The F Plus - 153: What A Rip Off
Episode Date: November 2, 2014With so many websites run by people with dubious ethics (take this one for example), we've been introduced to RipoffReport.com; an Alexa ranked website where the people who've been wronged can le...t the world know. With nearly 2 million reports filed, these people have a story to tell, but the story starts and ends with duh. This week, The F Plus wants to talk about your MILFaholism.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The people who subscribe to this network, including but not limited to
Fark.com.
Nope.
Po News.
Nope.
Criminal gang stalking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gangs of cover-up criminals.
Gang stalkers are also slowly but surely being tied to the smiley face gang.
The smiley face gang.
I remember them from the game Manhunt.
Dick Tracy's archenemies.
Emoji death squad.
Trying to save the trees.
I bought a plastic bag.
The bottom fell out.
It was a piece of crap.
Piece of crap.
I saw it on the tube.
I bought it on the phone.
Now you're home alone and it's a piece of crap. Piece of crap. Welcome to the F+, a terrible place for terrible things read with enthusiasm.
I'm sure you won't regret it.
In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear.
Vivid Video Austin Powers XXX Porn Parody Scam.
This has actually been replaced with several copies of actual Austin Powers movies.
What a rip-off. PORTAX!
I paid $10 for a ball pit
account and then couldn't post my
Looney Tunes porn on there. Rip-off.
What a rip-off. JOHNTOAST!
Nintendo 3DS Hatena being greedy with
money. 3DS Hatena charges unaffordable
fees. Raymond Washington. What a rip-off. STOG!
Grotto's Pizza. No toilet
paper. Bethany Beach, Delaware. What a rip-off stog grotto's pizza no toilet paper bethany beach delaware what
a rip-off adam bozarth you pay your fee and then they ban you and you get to give you the opportunity
to re-register for another fee i asked for a refund and their response in email format was
ha ha ha we don't do refund sucker now get lost and lemon I disliked the ground up chicken neck,
skin, fat, combs,
sex organs, kidneys, livers,
anuses, and other parts.
What a rip off?
Hey F+.
Hey Lemon.
How are you guys doing? Do you think that you're
informed consumers? No.
No. I don't know what informed
means.
Well then you're not. You're not an informed consumer if you don't know what informed means. Well, then
you're not. You're not an informed consumer
if you don't know what the word informed means.
I also drink shampoo.
Alright.
Well,
so I want to introduce
you to a website called
theripoffreport.com
The ripoff report
uses the font Impact, which is good because it creates a lot of impact.
And they inform people about, you know, ripoffs that happen, you know, like scammers that are trying to take your money.
This is a service that this website wants to provide by consumers for consumers.
Their slogan is,
Don't let them get away with it, registered trademark.
Let the truth be known, trademark.
So don't let them get away with the Stephen King book, it.
So is this a Glenn Beck spinoff, or is this a John Stossel thing?
It's about time we take a break from doing comedy
and get to some real informative issues for the listeners.
Yeah, so to that end, John Toast, your name is They Took My Money.
You're from Chicago.
How did you get that one?
So you live in Chicago, and eWritingPal took your money Is that right?
Uh, yeah
Well, tell us about it, won't you please?
Well, the thing is, I'm from Chicago
Right
eWritingPal.com, write my paper for me
They promise a professional paper
Sure
They copy and past from Wikipedia
From Wikipedia's past
Also, internet.
Wikipedia and the internet.
There's a period after Wikipedia, and then I say internet.
Okay.
Tell me more.
Shut up.
Oh, sorry.
Jesus.
Damn it.
Okay, I found them through Google search when I had a problem doing a paper that was due in 15 days.
I should have done it myself or never done it.
But there was no good reason to trust them.
Okay.
Why did I?
Okay.
There was no good reason to trust them.
So since there was no good reason to trust them, I put the order in to be written.
And they promised that and this is from their website and not my world.
They stated our writer's commitment to work defines us.
Oh, boy.
Yes.
We guarantee high-quality content
free of miscellaneous mistakes.
It's only specific mistakes.
Yeah.
Great care is taken by every writer
to research the project.
After the completion of research,
they proceed with the work.
This ensures that all work done by our writers is of the highest quality.
None of this is in quotes, so I assume this is a testimonial at this point.
They do the work, so that means the work is of the highest quality.
Yeah.
So I put in the order.
I put the order in, rather.
You put the order in, and then you delivered a testimonial,
and then you put another order in, according to this writing.
Yeah, and then in seven days, and the work was done.
Why would he need someone else to write his paper for him? This is so clear on its own.
Then I
look at it, and it seemed okay.
Later, I found out that my paper
was 100% copy and passed
from Wikipedia.com. Don't know those
cheaters! I hate them now!
I am not exaggerating.
It is 100% copy and passed
from Wikipedia.org.
Different website now.
They copied it
from Wikipedia.com and then they copied it from
Wikipedia.org. Word by
word.
I asked for my money back and they told me that
they will not do that.
Okay.
That's a good policy if
you write fake reports for people.
Now, I have files a claim for chargeback with my bank and also report the matter to FBI.
Dear FBI, I'm really stupid.
It's not said here, but it's also implied that the world is not fair because there is no transcript or recording of that call.
That's something I want to exist in the world right now.
Yes, there is.
We're just not allowed to hear it.
By the way, do not trust them.
They are deceivers.
What, the FBI?
So my name's Robert.
Along with writing and ethics, I guess math and economics isn't your thing either.
I like to capitalize things.
I will not stop even though I have to go to India and find one of them and get my money back directly from them.
That was what you said.
And to that I say, so you're going to spend a couple thousand dollars to try and find some anonymous person in India and possibly get back a couple hundred.
Well, I'll save you the trouble.
Just send me the price of the airfare and hotel
and I will send you back the couple of hundred dollars you spent.
I don't actually know what college you're going to,
but I would seriously question their admission
policies. And then you
are response number four there. I took my money.
Or they took my money.
Just adding to my...
Look, people.
I know that what I did was wrong,
and I should do my own writings.
No, you shouldn't.
That is not the point.
Shut up. No, it's not the point.
They said that they give back a good job.
They just copy and pasted from Wikipedia.org.
It is about being false.
Oh.
It's not the point.
But double false is like super duper false.
A double false is like a true.
Don't you know the saying, there's always honor among thieves?
I think that's how it went.
