The F Plus - 158: I Call It The Vaporhighzer
Episode Date: December 14, 2014Conventional thinking leads to conventional problems. And when a conventional problem needs an unconventional solution, you'll need to step outside of your own mind to really understand the unive...rsal problems. And maybe that all looked like gibberish to you, but I'll bet it makes a lot more sense you get super duper high first. At least, that's the typical first (and second and only) step taken by the people of HighDeas.com; a place where the marijuana-inclined can gather and discuss what geniuses they all are except there's no way to prove it. This week, The F Plus makes a burrito turducken.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Uh, Juicy Joints, uh, I do not want to use the bong.
I think that Buds and Hash are wrong.
Oh, fuck it.
It was just a matter of time.
This is the part of the open mic night where the dude taps his watch.
I was gonna clean my room until I got high I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got high
My room is still messed up, and I know why
Cause I got high, because I, hey, because I got high.
Because I got high.
Because I got high.
La-da-da-da-da-da-da.
I was going to go to class.
Hey, welcome to the F+.
It's a place for terrible things read with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Kumquat Sop.
You ever sit in a corner of your room
and push poop in and out of your own
butt with your butt muscles?
Feels good!
Ooh, Frank West!
The reason I don't think evolution happened
is there's still fucking regular
ass monkeys everywhere.
And no sub-monkey hybrid human apes.
John Toast.
Hey, hey, hey.
Poe shit every day.
Isfahan.
Yours are so weird.
It's like our arms split up into little arms,
and they hug everything we hold.
And Lemon.
We need three things.
Bong silencers, Bong silencers,
lighter silencers,
and a mute button on microwaves.
Imagine what my life's like.
A-E-I-O-U
A-E-I-O-U
And sometimes W
We ain't gonna sell none of these motherfucking albums, cuz
Let's go back to Marshall Durbin and hang some more chickens, cuz
Hey, F-Plus
Hi, Lennon
Hello
Hi
Do you like great ideas?
I love great ideas
I like them when they're mine, so I don't like them all that much.
Do you like
getting high? Yeah,
buddy! That sounds like a great
idea. Sure, I've been high lots
of times. I'm cool. Yeah, I do
it all the time.
I've had several of them.
I like to smoke the
pills? Yeah, that
sounds right. Well, by way of Montreth, I want to introduce you to a site called highdeas.com.
Okay, I don't know about drugs, but I like puns.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So highdeas.com, it's a website that's very green.
I mean, just visually, it's green.
And their slogan is, the best ideas, parentheses, while you're high.
So let's get this straight.
We have to qualify them.
Is this site spelled highdeas.com?
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Good.
High drug enforcement agencies.com.
And yes, the I is dotted with a pot leaf.
Thank you for asking.
Perfect.
Okay, so we're just going to start this thing off here with a post from Mongoose.
And Mongoose is a very serious subject.
John, if you'll take that, please.
Yes.
Either I am a mongoose or I'm talking about mongooses.
I don't know yet.
Oh, I'm a mongoose.
Yeah.
There's a picture of you.
I'm going to stop eating the snake for a second and say, okay, this is for serious.
All right.
Me and most of my friends are very, very good programmers.
Okay, I believe you.
And I'd like to point out, this is actually one parenthetical that actually ends, so, you know, good for them.
We are the only people Blizzard ever let work on StarCraft wheel not being employed at Blizz.
I believe you.
That sounds real.
Okay, guys. Are you with me?
Yeah, definitely.
If we straight up made
a Pokemon MMORPG,
stick with me here,
available for free,
we have to make it free
because we can't afford to use the software.
It's like $5 million, but if we make it free, we get the software free.
I think that's how that works.
No.
Wait.
Nope.
Hey, guys, I want to build this building, but don't charge me for anything because I'm building it for free.
If it doesn't cost any money, they can't sue us for copyright infringement, right?
Right.
That's how that works.
Would you play?
I'm sorry.
No.
Sorry.
Would you play?
I mean, you know.
If this gets over 500 upvotes, we will start programming our little faces off for reels.
This is like Kickstarter with even less of a commitment on the part of the people donating.
Seriously.
Yeah, we totally play that.
Seriously.
Okay, so most likely it will be available for the iPhone, Dread and PC.
And also only 2D Play available on phones.
Sorry.
We're putting stipulations on this thing that doesn't exist.
I'm sorry.
Well, in the first page of upvotes, there's somebody named PokeJizz.
So, can't wait for him.
But first, Frank West, you've got HighGuy11.
I'm HighGuy11.
I've got an avatar of Pime looking as happy as he's ever been.
Yes.
Good.
Dude, please do this.
It would be so awesome.
You should call it Tokei Mom. Oh, I do this. It would be so awesome. You should call it Tokemon.
Oh, I get it.
I've seen that shirt before.
It's Pikachu, but he looks like a Rastafarian.
It's pretty funny.
That actually is a left-hander radio sketch.
That's true.
Airbrush creation!
Chronic the Hemp Hog.
Ooh, love it.
Check out my idea about it.
Link.
Fuckin' damn it.
I came up with this idea, but I have no idea how to program games or anything.
First person on the internet to ever be in this situation.
Yeah.
I've got some really good ideas.
I would absolutely love to see this happen.
A dick about your vote, Ultimatum,
but I seriously hope you guys do this.
Feel free to use any of the Tokemon names I came up with
and the people in the comments.
This would be so sick.
Baked as a biscuit smile.
Yay!
So these people are people that are too useless
for the idea wiki.
Yep. Excellent.
Just because, you know, eventually poor Tex will hear this episode,
they're
going to be named shit like Potash,
Chronix, and
Chifachu, which barely,
I mean, that doesn't work at all,
Friachu, Budsprout,
Weeping Bud, and Victory Bud.
Oh, and Bulbasaur.
Oh, Bulbasaur.
So then there's like a double crossover, and then you have Tokei Girls.
Oh, God.
So now you're making weed and sex puns in the names.
Oh, man, I'm falling into a void.
Come Quatsop, your name's Smoke Herb.
That was a nice little pot laugh you had there.
I fucking love Pokemon.
Pokemon.
If there was an M-O-B-R-G-I-M-I-G-I-S in my pants multiple times.
Then what?
And then play it for three months straight.
Oh, yuck.
I don't think those two have anything to do with each other.
Hey, Smoker, what should I do with my life after two lines of text?
Well, after the lines, you should...
Tilda, smoke tree, be free, Tilda.
Words to live by?
I'm glad you clarified that it was two lines of text and not two lines of coke.
Right after I said that, I'm like, I'm probably going to have to...
Hey, guys.
My name's Eon, A-E-O-N.
I'm made of stars.
Okay, so 65 people super love my idea.
I assume that's how that works.
Maybe 65 people...
Nope, 65 people thought it was a good idea.
Okay, so sleep travel.
Take a pill and fall asleep at your hotel house.
They transport you to the airport and onto the plane.
That's kidnapping.
That's actually already a thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
At your destination, they transport you to your house next hotel.
Okay.
Okay.
Wake up in bed, ready to rock and roll.
No doubt any other season
traveler has thought about this many, many
times the day before departure
to Ellipsis Sai.
All you gotta do is
give a group of strangers access to your house
and you're good.
I call it human trafficking.
Yeah, my name's
Greenberg Kush.
Oh my god.
Hey, Greenberg.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's called astral projection.
No, it's not.
No, he's talking about actual travel.
Like, you're physically somewhere else when you wake up.
So, no.
Or we could just invent a teleporter.
And, Frank West, you're a Swifferhash.
Swifferhash.
I see him.
