The F Plus - 144: Knowledge Is A Disease, I Have The Cure
Episode Date: July 20, 2014The American medical apparatus is a frequenct source of discussion and consternation. We all want to be healthy and live long lives, but when for-profit institutions are supposed to help us with ...that goal, it's easy to get disillusioned. Lucky for us (and by us I mean the podcast), there's the eHealth forums. If you got a problem, and the only thing you're looking for is idiocy and crappy advice, boy do they ever provide. This week, The F Plus wants you to sniff our beer can.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Yeah, uh, how should I tell my current girlfriend that her vagina smells like poop?
Uh, she's a real good girlfriend, it's just I can't stand the smell.
And I just want to wrap a towel around my head and be looking like a Taliban. This is the F+, the internet's best resource for terrible things.
Red with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Rang here.
Sex Hurts Butt.
John Toast.
Let's call God Electricity, or maybe Neutron.
Adam Atom.
Eve Proton.
Victor Laszlo, M.D.
You can call him a rapist or a sperm donor or some bloke that got you drunk and took advantage of you,
but it turns out the name and mobile phone number he gave you were made up.
Jimmy Pranks!
Why do I feel horny all the time?
It's not normal for a woman.
And Lemon. He hits my G-spot
perfectly that I literally soak the bed,
but in the last few months, I'm not soaking the bed
anymore.
Yep, it's time to end
that relationship.
See you next time. Say you need it, say you need it, when you go.
Looking better, shining brighter, there you go.
Hey, F+.
Hey, Lennon.
Hi.
How are you doing?
Are you guys feeling healthy?
Yeah, barely.
I think.
I got a thing on my stuff.
Well, you know, I'm so glad that we got Victor here in the podcast.
We've hinted at it before in episodes, but Victor is a medical professional, occupational-wise.
That's the most awkward way to phrase that, I think.
I think I couldn't have phrased that worse.
He's a make-person-better
thing.
Anyway, so yeah,
so Victor is a medical professional
and sometimes
is, you know,
gives his advice on ball pit,
where you can use the Yay Victor tag
to make giant yay victor graphics
um but you know victor i wanted to take some of that onus off of you because i know that's
that like you know and you want to help but i know that people are coming to you sometimes
with medical questions you just want to jerk off and it's weird when people are walking in on you
jerking off hey look at the stink of my! If I had a nickel for every time that happened.
So we're going to go to the eHealth Forum.
The eHealth Forum is a question and answer website
where people can ask medical questions
and get answers.
Now notice the word medical was not in the answer.
All right, so
let's start off here.
This is
in Medical Questions
Women's Health Breast Forum.
My name is Dr. Question.
That's weird.
Maybe Dr. Question
Hello, Batman!
I'm Dr. Question!
Dr. Question's the Kmart Riddler.
So, yeah, my name's Dr. Question.
What medicine for making big breasts?
Oh, off to a rolling start.
Yeah.
So let's go straight to the professional here.
Victor, you'll be Dr. Coquille Mother.
You're an MD.
Hi, and thanks for your query on eHealth Forum.
There is no medication to increase breast size.
You can do so by doing exercises to increase the size of chest muscles.
Other than this, if your weight is on lower side,
you can increase your food intake to allow some fat to deposit in breast also.
to allow some fat to deposit in breast also.
Ooh, that's... You should also consult a doctor to rule out diabetes,
hyperthyroidism, worms in stool,
and hormonal imbalance as the cause of small breasts.
Whoa, okay.
Jesus.
Jesus, lady.
I want to make my breasts bigger.
All right, first, do you have worms?
I kind of want to be a fly on the wall for that office visit.
I want big breasts. All right, well, look in your worms? I kind of want to be a fly on the wall for that office visit. I want big breasts.
All right, well, look in your poop.
If no medical problem is diagnosed, then maybe you have small breasts.
That's option five.
Maybe, just maybe.
There's a fucking flow chart for this.
Well, next on the flow chart, you can increase breast size by wearing padded bras.
But that's not what that does.
You can't fuck.
Take care.
You can't fuck you, doctor.
If I keep wearing these, my breasts will get larger.
Now listen, fuck you guys, because wearing padded bras is a way better answer than checking for worms in your stool.
Yeah, but it's the third answer.
First answer.
Yeah.
Jimmy Franks, you are chris estrada uh because you know this isn't a fucking like this isn't some sort of like oligarchy where like you know medical
professionals rule you know anyone can answer these goddamn questions so like dr coco math or
md whatever chris estrada has an answer that is more useful, I'm sure.
Here is the solution.
Without surgery, you can make breasts bigger.
You have to use boob pop, which helps to make boob bigger.
From the makers of beer gas, boob pop.
All right, so we're moving on here.
Completely different topic.
This topic is Husband Sucking Breast Milk, page one.
No, thank you.
Toast, if you'll start us off with Thrill Learner.
This is Thrill Learner.
Thrill Learner.
I recently discovered a new way to do away with engorgement. Thrill learner. I recently discovered a new way
to do away with engorgement.
Jerk off.
Yes, yep, that's it. Works for me.
I was producing
a lot of milk with my first child and
used a pump a lot to try and get a little
comfort when he didn't eat enough.
The pump always made my nipple
a little sore and it was terrible
when I was cracked.
With this baby, I was really worried.
She doesn't crack my nipples like my son did, at least not yet.
Crack that nipple! Crack that nipple! Crack that nipple! Boo-doo dance!
But I have had way more milk with her,
and it has been impossible to not feel like an overfilled water balloon waiting to explode.
Oh yeah, a fetishist didn't
write you as a character.
That's like
four episodes combined into one, just
in that sentence.
And then my husband came in with the
chocolate cake nozzle and I couldn't...
No.
My husband said
he wouldn't mind helping if I let him
And one night I was in such pain
And the pump broke
Grrr
That I let him suck on me
Oh wow
Yummo
Smiley face
Was it ever good
I thought it would be gross, but it was so sexy.
That's not the word I thought that would show up there.
It was so sexy, I thought I'd die.
Just the way he did it, too.
Gentle, but vigorous.
Almost like he's done it before.
As I type, it sounds nasty.
As I type, it sounds nasty to me, but it really does feel great.
And I don't feel at all bloated and pained
when he's done. So my question
is this. Oh, shit,
I have to invent a question at the end.
I need a cover story. Shit.
Okay. Are we really
perverted, or do other people
enjoy this sort of thing, too?
Yes and yes.
I read a study saying breast milk
cures cancer, among other things,
so it can't be bad for him. But is it a good
and normal thing? Or not so
much?
I'm going to go with not so much.
Well, come on. It was really sexy. Let me tell you about it again.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Boots, Boots, you're Ebi, E-B-I.
Ebi.
I am Ebi.
All male loves to have it, so let him all so enjoy it.
I don't think it will cause any harm.
And then, Victor, you are Ski Boat, Ski Boat 4.
Ski Boat 4.
Ski Boat 1 and 3 were already taken.
I just love how they're just normal,
stupid forum names.
That would turn me on to.
