The F Plus - 170: Tickle Me Weirdo
Episode Date: March 20, 2015Why do we like to laugh? A lot of reasons, really, but let's just go with "because it feels good". But if something just "feels good", does that mean that people on the internet will turn it into... a fetish? Well, yes of course. It exists, so people on the internet turn it into a fetish. For this episode, we're examining the world of tickling enthusiasts; it's an overwhelmingly British community of people for whom "coochie coo" plays a disturbingly important role in their lives. This week, The F Plus lives in a Marxist Utopia.
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Boy, I sure do like staring at this pornographic sidebar.
You too, huh? Let the bygones go bye-bye
No more will I sigh or cry
Welcome to the F+, a terrible place, and there's terrible things, and they're read with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Jack Chick.
Please hold my pickle while I keep the tickle.
Victor Laszlo.
Sadly it didn't tickle, and I got a tongue full of deodorant.
Boots rain gear.
A nice, thick, comfortable crotch strap would provide even pressure across the whole clitoral zone.
Gross.
Frank West.
Thank God for the internet so I could find out I wasn't alone and what a fetish was.
Visit LeftHandRadio.com to hear more funny words from Adam Bozarth.
There's an art and a science to tickling strangers.
I've been doing it my entire life.
And Lemon.
A brick is more ticklish than me.
A brick!
Ticklish brick.
Hey, F+.
Hey, Lemon.
Are you guys ready to record a comedy podcast?
Yeah, bro.
Yes.
Terrific.
You know, one of the things that's sometimes difficult
about comedy, just as an art form,
is that you have to sort of compose
comedic arcs and and themes and that can be difficult I feel and pointless and
and and the reason I am a pointless and the reason why it's pointless God. Right?
And the reason why it's pointless
is because instead of doing any of that,
you can just tickle each other.
And if you do that, then it's super erotic.
Wait, wait, wait.
Is that the goal of a comedy podcast?
Today, we're going to be visiting a site
called ticklebritz.co.uk.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I'm really surprised that Britain was involved.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's tickle-britz.co.uk.
And we're going to be reading their forum and learning a little bit more about the sexuality of tickling.
But before we do that, we need to start out with eHealthForum, a place where we can all get healthy.
And I just want to ask a quick question to you.
My name is Nick 12, and I need help with my tickling fetish.
Okay, so I need help.
I have a tickling fetish and I keep having
the drive to tickle her and it really
turns me on and I can't help it. She gets
so mad and it just kills me
so bad that she doesn't like being tickled
and I don't know what to do. Like,
when I see her feet, I just want to tickle
them and hear her laugh or if she does
her hair, I want to do
the same to her armpits. Period.
I have no idea what to do about this. We have been together for a year the same to her armpits. Period. I have no idea
what to do about this. We have been together
for a year and I love her to death. I want to
know if there is a cure. Whatever is wrong with
me.
I don't want to lose her. Please respond
with help or comments. Please!
Thank you. I'll do anything for this
girl. Just tell me what to do.
Please help.
So,
I'm hoping that Chewbacca
1234 will help me.
Boots, take Chewbacca, please.
Oh, yeah. Tickle fetish.
Right? Yep.
I know where you're coming from,
my friend. My brother has a tickle fetish.
However, it's
a bit odd. He makes pictures
all the time on his DA and in real life he nearly
knocked my teeth out for tickling him one time but he hates it to a passion and his need of help
sad to say i'm the only one in the whole family who knows about it and where i graph so oh And I wear graphic tees all the time, i.e. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mondo Gecko.
And he tickles me till I nearly cry at this point in time.
I understand he can't control it.
That don't change the fact that we both get real pissed off when he tickled.
that don't change the fact that we both get real pissed off when he tickled.
He does not want to go dating as he thinks that girls will think he's a creep because of his tickle fetish.
It's like an addiction to crack or cocaine.
It's hard to break.
He kind of is a creep since he's getting a boner from tickling his brother.
What was the bit about the t-shirts?
I wear graphic keys all the time. You just want to brag about the Jim and Terry shirt.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mondo Gecko.
It's like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
I mean, he just can't help it.
He just starts tickling.
He just starts...
He's got to tickle those turtles.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is credibility.
I mean, you know.
Are you going to take somebody seriously
who isn't wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt all the time?