This idea could work like in the fifth element.
Locking the capsule from the inside
would be good to prevent unwanted touching.
Yeah.
Especially useful for those long travel flights.
So now you're not only being kidnapped, but you're being placed in a receptacle that makes getting out impossible.
Yeah, but, I mean, maybe not molested, apparently.
Hey.
Yo.
I'm SDQuest.
Oh, is that Stiquest?
Look.
Saint Quest?
Guys, yo.
UFOs have been doing this for years.
Look how well they're doing it.
Why can't I sue UFOs?
UFOs are going to claim copyright infringement.
So this is an unpopular idea.
It's about ghosts.
There's such a thing?
It's by NukesterCTP.
And come quats up. Play that one please yes hello my name is new
new caster yeah maybe something like
that yeah the reason that more ghosts
are in old places and of old spirits is
that when they died in more natural way
more DMT was naturally
released at their death
and it doesn't do that
anymore because of
modern prescribed drugs.
It affects the release
of DMT at death
so the sprit has no real
residual energy because of the
lack of DMT. So what's the
half-life on a soul?
Am I supposed to know what DMT is?
Yeah, I was gonna ask.
Yeah, I was getting it conflated with
DXM.
DMX? Oh yeah, there's not enough DMX.
Y'all gonna make me
lose my soul!
X gonna give it to ya.
Ghosts are made of radio edits where they sub in
dog sounds for the swear words.
Yeah.
Right.
So, more DMX.
Give it to the...
Isfahan, you're Panda Leary Jane, perhaps?
Sure.
My name is Hebrew letter Anda, Thai letter Eerie, another Hebrew letter Ain.
Probably.
And I am Poe from Kung Fu Panda
looking confused.
If you died, would you want
to haunt some house forever or go somewhere
better?
Come Quatsap, you have a response to that.
Uh, I'd
want to haunt Pupil Smoke
their weed while they sleep.
I'd haunt a drug dealer.
And?
And warn him when cops show up.
Perfect afterlife.
I think the Wayans
just copied that down for the plot for their next movie.
Reincarnated
as a burglar alarm.
But an alarm for the burglar
to know that they're about to get caught.
Narcs, narcs, narcs.
Yeah. Security is on
fire.
Oh no, the narc, man.
So,
Frank West, you've got a terrific
username. It's Temple of the Dog.
Oh, yeah.
I don't mind stealing bread.
Sorry.
There it is.
Yep.
And this is a very popular, popular, popular idea.
1603 people love your idea.
So what is it?
Last night, I was chilling with my 12-year-old cousin.
Oh, God.
Oh, boy.
Uh-oh.
Good start. He confessed to me Oh, boy. Uh-oh. Good start.
He confessed to me that his mom and grandma smoked marijuana.
Well, as I was picturing how that was going,
that was probably the best result.
So, I could continue.
I decided to tell him the truth.
Everyone smokes weed, I said.
All the people in our family smoke weed.
Smoking weed is awesome, and you will do it someday.
Is smoking weed like the new Vampire Hunter?
Smoking weed is awesome!
Your father smoked weed, and his father smoked weed.
This is a weed-smoking family, and I won't have you going out there smoking cigarettes.
Cigarettes? Get out of this house!
Now we know what made the Belmonts so special.
He found that cool, and then he told me he looked at boobs on Google.
I told him that was funny.
And that's in quotes.
It is in quotes.
So search for that exact term.
Oh my god.
Oh man.
And what did you tell him?
I told him that was fine too.
Of course.
That's an awesome ending to that story though.
I looked at boobs on Google. Good for you, man. That's an awesome ending to that story, though. I looked at boobs, all good.
Good for you, man.
That's fine.
That's fine.
I think that's actually how the old man in the sea ends, too.
My name's Bong the Ripper.
Yeah, Bong the Ripper.
I got negative one score, so not super popular.
Okay, so Bong the Ripper says,
Lashagab!
Laugh so hard, I got a boner.
Yeah.
That's all.
I actually was yawning during that.
But it was fitting.
My name is Traptar.
Okay.
I also have negative one.
I love this!
I voted down by accident.
Ugh, bummer!
I missed the vote up button.
It's fine.
You have a very important question you want to ask the internet.
I sure do.
What is that very important question?
Your name's Woody Pegasus, is that right?
That's right.
My name is Woody Pegasus and I got a question.
What's the question?
What happened to my foreskin?
This is actually a secret.
These Poirot episodes are getting really dark.
Here are the details as I understand them.
Hastings, I do not know where your foreskin went, but we shall find out.
After the doctors wheeled me away from my family at birth and sliced my wang,
where did the skin go?
It went on a magical adventure across the country.
I wonder if people request skin grafts of silky smooth baby foreskin.
I bet there's a market out there for this.
I wouldn't know.
I might not have searched for this at all.
Criminal organizations across the globe fight to control the baby foreskin trade.
It's known as the light brown market.
The saddest thing is, my foreskin is out there probably stitched onto Bruce Jenner's ass cheek.
I guess it's a non-zero possibility.
I mean, you're probably not right, but you might be right.
Oh, my God.
There's only one way to prove him wrong.
F-M-H-I-N-S ass tested for my foreskin.
All right.
So Montreux broke this up into sections.
Section one is called A Stoner's Life for Me.
We're going to finish up this section with one of three things that John will pick.
John, would you like the piece on Ron Paul, the piece on aliens, or the piece on Black Woman?
Wow.
Those are all really good.
This is a very, very hard choice.
It is.
It is.
I would love to hear Ron Paul talk about an alien black woman.
Yes, I would too.
Shit.
Come over here.
Shit, I gotta go.
I gotta go with Ron Paul.
I just, I gotta.
The others sound amazing, but come on.
Okay, here we go.
Ron Paul and Barney Lake.
Google Ron Paul boobs.
In quotes.
So you're Nehrim
610. Hey, I'm
Nehrim 610.
Ron, Paul, and Barney Lake.
So these two guys
just might be my marijuana saviors.
From the heavens.
I know we tend to talk nonsense on here,
but these people... What?
No.
Namely, Ron, might just be our step into breaking the marijuana laws.
Even if he were to end up being an asshole, at least our goals would be met at long last.
If Ron Paul were to one day end up being an asshole?
Theoretically.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is a nice break from all the nonsense
that gets talked on here.
And four years from then, who knows?
Parenthetical.
Insert things smart potheads talk about.
I'm self-aware enough to know that I'm not one of them.
The novelization of Matrix movies.
Either that or all those bullshit philosophy books that are like, here's a philosopher of Matrix movies. Either that or all those bullshit philosophy books
like, here's a philosopher of the Matrix.
All that good stuff.
Anyways.
Yes, exactly.
Then maybe we can get this ball rolling, ya dig?
I do.
We do what we do, though.
And I respect everyone for that.
I'm just happy I found a reason to vote.
You're a one-issue voter.
That issue is weed!
I cannot find a goddamn thing on the internet about Barney Lake.
Google seems to think it's an actual lake.
Yeah, I was really wondering that.
Did he vote for a lake by accident?
Maybe it's a strand of weed.
I don't know.
That's my marijuana savior.
The second comment is Nerim610 again, and he has something pretty insightful to say.
Oh, okay.
What does he have to say?
Well, naturally, who doesn't have something that wouldn't do something to someone in this country?
Yeah.
Think about it.
That's wisdom, man.
Who doesn't have something that wouldn't do something to someone in this country?
Yeah, so, yeah.
Think about it.
We were about to skip to the next
section, but first,
found a truth
uncovered. What did you
find?