Don't know why I didn't think of that
when I engorged to the point that I thought
my breasts were going to explode.
Thanks for sharing.
I...
I mean, I don't have
first-hand experience
with having lactating
breasts, but I don't
feel like it's just sort of this weird problem
where it's like, ah, it's just all this milk!
It won't stop!
Cut it out!
Engorgement is...
That's a common problem,
but it's not usually to the point that
you have to have somebody literally suck it all out of you.
This man needs a pervert stat!
Victor, going by this site,
I don't know if I can trust you on that,
because your name isn't KevinJamesFan0123.
You don't know what my username is on this site.
Okay, fair enough, sorry.
I didn't mean to judge.
Hey, this is Drone B.
Hey, Drone!
What's up?
Hey, check ANRD Dayton.
There are a lot of people interested in adult nursing relationships.
Adult nursing is only perverted in the minds of intolerant people.
There's nothing in the Bible that says anything negative about the practice.
Who let you in here?
Some positive references to it
Doesn't mention anything about furries either
Okay no no no no
All of you guys right now need to go to anrdating.com
And just look at their front page
I don't need to I run a podcast that has listeners
And there's a listener submission process
I'll look at that site
Once somebody submits the document
Details on the podcast On the podcast I'll look at that site once somebody submits the document.
Details on the T-H-E-F-B-L dot U-S.
Nice.
Okay.
Boots, you need some help?
You're Strom?
I'm Strom.
Please help.
He says I smell like poop.
I'm married and only when I have sex doggy style with my hubby.
I've never been told this by anyone else before in my life.
Okay, so you're married only when you have doggy style sex?
No, and only when I have doggy style sex sex? No, and only when I have doggy-style sex.
That's when he tells me I smell like poop.
Yeah, I shower and I clean myself, so it has nothing to do with my hygiene.
Sometimes we have sex after I have stepped out of the shower, and apparently he tells me it has always been there, the smell.
Apparently, he tells me it has always been there, the smell.
Because of this, I haven't been able to bring myself to have sex that way with him anymore.
Is there something wrong with me?
I like that this is just part of your sexual life.
That, like, you're just having doggy style sex.
By the way, you still smell like poop.
Hey, honey, right out of the shower.
Great, let's do some fucking... Oh, God, you speak like shit. Hey, honey, right out of the shower. Great. Let's do some fucking. Oh, God.
You stink like shit.
Well, goodbye.
Is this person married to Patrick Bateman?
You really smell like shit.
My name is Patterson 44.
Buttocks smells during doggy style sex.
Is this slam poetry? Buttocks smells during doggy style sex this is slam poetry buttocks smells then why are my buttocks smelly same issue with my husband he hasn't said anything but i noticed
the distance in doggy style as of lately i noticed the distance in doggy style as of lately. I noticed the distance in doggy style as of lately.
When we have doggy style, he fucks me from across the room.
He's like, whoa!
Hang on, honey, I need to get my caliper.
And I always do a check myself
beforehand, and it
just has that smell?
I have begun using
thick lotions and the combination
of very fragrant hairdressings
for African
American women's hairs.
Hair.
I am African American, for any of you that are white.
Just go to the ethnic or Sally's hair supplies.
Get some hair grease.
Hair dressing.
Slather it on between your...
Sorry.
Good advice coming up.
Slather it on between and on your butt cheeks.
In and out.
It will make you smell so much better.
You will be amazed.
Not a thick, gloppy coat.
Just a nice, thin, moisturizing coat.
Good luck.
I also put a little in my vajayjay hairs.
It makes it smell nice and good.
So if you're having problems smelling like poop,
lube up your hand and finger your butthole.
With hair products.
With some butt glow.
This advice
was so good, I typed it twice
in a row.
And both posts contain
I noticed the distance in doggy style
as of lately.
So it's not like she decided to correct it the second time over.
It was a double submit.
Okay, we need to move away from that.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I mean, there's so much there.
Are you sure?
Because I think my name is Rick White.
Oh, you're right.
Your name is Rick White.
Damn right I'm Rick White.
And I need to get a variety of opinions here.
Well, here's a variety of them.
Some men, like me,
really love the smell of a woman's ass.
I love to go down on my CF from behind.
This is your medical advice?
I encourage her to skip showers.
I absolutely love that womanly scent.
Very intoxicating.
Gets me hard in an instant.
Does it?
Did you find this post helpful?
Tell a friend.
We need to contact a moderator and have that move that to the dysfunction,
the erectile dysfunction page.
So, Lemon, why did you think I needed to be here for this?
Because I just want you to, like, you know, if at any point in this episode,
if at any point in this episode somebody says something that's medically unsound,
you know, just speak up. And since you haven't, sure, that's
not happening, right?
We'll take your silence as a yes.
Yeah, I'm just sad
that we, you know, good job,
John, because we wouldn't have moved away without
that. We also would have moved away without
Mrs. BH3. Boots, please.
Yeah, try it
once.
Personally, I've never had...
Try smelling like poop?
Yes.
I've never had the problem, but I would suggest waxing like a Brazilian.
Or having your butt shaved.
Because the hairs near your butt hold the scent of your butthole.
So, just a suggestion.
You know, that's not incorrect. For some reason, that phrasing..., so just a suggestion. You know that's not incorrect
for some reason, that phrasing.
This is great.
If you like the position,
which you obviously do,
if you didn't,
you wouldn't be upset by what your significant
other thought.
Wait, what?
It'd be an excuse to get out of
sex that way.
Just try it one time and see it changes.
See it changes.
That's a perfect line read.
This document was submitted by Caroline,
and there's 34 pages of it,
so we're going to have to skip parts of it.
One of the pieces that we're skipping is the thread entitled
Swelling Lips of Vagina and Throat After Zoophilia Acts.
You're welcome, listeners.
We're skipping that one.
So if we're going to skip that, then what the hell did you bring me here for?
I brought you here to read this question.
This is a question by Sick Flowers.
I am Sick Flowers,
and I have a problem with an old bottle of urine.
Is it that you keep old bottles of urine?
Yeah, it's my first diagnosis right off the bat.
It's an old bottle of urine.
Oh, this urine's gone off.
Hello, everybody.
This is my first
post in this forum.
Something terrible
has happened to me,
so please post if
you can really
help me.
I had urinated
in a bottle one
or two weeks ago
and put it in a
closed shelf in my
library.
So that's your
problem.
Because I have a
library.
A library of urine.
It's all cataloged.
But it turned out that the bottle was made of paper
and the liquid inside
managed to get out of the bottle.
And the worst thing is
that it came in contact with some
important documents.
What the fuck?
That I stored next to a paper bag full of pee.
Were they your plans for the spruce goose?
So today, after
two weeks, I opened the shelf to
throw the bottle to Rubish,
but it smells so bad as
nothing before I smell
in my life.
I don't know
what to do. I feel lost.
Is there any way to clean my documents?
Is this very...
Is this very
dangerous for my health?
I really don't dare
to open myself.
It smells bad as hell!
