The F Plus - 148: Exclusive Unoriginal Content
Episode Date: August 23, 2014The community of contributors to tvtropes.org are clearly experts in consuming mass media. They've honed their skills in identifying devices, contrivances, holes and structure in various plots, s...o much so that they may have distilled fiction as a whole into simple, repeatable formulas. Does that make them good writers? Let's find out! This week, The F Plus gets 241's at the Angsty Wang.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Why, yes, I do browse the slash D slash boards on 4chan.
Why do you ask?
Because I talk like an asshole? Everything you make It's floating in a bubble My heart's gone damp
I can't find it in a Bible
It doesn't say
How to take away the length of life
I can't help but
This is the F+, your home on the internet
for derivative stupid, oh wait, no,
just terrible things read with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Jimmy Franks.
I got a question.
Are these winged humanoids able to fly,
or are they more like ostriches with arms?
We'll get back to you.
Ace, you're Akawadal.
I also like gelato and the two in green sleeves.
I might have a slight bit of Asperger's syndrome,
but I have a hurricane of puns, so that can't be too bad.
Or is it, eat all your soul, be as I come, nom, nom, nom, nom?
Enough.
Come, Quasap.
If you don't want the character to come across as TNA,
don't introduce her by talking about her boobs
followed by her casually talking about wanting to fuck people.
If you're anywhere near New York, see him live, Mr. Adam Bozarth.
Er, I did once write an 18th century style pirate fantasy crime novel
that did feature a black pimp as the main villain.
And lemon.
My protagonist humanoids have an extra
finger on each hand and an extra toe on each foot
for a total of six digits per extremity.
Just to be clear.
Giving them the standard number of fingers
would have just been weird. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can't read this story. How many toes?
AF+.
Hi.
How are you all doing?
Are you doing very well?
Yeah.
I'm all right.
I've been better.
Is your Wolfenstein fan fiction doing well?
Is it trending well?
Like, if you check the analytics on your Wolfenstein fan fiction,
trending where?
That's exactly it, because I've been writing and writing and writing,
and it's all shit.
Well, that's not really the standard that you need to overcome.
It's okay.
If it's fan fiction, you know, then we're dealing with a pretty flat plateau, as plateaus usually are.
I want to introduce you to a place that will help you improve your writing.
Really?
Why?
That's a great question that I'm not going to bother answering. Years ago, we covered a website
called TV Tropes,
at which point they put together a
page on TV
Tropes for the F+,
which was
weird
because we're not on TV, but that's not
the point. But TV
Tropes as a service
is terrific because what they have
is a style guideline.
So if you want to be a
better fan fiction writer,
you can go to TVTropes.org
and learn how to be a better
writer. Really, what better place
for it, right?
Yes.
Yes is the word.
Thank you.
So, Jimmy Franks, if you'll start us off. So this is Yes. Yes is the word. Right. Thank you. Yeah, that's it.
So, Jimmy Franks, if you'll start us off.
So this is, you know, it's a forum set up.
It's people asking questions, other people answering.
And Jimmy Franks, if you'll start us off with Sophisticant,
who's looking for advice for his or, well, we're going to, I mean, really, if we're going to assume a pronoun, we're going to say her.
How do I not make this romance squeaky?
Put less rape in it, I guess?
Dear readers, I have a character, the son of the protagonist, who was put on a tramp freighter for the purpose of an apprenticeship with the chief engine smith and flight officer.
Although a natural mechanic.
No.
Although a natural mechanic, he is attracted more to flight.
The flight officer and engine smith are twins, but they are complete opposites.
Darby, the engine smith, is outgoing, social, but somewhat insecure,
especially about her ability to relate to her sister, Harmon.
And it's the romance that's the problem?
That's the one problem you have in your story so far?
Her sister, Harmon, the cybernetically augmented autistic pilot of their ship.
What?
They cybernetically altered her to be autistic?
We have the technology.
You know what, Sophisticant? I hated the original Firefly.
I'm definitely going to hate the knockoff of it.
For years, as the Captain and the Harmon have experimented with combining the computing properties,
the computer and the human mind, and Darby feels more and more distant from her sister.
Oh.
That's the end of that sentence.
When the kid and his father come on board, Darby and the father, Harry,
are attracted to each other and begin a discreet relationship.
However, Dylan, the kid, develops feelings for his brilliant but emotionally immature mentor, Harmony,
the autistic twin who interfaces mostly with the ship's computer.
Dylan is almost 13 and is considered a man in his starfarer culture
out on the fringe of civilized worlds.
Oh, my God!
Okay.
This is a lot of pain up front.
Thanks, Montreth.
So no one bats an eye at him beginning a sexual relationship with his mentor, who is in her late 20s and developmentally delayed.
No one uses the word autism.
They refer to her as a verbal savant.
That's the same thing.
That's the same thing.
Like, people with autism are super good at, like, verbal communication, right?
Yeah.
I see it as a consequence of them spending flight training time together
and also because of the discord between Harmony and her sister.
Harmony and Darby's insecurities and Harmony's need to reach out to someone else.
And Dylan, despite being a teenager, is the only male emotionally available.
The other three men on the ship are a pair of low-life thugs and a standoffish mercenary.
As an immature person himself, he's also much closer to her
emotionally.
I bet the standoffish
mercenary is
always saying, I ain't got nothing for you now,
kid. Check back with me later.
He's just always got
an exclamation point over his head.
Yeah, but it's gray.
Dylan's dad doesn't discourage this relationship
because in his cultural context,
13-year-olds are considered to be adults
who can hold a job.
Who can jolt a job.
Who can jolt a job.
Get married and have kids should they choose.
There's no formal schooling,
which is why apprenticeships at a young age
are so important.
13-year-olds having kids isn't really a matter of choice.
I mean, there's some biological things that go into that as well, but...
Well, so again, I would like to restate the question.
Fuck!
How do I not make this romance squeaky?
Oh, there was a romance in the middle of there.
That's the title of this post, yes.
God damn it.
Fuck, I hate that.
Acier, you are first comment there.
Aw, Sam Weston.
Oh, yeah.
First off, I have to say, the title looks more like something that would go in writer's block.
Idiot.
Idiot.
In general, looks like titles have some keywords related to the forum.
Maybe this cyborg romance?
Just keep that in mind when making future threads.
Oh, great.
I bet this guy cybernetically interfaces with the ship's computer, too.
It's romance.
Anyway, to your question, why do people say 13-year-olds are adults?
Can you say 15 or 16 and still get away with the yarn effect?
If not, you should make the reasons for why your setting thinks 13 is an adult age.
Right, because sexualizing 15-year-olds isn't creepy.
Well, because he can hold a job.
Yep.
Duh.
Because they're almost legal then, so anyway, in real
life, 13 is nowhere near adult.