So that's why people on the internet keep asking what I'm wearing.
And I'm sad to say that's the only thing I ever contributed to eHealthForum.
Sorry.
Victor, also in this thread, if you'll scroll down to PJK513, his post is too long for us to read.
Yes.
But just read the part.
I'm sure you've heard all kinds of negative things.
All right.
I'm PJK513.
I'm sure you've heard all kinds of negative things about your fetishes,
but have you considered the positive side of having them?
First of all, we're more adventurous when it comes to making love.
We also have a natural
advantage when it comes to foreplay.
A good tickler has a well-developed
sense of touch.
That's how it's owned.
The skill it takes
to find someone's ticklish spots and playfully
exploit them can also be used to
find someone's erogenous zones and playfully exploit them, can also be used to find someone's erogenous zones
and drive her wild with pleasure.
I'm assuming your G-spot is underneath your armpit.
Yeah, that's a perfect response to someone who's like,
this guy doesn't like being tickled.
Well, obviously you've got to tickle her.
My girlfriend loves the way I touch her.
She never liked having someone touch her breasts until she met me.
And I tickled them for her.
Oh, never mind.
No, sorry.
For a second, I didn't believe your story for some reason.
Yeah, no.
This whole area, no.
And if you're also into feet like I am, did you know how many erogenous zones are found in the soles of the feet?
My girlfriend knows now.
Of course you're into feet.
Does your girlfriend have foot vaginas?
No, she knows that the number is zero.
Now I wish I could do a Michael Palin voice now, because that would have been perfect.
So that was just a little bit of eHealth Forum.
But we need to get right into TickleBritz.co.uk.
I'll mention right here that this document was put together by Caroline.
Caroline.
And she has organized TickleBritz Forum into the following categories.
Armpits, advice, miscellaneous,
and stories.
We love you, Caroline.
So we're going to start
off with
Tickle During Yoga.
Adam, take that, please.
Alright, this is
tickling doing yoga
hi what's up
I'm into tickling for quite a while
well not really into
never really had a tickling session
or
what are you chewing on ice right now
no
I think that's an abbreviation of something
Sith
I had to blow it up to make sure I can actually see I think that's an abbreviation of something. Sith.
I had to blow it up to make sure I can actually see.
Never had a tickling session like this, but tickling, especially armpits, drove me crazy
since I remember myself,
and I tend to steal a tickle here and there,
especially on yoga classes.
What?
What?
All right. This is real. Oh, it's a tickle rain. there, especially on yoga classes. What? What? What?
All right.
This is a drill. Oh, it's a tickle rain.
Oh, my God.
That's what our friend party does.
Oh, my God.
Obviously, you guys have never been
to a British yoga class.
Fair enough.
I think in America,
you serve three to five for that.
All right, you mugs.
This is a drill.
During yoga,
I try to locate myself
near a beautiful girl.
This girl has to wear a shirt without sleeves.
Now, during a class, I try to create eye contact and share a smile with her
and here and there.
Then we lift our arms above our head or shift,
and I accidentally touch her armpit.
If her reaction is an angry look or taking a step away,
I take the hint, and I keep my hands to myself.
But fortunately, this is seldom the case.
Usually, a reaction is something between a small smile
to a tiny giggle and a blush.
My favorite.
Oh my god.
Yeah, that's right.
And I got more to say.
Sexual assault for dummies.
I'll grant that your British accent is better than Brad Pitt's.
Thank you.
Anyways, a few weeks ago, I went to a yoga class,
and there was this co-worker of mine, nice looking and all,
but I haven't really paid special attention to her until then.
She has a boyfriend and all.
So she located her mat next to me.
I thought, ok, whatever, no tickle today.
But then it got hot and she took her long shirt off and stayed with her sleeveless tiny shirt.
And I thought to myself, wow.
Wow.
I pushed my sunglasses down to the tip of my nose.
But still remembered that we're co-workers and it's not polite and all.
The class went on and whatever.
And whenever I could,
I took a glimpse at her armpits.
They were
spectacular. Gentle
with a hint of stubble.
That's right. Gentle
with a hint of stubble, the way I like my
armpits. Crikey!
That's a rap song.
And at the end of the class,
there was this posture
where you lied on your back, hands spread, eagle, eyes closed.
Of course, my eyes weren't closed.