Anyway, so I'm trying to warn people so they don't do business with them in future.
That is all.
So I'm trying to warn people so they don't do business with them in future.
That is all.
Time to time, you see that eWritingPal comes on and says nice things about company and angry things to people who complained about eWritingPal.
Don't let them get away with it.
Give it to them.
They have made a bad enemy.
I will not stop, even though I have to go to Indian and find them one by one
and get my money back directly from them.
So you're just gonna...
Hey! Hey! Indian!
Did you copy my shit on Wikipedia?
No? Alright!
How many more of there are you?
I don't like where the Taken series is going
with this. Hello, operator, get me everyone
in India! So you liked where the Taken
series was starting? I don't know.
Okay. Hey there! Hi! series was starting? I don't know. Okay.
Hey there.
Hi.
What's up?
I'm Rebecca Christie.
Hey, Rebecca.
I'm from Houston, Texas.
I got a problem.
That's a good Texas accent.
You got to go with that.
Thank you.
You're a Southern belle.
I certainly am.
Yeah, poetryetry.com, Poetry.com vanished and took all my poems.
Oh, no!
The poems are like my babies.
Some are copyrighted, Internet.
My babies are all copyrighted.
Why do they always say Internet after?
I guess that's just a thing the site does.
Yeah, it's got to be.
Although this one's capitalized it.
Poetry.com had several of my poems
and they sent to the old poetry.com.
Okay, sure.
I edited them and resubmitted them
as suggested by poetry.com.
I edited them and submitted them.
Good job.
They disappeared. You didn't edit this post, but you know. Good job. They disappeared.
You didn't edit this post, but you know.
No, I did not.
Then Poetry.com disappeared.
I think she's trying repetition.
It's a well-known poetry technique.
That's true, yeah.
They were all under the name Rebecca Christie.
Somewhere copyrighted.
This is tantamount to theft.
Nope.
Nope.
Let me explain how theft works.
My poems are like my babies, and they were kidnapped.
Rebecca C., who's to Texas?
So, Adam, give me a dollar.
Okay.
Okay, I've lost your dollar.
Ha ha! I've stolen your dollar. Ha ha!
I've stolen from you!
That's tantamount to theft!
Give me that dollar back!
I hope there's nowhere that you can complain about my shady business practices.
I'm just going to have to go to ripoffreport.com.
First of all, I have quite a complaint here, I think.
What do you got?
www.kate-blanchett.com
www.kateforums.org
Kate Blanchett's source.
I'm going to both.
I want to see if they're different sites, but go ahead.
Kate Blanchett's source, the forum, sexual discrimination. Oh, hey, that was my name when I was in to both. I want to see if they're different sites, but go ahead. Kate Blanchett, Source, The Forum, Sexual Discrimination,
Semicolon, Age Discrimination, Semicolon,
Geographic Discrimination, Athens, Ohio.
No internet here, though.
Oh, because I see.
Internet is where did the ripoff take place?
Other sites said the internet because it's a website.
This took place. Oh, thank you.
This is internet-related.
Reading comprehension.
Rip-off.
Reported by Trevor.
Fan site devoted to Cain Blanchett,
but discriminates on sex, age,
and geographic location.
Room site is built around
a bigoted Republican moderator from Texas
who is very proud of her marijuana abuse. You know, as those bigoted Republicans moderator from Texas who is very proud of her marijuana
abuse.
You know, as those bigoted Republicans are wont to do.
You don't smoke weed, get the
fuck off the Cate Blanchett forums.
Google
Rick Perry 2016, man.
The light of creativity
in this site proves the moderators
are high on marijuana
and have the IQ of a river
clam. Oh, damn!
It is a boring website that ensures
your admittance and acceptance if you
share the views of its
moronic moderators.
That's a great point! I'm on
kate-blanchett.com and, like,
all of their content is, like, photos of
Cate Blanchett, news about
Cate Blanchett, like about Cate Blanchett.
What the fuck?
Where's the forum?
Somebody posted a picture of me that was Cate Blanchett saying that I suck.
Thanks, Doc.
You're welcome.
The color scheme has not changed in years.
Okay.
And the site actually has ripped off ideas from sites such as
capeblanchettodnet
and
cape-forums.com
I had no idea this turf war was going on.
The proper way to keep a website
fresh, a design fresh,
is to change your color scheme
about every three months.
It's like the seasons, you know?
Oh, it must be autumn.
The sites are changing they have
brown you get a pair of like sexy dice but instead of like suggestions they're like colors all right
and purple and green oh my god dude patent that because you could sell that to graphic designers
for like 30 bucks a pop yeah anything that makes a decision uh-huh yeah yeah yeah yeah fucking get
that on medium.com.
You'll make a killing.
Head to go-go.
Here I come.
A site for mean white girls who enjoy backstabbing one another while going to Sunday service
to sing in the choir to Jesus.
Huh.
Colon.
Phony mean girl tripe.
Delicious.
Mmm.
$3 a pound.
I'm fresh every morning.
No wonder
Cate Blanchett will have nothing
to do with this site
Beware if you have
a differing opinion you'll be
banned
Hey guys I don't really like Cate Blanchett so much
If you don't like Cate Blanchett
get the fuck out of my forum
I'm just trying to get my Blanchett on
There is no sense of humor to this site.
A drudge site.
In the Matt Drudge family of sites.
Oh, well, Republican reactionism isn't going so hard.
Hey, I know, Kate Blanchett.
Put on my stupid hat and get to work.
The moderators dry their dishes with their own hair.
Is that an expression?
No, it's just evidence that he's dug up against these people.
That sounds like an insult that was poorly or couldn't be translated from another language.
No, it's like one of those things that it's like an expression in Poland.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, well, in Lebanese, that's what it means if you do it, like, literally.
But it's got other connotations.
It's kind of hard to translate.
So this document was put together by Lady Frenzy.
Thank you, Lady Frenzy.
Lady Frenzy.
Lady Frenzy.
Hey, guys.
I hope you're okay with gasping.
Because there's something. Yeah, I'm okay with gasping because something very terrible is about to happen.
I'm sorry to tell you that somebody was ripped off by a psychic.
Oh, no.
Well, I was all ready to gasp, but then I started laughing.
In Miami.
Oh, is this
a Dave Barry column?
Stog, if you will take
the complaint review about Nicole Evans.
Okay. Second game Miami.
A goal on Globus Film.
