The F Plus - 147: This Episode Doesn't Need A Title, Man
Episode Date: August 17, 2014The understanding and definition of "truth" is constantly redefined, expanded, and re-evaluated with new information as it is learned. Fortunately for us, the brave citizenry of shroomery.org hav...e taken more than their share of mind-expanding drugs, and now they are ready to share their knowledge. Knowledge about how to be a Muslim without believing in the Koran, or the best comedy routines on 9/11 conspiracy theories. This week, The F Plus learns what happens when you sit on a cake.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So, Stog, you are 7734591202.
Lemon, what have you done?
You've launched the nukes.
Why would they store them on Shroomery?
The fun place nobody would ever think.
Oh, sweet my fucking lady.
Please let me Like you too.
Great Brian image.
Of days not good.
Flies.
Caught my dick.
Nervous symptoms.
This is the F+.
Your place on the internet for terrible but mind-expanding things.
Read with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Ring here.
There's one song throughout
the Sirius that caught my ear, and I
was just wondering if these were real songs
or musicians playing Wee for Er.
Kumquats up!
President Coconuthead
is sending troops back to Iraq.
Hmm.
Sorry.
Stog!
Poking girls'
tummies is becoming a lost
art.
He is back on the
internet on lefthanderadio.com
Adam Bozarth. And this is showing
me this failure to find one
fucking comedian taking the
piss out of the official story
of 9-11 that the state of comedy is right up its conformist arse.
Restore my faith in comedians.
Anyone.
And lemon.
It occurred to me that mushrooms could be a performance-enhancing drug, and after a
bit of research, I discovered that mushrooms were once used by Olympic athletes as that exact
thing.
Hey, F+. Hey, la. La.
Hey, F+. Hey, Lennon.
Hello.
Have you ever thought about what our purpose is in this world?
Nope.
Toilets?
Whoever's editing that, leave a pause.
Okay. And then just leave. Nope. whoever's editing that leave a pause okay
and then just leave nope
perfect well uh some people have
uh and they have taken
something called uh
magic mushrooms you mean drugs
well no I mean the specific
kind of drug is magic spelled with a k
that's a different kind
of mushroom.
Mushrooms, if you've never been a teenager,
are something that are given to you in the cellophane that wraps around cigarette packs.
And then you eat some, and then you forget that you ate some,
and then you eat more, and then you have a terrible night,
and you watch Marathon of Frasier.
I assume this is what everyone's experienced.
I have a feeling there's a bit of personal experience in this explanation.
I thought those were the drugs that you,
they taste like if Cheetos didn't have dust on them,
and then you end up underneath your coffee table crying in your bathrobe,
realizing you're a spirit made of water.
Is that not...
That's also a possibility.
I don't know.
Based on the routine you just described, you just described Hot Pockets.
I have a question.
Does the drug dealer hand you the Frasier DVD set with your mushrooms, or...?
I thought they were the drug that made your girlfriend stop
making you hug the cat.
These are all incidents
that presumably have happened to somebody
other than us.
But there is a community
called the Shroomery,
that's shroomery.org,
where fans
of mushrooms convene to
talk about their experiences
about mushrooms, but also about
this world that we live in.
So,
in this podcast, we've discussed
the topic of masturbation
perhaps more than once.
You mean masturbation?
No, I don't.
I mean masturbation, No, I don't. I mean masturbation.
But this red raindrop is going to give us a replacement for masturbation.
Adam, if you'll start us off here, your red raindrop.
So on Canada Day, I met up with a few friends to go see fireworks. Before we went, we smoked a few bowls of weed and we just hung out and talked.
Before we went, we smoked a few bowls of weed, and we just hung out and talked.
I had a crush on my friend's GF since I met her like three years ago,
and she started to realize it.
As I entered the room, she was sitting, her face lit up. What point of Canada are you from?
You seem to be going more south.
I'm from the California section of Canada.
Oh, okay, great, great.
Okay.
We've been annexed already. So can.
So can, yeah.
As I entered the room where she was sitting,
her face lit up like a light.
Her boyfriend then responded,
Why are you so happy?
And then, you have been acting grumpy for the past 20
minutes. Until I came in the room
And he noticed this
She had no explanation
Alright
Keep going
I hope we get to the fireworks
As we sat there we began to smoke some marijuana buckets
What?
That's how you know you're a drug pro.
You have a drug problem.
Okay, we just throw this marijuana into the bucket,
then we light it on fire,
and we all just push our hands in and breathe in the fumes.
To be fair, that's better than the marijuana famous bowl.
Oh, my.
I like the marijuana double down.
Where it's in between two things of magic mushrooms.
This girl that was there had her weed in a coffin tin.
What?
What's a coffin tin?
Like, is it a coffin made out of tin?
I feel like I've seen this before where it's like a cigarette thing
and then you put your cigarettes in a coffin
because you're edgy.
It's a really large tin
that you put coffins in.
I just looked it up.
It's just a tin box in the shape of a fucking coffin.
Yep.
Okay.
And my marijuana was at least 10x potent
than hers. And she stared in at least 10x potent than hers.
And she stared in awe at it.
My friend's girlfriend, let's call him X.
Sure went on.
Look at my marijuana and noticed, and voiced my thoughts down to every letter.
It was as if she knew exactly what I was thinking.
She was hinting at a fantasy I've had about her with butterflies. It was as if she knew exactly what I was thinking.
She was hinting at a fantasy I've had about her with butterflies.
So let me summarize the next ten paragraphs.
Oh my god.
You got high and watched fireworks.
Now then.
And then UFC.
If you'll skip to after the fireworks were over.
After the fireworks were over, we went to some guy's house.
We met there and watched a UFC fight in his garage.
This is where I felt the most attracted and magnetized to her.
Wait, you got high and then you got horny?
You're weird. I got high, watched fireworks, watched dudes punch each other, and then my boner got real hard.
They know fireworks at the UFC match.
I want to suck your cock.
Oh, fuck, man.
They didn't punch each other.
They probably just mostly hugged.
I found her by my side, in front, and behind me, almost touching me.
As I thought of her, she slowly swam through the air into my bubble. Ooh, dear.
She sat a gray cat that was at this house and asked her boyfriend if they should get a cat like that.
He refused.
After I say, I have a cat just like that. He saw that
they was a
strong spiritual connection between us.
It's always a problem
when you're trying to hit on a girl
and her boyfriend's there
and he sees souls.
It always fucking ruins everything.
Fucking cock block.
The music played here was more...
Sorry.
The music played here was even more revealing.
It seems like every song that came on was about me, her, and her jealous boyfriend.
His name was Jesse.
boyfriend. His name was Jesse.
So you're listening to Rick Springfield.
It was unreal.
It felt
like the radio was talking
to us and pointing out
our thoughts about each other.
