The F Plus - 145: Elon Musk Won't Return My Calls
Episode Date: July 26, 2014With a good idea and a great work ethic, anyone can find success. That statement isn't true at all, but what's more important is what happens when you have a terrible idea and no work ethics. We'...re looking at The Idea Wiki - a place where the internet can write down its poorly considered ideas for anything at all, and then close the browser window and go back to playing Minecraft. This week, The F Plus brings the chips to you (in the end).
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This page is a candidate for deletion.
No reason given, fake movie created by same person who has been doing this on multiple
wikis for over a year.
Wait a minute!
A fake movie on this wiki?
Will I never.
This is the F+, your favorite podcast for terrible things, read with enthusiasm, or just anything
else.
In the room tonight we have Bootsring
here. I've just thought up an
airbag for a paraglider.
Kumquats up! Criticisms.
Doesn't play music when the
toilet seat cover is up. Jimmy Franks.
A great war is going on between
Marvel heroes and DC heroes with the villains at the
hero side. Believe it or not, nothing is possible.
It's your Aquanol.
My plot at the state fair.
Duncan stumbles upon weapons.
He manages to buy weapons.
And Lemon.
A powerful drug lord and his drug cartels have stolen the technology of Robocop
to make them into advanced robotic drug cartel hybrids so no one could defeat them.
Budget $150 million.
Wow.
So they're half robot, half drug cartel.
All cops.
Hey, F+.
Hey, Lemon.
Hello.
How are you guys doing?
Fantastic.
How is your creative faculties? Is your brain like a
bubbling cauldron of
innovative ideas and
domains that you can buy?
It is now.
Because right now you can
buy fart.repair
or man.domains
or penis.pink.
I heard Kumquat got a domain.
What domain did Kumquat get?
Coming soon to your internet.
Poop.computer.
Look for it.
I'm hoping it'll be up by the time this episode comes out.
Anyway, I want to take you to a place called the Idea Wiki.
I'm going to show you the front page of the Idea Wiki
just because I want you
to delight in what happens
if you use a blue and white
blue and yellow checkerboard as
your background pattern.
There's really
nothing else happening on the front page.
Thank God I now have an ad with
Ashton Kutcher on it.
I'm blocking over that background.
Thank God.
Wow, that's something.
Okay, so the Idea Wiki is a place that could also be called Fish in a Barrel.
But it is a place where people give out their ideas for movies or video games or products.
It's really sort of the macro Nintendo fan wiki.
Aha!
All of those things that we enjoy concatenated into one place.
I've got an idea, but I don't really want to have to do any work.
So I'm just going to put it out there.
I'm the idea guy.
You guys can work out the details.
And the first word on the page is a quote by Stalin.
Yeah.
Well, that's a guy with a lot of ideas.
So, Jimmy Franks, will you start us off with, I believe it's Killian Darcy, the game.
Is that how that sounds?
Mm-hmm.
Killian Darcy.
Killian Darcy the game? Yes. Killian Darcy. Killian Darcy the game.
Killian Darcy the game is an episodic video game.
Wow.
The plot.
The following summary is a broad overview of the work,
describing the major events that occur regardless of player choice.
Thanks.
That's what plots are.
Yeah.
Some specific elements not listed here will change based on the impact of player choices.
No, they won't.
I like that.
It's like a Bioshock.
It's the open world.
I'm sold.
The game starts following the events of The Walking Ed.
Oh, come on.
15 years old Cillian Darcy is
acceptably sent by his dad to his
new home city to start Canterlot
High School and first met Applejack
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy
after he found his
arm someone cut it off so he
decided to patch it back up
with some help and sneaked into the school
to get some supplies and then got the arm
back on
and the principal meets him and found out he's a transfer student With some help and sneaked into the school to get some supplies and then got the arm back on.
What?
And the principal meets him and found out he's a transfer student.
Oh.
Just so you know, everything Jimmy Franks is reading right now is in title case for some reason.
The next day on his first day, Cillian walked to school.
That's on his first day.
He's a one-year-old child.
He met Pinkie Pie and Rarity for the first time along
with Twilight. God damn it.
He took history class and starts studying.
This game is compelling so
far. Holy fuckballs.
This is all the title.
Oh.
You're right.
We're gonna need a bigger box.
When Killian arrived home while the others gone to cafe, a strange and millionaire man appears and snoops around his house.
Oh, no.
Hello.
The girls recognize the man as Walter Winkle, Killian's dad's archenemy and the father of Wendy Winkles.
Sure.
Yeah.
I'm going to really feel afraid of a guy with the last name of Winkle.
No, his full name is Walter Winkle Killian's dad's archenemy and the father of Wendy Winkles.
Oh, okay.
So he's not evil at all.
Who's Wendy Winkles?
The game's main antagonist.
Oh, shit!
Who has been looking for their new students.
She's always wetting herself.
The game's
who has been looking for their new students
and the students make plans to head to New York
the next day. They approach
a company called the Darcy Corp.
Where Applejack start dating a man
stationed at a small house at the foot of the city.
Like Applejack the liquor a man stationed at a small house at the foot of the city. Like Applejack
the liquor?
The cereal. That's a pony,
isn't it? It's a My Little Pony. I'm gonna go
with liquor on this one. No, no, it's
Applejack cereal with Applejack used
in place of milk.
Oh!
I'm intrigued. I call it
Good Morning!
At the company, they discover another survivor group,
including Darren, Emily, and Kino,
who Killian is overjoyed to see his twin sister and later learns his best friend Kenny managed to survive his apparent death.
Can we introduce some more characters in this, please?
Please.
This is like a Lord of the Rings, like a nine hour, like epic.
During the evening, Bonnie, a character from 400 Days, appears and asks for food.
And Darren gives her some of their extra supplies.
Remember her from 400 Days, don't you?
That was a Walking Dead DLC.
Oh.
That's good.
So yeah.
Or maybe it's Fralsom from Walking Ed.
Yes.
Flash discovers that the boy Applejack kissed was Emily's brother, and Killian works to
defuse the situation.
