The F Plus - 167: Hentaint Misbehavin
Episode Date: February 22, 2015Luscious.net is a (hentai focused) pornographic website where members can do the things they usually do on a pornographic website - by which I mean set up a profile, argue about politics, and co...mplain about problems getting laid. This week, The F Plus figures out that gender just isn't a big deal really.
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Yeah, that picture of the two girls in bed with a giant dick.
I saw that and I just grinned.
Yeah, there's no part of it that's gross to me.
On the other hand, there's no part of it that's hot, so...
With my naked eye, I saw the falling rain coming down on me.
With my naked eye, I saw, if I said it all, I can see it.
Welcome to the F Plus Podcast, a very unerotic place, and there's terrible things right with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Rang Gear.
Do you prefer a clock that has hands or one that uses numbers? I can do both.
Jack Chick.
Yes, you'll be fucked.
Shit out of luck. Now that you're locked all our cocks, you will suck.
Frank West.
Anyway, how's your sex life?
Or why I had to go to a shrink?
Ace of your Aquanel.
I just spend all my time gaming, sleeping, and copious amounts of hentai.
In other words, the generic things most people do.
And Lemon.
The hentai code prevents me from declining your suck-off challenge.
Google search hentai code.
Sorry, bonded by blood.
What can I tell you?
God, that album is so sweet. All right, it feels all right.
It feels all right.
Hey, F+.
Hey, Lemon.
Have you been on the internet lately?
No.
No, I have not.
Okay.
You should give it another shot.
It's pretty cool.
There's a whole bunch of websites, as we call them.
And they have, well, I mean, there's a lot of different kinds of websites.
But there's some websites that have pornographic materials on them.
Oh, my goodness.
I don't know.
Tell me more.
Would my church group approve?
No.
No, they wouldn't. Would my church group approve? No. No, they wouldn't.
Would my church group approve?
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's a fucking filthy church, by the way.
Disgusting.
So we got turned on by Fanzay.
Turned on is the wrong word.
We got introduced by Fanzay to a site called Luscious.net.
Luscious.net is a porno site with a mission statement.
So that's unique.
We are a community of fans, artists, and collectors of hentai and erotica.
It's not much of a mission statement, but the fact is that they have a mission statement.
So, you know, that's something.
So it's kind of a unique sort of site. I mean,
obviously, you know, sort of like skewing very much in the in the Hentai direction.
But it is a website, you know, it's it's it's the modern age. And that means that all websites
need to be social. And luscious.net definitely is. And that's why luscious.net has a blog.
And Luscious.net definitely is.
And that's why Luscious.net has a blog.
So we're going to just be reading a little bit of the blog here, starting with Dookie.
I believe that's Jack Chick.
And Dookie, do you have a problem these days?
I do.
You want to share with us Luscious members?
Yeah.
Well, I called Dr. Phil.
He wasn't able to help me. but apparently ugly girls want to fuck me?
Just who are all these
ugly girls that want to fuck me?
I click through pics on here
and I see ad after ad of ugly
girls who want to fuck me. I wonder,
do so many girls sign up for
a website that calls them ugly?
I get that it's a rip-off
just trying to sucker me, but do you really
think this will work?
Um.
I mean, yes.
Yeah, that's how porno advertising works.
My name's Homeboy87.
Homeboy.
Yo.
Homeboy.
I don't even acknowledge that shit.
I've had some occasions where an ugly girl sucked my dick.
I've had some occasions where an ugly girl sucked my dick, but online from an ad on a porn site, which is the target audience, sounds ludicrous.
I must be having my cock sucked now because.
Hey, hey, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Is anybody here horny?
Is anybody here horny?
Yeah, fuck yeah.
Lush did it to me.
You know, when you so horny,
you join a BDSM group.
I was just surfing the net for porn,
and somehow I joined this BDSM group,
and I didn't even know what that was.
I still kind of didn't know what it was at all,
but it seems like I can't keep him down.
Oh.
Man.
You pronounced that too well.
His boner just fell at the end.
I'm down
do you want to write about your experiences
in this group
there's another
blog post by the same guy
kitty witty is a blog post of him
looking for people to play the game worms
against
it's not the same game you think it is.
So, this is my article.
My name is the third person.
And this blog post,
I have many others,
including a blog called
This Happened Today.
Pretty good.
I was favored by Dirty Old Man and Wolf in 749.
But anyway, this is my blog post called
porn writing and writing porn yeah yeah okay so as an intellectual oh yeah yeah so as an
intellectual it frustrates me how little effort some creators of erotic material put into their writing.
I meant in the past, the amount of typos I've seen in inked words is ridiculous.
Right.
Yeah.
I use e-ink.
Oh, okay.
It's more than just errors, though. The scripts and plots are usually terrible and or cliche.
Scripts and plots are usually terrible and or cliche.
I'm always really astounded when I come across things with actual thought put into it.
The thing is that it makes it for a much better fap, too.
Oh, yeah.
Look, I'd write poured myself to reach the standards of quality I desire for my erotic material, but I can't.
I haven't ever had sex, and you can't write porn as a virgin.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Nope.
No virgins ever write porn. Well, why does he write porn about masturbating to porn?
Well, why does he write porn about masturbating to porn?
Boots. Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots.
Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. mother. I was wearing sunglasses, black jeans, and a brony shirt.
Like the natural philosophers
of old. I'm an intellectual.
Boots,
you're a Kuja Tenshi?
I am.
I wrote an
erotic slash pornographic
short Roman, around 140 pages.
It has seven
chapters with a sex scene in each.
It has different genres of
story besides sex, most likely romance
and drama.
But also a little comedy, most likely.
I haven't gone back and read it.
It's hard
to bring literature like this to the people.
Sorry, to people.