I remember when I was 13, even
as late as 18, and I was
still questioning who I was and
where I was going. My body was still
changing too, and
that's normal for most
teenagers.
What the fuck?
And that is a normal thing that happens to all of us.
Right, guys?
Yeah.
Also, as someone with Asperger's, make sure that if characters actually say autism,
you'll need to make sure it's an accurate depiction.
That's all I have for now.
Don't worry about that.
Okay, no, no.
Mottrath has a lot more from this guy.
I can't take it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm skipping that.
Can I just sum up the rest of that thread with nobody really seems to have a problem with the uh with the age difference
oh it's all just semantics about like well no well what about the cyborg and non-cyborg having
a relationship like is that okay um uh okay so uh so kumquats up just found something uh that
will save us all and if you'll take it please i. I'm Sand Josef.
Well, I'm just wondering about justifying the death penalty for jaywalking.
Okay.
Wow.
So, you know, after losing election after election, Pat Robertson has some really good ideas.
I remember this. And he's turned to the internet.
I remember this Carlin bit And he's turned to the internet. I remember this Carlin bit.
It's pretty funny.
So, yeah, guys.
The best I can come up with is that OSHA became far more militant.
Notice I used the word more there.
Right.
Yeah.
OSHA is a militant organization.
Fucking OSHA always a militant organization.
Fucking OSHA always putting up those placards in my break room. Yeah, they're more militant, more militant in their efforts to keep people safe.
Sure, right?
That they've taken over the government.
The safety military.
I feel safe already.
You know what, though?
If there was an OSHA party running against the Democrats
and Republicans, I would vote for them.
Yeah, totally.
But that's mostly
because I like monochromatic
icons.
Oh, yes. Me too. And so does OSHA.
So we're on the same page there.
That style.
A mandated first aid kit in every
home.
So, yeah, they've taken over the government and declared every place a work zone.
Oh, snap.
Yeah. And used the death penalty as a means of scaring people into safer work habits.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
That's my best. That's the best.
Wow, that's...
That's where you're at.
We're gonna...
My name's Savage Heathen.
Savage Heathen, eat the rich.
I'm a pro-freedom fanatic.
Okay.
Vehicles hover on autopilot through predefined lanes at absurd speeds.
Oh, no.
Unauthorized objects inside the network mess everything up,
potentially killing hundreds of people.
This is fucking awful highway construction.
But there it is.
Okay.
Roads would be walled off against intrusions,
and you'd have to go out of your way to jaywalk on them.
That particular civilization would regard it as
an act of terrorism.
And you would too if hovercrafts
at 400 plus miles an hour
started slamming against
each other in nearby buildings.
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Uh, Adam, USAF713 has a question.
Why would you need to justify such a thing?
I mean, if this is intended as something serious, it comes across as absurd.
And if it's parody, it doesn't need to be justified.
It just...
is.
That's not how the word parody works.
I got it, I got it.
What's it a parody of? What are you talking about?
Are you speaking in like
a parody? Oh, you know, it's a parody of
the thumb of OSHA standards
that we're all living under at this time.
Really, it's part of the zeitgeist.
And Beach has it all
sorted out for you.
Oh, thank God.
Let me lay it on you.
Vehicles are made of jello
with absolutely no passenger protection whatsoever.
So hitting a pedestrian would destroy
the vehicle and kill the person in it,
but leave the pedestrian okay.
No, it wouldn't!
No, it would not! No, it would
not!
You don't like it? You're nuts, Anne.
You're nuts. You know how, like,
if you're at terminal velocity and you hit
water, then water
gets hurt. Yeah, but it's like
science fiction
jello. I know. We really
need to sell this jaywalking thing.
Well, what if cars were very fragile?
What's fragile?
Jello's fragile.
Yeah, but, and like...
Wait a minute!
I just realized!
I got a much better idea on how to justify the death penalty for jaywalking.
Oh, yeah?
That Jay Leno segment is fucking terrible, and it's derivative, and all of the writers are lazy.
And you just got the same amount of laughter as you would from a Jay Leno joke.
Hey, I have a question for Slightly Evil Doctor.
If you were going to have a place that was overpopulated, what would you name it?
This is slightly evil doctor.
Overpopulation.
The population
of Crowdedonia has been
at the limit of what the environment
can sustain for several centuries,
which has required
drastic birth control,
and even in the case of
droughts and disasters, execution of randomly selected members of the population.
Originally convicted criminals were selected in priority, but as time went by, there were no more people convicted of heavy crimes, and now even trivial infractions are likely to lead to death.
Hey guys, our whole society is super peaceful. We need to fix that shit.
Yeah, fucking OSHA. He's like,
I've got this dumb premise,
and everybody's like, here's heavy
handed satire.
Adam, is it right
that you want to rethink your steampunk idea?
I think by definition, any steampunk idea? I think by definition any steampunk idea
ought to be rethought into something new.
You mean the idea
of doing steampunk at all, or
my specifically steampunk idea?
No, your specifically
Morwen Edelwyn
Morden Edhelwyn
Morwen Edelwyn
Yeah, you want to rethink
The plot structure of your steampunk novel
Right?
One of my favorite musicals
And in my opinion
One of the most complex
Is Evita
By Andrew Lloyd Webber
Not only because of the songs
But because of the questions it raises
About politics, propaganda truth, and the cult's personality.
That's why Andrew Lloyd Webber is such a well-respected genius.
You must have seen a different Evita than I did.
A while back, I had an idea for a steampunk novel set in Cuba, which borrows this plot structure slash basic plot of Evita, poor girl born to unmarried parents, becomes actress and supports herself partially through love affairs working as a courtesan.
When she marries older lover, a military officer, and starts scheming to gain a high social status and change the status quo.
End of parenthetical.
Paragraph.
End of post?
No. No, no, no.
In this idea, she wants to be president, not first lady.
Okay.
Here's what I know about the plot.
The protagonist is a boy who's an artificial human created through synthetic biology and modeled on Che Guevara.
I've heard of that guy.
Yeah, he was that shirt guy.
Yeah, he's from Bathing Ape.
Okay, gotcha.
Revolution and the politics of a banana republic
are important aspects of the story.
There's both
a military coup and a landslide
election won legitimately.
How does that work? I don't know!
You wrote it!
No, I didn't. I really didn't.
Bye-bye.
So, I think I'll go back to
the idea, but does anyone have
suggestions on how to use plot structure
and elements from another
work, yet create something original?
Is that even possible?
Hey, Writers
Forum! Plots! What's the deal,
right? Also, uh,
Morwen Edelhuen as a follow-up.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Any suggestions?
She got impatient after waiting a day for a response.
She waited a day.
Oh.