However, as a storm approaches, the company is set on by CIA agents brought by the noise
of the wind generator.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! noise of the wind generator. Don't start that windmill.
The CIA is going to...
The party is saved by another
group of people, but they are aghast
when they see it is led by Walter Winkle
and directed to the lodge by
Bonnie. We meet again, Walter
Winkle.
Walter's daughter, Wendy, takes them all hostage
while they search for Killian,
who had gone into hiding as he knows he's a killer.
In the ensuing chaos, Kino kills one of Killian's traitors
and she retaliates by killing Emily.
Good, good!
Now we have less characters.
Kill more!
To avoid further bloodshed, the rest give themselves up
and Wendy prepares the group to move down their military school the next day and realize that Kino's the one who worked for the Winkles and Killian felt sad.
Now, just to remind people, this is a video game.
And that's the full plot of the video game.
That's it
you know I was gonna say I was really glad to see
story providers branched off into making video
games now
Christ I don't
want to hear any more about Killian Dacey
I've been thinking maybe
the games suck but maybe
the other products like the actual
you know consumer products are good
so Kumquat next piece down the other products, like the actual consumer products are good.
So,
Kumquat, next piece down there.
You have a product that you wanted to introduce us to.
I do. I love products.
Good, yeah.
I have a product here that is
a gun case that measures
your blood pressure.
Oh, okay.
You were sounding kind of tense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There have been many shootings lately.
Yep.
Yep.
So I was thinking,
what if when you own a gun,
you are required by law to have a special holder
that locks the gun inside and prevents it from shooting.
Then when your
heart rate and adrenaline goes
up, it is detected by the case
unlocking the gun.
You know, I
feel like I would be more
terrified of the person
who is completely
relaxed as he pulls his gun
out of his case.
Well, that'll protect you from it. That is way more eerie.
I thought I was going to say the other thing.
Like if someone was going to
kill you with a knife or something.
What?
What?
This can also be used
in court to prove
that the gun was used for self-defense.
Oh, my God.
It is the opposite thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, but then you'd have gun nuts that would have to masturbate furiously in order to get their guns out.
Yeah, you would have that.
That's a fictitious future you just put forth.
Yeah. to figure out a way to defeat it. That's a fictitious future you just put forth.
If only there were a whole bunch of people that had penis
problems and were really into guns.
Wow.
Man, I wish I was more excited
about wanting to kill this person.
Ah, fuck.
Well, I want to go to the firing range.
I guess I better start snorting some coke.
That was a weird product. Boots, do you have a product instead?
So really, it's just the
everything has to be like crank now.
So, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah,
I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. We're all
Jason Statham now. Yep.
I have a product, actually.
Well, we're all Jason Statham except for the ones that are
myling.
Sorry, Acer, you're myling.
Oh.
I'm gonna tell you about my product.
What's that?
You're going to love this.
You're going to fucking love this.
A Myling.
Damn it.
Sorry.
A mouth-shutting machine for teachers.
Let me explain.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Now, this does something similar to what it suggests.
And there are those students that are always getting on my nerves because they talk during tests or at work.
Well, not anymore.
Teachers will have a little remote control that is hooked up to a machine in each of their students' mouths.
When the teacher presses a button with the student's name on it, their mouth is forced closed.
This would help with the peace and tranquility of the schools and help keep our teachers calm and relaxed.
Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I thought it was a mouth-shutting machine
that shut teachers' mouths, not students.
Yeah, I kind of phrased it that way
to get your interest hooked, I think.
I've already invented that product.
It's called a staple gun.
A little bit of E.G. the Killer.
Boots. Yes? You're a fan of BackG the killer boots yes
you're a fan of
Back to the Future
right
oh boy am I
do you
do you have a
reboot of
Back to the Future
that you'd like to
tell us about
yes
thank god
it's coming out
this year
thank god
oh yeah
2014
yeah
it's gonna
premiere sometime
in May
oh alright so as the time as the time it was recording 2014. Yeah. It's going to premiere sometime in May.
Oh, alright.
So,
as of the time it was recording,
we've got seven days to go. Okay.
Sometime between now and next Friday.
So,
back to the future, a 2014
film. With Marty
now graduated from senior year, he
sets out to start his new life in college.
But when an old buyer comes and shows a mystic cube, it starts to change everything, leaving Marty in an alternate future.
And now, he and an alternated Jennifer Parker with an alternated Emmett Brown must change the timeline back to the way it was.
Alternated.
Okay.
So, like, they were hooked up to a car starter? You know, I didn't want to make that joke, but I was thinking it. Alternated. Okay. They were hooked up to a car starter.
You know,
I didn't want to make that joke,
but I was thinking it.
He did.
The characters involved
are Marty McFly,
played by Joel Courtney,
in 1994,
now a graduate,
and his birthday
is in one week,
and prepared to go to college,
he suddenly ends up
in a mixed timeline
and must make things back
to the way they were
in the end. So, Back to the Future.
Yes.
Jennifer
Parker is played by Jennifer Lawrence.
Right, fair enough. Marty's girlfriend
in an alternate timeline, she is second in command
of a group known as The Will.
She doesn't know who Marty is
in the end.
So she does know in the beginning?
In her butt.
She forgets.
It's her butt.
Oh, okay.
It's Marty's butt, actually.
So her butt doesn't know.
Okay, fair enough.
Who else do you got?
Dr. Emmett Brown's played by Will Ferrell.
Poor casting decision.
No.
Oh, okay.
Expensive casting decision.
Marty's longtime friend.
He attends to help Marty return things back to the way they were in the end.
Wait, are you playing the fortune cookie game with your cast?
George McFly is played by Steve Carell.
Wow, your movie's getting expensive.
Yeah, he plays Marty's father in the end.
Oh.
Wow, your movie's getting expensive.
Yeah, he plays Marty's father in the end.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Lorraine Baines McFly is played by Julie White.
She's Marty's mother in the end.
Oh.
Dave McFly, Channing Tatum, Marty's older brother who graduated college in the end.