That is when I realized
I was in love with her.
Not when I was
attracted to her at the beginning of the story.
No, no, no.
Now it's gotten even
deeper. We returned back
to their apartment and smoked a
few more bowls.
In addition to the buckets!
As we finished,
she crept up very close to me,
causing me to touch her breast.
She didn't jump back, rather slowly gazes into my eyes after realizing the magnetism in the air.
So your hands were just in the honking position.
She positioned her boobs.
I was just trying to tune in Tokyo.
I'm just going to go like this, and if your boobs get in the way...
Then it's all your fault.
After that, she said, what did she say?
What did she say?
After this, she said,
You can sleep her tonight if you want.
I think that was the voice inside your head.
You can sleep her tonight if you want, and then carve her up.
And her boyfriend refused.
Okay.
It was as if spiritually I was replacing him.
I mean, I guess.
I mean, sort of.
Because you're also doing it physically.
Yeah, blatantly I was replacing him sexually.
And she was trying to integrate me into her reality.
That's what you call it?
Her reality?
Yeah.
That sweet reality.
I'm replacing him because he's a robot.
And I'm a robot too.
The love robot. And I'm a robot, too.
The love robot.
Anyways, after this, I got home and the love felt intoxicating, as did the amounts of weed I smoked.
Oh, right.
And that might have had an effect.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was intoxicating, too.
I wanted to puke every time I thought of her.
So romantic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was intoxicating, too. I wanted to puke every time I thought of her.
So romantic.
And the struggle she goes through with her current BF.
I know she... Sorry.
I know she realizes she would be much happier with me,
but she is trapped in a relationship with him.
I imagined us as one.
And I felt as though I became a part of her thoughts.
I could access hers too.
I imagined our bodies as one,
and it felt like bliss.
But the puking feeling always returned.
After reality hit.
So it really felt like bliss.
She's made out of Jim Beam.
Oh man, this girl's so great, but she has a
boyfriend.
The point I'm trying to make,
this always gets me.
What point have you been trying to make
over the course of all these,
this whole paragraph?
Can you summarize everything for us, the course of all these, this whole paragraph? The point I'm trying to make is, I do not have any urge to masturbate.
After this, I am instead overcome with this feeling or love, and my heart tightens up.
So this is the sequel to Clockwork Orange?
I just want some advice on what I should do here.
I doubt we could ever be together considering the circumstances of her life,
but I feel like my life is pointless without her.
Sure, boyfriends and girlfriends don't have to break up.
Yeah.
Come call out your Preparation H.
Hello.
My name is Preparation H.
I have
four shrooms out of five.
How many times have you posted in this forum, Preparation H?
I've posted
13,680 times.
My status
is currently tripping
and my location is Amsterdam.
Wait, so you have to like...
You're in Amsterdam, US.
Yes, Amsterdam, USA.
So, uh, Amsterdam.
Yes.
And also,
I was last on this forum
three days ago.
Hope he's okay.
Yes.
And my tagline is apply daily.
Yeah.
My point to you is, you'll be wanking soon enough!
And Preparation H, what's in your signature?
My signature is one broken image file, a text that says come say that at the gathering
see what happens. Oh, I'm a juggalo?
Oh, good!
See the juggalo!
Oh, fantastic.
I'm so excited.
And also I have
a series of
three red
chevrons going into
a green paper airplane
saying preparation H
next to a purple
tube. If you click on it, it zooms
up at you.
I feel like maybe we've learned a little bit too much information
about preparation H.
Hey, come say that at the
gathering, see what happens.
Stog, I want to learn about
two different things. I want to learn about LSD
and I also want to learn about reptilians.
Will you tell me something about both of them?
Oh, good.
Oh, hold on.
Hold on, I gotta see
if you're... I'm trying to figure out if you're real or not.
Are you real? Yeah, you're pretty mushy.
We're all real down here.
Okay.
Okay, just making sure.
My avatar is like a stoned mushroom video game man, and I'm bored.
Okay, fair enough.
This is something I wrote about reptilians in LSD.
Okay.
Has anyone else ever seen reptilians on LSD?
I have heard the same from DMT as well.
Wait, so you saw reptilians and the reptilians were all on LSD?
Yeah.
I would love to see that.
And I bet David Icke would, too.
I just go to the zoo and I throw a bunch of LSD tabs at the Komodo dragon.
He just eats that shit up.
You're why Sharon Stone's husband lost a toe.
On every one of my high-dose trips, I see the same reptilians.
And from a couple Google searches, it's been pretty common since the 60s.
Sure, right, yep.
I'm still debating friend or foe, but I watched my GF turn into a reptilian.
What's convincing me was the human race's natural form.
Friend or foe.
I guess I've never heard the theory that, yes, reptilians totally exist and are part of our society, but they're nice.
They're nice reptiles.
They're reptilians.
They walk all over your back.
It's like a massage.
And that we, as humans, create our reality, and it's not a part of the reality that we
have created for ourselves.
It goes a lot deeper than that, but my research will continue.
Research, meaning doing more LSD.
I have a disclaimer.
Anything posted from this account is
made up for the entertainment of others.
This account is a complete work
of fiction. It's not illegal to
get bored and make up stories.
Authors do it all the time, so fuck
you.
Yeah, okay.
Well, I've got something to
say about that.
All right, what's that?
I am one, two, three, four, go.
One, two, three, five, six, go. Never done LSD, but I see a lot of reptilian features on high doses of mushrooms.
Okay.
The skin of my ex-girlfriend's arms and face had turned into keeled iridescent scales once.
I believe that's confirmation.
Sounds off-putting.
So, sounds off-putting.
Mm-hmm.
But it was actually super sexy and amazingly beautiful.
Huh.
Trade.
Okay.
Trade what?
I don't know we cannot proceed my name is
peace of mind one
and there's two things I want to say
first of all fuck you
secondly I
masturbate to
Allison Brie anyway here's my post
I've had this
same thing many times the lizard lizard-type hallucinations.
Not quite sure what it means or if it means anything at all.
I'm not one to take my drug-induced hallucinations too seriously.
Wait, there's more words after this.
I'd just like to say that when you said that your name was Peace of Mind,
I hit Control-F and typed in P-E-A-C-E.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No.
Amazing.
Shroom Ring's very good with its puns.
Anyway, we just fucking...
Okay, so I take drugs that make me hallucinate,
and that is exactly what I get.
Hallucinations.
Thanks, drug dealer.
We just take those and try to find some divine revelation
for what may be just a meaningless
hallucination projected by the subconscious on the other hand who's to say it doesn't mean anything
maybe our hallucinations somehow reveal secret truths about the universe that's not my thing
but it's up to the user and none of my business anyway however i am fascinated by it because i've
experienced it as well. I just think
it has something to do with our subconscious
in that it's just projecting these thoughts into reality.
