odd species.
So odd species.
There are loads more unspecified by knowledge.
And there are thousands of astral entities.
Unspecified by knowledge is my favorite grouping of words so far.
It's my favorite BBC documentary.
Unspecified by knowledge by Philomena Cunk.
Yeah, it's just Admiral Shruggin' His Shoulders going, oh.
Well, now, in comparison to the past life of my
Earth lives, there is
one female human entity.
Boring!
1,524
reptilians,
approximately.
Approximately 1,524.
I say that as an approximately.
There's 1,524.12.
Yeah, I was just going to say 1,524. There's 1,524.12. Yeah, there's
1,523.7.
I'll say 500 can a day.
A prox.
508 to 4 fel a day.
So no prox?
You were dead on with this one.
Totally kept track of all the different cats.
There are
70 bee fleas, approximately.
You've got 70 billion fleas!
Maybe that's...
No, it's hexadecimal.
He said it's 70 and 12 fleas.
I was trying to make that joke,
but I couldn't think of the hexadecimal for bee.
Thank you.
Holy shit!
Oh my god!
You motherfuckers just heard a hexadecimal joke.
Two.
Two different people were jumping to try and be the first one to make hexadecimal.
Yeah, they were rushing against each other to try to make the same hexadecimal joke.
Why am I the nerdiest?
Why?
Oh, he tripped me with his protractor.
I just like to point out, since somebody in the forum is going to mention it, that B is 11.
Oh!
Oh, and Boots is the nerdiest.
He is your nerd king.
Bow down.
Suck his dick, which also has glasses on it.
And Lemon is our resident nerd shamer.
All right, finish this up.
All right, so there's 700 fish, 500 different types, a prox,
and several Roman warhorses.
Sure, several.
Probably thousands of other lives
in different dreams
or universe.
Peace grommet.
Yeah, peace grommet.
Peace grommet.
Boots, you are Sangress?
S-A-N-G-R-E-S-S.
Yes, I am.
I am the queen of Sangria.
I am a master.
How many times have you posted?
2,144.
How many in past lives, though?
Wait, do these forum accounts carry over?
Yeah, they probably do.
I didn't think about that.
Yeah, I keep my password in my chakra.
Yeah, chakra password.
It's popular service.
Okay, so tell me about your past life experience.
I've only ever been in human skins.
Although I know.
I'm Ed Gein, by the way.
Although I'm leading
a second life right now in an alien
body as well, as in this one.
Does that count, even though
it's not past? Nope.
Past life of great big fat person?
Nope. Nothing that ever
has happened in second life ever counts.
No, no, no. Not in second life.
In a second life.
Oh. Wait. I'm leading a second life right now.
I'm also...
Like he's dual solely.
He's really a good multitasker.
What the...
I'm a guy on the internet, and I'm also an alien in an alien body.
I'm a guy in an alien body, maybe.
Yeah.
Does that count?
No.
Yeah.
No.
That's fucking nonsense.
Oh, this. This is fucking nonsense. All No. Yeah. No. That's fucking nonsense. Oh, this.
This is fucking nonsense.
All right.
Okay.
Can I get a second opinion?
All right.
Second opinion.
It's fucking also nonsense.
Stug, does this count?
Maybe.
Okay.
I'll take that as a yes.
Okay. Okay, so Henri77
Bunnybird, if you'd like that for me, please
Hello
I am Henri77
Where are you located?
Minnesota
You can tell
Albion
It's not 77, it's Catra You gotta tone that down located. Minnesota! You can tell. Ambien!
It's not 77, it's Catra, but it's set.
You gotta tone that down a little bit.
Ah, me oui.
Well,
I must say, I have never
seen a post anything like
this. Would you care
to share your source of information?
I am sure
we're all very curious.
Sincerely, how
you came to this knowledge?
If it's a secret,
that's cool. But give it
to me, you fucker.
Then his bow tie spins so hard he flies away.
Alright, so...
I'm sorry, it's a secret.
So you're calling Elder Flameout
for being
you know, a little dubious
like you're not calling him bullshit, but you're saying
I wonder what the source of that is
and so then you have a follow-up post
immediately after that
Oh, this is blue
I recall
a teacher describing
the forms
of Syriac
that he communicated
with telepathic lay.
Oh, somewhat.
Oh, there's red.
I'm somewhat curious
about my priority lives
but haven't had the nerve
to look just yet
what form it was.
Kill, Henry77.
Kill, it's red.
All right.