Linda McFly, Emma Stone.
Emma Stone.
All right, yeah more expensive
you understand how important a character
Marty McFly's sister was
oh yeah
she was
she was a little bit of exposition
she talked about the dance
that she
there's no way any kid would know the high school
dance that her parents went to, anyway
Marty's big sister who's two years older kid would know the high school dance that her parents went to. Anyway, Marty's big sister, who's two years older
than him, in the end.
Alright, look, you guys know I'm a reclusive millionaire.
I am willing to finance
the production of this picture if you change all of the
in the ends to in the butt.
Okay.
Got it.
Yeah, Justin Yield, played by Andrew Garfield.
You're fishing so fast.
Justin Yield, played by Andrew Garfield, is Linda's boyfriend in the butt.
Arthur McFly, played by Michael Caine, Marty's grandfather, and George's father in the butt.
I guess we could assume this is being directed by Christopher Nolan.
Sylvia McFly is played by Judy Dench.
What?
That's Marty's grandmother and George's mother in the butt.
Jesus Christ.
Kane Forbes
played by Bruce Willis
is the leader of the group The Will
in an alternate timeline in the butt.
Do you just have like a
IMDB random people generator?
Is that how your casting is happening?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
And then Orfear Venks, played by Giancarlo Esposito.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, absolutely.
Gus from...
That's Gus, right?
Yeah.
The main antagonist...
He's the main antagonist, not whatever I said earlier.
Yeah.
He comes to Marty's house and shows the family a cube, which just altered in 1986.
Weren't we set in 1994?
I don't know.
Why is this Hellraiser all of a sudden?
Oh, so he could become a god in the butt.
Yeah!
That's my dream, too.
I knew that joke was going to pay off.
After Marty destroyed the cube, he was trapped in the Jurassic period.
Wow.
So you guys want to know the plot?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yes.
Tell me the plot.
Okay.
Okay, time for you to tell me the plot now.
Tell me the plot.
Come on.
No, no, no.
Please stop making whimpering noises. Read the piece that explains the plot. Come on. No, no, no. Please stop making whimpering noises.
Read the piece that explains the plot,
Boots Reindeer.
Boots Reindeer, why are you making noises
rather than reading the piece that says plot?
Okay, I'll read you the plot as it's written.
Okay.
Thank you, finally. I want Hmm? Thank you. Finally.
Uh...
I want to tell you about my game.
It's available for the Xbox
360. Ooh.
I think... I don't know. The cover image
is very small, but I think I see
an Xbox 360 logo. Anyway, it's called
Deadpool and His Inferior
Friends.
Okay, so there could be the possibility of a capital video game,
capital featuring, capital Deadpool,
as stated by one of the writers of Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2
that he talked about, wait, that he talked to in the end credits,
hopefully in the near future.
Maybe when the feature film comes out in this game,
he's hardly powerful than the other heroes that he'll team up,
and he will break the fourth wall.
It is also like the Marvel Ultimate Alliance franchise.
Excited?
Yeah, another Deadpool thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Self-referential video games.
Everyone's favorite thing in the world. Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Self-referential video games. Everyone's favorite thing
in the world.
Yes, great.
So here we go.
Where can I spend my money now?
Doombots are attacking the city
with Dr. Doom
about to kill a teenage brunette
with a ponytail.
But when a shadowy figure emerges
as he...
hits Doom with a bullseye in the eye
and that figure was Deadpool himself.
He came to the girl and said,
Hello, madam. You are safe now.
But the girl screamed and ran away,
with Deadpool realizing this, saying,
Great, now I'm the bad guy.
Still with me?
Okay, sure.
I don't know why the...
Is your microphone quiet?
I feel like there's not...
I'm on the edge of my seat here.
Oh, I was expecting a little bit more.
I need to know what's happening next.
I'm used to my audience hearing those loud guffaws of laughter
when I bang the punchlines.
Oh, yeah.
I'm laughing.
I'm laughing internally.
I'm just saving it so I don't disrupt you.
Terrific.
Thank you so much.
That's very polite of you.
Thank you.
He is then blasted by Dr. Doom and sent to the floor,
but just before Doom can blast again,
Doom is attacked by Spider-Man, Wolverine, and War Machine.
Deadpool then got up and said,
Whoa, it's Spider-Man, Wolverine, and uh-uh, what's your name again?
Oh, I see.
Oh, yep, yep. Okay.
Thank you. Still being really polite with your last name.
In the Marvel Universe.
That makes sense to me. Yes. Okay.
Correct.
Continue.
Good.
War Machine then replied, I'm War Machine.
Yep.
That is his name.
So he did that correctly.
Got it.
That's necessary.
But Deadpool just stood there with a blank look on his face.
War Machine then said, I'm Iron Man's best friend.
Deadpool then replied, doesn't ring a bell. deadpool then replied doesn't ring a bell i'm
sorry dosent ring a bell but now that you guys are here you can help me get past this level and
stop doom that's that that line of text is very critical to the synopsis of the plot it is it is
this is the storyline i'm halfway through the storyline It's only been an hour and a half, but I'm halfway through the storyline.
We're already in the sequel.
Spider-Man then said, okay.
After defeating all the Doom bots, the heroes finally got to Doom,
but Doom blasted them back and hopped in his jet and said,
don't think that you have one yet.
This isn't over.
He then flew away away and Deadpool said
man I wish I knew where I could get a jet jet like that Oh good huh
Deadpool was then brought back to shield helicarrier by spice spider-man and the
others where he saw Nick Fury and said cool you guys know a pirate mmm yeah
okay no check mark here yeah comedy gold it's got an eye patch yeah I recognize Cool, you guys know a pirate? Hmm. Yeah, okay.
Little check mark here.
Comedy gold.
He's got an eye patch.
I recognize that joke.
Nick Fury then said,
What's he doing here?
And War Machine replied,
He helped us stop the attack on the city. He could be able to help us.
Deadpool then said,
This is a storyline I'm telling you here.
Yep.
Deadpool then said,
So why am I here?