Her right side armpit was two inches away from my left hand, and it drove me crazy.
I just had to touch it, so I did, with a long five-finger stroke.
He's talking about the armpit, right?
Yeah.
Nope.
a stroke.
He's talking about the armpit, right?
Yeah. Nope.
She shook and gave me an angel smile. After the
class, she told me, you're crazy.
I'm super ticklish.
If it would
have been my feet, I would have jumped
to the ceiling.
Since then, sometimes
when I visit her at her chamber, she gathers
her hair, and she gives me a
tiny smile when I look at her armpit.
Wait, chamber? That's, okay, British translation,
the toilet?
Yeah. When I visit her at the chamber,
she gathers her hair. But she gathers her hair?
Is that a British thing?
I think it's, do British women
just shed when they take a shit? No, I think she's
putting her hair in a ponytail is what's...
Why?
Oh, okay.
Why is he visiting her at the bathroom?
Boy, in Britain we have co-ed bathrooms.
What a silly question!
Because her pants are down, you idiot!
Again, obviously you've never seen British yoga.
And she gives me a tiny smile when I look at her armpits
and fight a serious odd on.
Come here, you!
I keep it at that because, as I said, she has a boyfriend.
Anyways, it was a nice experience.
What would you do?
Not any of that.
You wouldn't do any of that?
I wouldn't.
You wouldn't tickle girls in a hot yoga class?
No.
Probably wouldn't.
Do you hate pussy or something?
What's up?
No, I like pussy.
I hate armpits.
Wait, you can tell the difference?
I'm not clear on the distinction.
Also, nobody responded to this.
That's true.
That's his only post.
On ticklebritz.co.uk
I thought your story was hot enough.
Frank West, will you tell me a little bit
about ear and nose feather tickling?
I will.
You've now moved out of armpit category
and into advice category.
I'm world champ 2012.
And I'm the world champ, maybe, 2012.
And I'm here to tell you about
ear and nose feather tickling.
I'm so good at Galaxian.
I'm a certified tickle nut of the UK.
Oh my God, that's a category.
That's not even a tag.
Alright.
I'm glad he's a world champ and he got his certification.
This guy's a go-getter.
You can't just rest on your laurels.
Hi guys.
I read on here a couple of months ago
about a technique where you tickled the roof of the mouse, which tickled as well as irritated, annoyed the Lee.
Well, you veterans of the game may already know this, but tickling the inside of the nostrils with a feather or electric toothbrush...
What?
What?
is just as effective in both aspects. Wow!
If not more, the same with the ears,
although I don't think an electric toothbrush would be safe there.
Plus not to mention they're easier and safer places to access.
Any thoughts?
Brush your pussy!
Brush that pussy every day!
Sir, this is a tickling forum.
Get out!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Brush the pussy brushing forum. Get out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So...
Pussy brushing for him.
An electric toothbrush is perfectly safe in the nose, but not in the ear?
I guess.
Yeah, well, sometimes you gotta brush your ears, man.
Jack Check, you are Alfano?
A-L-P-H-A-N-O?
I wouldn't suggest sticking anything up your nose, especially not an electric toothbrush.
The membranes, etc., inside the nose
are really quite delicate and easily damaged.
Not only that, if you go too far up the nose,
you can cause nosebleeds.
Yep, that's what I'd worry about
with an electric toothbrush up my nose.
Might bleed a little.
Confirmed by a doctor.
That's all you gotta worry about. I might bleed a little. Yeah. Confirmed by a doctor. Yeah. That's all you've got to worry about.
Well, it's good to know.
It's good to know.
Is it medically...
Like, as a medical professional, would you recommend that you stick a toothbrush up your nose?
Not an electric one.
Just a regular.
I mean, sure.
Great.
How do you...
But, I mean, how do you get to those hard-to-reach areas behind the nose thingies?
You got to get a reach.
I don't know anything about the fucking nose thingies.
Everybody knows that.
Yeah, get the reach with the angled bristles.
I mean, I don't know.
Victor might be a doctor, but this dude is the world champ.
I know who I'm trusting.
Another post here.
This is a post called Yo Mama for some reason.
But it's not what you think it is.
Okay, so I'm TKRDB2000.
I have seen so many sites that have what they call mummified tickling.
Has anyone ever had it done to them?
Boots, you're a tickle mad?