Because porn is considered as dirty and kinky,
and only a few people see the real art behind it.
That's true.
Some people think about porn as though it's, like, pornographic.
Yep.
Do it often is no real art, poorly.
Yeah, do it often is no real art, poorly.
Yet do it often is no real art, poorly.
And then, ACR, you're a hater?
H-4-5-ter?
I'm H-45-ter.
That's like... Wait, that's Haster.
Oh, yeah.
Sadly, you are totally right.
Most of the erotic fiction slash hentai manga
has simply and only the goal that the reader can jerk off to it.
That's sad!
That's so sad!
End of story.
And to achieve that, the writer puts all his effort into making a short, fast-going, exponentially climbing story.
I hesitate calling even those stories.
In fact, with mostly exaggerated presentations of
the romantic again i don't even want to call it so interactions i would certainly love to see
more romantic not necessarily written in tearjerker style and slowly going plots that
are for once not self-making linear real plots that really melt your heart slash touch you slash
make you insanely hor you slash make you insanely
horny slash make you really laugh slash whatever i want my stories to whatever you'll laugh you'll
cry you'll come in your own mouth because sadly this stuff is currently very rare but that is of
course just my opinion we may discuss this later in detail.
Yeah, I mean, really, the problem with a lot of erotic
fiction is that they don't have, you know,
a detailed description of cleaning the
house or, you know, doing chores like laundry
and shit like that. I mean, that's all well
and good for you, but I need the background.
I can't just have a story
where the pizza man comes in with his dick in a box
and there's fucking. I need to have all the where I call him and detail what I want in the pizza and all the lead up.
Did you ask for the dick on the pizza or is it a surprise?
Exactly.
Yes.
Do you think that somewhere there's a frustrated writer that works for big sausage pizza gets annoyed at how derivatives to plots are?
Absolutely.
So, but yeah, so being a virgin is very difficult for me.
Frank West, does just some girl have any advice for me?
Pretend you have.
Become a porn director slash writer, and then just write yourself into the scene.
Break the fourth wall and lose your virginity to a porn star.
Yay! Woo!
Actually,
I've thought about this.
I kind of like the
virgin loses
virginity to MILF scenario.
Cliche as it is.
And I'd kind of like
there to be one that's
at least kind of real.
What?
Porn isn't for me, though.
To me, sex is very personal.
How am I getting less likable with every sentence?
It's not just a thing you do for fun.
What?
Most of the reason I haven't had any.
So if porn isn't for you, what are
you doing?
Luscious.net?
Look, I was just looking for a place to
write a blog, and this
is the first site that came up in Google.
Yikes.
WordPress, that's so passe.
Look, never do a search
on DuckDuckGo.
This is how it works. This is one of three websites WordPress, that's so passe. Look, never do a search on DuckDuckGo.
This is how it works.
This is one of three websites they can return to you.
So let me just share a little bit about my profile here.
I like writing profiles.
They're hardly accurate as my personality seems to change on a daily basis.
But I am almost always verbose and pretentious. You know, if the word verbose didn't tip you off.
Anywho, and I wrote it that way, in spite of the fact that I can now legally look at porn,
I somehow have not managed to have sex yet.
Amazing, isn't it?
A virgin on a porn site?
That's not me.
That's this guy saying this.
Not Lemon.
Lemon didn't say that.
What a shock.
Frankly, most people I meet bore me,
and I'm too paranoid to put any real details up online.
So I sit in the dank cave of my room and play video games.
Oh, my goodness.
And there I go rambling again.
To sum up my life in the most cliche way possible,
I'm a lonely virgin nerd.
Aww.
So, oh, would you like to know something about my interests?
I would love to know something about your interests.
Sexually, I'm not gay.
Oh, thank God.
I don't want to read a gay gay. Oh, thank God.
I don't want to read a gay blog.
Well, what else?
Well, aside from that, I don't really know what my limits are.
I seem to get off on concepts more than the actual porn.
If you can wrap your head around that.
There are things that I don't fap to.
There are things that I don't fap to.
I think we can all probably say that.
Well, it's more of a, you know, eliminate the negatives, right? I wouldn't say
don't as haven't yet.
From his recent activity,
the Rescue Rangers are not part of that
set.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay, this one's pretty special. So this is a
blog post by Wolfen749.
Boots, I think
this is you. It is. It most certainly
is me.
Wolfen 749.
And it happened again!
Or, or... This is like a Vonnegut book.
It happened again, or...
Hopefully there's a little pornographic drawing on every tenth page.
Or, I'm gonna call the law.
Stop fucking.
You're too loud!
Wow.
I'm a little behind on my misadventures with my GF, but she's insisting I post one.
This started around 425 PM.
She got one of her Catwoman costumes and played bad kitty with yours truly.
After chasing around for 10 to 15 minutes.
Come back. God damn it. It's nighttime. You got to get in the box. chasing around for 10 to 15 minutes.
Come back!
God damn it!
It's nighttime. You gotta get in the box.
Stop running.
Cats don't have this kind of stamina. I don't understand.
We make it to the bedroom
where four sets of handcuffs, a box
of candles, and a brand new Batman costume
was waiting.
Things got wild and crazy with her
grinding a top, pouring candle
wax on my bare chest.
When, you guessed it, the cops
showed up to put the brakes on her fun
time. Jesus Christ.
She answered the door and led the police
up to me to start stark
nude except for dry wax
and Batman cowl on my face.
After they stopped laughing, they
told our neighbor, they told
us our neighbor called. Oh well.
Can't people cosplay
fucking peace anymore?
Aww.
There goes the
neighborhood.
Well, I'm
Ex-Zine... Wow, no, I thought I had it. I'm Ex-Zine...
Wow, no, I thought I had it.
I'm Ex-Zine-Zoo-X.