And then finishing this one up
with the last post on the bottom there,
post number 10 by Sangris.
Since it's viable,
I might as well mention what my other body is like.
Sure, you might as well.
Yeah.
If you don't like long-winded descriptions,
then stop reading here.
Oh, boy!
Oh, boy!
In for a penny, in for a pound, I suppose.
It's a monotreme.
Mostly avian, with some reptile
and a million characteristics.
Hence the monotreme part.
So you're a platypus.
What does that mean?
You're a thing.
What does that word mean? I forget what the word means, but a platypus. What does that mean? You're a thing. What does that word mean?
I forget what the word means, but a platypus is a monotreme.
It's a thing with only one treme.
She's only watched the HBO show Treme once.
Oh, I'm a monotreme!
I'm a monotreme!
Oh, it means a mammal that has a cloaca.
By the way, hyportex.
Hyportex!
Yay! It means a mammal that has a cloaca. By the way, hyportex. Hyportex!
Primarily a quadruped,
but can move on two legs as well.
Roughly nine feet long and anywhere between five and six feet tall
when it's on all fours.
Has wings with a fleshy membrane
used for threat displays
and gliding.
Not true flight.
Talons and hide is covered
in the same scale-like texture you'd find
on an ostrich or an emu legs.
Poison spurs,
horns, feathery growths,
and some featherless spines on the neck and head.
No beak.
Sensitive to vibrations,
to the ground and temperature changes,
like that of a reptile.
Has a tail that is used for balance
rather than for anything prehensile
and a very broad vocal range.
Carnivorous.
Very light
and can run long distance
at very hefty speeds.
Did you forget that you're not posting on Furcadia?
That's about all I got as far as
what I'm incarnated as.
So you were the missing link then.
So you're currently a platypus?
Well, I can't tell what color it is.
What?
Because the body has three different sets of eyelids.
What?
The inner two close sideways, and each variation of them gives a different set of color vision.
Oh, so he's the predator.
Very long dreadlocks.
I told you, I'm a monotree, mostly avian with some reptile.
Oh, okay.
Jesus.
Yeah, you got a vagina on your face.
We got it.
We got it.
Okay.
All right.
So if you take a biology class at a community college, expect this as your teacher.
Okay, so we're wrapping it up here.
I just wanted to say briefly that document that we're looking at here, again, cheapskate over provider.
I can't say that enough.
So I'm scrolling through the document, and as I'm just kind of like just glancing at it, it's like oh, you know, dreams
chakras, healing
Hitler, Hitler, Hitler
Wait, what?
Yeah, there's
suddenly a huge long
post about Auschwitz
Oh, we thought you had two words
No, no
we're not going. That's not
something we're reading. I just want you to
know, if you go to thefpl.us
and read the document,
you can try to figure out
how this past life
thread ends up talking
about World War II and Auschwitz
a lot.
But that's not where we're going. We're going
to one of these two places.
John, I'll let you choose where we go here.
So your two options are
Superman and Life Agreements.
Huh?
Our post starts out, I was just
re-watching Superman 2 and again thought
about Christopher Reeve's very unusual life journey.
The other post
is entitled Eye-Opening Facts
About Soul Exchanges. Huh? Superman. Hmm. The other post is entitled Eye-opening facts about soul exchanges
Huh
Superman
Hmm
I don't know
Penis, penis, penis
Neither of these are really explicitly sexual
So I don't know what to do
Alright, gotta take a pick, come on
Flip a coin, whatever you want
Let's go with soul exchanges
Soul exchanges it is Which is, which is great
because I didn't want to hear a Soulja Boy joke.
Alright, terrific.
So this is...
You were like, oh, I'm going to make a Soulja Boy joke
because it's going to be awesome.
I don't know if you heard.
It's 2013, now the time is right.
It's not 2013, did you know that?
Did you know it's actually 2014?
Oh, shit.
No, no, no, no, no.
Canada's always behind the times when it comes to trends.
It's 2013 in Canadian.
I suppose, yeah, time zones are weird.
So this first post is quite long,
but if you will take...
Start off with...
You know what? Do the whole
thing. Shit.
Me? Wow. Yeah, yeah.
The way you said it was like a punishment.
You know what? Do the whole thing. You know what,
motherfucker? Oh, God, what did I do?
Okay. Tell me about soul exchanges,
you sumbitch!
Well, I am Lady Impreza 1111.
Alright, Lady Impreza 1.
No? Lady Impreza 11. No?