I'm so mad
I can't even find my own post.
He's gone mad with tickling.
I found it now, but I'm still mad.
Oh my god, peewee.
I'm sorry, tickle mad, tell me a little bit
about yourself.
Oh, I'm a total and complete bastard.
Which is also what you are.
Which is also a category.
Yeah.
A custom thing.
No, most people are that.
Okay.
At least they're honest.
Anyway, I was wrapped from head to toe with head sticking out and cling film on me.
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
During a meet-up with someone from here, I couldn't move an inch and was absolutely tortured, senseless.
Lost a few pounds, too, which wasn't a bad thing.
Lost a few pounds? Money. Lost a few pounds too. It wasn't a bad thing. Lost a few pounds?
Money.
Lost a few pounds?
Money.
Hey, Tickle Mad, do you have any safety advice to follow this up with?
Yeah, one word of safety advice for anyone that does try this.
Please make sure you have some scissors or cutting implements
available.
It's still fun when you're wrapped up
like that and the hotel fire alarm goes
off. You can't get out of it.
It's fun for everyone else.
Yeah, you have to trust
your lure
200%. Is that a cutesy
shortening of tickler? Yes.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God.
Caroline put this in the beginning.
Oh, that's with the Lee.
Oh!
Yeah, jargon. You know, every fetish community
has to have its own jargon. And the one piece
of jargon here is that Lurr
is Tickler, and Lee
is Tickley. Because
otherwise you'd have to type all of those letters out.
That's not the only piece of jargon.
The first rule of Tickle Club is you never say tickle?
Yeah.
Oh my god, Frank.
Frank West found
an explanation for the complete and total
bastard.
And it is horrifying.
Yeah, it's great.
Total and complete Bastard.
Not a rank you get by reaching a certain amount of posts,
but by meeting someone from the community for tickling fun.
Achievement unlocked!
What?
Congrats you smegging-lations, because that's...
And surviving, I assume.
Great.
Bast stands for British Affiliated Society
of Tickle Files
of course it does
that doesn't sound like a Greek word
so my name is
I'm not Dave
do your parents know about your fetish? yep So my name is I'm Not Dave.
Do your parents know about your fetish?
Yep.
Reactions?
Here's something I asked on the TMF, which who knows, but T probably stands for tickle in this case.
And something I was talking about with Mechri.
Do your parents know about your tickle fetish?
If so, how did they react?
My parents caught me looking at tickle stuff when I was 14
and freaked.
Calling me weird and
wrong, asking me why I wasn't
looking at boobs like normal teenage
boys.
Why won't you look at boobs?
I left all of those Cherry and Wee magazines out.
You didn't look at a one of them.
I hide it so very carefully now.
I think it's because of the way they reacted
that I'm so shy about my fetish now.
Smiley that's turning very red because of his embarrassment.
And Jack Check, you are one, two, three, go.
Okay.
I wonder if I'm Not Dave is like the British version of Cheech and Chong.
That would be their popular sketch.
I'm not Dave.
Sure you are. I'm a, Dave. Sure you are.
I'm a certified
tickle nut of the UK.
So I'm 1, 2, 3, go.
Yep.
Just over a year ago, my
mom saw light from my
room, and I was looking
at tickling, and I had my headphones
on, so I didn't see her come in
at first. and I quickly
shut it off and she thought I was looking
at horrific torture.
So I told them in the morning
What?
She just assumed that?
Oh, you're probably looking at
torture porn again. Nope, not
this time. Hear me out, hear me out.
Okay, sorry. So I told
them in the morning and they were quite relieved, I think.
They haven't mentioned it since.
Quite a funny episode, really.
Not a little embarrassing.
Well, honey, at least our son probably won't kill somebody.
Or he might.
Or he has to kill somebody.
Victor, you're Muse?
It's the shared account by all members of the band Muse.
Alright, I am Muse.
Good forbit.
I think I would rather anyone else on the planet know than my parents,
just as I would rather know about anyone else's sexual preferences on the planet than my own parents.
Accepting perhaps dear old Gran.
Good forbit?
Good forbit.
Good forbit.
Good forbit.
What?
Good forbit.
What's your problem?
It's a British term, okay?
They spell God with an extra O.
Just when they really mean it.
That's how the Anglican church does it, right?
And then on the second page there, Adam, if you'll take Harabish?