And I call the cops on stupid fucking rap music, but I wouldn't call them for this.
I probably just enjoy it.
Oh, God.
You've got this backwards, man.
I like that he's like...
His profile says,
My PSN name is Zainzoo.
Feel free to add me if you like.
Yay, more perverts to play games with!
A surprising number of these people are putting up their real pictures.
Oh, yeah!
Like, an unusual, like, more
than almost any other. Yeah, Frank West,
your guy is super smug for
reasons that are beyond me. Hey, Lemon,
can you be just some girl?
Oh, sure! I'll be
just some girl. Um,
try closing the windows before fighting
for justice, Batman. Carrot, carrot.
I did, but when you got hot wax poured
on your balls, you tend to belt out a tune or two.
Lol, ow!
Ow, indeed.
Do you find it arousing,
or is it the female that finds it arousing?
It's like a Star Trek line.
At first it was her turn on,
now it's give and take kind of thing,
depending on the mood slash tone being set.
You know, the tone of wax on my balls.
The tune.
Ouch and pain and D minor.
So this has been a super fun time
that we've been having here on Alessius.net,
but I feel like I haven't really properly been aroused.
Like, A3D1, Frank West, will you tell a real erotic story about something that happened to you for real?
I will tell you a 100% true story.
Great.
You heard it from my mouth, the mouth of 831 Big Booty.
Oh, yeah.
Big Booty.
I call this report Cheerleader Locker Madness.
Okay.
Title says it all, XD.
After our game against the oldest river school,
we won and decided to celebrate the only way we knew how.
XD.
All the cheerleaders got naked in the lockers and started screaming.
That doesn't sound like a pizza party at all.
All the cheerleaders got naked inside of their locker.
They all decided to try out for the Dallas cheerleaders.
And started screaming, saying,
Fuck yeah, we beat
not gonna say name for reasons
high school!
Okay, yep. After that, the girl
that said, Cheerleader, I don't know
how many we are arsem.
That's when we discovered the gas
leak in the locker room.
And all the girls went nuts.
Slapping themselves.
Then the firefighters showed up, and that was the best event of my life.
We all started making out.
Sure. Fingering each other, rubbing tits, and licking each other's pussies.
I obviously had my fun, too.
Obviously.
Sure.
What?
All the girls were spanking and rubbing all around my body.
As I was having sex with a fellow cheerleader in the 69 position,
cat face,
the girls who squirted
or came first were fucked again
until they did it again, and since I squirted
a lot, oh my god, I got licked, fingered,
and kissed to the max.
It was so much goddamn fun.
Hey, hey, that's enough fingering!
I am done,
motherfucker! She can't take anymore. Uh, hey, you's enough fingering. I am done, motherfucker.
She can't take anymore.
Hey, you guys probably met my cousin many, like, 100 episodes ago.
My name's Horny Boy.
Oh!
You sexy beast.
I second the motion to proclaim you a sexy beast.
It is so noted.
Let it be logged in the charter.
All in favor, say aye.
I
really like your story, Frank West.
Your true, actual, real
for real, true story.
What are some titles, some other
true, actual, for real stories that you've
written? Well, the very
next story I wrote was I'm a
cheerleader now, which I wrote a month later.
Um, that's
huh, alright.
And before that, I talked about me and
my sisters fighting, which I'm sure is
totally normal and doesn't turn sexual. Wait, but
what did you write after me and my sisters
fight? Uh, oh, I wrote
vine porn.
What I like about that thread is
it's like, has anyone ever seen Vine porn?
And the first person replies is like, if it's like tentacle
sex, then I'm up for it.
That's not that Vine.
I was trying to figure out. I needed to
look at it, because we are on a hentai
site. You're right, that's a good point.
Any other stories that you wrote?
Well, I also talked about my first tit job, me teasing around.
And before that, I talked about how I was going to start blogging.
No, sir.
You're going to start blojing.
Oh, I talked about I'm going to start blojing.
Actually, you know what?
Seeing as how you properly
pronounce that title,
Ace here,
read I'm going to start
bloshing, would you?
Okay, I'm going to tell you
how I'm going to start
bloshing.
Yeah, this is right
in your wheelhouse.
All right, yeah.
Oh, hell yes.
If you want to know
what bloshing is,
check out Lou Fernandez's
podcast. It's's lou reads.com r-e-a-d-s oh jesus so some people tell me i should
start blogging cost of the shit i pull in public so here's my first blog i hope anyone who reads
enjoys colon three so today in summer school i sat next to this girl who had the biggest buns I've seen in a while
and me having a huge ass myself.
That means a lot.
So I was getting really horny since I turn on easily
just by looking at her.
When I see what she's doing on her phone, colon 3,
she was watching porn!
I said to myself, ooh, I'm so begging this chick.
So I scoot near her a bit more
and I smack her ass from the hole in the chair.
She looks at me in sace.
Was that you, girl? Then I put my hand
on her lap and start reaching for her pussy
and said, yeah. She then said,
you like girls or what?
Then I reached her
pussy and put my hand in her pants
and under her panties. I said,
I'll show you what I like, baby. Then I kissed
her right there. I pushed away
and then said, let's go outside.
We left to the bathrooms and there the girl took of her clothes and I took of mine.
And we were both wet already.
I kissed her again and figured her pussy.
She wasn't a virgin though.
She really liked my ass.
I told her if she wanted a taste and she got her face on my ass so fast it was amazing.
She then licked my ass whole and stuck her tongue in it and it felt great.
She then spit in my ass and started to finger my booty.
I got so excited I peed a bit from my pussy.
On a burger.
Well, it's a good thing that she was licking your ass then.
Yes.
Yeah.
After that,
I told her to let me
return the favor.
So she bent over in front of me
and I spanked her big ass
and then I stuck two fingers in.