Nick Fury then said, Because Doctor Doom I here? Neck Fury then said,
because Doctor Doom and the Masters of Evil
have joined forces with Hydra,
the Brotherhood of Mutants. Why wouldn't this be
the storyline? The thing I'm saying.
Join the Hydra,
the Brotherhood of Mutants, and various other
villains, and you might be able to help.
Deadpool then says, sure,
Mr. Pirate.
You, sir, are the king of wit.
That is a callback.
Yeah, that's...
Oh, yeah.
My sides, they're splitting.
Yeah.
As Tommy Davidson would refer to it, that's the Tommy D comedy.
My name's Nick Fury.
Deadpool then replies, whatever.
Nick Fury then says,
now we will be working with various capital heroes
to stop Doom and the others.
And then Deadpool says,
sure, I'll work with them
as long as I get all the credit
for taking Doom and the others down.
Nick Fury then says,
fine, but you better stop them.
And Deadpool replies,
yeah, man, I hope this game gets a sequel.
Gameplay to be announced.
All done!
Good.
All right, so at the end of the game,
this is the tutorial.
That's sort of like a really good
sort of meta commentary on games
where you play an entire game
and it takes several hours
and then by the end you finish the
tutorial and the credits roll and you're done
the game. That's pretty clever.
Jimmy Franks, you have
some kind of machine, is that right?
Yeah, man.
What does that machine do? The some kind of
machine? Well,
I'm not real...
I was in a hurry, so I didn't have a whole lot of time
to nail the details down okay it's it's some kind of machine that makes your dinner before you get
home i don't know it's kind of a dinner spell just just hear me out okay all right like there
are those days when you don't want to cook anything.
You just want to relax.
Well, with this robot, you can set it to a time to have your dinner ready by,
and you don't have to worry about anything.
You just come home and eat.
Oh, thank God.
Okay.
Imagine a remote in your car that is hooked up to a robot chef.
I'm imagining it.
Just press some random buttons of what you want for dinner,
and the robot will cook it for you all before you get home.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I got one more.
It's called a microwater.
What? What?
It's a refrigerator and microwave combined into one device to heat up your food at the perfect time.
Here's how it works.
For school slash work each day, leftovers slash dinners left in the microwater.
Keep the food chilled with the refrigeration capabilities of the microwater.
Then when it's time for dinner, a button can be pressed to turn on the microwave for a certain amount of time and heat up the food.
Certain amount of time.
This could be through radio waves or an iPhone to Android application.
Could be.
What else could it be?
I don't know.
It's a microwader.
Isn't that enough?
Fuck what?
It's a refrigerator and a microwave
Come on
Attention
Do you have any warfare needs?
Quite a few
Just bought Tropico 5
Citizens are getting out of hand
So I was wondering
How to conduct warfare So I went to the Idea Wiki.
Makes sense.
And they have a warfare ideas category page.
They do, do they?
Yeah.
Well.
Pages in category warfare ideas has one page.
One entry.
Yes.
And what is that entry called?
Bomb with air.
Okay.
I like it.
Hey, don't laugh.
A lot of military technology
was really radical at the time.
And not enough military technology has an exclamation point at the end.
Yeah.
It's written on the bomb.
Bomb with air.
Today, most bombs are detonated by a nuclear chain reaction.
Most of them, yep.
Or other explosive means.
Okay.
or other explosive means.
Okay.
This can cause destruction of the landscape
and not just military targets.
Besides, innocent people
can get radiation poisoning and die.
Well,
that's bad.
That's how bombs work, yep.
Fires created by the explosion
could also set millions of acres
of woodland on fire.
Only the woodland.
Okay.
One alternative to this problem
is to use what I call
an air bomb!
Is that the same as a bomb
with air?
No.
Patent pending.
It uses just that, air, to create the most destructive force of a conventional bomb, a shockwave.
What?
What?
Well.
What is a shockwave?
A shockwave is anything that is above 190 decibels.
Look, I hear your incredulity,
but this is the idea wiki,
not the physics wiki, guys.
Just back the fuck off.
Sound is not sound anymore.
Instead, it is a mass of air
traveling several hundred miles per hour.
A shockwave can rip and dismember
the human body apart
and make buildings collapse.
Design of the air bomb.
OGG file.
Right.
In an air bomb, a huge pocket with air inside is the main creator of the shockwave.
The bag, or pocket, would be made of high durability plastic.
That's a plus.
All right.
Sure.
The air inside of it would press
enormous pressure against the walls,
almost to the point of bursting.
A weight to pop the bag
would be hooked on by bungee cords.
Why did I get a gerbil to do it?
Attached to the four corners of the bag,
the weight would be sharp and pointy to pop the bag.
The whole thing should be no bigger than an average-sized room.
What? Wait a minute.
That's not a standard.
See, I so wish the Three Stooges would have gone into defense contracting
instead of making short comedy movies.
Would have seen some really interesting stuff.
Upon detonation, the pointed weight would pierce the bag in such a way that the pressurized air inside forces itself out with tremendous energy, which creates a shockwave.
The weight itself will be blown away, but it can be used as a dangerous shrapnel to impale enemy soldiers.
So, uh...
The weight could be split into many pointed objects
designed to seek and destroy...
Seek and destroy?
Any remaining targets.
Advantages.
Air bombs can be literally created out of the blue.
An airplane could carry a bag on the underside
and have a nozzle
where air would be forced into the bag
inflating it.
That sounds exciting.
A sensor would tell the inflation when to stop.
The link comes pre-attached to this bag.
These air bombs are extremely safe.
Wait.
How?
What?
What?
Yes.
And, and, and will not cause the CO2 level to go up or cause fires or radiation poisoning.
Or bombs.
They are, in effect, all natural disadvantages.
Oh, no.
Yeah, let's do a cost-benefit analysis on this.
Once a plane fully inflates an air bomb,
another plane could shoot the bag, piercing it.
Oh, no.
That'd be fun in Microsoft Flight Simulator.