And then Adam, when you go down to post nine there,
Adam, when you go down to post nine there,
Morwen has some ideas that she's broken out into six parts.
If you go through those parts, please.
Does anyone think dividing a diary type novel into parts could work? Each of the parts would be titled after a song in Evita
and kind of parallel to the events described in the song.
So here's some of what I have in mind.
Part one. Your idea
is to take Evita and make it worse.
Yeah. Okay.
Why don't you take Evita, put some
fucking gears on it, call it done.
Yeah. I'm gonna hot glue
some cogs and spray paint it
and put some brass adornments on Evita.
Just gluing cogs to Madonna's face.
Mm-hmm.
Part one, dice are rolling.
Parenthetical would-be presidents are all around,
slash, I don't say they mean ham,
slash, but they each give an arm,
slash, to see us six feet underground.
Evita convinces.
He crosses out Peron.
And changes to Val Verde.
To make a power grab.
From the president.
By running as an opposition candidate. And at the same time conspire.
With the fellow worker sympathizing officers.
To launch a coup.
She tells him to act like he's willing to agree.
With everything the president does. So the president will allow him to act like he's willing to agree with everything the president does so the
president will allow him to run as quote-unquote just another puppet candidate and wouldn't know
won't know that he's actually conspiring under his nose shay and the velverde's servants including
the housekeeper celia traveled to Havana Celia and Shay are there
mostly because Celia is in a relationship
with Fidel, one of the guards
who's also Shay's foster father
who smuggles
guns for a drug dealer
Fidel has seemingly disappeared
to join with
Ava's contacts in the
resistance, a resistance member
called Shay Comandante and shows him how Eva's contacts in the resistance. A resistance member calls Shea Commandante
and shows him how
to set up secret radio broadcasts.
He and Eva
incite the workers to revolt against
the president.
I'm not that familiar with
the Cuban Revolution or Evita for that matter,
but I cannot
follow what the fuck is going on
here. So that was part one.
Oh, no, what?
Yeah.
Part two, a new Cuba, a new Argentina.
The chains of the masses untied, a new Argentina.
The voice of the people cannot be denied.
Shay and Ava's memory implants?
What?
Yep, memory implants.
Which act much like a-
Hey, hey, hey, hey, excuse me. Which act much like a...
Hey, excuse me!
What's up?
Excuse me!
Oh, hey, what's up?
Oh, is that Full-Time D?
My name is Full-Time D.
Yes.
I'm a deputy director
of Space-Time Gradient
LV-114.
Oh, you got all the way
to level 114, did you?
Yeah.
Okay.
So what's up? I have a question. Okay, you got all the way to level 114, did you? Yeah. So what's up?
I have a question. Okay, what's
your question? Super soldiers disabled
by the Gilligan's Island theme song.
Whoa.
Okay, hopefully we can loop this into the
Eva Peron story. My mind just got
blown. You guys will come back
to me, right? Yeah, yeah, no problem.
Absolutely. Because like I
post after that, any suggestions?
I'm sure
we'll get back to you. I'm sure you've got
lots more parts. Let's hear about this.
You just wait. Why don't you hold your breath?
Okay.
So
for a work in progress that is based on Shakespeare's The Tempest,
and unofficially a sequel to Forbidden Planet,
ostensibly the same work in fiction.
I'll roll with that.
I have been working on a species of genetically engineered super soldiers called Optimals.
Wait.
That's a bit on the nose, but that's fine.
Yeah, he based his super soldiers on Forbidden Planet?
Yeah.
Cool.
Those are terrifying creatures.
I know you think they're aliens, but they're not aliens.
Okay.
Because they were genetically engineered by humans
using entirely terrestrial DNA sources.
Oh, that makes it better then.
Okay. Go on.
Optimals have no junk DNA.
Their
karyotype includes only
four chromosomal pairs, including
sex chromosomes.
Uh-huh. I don't... Okay.
Right. Many animal traits
were reintroduced into their genome,
such as tough reptilian scaly body armor,
superior sense of sight, hearing, smell,
venom-spinning glands,
correctable claws.
Their skeletal system is mammalian,
but reinforced like a Neanderthals compared to
humans. Thicker bones
and the bones have
false triny protrusions.
Like the cybernetic implants that they gave
to Neanderthals. Right, right. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Which combined with the thick horns,
spikes, and scales their armor
gives them a very spiny appearance.
Okay. That was my sentence there.
Yeah.
Spikes make them be spiky.
These sound optimal.
Yeah.
They really do sound good at everything.
Yeah.
They hatch from eggs and mature super fast,
being ready for deployment in battle by age five. For every seven males born.
One or two females are born.
Both males and females are hyper-aggressive,
but the females who lead in battle are more rational.
Battle units are made of non-relatives
and harsh competition for access to the fertile females.
And a chance to spawn is the norm.
The highest ranking male in a unit, the female leader subordinate,
is variably the seed donor.
Okay, full-time D, you did a lot of writing here in your post. Yeah, look at all that writing I did.
You did quite a bit of writing.
So here's our rule.
Skip every other paragraph, starting with the next paragraph.
There's all this writing I did, and I'm going to skip all of them because it's too good.
And now for the big bomb.
Wait, wait, wait.
But before that.
What?
Are these optimals?
Here's just a question out of the blue and i don't know why
i'm asking it but to give him notes to give him notes yeah i'm just wondering
are these optimals hyper sexual hyper aggressive teenage super soldiers
uh well if i were making a chart of hyper things, I don't know why I'd do that.
Um, uh, they're hypersexual and hyperaggressive.
Uh, they probably have hyper balls, too.
Uh, she named super soldiers, and they're known far and wide as the deadliest fighting force ever.
Okay, yeah, so, yeah. Mardwine is the deadliest fighting force ever. Okay.
Yeah, so, yeah. Have you heard about the Optimals?
They're the most fearsome fighting force ever.
Unless you give them a Game Boy, then they're occupied for a couple hours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, all the writing I did.
Now for the big bomb.
Oh, good.
Great.
Here we go.
Yeah.
So even though they were genetically engineered to be submissive towards humans.
Okay.
They were also engineered to adapt generation to generation.
So natural selection is still a factor in the species development.
Okay.
That's a sentence.
Yeah. Slavery versus
Darwinism. They were engineered
to evolve
anyway? Yeah.
Okay. Sure.
Yeah.
If natural selection didn't favor some of the
engineered traits like
humans, then the
optimals potentially could turn against humans.
Oh, no. Then those things would to humans, then the optimals potentially could turn against humans!
Oh no.
Oh no. Then those things would fight us, and they would try to
fuck us to death. Alright, soldier,
you're not allowed to attack humans
unless you want to, in which case
it's cool, but I'd prefer you didn't.
I really would like to!
Don't!
to.