Yes, hello, my name is
Johnny420.
Johnny420.
Yeah.
You're a Pokemon riding a giant bong.
Yeah,
actually.
Yeah, hi, poor Dax.
Yay! Hi, dear! Yeah, actually, that, yeah, hi, poor Dax. Yay!
Hi, Dia!
Yeah, that's the site you're on.
Good job, John.
Oh, my gah-gah-gah!
This whole website is run by the DEA!
Oh, nice!
Wait, how did you come to that?
Oh, I see.
In parentheses, HiDEA!
And they look up your IP address
when you submit a HiDEA
and go to your house and arrest you for smoking weed
or they search your house and find weed and bowls and stuff.
Oh my god!
Oh my god, you cracked it by looking at the logo which has high and lowercase letters and DEA in all caps.
Well, and also S in all caps.
Well, the S was there to throw you off, but you didn't fall for it, man.
The DEA has to announce anything attached to it.
Yeah, they gotta tell you if they're DEA.
Well, I was surprised I wasn't thrown off by the age gate at the beginning that asked if I was a cop or not.
And in parentheses it says, you gotta tell me if you're a cop.
Yes, you have to tell me.
Note, clicking this means you're a cop.
You have to tell us if you're a cop.
So section one was about the stoner life.
Section two is about cooking with stoners.
Frank West, how do I make a super quesarito?
I make a super quesarito? Make a super quesarito.
Super quesarito.
One.
This is a good place for you.
How do I cook? I need to cook.
Oh, man. Okay.
These instructions are complicated.
I would only suggest MasterChefs try them.
Step one.
Go order a Taco Bell
quesarito.
Why is there a step two?
So this is why you need
an expert doing this. Step two, go to Chipotle
and order a quesarito.
Wait, what the...
Wait.
Step three, right before they
roll that shit up, whip out your
Taco Bell quesarito and tell them to roll that shit
with it.
Step four, enjoy your super quesarito.
Now, if this had been on all recipes,
somebody would have been five stars.
This recipe is great if you roll the
quesarito in a steak and cheese sub.
This recipe is great. I went to Olive Garden instead.
I think Rappy M is Sandra Lee's pen name.
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Yep.
There's only one more thing on stoner cooking, and that's a place that I've thought of.
My name's Idea Machine.
If only there was a place.
I want to make a restaurant that has a giant vaporizer in the back that vaporizes a pound of weed,
and then the vapor flows through a bunch of tubes.
The tubes will be hidden and come through the center of each table,
so while you're waiting to order and waiting on your food, you can get super twisted.
Yeah.
Wow.
Let's install the high conditioning
system.
Each day they would have a different
strain or maybe
split the restaurant and
have one side
indica, perhaps, and
the other side sativa.
When weed becomes legal, I'm
going to do it.
I'm a chef, for some reason that word wasn't in quotes,
and want to know how many people would come.
So upvote if you would come dine there.
Oh, and comment with ideas for a dank menu,
because I can cook up a storm.
John, your username here, please.
Oh, I see.
Oh, God, okay.
Okay, I get it now. For For some reason you can't spell that word
What the fuck
Yeah, I know, right
Yeah, I'm username
Burgers and fries
Nachos, anything good
But you would also need some amazing appetizers
What a great suggestion
You need appetizers at your restaurant
Oh my god I got a couple follow-ups Appetizers. What a great suggestion. You need appetizers at your restaurant.
Oh, my God.
I got a couple follow-ups.
I comment in my own idea a lot.
Just a couple follow-ups I want to... That's what I'm talking about.
I made homemade...
I'm a chef, right?
So I make amazing homemade jalapeno poppers.
My favorite thing to make is nacho sticks.
Yep.
Yep.
That's something you...
That's pretty much a whole menu.
Then I go on explaining how nacho sticks work.
Anyway...
Yeah, congratulations.
You made a taquito.
Yeah.
Help me make this popular.
How do you make a super taquito?
You go buy taquitos at the store.
You bake them and then...
So, help me make this popular.
I want to see my ideas and see who else likes them so I can make this popular.
Or, sorry, possible.
Damn, I'm really high.
Oh, and I call the place Vaporhizers.
Damn, I'm really high.
Ooh, subtle, playing it close to the chest there.
Yeah, you should be right next to the military.
John, you're a U2 mofo?
Hello, I'm U2 mofo. You're a
middle-aged woman who's very happy.
Catch a tail from my voice.
Oh, it's a very British person.
Were you going Irish for U2?
You make me
something with feta in it
and I'm there. Feta tastes so fucking good
when I'm blazed!
I would definitely do that. I love feta too.
Damn, I'm really high.
Is that his signature? It's not.
He just likes that every time.
Well, in a way, it is his signature,
but not on the floor.
He just has to tell you how high
he is every time he posts.
Isfahan, you're a cuff-yo chick.
Okay.
Another idea you could
incorporate is a milk bar.
Oh, that's a good
You don't know what that is. It's basically
like any normal bar you would
go to, except they have
vaporized smoke
pouring out of the taps instead of
bear.
Roar!
It's in roar.
Boy.
You get lager glasses and place bear. Roar! As in roar. Boy. I'm gonna do it.
You get lager glasses
and place them
under the taps
and let the smoke
pour out.
Lines taking the smoke
to the taps
pass through
a liquid nitrogen tank
to quick chill it
so the smoke
sinks to the bottom
of the glass
when you fill it.
What the fuck?
Then you toss it back
and enjoy the best sip rip of
your life, smiley face.
Jesus Christ.
That's Milk Bar.
You know what I want to say to all these people? It's like,
I've got a great new amazing way to get
the smoke from weed into your mouth.
What you do is you roll it in paper
and then you get a lighter
and then you inhale that,
and the smoke's right there in your mouth.
No, no.
But what if I want to do that while eating at the exact same time?
Yeah.
Hello, I'm Bradley Adams 21.
Okay, hi, Bradley.
I fucking love you, man.
Death some burritos.
Oh, good God.
Anyone with me?
Ha!
Is he actually suggesting you put weed in the food?
Well, yeah, yeah.
So there's fucking smoke billowing out of the table,
and then there's weed in the food.
Well, the main thing is, if they do that,
they gotta make sure there's some butter on the table first
so that you can prepare it properly.
No, no, no.
This is gonna be like last time in... Was that Shroomery, where you just sprinkle weed
on a cracker and eat it?
Yeah.
Wouldn't wonder why you're not high.
Yeah.
If you have a giant vaporizer, then you need fucking edibles.
Rasta pasta, mooncakes, everything weed ingredients.
Have some normal shit on the side, though.
Frank West, are you ready for poetry?
I'm born ready for poetry. Great.
Well, this is a poem
by Tempest. I'm sure you've heard of him.
He's a very, very popular
poet on
ideas. And his
poem's called I Am Stoner.
2,053 people like it.
That's because it's
well-made. I would assume so.
I mean, he's got a tie-on and everything. He's in
high society here.
He shoots the color of his eyes.
I've still got a little jack chicken in me.
We are stoner.
We go to work every
day. We've thought about
life more than you can understand.
Weave values that you
overlook.
Weave. Weave values that you overlook. Weave.
Weave values.
One of those values is not
spelling or grammar.
We are the ones who hold your hair
while your poison ejects itself.
Just say hold your hair back while you puke.
Yeah, we are the ones who can
talk to the cop since you can't even
stand. So, the one who's high should do the talking to the cop?
Oh shit, it's the cops! Who's the most high in here?
Let me read you a poem, officer.
We are prosecuted by those who are jealous of our zeal.
We don't need help or your opinion
or that new fancy liver.