This would create a mid-air explosion,
destroying the plane and the pilot.
The air bomb would not be hard to shoot
because of its size. Carrying an
air bomb the size of a room
may be very clumsy
for the plane and may even cause
its aerodynamic properties to change.
It may. It may.
It may. It may.
Carrying something which is about probably 25
times the size of the plane itself might
have an impact. But it's safe. Natural.
Also, a third, but in last place,
far, far, far
last place, and it's not even worth
mentioning, but the bomb may not be
as effective as a normal atomic
bomb.
I think that I, too,
have played with the little air
things that come in Amazon packages,
and I too
Did you do it with a heart full of spite though?
You know
I think if you had
a G.I. Joe jet and you taped it
to the underside of one
Fat man, little boy, Amazon
package
Yes
Acier
You have a movie coming out uh in the year oh what is it um
uh oh it's 2013 heard of that year i can't wait you have a movie coming out in 2013
and it's called hey she's mine yeah i'm, I'm so full of ideas. It's just ridiculous here.
Let's skip that one.
And who got you so full of ideas?
Oh, well, I mean, I had to share them with the wiki here.
It was Ball Pit Forum user Ameet.
Oh.
That's who got you so full of ideas.
That was fucking really good.
Yeah, thank you.
And thank you to
Ameet for going to
thefpl.us and using the
forum or using the
site. Using Google Docs really to submit.
I took your
awesome segue
and fucking just shat all over it.
You're welcome.
Do you want another crack at it? Nope.
No.
You only get one chance.
Well, I'm not going to squander this chance.
I want to sell you guys on this movie.
I'm going to call this movie, Hey, She's Mine.
Okay.
Now, Michael James and Janice Brie are both rich fiancés now engaged as they prepare themselves for their wedding. But when a mysterious hunk named Alejandro tries to butt in by flirting with Janice to ruin their wedding,
Michael gets himself in another challenge over his future bride.
It's going to premiere sometime last year.
I guess I missed the date.
September 27th, 2013.
Mark it down in your calendars.
Wonder why your calendars grayed out.
Yeah.
All right.
Characters.
This is important.
Michael James Thatcher, who I'm going to cast Channing Tatum for that, in the end gets married to Janice and heads towards California.
Gordon James Thatcher, John Goodman, Michael's father, in the end, sees Janice as a worthy
part of the family.
Janice Brie, um,
Amanda Bynes for that, I think?
Yeah, why not? In the end,
uh, marries Michael and heads for
California with him. In the end? Spoiler alert.
Yeah. In the,
well, you know, maybe in the
butt. Well, hey, you know, you don't want,
you don't want to have your movie be considered, you know, a cash-in of the movie that came out a year after it.
Right, right.
Medina Brie, Famke Jansen, Janice's mother and the true main antagonist.
She hired Alejandro because she didn't like Michael.
In the end, gets scolded by Janice
and was punished
punished
because I guess there's a pun there, by
Crispin.
Let me tell you about Crispin.
Crispin Bree, that's Mel Gibson.
Oh yeah! Good thinking!
Yeah.
That's Janice's father
in the end accepts Michael
and shakes Gordon's hand.
So do you think the Idea Wiki has a
style guide that just
tells people to use the phrase in the end
constantly?
It automatically
replaces all periods with that.
Movie producers love the phrase
in the end.
Jose Hernandez played by Hector Elizondo,
Dennis' butler, uses the same tone as Joe from the Princess Diaries.
In the end, gets a vac-tion to his homeland Portuguese.
That sounds painful.
Okay, yeah.
Father Lucas Nelson, played by Michael Caine.
Again?
Oh, this is the same author as the previous one.
This is definitely the same author.
Yeah.
Michael Caine is his muse.
You might be onto something.
The priest who is marrying Michael and Janice, in the end,
pronounces them husband and wife and has word with Alejandro.
pronounces them husband and wife and has word with Alejandro.
So I can get you all the actors you need,
except for instead of Michael Caine,
I need to get you Rob Brydon doing a Michael Caine impression.
Is that okay?
Shut down production. Just change in the end in the button.
You've got a deal.
Well, let's see about the other guys.
Maybe we can work something out with the other people.
Who else you got? Troy Branch, played by
Russell Brand. Nope! Nope!
Burn down the theater!
Helps Michael
against Alejandro to keep Janice with him.
In the end.
Alejandro Marajute,
played by Alex Gonzalez,
the main antagonist,
his goal is to get Janice as
his. In the end,
got kicked in the groin by Janice with her knee
when he attempts to kiss her and punched
by Michael. So in the end,
in the end, got kicked in the
groin by a
knee. So there's a butt, a foot,
a dick, and a knee
in that phrase.
He gets put, he gets kicked
by Janice, and then he
attempts to kiss her, and then she gets punched by Michael.
Of course. Okay, yeah, absolutely.
Because of the plot twist here, I think.
I feel like there's a lot of development in the third act
of the story.
Everything seems to be happening in the end.
Maybe we could move some of that character development and action into the beginning and middle.
I've got one more thing I want to put in the end here.
Okay.
Apart from that.
Pierce friends.
Jeffrey Donovan, Quincy Jones, Will Smith, and
Bruce Rice. Wait, why don't you have
Quincy Jones play the part of Quincy
Jones?
Reasons.
Oh, okay. I guess Will Smith
is even more expensive than Quincy Jones.
Probably.
Yeah.
Michael's friends as he takes them to the bachelor party.
In the end, takes Alejandro to a junkyard to be punished.
I'm going to use some of your money to write a plot,
because I've only gotten this far,
and then I kind of ran out of steam.
Well, that's all right.
Give me the plot that you have so far.
What's the plot that you have?
Okay.
That's it.
That's all I got.
So we know that this is from the same guy.
Hey, totally unrelated.
I happened to find a summary of a Dirty Dancing remake
that's going to come out this year.
Okay.
It stars Channing Tatum and Amanda Bynes.
Yep.
Yep.
Do you want to know the plot?
Sure.
Sure.
Hey, I found a movie called Highway to Stupidity.