You are Calogero.
Calogero 05.
Complaint
review. Nicole Evans.
Nicole Evans have been down on my luck for a while
So I decided to go see a psychic
A few weeks ago
I found one online
By the name of Nicole Evans
She made me pray over water
And take it to her
She also made me write down a prayer
On a piece of cloth and wrap money up in it
Is this another poem?
Is this another piece of lyrics that you guys should be singing or something?
Yesterday, we did a prayer with the water.
I'll remit you.
Cloth and money, and as I suspected, the water turned black.
That's what you suspected?
Wait, so is the rip-off that it turns
out she actually is magic?
The rip-off is she gave me a bad fortune.
Her acting was pretty bad,
but I figured it was part of the show.
She must have slipped something
into it while I was looking.
She told me I had to leave the money with
her so she could meditate on it.
Against my better judgment, I left the money with her.
I thought you had much better judgment on hand.
She called me later saying it would cost $7,000 to contain the bad energy.
The bad energy in the money?
Yeah.
Are you saying a psychic used New Age bullshit to rip you off?
I'm going back again to see her, but I'm not sure if she'll give me back the money.
Ha!
Alright.
You don't know her like I know her.
Look, we have so many spirits in common, it'd be a real hassle if I left her.
Anyway, this lady needs to be put away for scamming people this way.
But still let me see her.
I got an appointment next week.
I went to go see a psychic
by the name of Nicole Evans.
Okay, whatever.
Go ahead.
What a coincidence.
We're in an episode of Quantum Leap now.
Just bear with me, okay?
Scott McCool is here somewhere.
It is a little weird
how many times Quantum Leap
has been name-dropped in this podcast.
As other people have said, she made me pray over water.
She also made me wrap up $2,700 in a cloth and wear it close to me.
But when I took the cloth off, the money wasn't there!
Yeah, I don't get what happened there.
Whatever.
We did a prayer using the water and the cloth with the money.
As I suspected, the water turned black after the prayer.
Oh.
She must have slipped something in there while I wasn't looking.
Sounds so familiar.
Against my better judgment, she told me to leave the money so she could meditate on it.
I think we're reading the first draft.
I think we're reading the first draft.
So Adam, do you still think the monkey moms are the stupidest people?
Kind of.
She predicted her own writing in this post.
This isn't a stupid guy, it's a very smart goldfish.
It was only until after I left that I foiled out that she is a scam artist.
Oh, really? Because I found that out a long time ago.
You may have found it out, but I foiled it out.
He foiled it out.
Afterwards, she called me and tried to convince me to give her $7,000 to help contain negative energy.
Sure, yep.
Quote, unquote.
I'm supposed to see her again today,
but I'm not sure if she'll give me back the money.
She needs to be brought to justice.
I think she might be a witch.
Clearly she's put some sort of fucking spell on you.
Anyways, like I was saying,
her acting was pretty bad,
but I figured it was part of the show.
I went to go see a psychic by the name of Nicole Evans.
So my name's Jen.
This is, we are in the psychic section, by the way.
We went from internet section to the psychic section.
So my name's Jen.
Hello.
Hello. I would like to give you my personal experience with Staffa.
My boyfriend at the time had felt as if his family was placed under a curse.
He would have done anything to help him with this.
Whether or not I believe in the curse wasn't an issue because it was all about him.
So I went to see Staffa.
Staffa told him he needed protection, which would cost dollar sign space $5,000,
which I foolishly paid him the money since my boyfriend did not have the money.
In Africa, they actually charged $20 for the same protection, in which I discovered later.
For some reason, the whole time she called him Mark.
That wasn't his name.
That's weird.
Also, at the time, we were considering marriage.
He assured us The marriage would work
Did not see any infidelity
Everything would be good
He said that we would
Have a baby boy
We felt confident
Guess what
We got married
He cheated multiple times
With multiple women
He had multiple women
Sending him naked pictures
Of themselves
Therefore his phone
Was always locked
There was never no baby boy.
And we have since separated.
So, being the psychic that he is,
how would he have failed to see this important factor?
I don't know.
It's the damnedest fucking thing.
It's like his, yeah.
Anyway, so my ex-husband still has lots of issues in his life
in which he was never protected from.
Also, it is not advised.
No.
Oh.
Boy, this sentence is...
Okay.
Also, is it not advised, prevents divorce in the newspaper ads?
Advertised.
Oh.
Also, is it not advertised?
Okay, so no matter how I read this, it still doesn't make sense.
Also, is it not advertised prevents divorce in the newspaper ads?
White in his teeth prevents divorce.
That's supposed to be read in an enraged Southern lawyer accent.
I say, is it not advertised in the newspaper ads?
When confronting Staffa, he says it is our problem and we should deal with it.
This is not Staffa's problem. Goodbye.
I predict you letting me keep all the money.
There are two things in this world. Staffa's problems and fuck you.
When did Staffa get back from Eastern Europe?
He did not want to be involved.
He hung up the phone on both of us at times.
At some point in his life, he will be judged accordingly.
But until then, we...
For further information, please feel free to contact me at any time.
My number is redacted.
It is a crime to take money from vulnerable people.
Read stupid.
And provide no unreliable
service.
My name's Leah.
Oh, hi, Leah.
I think he's great.
Okay.
I have known Stafford for three years, and I am thankful to have the privilege of knowing
him. He is kind and honest,
and my life would be very, very sad without his help.
He brought the love of my life back to me,
and no amount of money would be enough to thank him.
That's right.
No amount of money would be enough to thank him.
You know, you sound a little bit like Stafford.
What?
I drew his face on a pillow.
Thanks, Gypsy from Mystery Science Theater.
He is insightful and truly a godsend.
I say thank you, Stafford. Keep up the good work.
Also, you have such a huge cock. I say, thank you, staffer. Keep up the good work.
Also, you have such a huge cock.
Well, you drive the coolest car in town, staffer.
Keep up the good work, because I know I still need your advice and help.
Advice, maybe.
Help?
Help. Advice, maybe. Help? Help!
So we're going to move away from the topic of psychics because there's other things to talk about.
Other people that have been ripped off by Burger King, poor Tex.
Your name is M-Dash,
and you have a complaint about Burger King in Lowville.
In Lowville. Is this written by Billy E Burger King in Louisville. In Louisville.
Is this written by Billy Eichner?
Louisville.