Lady Impreza 111. It's gotta be...
Oh my god.
It was Lady Impreza 0001? No.
Lady Impreza 0002? No.
Damn it.
I am a master
Master
Master of bullshit pulling your strings
Where's the dreams that I've been after master
That's actually the joke that'll get us sued
I'm located in Alaska and I have
1,780 posts
And I have some eye-opening facts about
soul exchanges. Terrific. Great.
Soul exchanges have been a phenomenon
that has fascinated me since I first
discovered this particular forum.
Now that I reflect back on my life, I have discovered
times when I was more than likely
a soul exchange myself.
Now, I know you're wondering what a soul exchange is.
No. It's like a
spin doctor's cover band.
Ooh. I was thinking more wondering what a soul exchange is. No. It's like a spin doctor's cover band. Ooh.
I was thinking more of a sort of asylum cover band.
Speaking of dated references.
It is actually spirits who have pointed out roughly about when it was,
which was mostly, I think, infancy of childhood.
Oh, good.
Okay.
Yeah.
Great.
Cool. Good job. Let, yeah, great, cool.
Good job. Let me take another spin at that.
It is actually spirits who have pointed out roughly about when it was
which was mostly, I think, infancy and childhood.
Nope, still not making sense.
Being totally out of touch with the massive family,
I didn't know existed until recently that have been scattered all over the country.
Frankenstein gangster computer god. I have learned
with telepathy alone how the very thing
that intrigued me is the same one
that has turned millions of lives
globally
upside down. So wait, he's just saying there's a
northern hemisphere and a southern hemisphere? That's
what he means, globally upside down?
Boy, maybe.
There are several reasons for soul exchanges.
Some are good, and others...
Not so much.
That was double ellipsis.
Others nap.
Time for my pre-writing nap.
Others fall asleep on the period...
Okay, not so much.
You've got to prepare yourself for this list.
Okay, so four
examples of good ones include
number one,
allowing people to see friends or
family they either might not be in contact
with or have never met, especially
when the likelihood of seeing
them soon is slim.
This would be a good idea with the trusted spirit
because your physical well-being
is essentially in their hands.
What?
Number two.
Switching places with a spirit
simply so they can enjoy the hobbies,
foods, etc. they loved when they were alive.
Oh, God.
Is this, like, multiple shit?
Maybe.
Sometimes... Just a line of a spirit. Like,, multiple shit? Maybe. Sometimes.
Just a line of a spirit, like, I really like masturbating.
Yeah, let's just...
Can I try that?
I'd like to feel some tits again.
Hey, Boots, can I try that?
Sure.
High five!
You know what?
Actually, never mind.
Sometimes they might also use the body as a vehicle to communicate with loved ones who
they have left behind.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
So this person...
I didn't know Whoopi Goldberg posted on this forum.
Eh, you know, she only works like two hours a day.
That's true.
If this is a temporary thing,
it can be a beneficial gift for both parties,
the living spirit and the one that transitioned.
If number two is combined with number one,
it is a win-win for both.
When it is right,
it honors the free will of the living spirit who is choosing to number one, it is a win-win for both. When it is right, it honors the free will of the
living spirit who is choosing to take part in it.
Okay.
Great.
That was number two. What's number three?
Number three of four.
You promised four.
Prepare to be disappointed.
Some soul exchanges can be
planned before birth.
I can think of one spirit who chose to be a permanent soul exchange.
He is one of my future children.
Oh, God.
Speaking of calling child services.
Yeah.
Listen, I don't know what this person is talking about, but it can't be good.
Yeah, it is my child, but it's also my uncle.
What?
Tell him, it is my child, but it's also my uncle. What? Tell him, it's okay.
Both he, the exchange, and those in his life are at peace with it.
Others have tried to talk him out of it, but he won't be deterred.
He is exercising his free will, and people just have to respect it.
Sure.
Yeah, the world has to change.
Alright, so that was number three.
I can't say I've heard of any other
long-term soul exchanges like that, but
this one just seems to be an exchange of one.
That is okay.
It's okay. Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
So that was number three.
So that was number three.
Number four.
Oh, you didn't make the stretch goal in your Kickstarter, right?
There isn't actually a number four.
But I do have another paragraph.
Oh, god damn it!
Some soul exchanges can either be demonic or interfere with someone's free will.
Sounds great.
Uh-huh.
Spirits alone have the ability
to literally shove an unwelcome spirit
out of a body.
No, I wouldn't be in a body!
God!