Unrelated to any of these.
It's got good casting, though.
David Spade.
Johnny Depp, Simon Pegg, Ben Stiller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt,
J.K. Simmons, obviously.
Sure.
And here's the plot.
What?
Whoa!
I feel like, I think that question mark, it's not a, I don't know,
it's more of a annoyed, like, what, that's not enough for you?
Grrr!
Come on!
I mean,
Patrick Dempsey plays Garfield
Jonas, the brains of the three,
and he's leading trying to get the chihuahua back,
and the end leads a company called Jonas Bonus.
And you want a
plot? Jonas Bonus?
Jonas?
My mind is blown.
I'd like to point out that somebody has gone through a lot of effort to design a list of parks that will appear in all of the Disneyland's that they want to open around the world.
Such as the one in Indiana, the one in Croatia,
the one in Malaysia,
one in Canada, a second one
in California.
I don't understand why you'd need
a Disneyland inside of Indiana.
The state's so magical
and wonderful.
It's just a great place
regardless. Why would you need to get away?
Magic Kingdom, Ireland. Ireland. Oh, look, it's just a great place regardless. Why would you need to get away?
Magic Kingdom, Ireland.
Oh, look, it's a castle.
How wonderful.
I'm going to read something that Kumquat just found.
Okay, so this is my page.
I made this page on Idea Wiki.
And here's the title of my page that I made.
Here's the title.
SpaghettiOs!
I think those might already exist.
Well, no, it's not.
Look, I'm not saying that I'm the inventor of SpaghettiOs.
I'm not.
I recognize that SpaghettiOs is a product that exists.
But my gears are always turning, man.
I'm always thinking about ways to make shit better, right?
Impossible.
They're perfect.
So how can you improve on SpaghettiOs?
No, no, no, no.
Like when you've eaten as many shrooms as I have, you really get into the mind of a SpaghettiO.
What problem could you possibly have with Spaghetti-Os?
The trouble with Spaghetti-Os is
they don't retain heat long enough.
At least when microwaved according
to the directions on the can, they get cold
very quickly.
The following
are the four ideas
I came up with while eating shrooms on the toilet.
Okay, thicker sauce.
Giving SpaghettiOs a thicker sauce may increase the heat.
May increase the heat cap-ic-tance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That sounds scientific.
It may.
It may.
Okay.
Number two, change in recipe.
Now I know you're thinking to yourself, how the fuck, how dare you?
Change SpaghettiO's recipe to arms to arms.
Hear me out.
Changing the recipe in some other way for better heating could make SpaghettiOs more popular.
Make them out of ceramic.
This also just occurred to me.
A thicker sauce may help with the overall temperature of the pasta.
No.
No, sir.
Oh, a thicker sauce may help with the overall temperature of the pasta.
There it is.
Tempura SpaghettiOs.
Well, there you go.
You got two problems solved.
Hey, since you were already talking about ideas you thought about while doing mushrooms on the toilet,
I want to talk to you about toilet.
I'm not done!
Oh, sorry.
I have two more ideas!
Oh my god.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, we'll get you a toilet thing,
because that sounds fucking great.
Like, do your toilet ideas...
I'm starting to get the spaghettios!
Do your toilet ideas have mushroom?
Like, can it make it better to eat mushrooms on the toilet?
Oh, probably.
Okay, great.
Look, hallowed out shells.
Perhaps.
Hallowed?
Hallowed out shells.
These shells are soulless.
Well, perhaps a hallowed out shell with a little moisture inside
will help the SpaghettiOs keep their
location heat when microwaved.
I am still dealing with this problem.
Give each
SpaghettiO a soul,
and then it'll retain heat.
I consecrate these SpaghettiOs.
Maybe
after eating my mushrooms on the toilet,
I should just eat the SpaghettiOs
rather than stare at them for three hours
and then I wouldn't have a problem with cold SpaghettiOs.
Never mind.
I got idea number four, packaging.
The sauce stored with the noodles in the can
may have something to do with the heat storage of SpaghettiOs.
It's liquid.
It may.
So by having the noodles separated from the sauce,
that may help the noodles from not becoming more.
Woo.
Woo.
This is F plus challenge mode level.
Okay.
From not becoming more sat...
How do I finish that sentence?
Okay.
You're going to pick it up at the end.
Here we go.
Come on, man.
That's easy.
Here we go.
Having the noodles separated from the sauce may help the noodles from not becoming more...
Satu-erated.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
You know,
what might help your problem there
is a microwater.
You put those in a microwater?
Like, I'm surprised
he didn't just come around
to like,
well, maybe some sort of
like heated trough
that I can slowly
pour the food into my mouth
at a consistent temperature.
Like some sort of chocolate hose.
Yes.
You're going to be a pretty girl.
Hey, so you guys want to hear about
toilet? Yep! Yeah?
I've already eaten all these SpaghettiOs.
Good. Good. You. I've already eaten all these spaghettios. Good.
Good.
You're going to need toilet.
Going to the bathroom doesn't have to be a boring, lazy thing to do.
Instead, it could be a clean, informative way to learn about your body.
There's got to be a better way?
Yeah.
Laser toilet.
So this is like, wait, what?
Laser toilet.
You told me lasers.
Is this like the Venture Brothers learning bed except you shit in it?
Oh, boy, is it.
Oh, great.
Laser toilet.
Lasers in the bowl of a toilet can collect incoming data down from the top of the bowl,
having lasers constantly scan the bowl ring for falling waste.
It can sense how much power is needed to flush the bowl, how much toilet paper will be needed,
and how much air freshener
to spray out how much junk food has been
eaten. This data can then be
printed on toilet paper. What?
To have a current
printout of health status.
You know, Tegasinski tried to warn us about this exact
thing.
Transparent
toilet bowl.
Oh, good.
Whoa, boy.
The bowl could be made of a
transparent substance.
Kind of like plastic or something.
Like what?
Oh, yeah. A kind of plastic
or something.
You could implement
artistries into it.
Whoa.
Artistry? I love artistries.