I really want
to vomit now, and the problem is
I don't know my parents know of it
please help me if you have
any medical advice
like just gang stalkers have
replaced all of your bottles
with origami bottles and somehow
you didn't notice
yeah I'm really really
wondering what he means by a paper bottle
there's so many
questions cause it starts off I'm really, really wondering what he means by a paper bottle. There's so many questions.
So many, because it starts off, it starts off being like,
okay, so I'm peeing in a bottle to put in my library, right?
Like we all do.
And then things go haywire.
This feels like something that he started writing with one fetish
and then, like, forgot about and came back to with a totally different fetish
at, like, three points. Oh, no, the fetish and then like forgot about and came back to with a totally different fetish at like three points.
Oh no, the fetish
randomized timer.
These are the kind of
shenanigans that go on at alchemy school.
I just want to know
what came up that was such a distraction
that he forgot that he put a bottle
of pee in the cabinet.
He's like, okay, I'm just going to put this here for a second
and then, oh, the Golden Girls are on.
And then two weeks later.
It was a marathon.
It was a Golden Girls marathon.
Jimmy Franks.
Tell me about your penis, please.
Gladly.
Great.
Thank you.
What's your name?
My name is Mo Name.
Mo Problems.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Oh, I'm sorry.
During intercourse for each pull out and push in of penis.
What's the title of your problem?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Penis movement during intercourse.
It doesn't seem like a problem.
The title of my dissertation.
During intercourse,
for each pull out and push in of a penis,
with average six inches,
length in vagina is 12.
For at least five minutes,
average number of movement is 300,
and it move about 30 yards for each intercourse.
If you compute for a year, you can find a minimum two kilometer moving.
It is very interesting in sexual relation between wife and husband.
Do you think your pee move more distance or less?
Oh, my God.
I didn't know there was going to be essay questions on this test.
Yeah, there's a graph paper?
Is that necessary for your question?
Somebody should invent a penometer.
Yeah, I'm Kang.
Hey, Kang, not Kang.
Liss.
Thanks, Kang!
That's why we go to eHealthForum!
Yay, Kang!
For these kind of definitive answers.
I answered your fucking question.
He really did give you all the information you need.
That's the kind of answer I want to tell a friend about.
I'm still baffled.
I still have no idea what I just read.
What about Vern?
Really? With all of those numbers that didn't help you?
Oh my lord, Vern 01.
Alright, take it, Victor.
It also means a guy's buttocks move just as far during sex unless he has to get into a car and drive to where the sex is to be found in order to get it.
In that case, I expect it as a journey of two parts, making a grand total
of question marks.
Well, I'm
going to drive
to the hotel that I usually have sex
in. I'll bring my dick with me.
I'll leave my buttocks at home.
These
things are interesting and amusing.
A person who smokes standard
cigarettes at the rate of 18 per day
smokes nearly two miles in 10 years.
Oh, fuck you.
Hello, man at 7-Eleven.
I would like your standard-length cigarettes, please.
Make sure they're the ones with a camel on the box.
I'll bet $20 Verno One has a newsletter.
One I wish to subscribe to.
Have your penis told about real time.
Hey, F+, is it good or bad?
Oh, it's pretty good.
Less.
Okay, great.
My name's...
Hey, listeners, that's actually a theme.
Yep.
This is not an exaggeration.
Yep.
All right.
Hello.
I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 20.
She wants to know whether she can use vegetables like cucumber and carrot in her vagina when she's sexually excited,
and wants to know whether it's good or bad.
And we got the return of Vern.
Vern!
Vern!
Yay!
Vern's going to drop some knowledge right here.
Great, good, thanks.
And he's using English this time.
This is great.
Women have been using vegetables and other suitably shaped and sized things in themselves since time began with few problems, I suspect.
Generally, it is probably a good thing as a penis substitute in moderation if she isn't too ambitious or too vigorous.
You need to lower
your masturbation expectations.
I don't want to set that cucumber
on fire, I guess.
Carrots especially tend not
to be too large and have an interestingly
textured surface.
Interesting. How would you know?
Other textures could be
added with a sharp knife or peeler
without weakening the vegetable very much.
I assume.
Okay. Ouch.
Or just use the peeler. Fuck it.
So is this who Ernest was
talking to all those years?
Cleanliness of the
vegetable is important. Hey, Vern, Vern, stop
that. Come on, Vern.
This is why Vern never talked to this commercial.
Oh, he did. They just edited it out.
Oh, we can't use that at all.
That's why they always
ended with, you know what I mean, Vern? And Vern was like,
no, carrots have been in vaginas since the beginning of time.
And then Ernest just getting
increasingly disgusted. I just realized something. Our listeners are really young. No, carrots have been in vaginas since the beginning of time. And then Ernest just getting increasingly distracted.
I just realized something.
Our listeners are really young.
Okay, so there was these commercials.
Oh, God.
Ernest.
Oh, fuck it.
Just ask Wikipedia.
Google Ernest C. Worrell.
Hey, Vern.
Just ask Wikipedia, kids.
Yeah, Google, hey, Vern, and then think to yourself, that was popular for a while.
He made movies.
Anyway.
And then look up Zubas, and people are like, they still do. Zubas are coming back. Did you know that? popular for a while. He made movies. Anyway. And then look up Zubas, and people
like to do that. They still do!
Zubas are coming back! Did you know that? Oh, they did.
They are. Zubas are absolutely coming back.
I want to hear Burn. Wear some of the
sleep. They never left.
Alright, finish that, Burn.
Also, cleanliness
of the vegetable is important, and
in order not to leave any behind in the
case of accidental breakage, a condom should
be used. Jesus Christ.
Good luck!
I like how on the site it goes
from something weird and kind of
fetishy sexual, and then it transitions to
something else, like, oh, peed into a
paper bottle? Well, here's document
retrieval. Hey, shoving things
into vaginas? Well, here's how to clean your vegetables.
Hey, Vern, what's your rank on e, here's how to clean your vegetables. Hey, uh, hey, Vern,
what's your rank on
eHealthForum.com? My rank?
I am extremely eHealthy.
Sure are,
which is different than being
healthy.
That's kind of a negative correlation there.
Okay, so,
uh, so this is another forum here.
Uh, we are not in the, uh, sexuality topic anymore. We are not in the sexuality topic anymore.
We are in medical health sleep disorders.
Victor, if you'll take the words of Octopus123, please.
Octopus123, I don't get up.
Wow.
Those Little John songs are just getting worse and worse.
Hello, everybody.
I need some help and advices.
I am 19, and apparently I live in 1884.
Every night I go to sleep very late because I can't tear myself from the computer.
I listen to music, read about psychology,
whatever, just to stay on the computer.
When I want to get up in the morning, I just can't.
If it was just a short sleep of up to seven hours,
I won't even remember turning off the alarm clock.
If it's more than eight...
I get so sick of my roommate bugging me about the rent.
If it's more than eight hours,
I still find it
very difficult to make myself get out of bed.
I don't want to, no matter
what I am late to.
Only when it's a very, very
important thing can I get out of bed, and
always at the last moment.