Don't.
Knowing that, the design team that created the first Optimals
created a safety protocol in the event
that Optimals turned against humans, which
they totally didn't come up with because it would never
happen because they didn't want it to.
You know? Yeah.
You want it to.
It's a kill switch, just in case things go crazy.
Yeah.
They took the theme song from a 200-year-old TV show called Gilligan's Island.
Oh, shit, I forgot the title of this post until now.
Yeah.
And engineered the optimal so that their entire molecular structure could be lethally destabilized by anyone humming and singing
or hand drumming the Gilligan's Island theme song.
That's true because...
I swear I did not hear you correctly.
You're saying like, if I got this right,
you hum Gilligan's Island and he turns into stew.
Right, right.
They molecularly devolve when they rock along.
Because it's impossible to hear that theme song and just not throw your horns up.
You know, just really get into it.
Yeah.
Also, it's a good thing.
The professor and Marianne.
Oh, no.
My toes are turning to stew.
God damn it. It's a good thing
that the soldiers we made
everybody doesn't know their weakness.
It's like,
how can I ruin the ending
of Mars Attacks?
What's the deal with these things?
I mean, alright, so we've made
super soldiers
who won't fight humans.
What do they fight?
Oh.
The other country's super soldiers that are like genetically engineered crocodile men.
That sounds good.
Sorry.
I mean, what?
You want something interesting?
I mean, we got something interesting for you.
The Gilligan's Island theme song, which these scientists. Don't sing it. Don't sing it. Don't sing it. have something interesting for you. The Gilligan's Island theme song.
Don't sing it.
I submit. Thank you.
Okay.
Make me fucking sing it.
I didn't want to sing it because there's a chance
I could melt too.
Obviously
200 years in the future
only geeks
know what Gilligan's Island was.
Right, because they're into that kind of intellectual entertainment.
Wait, was there a dragon on Gilligan's Island?
Or did they go to other planets on Gilligan's Island?
Why would geeks care?
Well, there was a couple of girls in it, right?
Because there was a girl on it.
Two, in fact.
There you go.
And they're stuck with me.
Wait, wait, wait.
I know what happens.
So this is 200 years in the future.
In 120 years in the future, the thing that nerdy teenagers obsess over is shitty stand-up comedy from the late 80s.
crossover is shitty stand-up comedy from the late 80s well what i want to know is is if this is concurrent or happens in the same timeline and reality as the 80s cartoon gilligan's planet
which was a spin-off forgot about gilligan's planet god damn it i want to know which which
theme song there were three different theme songs.
Oh, yeah. If you went like,
and the rest, would they come back to life?
Yeah.
Ha ha ha ha.
You forgot
to say the Professor and Marianne.
Oh, no.
Alright, so
finish this up, please. Yeah, yeah.
So the theme song...
Let me read that sentence again.
Yeah.
So the theme song Achilles' heel
tends to be known only by military personnel
who act as handlers of optimal battle units,
relaying orders to the female optimal in charge.
Sarge, isn't this pretty convoluted?
Shut up, soldier!
Give me that one, man!
The military gives these guys a little data disc,
and a media player with the instructions,
play this disc in the case of rebellion.
They totally couldn't play it at the enemy other things.
That's when your rebellions
happen, is in the middle of
war. They'll just go,
Hey, wait a minute!
Let's fight them!
Wait, these bullets work
on anything! Holy shit!
Why did this never occur to me before?
Uh, hey.
Hey.
Hey.
My name's Jolly. uh hey hey hey my name is jolly hey jolly hey jolly okay i think you're jolly no okay no sorry it's just jolly i mean it's cool like like i appreciate like other
like cultures you know like my friend went to montreal once and she said it was pretty cool
anyway hey so i'm kind of playing with concepts in my mind and procrastinating on tv tropes don't
we all all the time so i'm trying to think through the characters in a novel i will someday write
yeah at this point let me remind you let me tell you what the title of my post is.
My title of the post is Ethical Slut Ingenue Character.
Yeah.
Yeah, so what I have in mind is something along the lines of ethical slut in the sense
of being very comfortable with your own body and your own sexuality. Never ashamed of expressing desire or sexual agency.
Strongly believes consensual, mutually enjoyable sex can never be morally wrong.
She sounds kind of cool to me so far.
Yeah, she has very few kinks of her own and is quite happy to indulge and explore.
Is quite happy to explore and and explore is quite happy to
explore and indulge her lovers
kinks her lovers
but she's like
she is she is very playful
and flirty sexuality is one of the things
that is one of the ways she
seeks love beauty self-expression
very a nice
nin morality wise very
much for happiness because aias nin was like a super
happy fulfilled human being as most poets are yeah and like and like she was able to hang out with
like with like emotionally fulfilled people you know like henry miller and they they were just
like oh everything's cool yeah tropica cancer that was
really that was lit that was set at like a hedonism too right everybody's just kicking
back and relax fucking in the socket uh anjanoo uh clearly i learned this word recently in the
i could never imagine anyone wanting to hurt me or other people ever since. Never thinking ill of anyone.
Assuming everyone has good intentions.
A believer in the power of love, which is capitalized.
No, you have to sing it like Huey Lewis because it's capitalized.
She's a believer in the power!
No, I'm not doing it.
I can't.
My throat forced me to stop singing.
Anyway.
A believer in the power of love, oblivious to judgments and double standards.
Relationship status, because apparently this is a Facebook post at this point.
She is mostly monogamous, and in the first chapter, she is starting a committed relationship.
Although she does believe, theoretically at least, least it is entirely possible to be in love with
more than one person at the same
time
her relationship with her ex
is still oh god
is still emotionally warm and involved
although purely platonic
there's a big I want my beloved to be happy
in the background
I wonder where this character came from
my creativity in the background. I wonder where this character came from. My creativity.
Okay.
Did your creativity get broken up with recently?
Let me tell you about
Angenieux Ethical Slut's new boyfriend.
She's been a bit of a loner in the past.
He's been a bit of a loner in the past.
There is a teeny tiny bit of
I can't believe a girl like he would notice me
in their relationship.
Mostly understated slash non-healthy or wanksty.
Oh, wow.
Oh, that's the worst portmanteau I've ever heard.
Is that like when your wang has angst?
I think that's when you have angst from wanking.
The angsty wang is one of my favorite Irish pubs. Come on down to the angsty wang is uh one of my favorite irish pubs come on down to the angsty wang
pretty sure that's the worst manto
i don't want to go see this wang chung cover band oh no
uh so buddy wang eggs tonight.
So when she is being flirty,
her flirty self slash gets emotionally involved with everyone else.
Slash.
There's so many slashes.
It looks like other characters may fall in love with her,
and she doesn't even realize.
Hyphen.