I think he's dissing people who drink.
I think so.
Yeah, he's straight-edged with an asterisk at the end.
We stoners are so much better than you people who drink alcohol.
Back of the other hand is an asterisk.
They're so high and mighty.
This is for you, Kumquat.
Sorry, go ahead.
We are understanding, compassionate, and forgiving.
If the laws changed tomorrow, we would not hold spite for all the years or harassment.
We are joyous, happy, and outgoing.
Not only do we love...
And lazy.
Not only do we love the greatness we have found in life,
but we feel compelled to share it with you as well.
Yeah, I don't want to hear your fish records.
I know you want me to hear your fish records.
I'm sitting on this couch.
Do you want to sit on this couch too?
I'll put it in my cart.
We are dependable,
chivalrous, and loyal.
Three things that come to mind
when I think stoner.
It's the stoner's
motto.
I can't believe Vince didn't show up for class
again. He's normally so dependable.
Wait, wait. Is he
in the stoner's guild or not?
Well, we don't smoke too much pot and accidentally screw our best friend's girlfriend.
That's getting really specific, Tempest.
We are accepting, trusting, and doubtless.
Ethnicity? Race? Social status?
Don't worry about all that. Sit down and have a toke with us.
This is a poem, by the way.
It is a poem.
Every line just keeps getting longer. We will
not give up.
W will not give up.
George Bush wants to
persecute us.
We will survive your trials.
We will endure your lies. And sooner
or later, we will win.
Win what?
I don't know who's...
Who are they winning? Against the people
who drink? I guess,
but it is a poem posted on High Ideas,
so what's the audience here?
The choir, and he's preaching to it.
Oh, okay.
We are all together, we all accept each other,
we are all one,
we are stoner.
Okay, we are all together.
We are blah blah blah.
We are stoner. What's the name of your poem again?
I am stoner.
Which, in retrospect,
bad choice.
Oh, boy.
I don't know if I can stomach the Dr. Seuss
poem. Oh, man. This has 2 know if I can stomach the Dr. Seuss poem.
Oh, man.
This has 2,053 upvotes, but what you're not seeing is the fact that it took him 36 hours to write this.
Yeah.
Hey, guys.
What's that?
Guys, my name is JJSKens13.
All right.
Yeah.
as Skens13.
Alright.
Yeah.
If I could,
I would vote for this idea eight
unquadrantillion
times.
I mean, if you could, if that was a number,
sure. It is. It is.
I googled for eight with 126 zeros
after it, which is what he wrote down.
Okay, good.
Kumquat works so hard behind the scenes
while we're reading.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the great and powerful Oz.
All right, so,
Hydea is, of course,
I mean, of course, we understand.
Hydea is a terrific,
it's a wonderful place.
It really is.
Yeah, it is, yeah.
It's really excellent,
but it's not without its drama.
Uh-oh.
So, Isfahan, your name's Marijuana101.
There's a waiting list for my class.
Yeah, I imagine.
What's the materials we need for your class?
Weed.
And a pair of functioning eyelids, man.
Okay.
So, what's up?
My name is Marijuana101.
This has negative five score.
So, here's the skinny, all right?
Okay, what's up?
Little bitch Tris to start shit on high D is 00BitchAssSavage.
What kind of little bitch thinks they're cool cause they think
they can make beats and do gay ass
dubstep shit. Again, 00
fucking faggot. What kind of
fucking douchebag needs to fuck off and quit
being a little bitch? Yep, ooh guessed it,
that same fucking faggot.
00 savage.
I could give a fuck less about all these
meaningless upvotes, downvotes, and dumbass
comments. I just wanted to state the truth about a little bitch.
Fuck her votes and opinions.
That poem about we are stoners.
Well, Frank West, you're going to be 00 Savage, but Cookie Monster needs to lead you in.
And Cookie Monster says, that's cool.
You really took the time to go and downvote everything of mine.
You mad, bro?
Don't worry.
Someday you'll be half the man your mother is.
And then 00savage, the person being called out in this post, says,
This kid took the time to send me a message, which was impossible to read.
He downvoted all my ideas and comments and even left some comments on my ideas.
Oh, no!
Now this, this kid
has a pearl in his pocket.
He's trying to destroy me.
What does that mean?
I don't know. Is that a thing?
It's like, you know,
sometimes
employers will use your
stack overflow score
as a metric for human resources.
Oh, yeah.
I have 1,000 upvotes on high ideas.
Welcome to Wendy's.
Oh, that really hurt coming from just another little bitch.
Keep talking shit pussies.
I could give a fuck less about what oo-pansy asses have to say.
Hey, Marijuana101, do you like the word bitch at all?
I do.
It's so versatile.
By the way, this reminds me. marijuana101, do you like the word bitch at all? I do. It's so versatile.
By the way, this reminds me, on the site, can we have a new tag that says, here's 500 words that mean
I don't care?
Because I realize that's a great one.
A lot in different episodes.
I think that's just like...
Alright, well let's keep going on with this fight.
Okay.
Where am I? You could give a fuck less
about what we have to say.
What?
You obviously got so butthurt about it that you had to create a high-dea about it and comment on all our shit.
So I think you do give a fuck if you ask me.
By the way, name-calling like that coming from a guy is a sign of low intelligence and immaturity.
What's the comic for girl?
Nope.
It's hot? Okay. Girls don't talk to me, so I can't really comment. sign of low intelligence and immaturity. What's the comic for girl? Is it... Nope.
It's hot?
Okay.
Girls don't talk to me, so I can't really comment.
No, I'm sure if you ask one, she'll say abusive shit to you.
I had a high idea about talking to a girl, but it didn't get me up close.
The only people I know who call names instead of coming up with something intelligent to say are girls on their periods,
which leads me to believe you're man-strating hard right now.
Okay, no, that's the end.
That's the last word.
You can't do that.
Man-strating.
That's officially the end of bro and man
being tacked onto words.
It's over.
Wow.
Keep going, Finish it up.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Nomitor, how much shit you talk.
You're possessive. Still a little
bitch, so ooh might as well just face it.
But I don't care.
Yeah, exactly.
I know you think I'm
a little bitch. I've come to
terms with that since you sent me an unintelligible message that sounded like a third grader who just learned some swear words.
Oh, swear word.
A third grader who just learned some swear words is the, that's the core demographic of this website.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you look at the site traffic on Google Analytics, that's who it thinks is coming.
But I know
you're unintelligent, unfunny, and you
obviously have no life. If the only
words you know are shit and little bitch.
Those are the words.
Shit and little bitch.
Shit and little bitch.
That's gotta be on Sirius
or something.
Hey shit, how's the traffic out there?
It's fine, little bitch.
Yeah, that's right.
Shit.
Now here's a rocket, a hurricane.
Lucky you have the internet to hide behind, dude.
Peace.
Peace.
internet to hide behind, dude.
Peace.
Peace.
Alright.
One more from the drama center of ideas.
Kumquats up.
Yes, yes.
Your
name is
Sarah's Hot times three.
Is Sarah shot? I don't think so. I think it's Your name is Sarah's Hot times three. It's Sarah Shot.
I don't think so.
I think it's Sarah's Hot to the third.
No, I was interpreting it as Sarah Shot X3, like the video game.
Oh, okay.
Could be either.
I'm sure it's...
No, it's Sarah Show from...
Sarah Shot.
It's Sarah Show from the third Texas.
Right.
Yeah. Honestly,
my name's Sarah
Shotix3. I'm
not trying to be rude or anything
and sorry for how long
this is, but I have
posted like seven
different posts trying to get
stoners from this website
to help legalize weed in my state.