Wow, welcome.
Pizza's very important. Welcome to adulthood, asshole.
I have some problem breathing from the nose,
but it's not severe.
I feel it, and the doctor also told me.
When I stretch my face in a specific way,
I can breathe deeper through the nose.
What, did you jam your nostrils open?
And I also talk like this.
Oh, this post was written by a pug.
My face is so flat.
When I was chilled, I took a peel that helps reducing the symptoms
and also has something that helps you fall asleep and sleep better.
I remember that I woke up the next morning,
and I suddenly felt like I really had a good sleep.
It was very easy to leave the bed, and I felt happy when I woke up. Since then
I don't feel this anymore.
What the heck is my problem?
I have
I don't know, but I'm sure people shout
that at you a lot. I have some kind of thing
in my college which I have to attend
every morning.
I think they call it
I think they call it class.
And I never do
because of my sleeping problems.
Is there anything to do
more than finding some impossible
way to go to sleep earlier?
Thank you!
You're
welcome, I guess.
Okay. So yeah, that was
the sleep forum
We don't need any more of that
We need to go to
medical questions, conditions and diseases
poisoning and environmental health forum
Jimmy Franks, you are AngelHeart89
Am I ever
You are
What's your question?
I'm getting to that
Is there nothing invisible
That can harm your body?
Nope, nope
You can't see it, it's not dangerous
I'm sorry.
I didn't read that right.
Is there nothing invisible that can harm your body?
Who's nothing?
Thank you.
The answer is the same.
There are nothing.
I'm AngelHot89.
This may sound weird, but important.
I had a drink with a neighbor before, and he asked me to sniff the top of his beer can.
What?
That was... Asked me if it smelled funny as i'm sweetheart no close your eyes first yeah i looked before and i didn't didn't see a
thing so sniffed it and nothing smelled is there nothing invisible that can harm your body?
What the fuck?
BC, he's an ex-cop and kind of perverted and abusing.
Oh, good friend.
I have no idea why he asked it.
Just freaked me out now that I think of it.
I don't believe that your friend is perverted and abusing because
from your story he said, hey smell this.
Does it seem like it's skunky to you?
You'd ask me to sniff the top of your
beer can. He's been through
stress, divorce, PTSD
and himself abused.
I DK if he's trying
to abuse me just ask him.
You see I feel he's unhealthy
and hoping wasn't just messing with me.
You hope he wasn't just messing with you?
I'm hoping he wasn't.
I'll sniff your beer can, but there better be poison in there.
Look, just to give this lady some credit, the germ theory of disease is only 570 years old.
Sure, sure. But are germs
visible? No, not all of them,
and that's the thing. Okay.
Okay, uh, hey,
uh, hey, plus.
Who are you? I feel like sometimes, sometimes,
oh, oh, okay.
Uh, ha, ha, okay, okay,
okay, uh, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I just, you know, my mind's just, I'm thinking about a lot of stuff. Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just, you know, my mind's...
I'm thinking about a lot of stuff.
Anyway, I'm ragged as a...
Okay.
This is the Poisoning and Vendor Minds...
Fuck it.
The fucking forum.
The fucking forum, right?
The fucking...
Okay, here's my important question.
This is an important question about coke
and what organs it destroys.
Can we get more caffeine in it?
Oh.
Okay. Hello, members and
guests. I would like to share some information with you that I've
collected from back when I was first born.
What?
Yeah, I collected it back when I was
first born. When I was a kid, I used
to never worry. When I read pages
in books, I used to understand them very fast
and well. My body could be
very fast at decisions. I had no concerns
at all. The drink made by the company
Coco
Cola.
It's made by Ice-T's wife.
Don't drink that.
Stop drinking that immediately.
No, don't.
People say that Coke is bad
for you and some organs inside of our body.
Bad for you and our body
What organs is it bad for?
I have heard
I've heard that the drink comes from
Under earth and is slow poisoning
For our bodies
Coca-Cola or Pepsi destroys an organ
Which is connected to the body
Or the brain
And the central nervous system
Via a specific gene.
Just hanging off of one gene.
I am trying to find the name of that organ.
It is located in our digestive tract.
So when we have coke,
the worry effect takes place in our body immediately.
God, the National Treasure movies have really lost the plot here.
So I am sure that it is an organ located near our chest.
As far as I know, that organ filters water to our lungs or some other body parts that I think I am unsure of.
What Coke does is destroys an organ so that water cannot pass by.
Well, good thing we have an expert.
Hey, Victor, which organ
filters the water that goes into your lungs?
Well...
Um...
Oh, God.
Basically...
Come on, Victor. It's basic anatomy.
No way. Honestly, there's It's basic anatomy. No.
Honestly, there's an answer to this.
What this jackass is getting at is liver damage, which...
Oh, we know what he's trying to say.
What he asked is...
So, I'm gonna...
Let's pick something in the chest.
Let's go with the...
This organ is mainly used for water purification.
Or filtration.
Anything
else would destroy it.
Then make us worry a lot,
therefore disabling us to do work efficiently
or without worries. We worry because
that organ sends a message to our brain
via gene.
The gene doesn't function
properly because the organ is gene doesn't function properly
because the organ
is not able to function properly
since it is destroyed.
Fair enough.
Organs
don't function well once they're
gone.
That's a real problem with organs.
Now that organ fails to
filter water,
so the brain and gene and organ keep interacting with each other. So during our whole lifetime, that organ fails to function,
therefore causing a side effect.
Please can someone tell me the name or just research
or tell me the name of an organ.
Or just research. Resurrect. organ. Or just Reserach.
Reserach.
Reserach.
Or just tell me the name of an organ
that may have a similar effect.
As far.
As far.
As far as I know
that this has
nothing to do with our liver or kidneys.
Well, that's the end of me.
Shut my mouth.
You tried to put him in his little box and call logic, but he's busting out.
Nope.
Now he's describing the thymus, which.
Yeah.
So remember where I gave you a lot of hints.
Yeah, it was located in the digestive system, and then it was located in the chest.
Yeah, it was located in the chest.
I mean, they're kind of similar.
Well, there's only one digestive organ that is in the chest, so that's really fucking easy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so that's where it's located.
Anyway, let me continue this post.
It is located near out throat or lungs.
located. Anyway, let me continue this post.
It is located near out throat or lungs. So
since when coke is digested
into our tracks, it takes effect
immediately. Why did
nobody answer my question?
Nobody replied.
I really love that even eHealth
is looking at each other like, I don't even know
what to do here.
I mean, the kid who peed into the paper water
bottle, I get that, but what the hell is it?
Tags, kidneys, brain,
liver, about the brain, liver function,
brain function.
Hey, Jimmy Franks.
Miss Sanchez has a
question that she wants to ask.
Oh. Okay.
I'd like to tell you all about
that right now. Oh, good. I was just
going to tell you that, but if you want to read it, fuck it.
It'll probably work well within the podcast format.
Hello, this is M. Sanchez, 1030.
Hey, M.
That's my frequency.
1030.