Oh, Alison Brie.
Alison Brie.
Do you like my six-eyed
cat?
It's just drugs.
It's just hallucination. It doesn't mean anything
except for the fact that it really
does.
Kumquads up.
We're going to learn a little bit something
about time travel.
I love time travel. Great, me too.
So does Trip 2-3.
I'm Trip 2-3.
I'm a Kratom freak.
I've been pondering
this for the a while now,
but there's so many loopholes
to make it just not
work.
I've always wanted
to make a stone slash granite
plaque or something that says something
along the lines of
future beings, if you can time travel
meet me at this point on
4X June 1st, 2014.
Then bury it in my backyard and see if it works.
Okay.
So, yeah, sounds like a foolproof plan.
But a few loopholes I thought of.
You may not touch it at all after you bury it.
What?
This is where it gets confusing.
Oh, okay. That's fine. We're
ready. You got us on the hook,
so we're fine. Don't worry about it.
If I unbury it before the
date specified to meet and place
it back into the same spot
before the date of meet,
I believe I am okay.
What?
Hi, I'm on drugs.
This is the classic paradox,
Strodinger's idiot.
That's, uh...
For the love of, that's a pretty good drawing
he just put out for you there.
Yeah.
If no one has met me on the
specified date, and I unbury it
after such date, I
screwed it up! Well, I'm
sure you've never screwed up anything before, so
we got faith. No, no. Uh,
that would mean that my movement of
the plaque was the very reason of why
it didn't work. But
what if I put it back? Will they
come to meet me on the same date in the past now?
Oh, God.
I hate this series of Quantum Leap.
This reboot is bullshit.
Where he never Quantum Leaps.
Damn it, Ziggy!
Come on!
I have a great idea for how to meet a time traveler.
I don't want to do anything, because what if I do something and ruin it?
Oh, my God. Another loophole. Oh, no. For how to meet a time traveler, I don't want to do anything, because what if I do something and ruin it?
Oh, my God.
Another loophole.
Oh, no.
How will the future beings be able to calculate my exact date?
How future do you think it's going to go?
I mean, the future is infinite, really. Do you think that it's going to go so far in the future that people don't know what our calendar is like, but they can still read English?
You're much deeper in his fantasy than I thought you'd be, Adam.
I feel like you're buying a lot of this.
That's because he's integrating into his reality.
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to help, and that's foolish.
integrating into his reality. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to help, and that's
foolish.
No. Let's say
where the alien beings
that find the plaque.
Where the alien beings find the plaque.
Why are you burying it in your backyard?
The only person that's going to find it is a future property
order that goes, what?
Fuck. Throw it out.
Yeah. Obviously
we want to be able to read it at first.
Then we decode it.
Are you one of the aliens now?
June 1st, 2014.
June 1st, 2014.
June 1st, 2014.
From what?
What?
So, okay.
All right.
So, I understand this correctly.
Is that the aliens are going to find this and no other literature about our society.
Listen, I'm in a hurry.
And they have the ability to travel back in time.
Yes.
So it's like, oh, so why wouldn't they just go back in time, find out all this interesting stuff, and then like, oh, wait, well, we we gotta meet that loser who buried a stone in his backyard.
Why is this on the agenda?
Well, he left a rock.
What point?
The random point in which
our civilization began?
When you buried this?
Is that when the civilization began?
No, that's when it ended.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
When's that exactly?
I guess my only hope would be to find the exact age of the universe and use that age as reference.
Good, get to work on that.
Yeah.
Which is, like, impossible to know the exact, exact age.
You would have to get that age down to the very last minute.
Or the whole thing would be thrown off.
Oh, then it would be a waste of time!
And
in the grand tradition of the Shrewbury
and conclusion sentences,
I interest myself.
Well, somebody
should. I hope so.
If you bored yourself, I couldn't imagine what kind of horror that would be like.
Boots, you have a question, don't you?
Do I?
Yeah, you totally do.
Okay.
You've had a question for some time.
You just haven't had the strength or the courage to ask it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just want to know, why do vehicles explode so easily?
Hey, what's your...
I see someone
trying to parallel park, and the
moment they backed into another car, the car
exploded. Hey, what's
your name, and are you a liberal pussy?
Yeah, I'm Anna Perna
1, and I'm a liberal pussy. I'm I'm Anna Perna One and I'm a liberal
pussy. I'm three mushrooms out of five.
Alright, alright.
Anyway, your question? And I'm stoned.
Sure. That's your job.
Of course.
Yeah, why do vehicles
explode so easily? They do
explode quite easily. Very low
speeds required and a double
front-rear collision.
And deaths in such explosions are inevitably
slow and agonizing in many
cases.
Yeah, you guys have seen Top Secret, right?
Yeah?
Okay.
The victims were still alive
after the vehicles had melted and
died excruciating deaths a few days later.
The vast majority of the victims are women, which makes me wonder, whoever
designed these death traps isn't a
misogynist.
You know what they
designed those cigarette lighters for?
They're to put your dick in.
You know, I feel
like sometimes in this podcast we get questions and we never have a very good answer to these questions.
And that's a problem.
It's a problem that needs a solution.
So we need...
This is a question that needs to be answered.
Stog, if you'll take shroomism, please.
Shroomism.
Shroomism has the answer to this question.
Shroomism. Okay. My name is shroomism. Shroomism has the answer to this question. Shroomism.
Okay.
My name is Shroomism.
Before you proceed, how many posts do you have on this forum?
I have 57,597 posts.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Look, I live in the ninth dimension, so have all this free time so fucking lay off.
So that's why he can give definitive answers.
Okay, are you ready for my answer?
Yep. Okay, you really ready?
This is gonna blow your socks off. You have your
helmet on? Yeah. You strapped in?
Fucking, I got my podcasting helmet, obviously.
Yeah, I'm figuratively strapped in.
So why do vehicles explode so
easily, shroomism?
Because gas.
Alright, great.
Terrific.
Thank you.
This is me dropping the mic and walking the hell away.
Unsafe at any dose.
Thanks.
Very nice.
Very nice.
Hey, guys.
My name's Team Killer.
Oh, Team.
I heard Team. Team Killer. No, not Team Killer. Just Team Killer. Oh, Team. I heard Team.
Team Killer.
No, not Team Killer.
Just Team Killer.
Oh, yeah.
I play a lot of chivalry modern warfare.
Anyway.
Trigger warning.
Okay, so Team Killer.
Does anybody know anything about Islam?
I need some help with something.
Okay, here we go.
I want to be Muslim,
except I don't believe in the Quran
at all. Is there a way
I can do this? Yes,
probably. I don't believe in the Quran.
No, that's
perfectly acceptable.
It's not capitalized, but it's a correct spelling.
They're all
correct spellings.