Like colors or beads or whatever.
Oh.
Okay.
I don't know.
It's a kind of shitting spell.
Yeah.
Toilet email.
Jesus Christ.
A LCD screen could be installed inside a toilet for men so that as they begin to urinate,
they are able to log in by the authentication of their urine.
Why won't Elon Musk return my calls?
They can then proceed around the screen to various emails by peeing in
different directions on the screen.
Similar to that of a mouse pointer.
Double clicking would need to be done somehow.
Yeah,
that would need to be done somehow. Yeah, that would need to be done.
By flushing the toilet, it logs out of the email and removes the waste.
You mean like spam?
No, it actually flushes the toilet.
Oh, okay.
Bubble.
A bubble created by soap or some other bubbly solution can be created above the water so the smell of the waste in the bowl does not leak out.
Nope.
No, that doesn't work at all.
Oh, it does.
Oh, okay.
Never mind.
The entering object can be sprayed with the same type of solution so it can enter the bubble without penetrating the big bubble, therefore encasing the smell of the waste.
without penetrating the big bubble,
therefore encasing the smell of the waste.
As in... Sorry.
As the toilet is flushed,
the bubble goes down with the water and waste,
leaving the remaining air in the bathroom breathable.
So it's a sentient bubble that eats shit?
Yeah.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
I feel like that's going to be an insurrection at some point.
Those bubbles are going to be displeased with their lot in life.
I got a whole other article about toilet paper.
I'm sure you do.
Good.
Motorized toilet paper spinner.
God damn it.
Toilet paper that has a little motor on it so it's able to spin automatically for the person going to the bathroom.
The battery could be stored in the tube
of the toilet paper spindle. The motor
could also be there and spins in a
similar way a conveyor belt.
This makes it all-encompassing.
Hey, Sierra.
What annoys you?
Do you have anything that annoys you in your life?
Well, you know, like, I don't eat junk food a lot,
but when I do, it's those cans, potato chip cans, you know?
Like, I get so annoyed when I'm eating a can of potato chips.
Because Pringles taste like shit?
Is that why?
Well, no, actually.
Unbelievably, that's not it.
Okay.
I can reach those top ones fine,
and then the bottom ones just hide there.
God damn it.
You know, it just takes me...
It's probably the wrong way to retrieve those chips
that are further down the can.
It just takes me so much time and effort to grab
those chips.
The chips just stay at the bottom of the can, doing
that John Cena hand face move.
You guys are
making fun, but this
article was written by a quadriplegic.
I, too,
need a potato chip
magazine for the potato chip gun that goes in my mouth.
You know, you got it.
That's not a bad idea.
Let me explain.
Nerf Pringles.
Instead of my hand going to the chips, why not have the chips go to my hand?
So, like, the bottom of the can can be adjustable so as to move up and down.
That way the potato chips can be raised up so you
wouldn't have to reach all the way in what a lovely life you must have no life sounds terrific
oh you can you can save i will waste by bringing your own pringles can to the store and having
them fill it up i got some can design notes here too so it's like you know like potato chips are
oval and the can is circular does it just make any sense why can't the can be elliptical another benefit to the elliptical
cans is they waste less paper to wrap them and they'd fit on a truck better no no no
absolutely not why would an ellipsis use less material than a circle?
And why would an ellipsis pack better?
It doesn't make any sense.
This is giving me an idea for a really awesome Kickstarter
called the Gamer's Chip Clip.
I just want you to know something, Jimmy Franks, right?
I am standing up.
Standing up right now.
Wow.
As a reward for that idea, or that joke,
would you give me some great ideas for live improvement?
Oh, shit, yeah.
Yeah.
Self-improvement is my whole thing.
All right.
So I'm going to lay down some truth for you guys today.
All right.
Okay, what's that?
I know you've been feeling down.
Maybe your life just isn't going the direction you want it.
That's true.
I got some great ideas for live improvement.
All right.
All right.
Prepare yourself.
Sharpen both ends of a pencil, which does not have an eraser on either end
what
man that's
that's crazy
light a candle at both ends
contribute to wiki as such as this one
that will improve your live
okay
very much
pour glue into a small glass of water
mix well and store it separately.
Or put it back into the bottle it came out of.
Oh.
All right, that one was a little weird, but I got more.
Okay, great.
That's fine.
They don't all have to be winners.
Just half of them.
Search stuff up for crying out loud.
Did Steve Brule write this?
Recycle things and use them for other tasks,
such as secret safes, decoration, or arts and crafts.
Okay, sure.
That sounds good.
What else?
What else did you thought of?
Give to charity.
That's solid.
Yeah.
Write down instructions to whatever directional thing you want to do.
Good God.
Write down instructions to whatever directional thing you want to do.
Good God.
Use the gigabattery slot of a Brock and Simon game as a safe to hold stuff in.
You see, in the 70s, there was a game called Simon.
It was made by Milton Bradley.
It made noises when you pushed the color.
Anyway, practice parkour in order to move around with speed and precision.
Can I practice parkour on a giant Simon?
Study.
It helps with everything.
And finally, bunny hopping.
Repeatedly jumping to go faster than running.
Works in real life, so keep hopping!
Whoa, does that even work if I'm holding my rocket launcher?
Keep hopping, brother!
I got an idea. What's that?
I got an idea.
What's that? One weird
beard. What?
One weird beard.
That's what I call ya!
Thanks.
A one weird beard is an animated TV series created by To Be Announced.
That is all.
Thanks for stopping by.
Do you need your parking validated?
ACR, would you read that last link there, please?
Oh, oh shit.
Yeah, I know some science.
What's that?
Okay, you know, energy transformed to matter?
Well, we all know that matter can be transformed into energy through splitting an atom.
Einstein proved that.
But could energy be transformed back to matter?
Well, you solved that.
I copyrighted that shit.
You gotta pay me.
Wow, I do.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Done.
God damn it, legally binding Wikia.
Fuck yeah!
Kumquatsop,
would you tell me a little bit about
the WikiRadio?