Tune in.
You're listening to M. Sanchez, 1030 in the morning.
M. Sanchez, 1030.
What's your question? My question, I get to M. Sanchez, 10.30 in the morning. M. Sanchez, 10.30. What's your question?
My question, I get to that.
My question is, alien living in my tummy?
Good.
Sure, we all do.
Please help me.
I have a weird lump appear and disappear in my stomach a couple inches above my belly button.
You can actually see and feel it going up and down.
It reminds me of when I was pregnant with my son.
He would press his foot or fist up against my stomach
and we could see it protruding from my belly.
I am 5'5 and 115 pounds.
I thought maybe it was because I am so thin
that maybe I was watching my intestines contract.
Then I thought, oh no, do I have a worm growing inside my stomach?
And just wriggling against your stomach.
I had my stool sampled, but nothing was found.
I wonder if she also has small breasts.
I had my stool sampled at a wine store.
I've questioned my doctors about it, but they have no idea what I am trying to describe.
Please help. I don't blame them.
You see, Victor, this is
why there's so much contempt for
the medical community.
You ask these perfectly reasonable
questions about
aliens
in my tummy, and then
you can't even help.
I mean, can you even help this woman?
No.
And you know what?
When I tell her that, she looks at me with a little snarl and goes,
Then why am I hurting?
And I don't have an answer.
Ma'am, we can safely rule out aliens.
Yeah.
Safely? Come on. I mean, you know, probability is one thing, but if you really can safely rule out aliens. Yeah. Safely?
Come on.
I mean, you know, probability is one thing, but if you really want to rule it out.
Boots, what did you eat the other day?
Well, I'm glad you asked, because I've been telling everybody about this.
Okay, what did you eat?
This is Victor's life, folks. So this is Victor's life. All, what did you eat? This is Victor's life, folks.
So this is Victor's life. Alright, I want a little slice of Victor's life. I ate old
urine. Yeah,
I ate old urine
that was mixed in butter.
The butter was in the fridge for weeks before
I ate it. I've been ingesting
it for the last week. Are
there eye health
risks that I should be
aware of?
I found out about it on day two, but I figured
hey, I don't want to throw this butter away.
Is it the butter or the tea?
Yeah, just since nobody's responding,
I'll just, you know,
give you a little bit more information about this.
Just so you know, it wasn't
my pee, and there was
also boogers in there.
Wait a minute. So, you know, it wasn't my pee, and there was also boogers in there.
Wait a minute.
I've got a theory here. Hold on, J.O. Citizen.
I'm starting to think this is a fake account.
Yeah, I think this guy was just trolling for, like, another gross, whatever gross fetish this is.
But, like, nobody took the bait.
They're like, there's also boogers.
It's really gross.
Anybody into gross stuff?
Shit.
Well, and what a weird thing to do.
I'm going to talk about boogers and shit on the eHealth forum.
No, no, you're fine.
You're just in there with the rest of the community doing the same thing.
Some sullen 12-year-old just angry that his post got taken at face value.
All right. Mr. Toast? Yeah. and 12-year-old just angry that his post got taken at face value.
Alright.
Mr. Toast?
Yeah?
You have a theory you want to share with us?
Oh, yes.
I have a theory about Bigfoot.
Oh, dear. My name is Oops again.
I'm very e-healthy.
Please tell me more, Joe Notion.
Well, Bigfoot, perhaps
is a spirit
I've seen them, spirits
manifest them before into the physical
Is this singular or plural?
You have to make up your mind
I don't
There is a whole nother world out there
and it has been proven that
they can come here and we can see them. Yeah, this is Joan Ocean.
Imagine
that people would
see all sorts of strange things, right?
I will not!
Why couldn't this happen, then?
What the bleep do we know?
Fucking hell.
No one could
ever guess it. A big monkey guy
just showing up in different places.
He, she is a ghost become physical
and obviously a bit of a prankster as well.
Who else would make us think that?
What?
They won't find him out there in the woods.
What?
This perhaps is one of the reasons I thought of
shapeshifting during my psychosis with the ghosts
because it's very possible that it actually happens.
Funny, huh?
Maybe. Maybe.
If I understood you, maybe it was.
Anyone? Anyone?
Okay, okay. Let me make another post, then.
Okay, great.
Come on.
No one cares that there is a ghost walking around
making some people think that there is an ape guy
walking around in the woods?
This is what they used to call tricksters.
That's good information to have.
Think about it.
There's a big foot out there in the woods.
Yeah, I know.
It's no big deal.
Yeah, but it's made put there by a ghost.
A ghost!
That's good information to have.
That tip's free
The next one will cost you
Alright, so one more here
This is the
Medical Questions, Conditions and Diseases
Dental Health Forum
Jimmy Franks, if you'll take this for me please
You're Marianne 05058
You're a supporter
Marianne 05558. Your supporter.
Marianne 0558.
Picking gums for the pleasure. Page 1.
Sounds sick,
huh? I've been picking at my gums for as long as I can remember.
It started in childhood with my
fingernails. I would scrape at and
poke the corners of my gums where my teeth
meet until they bled.
Didn't even hurt.
It felt good.
That's great.
Now that I'm 23, the habit is even worse.
What?
I can sit here for hours picking at my teeth.
They don't even bleed anymore.
I use whatever is small, sharp, and pointed.
From thumbtacks, knives, the prongs on a fork,
straws, toothpicks, nail files,
I could go on forever.
And you will.
I'm really worried that my teeth will
eventually start to fall out because the gums are
beginning to disappear. Oh my god!
The weird thing about it is my teeth are
relatively healthy other than that.
No, they're not!
Brush and floss them regularly, whiten them. Now that they fall out of my head, they're real easy to brush. No, they're not. Brush and floss them regularly, whiten them.
Now that they've fallen out of my head, they're really easy to brush.
Yeah, they're all lined up on my shelf.
They're on a necklace around my neck.
I started thinking today that this was definitely a psychological problem,
but I've never heard anyone else having the same problem.
I tried to use aura gel too.
It doesn't work.
The tingling feels good, but then I feel the need to poke.
I put aura gel on the tool and jam it into my gums.
Just feels good.
I don't even know how to explain it.
But you're going to go on and try.
The best way for me to try to explain is it's almost like itching and a constant need to scratch.
Yeah, that's healthy.
Wish someone could help.
I just love that feeling.
I am an addict.
That's my name as well.
Oh, good.
I knew that I wasn't the only one who loves to pick at their gums until they bleed.
It feels so good, especially after the picking occurs.
I enjoy how
the tingling occurs
a while after the actual picking.
Makes me keep coming back for more.
I mainly do this at night, even in my
sleep or when I can't sleep.
I love how the gums start
to recede!
That's pretty cool, huh?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Is anybody else here very acutely
aware of everything that's going on in their mouth right now?
A little bit, yeah.
I mainly
do this at night, even when I sleep.
Sounds weird, but
it makes me want to pick at them more.
There is more space for picking.
Laugh out loud.
In an unrelated story, I had a tooth removed in February of last year.