Also, I've seen ghosts.
Stop being such a body hog.
From what I hear,
it looks like cow tipping, and I always
wanted to do that.
Yeehaw!
What the fuck?
There's so many more words, and
I'm not learning, and
I do not understand.
Can we just skip to the summary paragraph, please?
Sure.
In closing, there are thousands
of people who might not be open to the spirit
world, but don't despair. Spirits globally are working in your best interest as well as people who are more aware of them to prevent the things I have listed from continuing.
Humanity as we know it will never again be the same.
We've gone through an epic revolution.
You want it all, but you can't have it.
You're never going to get your PhD with this post.
It's it.
What is it?
Hey, my name's Annie!
Annie!
My name's Annie!
This was very well illustrated,
smiley face!
Eternal love, Annie!
I'm Lady Impreza again
Thank you
A smiley face that is losing oxygen
Very quickly
It's purple
I want to actually add on a bit more
Really?
No you cannot
We all want that lady
I have a self published book coming out
I actually want to add on
a bit more, but that won't happen until later.
Okay.
I'd love to, if this were, if we had
visuals, I'd like to smash cut to never posts
again.
But that's not good, sadly.
I'm butterfly1111.
I needed to rephrase that.
I just want to say, I wanted to add
more, but if I do, it won't happen until later.
Aren't you glad I added that?
Oh, yeah.
I'm Butterfly1111.
I'm not related to
LadyImpresa1111.
But you are related to Jizz.
Don't prove it by my inability to say it.
I am blown away,
LadyImpresa.
LadyImpresa. When my first twin passed, inability to say it. I am blown away, Lady Improseza.
When my first twin
passed, I was visited by many
spirits, some nice,
some very scary.
The scary did threaten me
with they were going
to take my soul.
They terrorized
me for 56 days, then left.
I thought I was crazy that I imagined it all.
Then my twin came back to me and has been by my side watching me ever since.
See, it's not crazy.
Yay.
To hear another person speak of what happened, too, is amazing.
Yeah.
That is amazing, hearing someone speak.
Yeah.
I also want to say my experience caused me to do a lot of research.
Sure.
I do not believe one soul can just be taken.
If there is an exchange, it is part of one's contracts with other souls.
And it is done peacefully without fear.
And no harm comes to any of the souls involved.
It is lack of research that allows fear to take over.
Jesus Christ.
Are there spirits that take advantage
of that with hopes of scaring
the others and manipulating them?
A few bad souls ruin the whole bunch.
Yeah, perhaps.
Or are they really
helping to illuminate the person
so that they learn?
It's all what an individual makes of it.
That is free will. No one's soul
is ever truly in danger. God does watch individual makes of it. That is free will. No one's soul is ever truly in danger.
God does watch over all of us.
What the fuck are you talking about?
And is your jizz real smelly?
Boy.
I don't know the specific line that you want me to say there.
I never met an abortion I didn't like.
By the way, Butterfly...
From the forum designation, Butterfly1111
is a knower, not a shower.
Butterfly1111 is online right now.
Oh, good.
Anybody want to text him or her?
Let's shove that person's...
Let's shove Butterfly's soul right out of their body
Right now
Let's ask Butterfly1111 if she likes shitty panties
Okay so on to the
On the second page there
Post number 12
Stog you're Navwe
I'm Navwe
Navwe
Ho ho ho ho ho
Very scary indeed!
I will read the books you recommended for trying to overcome the fear.
Thanks again for your help, Butterfly!
Your help is greatly appreciated!
And then next post down.
You're welcome.
Also, read books by mediums.
Don't feed the fear.
Yeah.
Think good thoughts.
Yeah. Know you are in control of yourself.
Sing. Yes, sing.
Yes, sing.
Sing.
Sing for your god.
Then back to Stog.
I already read some of the older posts
in the thread, Common Questions About Life,
which is led by Spirit Guide Sparrow.
I was deeply inspired by him,
and his, in my interest in mediums,
was defiantly sparked.
Is that a sparrow who is a spirit guide,
or the spirit guide of a sparrow?
I don't fucking know.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
I know. My entire. Oh, man. Oh, man. I know.
My entire worldview is shot now.
I know that once I'm in control of myself because I'm new to the ways of the spiritual world,
I'm confused a lot due to the vast amount of information in this area.
I'm very grateful that I found SF as a great source of information in a community so kind, understanding, and helpful.
Thank you once more.
Yeah, I'm confused a lot because there's so much
information out there. It's information's
fault that I'm confused.