It's just Louisville.
It's nothing special.
Let's see.
I need to write a report about Burger King in Louisville.
All right.
Well, then I go ahead, I guess.
OMG.
Really?
Well, I don't usually do fast food, but they were having a grand opening, you know, special occasion.
Yeah, of course.
That's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Be part of history.
Let's roll out the, I guess let's call it a red carpet.
We call it a ketchup carpet around here.
Yeah, the carpet wasn't red originally, just don't ask.
And my husband wanted to go there.
Burger King on the corner of Main Street and Valley Avenue in Louisville, Texas.
I ordered the Steakhouse Maroon and Swiss Burger.
I'm going to take you to my maroon.
Now the sandwich alone is $5.50.
And as if that wasn't bad enough, the combo was $7.50.
Oh my God. Oh my god.
Oh my god.
That's rascal gas money I'm wasting here.
I ordered the combo because it looked like it was worth it.
Because they never take special pictures for that shit.
However, space comma, when I got it, no space comma, it was nothing like the picture on the window.
Only had a little tiny bit of mushroom gravy
and then a few tiny
dehydrated mushrooms
what is this fast food
this horse shit
I literally fell off a turnip truck
yesterday
it looked to me like
buying this attachment to my vacuum cleaner didn't improve my life.
What?
This is the girl who, like, in the infomercials really can't do all the stuff that's in gray.
Yeah.
So what did the mushroom gravy look like?
It looked to me like it was the same mushroom gravy you buy in a jar.
What?
Nope.
Significantly cheaper.
Burger King makes
so much money, though.
How do you think
that they could afford
to have somebody
make this stuff?
You would think
the Burger King
sous chef back there
would be very disappointed
in their own handiwork.
I was just surprised
there wasn't a cartoon
French chef in the back
that was, like,
making it from scratch.
The picture in the window
showed a huge burger
bursting with Swiss cheese and mushrooms.
Oh, that's never from the mudroom.
It also showed thin multicultural people eating it.
Did you see those inside?
Real fresh mushrooms, that is.
Got a new one now.
When I asked the clerk, where's the mushrooms?
He said, that's all they had. And was a rude, total jerk to me.
So don't waste your money.
Because as I told him, it was a ripoff supreme!
Nice, nice.
And yet I would never buy anything from them again!
They offered no apology!
Marine!
Louisville, Texas!
Now apologize to me!
So yeah, she's doing like the whole Batman thing,
where it's just like, I swear that's all the mushrooms we have.
Swear to me!
The responses on this are great.
They're not worth reading,
but I just love the idea that four separate regulars on Ripoff Report
call this woman out for being an idiot.
And I like that one of them suggests that person, that marine watch falling down.
I don't need to watch it, I live it.
Adam, which restaurant annoys you the most?
Is it McDonald's or is it Pizza Hut?
Oh, boy.
I want to say that I've had worse
experiences at McDonald's.
Makes sense. Alright, great.
So, McDonald's restaurant
is False Informing.
I'm assuming you knew that. Oh, of course.
And your name is Ya.
So, McDonald's restaurant,
False Informing. You had an experience
in Fort Wayne, Indiana. And tell us about it, please.
On Christmas Eve, I had to stop by the pharmacy to pick up some last-minute things for X-Mas.
Some Allegra for you.
Yeah, what the hell?
Some cough drops for you.
Some scratch-and-sniff stickers for my boys.
On my way home, I was tired and hungry, and it didn't feel like cooking.
So I thought I would grab a bite to eat before returning home.
I drove downtown Fort Wayne to see if any place would be open.
Wendy's, Arby's, Talk to Cobell, Relay's, Subway, Burger King, all had their banner lights shut off but mcdonald's
yeah they had all their lights on oh yeah did you consider food at all or i said i was hungry
and i didn't feel like cooking okay yeah so so those are the options so mcdonald's is open
christmas eve i'm sure their their minimum wage staff are happy to be there yeah oh yeah and Okay, yeah, so those are the options. So McDonald's is open Christmas Eve.
I'm sure their minimum wage staff are happy to be there.
Oh, yeah, and I'm sure the clientele has been aces.
I pulled around to the drive-thru, and it was even lit up.
I waited, and I waited.
Setting there, burning up gas in a big four-wheel drive pickup,
and I waited.
Shocker.
How rude, malaced, and deceiving!
What was he going for with malaced?
Malice, I believe, which I don't believe is a word.
No.
Malice.
They kept you waiting with malice in their heart?
If they're going to close, at least turn off the banners lights.
All other businesses did.
This is false advertising.
I am very upset and should follow through with the complaints to the Federal Trade Commission, BBB,
and every other conceivable website on the internet.
Yeah! MetalBBDtalk.com. every other conceivable website on the internet.
Yeah!
AdultDVDTalk.com McDonald's Restaurant,
South of Columbia,
Fort Wayne,
Indiana.com
They will know the righteousness of my anger crusade.
I was waiting for you to make your joke,
and then I was going to go,
oh, I'm going to top it with adult DVD talk
fuck
I then drove to the
McDonald's
shut up guys
I then drove to the McDonald's on 202 East
what?
Rudisill
Fort Wayne, Indiana
rename your fucking streets
I then drove to the McDonald's on
202 East Rudisill Boulevard all lights and banners were lit I pulled around to the McDonald's on 202 East Rudisill Boulevard.
All lights and banners were lit.
I pulled around to the drive-thru.
The drive-thru terminal was lit.
After the car in front of me pulled off
and a two to three minute wait,
a voiceover came through the drive-thru station saying,
Welcome to McDonald's.
Would you like to try a delicious McDonald's mocha this evening?
What an asshole.
McDonald's mocha?
McDonald's Museum of Contemporary Art
this evening?
It's the museum you can eat.
I replied, no.
I will just have three,
brackets three,
one, brackets one, dollar double cheeseburgers, please.
Why is it not double, brackets two X, brackets?
Yeah, when he did the letters thing, that made this a legal document.
And I waited.
And I waited.
There was no reply.
Please pull around to the window to pick up your order. Wait, but there was no reply. Where around to the window to pick up your order wait but there was no reply
where did that quote come from
I waited
again burning up expensive gasoline
in the big 4x4 pickup truck
man why didn't McDonald's make him buy
a shitty truck
I then pulled around
to the window where I observed
a short young obese African American that was cleaning.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
She tried to rudely ignore me and not to laugh.