I don't think that's unrelated.
And the wound has long healed, but now I have an open space for picking at.
I prefer my fingernail, but if a TAC or a pin becomes available, that is wonderful as well.
I even found myself doing this in public places, like work.
I don't even care.
I don't even care.
Fuck, that's a difficult.
Okay, I don't even care that I was doing it.
The spaces in between my teeth are becoming larger,
and I love how much easier it is to get something in there.
Wow, this is fucking snowballing.
Yeah, we're just shedding pretense by every word.
Keep posting, I can't stop this, and probably need professional help, but fuck it.
I have been doing this since childhood.
Signed, an addict in Arizona.
Hi, I'm a completely different person named Mina Bird, 1993.
Good, great.
I have done the same thing.
When I was little, I used to scrap my gums until they were raw.
Then I started shoving toothpicks and sharp objects into them.
It doesn't hurt.
It feels good.
But like almost a euphoric feeling sometimes.
I can't stop.
I then rinse with scowling hot water and salt.
What?
What are you doing?
It makes them sting, but it hurts them for a while, which takes the urge to pick away.
Just try not to damage any nerves.
What?
And then like a million more people
will say, yeah, I do the exact same thing with my gums.
Jesus Christ!
Kind of a robust
community of gum pickers.
I can't seem to stop smoking. I know what
I'll do. I'll set my lungs on fire!
Jesus.
Yeah.
Victor, your nightshade?
I've been terrorizing the gums for a while now.
Just the gums.
Not mine.
Hey, try this.
Take an X-Acto knife and push it between your bottom teeth with the back end towards the gum.
You know, the part that isn't sharp.
Then gradually push up on the handle.
This applies as... Oh my god, I can that isn't sharp. Then gradually push up on the handle. This applies as...
Oh my god, I can't even finish this.
This applies as slow and steady pressure to your gum without cutting it.
Still, it hurts and feels incredible.
It works best on areas you've previously injured slash cut.
Enjoy!
Oh my god.
This is a weird surprise fetish just sort of crammed in here.
I didn't know anything about this.
We're learning. The whole point of this
podcast is to learn. I didn't
know about this ten minutes ago.
The fuck you is for Caroline.
Because I feel like Victor, where you live, people could be just using
this as a cover story for their meth addiction.
I'm going to start suggesting that to people as a cover story for their meth addiction.
I just really like when my teeth run out of my head.
I'm a toothpicker.
Yeah.
Not a meth smoker.
Gum picker.
Yeah, gum picker.
Wow.
There's so many people here. Awesome. Well, my name is Poofy. Oh. Hi, gum picker. Wow, there's so many people here.
Awesome.
Well, my name is Poofy.
Oh, hi, Poofy.
Well, I am just shocked that other people do this, too.
Me, too.
Between my gums of my two big front teeth on each side,
I'd love to pick with a knife or anything sharp until I get a cut.
Then I like to get margarita salt, really coarse,
and paste it into the cuts.
No! Do not do that!
Well, it burns like a mother,
but for some insane reason, I
love it.
There's also pee and boogers in it.
And then I pee into a paper bottle on some documents.
I can stop for long periods of time, but every once in a while, I start doing it again.
Then I can't keep my tongue out of it.
I also like pushing on the gums when they are dry and have salt on them.
Wow.
Some of the strange things that people do.
This is fucking insane.
The only way I can imagine this happening
is sometimes when you get a cut in your mouth
or on your gums or something like that
and you feel it with your tongue,
you're like, oh, that's weird, I got a little cut there.
Yeah, yeah.
But then at that moment,
that's the first time they got a boner
and it's like, well, I guess this is it.
God, that theory works for everything.
It's the only way I can make sense of this fucking world.
Hey, Lemon.
Yeah?
Do you have one last topic for us?
Oh, boy.
Oh, man.
I have one last topic.
This is going to be...
Okay.
We're going to have to choose.
We're going to have to choose.
I think, Jimmy Franks, do you want to make the choice here?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I love this.
The devil's bargain.
Yeah.
It's fun.
Any way you choose, you lose.
We all win.
All right.
All right.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Okay.
These are both pretty good, I got to say.
Option number one, effects of excessive masturbation.
All right.
I feel that we've covered that probably in about 100 episodes.
Yeah.
It's pretty much what the whole show is about.
Yeah.
You start watching My Little Pony a lot more.
Option number two, how many orgasms can a woman have?
Well, you know.
Two.
I got to go with number two, I gotta go with number two.
All right.
Yeah.
Uh, it's, I was actually wrong.
I realized on my first reading. Is it more than zero?
My first reading.
Yeah, no, no.
She's, she's not happy.
Like I know she says she's happy.
She's not.
Uh, I actually read that wrong.
It's a, how many orgasms can a women have
can a women have good good so you're a bandit man hey uh i'm bandit man okay i am 29 my wife 28
we have been married for four years now i have always been one to pleasure my partner before
myself my wife had never had an
orgasm until i came along despite a few guys before me wrote in on a silver cock i love to
make my wife orgasm multiple times christ uh-huh why is it so hard not to read all of these in a
southern accent i don't know i'm sorry all of these people in my brain are hillbillies.
Anyway, I digress.
I love to make my wife orgasm multiple times.
Within our five years, dated for one year,
I have found two positions that I could hit her G-spot
every time with every thrust.
Wa-bam!
Wa-bam!
That's not bragging or anything.
DDT! Wa-bam! Wabam! That's not bragging or anything. DDT!
Wabam!
Body blow, body blow.
Four fingers.
The leg lock there.
When we dig it into one of those two positions,
she orgasms hard.
Oh!
She says sometimes she has multiple orgasms
and sometimes she has one long hard one that doesn't stop.
Put the cock back in, bro!
She has said that sometimes she orgasms so hard
she has seen spots floating around.
Maybe the ghost that brings the Bigfoot.
LOL, but here's the problem. problem oh never let me get her past four
orgasms what she will never let me get her past four you're just trying to break records here
i have never heard of a woman tell her man to stop you know you haven't? All right. Enough. LOL.
I'm worried that it may be too much for her.
Is it possible for a woman to have a heart attack caused by orgasms?
Jesus, I've faked it four times.
Just stop already.
Yeah, no kidding.
Come on, do it again.
Do it again.
Even assuming this is true, which, you know, come on.
But even assuming this is true, she's like, okay, orgasm, that's awesome, I'm done for the night.
And he's like, no, we gotta keep going!
Or maybe to stop breathing afterwards due to too much excitement.
Exhidement.
Oh, what?
Oh, fuck off. I have never heard of this happening, but I wasn't sure.
I don't want to kill her.
LOL.
You kind of do.
Yeah, I'm a sinister
Just how many orgasms
Can a typical woman handle
Thanks
Yeah I've heard
If you go to prison
For fucking a woman to death
You just get high fives
The whole way through
Hey guys
I'm so good at sex
I make an orgasm
Just by looking at her
But I don't want to kill her
With my awesome dick
Is there any help
You can give me?
My name, Boris Badanov,
1960.