What's happened? Why are you so mad?
Senators are regularly browsing ideas.
Listen, I'm not looking for insider Washington ideas.
I need real ideas from real people.
The real ideas begin and end at legalize it.
Right.
Mitch McConnell had such different opinions before he found ideas, but now...
Well, that's about a thing.
Yeah.
And barely anyone has helped.
Sure.
Probably about eight people in total, if that.
But yet y'all want to sit here and talk about how if marijuana was legalized.
Yep.
Yep.
For some reason, I was surprised at how unmotivated Stoners were.
Yeah, imagine that.
I went to a normal rally.
Everyone was just sitting in the grass smoking weed.
What the fuck?
I have petitioned.
Sure.
Trying to help my state get it legalized.
And no one's going to help me.
You don't.
Mr. Governor.
Mr. Governor.
It's a petition for legalizing marijuana!
What?
This is the first time this has happened.
Legalizing the reefer?
Well, I was gonna sign this,
but there are no people from Hydea
that signed this petition.
You don't even have to live here,
and you can sign it.
It's online.
It's easy.
Fuck it.
All it does is send ooh an email, and it lets ooh sign.
All I was asking for is if yow could take a minute and a half out of your day to go and sign that for me.
Maybe repost on er social network and share it.
People one time to get it legalized.
Okay.
In total,
I found out that this petition was going on for a month.
No,
eight to December 8th,
2012.
We needed 25,000 votes in all.
We currently have 9,394 and need 15,606.
It's a government website.
Hey, stoners, you all trust the government, right?
She's getting madder and madder.
It says.gov.
You can't fake that.
You can't spam that.
It's a legit petition.
Who knows if Yowl Yao check out the website. Yao
could find petitions about legalizing
in your own state. This website is
really actually interesting. If any of you
will ever read this and give it a chance, you would
like it.
It lets you see who signed where they are from
and also lets you track number of signers
and how many signers we have. I have this
website if anyone even reads this.
Lol.
Lol.
She really misjudged how to pique Stoner's interest.
It's like, no, no, you can see who signed it and everything, where you're from.
You can see all their names and addresses.
Dear Narcs, kick down these doors.
Love, Sarah's Hots.
Next three.
Hi, DEAs indeed. This is like the one person on Hi, Diaz who's Hots. X3. High DEAs indeed.
This is like the one person on High DEAs
who's also doing Adderall.
It's quite
a cocktail.
We're going to move away from the angry stoners
and into the stoner elite.
The
true thinkers of High DEAs.
So my name is Young Mank,
and I just realized why stoners have bad memory.
Okay, long story short here.
The reason stoners don't have good memory
is because our emotions are calm and neutral.
Emotions control hormones.
Hormones supplement memory.
What?
Yeah, I mean, that's as true as my previous sentence.
Yeah.
Good point.
And give you our mind something to link the memory to.
Weak emotions create weak memory.
the memory too.
Weak emotions create weak memory.
Therefore,
therefore, if you are always calm, you won't have
much memory.
There's so much bullshit here.
Yup.
Yeah, the guy I knew from high school who went to
a theater thing high and the whole time
was like, hey, can he tell? Can he see? Can he tell?
Yeah, he was really calm.
Yeah, yeah.
You can have
a good memory, but
you have to truly try to retain
information and work for the memory.
Effortful processing
in psychology terms.
Yeah. Yeah, you're in college.
So, kids,
weed is not frying
your brains, winky face.
Frying mine.
You're just at peace with your emotions.
And that makes it good?
Having bad memory is now a good thing to do?
Yeah.
I just love these things that people write,
and the point of comedy,
when you reach that point where the logic diverges,
and he goes in the obviously
wrong place, it's just so funny.
You mean when the website exists?
Yeah.
Alright, Isvan, I need you
to scare me straight.
Alright, so you're High Punk. Scare me straight, please.
Alright, my name is High Punk.
I'm gonna scare you straight.
Okay, good.
Cigarettes! Fuck them! Well, no, I'd rather smoke them, Scare me straight, please. Alright, my name is High Punk. I'm gonna scare you straight. Okay, good. Buy cigarettes.
Fuck them.
Oh.
Well, no, I'd rather smoke them, but, uh... There you go, you're good.
I think I know why this guy doesn't like the cigarettes.
Like, they don't even get you high.
You're just spending your hard-earned cash on gross little death sticks.
No offense to sick smokers on this side,
but I mean, you could just save up that money you're always using for a pack a day to get more weed.
It's almost like cigarettes
satisfy a completely different
impulse than... Why food?
There are two things in the world.
I'm on a drug website
and I don't understand addictive behavior.
I use, too, smoke
almost two packs a day.
But let me tell you, quitting is the best thing I've ever done. It's definitely
hard, but worth it. Upvote if you agree
that weed is a billion times better than
any brand of cigarette.
Uh, my
name's Shaitan
1337.
Alright. So check this shit out.
I'm going on day five of no smoking.
And for some reason I've been craving a cigarette all damn day.
It's the darndest thing.
That's weird.
So I get on my computer and stumble a couple times.
Huh?
The first time, it was a picture of Obama smoking a cigarette.
Okay.
The second time, it was a font style that was made out of cigarette butts.
What are you...
Okay, what are you doing on your computer?
Okay.
Then, I get on ideas and randomize the popular section,
and this one is the first one on the page!
WTF!
My name's Wiz Khalifa, 420.
No former cigarette smoker would say that quitting was the best thing they ever did,
especially if they're trying to overcome two packs a day and smoke marijuana already.
I used to smoke a pack a day mixed with so much grass, so I went on the patch.
I wonder what kind of patch that was.
Before long, I relapsed because every time I got drunk, I fiended like a bogue.
Like, I just needed something to
smoke. If there was no bud, I would just
cop a pack. You never stop
loving bogues. They always
get some job done.
Yep, cigarettes are the problem in my life.
Yep.
Okay.
Here we go.
John Toast,
you are Cthulhu,
so enjoy that role.
What's your question for us?
What's your idea that got 1,970 people liking it?
So, I guess I'm to say I'm Cthulhu, so blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Tentacles everywhere.
Where are all the intelligent stoners at?
You know.
Where are the intelligent stoners at?
Holla back if
you're...
Upvote if you're intelligent slash have a high IQ
and love the sticky icky icky.
I know that I'm not the only one. I know that I'm not the only one. I know that I'm not the only one.
I know that I'm not the only one.
I know that I'm not the only one, too.
The very first comment.
Yeah, what's your first comment?
Oh, uh, I didn't say if you're a dumb fuck to vote this down.
Fuck you.
My!
Shit, if all the dumb stoners vote this down,
we'll have a negative score.
It's behind you.
Sergeant Johnson 49.
I'm going to use that voice again.
Hello, I'm Sergeant Johnson 49.
Good.
Great.
Yeah, me and my bro and my best friend
are all like 140 plus IQs,
and it's crazy what we think about.
Like the keys to the universe and time travel.
Wait, what kind of shit is that? The keys to the universe in time travel. Wait, what kind of shit is that?
The keys to the universe in time travel?
Einstein shit.
Then we forget all about it.
Ha ha ha.
My name is Stone Z.
Mealways.
We're all intelligent.
We're all
intelligent.
That's so poetic, you know?
That's really good.
Hey, I'm Invincible Z1!
Be good, or be good at it.
My IQ was 1,000 plus 1.
Figured that out of you.
You're so smart.
Damn.
You broke him.
Frank West, you're Mark Wolf.
Oh, I was about to read that anyway.