What?
Yeah.
She tried to rudely ignore me and not to laugh.
Finally, she waved as in the wrong way.
She gave me a waiver to me saying,
We're closed.
And I yelled, Yes, but you took my order.
Okay.
I don't know who the jokester here is.
Gangstalkers.
But this joke is not going to be on me.
Yeah, because it's a past tense joke.
beyond me. Yeah, because it's a past tense joke.
There are too many
people out there who need jobs.
Evidently, the false informer
representing the McDonald's
at 202 East
Rudisill Boulevard
doesn't value their job enough.
This is like the kind of person that has
just a whole host of like really shitty offensive
political opinions and bases it on stories like this yeah no they shouldn't have health insurance
because four years ago i went to a mcdonald's right this is a guy who has a lot of like horrible
stories that either end like either start at mcdonald's or end with, so my dad bailed me out and point blank.
They should be fired.
This is an act of malfeasance.
Must I repeat myself?
This joke is not going to be on me.
There is no joke.
You are the joke.
You are the big fucking clown in this story.
I don't know.
I'm getting turned around in this whole McDonald's place.
Honey, where were you?
The kids went to sleep three hours ago.
You have to help me get depressed.
You're not going to believe.
I was on Ritacil.
There was a short, young, obese African-American.
Just like, what?
And who doesn't have food at home during Christmas?
This asshole.
My theory is that he went to the pharmacy first to pick up his antidepressants,
and then he's like, well, I gotta get depressed first, so...
Let's have a McDonald's adventure.
Now even worse, a lady from the McDonald's corporate office calls me about this complaint.
Oh, that is worse.
Her explanation.
corporate office calls me about this complaint. Oh, that is worse. Her
explanation. Oh,
sorry. They forgot to turn
off the auto greeter at the drive
through. Now, this
takes the cake for lame excuses.
There were signs posted on
the drive through terminal stating that they
were closed. Oh, please.
Which quote is which at this
point? This is
me taking you back to my phone call.
All right.
If you're going to lie, at least make it a believable one.
Do not do any business at McDonald's.
And then this guy, like, totally gets into a fist fight in the comments with McDonald's employees.
Post what an idiot he is.
Look, Mr. Moron.
Yeah, that's one of the posts.
That's his response to, you can't be serious.
Yeah, he gets a toll to him by a happy one with Chatter Dreams with a Z.
Hey, Stog.
Hello.
And by Stog, I mean T-Dog.
I'm sorry, T-Bone.
T-Bone, your name is.
So, T-Bone, what happened the last time
you were trying to fuck a milf?
It turned out she wasn't a mom at all.
What a fucking ripple.
Did fucking a milf go well for you?
I fucked her, but I didn't like it.
There's a reason you called me T-Bone,
but I'll tell that story later.
Mother, I wouldn't mind fucking.
Okay, so this is a complaint review
about casual MILF.
The extra F is for fucking.
Mother, I'd like to fucking fuck. Mom, I'd like to fuck fuck. Mother, I'd like to fuck.
Mom, I'd like to fuck.
Mom, I'd like to fuck fuck, yes.
Well, then it should be M-I-L asterisk F.
Mother, I'd like to fuck frequently.
This is for websites and dating services.
Casual mother, I'd like to fuck fuck.
It's fake internet.
Hey, it's fake internet.
It's a serious...
Forget it, Jake.
It's a serious scam, folks.
There is no intention of dating or meeting.
I am 46 yo in Chicago.
Yo.
If you look at the profiles of these women,
there are some very, very young-looking 50-year-old women on this site.
In Chicago, for God's sakes, a city with some of the fattest, chessiest, large-ass-fuck-fuckest women on the planet.
I'm not sure what you were saying about Chicago, but okay, we'll have to... We got the chessiest women.
Women who never do nothing but play chess.
Did he mean to say the cheesiest women?
I believe he meant to say cheese.
If you had ever been to Chicago...
That's true, there's a lot of cheese sauce in Chicago.
The site just makes up
profiles that they think you might just
be interested in. What?
Or they pay women to play the game
with men. Oh, fuck this.
I'm going to Ashley Madison then.
Like cyber
wolf fuck or sorry
phone sex operators.
You don't know what
cyber W
five asterisk means?
Cyber whore?
I'm going to guess cyber wank.
Cyber whore.
Cyber whore.
Oh, that's a popular game.
And maybe the company gives them a share of the profits, maybe.
And SpamBot just keeps sending buddy requests no matter how many people you insult.
buddy requests, no matter how many people you insult.
But I do think there are
a few real people who actually
type in responses to emails.
Well, now this makes me want to program
one of those buddy response
bots for these fake dating sites.
It makes one get offended if the person
insults them. Hey, I'm looking
for a good time. Fuck you. Well, never mind
then.
Fortunately, life has treated me well after a divorce.
Yeah, sounds like it.
Yeah, you sound like you're on the up and up.
So I have a bit of money to burn.
So 70 bucks is not that much.
But for most, it is a lot of money.
Wow, humble brag.
Somebody's got $70.
I mean, for some people, $70 is a fortune, but for me, I...
This is like an old Steve Martin routine.
You know, so I've got $70, I'll look up a milf on the internet.
By the way, I booted up an incognito window to go to casualmilfs.com.
It could not be more obviously a scam.
It's so obviously a scam.
And then I was like, oh, I'm a man seeking a woman.
I gave him my zip code.
It was like, great, give us your email and credit card number,
and we'll make you a member.
Do they put the cyber W fucks right on the front of the page?
No, but the footer says, webmasters, make money.
Nice.
If it makes you feel any better after being scammed by the site,
I asked the company for a refund last month and they refused.
That does make me feel better.
So when the spamambot sent messages,
I would insult the hell out of the Spambot or the Cybertruck.
No, Eliza, what do you want to talk about?
When I would punch the clown, it would pop up back at me.
So I'd really win $20.
Abyss, you say you're gonna
look back at me? Well, fuck you, buddy.
The messages
would stop, but the next
day or some other super
hot 50-year-old would want
to be my buddy or message me.
Even when I say
in my profile, NO
CHAT, in all caps
the still active
I'm the site that you're still an active member of
here's my email do not use it
man this reboot of war games is really bad
would you like to fuck a pussy
no fuck you fuck you!
Fuck you, Whopper!
They call me Whopper
because my data banks are huge.