I'm getting in my brain.
Clogging it up with thoughts.
So, what do you think
we learned from all of this? None.
Nope.
I don't think these people
have learned anything. They talked an awful lot about
learning. Yeah.
But it's like somebody would just
spout a bunch of incomprehensible nonsense
and then other people would say,
oh, you've taught me oh so much
and this is my experience.
And it's something completely different.
Completely different.
Because nobody understands what anybody else is talking about.
Yeah, like, could you, like,
like, could you,
would you even have a real guess
as to what that soul exchange thing meant?
It seemed like,
That's one of those I read, right?
Like the Simpsons episode where
Bart buys Milhouse's soul.
That's what I was thinking going in.
Yeah, I got to the wrong way around, but sure.
I was thinking like a copy of Swapmate, but with souls.
But like, the more words, like every word that was added onto the sentence,
I got more confused.
Well, you see this kind of thing with religious stuff,
especially like theology-type discussions.
It's just, you know, because the thing is, if you have these discussions about things,
you don't even have, like, a basis.
Because, I mean, in philosophy, you have, like, a basis of thought and ways to go about it and, you know, whatever.
But with religion, it's just like there's no real basis, and it's all up to anyone's interpretation.
So you just have these long discussions and arguments about stuff that
you can't base it on anything. So it's just
can I yell my opinion
loud enough and make enough stuff fit
my opinion? This is like the extreme
version of that where there's absolutely, literally
nothing that's based
on anything. So it's just
my soul exchange for my daughter and now my dog
is my daughter. And then everybody's like
thanks!
Nor is anyone having the conversation because like like i would say that that you know in the years that we've done this podcast we've kind of ended up recognizing a few like forum archetypes
that exist like there's like kind of the angry teenager one uh and there's like the sort of like
fetish accelerant support group kind of one and then there's like the hug box one and and there's like the sort of like fetish accelerant slash support group kind of one
and then there's like the hug box one and then there's the hippie one and the hippie one
like as as booth said like there's there's there's no they just talk completely across each other
like so it's not it's not even that they're like living in a world and existing in this community
like they're on the forum because they a world and existing in this community.
Like, they're on the forum because they have, like, the specific interest, but it is whatever it is in their head.
And they're not, like, they're not, I mean, maybe, maybe that's the thing.
Maybe I don't have enough faith because it seems to me like they're not communicating.
But maybe that's me being small-minded and not recognizing the spirituality of their conversation.
Yeah, they're probably having soul text exchanges at this point.
So, you know.
If you're looking for people to have meaningful conversations with,
then there's a number of places you could go.
But one of them would be Ballpit.
That's B-L-P dot I-T.
It's got some members. and it's pretty fun.
What threads do you like these days?
Post a song
that's worse than the previous one.
Oh, that one's actually pretty fun.
Oh, yeah, the one about
favorite quotes from the F+.
As narcissistic as that may tend to be,
it was actually brought out from...
I was like, oh, yeah, those are pretty fun moments.
Yeah, I...
See if you can recognize them. I get maybe a third.
I had fewer.
It's good.
Not that I was counting.
Yeah, go to that place.
And thanks very much to
Cheapskate. You've been
really, like, really doing a
fucking great job with these documents.
They've been great. They've been too long, and that's a good thing.
And we are always looking for more.
So if you've never submitted a document before,
you can go to the website, get a little bit of a primer.
Ball Pit's got a great poster from Montreth to help you out with a submission.
Give it a shot, because we are always looking for fresh hell
that confuses us in new ways.
All right, bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. I tried to swear Exploit my relatives and neighbors
Said you aren't there
Tried the priests
I tried the maid
They tried to reach you
Sure I would crave
My friends are what I know
Hey, Ridiculous of the F+.
Just take a little moment here
and consider how you'd react to somebody in real life
if they said, please call me Blaze.
I'd say fuck you.
I would ask him if he has better weed than this.
Are you dankanking it?
I mean, if he was your drug dealer, that would be fine.
Okay, he's also contact juggler.
What?
Oh, well, then I've already hit him before he said that.
That's true.
Yeah, I slapped the goddamn little globes out of his hands at this point.
The moment Lemon sees him, his past life self is like, punch him, punch him.
It's like, why?
It's like, you'll see.
Just do it.
I'd get somebody to drive me down the street while he's walking on the sidewalk,
and I'd stick my head out of the window and slap him on the back of the head as I'm driving by.