Oh, good.
Great.
Yeah, yeah.
I have a 138 IQ and am in Mensa.
Oh, well then.
But I don't say that a lot.
Bragging ain't cool zero zero.
And weed is my best friend.
I believe you.
I don't doubt that part.
Yeah.
I actually feel like I understand math, science better after weed,
and my focus has increased like
shiiiiiiiiit
people need to start being
productive stoners and not just
stoners
if only we could figure out
people need to start being fat ballet dancers
if only we could figure out People need to start being fat ballet dancers.
If only we could figure out what's stopping all these stoners
from being productive.
You know how we could win at the bobsled
if we just put a bunch of baby dolls in there
instead of human beings.
Alright, come Quazap.
Take Orange Kush on the next page
Hello, my name is Orange Kush
My IQ is 129, which is
Which is?
Which is?
What is it?
Which is
Exceptional
Yeah, I'll accept that
Yeah, That's acceptable.
I smoke weed like seven times a day.
And mmm in the top 5% and over 124.
So mmm probably in the top like 3% of the entire world.
Where anyone with a 124 plus should feel great about themselves.
Top 3% of the entire world for what?
IQ or smoking weed?
500 jollies.
High school GPA of 3.8.
I keep it real, nigga.
Hey, I'm
Dro-Drew. Petroleum
engineer major.
Bong smiley.
Off the Media says, I have an IQ of 163, but everyone looks down on me smoking pot because it'll make me a lazy, worthless stoner.
Number one, no it won't.
Number two, no it won't.
Number three, no it fucking won't.
I can't wait until weed is legalized and I prove them all wrong.
Fuck the haters and the people who still refuse to form their own opinions
because they promised Dare they would never smoke or drink when they were nine.
It's pretty early for a dare program.
I don't remember Dare making me promise I would never drink.
Like ever. Like not ever. promise I would never drink. Yeah.
Like ever.
Like not ever.
I like the one comment by Campfires that just says,
151, baby,
and then a smiley face.
I like the picture that
that person didn't know
what this throw was about
and just finally caught
all the Pokemon
from the first Pokemon game.
Oh, I thought they were drinking rum.
It'd take a pretty smart
stoner to do that.
Yeah, there's a lot of geniuses on this site.
I'm actually kind of impressive.
I'm going to look at that.
But first...
Okay, my name's
fucking Lulwhat.
Fucking underscore Lulwhat.
Fucking noobs.
Okay, I hate smoking noobs. Okay.
I hate smoking noobs dot JS.
That's my JavaScript.
Oh.
That's my JavaScript plug-in.
Yeah, JavaScript plug-in.
Fuck that framework.
Misspelled node.
I'm fucking sick of knockout.
I hate weed noobs dot JS.
I was smoking out this bitch that smokes, like, twice a year.
Offense number one, she calls herself a stoner.
Yeah, right.
What does smoking out mean?
Smoking someone out means that they're getting high on your weed.
Oh, okay.
Like, you are facilitating their stonerness.
Okay, so that's offense number one.
Offense number two, I was taking my hit, and she said, puff, puff, give.
We were using a pipe.
What?
So you don't puff a pipe?
Huh.
Okay, offense number three.
She took a half hit and literally coughed for 30 men.
Hate that.
Okay, offense number four.
After she took.5 hits, she freaked the fuck out, claiming she was tripping balls, and made us run to the Taco Bell to meet a friend there.
I think she just suddenly had a realization.
Who she was with.
Oh, fuck, I need to get to the Taco Bell.
I have this Chipotle. I have this Chipotle.
I have this Chipotle.
Chipotle's getting cold.
Wait, I only have a non-super quesarito.
Now, to be fair, he may actually be partially right in that she's just like going down the mental checklist of what stoners do.
So she's like, oh, okay, the next thing is munchies, right?
So we go to Taco Bell. So offense number five, she claimed to be still high the next afternoon.
Bullshit.
So I'm not the only one that hates people like this.
Am I right?
I can't believe there are weed snobs.
I can.
Frank West, use trolling.
Use trolling.
Use trolling.
Yos.
Yos.
Use trolling.
Yos trolling. Yos. Use trolling. Yos trolling.
I think the word noob should be reserved for people who are new and suck and are dumb bitches.
Okay.
Dumb bitch being the core requirement.
Petition.
I used to call people noobs back in the day when I was like 13 and Halo 2 was the game to play.
So long ago.
I can barely remember those
silent days.
Now things are a bit mature.
They're a bit mature.
Adult situations now.
I tell them they suck a fat dick
and that they need to hang themselves.
Oh, look how far he's come.
Much more mature.
He's moved up from Xbox Live
to Xbox Life.
Hey, my name's Sheldon Freeman.
Oh, hey, Sheldon.
I hate the wannabes.
It's like when they say they can kick my ass
at Super Smash Brothers.
It is like that.
Why are you laughing?
I was just thinking of something funny.
If they were actually good, they would have said,
Oh, I could play Smash. I use blank character.
So they would already identify themselves as noobs.
It's really annoying
when something gets quiet and weird.
Especially when you're chilling
one-on-one with someone.
Like, I talk, and they just stop
talking and looking at me. I don't get it.
What's the deal?
I guess these people really are, like, grasping at
straws for something to be superior to
someone else in, but...
It's like, weed? Really?
I thought weed was all about being inclusive.
Anything that you're going to practice at, you know?
You start to develop arrogance on the thing that you're practicing at.
Come quest up, will you tell me about your downfall?
My name is Irish...
Let me tell you about my downfall.
What's your downfall?
Gave credit card to girlfriend.
Frowny face man chickens know how to get what they want.
So you gave your credit card to your girlfriend,
and then when she had it, you looked down at your hand,
and you're like, sorceress!
Who found this lost ODB rough draft?
Oh, this is Davey Elliott.
Give credit card to your girlfriend.
Big baby Jesus credit card.
All right, while we're at it,
Frank West, is it true that you believe
that the Harry Potter world is real?
I believe that the Harry Potter world
is truly real.
Okay, tell me more.
I'm Cheeky Kiwi, and I am convinced...
We are the Cheeky Kiwi.
I am convinced that the world of Harry Potter
is actually in existence.
I believe you.
We just don't actually find out that we are a witch or wizard until we are, like, 25, instead of 11, like in the books, movies.
And then we go to school, a boarding school, like 25-year-olds do.
We get our powers and learn that we can do magic later in life.
The Harry Potter series just throws us off by, like, 13 years.
Can't wait to get my powers.
Let me guess, you're 24.
Let me guess, you're 13.
I really love, I love all the time when somebody will post a thread and then the forum makes fun of them.
It's always great seeing where that line is.
Yeah.
Including Disassemble, who says, you need goat blood for real magic.
Hail Satan.
Oh my God, can we get a religious turf war on Hydeus?
That would be great.
All right.
on Hydeus.
That would be great.
Alright, we are going to move into the last
section.
But right before we get into that
last section,
John Toast,
tell me something about
flames.
Well, my name's Brandam.
Brandam.
And I can tell you about flames.
Okay, good.
Isn't it wire to think that lighters were invented before matches?
Sure is!
It is weird to think that.
Isn't it weird to think things that are wrong?
Lighters were invented before matches.
My name's Condor!
Jesus, y'all are high!
That statement's not going to make it into the wrongest words.
Alright.
Last section that Montreth has for us
here is called A Stoner's Paradise.
Why are we so blind to see marijuana, etc.
Frank West, you're freeballing.
I sure am.
Tell me about A Mile Long, Mile Wide.
A Mile Long, Mile Wide by Freeballing.