Thanks, Johnny Five.
Yeah.
Even when I call the sender
a cyber fuck
or go away
cyber beef fuck
in the subject line they still write back
just as long as
you keep playing the game
believing you have a chance
Dan Brown's The Turing Test
I thought I bought a woman.
Turns out it's a robot.
And if anyone is interested,
I think this is a real good case
for a class action lawsuit.
Oh, yeah. Take it to the
Supreme Court, buddy. Idiots versus
Internet.
Maybe they'll destroy each other.
Day of
Dirtized Meetings. A dirt. Good, maybe they'll destroy each other. They had dirt-tized meetings.
Oh, the best misspelling.
The internet told me they was free pussy!
Where's the pussy, internet?
Wait a second, there are ugly women in my area?
Alright, polish it off.
Wait a second, there are ugly women in my area?
Alright, polish it off.
They adortized meetings, and they cannot prod one person who ever met anyone off of this website.
It's pure cyber fantasy selling the hope of meeting in reality.
That is fraud.
Intentional fraud.
People with no intention of providing what they are selling. Which is way worse than unintentional fraud. People with no intention of providing what they are selling.
Which is way worse than unintentional fraud.
Oh, I took all your money?
Oh, shit.
I'm so sorry.
Oops, I am keeping it.
I know a couple of lawyers who might want to take this case.
Uh-huh. P.S. Watch out for similar sites.
Easyhookup.com
Jesus Christ.
Naughtyadcheating.com
Naughtyadcheating?
Milfaholic.com
Trevor, we need to talk to you about your MILFing.
I ain't Trevor, I'm T-Bone.
That's what? No, no, no, no.
You want me to tell you the story why I'm called T-Bone?
No, sure, go ahead.
I forgot it.
I wrote this down so I could just say it.
Okay.
The day you brought a MILF home was the worst day of my life.
Hey, John.
Yeah.
So this was, again, put together by Lady Frenzy.
Lady Frenzy.
There's a lot of categories here.
There's a lot of categories on the ripoff report.
here. There's a lot of categories on the rip-off report.
They're all kind of broken up into
police, politicians,
computer rental,
delis,
computer rental.
I was wondering about that one myself.
Lady Frenzy
has broken this up into the good categories.
Websites, psychics,
fast foods, dating sites,
and now adult services hey john uh did you
have a problem at dildo hut you know lemon if you just wanted to do the adult dvd talk episode again
you could just tell us tell us what happened at dildo hut hi i'mash as well. Just at the mall and it's like a sunglass hut. It's a dildo hut.
It's right next to Dildano's.
So the dildo hut.
Rip off lied, sold used dildos.
Lenexa, Kansas.
Oh.
I'm Bronx, New York.
Apparently in Lenexa, whatever.
Anyways.
So dildo hut is a sex shop in Lenexa, Kansas.
I believe you.
But since they are across the street
From an upscale mall
They have a cover business as a hair salon and tanning salon
Well
A few weeks ago
I bought a dildo at the store
And when I brought it home it was used
And tasted like shafuck
Hey hey hey That's the first thing I do with my dildo It tasted like shafak. Whoa. Ah!
Beer.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
That's the first thing I do with my dildo.
Waiter, there's more than my dildo.
I take it out of the package, and I put it straight in my mouth.
I don't know what it is.
It tasted, look, it tasted like shafak.
I'm just mentally replacing dildo with pizza for this story.
Well, that's good for you. When I asked them about it, they said that was how they came,
because they test them out and order it before they sell them.
And since I knew, then that meant that I had used it in some way that they couldn't return it.
My name's Carmine.
Wait, what's the way you use a dildo when you can return it?
Dildo entrapment.
If you build, like, a Home Alone, like, anti-intruder device with one.
Use, like, a butt plug as a giant sorry piece.
Like, is that fine?
Are we sure that somebody just
didn't play a joke on this guy that whenever
he writes pizza, it's supposed to say
it changes it to dildo?
Wait, so he bought an already used pizza?
He bought a used pizza at Pizza Hut
in Lenexa, Kansas, and
the people at Pizza Hut said, we tested it
and that's how they come, that's how they taste.
When I asked them about the pizza, they said that's how they came,
because they test them out before they sell them.
Although I guess I don't see any ripoff report listings for Bad Dragon,
so I guess they have an ultimately superior product to Dildo Hut.
Right.
Well, you can't type with us.
They care about the customers.
Portex, what did you just find?
I just found Joe Bolin. Oh, right. Well, you can't type with flaws. They care about the customers. Vortex, what'd you just find? I just found Joe Bolin.
Oh, right.
Yeah, my name is Jesse C.
Joe Bolin broke nose.
Joe is a drug dealer and a punk.
He has beating up lots of youngers.
He should be put in jail for life.
Just punching the stuffed animal from Invaders.
Yes. If you know Joe as a drug dealer, don't buy drugs from him.
Turn him in if ooh don't.
Then you will get ripped off.
Ripped off by a drug dealer? Oh no.
Where am I going to get my drugs from?
He will make you want to slap him.
He is so stupid and dumb.
If you know him as a punk, then tell the police.
And I pray for ooh
and I'll watch out for Joe Bolin.
Watch out,
Joe Bolin coming. Watch out.
Yeah, there is
a whole section on drug dealers.
Really?
Yep, they click on a category of drug dealers.
Category drug dealers?
You know when Joe Bolin does a strike, he says, all part of the game, baby.
Thanks, Doug.
Amazing.
You're welcome.
Boycott this drug dealer.
All right, so we've got to finish this up here.
Again, we've gone websites, we've gone psychics,
we've gone fast food restaurants, dating sites, adult services.
And now, our final category
is clowns!
Cream pie enema was not vegan.
I would be so happy if Joe Bolin
also was first thing on the clown site as well.
Joe Bolin, drug clown.
I got a clown naked and everything
under the neck was just a regular person.
I tasted the clown
and it tasted like
shafak. This juggalo knows how magnets work.
What a whole bunch of horse shit.
So Boots,
who was it that
offended you? Was it Balloon Twister of
NYC?
PolkaDots the Clown.
Or was it Jolly Molly the Clown,
quote, is your child scared?
Oh, dear.
It was actually the first
one. Oh, Balloon Twister of
NYC, Polka Dots the Clown. Yeah, Polka Dots the Clown
was the real problem.