WikiRadio? I love
WikiRadio. Yeah, we all do.
The idea
is to have a
few intelligent people
All right, all right, all right. We'll find them. is to have a few intelligent people.
Alright, alright, alright.
We'll find them.
Three would probably be optimal.
Running a radio show,
each having own computer connected to
www.
www.
Dot nothing.
Okay.
That's a really good TLD.
Yeah.
The most secure one.
They would search for interesting articles
on Wikipedia and read them.
It would be best
if they would also debate.
It really would be best. It would be best if they would also debate. It really would be best.
It would.
If none of them were left with anything
they would consider worth
reading, they could
always play a song or
have a caller request an article.
Oh.
Take a look
at WikiTV.
Alright, I'm on it. did and by request here's energy transformed to matter
oh thanks boots yes uh we are at that sad but wonderful point where we have to choose
oh god oh god oh god oh god okay that's okay i think i can do this okay sorry sad but wonderful point where we have to choose. Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Okay.
That's okay.
I think I can do this.
Okay.
Sorry.
I probably can't open my gun case right now, but okay.
We're all safe for a moment, at least.
Okay.
I'm going to give you a couple options.
Okay?
Okay.
Number one, tails in the fleshlight tails tails as in like in in oh
the flesh light so like tails tails tails from the dark side tails and the flesh light okay oh
okay that's that's that's option one okay uh option two is a voice texting machine.
Okay.
Okay.
And option three is the script for Nintendo on Ice.
Oh, man.
Wow.
I pick one.
I'm going to go with Tales and the Fleshlight.
Tales and the Fleshlight.
Terrific.
Tales and the Fleshlight.
Intro.
Tales and the Fleshlight. Terrific. Tales and the Fleshlight. Intro. Tales and the Fleshlight is a game about masturbation.
I don't think you need
any more than that. I think you're done.
Pack up and go home.
Story.
Logic failure.
Sure is.
Controls.
Press A to go up and B to go down.
Press X for massive
ejaculation.
Press Y
to say bad words.
Press the trigger buttons to go
full throttle and press the R, B
and L, B buttons to die.
What?
Grandma, no. Grandma,
no. X is the massive
ejaculation.
The following music will be in this game.
Okay.
Sex.
I like that song.
The projected release date is slow down.
Slow down.
Oh, but I'm masturbating.
Okay, fine.
And special stages.
Every few fucks, Tails will enter a special stage and fight a Dr. Robotnik boss.
To beat him, Tails must collect 50 rings with his boner and do five cock push-ups before jumping on Dr. Robotnik and fucking him.
Careful.
If Dr. Robotnik crushes you,
it's over.
Oh, no!
Tales in the Fleshlight.
Does that mean it's over
because that's when you come?
Yes. That's when I
come.
Oh.
I know that you know the
the rule so far has been
that
pick one and then the ones that don't get
picked get cast to a side but
I feel like we'd be missing something if we missed
out on the voice texting machine so
let me just briefly give you
the voice texting machine
sometimes you need to send someone
a quick text message and your hands are busy.
I know this happens to me many times.
Well, with this system attached to your
phone, you just have to push a button
to activate the voice commands
and say new text message.
Then when it says speak your message
now, tell it what to say and it will
type it. And when you say send, it
will automatically send it.
I have like one
problem. Oh, you like it, right?
It's a great idea? Like, wouldn't it be awesome?
What's that? One little problem. You say
like, it's for when your hands are busy, but you want
me to push a button. I think
you need to take that one back.
Damn it. Well, the world
will just never know.
They'll never know.
An automatic texting machine.
It's probably like a $200
plug-in that you can plug onto your
phone. Yeah.
What did we learn from all of this, Fplus?
I learned
I gotta be rich.
Anything is possible.
You gotta believe. Did you learn to be a believer? Yeah, I going to be rich. Anything is possible. You've got to believe.
Did you learn to be a believer?
Yeah, I learned to be a believer
and a believer.
Well, you know, follow through
isn't important. It's the idea that
counts.
Let the engineers and the drudges work
the rest of the details.
We've got to get this information out there.
I've learned that
Channing Tatum and Amanda Bynes are a power couple.
I've learned that I've been
wasting a lot of time by only having one end
of a pencil sharpened.
I learned that I've been wasting
a lot of time not having blue and yellow
checkerboard backgrounds on all my websites.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fix that immediately.
If you want to see a blue and yellow
checkerboard background on a website, go to poop.computer.
Poop.computer.
Come qua saps.
Domain for the ages.
There's a concept to American living that the idea is the thing that matters.
And that's what stuff like Shark, likes to feed on of like,
Oh,
I have a,
I have a,
I have a terrific idea.
And like these ideas,
I mean,
these all suck,
but even if they did not suck,
which again,
these ideas all suck,
but even if they did not suck,
ideas are so fucking pointless that like,
I,
I,
I'm genuinely like frustrated by people like really getting excited about ideas because that doesn't matter shipping matters you know like
like actually making making the thing hopefully making it better but more importantly fucking
doing it is the thing that matters like writing down your idea is the most dumb
use of your time
because nobody gives
a shit. Because they all
also have their own ideas for
a square Pringles can.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Like, seriously, for a moment, there's
10 million jackasses with that ideas.
There's very few people who can actually make it happen.
Ideas are worthless. Thank you, Lemon. You've inspired me to finally finish my 5 000 page my little pony
inflation fan fiction thank you you've changed my life it's something it's something you see in tech
all the time like it's not really actually about the idea it's about like doing it better and and
that you can you can make the thing just better than the thing
that exists already because you know friendster's not around and if you want to see jimmy frank's
50 000 word nao raimo my little pony inflation fetish document where can you go lemon you can
go to thefpl.us uh it's a wonderful place uh that has a link to Ball Pit.
And that's really all that matters.
We've got a game show going, and you should go watch it,
because ACR hosts it.
It's very fun.
And goodbye.
Bye. When we are dancing and you're dangerously near me,
I get ideas.
I get ideas.
I want to hold you so much closer.