Then I started putting my whole fist
and she moaned louder than ever.
I lifted her
and made out with her
so she could keep it down.
I fisted her faster
until she said,
okay, baby, it's starting to hurt,
and I need to use the john.
I said, ew, okay.
Ew, that's gross!
I should point out that john's with a capital J,
so it's a guy named John that they're going to use at this point.
He's just standing there in the corner the whole time.
He's the bathroom attendant.
The hall monitor
So I said
Ew okay
Then we made out
And dressed ourselves
And I took her panties
As she stayed in the bathroom
The end
Yay
Oh boy
Wow
I just
I like
Tie Hunter adds
Not my cup of tea But I appreciate others on here who use good English skills.
You could just be lazy about it.
Bitch!
Although he only gives it 1 out of 10 for pacing.
Just sort of as another indicator of tone of the site,
as something that we won't read,
but it's called Here's My Review of Sonic Boom Shattered Crystal.
It's the
longest thing!
Oh.
So,
you know,
obviously, you know, the blogging
is a terrific, terrific
thing to do.
You get to
start companies such as Medium
and just put inane shit
on everyone's screen. It's terrific.
But one of the things that's wonderful to do with Medium
sorry, blogs in general
is that you can write a
rant. And everyone likes
rants.
So
Ace here.
How's October been for you?
Well, oh.
Arrgh!
This October's been a nightmare for me at work.
I twisted my wrist about a fortnight ago,
and it still has not healed right.
My co-worker either lectures me on how to do my job,
despite only being there six months
or deliberately gives me wrong amounts forcing me to waste time recounting.
If it wasn't for the latest update for Yad Derikonotro being released on my big app,
I probably would have lost it today.
What would you...
Sorry, I apologize.
I pronounced pro-bo-bably wrong. Pro-bo-, I pronounced pro-bo-bably wrong.
Pro-bo-bably.
Pro-bo-bably.
Thank you.
Pro-bo-bably.
God, that was hard.
Um, uh, and then, uh, my name's Marifu.
Uh, well, that was a surprisingly short rant.
I put a lot of anger in each word!
That's an efficient rant.
So, Frank West.
Yes.
Can you give me advice on what not to do when visiting somebody for the first time?
I certainly can.
Oh, thank you.
I dun...
Dweenila can.
Okay, great.
So, as some of you might know, I am currently visiting my cosine.
My cosine.
And her boyfriend.
It's a cousine.
That's quite the tangent.
Oh, my God.
I'm out.
Bye.
So I'm visiting my co-sign and her boyfriend for Thanksgiving.
I never was there before, only having met her boyfriend once before, actually.
So the two are al-nice.
What?
Same can be said for her boyfriend's parents and brother.
Sup, ladies? This is al-nice.
Al-nice?
But oh lordy, the relevance started to arrive.
And let us just say that they aren't as nice.
By now it is pretty well known that I am not the tallest person,
and so people who never met me before tend to pick on me.
Like it always happens to us shorties.
Yeah, you fucking short person!
What the fuck?
Why don't you grow some, shorty?
Shorty.
Not even mentioning that I have weird noise.
Sorry, weird nose.
So yes, small tip.
If you are 19 and going somewhere for the first time,
never take plushies with you.
What?
That's actually really good advice.
Really good advice.
That's very good advice.
No, seriously.
So, helpful.
Helpful.
Retweet.
While my husband wasn't there...
While my husband was there,
everything was dandy.
He is the tallest
and probably strongest person
currently present.
But once he left to do some stuff,
it started.
He won the world's strongest man competition.
So both the boyfriend and my husband
were out of the house, and two cousins
took my QB
and threw it over my head and cry face.
Tall people are dicks.
There's an asterisk
to this post that says they were not naked.
It's a footnote where no footnote is called for.
Right, so who wasn't naked?
I don't know who's not naked.
Seriously?
How old are they, 10?
Just punch him in the dick.
That's how Groovy Man finds every resolution.
19 and 22, and sadly
I can't do that since I wanted
cookies that were currently in the oven.
Alright, uh...
Boots?
I've heard that you have a story about a tranny.
We're gonna talk about tranny.
So...
Drinking with friends and a friend
of a friend is a tranny.
Transsexual.
Not a fun tranny, I have a deep affection towards them and their struggle,
but I would call a poser, but a full transition poser in this case,
a woman to a man. And I listen for a good hour of how to be a man,
considering I'm an expert of being a male gender
and knowing many actual born males.
You're an expert
being of the male. Okay, so
you're male, so therefore
you're an expert of being a man. Okay, great.
Alright, well I'm glad that paragraph's
done because this new one's going to happen.
How to smell like one.
What to do one what to do
and not to do and all kinds of
bullshit
what really got me is the consideration
of it I don't think about
hey I need
to do this or I might be
construed as feminine but I just do
I would think
that a man and then in
parenthesis woman
in full transition would realize that these hormones that I take make me act a certain way compared to I should act this way.
No.
God damn it.
God damn it.
Anyways.
Gender norms are just so easy.
Yeah.
What are you people having problems with?
Yeah, if you're switching over,
you shouldn't just think about it. You should just
be a man, because that's how it works.
My gender identity is perfect.
Goodbye.
Why can't you be the fun kind?
Anyways, upon
leaving, I pissed all over the toilet
seat, and I did a nice burnout to
affirmate my manhood.
Affirmate. Jesus. Affirmate. to affirmate my manhood. Affirmate.
Jesus.
Affirmate.
Affirmate my manhood.
Not as in, yeah, I'm man, but as in, nice fuck you.
I did this shit because I felt like it, and it was not a preconceived notion of gender,
but because when I take a piss and I am drunk, I hit the hole all the time.
And I love my car. And my
car, or so I perceive,
also enjoys doing burnouts.