Well, tell me about
Balloon Twister of NYC, Terry.
Yeah. I'm Terry.
And Balloon Twister of NYC, Terry. Yeah. I'm Terry. And Balloon Twister of NYC, Poké, that's the clown.
She is not all that New York, New York.
Oh, damn.
Yeah.
Poké dot.
Poké dot?
Poké dot.
Poké dot.
Poké dot.
Poké dot comes in wearing this costume that looks like a bad example of a
square dance performer.
So a clown.
She's dressed like a clown.
Look at this fucking clown.
This lady in Minnesota makes these costumes
and has sold many in her image
and said this is what a real clown
looks like.
Real clowns have curves, you know.
Say yes to this clown outfit. If you look at other clowns have curves, you know Say yes to this clown outfit
If you look at other clowns
Younger ones are doing their own thing
And have given up on square dancing ruffles
And blummers
For being original
Originality is important in clowning
So the complaint is
This clown was hack
I gotta give respect to all the clowns Coming up these days So the complaint is this clown was hack.
Yeah.
I got to give respect to all the clowns coming up these days.
You know, they're really innovating the genre. You know, my clown philosophy is that I think outside the nose, you know?
I just go beyond that.
Outside the little car?
Yeah.
Outside the tiny car.
Behind the paint.
Yeah, Pocket Dot says on her site,
professional clowns do not
wear rainbow wigs and
non-tailed costumes.
Guess what? Professional
clowns do not look like clown
clones who just left the farm in Minnesota
in a time machine from 1950.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why didn't we ever go there?
Oh, it's a long way
away. It's even past the twine ball.
It's behind the pizza farm.
Pizza ranch.
Clowns grazing in the field for two hours.
What about the balloons?
Were the balloons good?
Yeah, I'll say your balloons are nothing great.
Damn.
Your face painting, less in my opinion.
This is why clowns are not doing great in the U.S.
Yeah, that's why.
You're making us look silly.
Only you think your costume is that of a real clown.
By the way, your insurance is really low.
Like the rest of your clones.
What does that mean?
You look old school, not original.
Do you have to buy pie insurance?
Yeah.
Boys do not like clowns with
ruffles.
So that cuts
your business in half. Way to go.
Who's this fucking
clown super agent?
I think
this is a rough draft for a clown super agent. I think this is a rough draft for like a clown rap battle.
Terry there is the Nina Garcia of clowning.
Well, I do search for Polka Dot the Clown and it pulls up pictures of different clowns
that look rather similar.
All right.
So we're going to finish on one more thing here.
There's just one more thing to read.
And I'm going to read it, but it's up to you what you would
like. This is...
We're either going to read about...
There's three
options here. There's the World Clown Association.
Scammers.
There's Miss Sparkle's Delight.
Oh, God.
Also a clown. Scammer.
And then there's GameStop.
GameStop.
Yay, GameStop.
That sparkles the light.
GameStop the clown.
Clown GameStop.
Say, kid, would you like to buy?
You're getting ripped off at the trade-in, folks.
Would you like a GameInformer subscription?
Buy a car?
So this is my complaint about GameStop.
My name is Ben 10.
I like that cartoon.
An entry-level employee at GameStop
greets customers, discusses video games and systems,
organizes games, and rings up products.
Elementary, isn't it?
Then why is it that in about seven months
of applying for this entry-level position
in Hinesville, Georgia,
have I not gotten an interview for a minimum wage job?
I even indicated in some applications that I was willing to do part-time.
At that GameStop, it's probably the only thing you're going to get.
You can't possibly judge me to be incompetent without violating the law.
Is this seriously like a nice guy screed about getting a job at GameStop?
You don't know I'm incompetent
yet! I'm such a nice
employee. The GameStops never get
to know me. They go for all the jerk
employees.
I hang out at the GameStop all the time, but it just sees
me as a friend. It doesn't want me.
Here's why GameStop needs me, okay?
I have extensive video game
knowledge and playing experience.
I've owned almost every system since NES and have above average computer knowledge.
I have no criminal record.
Sounds like someone got Green Hill zoned.
Standing up.
Standing up for that one.
Perfect.
Perfect.
All right.
My age represents the video game
playing populace fairly well. They see me in the
store often. They know I'm familiar with the
surroundings of the store.
They know I don't get spooked when I hear
loud noises.
It's not a labyrinth.
They do this to me after I heard
from the manager herself.
It's bold.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Here's why it's bold. Herself.
Maybe that's part of the problem.
Boosh, at least one month
week out of the month, boosh.
Boo. Hey.
Hey, I didn't trust him, you know.
Look, I like women.
I like them enough.
Hey, give me a job, bitch.
Look, okay, give me a job, bitch. Look, okay, so I had to mention to herself that they were hiring during...
Andrew D&D Dice Clay.
That's pretty good, too.
Andrew 20-sided Dice Clay.
There you go.
That's it.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
So I go there.
They were hiring anyway.
So I go there frequently and occasionally see new people
I also notice an older
Male manager there
The workforce seems
Well hang on because at this GameStop
The workforce
Seems disproportionately
Female
That's a common problem with GameStop
They took our jobs!
Oh man, did I just walk into a bath at Body Works here?
Jesus.
Every time I go into a GameStop, I say it every time.
I've noticed this in some other retail stores in Hinesville.
I've only seen three men there who were non-managers and four total.
I've only seen three men there who were non-managers and four total. I've only seen three men there who were non-managers and four total.
So it's one male manager.
Yeah, but that's how I wrote that sentence.
Even if GameStop wants to hire women simply to attract men to their stores.
That's a horrible strategy for GameStop.
It's a horrible strategy.
What do men like?
I don't think they like video games enough.
Maybe we should get some women female employees?
I mean, the nerds are just going to go in there, pick up the game they want to buy,
see the woman working behind the counter, and go,
maybe next week.
Hey, have you guys got to do Modern Warfare?
I don't know.
Which Nintendo is it for?
Anyway, even if they wanted to do that, which I heard as some rumor, valid,
you can't reject me simple because I'm male.
That's indeed what they are doing.
I'm sure there's no indeed what they are doing.
I'm sure there's no other rationale.
Yeah, they rejected you simple.
Did it pretty easily.
What's even more annoying is that, as I observed the women over a period time.
You know how they are.
Over their period time.
Absorbed.
Oh, my god. I quickly realized that most of them knew hardly anything about
video games or current
or soon to be released video games.