Okay, so
then Stog Shiversblood.
Shiversblood.
Sure.
Civil rights activist.
Yep.
21,238 posts. Don't fuck with me.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm from the land of the free, USA.
Alright, don't pad your part.
Don't fuck with me. If not Koran, then the free, USA. Don't fudge your part. Don't fuck with me.
If not Koran,
then bibble, bibble, bibble.
LeftHandRadio.com
Bible goes to heaven, so I say
Bible.
I also drop my mic and then I
walk out.
Okay, look.
Bible's gone to Heaven? Bible's Gone to Heaven!
Bible's Gone.
Okay, so let me elucidate my point a little bit further.
Okay, so Muslims are so cool.
I would totally be Islam if I didn't have to believe in the Koran,
which is now a separate spelling than
originally, I don't know if I learned something about the Quran or, you know, whatever.
Anyway, if I didn't have to believe in the Quran and Muhammad because that shit is stupid.
Then what's cool about them?
The kind of like the knit hats are pretty fetching.
Yeah, but you can pick those up.
Is it like, oh, I like how they don't take shit.
Never mind.
I don't like the rest of the thread.
Okay.
I like the fifth element.
Just ends it with, this thread sucks.
That's the truest thing we've read here.
There are some great gifs on this forum, though.
That's something I'll give it.
Oh, they've kept it real.
All right.
So, Kumqu quats up.
Yes.
Grave here wrote a lot of words.
We don't need to read all of them.
But the first two paragraphs are worth it.
Excuse you.
I'm no longer known as Grave.
Oh, what are you now known as?
Scruff.
That's how I eat my spaghetti.
My name is the same sound that occurs when you sit on a cake.
Only Stog.
Nobody else in the world can make that joke.
And for those listening to you out there,
Stog will be demonstrating his cake sitting at F Plus Live.
October 5th!
Squawmph.
Yes, my name is Squawmph.
Yep.
If you read this thread and have nothing to contribute
besides your bat shit,
I do not wish to hear about it.
Fair enough. Don't listen to this podcast.
Alright.
I'm looking for a conversation, not a flame war.
Alright. I do magic for a conversation, not a flame war. Alright.
I do magic!
With a K!
Congratulations!
Where's that Boston salesman that would say,
McGick?
I do McGick!
I can't
explain how it works.
And I doubt I will ever be able to.
I truly,
I never truly believed in magick before because I never experienced it myself until recently.
In the past year, I've recovered memories that I had long suppressed.
I've always been able to reach through the veil
even before I knew that I was doing it.
Hmm.
Alright.
Through my psychedelic
shamanic journey,
many things from my past
have been revealed to me.
Oh.
I'm now a Spider-Man villain.
Those are called subpoenas.
You're supposed to show up to court.
Scramphman fights Spider-Man the next issue.
Yeah.
I've come to find out that in my universe,
magic is not only possible,
but somewhat normal for me to do.
Somewhat normal?
I mean,
what is normal, really?
I've been practicing.
Alright.
Yep. No, I'm not
talking... I'm not taking
about ritualistic
neo-pagan magic.
Yeah, me neither.
I'm talking about
manifestation of one's true perception on the physical, pagan magic. Yeah, me neither. I'm talking about manifestation
of one's true
perception on the physical,
spiritual, and worlds
beyond. Well then yeah, you are
talking about that same thing.
It's the same thing. That's how they
describe it.
Uh, the last
instance of my magic
happened the other night, and I would like to share it.
Oh, I don't think you should.
No.
Nope.
I want to hear about your magic experience.
Instead, so Montreth put this document together.
Thank you, Montreth.
Yes, thank you very much, Montreth.
And she has broken this up into chapters.
The chapter that we were on there is called the Posted While Obviously High section.
I don't know why she named it that, but, you know, I guess she made assumptions.
And we are going to skip now to this next section which is called
the terrible ideas slash
advice from stoners section
hooray
wait
isn't that this whole website
yes
okay so
this post is called
I just acquired $5,000
okay
I have just acquired $5,000. Okay.
I have just acquired $5,000. Ask me how money-making scheme makes
were you working from you.
It was in a fair trade.
Oh, what's your name?
Oh, my name is Learning Sponge.
Oh, so you must have gained a lot of knowledge
over these years to be able to
properly function in our society.
Yeah, $7,513 post-worth. I'm cranky.
He's getting enough knowledge to acquire $5,000.
Don't fuck with him. Yeah, my avatar
is a spinning, 3D gold leaf.
Yeah, but it's even shaky.
It's not even a good...
And where are you located, Learning
Sponge? Uh, Peyote
Sunset, Nevada.
Not sure that that's a
city, but... Just another Peyote Sunset, Nevada. Not sure that that's a city.
Just another peyote sunset.
And how many posts have you made in two years?
7,513.
I'm seriously considering getting a Russian mail order bride.
Is it really worth it?
I think she'll dig me.
I just don't want to waste my money.
I don't want to get a...
I was going to say I don't want to get a lemon one,
but that doesn't make any sense.
Is she going to call me pre-Durac all day long
like the last one did?
I hope that joke makes sense for somebody.
No, I don't.
I hope that joke makes sense for nobody
but Stog.
Stog, you're Fee?
Hi, I'm Fee.
I'm he who is the Fee.
Right, yeah, yeah.
I'm a man who's waving his arms around.
Just read the game.
Come on.
I'm also located in Amsterdam.
Fuck you, Stog.
Well, they only cost $5,000, but will she like living with you in your mom's basement is the real question.
No, I have my own crib for over a decade.
But I'm on the poorer side of middle class.
I want a nice Colombian girl.
What?
Yeah, what?
Well, he's going to buy the Russian mail order bride.
After a couple of years, fixes her up, trades her in for a Colombian girl.
Oh, okay.
Right.
It's a five-year plan.
I want a nice Colombian girl who can cook and clean.
Plus, it will force me to learn Spanish.
Flip this spouse.
Yay!
I got it.
Beautiful.
She might
bounce, though. That's the only risk.
I wish
I wish they were
more like $3,000.
Oh, this shit isn't worth $3,000.
Bye.
Boots, you're JP Dancer.
For that kind of money, you probably only get bargain bin bride.
You might get to choose between one leg or a lazy eye, though.
She fell out of the dollar tree and it had ever been for the way down.
Also, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Hey, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yeah, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Hey, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Yeah, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Yeah, I'd have to feel this chick out
and let me infect her with herpes
to make sure that she'll stay with me for life.
Yep.
That went from funny to sad.
I'm a good guy
You are a good guy
People are shallow
I've had that though
I'm into exotic women
Who aren't corrupted by western culture
Plus I want a chick that can cook and clean
Yeah
Why aren't you guys on my side anymore?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think he posted one.
Let's get to a more likable person.
Adam, you're Gman7104.