And I'm free!
Yeah, that was good.
February 18th, 2013.
Hear me out. I've had some
philosophical and intellectual
high talks with my friends
after a couple of bowls.
Why is that the word that's in quotes?
Just in case any cops are reading.
You were actually high!
There's a double...
There's no double meaning.
These talks revolve around high ideas, normally after smoking sativa, or just food, after smoking indica.
After just smoking food?
After just smoking food.
Yeah.
One of these times, my friend had an amazing idea.
He wants to construct his own country.
It may sound, you know, sure, easy. Easily done,
especially while high. I'm going to hear you out
because you asked me to.
I did. I made that clear at the top.
It may sound far-fetched, but if you think
about it, it's possible.
Give me time to think
about it.
I'll need more time, I bet.
Okay. His idea consists of
forming a country from a mile byby-a-mile floating structure.
It would have slightly less than 1,000 people for the population,
and the population would be full of perfect humans.
Oh, dear.
Oh.
These humans all have a different set of genes that all have different strengths.
Man, this is such a good idea.
I wonder why nobody's done anything along these lines.
different strengths.
Man, this is such a good idea.
I wonder why nobody's done anything along these lines.
It's like a nation, but it's like a mini-nation.
No, even smaller than that.
Is there another word for that?
No, man, no, there isn't.
I mean, look, we just got to come up for the right solution for this problem, and then,
you know, it'll happen. It'll be done.
Yeah, like a final solution.
Yeah.
Hitler comes on and is like,
no, man, my idea was the worst.
I'm sorry, everybody.
It's all in how you spin it, really.
He was actually trying to smoke out of a bong
that looked like a gun,
and he just picked up the wrong thing.
Oh, shit, what was I thinking?
That was my Hitler voice.
That's a great German accent.
I can't believe that was my Hitler voice. That's a great German accent.
I guess Adolf Hitler kind of sounds like Sergeant Schultz.
Hey, people from England, don't feel bad.
We can't do any accents, apparently.
Lemon, why didn't you go to the Hans von Hussle?
Oh, fuck!
Oh yeah, sure, I'm from Domini.
There would be a group of people that are extremely musical,
some that are just gifted in art,
some that have science-oriented minds,
and some that are philosophical for religion.
During the day, there would be a specific time
devoted to practicing your skill set and developing a part of it.
For example, musicians would be given
whatever technology they need to write music
or think of musical theories.
Planet of the yuppies.
So it's a society.
Yes.
It's a society
but with less people and
genes. I call it
art school!
Transportation
would evolve
around self-driven machines such as a bicycle
or even skates.
Even skates, you're a madman.
These transportation methods would provide
the daily dose of exercise and
cure the problem of obesity.
You have so much problem with
quotation marks.
Why are those there? Resources can
be gathered by near islands
and even traded at major ports
since the enemy can travel.
So you're pirates.
I would play this RTS.
Yes.
Cool as shit, right?
I call it
Hygenics.
Hey, there you go.
An hour a day where all
I get to do if music
sounds like heaven.
Come to my highland.
Ooh.
Alright.
Before we get to the last thing,
Isfahan, would you like to do a hot dog,
I'm sorry, ice hot dog cream
for stoner criminals?
I'll see.
I'll do stoner criminals.
Stoner criminals.
All right.
Because I don't think I have a Paula Deen voice.
And since we're not going to talk about it, I'm pretty sure ice hot dog cream is like
a Manchurian candidate code word to turn on.
Yep.
Except instead of killing someone, you just like go out for a hot dog. is like a Manchurian candidate code word to turn on. Yep. Except instead of killing someone, you just go out for a hot dog.
And regret it.
Exactly.
All right.
My name is ABRN Cafe, or Abern Cafe.
The Auburn Cafe, perhaps?
Yeah.
Stoner criminals, negative 87.
Most gangs and shit in life slash movies are thieves, rapists, killers, cokeheads, bikers, etc.
Stoners should just drop their peaceful philosophies and band together.
What?
Steal shitloads of weed, high 24-7, steal food, girls, raid movies, Best Buy.
So this is another dude who's just advocating a group of pirates.
Everything stoners always want, just violently take it stoned.
It's like listening to metal when you're high.
You'd think it'd be angry and shitty, but it's badass.
If a bunch of stoners tried to do something, we'd be invincible.
Sounds like you actually
just want PCP.
Hi, I'm Aaron420.
Aaron420!
Yeah, quit giving stoners
a bad name. You're
giving the anti-pot
people the ass
ociation that
legalizing weed would bring crime.
Go smoke some crack and rob a gas tattion, dick.
Kumquat, we're not going to read the thing you just found right now.
Sorry, Frank West, we're not going to read the thing you just found right now,
but if you'll just read the title of it please you know the stone criminals thing if you
boil it down he's pretty much saying hey you know we should do crimes when we get high
like nobody's ever thought of that before
let's go get sushi and not pay
renegades anyway frank west what's the what's the title of the thing you just found?
My dog is disappointed in me.
No.
Oh, sorry.
My dog is disappointed by me.
Disappointed just around you.
Yeah.
Disappointed adjacent.
Okay.
So last thing we got here is by GanjaMaster48.
He's the final level of the weed fighting game.
The other 47 levels.
Okay, GanjaMaster48.
Possibly my greatest idea ever, double period.
Possibly my greatest idea ever, double period.
Since I know 99.9% of stoners never have that much money on them,
but are always willing to throw down,
what if all the stoners in the world all threw down and bought a country.
This idea has a lot more upvotes than the other one.
I got like 23... 25, 26...
I got 2350!
Oh wait, this part is earmarked for weed.
Okay, then
we could all just live there and ching out all day.
That's offensive.
Ching Chong, weed could be the currency.
You mean like Chingy?
Yeah, we could all just listen to that Chingy song.
That one song came out almost 20 years ago.
Yeah, I was going to say, we could listen to it right there.
I love the way you moved that right there.
Yeah, I was just saying, we can listen to it right there.
Okay, so we could be the currency,
and the only jobs that would ever be needed are... Oh, boy, here we go.
The only jobs ever needed are glass blowers,
food service industries,
and maybe some stand-up comedians.
Yep, sure. Lowers, food service industries, and maybe some stand-up comedians. Yep.
Sure.
That pretty much covers the three triangles of modern society right there.
Bongs, food, and comedy.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
That's all you need to live.
It's an entire country of Doug Benson.
Yeah.
That's good.
Getting Doug with Island.
Okay, just personal preference,
but I say we buy Australia.
Yeah, why not shoot for the stars here?
And then, what's up?
You're hating the owl?
When I say island,
I mean continent.
It's still an island!
Yeah,
I come from the land
down under.
What am I reading?
That's like so much
of a walk to get there,
too.
Because it took me
a minute to be like,
oh, right, okay.
Hey, hey, hey, Kumquat, that joke, it's a mistake took me a minute to be like, oh, right, okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, come quad.
That joke, it's a mistake.
We're going to move you from the
stand-up comedian
sector to the food service sector.
You've been demoted.
What the fuck am I reading?
You were reading Hayden the Owl.
Uh, my, my, my, my name's Hayden the Owl. Uh, my...
My name's Hayden the Owl.
Mm-hmm.
Dude!
That's like the idea I had about making an underground weed colony.
Like an underground stoner lounge
where weed is fully accepted
and everyone would be smoking
and eating
and music
would be playing
and there would be stores
to buy different types of weed
or bongs, pipes, blunts, SS, etc.
Secret service.
Let's go to the head shop district, dude.
It would be like top secret for membered stoners only.