Don't steal.
Hello, Boris.
Must stop
moose and squirrel from having too many orgasms.
Somehow that's the funniest thing.
My topic called
Boris, oh no, my topic not
called my name. My topic called Boris, oh no, my topic not called
my name. My topic called
female orgasms.
My girlfriend and I really
do connect on every possible level
and are really into each other.
The last two times
we were together, she orgasmed
41 once squirting
and 30 times respectively.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Oh, honey, I orgasmed again.
Oh, you're up to 30.
Can you just fucking get off?
Tell me more, Boris.
Yeah, hate is gonna hate.
Of course, this involves
stimulating her in many different ways,
not just through intercourse
or oral sex, and
hey, assholes, I know
she wasn't faking, because you
can't fake wet.
Oh, well, science is science.
Yep.
It's not like there's a product that's
specifically designed to fake wet.
Let's see you explain that
one, professor.
It's just like
the version of the creationist
and the scientist in the
school, but it's like, you can't fake wet,
professor, and it's like, oh no, you're right.
Wetness, orgasm, same thing.
John Toast,
you are wolf with a zero.
W-0-L-F.
Ha! I'm wolf
with a zero instead of an O.
Great.
It's a fucking redneck palooza, this episode.
I was trying to go for Wolfman Jack, but I'm...
Oh, never mind!
Never mind, you're right!
You're right!
I'm sorry, that was a good choice.
Your wife can have four, apparently.
Yes.
You can kill a woman with sex, but even vacuuming will give a woman a heart attack under the right circumstances.
Vacuuming? Oh, I thought that was a sexual act.
her ability to lubricate or cause her pain or overwhelm her brain's ability
to crank out endorphins and make the sex
unpleasantly intense for her,
which is more likely why
her wife is stopping you.
There are many, many easier ways to kill your wife
if that's what you're asking.
And now the great pretender.
Okay.
I am a R.E.
Hey, R.E.
How often should a human female
Have an orgasm
As my girlfriend
Never masturbates
And only has an orgasm
When we are together
And sometimes it is six weeks
Between the time we see each other
What the fuck
I think she should have an orgasm just for health
sakes.
When she orgasms, she looks as
if her head will explode
as her face turns red
and she tenses up for a few minutes.
That sounds good for her. Minutes?
Sure. That sounds incredibly healthy.
Yeah.
I think she's sold have
a few orgasms
when she is alone
just to keep in shape
because I predict that someday we will be having
sex and she will up and die
during orgasm
that's what you think is it?
anybody got the answer?
that's my expert medical opinion
next post down
wolf with a zero is back.
Hey there, I'm back.
Wolf with a zero instead of an O.
It's hard to say
how often a woman should orgasm.
The more often she reacts,
she reaches climax, the stronger her
libido is and the better her emotional
ability.
Emotional stability, I'm sorry.
I came so hard I forgot I was molested!
Comality, perfect.
Alright, let's get to work on that game.
I'm sure it exists.
I'd say that a woman needs to orgasm
as often as she needs to, but that she
benefits from orgasm a lot more often.
I like to masturbate every day.
Don't cum or anything, just...
Something to do.
I bet Wolf is available for hire.
Next one down,
Victor, you're average man.
Oh, fuck you again, Lemon. What Victor, you're average man. Oh, fuck you again,
Lemon.
What? You're an average man.
You're the everyman.
Yeah, you need to bring the
everyman perspective to this podcast.
I think that's what TV Tropes said about me.
Just be good and humble,
and it'll be great, I'm sure.
I'm an average man.
The most I made my girlfriend orgasm
was ten in a three-hour session.
Oh my god.
Thank god it was her birthday.
Weird that you just said TV
trope, seeing as how this is so much
on that same tack. I was wearing
fingerless gloves when I fingered her.
Thank god it was her birthday.
What a birthday gift
she got that day.
Otherwise she would have died.
This only happened once that she orgasmed ten times.
For the most part, she has had anywhere from three to six every time we have sex.
So many girlfriends are lying to their boyfriends.
So many boyfriends are lying to the internet.
Yeah, yeah, that too.
They have come from any
and every way we have had sex.
What?
Of course a lot of you people
will think this is a lie,
but it is really the truth.
Oh, I'm sorry for everything I just said.
And thought.
She is sitting right next to me while I am posting this reply.
God, I am a lucky man!
You're going to watch me post about this on the internet.
What kind of proof could you guys need? My girlfriend is sitting right here. Okay?
And then he turns around and says,
Now what's this I hear about other people drawing
clop pics of you?
Well, if he was lying about that, she wouldn't have
let him hit send, so it makes sense.
It's true.
How about orgasm?
Oh, I want to hear this one again.
I've never
actually orgasmed
before, because whenever I touch myself, I get bored after a while.
I get caught up in the first, like, 10 to 15 minutes, but before I manage to orgasm, I just start to relax, and touching myself seems boring.
It doesn't seem to have quite the same thrill.
Mew face.
A face that goes,
What the hell is that anyway?
It's a stroke face.
Anyway,
is there something wrong with me, or
is it something else? I do know about the G spot,
and I know where mine is, and I focus on that
spot, but is there more to it?
I kind of want help from
anyone, please.
So when you focus on it,
is it like, do you actually touch it, or are you
just focusing your chi on that area?
I'm sorry,
you didn't tell us your name, and
whether or not you won the first
season of Work of Art, the Next
Great Artist. Oh, yeah.
Thanks for
I like, you know, I don't like
to brag,
but my name's XXPeregrineXX.
And I did actually win the first season of Work of Art.
I think I had installations about...
I think it was unicorns that were fucking
while smoking cigarettes.
Yeah, that was it.
I think that was my art.
This has been jokes that Lemon
and Boots will guess.
Yeah, sorry.
I feel like that's a show
with an audience of a hundred,
but man, it was such a good reality show.
And 50 of them were you in production.
This one just goes on forever.
This one is the gift that keeps on giving.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Boots, still next one down. Kelly Wong.
Hi.
My knowledge is
really limited, and it's always
my boyfriend who does the explanation
when I ask something about
sex. I'll go
blur most of the time, because
I really can't understand.
Sorry, I all of a sudden became
Southern.
It's Jesus Christ!
It's impossible not to do that on this site.
Fucking Southern single!
Well,
he's not here.
Oh, Jesus! Hi, Stog!
Here we go.
Boots just got the vapors.
He's not here sleeping.
And I am surfing.
Wrong surfing.
The net.
I wouldn't want to wake him up and ask,
so what's orgasm actually?
It might seem silly to all of you,
but truth is, I don't really know,
and I'm already 19.
Hey, I'm C. Dilly, 420.
Oh, good.
Multiple orgasisms.
Stay out of Riverdale.
Wow. I'm so glad all you people have replied to this blog.
I'm 19, and my GF is 18, and when we have sex, she orgasisms uncontrollably.
I made her cum 23 times in an hour.
Oh, God, fuck you all.
Stop this.
God damn it.
I'm sick of this.
Stop.