Please.
All right.
Yeah, see, I'm Gman7104, see?
Yeah.
All right, good.
This is a serious question. I started a job where I'm working with7104, see? Yeah. All right, good. This is a serious question.
I started a job where I'm working with a compost and manure.
Sometimes I smoke a stoke or take a drink from my water bottle,
and one time I tasted it, and I mean, you know what it is.
What?
Yeah, you know what it is.
I mean, you know it is what it is.
But recently I've been shitting way less.
See? Yeah.
I've had changed bowel
habits and more frequently diarrhea.
It also seems
like no matter how much I eat, my stomach
is always empty. Do I have a tapeworm?
My name's Sheekle.
Did you really just say one time you tasted your poop?
And then again.
And then Sheekle.
Oh, you tasted the cow poop.
I get it.
That's not bad.
Oh, that would have been gross.
Yeah.
And then you didn't do that.
Yeah.
And your response?
Yeah, not on purpose, but whatever. I thought of all the mushrooms I've eaten, although that is have been gross. Yeah, not on purpose. You didn't do that. Yeah, and your response? Yeah, not on purpose, but whatever.
I thought of all the mushrooms I've eaten, although that is pasteurized.
Huh?
Oh, you got your marks there at the end.
Yeah, see?
Wow.
So, hey, G-Man.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, what's up?
So you also posted in this thread. Uh-oh. Okay, G-Man. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, what's up? So you also posted in this thread.
Uh-oh.
Okay, good.
Great.
Where is it?
Oh.
Okay.
Wait, so you quit weed 15 days ago?
And that list is very general.
However, if you have 6, 14, and 15, I would see a doctor if possible.
If not, observe your fecal matter and look for pieces of white, sometimes moving sections of the worm.
You actually can get the drug the doctors give you online.
I've seen it before.
It's a one-time pill that forces the worm to detach and be shat out.
Hyssop and chicory root, the exact is found on the 501 bars, are two natural remedies.
Garlic probably helps as well.
Okay, so he did have a tapeworm.
I definitely had a tapeworm.
It affected my stool, see? Yeah.
All right.
This thread here, Montreth, has labeled the OP is not funny, but the response is.
And that's correct.
So I'm just going to take the OP here.
My name is XTJX.
I guess you could call me a drug addict, mostly cocaine and ecstasy. Well, it's fucking my life up, and I'm trying to get life back on track.
I've been completely sober for almost two weeks now.
Blah, blah, blah.
I'm looking for advice on how to not take drugs.
That's why I'm posting on theshroomery.org. So come
Quazup if you'll take X-Toke
X. Hey all you murderers,
how do I stop murdering?
So yeah, I need advice on how to not do
drugs. I'm hoping XtokeX will help.
Luckily, XtokeX is here to help.
XtokeX drift.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Just like figure out specific dates when ooh will do drugs,
like go to a show rave like once a month or something and roll there etc also try to integrate
your goals slash work with drugs like once i accomplish this i will go to this rave and roll
hard or once i get this promotion i will have more time oh yeah promotions sounded like that
was an egg guy's future promotion yeah yeah because. Yeah, because the more drugs you do, the better you do
at business. Yep.
Like, just the thought that
oo can do it in the near future should
shuttle our progress along.
If oo have nothing going for oo
right now, just figure one thing out.
Then it will be like a domino effect, and you
will build something.
Also, what's
the most practical advice you could give him?
It's like, I mean, that's sort of, I don't know.
The last sentence.
I believe there was a question.
I believe we were asked a question, XtokeX.
So what's the most practical advice that you could give him?
The last sentence there.
Just don't buy do anymore until you reach Urgles.
Thanks.
Thanks, evil Nancy Reagan.
I can't give you this promotion, but if you were to do this entire bale of cocaine, I could think about it.
No, it's kind of, it's trickle-down spry.
Well, you know, your numbers are up.
Everything looks good.
Yeah, so you got it.
You got the job.
So I just have to ask, what made you turn around and dig deep?
Oh! I was looking
forward to backsliding!
I don't think you're
cool enough, so you need to smoke
ten weed cigarettes at the same
time.
In a past life,
Stogg wrote propaganda
films.
In a past life, Stog wrote propaganda films.
You want to be a star, don't you?
Here, this will help you relax.
Okay.
All right, Boots, you got an idea.
You got a really good idea.
You got a good idea.
I like mushrooms.
You know what I like even more than I like mushrooms?
I like bitcoins.
Yeah, I'm posting in the Money Matters forum on Shroom. Oh, okay, right.
That makes sense.
And I just got to get myself into character.
Oh, well, Neil Patrick Harris is excited about your idea, so I bet we will be, too.
Is it Russian Brides?
Yeah, I'm Chicken Soup.
I'm hunting fungi.
And I'm telling you, peeps...
Oh, sorry, I gotta talk about shroom coins.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's talk about shroom coins, baby.
Oh, we're talking about shroom coins.
I'm telling you, peeps, this idea's a slam dunk.
Awesome.
Yeah, the government's clamping on bitcoins now.
So there'll be a demand for new cyber currencies.
The time is now to set up a shroomery currency system.
Oh, now's the time!
I've been waiting for my sleeper cell to be awoken.
Yeah.
Activate shroomery.
The Muncherian candidate.
Ooh, you are on fire. John's not here. I have to fill in. debate Shroom Queen. The Muncherian candidate. Ooh!
You are on fire.
John's not here. I have to fill in.
Yeah, so just in case you're worried that I don't have a plan for this,
I got the details all worked out here.
Shroomery. You can follow through.
Alright. We sell them at $10
each and let the price settle in.
Then we exchange stuff
for them.
Listen! It's called money.
Okay, here's the idea.
Hi, my name is Ice
Killer. I'm a boss.
I'm okay
somewhere.
It sounds like a very
good idea, but it'll be
very difficult to get it off the ground.
I'm going to go back to smoking the shrubs in my backyard.
Goodbye.
Okay, back to somewhere with you.
I am Pyrex.
You're a self-employed pharmacist.
I am a pharmacist who loves the Punisher from Boragon.
It would be quite easy
to install a currency plugin
for the forum.
The problem from there
is the fact that you have to
use a payment gateway,
i.e. PayPal.
And the problem from there...
Uh...
Yes?
No, no, I'm...
Ooh, no, this seems really good.
Yeah.
And the problem from there
is how to exchange the shroom coins back to actual cash,
which would mean admin slash mods would have to handle that.
And I imagine the admin slash mods wouldn't like to spend 50% of their days exchanging coins to PayPal.
Listen, folks, I know you all love transaction fees,
but the problem is that they're worth something.
Okay, here's our plan.
You give us money, it's exchanged for the same amount of money, but now you get less of it.
Huh?
So I give my money to a forum full of shroom heads, and then I get stuff for them?