Yeah, it can't be a man
unless you piss all over the toilet seat
and fucking drive a car. Yeah, let's wrap this
shit up. Like an asshole, man. Let's wrap this shit up.
I guess what I'm trying to get at
is, if you're struggling so
much with your gender identity,
why would you go upon preconceived notions as a point of reference and not recognize
the human aspect of gender?
Gender!
Oh, God!
You are so infuriating!
You can be a transsexual in full transition.
I don't know.
Let's listen to what this guy has to say.
You're absolutely right.
I'm sure it's going to get smarter. He don't know. Let's listen to what this guy has to say. You're absolutely right. I'm sure it's going to get smarter.
He's an expert. Why would you go out of your way to be more manly
or feminine if you have always thought yourself
as the other sex? Wouldn't you just
be you with different hormones?
Socialization
doesn't exist. No. All in all,
I just wanted to share and get
comments or opinions because it seemed
a bit fucked up that a transsexual was basing their opinion of masculinity on what popular culture dictates as masculine.
Ah!
Ah!
What I can't understand with that is it's not cheap to do either transition.
To do it right, you have to have hormone treatments, the actual surgery, not to
mention recovery time. And none of that is covered by
any insurance that I can think of, so it's all
out of pocket. So why spend so much
money and time and pain and agony to be worried about
how popular culture thinks your preferred gender
should act? Hey, I just realized
I never told you what my name is.
Because my name is also what I am.
Well, my name is what I am.
I am let down.
Oh. Oh.
Wow.
I was chained by 4,000, but I'm really fucking asshole.
You fucking scumbag.
You know what?
Why should you, like, spend money to transition to another gender?
You should just do it.
Am I right, guys?
Yeah. Listen, it's totally. Just fucking make it happen. And why even do it. Am I right, guys? Yeah, totally.
Just fucking make it happen.
And why even worry about it?
I mean, I've never experienced it, but obviously, you know.
It's just like whatever.
Just be like a perfect man like me and piss on a seat.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Rub my butthole all over your toilet seat because, I don't know, you're having a bad day.
So I'm going to be a woman just theoretically
speaking I should just take up knitting and
baking and then that's that's done that's
sorted yeah that's all right got
it and learning how to walk in high heels
so I'm
excuse me class
yes
I'm Mr. Hunky
Academia yes
you know I don't even care what you've got to say.
Your name is awesome.
Oh my god, I'm so dreamy.
Obviously you must read a lot of papers and journals.
Giving up porn was a waste of time.
Certainly.
Agreed.
Yes, so as a member of the academia world,
I'm going to say something that all people in academia say, which is, recently I've been watching TED Talks about education and porn.
That's what I said.
You've been reading lots of scientific journal entries.
Right.
TED Talks.
Yep.
I'm down for that.
I'm down for some more hunky academia.
Listen, you need to have, you know, you need to be able to concentrate.
It's like six or seven minutes long sometimes.
Listen, okay, the porn ones have been about why people get addicted to porn and the impact of it.
of it. From what I've watched and read, it
seems to me that watching a lot
of porn, particularly
if you move through a lot of images
in succession, because we're all
masturbating to flip books, right?
Is addictive because your brain
creates a dopamine hit
with every new image you see.
The dopamine hit is triggered
by the brain being fooled
into thinking that every new image is a new and available sexual partner.
Nope.
Oh.
Yeah, that sounds like science.
You must have a really stupid brain.
That's incorrect.
Sure do!
When these drug hits are partnered with masturbation, a dependency grows, and the ability to perform sexually becomes
reliant on constant
dopamine peaks. The fact
that the brain doesn't actually produce
drugs the same way during
real sex leaves the porn addict
at a disadvantage.
Psychologically, porn is
uh, fuck that.
Okay. Learning these things
scared the shit out of me.
And I went for about six weeks looking at porn only once or twice a week.
Oh, God.
You broke that addiction real good.
Yeah, I'm pretty much Amish now.
You know what I learned?
It was fucking boring and signaled the official death of my love life.
I've been in a relationship for six years
and our love life has been in a steady decline
from about our third weekend together.
Jesus.
Wow.
To be fair, maybe they just had sex
like once a minute for that first weekend.
That is a good point.
Now it's once an hour.
What stupid sentence was I at?
Okay.
I love my partner, but she is sexually inactive, so she's dead.
And while she never turns it down if I request or make advances,
she initiates no sexual contact whatsoever.
I'm sure this isn't because he's terrible at sex.
No.
No, I've watched TED Talks about how to fuck.
No, I've watched TED Talks about how to fuck.
When you're the only person making an effort to keep something going, you will eventually give up.
They tried things and made different suggestions, but she has little to no sexual imagination or no desire to explore.
So she doesn't want to fuck me.
So then I was like, well, can I shit in your mouth?
Oh, no.
Oh, you're not up for anything.
So I watch porn.
If I stop, will my dick just die?
I hope so.
We all hope so.
Boots, take a shmite there in the comments.
I'm Schmidt, and I've heard the same things. Try giving
it up a whole nine yards, and honestly
it's pointless.
I realize I have an extreme
appetite for sex and
release, and that one
woman simply can't take care of that.
Given humanity's silly adherence given humanity's silly adherence to monogamy i can't exactly have the people i need to be
sexually satisfied without the use of porn i know my girlfriend would prefer me to watch tons of porn over going to other people to get what porn gives me.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
What?
What?
You just hate alphas.
That's your problem.
No, I mean, oh my god, this is a fucking solved problem.
Wow.
Well, I would suggest you all go look at Schmidt's profile, especially
the first sentence of my interests.
Yeah, sexual interests are rather varied.
I'm a rather introverted
19-year-old male.
I've only ever had one woman in my life, and honestly
that's because she's made the move
and puts up with my crap.