H-A-R-I-B-I-S-H?
My rents don't know.
They know I'm into bondage, though.
Why do they know that?
Because I'm into bondage, and that's part of it.
But that doesn't mean your parents
have to know. No, everyone has
to know. Of course. By the way,
I'm so sorry. You're right. I'm Hari Bish,
and I am a total and complete
bastard.
Oh, no, man.
So many of these people.
Although I've been quite open about that,
my kick-ass Velcro cuffs hanging off my bed are a dead giveaway anyway.
My mom walked in and asked what they're for once.
I simply replied, what do you think?
And we left it at that
I have, however
Discovered that pretty much all my friend group
Know about the other stuff too
How the fuck do they all know about that?
Because I keep posting
Links to my tumblr
There's lots of black and white
Photos of people in leather on my Tumblr.
I told me closest friends, but the ones that aren't as close appear to have known way before that.
I have no idea how they found out, but if I'm honest, I'm not fussed.
I don't mind people knowing as long as they aren't weird about it.
I'm sure nobody's weird about it.
And all my friends are metalheads.
God damn it!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Metalheads are all fucked up, man.
Fuck!
All right, I'll go fucking get a tickle fetish.
So they seem to take these odysseys with a pinch of salt.
Odyssey.
And they never said anything to me directly or
taken the piss or anything.
So it's cool, I guess.
I guess.
I don't know why I told you.
Or anyone.
I feel like you might be a little bit of
an oversharer there, Harabish.
I don't know how they know.
It's a mystery.
By the way, my license plates are BDSM.
So I need to summarize
for you a very long
post that is on
the United Kingdom Tickling Forum
at ticklebritz.co.uk
and that very long post
is titled, Towards a
Marxist Understanding of Tickle
Torture.
Oh yeah. is titled, Towards a Marxist Understanding of Tickle Torture. I'm a
thulchondra, and
I wrote a very long post about
a Marxist understanding of tickle torture, so
let me summarize. Was this your first post?
Is this my first post?
I mean, I kind of assume it is. No, I have 23 of them.
We'll just assume it is. Okay, 23 of them. We'll just assume it is.
Okay, sure, great.
Let's do that.
So Marxism is a tool for understanding the world, right?
It can and should be relentlessly applied to all human activity.
All of it.
Tickling is no exception.
And so I have decided to make an attempt at such an analysis.
There are two things I should make clear first.
Number one, as of this time, I am unfortunately a tickle virgin.
No one will touch me for any reason.
Tickle force loneliness.
It's real.
Struggle is real.
True force mirthlessness This will inevitably impact
On my analysis by drastically
Limiting the available
I don't know anything about this
Let me talk about it
So if he's never been tickled before
How does he know he has a tickling fetish?
Well, he might be Karl Marx.
Well, he's jerked off before.
Maybe he's not even interested in the tickle.
He's just interested in how it relates to Marxism.
That's fair.
He's a scholar.
Nonetheless, I feel this to be a worthwhile exercise.
Hey, Lemon, you summed up the internet in one single sentence.
Boy, I did.
This is his master's thesis.
Just be prepended
onto every forum post ever.
Just make it everyone's signature.
Yeah.
If you should happen to want
to do a little push the revolution
What?
If you should happen want to do
a little push the revolution forwards
Yeah. By all means
see my post in the personal section
or send me a DM.
Did he just say tickle him
to bring on the revolution?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yep. Did he just say, tickle him to bring on the revolution? Yes. Yeah. If you know what it starts on.
Yep.
Yep.
So then I wrote lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of words, and then
I summarized that in conclusion, because that's how you write an essay.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
In conclusion.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're still scrolling, aren't you?
No, I got stuck on the Lee is the proletariat.
But also, the Lur is the proletariat.
Yeah, like right after that.
This is the chapter Karl Marx didn't want you to see.
In conclusion, my tentative Maoist analysis...
Yeah, I started out Marxist, I endedative Maoist analysis is that
both Ler and Li have
experiences similar to those
of people who devote themselves
to the revolution, the
proletariat, and humanity.
So it's like there's no relation
between them.
The Li is the means
of production.
But these experiences are shared between them rather than being experienced in totality by either one.
This suggests that the possibility that communist-minded tickle partners might use tickle torture as an enjoyable method of assisting one another in the struggle for self-cultivation.