It's like these retail employees
couldn't buy everything they were selling.
Like,
he doesn't give an example
so is he just like, quick,
list every single
song from Castlevania in order for release date? Yes, of course! Of course he just like, quick, list all the, like, every single song from Castlevania in order for
release date? He's just like, I don't know.
Of course he did that! Hey, what
is the exact experience unlock
list? What are the things that get unlocked in
Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, the exact order? Go!
What's your shivos, tit-haver?
Call of Duty 360!
I frequently
traveled the GameStop, traveled the GameStop
traveled the GameStop at Fort Stewart
from late 08 through late 09
they didn't share this mentality
in fact most of them were older
and it was about even male to female
I bet if I just sat there for the next six months
because I've sat there for the previous two years.
Continuing to make my interest
in employment known,
I would see Hinesville GameStop
hire three or four
more people, three to
four of them female!
And I wouldn't get an interview like
I'm some piece of crap not good enough
to work there already predetermined.
How's he gonna to do that?
Is he going to take a bunch of Xbox 360 video game cases and make a little fort?
Ben 10, do you think maybe you want it too much?
No!
I mean, look, it makes sense because I, you know, every week I go to the grocery store
and they know that I eat food and yet no one offers to hire me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, wait, do they quiz you about your food knowledge?
Well, I quizzed them.
I asked for the exact ingredients of taco in a bag.
They said, what the hell are you talking about?
Please leave.
Those are the customers waiting.
They don't even know where their bread is.
Yeah, so.
Hey, Portax, what are your food-chivos?
Well, I like food-chivos spicy hot.
Food-chivos.
Well, I eat an entire bag of them once an entire evening.
Oh, well then.
So, F+, what do you think you learned from any of this?
There's a bunch of dupes out there getting duped.
People are just, like, being angry.
I don't know, but we can't finish this episode without rereading the title of this one.
Rereading the title of this one, absolutely.
Yeah.
Oh, the title of this.
Klaus Heinz Birchman, renal ranger, renal ranger, toothless hobo, posting as dentist big time scammer.
What?
I guess his website
too is mouthglove.com?
That's what a dentist's
website would be called.
Anything else that you learned other than
the toothless hobo? I just learned
that even still, people just can't
let shit go.
The myth of the enraged and the Toothless Hobo? I just learned that even still, people just can't let shit go. Oh, yeah.
The myth of the enraged and the
injustice of the scammed
or consumer that had a
bad experience are going to take everything down!
It's just like, the whole
website is just basically like, well, we can
bank on everybody believing that if they write up the
screen, then suddenly everything will turn up
them. Yeah, sure. Let's just make
a whole site that's that. I'm just
surprised at the level of
denial some people live in that
they believe that they're entitled
to a sandwich that looks like the sandwich
in the picture. Yeah,
this whole site is like a shrine
to entitlement, basically. I know, like,
haven't you been disappointed more than that
over bigger things?
Exactly.
No, I haven't! My life still
sucks anyway!
Another thing is that, you know, as
mentioned before in the episode, is that
some people are
so dumb that they think everyone else is
far dumber than them.
Because just this thing of just like, oh,
the sandwich wasn't like how it was in the picture.
I assumed
that that was the case, but
the rest of you, you guys might
not know this. This thing that I just learned
that sometimes fast food sandwiches don't
look like in the picture and it doesn't taste very good.
You guys wouldn't know that
because I'm a fucking idiot and you're all dumber than me.
This is obviously the first time
it's ever happened. Hey guys,
I just got scammed by these milfs by chance
but some of you idiots might actually get scammed
by them. So, you know, just a heads up.
When it comes to scams,
there's a really great
forest through the trees problem
here, which is, I don't know if any of you clicked on
the corporate advocacy section,
but the ripoff
report in itself is super fucking dubious
because the whole point of the rip-off report,
if you actually look at what their pitch is and what their point is,
they have the corporate advocacy program where, as the business owner,
you can sign up, maybe give them a little
bit of money, and then you'll
stop showing up in Google
results when people show up to your company.
You can see screenshots
of them removing rip-off
reports. I had this
idea in college.
It was going to be
called thesepeoplesuck.com
and basically you would just add people to the list of this suck dot com and basically you would just
add people to the list of these is everybody
who sucks and you would have to pay ten dollars
to get your name removed
Adam, Adam, they ripped off your idea
rip off report dot com on
internet steals idea from stoner
in college
internet USA internet power that's that's that's
super that's super like impressive that they've that they've pulled that off and uh and i also
like that let uh that google's um google's totally caught on to this and they're like hey look at all these results of rip off report
and none of them show up
Google's figured out that that sort of thing
is happening
the website as always is
thefpl.us
where you can look at all these previous
episodes we keep all of the docs
for the episodes we've
read and in the case of this lady frenzy
document there's all sorts of other links in there Docs for the episodes we've read. And in the case of this Lady Frenzy document,
there's all sorts of other links in there, other stories.
Yeah, and if you've been ripped off by Ripoff Report, report it on Ball Pit.
Where do I go for Ball Pit?
That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T.
That sounds like a great place.
I'm going there right now.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Are shirts a ripoff?
Shirts are not a ripoff. There's five of them right now. Bye-bye. Bye. Are shirts a rip-off? Shirts are not a rip-off. There's
five of them right now.
Can you rip off the shirts?
I mean, it's not easy, but...
You have to come to my house
and steal them from me.
Or are you talking about Hulk?
I guess if you
cut the slits in them.
That's how you have to do it.
I do it on stage.
We do that for Mixed Up.
Welcome, Adam Bozarth!
Good gimmick.
Bozamania.
See, I just started off.
Bozamania.
Are we still recording?
Yep.
Okay.
Bozamania. Are we still recording? Yep Okay That's a little post maniac
It fell to the ground
Then we got out of the way
There's no need to panic
It's a panic jam
It's a panic jam
A panic jam
A panic jam
Hey! Christy Troppel.
She's been running a game on people,
going from place to place,
a fatter, living a one location for a while.
She concludes that the location is demonic.
It has to leave to go on somewhere else.
Basically, she's a moocher.
Yeah, it's getting pretty demonic around here.
Better get out of here.
These demons seem to have eaten all your cornflakes.
Bye!
What a great squatting that would be.
Just walk into houses.
Oh, there's demons here. You should leave.