Oh, god damn it.
Real alpha. Yeah.
Hey, Frank West Yeah
How is her pussy
Can you
Can you
Can you the blog
The blog writer that's written such blog
Articles as anyone know a lot about
Computer fucking scary
Porn and Jennifer Lopez I'm sorry, Jennifer Lawrence slideshow naked cum facials.
Sorry, Lemon, while you were saying all that, I heard in the background that Jack Chick was surprised that a pervert was into metal.
You're out of the club, motherfucker.
So, yeah, how was her pussy?
Her pussy smelled like fish.
Yep.
I have a Batman avatar.
I'm Dark Reaper's Grimm.
Since DarkHentai94 created a blog about confessions,
I thought I would share one with 100% honesty and candidness.
No bullshit.
So here it is.
Today, I licked a woman's pussy, and unfortunately, it stank.
God damn it, women!
God damn it.
It smelled like fish.
I tried using mouthwash three different times.
Two different mouthwashes.
On yourself or on the pussy?
Everywhere.
Just ram some Mentos up there.
Fresh tastes better.
I flushed.
I brushed.
I washed my face and lips with antibacterial hand soap twice.
And I chewed gum and my mouth still emits the aroma I smelled when I licked her pussy.
Good God!
Wow.
I'm thinking it's because her pussy juices are in my throat and stomach.
Yeah, yeah, probably.
But I'm bummed out.
That's biology.
No, that's how it works.
She gave me head.
I came in about a minute.
And after a minute, after I came, because I was disheartened by the smell on my face and in my mouth,
I ended the sex shit.
I didn't even want to drill her vaginal renal hole.
I just called it off.
There's my confession.
What a shitty humblebrag this is.
I'm looking for a pose that's like,
his dick smelled horrible.
Sometime after she left, I was thinking,
I should have just jacked off to hentai from this site,
like I usually do.
It made me think that sex was so fucking overrated.
This is what life is about, gentlemen.
Not necessarily the fuck-ups,
but being honest with yourself
about yourself.
I learned a lot from that pussy that
smelled like fish.
Coming down to the end of the recording
here, but I want to thank
Fanze for this doc.
There's a whole bunch more of it.
31 pages.
So, thefpl.us.
You can get yourself some terrible, terrible threads.
We are skipping over the tentacle rape one.
So, if you think that that's missing...
You're welcome.
You can fix it your fucking self. tentacle rape one. So, if you think that that's missing, you can
fix it your fucking self.
But,
uh, Acier,
I was going to give you a choice, but I knew
that if I gave you a choice, you would just end up
with da story of da sexy
woman. You're pretty much right.
Yeah.
So, tell me
da story of da sexy woman. Well well i'd like to say uh thank you
for thinking of me lemon you're welcome oh i frequently do thank you so the story of the sexy
woman that woman who was latina or just tanned came into the store through the door she go around
store picking the store things she She need to do da stuff
with da other stuff. She go to da
checkout and da store man say
hello lady, you look
good. You can have stuff for free
when you suck dick.
So women go behind da counter
and suck da duck.
And da man go, oh yeah, dat good.
You do dat. Lady
is gonna come. Yeah, uh, uh, oh, yeah, that's good. Ooh, dude, that lady is gonna come.
Uh, yeah, uh, uh, uh, I is close.
Oh, my God.
And the woman be like, suck, suck, suck.
And the man be like, I is come now.
So the man come on the woman and is like messy and stuff.
So the woman who is not Latina, but just super tanned is like, yeah, that hot boy
and like sits down on
the man dick and go like bounce
bounce and be like, oh yeah, you like
the busy. And then
the man be like, yeah, that
good busy. And
he like come again and then
like women who might actually
be, who might be
actually Latina and not tanned, I don't know, maybe both is like, go dress again and then go take the stuff and leave.
That's my story of a sexy woman.
Hey, I'm wolfing 749.
Huh?
Gets in Dragula and drives away.
Oh.
You mean that fucking Rob Zombie song? Yes. Oh, good. Well, then leave. Oh. You mean that fucking Rob Zombie song?
Yes. Oh, good.
Well, then leave. Yeah. Take your
fucking Rob Zombie and get the fuck out of here.
I'm Mr. Inconspicuous.
Five stars.
A plus. Four stars.
What?
What?
What?
You heard me.
What? You heard me. What?
Huh.
Um, uh,
before we get to the last thing,
I just wanted to tell you,
you know, if you're looking to sign up
on luscious.net, by the way, if you want to
do any of this, you actually
have to register for an account.
If you've never tried to
register for a crappy website before,
you want to go to maildrop.cc.
It's a place
that does burner email addresses.
So, highly
recommended. Also,
mailinator is another one. Anyway.
But, yeah, so if you
were looking at the blog, if you have an account, if you want to participate on luscious.net, you got to follow some fucking rules.
And if you don't follow the fucking rules, it makes me angry.
Because goddamn some of you.
No, seriously.
This is going to be the second time I've put this up here for the same damn reason.
It's a major irritation towards me and the moderators as well as well when you don't
fucking tag your shit. So unfortunately
once against here
is what I would consider
an official tag list.
Okay. Good. Do you have
any like straw man questions for me?
I do.
Why should I properly tag my albums
Lemon? You should probably do that in like a duh duh
voice.
Why should I probably tag my albums, Lemon? You should probably do that in like a duh-duh voice, shouldn't you?
Duh, why should I probably tag my albums?
Yeah, well, for starters, it shows you actually fucking care about what you're uploading as well as your fellow members.
Nothing screams, I'm just uploading because I can, like an album that just has English language, hentai, and manga as their tags.