No.
You get shroom coins, which don't exist.
Yeah.
So you're purchasing a commodity
that doesn't exist.
But you could exchange your shroom coins
for less money than was originally
the money that you exchanged for shroom coins.
Look, my name is Mick, alright?
Hi, Mick.
Okay, so my name is Mick.
Oh, shit, this is a good idea!
I kind of want to keep it there.
No, all right.
Oh, shit, this is a good idea.
Anyone can make up a cryptocurrency, right?
Right.
Yep.
We just need to make sure it is the number one currency of the shroomery.
Fuck, who cares if it is even worth money at first?
People will just trade
prints and shit for it until it
picks up! High five!
High five. Anybody
can print money, right?
Guys, you want to start F
plus dollars or F plus coins?
Sure, what can they be exchanged for?
Stuff?
We'll figure that out.
Alright.
Oh.
I found more stuff in the money matters thread,
which we might get to, but first, we need to
talk about logging trees, felony, and fuck.
Boots, you are
as rouge.
Yeah, I'm as rouge. Yeah, I'm
as rouge.
Okay.
So I have class A,
B, and C,
felony for mushroom slash DMT.
Do more drugs!
Yeah, okay. Assault on
officer. Yeah.
Jesus.
So basically I need to go into
business management.
Is this Don King?
I hate even having to do this,
but how much do you guys think one would make
buying land slash logging it
than planting two trees for everyone?
That's the only way I could fathom doing this to two trees for everyone. That's the only
way I could fathom doing this
to the earth for money.
But fuck. Felonies
for life? What to do?
I live my
life spreading love.
Yeah, I spread love right in that cop's face.
I would do it all the same
I was responsible
About Sykes
And who had them
I felt
I've done a service for the universe
But won't let felonies fuck me over
When I told that cop fuck you
I really meant I love you
I meant tender loving for you.
My name's Mick again.
All your own business of some kind.
That's how my post started.
It's not like it's a continuation.
Legitimately started my post.
All your own business of some kind.
Okay.
If you have the capital, think real hard.
How you can create a self-sustaining income
Money doesn't care how many felonies
You have
And it doesn't expect you to work
9 through 5
Monday through Friday either
Yeah, this guy's already a drug dealer
You don't have to suggest that
Money's really forgiving
I don't understand why you're asking
Where money comes from
when all you do is just take it out of the trust fund.
Mick, I have a question.
Yeah, what's your question, stog?
When you say you're living in perverty,
do you mean you live in a house made out of old hustler mags?
High five!
Hey, hey, hey My name's Gorlax
Great, hi Gorlax
Yeah, yeah
Guess how long a tree takes to grow
To make money, lol
Unless it's weed
Oh man Grow to make money, lol, unless it's weed.
Oh, man.
I've been in a party with Gorlex.
Fucking hated Gorlex.
Also, my signature says,
Sure, I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is I'm not. I just honestly feel that America is the
best countries and the other countries
aren't as good. That used to be called
patriotism.
Okay. Alright, fine.
Sure. Fine, you're a patriot,
but it's fine. I'm a weed
patriot, man.
Way to go.
So yeah, we have the parts one,
part two. Part three is called Doing Drugs is Hard.
We're going to start this off with Dead Fan.
And I think Kumquat, take this one, please.
Dead Fan.
Yeah, Dead Fan.
Maybe Dead Fawn?
No, that's how you spell fan if you're a fan of fish.
Oh, goddammit.
So I like both The Grateful Dead and fish.
I just love it when a guitar gets played.
Forever!
Play all the notes in a single song!
It's not a song,
it's a house I live in.
Anyway.
Fake pee for drug and alcohol program.
Does it really work?
Fake pee?
Sure.
Go on. Just like lab synthesized pee. Also, work. Fake pee?
Fake pee? Just like lab synthesized pee?
Also,
Amazon has given me an ad
for half pint jars.
I got that same ad!
I have one more test
and I drank a beer yesterday.
I forgot.
Alright. I forgot. Alright.
I've been in
program for almost a year
now. This will
be my last urine drop.
I...
I don't think that's true, but okay.
I'm trying to find a friend
that doesn't use, but
might have to resort to fake piss.
Only if I know it works.
My program is kind of intensive.
I know they have the 80-hour test.
I'm just wondering if this fake stuff is detectable on lab tests,
and if anyone has experience with it working or not.
Dead Fan lives in a
world where he can't
conceive of
a human being with clean piss.
Like, is there anyone in the
world that has clean piss? No, probably not.
We have to make our own piss. In his social
circle, it's easier to just
like, I'm just gonna google fake piss
because
I'm the cleanest person I know.
It comes out like the dick or
something.
Alright, Stoggy,
you're Nice Chris Man? I'm Nice
Chris Man.
I had no problems with fake pee.
It worked great for me.
That rhymes.
Yep, sure does.
Just make sure you get the good stuff with all the electrolytes and shit.
The main thing is...
I like to get the code red piss.
Code red is electrolytes.
It makes plants grow.
The main thing you've got to be careful with is the temperature.
Also, if they are giving you a physical first,
you may have to devise a way to hide it while being felt up.
What sort of drug tests do you go to?
All right.
So, Boots, is it right that you really want to eat weed?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. You want to eat weed.
You have no idea.
You want to eat weed, but you're afraid of a few things. Is that right?
Yeah. I'm Tyrone C.
Okay, sure. Let's get you over your fears.
Yeah, okay. I don't know. I really want to eat weed, but I'm afraid of a few things.
Okay, okay. We're here to help.
Have you tried bathing weed?
Have you tried properly preparing weed before consuming it?
Have you tried smoking it?
Yuck.
That is a little garnish to your salad.
Makes a lovely holiday
trimming.
Whoever helps me
out on this one will be my
freaking hero.
I've got a lot of questions, lol.
Alright, well I'm hoping for some
shroom coins when we help.
Okay, yeah.
Well, I've heard that weed
is the most
hallucinogenic, if eaten.
Sure, that's the kind of research I would expect on the shroomery.
So, naturally, I want to give it a shot, but there are a few things that are making me hesitant.
First off, cooking right.
Okay.
Cooking right.
Cooking right.
I'd have to use butter, not peanut butter,
out of the natural stuff.
But at the same time,
I'd like to use the microwave.
Could I just put the weed in a small bowl of butter
and microwave it?
If so, how long would I do it for?
Jesus fucking Christ.
This guy's already stoned.
You think that butter and peanut butter are synonyms.
Well, it's not even that.
It's just like, I could use peanut butter, but I'm out of this good stuff.
So I'm just going to ask for that butter.
Second, the smell.
If I do this method, how bad is it going to smell?
I live with my folks
and I'll probably do it
when they go to bed.
But I'm a bit nervous
that the house
I would like to rhyme to
is going to reek of weed.