He feels insecure.
He is also more level-headed than her, less of a wide-eyed idealist,
which is also capitalized,
and tries to be very protective of her feelings.
She's French.
So that's as far as I've
developed it. What do you think?
Good potential or
a bit Mary Sue-ish?
Hold on a second.
Mary Sue TV
tropes.
Mary Sue is a TV...
is a derogatory term
primarily used in fanfic circles
to describe a particular type of character.
And that's where the sentence ends.
This much everyone can agree on.
What a character type is exactly
differs widely from circle to circle
and often from person to person.
So fuck you!
That was useful.
I learned something today.
Oh, you're trying to look up something?
Hey, Sierra.
Yes?
You want to create a ghetto supervillain, right?
Well, who doesn't, right?
Right.
So create the ghetto supervillain.
Which I'm pretty sure is a big boy song.
All right.
I'm going to try to create a recurring ineffectual sympathetic villain.
That's in capitals, by the way.
It's ineffectual sympathetic villain for a superhero story about Cape Busters.
A gangbanger turned super genius who calls himself Dr. Dickstab.
Pretty good, huh?
No.
No.
Let me say that.
No.
Look, I don't know exactly the criteria that gets you kicked out of the crypts,
but saying, yeah, my gang name is Dr. Dickstab is definitely one of those things.
You're assuming too much.
You're jumping to wrong conclusions.
Okay, look. The idea behind
the character is a comic relief figure
who mixes
sophisticated as hell
with Tim Taylor technology.
Now I got you there, don't I?
And the stereotypical behaviors of a ghetto
gangbanger, for a note of what I'm talking about,
imagine someone who uses words like
metric fuckton as scientific
and it runs all
of the technical babbles through a gazoodle.
Come on!
I feel like such a character
who's playing against type
as a mad scientist rather than a
thick-headed street thug could be a legitimately
funny concept.
Oh my god.
Alright, alright, alright.
I need your help here.
See, what I want to know
is if there's any way
I can make this character
not seem racially insensitive.
You know.
Like, look.
Look, I'm the big ideas guy.
I need you guys to like
sort out the nuts and bolts on this thing.
I think you should call a bookie about that idea.
I'm not going to take that as a no yet.
Maybe I can sell you.
Okay, sure.
Let's consider his origins, you know, before anybody jumps to conclusions.
Yes, I'm well aware that living in the ghetto has nothing to do with race and there are plenty of ways to do it.
No, it really does.
That's kind of the problem
well look look i don't want people to think he's some offensive character of any race culture
oh dr dickstab isn't an offensive character no no but he's just just rather just a caricature
of stereotypical gangbanger lifestyle you know pips and racist caricature of stereotypical gangbanger lifestyle. You know, pips in the hall. A racist caricature.
Okay.
And I want to do this without making him into some white kid acting like a total poser because he's trying to be gangsta.
I just want the audience to think he's funny, not a total tool.
Any ideas?
Hang out with a black guy.
Oh, no. See what he thinks of dr dick's dad you say that
but this guy could totally get a job writing for the wayans brothers sure it might be one of the
wayans brothers actually okay uh as a matter of fact uh there are ideas. Okay.
Wait, where was it?
Okay.
Jimmy Franks, you are
FOFD.
Yeah.
Maybe take some cues from Wesley
Snipes' character in Demolition Man,
an intelligent criminal who winds up
in the future with access to some of the advanced
technology and the know-how.
Comes off very funny, very cruel, very threatening, while still being thuggish and genre savvy.
Yeah.
Does he stab any dicks?
No, does he stab any dicks like a doctor?
Because this is Dr. Dickstab, all right?
When my parents, Thomas and Martha Dickstab, were shot dead in front of me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah a typical servile snarker underling or morality pet,
and those are both links because that's all TV Tropes jargon,
to make it clear he's not meant to be in an over-the-top universe.
And then, uh, uh, come close up, finish it up.
Uh, yeah. Hello, my name is Kai Trooper. Um, yes, um, yes, make him Latino.
Um, um, over-the-top and with, and, and, and a big ham.
Uh, with, uh, copious amounts of double entendre.
What?
Entendre?
Smiley face.
Smiley face.
You know, by Dr. Dickstab.
I mean, that might be a little too subtle.
I know how to fix this character that has no appeal.
Oh, yeah?
How would you fix it?
I would make him a different race that's less likely to be angry.
Oh.
But, yeah, Wesley Snipes on Demolition Man is more or less what you are looking for.
Thanks.
That's helpful.
Kumquat, I need you to immediately transform into Little Paladin Susie and read your own post.
Hello.
Hi.
Little Paladin Susie.
My name is Little Paladin Susie.
Deconstruction of the Lion King.
All right, no, let's not judge.
Come on.
Are we going to have to read an entire deconstruction of the Lion King?
Oh, boy.
Okay, great.
So let's brace ourselves for all the Hamlet comparisons.
Let's just get into it.
Yes, thank you so much. Today, the chef has prepared a deconstructed Lion King. Yes, thank you so much. Today the chef has prepared a deconstructed
lion king.
Yes, hello.
I always wondered
if there was a way
to do a deconstruction of the lion
king in its setting.
Like telling the story
from Scar's perspective. Okay,
not much of a deconstruction. I look
like Dave Navarro!
Oh my god, he does!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he really does.
He really does.
After all,
Word of God says that he had another name
when he was born,
but it was changed to Scar
because of an injury!
Wait, did they change?
Did he forget the character's name and then just change it to Word of God because he knows the troper language better than actually Lion King?
That's plausible.
I think that's what happened.
I think it's like, fuck the thing I'm trying to interpret.
Yeah, I mean, you know, eventually this website will have enough members
that I can just make movies specifically for TV Trost members. Oh, I mean, you know, eventually this website will have enough members that I can just make movies specifically
for TV Troops members. Oh my god.
Could you imagine if this screen... I forgot
to mention, we are
deep into this episode,
and I did the listeners a
disservice, and I'm sorry. Uh-oh.
Because I just now
remember that I never told you
that we're in a section of the
TV Troops forums called On the Tropes.
Get it?
Get it?
Now I do.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I felt a searing pain in my brain, and I felt like I just needed to share it with you.
Thanks for finding that.
You're welcome.
Yeah, I'm glad.
So, yeah.
And why are the hyenas, and later, Zira's pride,
forced to live in the most inhospitable edges of the Pride Lands?
Because nobody cares?
Because it's a dumb cartoon, you dope?
The lions of Pride Rock are carnivores,
so how do their subjects feel about becoming dinner for their rulers?
Hey, Matt II, what should I do?
Well, you could make Mufasa a villain with good publicity,
Scar a well-intentioned extremist,
Simba an ambiguously evil knight Templar,
and Shenzi a jerk with a heart of gold.