Or, worse, nothing at all. By putting proper
tags in your albums, you're not only showing the other
members that you know what you're uploading, but it makes your
shit easier to find. If everything
that had gender
bender was tagged, I'd be
able to click on the tag alone and find everything
with that in it. Unfortunately, I
and other people can't do
that since other people don't use
that tag at all.
Not only does it make things easier
to find, but lets people know beforehand what the
doujin contains.
Doujin? What? I'm sure I'll be corrected
on ball pit five times.
No one wants to click on an album and see something that they
weren't expecting and then... Excuse me, it's doujin?
Sure. A Japanese word for
fan-made materials? Okay, I was going to say it's French. it's doujin sure and then japanese word for fan made shut up materials
okay i'm gonna say it's french it's doujain
so nobody wants to click on an album and see something they weren't expecting like you know
a big page of tags if i possibly forget something then please i'm willing to hear any suggestions i
also hope that everyone uses this list to better tag your future uploads on a further note admin
i'm not even an admin i'm just a bitch that everyone uses this list to better tag your future uploads. On a further note, admin.
I'm not even an admin.
I'm just a bitch.
If you happen to come across this,
we seriously need to revert back to the old ways.
We need to go back to the old ways. We used to tag on the website.
We need to go back to the old ways.
We used to tag on the website.
Were there trolls to the old ways who added tags that didn't apply to the album?
Yeah, but those were always quickly removed.
So seriously, admin, please revert back so I don't feel like I need to hound people about their poor tagging.
Please?
I'm going to fucking take this shit serious So one of these important tags is aunt
Is uncle in there as well or just aunt?
Yeah uncle is in there
Okay
So like how many relatives
I'm assuming cousin is in there
Do I have like
Second cousin once removed
Mother is there, son is there
Crunkle
Fake lolly.
I guess that makes sense.
Yeah.
Gross.
All right.
Snowball.
The last piece here is a piece by DarkHentai94.
And DarkHentai94 has a series of desires.
Oh, shit.
Yeah. So I'm going to start this out and then just me, Boots, AC Air, Jack Chick, Frank West,
and then in rotation.
Okay.
Well, so this post is desires.
Hello there, everyone.
If you have been reading my blogs, you know who I am and what I'm about to do.
So no time for pleasantries.
Only time to tell you what I want to tell you.
Okay.
As promised, I'm going to tell you all my sexual desires.
This is an order.
Please don't.
Okay.
Where to begin?
No.
Boy, I love numbered lists.
Well, I guess an appropriate place to start is from my least desires up to my greatest desires.
Boots, what's desire number one?
Desire number one!
You should get a blowjob!
Yay! This is the best!
And no, I don't want a typical blowjob.
I want a blowjob to
where a girl will
let me ram my dick down her throat
and will choke on it.
Yay!
I guess you could also call this a deep thorat.
No, it's called sexual assault.
Boo!
AC, what's desire number two?
Oh, shit.
Desire number two.
I've always had a foot fetish, even when I was a little kid.
I've been increasing interested in foot jobs, and now I want to see what they're like.
Okay.
Check, check.
A lot of people will be weirded out on this one, but we all have our weird desires.
Anyway, I've always wanted some random girl who is cute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is weird.
Good stipulation.
That's what you do when you're making
a devil's bargain. You gotta make sure to put
that fucking shit on paper.
To be one of those stalker
kind of girls and stalk me
as in the stalker at Walmart.
Oh.
She stalks the shelves.
Then one day
just ask me on a date.
We are in a bar eating and drinking
Then I go leave to do something
While I'm gone she puts something in my drink
That makes me dizzy
And I'm able to fight off any threat
Leaving out the part I may get mugged
And then 500 words of generic porn text
Can we just read the one bit that's capitalized?
Actually wait wait wait
Just back up just for a second
So you've got this like crazy being sedated rape fantasy thing that happens.
And then after a few minutes, she stops, right?
She stops and she whispers something after a few minutes?
After a few minutes, she stops and whispers,
Now, on to the main course.
She rips a little hole in her short shorts,
revealing her very wet vajaja.
That's pronounced vajaya.
My apologies.
She rips a little hole in her short shorts, revealing her very wet vajaya, and takes my cock.
She says, there's no turning back now.
She puts my cock in her
and moans loudly.
She shivers and looks like a crazy chick
which I love.
And screams
this cock is exactly
what I have been searching for
for a very long time.
This is really
key to the eroticism
of it, I'm sure.
So that was desire number three.
Frank West, will you read desire number three, please?
Desire number three.
Hey, it drained all the energy out of him.
I have always loved breasts of all sizes.
Wow.
I've just loved big ones better because I love the feeling of being suffocated when my face is in the cleavage.
Which has happened many times, I'm sure.
Anyway, I have always wanted to receive pie-zury.
Or, for those of you uneducated Americans, a titfuck.
No, it's just a titfuck!
God damn it!
It's not like it's imported from Japan!
Were you talking about
cleavage, or were you talking about clevage?
I'm just not sure.
I was talking about clevage.
Look, I lived through the clavage.
I also thought it was interesting that the list is supposed to be
from the least erotic to the most erotic,
but then the first rape fantasy
is a thousand paragraphs long.
Anyway, desire number four.
I've always wanted to fuck a pale girl.
B-Cow-Soo.
B-Cow-Soo.
To me, pale girls are the ones...
A pale girl named Becca Sue.
Oh, yeah!
Becca Sue to me.
Pale girls are the ones who are beautiful, smiley face.
I don't particularly care for girls with tans.
Because, that's a weird word,
I'm not really into what society
proclaims as beautiful.
Oh, you rebel!
Yeah, that's right!
That's right. Fuck you.
I'm a feminist.
Think about it.
Fuck you.
Just don't. Don't think about it.
If you think about it a little harder, I'm not into it.
Desire number five.