How bad
will this smell?
Are there any other fears that you have?
My third fear of my catalog of fears How bad will this smell? Are there any other fears that you have? Oh, yeah. Third.
My third fear of my catalog of fears is waste-eating weed.
Okay.
A few weeks ago, I was in a hotel room.
I wanted to get high.
I had a gram of weed in my pocket.
Oh, wow.
Convenient.
Yeah.
Let's just say I went through a lot of risks To get that weed there Alright
It was like
Laser trip wires
Just put down the weed
And we'll shut the lasers down
The concierge was a drug sniffing German shepherd
We detected.
We detected.
Oh, and also a robot, apparently.
That's what German Shepherds sound like.
Oh, okay.
Never spoken to one.
So yeah, it was precious to me.
I put some butter mix
from the hotel.
It was like half margarine, half butter
in some tinfoil with weed, and held a lighter
under it for a while.
What does your kitchen look like?
Then ate the butter with the weed.
This is the hotel.
To be fair, this was the hotel that he was
trying this pioneer experiment on.
So he got
the little packet of margarine,
and then another pack of butter,
and then made a sandwich where those were then another pack of butter, and then,
like, made a sandwich where, like, those were the two slices of bread, the weed was in the
middle.
He has nothing but bread, butter, and the occasional gram of weed in his cabinets.
So the Continental Breakfast is closed.
Yeah, I felt absolutely nothing, so I must have fucked up somehow.
Yeah, you did.
I'm a free ad, I'm going to waste my weed again.
So did I do something wrong
that microwaving it with real butter
would prevent?
Yeah, it was the butter's fault.
Fucking butter.
Yeah, fourth tolerance.
My fourth fear is tolerance.
Okay.
Okay.
I mean, I understand. I mean, I
understand. I mean, I understand.
I have a pretty nice tolerance
to weed now. I've been smoking it
a few times a day for a few weeks.
And I've lost
some of the psychedelic trippiness
weed once had.
Will this affect
the trippiness of eating
weed to the point where it's not really worth it?
Or will it still give me a good high if I eat enough?
This guy's been smoking weed for years, and he cannot...
Like, how do I get it in my mouth?
I don't...
Every time...
What's on fire?
It's not working!
It doesn't fit in my mouth unless I bend it.
I'm afraid I'm going to lose some of the trippiness. What do I do? It just set my mouth unless I bend it.
I'm afraid I'm going to lose some of the trippiness.
What do I do?
It just set my mouth on fire.
Fuck!
And it will give you good high if you eat enough of it, yes.
And lastly, how much should I eat to really get blown off my ass?
Oh, my God.
You're not going to like that.
Nobody knows.
You're going to fucking hate that.
I really love being paranoid and crying.
I guess having
about three G's left at the
moment, maybe a bit more, because
of my tolerance should do it all.
Yeah, the tolerance will take you the rest of the way.
You're good.
Or would I be wasting some?
Thanks in advance for anyone who helps me.
I know that it was a lot to read,
but I can't help myself.
You're stoned already.
You don't need weed.
Yeah, but I didn't eat it.
I'm not accomplishing all my goals, so I can't reward myself with weed.
Smiley face with two swollen sides of upper lip.
Yeah, it's a sort of cleft lip smiley face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Come quats up. You had one, right?
My name's Mr. Boozin.
You're a stranger.
All right.
Hello, yes.
Hey.
Eating weed?
Can someone lay it down?
Are you a cop?
No, I think he's Little Kim.
All right, so I ate a dub once on crackers.
Yeah, sure.
And didn't feel anything.
Now I heard the acting weed lets the THC be much better intaked.
Well, why didn't I feel anything?
I then heard it has to be heated or something.
Go on.
Just throw it in the microwave for 30 seconds.
You'll be fine.
As long as it's warm to the touch.
It's like a hot pocket.
What you do is, what the fine Italian chefs do is that they throw their weed on the wall,
and if it sticks, then it's ready.
Could someone tell me the info of yet, Jingweed?
For example, how much should be eaten?
Do I need to heat it?
Echt, echt, thank you!
My name's Kanids.
That one over there.
Did you cook the weed?
Or did you just put weed onto the cracker and eat it without heating?
If you're eating weed, you need to put it onto something fatty.
Cheese, peanut butter, etc.
Cook the weed for a little bit,
then the THC goes into the fat and is activated that way.
If you just put the weed onto a cracker,
then ate without any cooking,
you won't feel any effects.
And then, uh, come close up, Mr. Booz,
and you have a response to that.
Okay!
I get it now.
So the fat
makes the THC
ready to be put in my dome.
Thank you, Bill Cosby.
Thank you, folks.
Stog. Yes? It's your first time doing weed? Thank you, folks. Yep.
Stog?
Yes?
It's your first time doing weed?
First time doing weed.
Yeah, well, welcome to the shroomery, motherfucker.
My name is Unbelivable.
This is going to be quite the initiation.
Unbelivable. You're going to go in the weed spanking machine.
I'm a stranger.
And this is my first time doing weed.
Help.
Yep, that's what that says.
Well, just got out, I don't know how many grams,
but it was a decent amount for $20, really good weed.
Then not one.
Not one.
Or the worst drug dealer in the world.
I don't know.
I guess it's like four grams or something.
$20. I don't know. Get it out of my house.
I'm crazy, Eddie!
And these
drug prices are insane!
I bought my weed
from a weed garage sale.
Anyway, go on.
Never done weed in my life.
I was actually planning on shrooming.
Done research on weed and shrooms for like a year.
So a nerd.
Yeah.
I had to do this to get my weed license.
So yeah, my friend is coming over and we are planning on doing it, so I have some questions.
How much in grabs do you think I have?
Good weed, $20.
I need to know how much to tell him to seem cool.
Go on.
How could I get it in my
without smoking it?
Not baking or anything, maybe
tea or just straight up eating it.
What the fuck? Okay.
I like to drink weed tea.
I mean, plenty of people
do, but you know, usually after
like 45 years of
marijuana smoking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If I have to smoke it,
what's a good way with common household objects
and not waking your parents up?
Thank you.
Don't use the gas-powered bong.
Why is this bong so loud?
It's going to wake my mom up.
Sorry.
First thing you want to do is buy a vaporizer, hook it up to a gas-powered generator.
All right, Boots, you're Camcron.
Camcron.
Camcron.
All right.
Well, okay.
$20 is about two Gs or so.
Yes, you can get blasted high, grind up the weed real fine, mix it with a teaspoon of peanut butter,
and put the peanut butter on a cracker sandwich called firecrackers.
All right, put it in the microwave for like 30 seconds, nom, nom, nom.
Break the weed in half, then break it in half again, then take half of that and grind it up for the cracker.
You'll feel it in 40 minutes or so.