And even after stoping, she had three orgasisms without me even touching her. I admire her dedication to her role.
Oh, I'm still coming!
Oh my god!
No, no, don't touch me anymore.
It's still happening.
Don't touch me for the rest of our relationship.
You know like in a show
where somebody tries to do a lie
and it just spirals out of control
and by the end of the show
they're committed to this really over-the-top lie?
That's like every post in this thread.
Now my girlfriend orgasms just when
I walk in the door.
My girlfriend orgasms when she
says my name. I'm like Voldemort. She just says it
and it summons my cock in her.
She used to have to say it three times like Candyman,
but it's gotten worse.
I am he who shall make her come.
I'd like to read just a single sentence
of the following post by Lucky Guy.
I would estimate that in a three-hour period,
she has well over 100 orgasms.
Wow!
It's like if fucking Price is right!
No, finish that sentence sentence because it's telling.
Yeah.
Some causing her to scratch and claw and lose all touch with reality.
Reality?
What the fuck is that?
All right, all right, last one.
My girlfriend literally loses her mind trying to get me to stop.
Control F thousand.
How is it that in the eHealth episode I'm the one reacting like this and Victor is okay?
Fucking hell.
Okay, okay, last one.
Last one.
On page... What the hell
is it? Page four.
Page four.
Victor, take WTFHTM.
WTFHTM.
My girlfriend has a million
orgasms!
My girlfriend has a million orgasms! My girlfriend has a floating concept of an orgasm.
She just has ascended to the next plane.
I have literally never seen an orgasm, therefore I believe her when she says what.
Okay.
Orgasms.
My girlfriend...
Good title.
My girl has trouble having orgasms. It takes
her an hour of oral stimulation.
But just recently,
she started squirting excessively.
We have to have sex over tile.
It soaks the floor.
Since this started a couple
weeks ago, she likes it
so much she wants to do it four or
five times a day. I read
it's female ejaculation.
She says it's totally different from
orgasm.
Finally, there's a period.
I loose so much fluid, I wonder
if female ejaculation this many
times is safe.
So, my...
Yeah.
Well, but the way that's written written his girlfriend is having so many orgasms
that he is losing fluid to the point that he's no worried about he says he said loose he's
he's loosing it from her oh okay that's that's the first time that type has been correct
yeah yeah i yeah i uh i like dislodged that much fluid from her that I worry about her health.
I like that your sexual life is now at the point where you have to have sex in a containment
field.
No, we need to do it in the bathroom, otherwise the shit gets on everything.
So, F+, what did we learn from all of this?
So, F+, what did we learn from all of this?
I learned that a lot of guys don't know what an orgasm is.
At least in regards to females.
That if I do learn what an orgasm is, I may have to install a drain in my bathroom floor.
We'll have to go to the basement.
We'll have to have sex on the killing floor.
I've learned that all of you are stupid and liars. Us?
It's dope. You've learned that now? It's dope mean in the brain,
you idiots. I didn't post that!
I learned
that people are still making these kind of posts,
and what I mean by that is, you saw
these kind of, like, the way
these posts are formatted, and the way they just kind of go
off in this weird, like, fanfiction-y version
of their own lives and stuff like that.
You saw this a lot in like the early,
like 2000s and 2001,
you know,
you go onto any,
like what Yahoo BBS or whatever it is.
And it's a lot of the shit.
And every one of these posts,
I'm like,
Oh,
this must be something from 2002.
It's like,
Nope,
it was,
it was last month.
I like,
I feel like this,
I mean,
cause,
cause yeah.
So to your point,
so it's like, like this, I mean, because, yeah, so to your point, Toast, like, this seems like something that kind of shouldn't exist in a modern internet.
Exactly. Because, like, there's enough communities for, like, oh, you know, I'm a gay furry vampire that's into Supernatural.
Like, there's specifically a community for that thing.
There's enough of these
little covens that can
tailor to your specific...
Is it kind of
like, is this
the internet version of exhibitionism?
Is it
like, it's not
fucking in front of people.
It's like, just posting about your fucking in front of people.
Like, is that sexually thrilling in itself?
God, I don't know.
Fuck it, no.
I don't know.
I honestly don't know.
I mean, if this is true, if they're lying,
in any, like, conceivable reality, I don't know what they're getting out of this. I mean, if this is true, if they're lying, in any conceivable reality, I don't
know what they're getting out of this. I really
don't. People like
to brag. But, like, it's
not bragging. It's like 30
words in a fucking
cum corner of the internet. I'm assuming the answer is
the same answer that it's been for a hundred
and however many episodes. Boners.
I'm just going with boners.
But like, we're
kind of at a point where this medical
advice kind of thing,
it's as good
as it's going to get, really.
But I guess it
gets better if, you know,
you just type in
your own thing. People are just bad
at searching.
That's, I guess, what it comes down to in this case.
I got a positive thing to say about this website.
Great!
You know how WebMD is sort of a reputation for being a site where you go to
and you give it a symptom
and you find out about a million different horrible things
that are probably not wrong with you
but could be wrong with you
and have made everything so much worse for your brain?
Yeah.
This site does not seem to have that problem.
Fucking great point.
You get sort of like one sort of confusing answer,
and a whole bunch of people saying,
you're totally fine, I have that too.
It's totally cool, just keep destroying your body the way you're doing,
and then you can go away happy.
Holy shit, that's, yeah, that's awesome.
That's totally awesome.
Like, oh, my cum smells like poop.
Yeah, so does mine.
Let's hang out.
The website is always thefpl.us,
and our forum is Ball Pit.
Victor has a thread in there where
he will answer some medical questions
although he'll ignore other ones
so don't think these people can fucking
flood it, it's not gonna happen
and yeah, thanks a lot for listening
see you next time
and still fuck you, Raymond
thanks Caroline Caroline. A hard head make a soft ass, but a hard dick make the sex last. I dump in pools and make a big splash.
Water overflowing, so get your head right.
It's all in your mind, punk, so keep your head tight.
Enough with tips and advice and things.
I'm big dog having women seeing stripes and things.
They go to sleep, start snoring, counting sheep and shit.
They so wet that their body started leaking shit.
Just cause I'm a all-nighter, shoot all fire.
Ludicrous balance and rotate all tires.
Ooh, I don't wanna know me.
I just can't no man, man, man.
I don't wanna know man, man, man.
Oh, shit.
Hang on.
Guys, stop.
Stop.
I fucked up.
I accidentally...
Oh, you did?
I don't know.
Oh!
Wait, no, no.
I didn't.
I didn't.
Oh!
Sorry. Yeah, everybody keep recording. I'm recording. I didn't. Oh! Sorry.
Yeah, everybody keep recording.
I'm recording.
Good.
Wow, you totally punked us, Jimmy Franks.
False alarm.
Did anybody else stop?
Did you stop?
Nope.
Other than me.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, you totally punked us.
You guys are so great at pranking.
Okay.
No, I'm sorry.
My computer freaked out.
Now to have sex with Demi Moore.
Game on.
I wish every episode of that show ended with that.
This is like, this is call sign tag.