I've always,
always,
always
wanted a girl
to either tie me
to a bed
or handcuff
to a bed.
Sure.
Yes,
I'm a very
submissive-y person.
Well,
I've always wanted to
rip a hole in a girl's leggings and
fuck her while gripping her fat
ass. That's
PH fat. Well, I've always wanted
to fuck a girl while she's wearing
a skirt. Oh, shit.
I don't know why, but that just looks so
damn hot to me.
This is like even...
Again, these are getting more erotic
every time. I've been recently
curious as to what it's like to come down
a girl's throat.
For
you, for the girl, for the cum,
like, whose path are we following
here? I feel like we're in a support group at this point.
As come? Like, whose path are we following here? I feel like we're in a support group at this point. As you can all probably
guess, I've been very
curious to see what it
feels like to have a girl
fuck you.
No dildo included.
So, what exactly am I
even talking about then?
He's talking about pegging.
No, he's not.
No dildo included.
I guess she has to come with a tool for the job.
He's talking about dick girls.
Oh, he's talking about dick girls.
I keep forgetting I'm on a hentai forum.
Yeah.
Oh.
All right.
You're right.
Maybe he's talking about one of those women who pretend to be men but aren't really manly.
No.
You shut up.
I've got desire number ten.
I've always wanted to be teased because to me, what makes sex all the satisfying is when
you get teased first instead of jumping in it right off the bat.
We have a word for that in English, too.
It's called foreplay.
I think you're probably used to being teased.
This is what I call ramping up from throat fucking.
Yes.
That's way harder than throat fucking.
Well, I've
always wanted to fuck a super
hot cousin of mine and a really
good friend of mine who is also a girl.
At the same time? Yes.
That's it. That's all I got.
That is the most erotic thing I can think of
Oh, we get some clarification
On the pegging alluded to right there
Frank West, you're a huntress Lexi
It seems like you lean towards
More submissive tendencies
Judging from your desires
Though props to you for admitting
You'd let a chick bang you up the ass
Or, I assume it's up the ass you'd let a chick bang you up the ass. Or I assume it's up the ass.
I may let a chick bang me.
Still debating on that.
Uh, yeah.
But to further elucidate,
also, I was leaning more
to the fact that I want
a chick to bang me with her
bayaya.
So I'm
super confused about how...
Oh lady, put your
Bayaya in me.
Just mash it
in me. I think that's how this works.
Yeah, like Dark Hentai, maybe just
be like, I'd sure like to fuck, and then
maybe later on I'll figure out
how to be weird about it. I think that's a track
by Pitbull, right?
What did we learn from any of this, F-Plus?
Nothing, to be honest. Fuck.
Yeah, we learned that people that are into being a member of a community around pornographic material have bullshit opinions.
And bullshit opinions that don't all completely relate to porn.
Like, just bullshit opinions in general.
There's a lot of posts here that aren't about porn at all.
Yeah.
There's a lot of posts here that aren't about porn at all.
Yeah.
Like, it's just... Like, people are willing to form a community around literally anything on the internet.
And if there's not enough content to actually discuss about it all the time, we'll just post random shit.
Well, what I think is really fascinating is that there's so many people who are really excited about having their real name and picture here. Yeah.
But, like, posting about, like,
I'm a virgin, and I'm 100 years
old, and I'm really excited to have
sex with a chick, but I don't know how to do that
because I'm a gross nerd.
I was a little disappointed
that at no point were we looking at
a profile, and I saw a
LinkedIn button. Oh, man.
Kind of hoping that
they have that functionality.
Sort of symmetry would work out.
Yeah, I mean, you can't have a thing
that won't have a community.
It's just not possible.
I just clicked a link that says
Beastiality!
206 albums!
19,125 members.
And there's people who have their fucking real pictures associated with that.
Like, they're just like, you know what I want to do?
Make sure that I'm completely unhirable anywhere.
And, and spend time, like, like, cultivating the community.
Yeah.
You know?
Like, you fucking people, oh my god, it's like you don't even have any respect for,
for dachshunds having sex with women.
Right, they're invested in this.
They're willing to spend time to build a community and make internet friends.
They're people talking to each other on a profile.
That is the key to a specialized community is that they come up or co-opt their own jargon.
In this case, grabbing all the Japanese terms for common sex acts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Listen, I'm the kind of person that makes a statement.
I don't want to be friends with anybody who doesn't want to fuck Gadget from Rescue Rangers
and then has to find people that fit under the category of people that I could be friends with.
I also, I mean, because we've done different kind of porn things and
and I it's it's it's also I think
kind of interesting that there's
there's such a clear fork in
sort of like sexual proclivities
from like the people that are like way too
into like you know like
porn forums and then people
that are like way too into anime
like like those kinks
absolutely go in two completely
different directions both of them are terrible and dehumanizing but in you know different ways
um and if you're looking to be dehumanized i would recommend that you sign up for an account on ball
it's plp.it uh $10 gets you a lifetime subscription.
So that's good.
I mean, unless you die tomorrow, in which case it's kind of a ripoff.
But, you know, probably a bugger.
You should probably avoid dying tomorrow.
Ooh, yeah, do that.
Absolutely.
Website is thefpl.us.
It's been going as long as the podcast has.
Leave a comment.
Read a document.
Push the fucking flatter button, you monster.
Contribute.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Stay kinky.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. B-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D Show some fucking effort for the other person!
If Travis talking about something didn't fucking change the subject to whatever the fuck you want to say, can you actually listen?
If I say I'm fucking depressed, do not fucking tell me about a fucking zelda game
but that's my usual reaction clearly i wanted to talk about something
fuck zelda fuck you and zelda hey hey hey hey you can say whatever you want to me
but you do not say such things to zelda or just or just do a search for Fuck You and Zelda on
luscious.net.
Either way.