On the side, the lionesses could be snobby bitch fucks,
and the hyenas could turn out to be partially protecting them from a larger
pack who want to off the lot of them as revenge for being starred almost to death under mufasa
could you imagine trying to watch a movie with matt the second
wow one day someone will watch a movie
with me.
That was a pretty good example of
Nazi with a heart of gold.
He's the main character. I hope I
find out what kind of main character in the coming
scenes, don't you? Look at that.
I bet she's the love interest. She's pretty.
Well, now he is a completely different archetype.
This plot is keeping me guessing at which archetypes these characters are.
I really enjoy it.
Is this written by Joss Whedon?
Hey, guys.
Hey, what's up?
Hello.
Hey, this is Mark with a Q.
Mark FJA. And I have a completely original idea. Q. Mark FJA.
And I have a completely original idea.
Cool.
Great.
Cool.
Are you guys ready for this?
Yes.
Count Dracula gender flipped.
Well, what?
All right.
Wait a minute.
I'm writing a gender flip composite version of the historical Vlad 3 Dracula and Bram Stoker's Count Dracula,
drawing upon various incarnations of the character,
modeled as an ersatz of Evangeline A.K. McDowell
from Magical Teacher Nagima,
with influences from Arkuid Brunstead
from Tushikimi, Moka Ashayida,
Akasha Bloodriver, and Alucard from Rosario,
plus Vampire and Mina Tepes from Dance in the Vampire Bund,
Alucard from Helsing, and Dracula from Castlevania.
Some elements of the vampire race in the story setting
also draw upon World of Darkness's vampires.
I also meant that a certain Kim Possible fanfic itself based on a series of images Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Sure, yeah.
Right now, I'm stuck on a few points.
First point to discuss is her backstory, whose brief summary I submit below for critique.
Do note that as far as public history is concerned, the gender flip is completely unknown.
Uh-oh.
Just like a few certain gender flips in a certain visual novel franchise about mythological historical figures fighting to the death.
No, I'm listening.
She was born a girl and her father insisted on having the male heir that he wanted.
Deceived his subject and the rest of his clan about the newborn child's close... I need help on a justification for bottomless magazines.
I need help on a justification for bottomless magazines.
So in my story, I actually have an idea to justify bottomless magazines in one of my stories, the paradox system. Basically, the weapon use of some time paradox with doses of rule of cool to achieve unlimited ammo.
For example, we use six chambered revolver.
Okay. Thank you
so much. Okay. There would be
always six unfired cartridges on
the chamber, and when one bullet were
fired, the cartridge returned being
unfired slash untouched
as soon as the chamber
revolves. The bullet eventually
disappears as well, but the damage
they'd done remains.
The limitation of the Paradox system is that it cannot
be used on weapons that is too complex,
basically any weapon with a computer on it, such as missiles.
Also, it must
not be too simple. Bows, double-barrel
shotguns, single-shot firearms,
etc.
Yeah.
The system comes in two variants,
one applied to the weapon, so it's always fully loaded
And one applied to the magazine for firearms
With box magazines such as AK-47
Semi-automatic pistols, etc
Now, is this good justification?
Or
Is there anything I can do
To improve it?
Start over?
Quit now
You're taking the fun out of writing, dummy? prove it. Start over? Quit now.
You're taking the fun out of writing, dummy?
So it's like,
I'm gonna take the rule of cool,
which makes things really simple, you know, like Hollywood magazines, and then
write 17 pages to
fucking describe it.
That's my novel.
I call it Isfahan.
Are you reading this?
Hey, Adam. Yeah Adam What has science wrought
Science wrought
Dungeons and dragons
In the roaring twenties
Thanks science
My name is Krautman
And what has science wrought
But my avatar a toilet with eyeballs
I think it's toe jam In the toilet It's toe jam avatar a toilet with eyeballs. I think it's ToeJam in the toilet.
It's ToeJam with a toilet costume
on.
Hey all, this is
the first time I've asked for help
in this part of the forums,
but I've had an idea for a D
ampersand D setting.
It takes place in Khamlok,
more commonly called Khamlok.
Oh, thank you so much.
A city about the size of Chicago or New York.
These examples are chosen...
Wait, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
A city about the size of almost a million or 13 million.
I've never been to either.
These examples are chosen for a reason.
Rather than swords and sorcery,
the setting would center around the various mobs running around Canlark
and pulp adventurers fighting extremist elves,
ancient cults, and occasional vampires.
The cult...
The police are corrupt...
That's actually a good name for a goth band
the occasional vampires
the police are corrupt
alcohol is outlawed
and the crime runs rampant
here's what I've got so far
since booze is illegal
it's become quite a valuable business
which is why
the dwarven mafia makes so much money with their
stills and speakeasies.
Given the amount of money people
pay for it, dragons were often hoarded
alongside golds and gems.
Now let me
tell you more about the Dwarven Mafia.
The Dwarven Mafia runs the Moonshine
Rackets as well as a certain
amount of gunrunning because
this, quote-unquote,
Dwarven-type writer is a euphemism for repeating crossbow.
Members, Dwarven or not,
often find themselves dropping a few Dwarvish words into the conversations
and ranking in the Dwarvish Mafia are largely based on seniority.
Okay.
The Elven Mafia. Thanks, Sean Connery. The Elves aren't big on cities.
They are, however, big on making their life a little more splendid.
The Ponzi Gits deal mostly in smuggling illegal furs, exotic animals, and drugs.
And there's also the Devil Mafia.
Hey!
What the fuck?
Who would side with the Elven Mafia
then?
The Devil Mafia can lock us a big
city with plenty of souls
and opportunities to gain power.
What better
place for an aspiring young devil to practice...
One day, I'm going to be a devil just like Dad.
What better place for an aspiring young devil
to practice his loan sharking or twisted contracts?
And there's a wisecracking breakdancing werewolf.
This topic is probably a bit of a mess, to say the least.
But I just figured it might help to get this out there.
And for my signature, and that's terrible.
Wow, that was preemptive.
Wow, that was preemptive.
Ace here.
Is it true that you have an idea or you are working on a feminist survival horror game?
Fuck yeah, because I figured this idea that I got
is better than any other idea you bozos have put out so far.
I'm convinced of it.
All right, all right, all right.
So let me tell you about my feminist survival
horror game, because that's just going to
blow your pants off.
Alright, okay.
Now, this thread is for a project I'm working on,
working title Powell, to design
and hopefully one day implement
a survival horror game,
specifically an FPS-RBG hybrid
survival horror game in the vein of System Shock,
with strong feminist
themes. The current story
outline is eight chapters long,
folderized below.
Here they all are!
Enjoy, nobody!
Holy shit, I wrote a lot.