Make two or three of these, and you guys will have an awesome night.
Welcome to the joy that is marijuana.
Do not make tea or eat it straight up.
Hello.
Hello.
My name is McTykle.
Good to meet you.
A blunt is the key.
All right.
That's it?
Yes.
Well, that's the best Dan Brown novel I've ever read.
The Swede is trying to tell me something.
They all know. They all know.
They all know.
My name's Ben Zeb.
Oh, yeah.
Just recalled the old stone.
Just recalled the old school house stoner trick.
That's a combination word of house and stoner.
Anyway, hopefully you have
some fabric softener sheets.
You know, the ones you throw in the dryer.
I don't like the sound of this.
Now I know exactly where this is going.
Okay, so yeah, the fabric softener
sheets. If you do, grab
a bunch of those, get a
cardboard towel holder thing,
smash your nuts, and
stuff a bunch crumpled up
inside. Then, place
two or three over the end of the
tube, and tape it very lightly
around the end. Magic
scented smoke filter!
Yeah, you like coughing, right?
I like that name
for it better than spoof.
Also, these kids can't go outside.
Why? Why would they do that?
Hey, little Jimmy, why does your room smell like marijuana
and 5,000 loads of laundry all at once?
Nope, no reason. Shut up.
It smells like weed and chores in here.
Alright, we are
coming very much down to the end.
And this last
chapter that
Montreux has for us,
I believe the previous chapter was called
Doing Drugs is Hard.
This chapter is called Sex is Hard.
Good.
Oh, my gosh.
So, Adam, you are Endure, the anal demon.
And what's going on?
I swear I'll be gay, and then all of a sudden I'm straight again
and then I'll be gay
and then I'll be straight again
and then I'll be gay
and then I'll be straight again
and it fluctuates randomly.
Sometimes it won't happen
or be there at all
and then sometimes it is.
I woke up today
thinking of a guy
and his dick
and then I see
a hot woman
with a bubble butt,
and my dick is about to explode in public.
Hello, bomb squad?
My dick is about to explode in public.
Send help.
Listen, sir, we take these threats seriously.
It truly makes things complicated.
It raises the question, who do I go for?
I'm nor sure yet if it's specific to the person or to gender.
One night stands are okay, sure,
but it always feels not satisfying for either male slash female.
And then I'm afraid to commit to a relationship
in fear of having to end it to pursue the opposite gender.
And then you lose all your experience points.
I'm pretty sure Endor the Anal Demon is an unlockable character in League of Legends.
What did we learn from any of this, F-Plus?
What did we learn from any of this, F+, not to smoke your weed in butter and bread and basically also use it as a garnish?
Yeah, that is when something is like the Internet just does.
And I think it's also a thing that Americans do is just everything's a competition.
And let me compete.
Let me show you how hard I'm doing everything.
And I thought people took drugs to get out of that mindset.
No, but they don't because let's say hypothetically, have you ever been in a situation where you're over at somebody's house,
you're having a party, and then you're out in the garage,
and then all of a sudden somebody's going like,
okay, so what you want to do is you grab this card,
you put your thumb here, you got to lift this up.
Now I'm going to say go, and I'm going to count to three,
then you lift this thing up, the ghost,
and it's like, can I just, do I just inhale?
This seems like fucking complicated bullshit.
There's only so high I can get.
Yeah, I just spent a half hour watching you fill a stupid fucking bag.
Why can't we just roll a joint?
And that's, I mean, that's
where we've
gotten with
drugs as a whole.
Because if you talk to people that smoked a lot of
shit, pot,
you talk to people that smoked a lot of shit, if you talk to people that smoked a lot of pot
in the 70s,
they cannot handle drugs of today.
Because drugs of today
are ridiculous in comparison.
Yeah, they're nuts.
You'll hear people talk about, oh, I smoked two joints.
Well, that would kill you now.
Yeah, your
body would just prevent that from happening at a certain
point. You pick it up, it just falls out of your hand
no I can't I literally can't
yeah
it's amazing to me
just that I don't know
it's funny when dopes do drugs
I guess
I think that
hallucinogenics
my own personal time with hallucinogenics were
good,
and I don't regret
any of that time.
I'm not recommending it for others, but I'm glad
that I did.
And I went through that
point, and I was like, there we are,
and everything's fine, and
I'm done, because
holy shit was that an ordeal that, like,
it takes me, like, four or five days to, like, recover from that thing.
I think I've learned all I need to.
And, like, you'd run into people that are, like,
that are still doing just massive amount of shrooms for, like, a month.
And it's like, oh, okay.
I guess maybe
maybe you're just more patient than I am.
You think
somebody may be more patient than you are?
Maybe.
Perhaps.
All I
really learned is that when you
combine the sort of
you know, the hypothetical situation
where you stand around in your garage
and everybody starts one-upping each other with,
oh yeah, man, the last time I got high, I was so high that I fucking fucked a truck or whatever.
And then you continue around the circle.
When you combine that with an entire forum who's dedicated to this.
Yeah, with dudes from Amsterdam.
entire forum who's dedicated to this.
Yeah, with dudes from Amsterdam.
Yeah.
I went to Subway and I ordered ten foot long subs.
Top that.
I stared even
more lifeless at
Who Framed Roger Rabbit three times in a row.
I would have loved more girls.
I watched the album cover to Dark Side of the Moon
and listened to The Wizard of Oz.
How does that prism do that, man?
I guess if you are interested in expanding your mind,
you have to have a bit of a mind to expand.
You have to have a little bit of an original thought in your head you have
to kind of have these things before you can get more perspective if you're just like if you're
just bored you're just going to be super ultra bored well which is kind of the problem which
is kind of the problem with drugs in in in entirely is that like you have these moments
where you're like oh god i need to record this so what if we're all living on the holodeck?
And then you listen to that and you're like, oh god,
I'm a fucking idiot. I did write down
some notes last time.
The one time I took LSD
and a lot of it was about
how I need my own personal arty
like from Larry Sanders' show.
The website is always
thefpl.us. We got the full
doc on there. Thanks again to Montreth
for another terrific document.
And Ball Pit is a fun place.
And if you haven't
been pitched it, October 5th
F Plus Live at
Grumpy's in Minneapolis. Details on the website.
Come on down. Get drunk. It on the website. Come on down.
Get drunk.
It'll be great.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye, Internet.
Weed.
Bye, Tumblr.
Bye, Tumblr.
Bye, Facebook.
Bye, MySpace.
Is that your own new Good Might Moon?
Bye, CompuServe.
Good night, Google.
Bye, AOL.
As rouge!
Did you paste it?
Yeah, you posted the same previous link.
There we go.
Nope, that's still...
Goddammit!
There we go, okay, got it now.
You're the asshole.
No, it's okay.
Fine.