Could you imagine that shopping mall?
It's just all head shops.
Yeah.
That would be kind of a saturated market, you think.
John, you're the Pope from TV.
I am.
You're the Pope from TV.
I am, but what am I reading?
Yeah, you're the Pope from TV and you're Ratzinger, surprisingly enough.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you wouldn't think.
All right.
Hello, I am the Pope from TV.
Why don't you throw down on a mansion in the U.S. with like 50 stoners
and get a sweet pad and a growing room?
If you don't sell it, you won't get caught.
Smiley face. Ladies you don't sell it, you won't get caught. Smiley face.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
I didn't sell any of the weed. I just grew it.
Don't touch that dial.
And Frank West,
yes, says Jason.
Yes, says
Jason, says I'm in.
E should start a fucking website.
And we'll take pledges and save up over the years and buy a country.
I got something to tell you, Jason.
There's a lot of fucking websites out there.
Hey, Gondra.
It's a website that wants you to just give money for no good reason.
Oh.
Because we. Yeah. There's a lot that wants you to just give money for no good reason. Oh. Because we...
There's a lot of those, too.
It's called Kickstarter.
Hey, Ganja Master 48.
Is that our...
Oh, yeah, Ganja Master 48.
Yeah, yeah, you had some other shit to say.
Oh, did I?
Yeah.
Shit, okay.
You did.
Oh, fuck, I forgot about that.
Oh, no, now it comes over to me.
Okay, yeah, so I made a typo in my post. I'm sorry about that. Uh, oh no, now it comes over to me. Okay, yeah, so, uh, I made a
typo, uh, in my post. I'm
sorry about that. Ha ha, yeah, I
met Chong. Out,
not Ching out. Ha ha.
Yeah, Chong out.
Yeah. Still offensive. Fucking
F plus, you were stupid.
Uh, but yeah, dude,
anyone who knows shit about computers
should definitely set up a website. And, yeah, dude, anyone who knows shit about computers should definitely set up a website.
And yeah, dude, Australia might not be so cool.
New Zealand would be badass for sure.
Damn, I just said all of that in one sentence.
I'm high as fuck!
The reason you didn't use punctuation, that means you accomplished something.
Please regale us with a level of high you are.
I'm high as fuck!
Oh, thank you.
I will log this.
Is that above high as shit, or...?
Uh, it's fine, you are that high guy, just above me.
Yeah, that high guy.
Fuck no, Australia has thousands of deadly species and shit out there.
I don't need a fucking chupacabra killing my buzzer just killing me at all.
It's a Tim Minchin song.
That's because Australia has chupacabra.
Fuck the motherfucking...
And then, John Toast, legalize weed.
Is this completely possible?
By the way, before I run out of my reading, I like that Andrews just says, I got five on it.
Yeah.
That's an honestly like...
Country, I got five on it.
That's an honestly funny post.
But anyways, okay.
Hi, I'm legalized weed and I look like a fucking douchebag.
Yeah, you do.
It looks like you're smoking a cigar.
I'm smoking that cigar like it's a fucking dick. And tell us how you really feel, you do. It looks like you're smoking a cigar. Smoking that cigar like it's a fucking dick.
And tell us how you really feel, Toast.
Not that that's necessarily wrong, but it is when I do it.
Anyways.
Legalized Weed says this is completely possible.
There are legit stoners in every profession.
Doctors, lawyers, farmers, everything.
And the best thing is, whenever
there are any types of issues,
everyone would just blaze and solve
that shit.
They need to get stuff done. It's time
to blaze up.
The consulate and Congress are getting
fucking toked up.
My name's Legalized Weed, and I hope I
fall on a curb in the most breakable part of my
face.
Wow. This guy brought out a lot of anger.
Just look at him.
Just look at him.
Smalls23 says
you must make
book this into a Facebook
group. They will
come. Make book in a
Facebook group. Purple Monkey Ashwater.
My name is
dash dash Savannah dash dash.
Okay, good.
Let's go to
Juggalo Island!
Oh no, no!
Let's go to Juggalo Island!
Let's go to Juggalo Island!
Let's go to Juggalo
Island and hope we don't get stabbed
oh no we've just been stabbed
oh no we've just been stabbed
and they just took our weed
shouldn't have gone to Juggalo Island
we just made an entire narrative arc
John
the end
so so many more pages of comments on this one The end. So,
so many more pages of comments on this one.
So, F+,
what did we learn from highdeas.com?
Distressingly little.
I like how
the internet has given us
transcripts of
every conversation people have
when they're high.
Just nice.
Because these are not new things people say when they're high. Just nice. Because these are not new things people say when they're high.
But it is nicely written down for us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, like, it's confusing because, like, you know,
usually you would get high and share your dumb high idea
with your dumb high friends that are also high.
So it's weird to me because this is sort of an interesting subsect
of high people that would be
high alone and on the internet
and want to type into a forum.
And also people that wouldn't, you know, like,
I mean, that wouldn't be like
the stoned guy on any sort of other
idea forum. I guess maybe they get chased out.
And then they gotta
start their little splinter groups.
But it's the kind of thing that before the internet,
this is the kind of thing you'd write down
on a piece of paper
when you're high or whatever, and then you wake up
and you look at that, and it's like,
that was fucking stupid, and then you throw it away.
Stoner Island, question mark?
But now, somebody with an internet connection around
the world could just pick that up and see the stupid
shit you wrote. It's just a whole site devoted
to that kind of thing.
We see that so often.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, like, I think that it's fair to be the person that gets high a lot, and that's,
you know, that's fine.
But in the same way that video games are okay, but somebody that calls themselves a gamer is a bad person.
Somebody who smokes pot is okay.
Somebody who calls themselves a stoner is a bad person.
Like, from that same rationale of just kind of this weird groupthink where you have to listen to the same shitty music and subscribe to the same shitty worldview.
It's like, well, I labeled myself a stoner, so I guess that means I buy into everything that stoners
are expected to do.
But also, like, combined
with the format of this website,
you know, the format of this website
with the, like, upvotes and downvotes
and the capricious nature
of, you know, oh,
ice hot dog cream is really
not popular because that doesn't sound
good when I'm high.
What does that mean?
Like, if you've, like, objectively, like, if you've got your idea and then your idea is super popular on Hydeas, I mean, what does that mean for you?
That means you take it to the next stage and you post it to
Yahoo Answers.
What are all the people and ideas like?
What are you people's problem?
Huge thanks to Montreth
for providing this document
for us. I also forgot to mention at the show, so I wanted to thank Montreth for providing this document for us.
I also forgot to mention at the show, so I wanted to thank Montreth for helping us with selection of books.
She did a great job of pre-selecting a few books, and she did not select Frank West's book. So thanks, Montreth.
So thanks for picking some of these books and for not picking Frank West's book.
That was kind of him and I fault. So thanks for picking some of these books and for not picking Frank West's book.
That was kind of him and I fault.
And yeah, thanks a lot for listening.
Go to Ball Pit, pay the $10, and that'll make me happy because I like $10.
Bye-bye. Dude, what if I pay the $10 when I'm high?
You ever joined a forum on Weed Pit?
Because I got high.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow!
Thank you, Afro Man.
That just showed up now.
That's amazing.
Fuck!
That's all right.
It'll be the intro music.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the intro music. post.
And we'll have a specialty pizza called the Joint Pizza
that's cooked rolled up instead of flat,
so it'll be fucking disgusting.
And at the end of the description of every item on the menu,
it will say, to put it bluntly,
this one is baked to perfection.
My name's Chucky Norris.
Wow.