Anyway,
I will gradually edit it
to flesh it out more and more with larger updates indicated and described in news posts.
News posts will also contain content I designed for the game that doesn't fit in the outline, such as maps and barriers and enemy designs.
This thread may be used for commentary, critique, and suggestions concerning my content.
Jesus Christ.
Oh my god, this is a waste of time.
I'm going to kickstart this, though.
I'm kickstarting this. Enjoy.
Okay, enjoy.
Yeah, he's kickstarted.
Well, with a capital K, I think he may have a kickstart of this.
Right, yeah.
Okay, let's skip to, let's see, chapter two, I think.
All right, yeah, we'll get right to it.
Score!
You eventually
make your way to Eros.
Wait, this is a book? And it's
written in second person? It's a choose-your-own-adventure.
No, it's not a
book. It's a survival horror game,
much like System Shock. It's a first
person, role-playing, survival horror
computer game novel in the second person.
Oh, it's a novel?
Okay. Yeah. See, it's a novel? Okay.
See, now you're going to make your way to Eros,
the island you are supposed to move to for the change.
And the first one you had not visited before.
It's an open jungle
sprinkled with a variety of bizarre,
disgusting torture devices you cannot
comprehend.
That sounds really good to put
in a visual medium. That's very feminist, too.
Your presence there activates a
sequence of pre-recorded messages intended
to play during the change. Apparently,
you were raised from birth to become Stephen's
sex slave.
After hiding out there...
The villain is named Stephen, huh?
Uh-huh. Yeah. Well...
With a P-H. I couldn't decide if it was Stefan or Stephen.
No, it's Stefan.
Stefan.
Oh, Stefan.
Hello, I'm Stefan Evil.
You're going to be my sex slave.
Now, after hiding out here for a while, Stefan arrives in person.
He chastises you for ruining his scripted orientation for the rest of your life by arriving here unsedated and
unfound. Stop skipping the cutscene, asshole!
I would love it
if a video game bill would get doing
that. Don't skip this!
And he chastises you
for ruining his scripted orientation,
for ruining billions of dollars of security equipment,
but he takes comfort in the fact that he may now do
what he always wanted to do,
what he always dreamed of. He hunts you
through arrows with a trink gun.
Most dangerous game style, but didn't count on you
having picked up your own weapons and combat skills
by this point. You sedate him
and take his helicopter key
to escape. You use the helicopter's
autopilot to try
to course out a Powell, but are shot down.
That's probably because you were using the helicopter's autopilot.
Yeah.
My name is Otho Indicats, and I'm thinking what all of the F-plus readers are thinking right now.
What's that?
This is great.
Okay, so this is all pretty ridiculous.
What are you trying to do
exactly?
I guess I
never bothered
trying to tell you what I'm trying to do.
Jimmy Frank, your name is Martello.
You have a promiscuous female character
you want to talk about, right? I do.
I want to tell you all about that right now.
Promiscuous female character.
So one of my supporting female characters is very promiscuous.
She enjoys sex and likes trying out new men.
Oh, you're a new man!
This one's too skinny.
I'm trying to write her as three-dimensional and not just walking TNA.
I've already run what I've written past my older sister, my usual filter and editor for this type of thing.
But I want to know what some of you think.
If you're just joining this thread, I've posted a new establishing scene on the next page.
This one received a lot of heat.
That's probably well-deserved.
And what is, what's your
forum, uh, what's your
forum handle there? Hammer of the
pervs. Uh, ooh,
it's the cool guy. I only barely met
in TRS. Yay. Also,
suggestion, it would be much more readable if
it wasn't one big ol' block of text.
If you did insert paragraph
breaks, then remember you need to double
hit enter to actually make them work.
Thanks. You always seem
pretty legit, too. It's always good to see
another military member, even if you
are a damn flyboy
tonguey face.
Well, now that we're done sucking each other's dicks,
I fixed the formatting so it should be
easier to read.
They really were in the military.
Do they teach you how to do that?
I'm suddenly interested in the military now.
Flyboy?
Clarification, I'm not in the military.
Oh, my bad.
Yet.
And yay, now I can read it, which I will do shortly.
Speaking with a layman and general interest in military matters,
I have some things that I said, but who cares?
Oh, wait, no, you probably care about a little bit of it.
Yeah.
So here's just a couple bits.
Insofar as I was told, physical activity results in smaller breasts in women, doesn't it?
I don't know.
Based on my research.
Exercise make boobie go down?
Question mark?
That's why when you see
women jogging, you just see their
tits shrink.
I've heard of these breasts.
So anyway,
that's why most Olympic athletes are basically flat-chested.
Gross.
Well, hang on.
Who talks like this?
Let me clarify.
Basically flat-chested, at least compared to the ISO standard fictional gigantor boobs.
So would it be logical for her to have large breasts?
From what I've heard, her behavior isn't necessarily out of character
from what happens with women in the military,
given that the U.S. military and military
forces as a generality
are inherently conservative and misogynist
institutions for whom
integrated service women are a relatively
new phenomenon, at least as far as the
Western world goes. However,
what seems odd to me is how she
revels in it. Perhaps it would be more
logical that it manifest less as a simple
preference, and more as a general issue
personality flaw.
What? Oh,
God, this is so much gross
stuff. To have a healthy sex
life is one thing, but presumably
on the battlefield, with people whom
one relies upon constantly
and who essentially become
family, such activity would be detrimental to unit cohesion.
I should know.
I'm not in the military.
That sentence is a war crime.
I hope this guy gets investigated before he goes into the military.
I like that he was like, yeah, I'm not in the military yet, but I'm hoping to.
Because everyone there is an asshole.
I heard there's lots of sluts.
What a fucking asshole.
Oh, my God.
Hey, Kumquats up.
Yeah?
What's different about your Tolkien-like fantasy world?
Who's Tolkien?
I have somebody called Tolkien.
Oh, okay.
What's different about your Tolkien-like fantasy world?
Is there Tolkien-like birds?
Tolkien-like birds.
I don't know.
There's Tolkien-like birds.
Yeah, so
I have Tolkien. I don't know what a Tolkien is, but I have a Tolkien-like fantasy world with a hip-hop twist.
Oh, yeah.
My name is Mokachokakon.
Mokachokakon.
Uh, jousting?
No.
2v2 half-court ball and armor.
Dragons?
No.
Swagons.
God damn it.
So, like, what, you got spinners on your dragons and lowriders?
How does this work?
Big goofy sweatshirt on a dragon?
Pretty boy swag.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He didn't go with
Bilbo swaggins?
That's much better.
Give me a count of TV tropes.
I like that you just
disgusted yourself with your joke.
I'm disgusted all around. I'm just in it.
Some of it got in my mouth.
Witches?
No.
Stereotypical, stoned, wise Jamaicans.
Yeah, that's a stereotype.
Wizards?
No.
Pimps with magic powers.
That's a hip-hop twist.
It's a hip-hop twist.
Pimps with Magic Powers is a Cat Williams special, right?
Horses? No!
Wait, no horses!
No horses.
Camaros!
Camaros!
With hydraulics that run on cannabis that's that's that's really super hip-hop yeah i mean
camaros man yeah celebrated all over camera it's a white trashiest of all muscle cars
minstrels no mcs minstrel minrels? Well, I guess he is saying
in Tolkien, but
you shouldn't bring that word up.
Let's leave that word out.
Please tell me
somebody already made this so I can read
the swagons out of it.
I'm sorry, no, you did
not follow the F plus rule. Please read
that sentence again.
Please tell me somebody already made this so I can read the fuck, fuck, fuck, you did not follow the F plus rule. Please read that sentence again. Please tell me somebody already made this
so I can read the fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck out of it.
Sir, may I interest you in a subscription to Cracked Magazine?
Hey, Jimmy Franks.
Yeah.
I know that we haven't had any choices in this episode.
Yeah.
Reader choices.
And I recognize that it's something that our listeners like.
They like hearing about the choices.
So I'm going to give you two choices.
All right.
This is my favorite part of the show.
Yeah, exactly.
So it's going to be good.
Okay. this is my favorite part of the show yeah exactly so it's going to be good okay so option number
one is
don't choose this Jimmy Franks
oh this is the classic
lemon fake out choice I know
this trope option number two is
the onomatopoeia for farting
wow
this is always
this is Sophie's choice.
Yeah.
Man, you know.
We'll just go with number two.
Okay, good.
Good.
You went with number two because option number one was also the onomatopoeia recording.
Okay. So you're Vorpy, and we're and we're gonna get to the bottom of this vorpy and onomatopoeia for a fart
all right wait sorry hey vorpy yeah what what are you uh my name's vor, and I am an unstoppable sex goddess. The onomatopoeia for farting?
I know that writing the word fart next to somebody's butt isn't the greatest or most entertaining.
It's pretty entertaining!
You're wrong!
You don't know anything about comedy.
Apparently you haven't read an Evan Dworkin comic in the past...
20 years.
How old
you are, Borky?
That's my favorite
joke in the episode.
I know writing the word fart next to
somebody's butt isn't the greatest or most entertaining,
but I was dumbfounded by what a fart
would normally be spelled out as.
Mostly because mine are
too quiet or come from the wrong area.
What?
So there's no real...
What?
Her brain.
Because mine are too quiet or come from the wrong area,
so there's no real way for me to sample my own.
And every fart.mp3 I listen to is different or too long.
So every fart.mp3 you listen to.
No,
this one's too long.
This one's too tinny.
Now that's what I call a fart.
Volume four.
My,
my name is,
my name is Wheezy.
Hey,
Wheezy.
Poot is reliable. I have a web comic. Hey, Wheezy. Uh, uh, Poot is reliable.
I have a webcomic. Oh, congratulations.
That's
correct.
Alright, next. My name
is ImmyPolexG,
and James
Joyce rendered it as
pripipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipip for what it's worth.
That's a Joyce reference.
Nice literary pedigree.
DeRazno is dropping some science on you guys.
Take it.
It plopped.
Flarp. Flint. Plunt. Flap-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p Uh, I'm robosexual. I'll have you know. Good. Hello?
Quite answered the question. Hello?
Excuse me.
Huh?
I'm Haggis McCrablice.
I have some suggestions.
Okay.
I'd say Blart for the big ones.
Ripvitz for the ones slightly higher in pitch, often caused by straining too hard.
And squeaker for those tiny little ones.
All right, bye.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
My name is Sabrina Diamond.
And...
Hello.
Scovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv for the small ones. And for the explosive one.
And Squiff for the silent ones.
I think that second one was a firework.
I'm five cues.
Wait, where are you from?
Canada!
It's great.
Sounds like something being squeegeed
against the wall.
Try toot for the soprano farts
or
or
or
for the really squeezy farts
or if you're a baritone, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba- Atom James. Atom James. I would go with something like this.
It's like an old modem.
9600 baud modem there.
So, the F+, other than the automata for Pia for farting, what did we learn from TV Tropes on the tropes?
I've learned that everybody thinks that they thought of something that no one else has thought of.
And there's a reason why no one's thought of those ideas.
Also, on a site that catalogs everything people have thought of.
on a site that catalogs everything people have thought of.
Now, I was thinking that if I wanted,
I was thinking that if I went to get all the adulation of being a not very well-known author,
without going through all the trouble of actually writing a novel,
I can just say, hey, I got this really brilliant idea.
What do you guys think about it?
Post like two sentences online
and rack in the six responses
of praise I'd get otherwise anyway.
This is like
crowdsourcing Dozer Fleet.
This is why you're supposed to keep ideas to
yourself so you'll actually work on them
and see what piece of junk they are.
That's what I want to do that.
I could get Adulation and not do any
work. I came up with it and that's all I want to do is just come up with it.
Micro recognition.
Like a commensurate amount of praise for the amount of work that you've done.
Exactly.
Well, somebody is just going to shout over your idea.
We're talking about their idea anyway.
Well, somebody is just going to shout over your idea.
We're talking about their idea anyway.
But that's also it, too, is, like, none of these ideas had any inherent drama in them.
It was all just kind of like, and then it goes to the next event, and the next event occurs. And these people all don't get along, but for no appealing reason to watch.
Yeah, for well-researched structural reasons.
It's like, rather than a lot of aspiring auteurs,
like, these people are aspiring, like, Hollywood agents,
where, like, the only thing that matters
is that they're pitching, like, the structure of a spec script.
Yeah, it's just, it's all the flash, and the thing that they, is like, structure of a spec script yeah it's just it's all the flash
and and and the thing that they is like that's the thing that's gonna sell but then they don't
know how to put anything around it right when when when your hobby in your off time is trying to make
the most strained like meta connections between various, you know, books, movies, works of art.
And then you start trying to create original content based on your strained meta connections.
Totally, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, TV Tropes, like, hey, TV Tropes, maybe you don't actually maybe you don't
actually like this
I think I think that's the title for the episode.
The website is always
thefpl.us
We have a forum called Ball Pits
where theoretically
you could
you know what? You could
pitch your story ideas
to as many insightful comments as you would get from...
The comments from Bulbin will be equally as helpful.
Hey, what's the onomatopoeia for our URL?
BULB IT!
Alright, thanks so much.
Talk to you later. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
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Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
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Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.. W-W.E. W-W.E. W-W.E. W-W. You know what would make Clockwork Orange better is if it were Marge.