But at this point, I shall stop
speculating. It would be
erroneous to start drawing
practical lessons from a tentative, untried
analysis.
What do you mean, erroneous?
Great. Now I can't
disagree with everything you wrote.
Yeah, it's my strategy
whenever I'm writing something to end it with
but what the fuck do I know?
Hey, but I'm just some guy, right?
Hey, I'm just some asshole.
Anybody listening to this episode,
go to thefpl.us
click on the doc for this because this whole fucking thing is amazing.
Yeah.
Work your time.
Yeah.
Yeah, cut for time, but Jesus Christ.
All right, we need to get to a tickle story.
And if you want to discuss this, you can go to Bob.
Yep.
Good job.
You can trail off when you type it in, too.
B-A-L-O-P-I-I-I-I-I-U-L-P dot I don't give a fuck.
Is that available?
As I was saying, we need to get to our tickle experience.
So this is my first tickle experience, F slash M.
It is a story by My First Tickle Experience F slash M. It is a story by
Love to Tickle.
And
Adam, if you'll take this please.
My First Tickle
Experience F or M
by Love to Tickle.
Hi, my name is Jace.
And I have a girlfriend named
Alexa. I thought she was the one for me, but however, she had been keeping one secret.
She liked to tickle people all the time.
I noticed it before because she would try and surprise, tickle me,
and would also tickle me when I was in bed.
Anyways, this was my first tickling experience.
We were sitting down on the sofa watching a movie together.
You know, one of those chick flicks.
Yeah, one of those.
We were making out when she poked my sides.
I jumped.
She looked at me and smiled.
What's with the creppy face, I asked.
Is that British slang?
Your face is so flat in the middle of ham.
It's so creppy.
Too creppy and spoopy.
Is she wearing a crepe?
Nothing.
Just wanted to test something out.
I looked confused.
It's nothing to worry about.
Then she started watching the movie.
She then put her arm
around my shoulder and started to wiggle
her fingers on my neck.
My body reaction to that was
putting my head and should together.
Please, that's not
talk fur.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Was I tickling you?
Uh,
yeah.
There is
something strange going
on with her.
For one hour, she didn't try to make another move on me.
My eyes were coming heavy, so I fell asleep on the sofa.
Gross.
When I woke up, I was on my bed.
How did I come here?
I don't remeber going to bed last night. I looked at the alarm clock next to me and saw that it was 12 o'clock in the morning.
Then noticed that my hands were tied up behind me head.
Also, my feet were tied to the end of my bed.
I looked around, but didn't find Alexa.
Where could she be?
And how did I get here?
Many questions were filling up in my head at once.
I looked at the door and saw Alexa
In a very sexy outfit
I couldn't help it
I was a boy back then
So I couldn't stop looking at her breast
Uh
Yeah you grow out of that
Where you're no longer sexually interested in your partner
Yeah I know
You start to look at both after a while
And then you're like okay I've seen them
Eventually you just start looking at the armpits.
That's a next-level maneuver.
I don't think he's even close to thinking about that.
Yeah, this guy's still a tickle version.
Yeah.
She walked to me slowly until she was at the side of my bed.
Baby, if you don't mind, we are going to have lots of fun tonight.
She said all sexy.
are going to have lots of fun tonight. She said
all sexy.
Alexa then put her
hands on my side and started
tickling it.
I was moving right to left
trying to hold in my laughter.
Come on, baby. Let's
hear that sexy laughter of yours.
My face was getting red.
I tried to move side to side, but
her hands were stuck on my
sides. You didn't try to move.
You're tired to move side to side.
I tired to move side to side, but
her hands were stuck on my sides,
tickling them.
Somehow a giggle escaped.
I closed my eyes, hoping that it would soon
end. She stopped.
Thank God. Let me go, Alexa!
I was getting annoyed.
But we are just having fun,
she said with a creppy smile.
Wait, creppy is a word?
Yes.
No.
According to the Urban Dictionary,
creppy is creepy in a bad way.
Yeah, you know
the seldom
known bad meaning of creepy? in a bad way. Yeah, you know the seldom Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The seldom known bad meaning of creepy.
Right, right, right.
It's too spooky for me.
It's a combination of creepy and crappy.
Because that word needed to exist.
Yeah.
When you're creepy, but you're bad at it.
I couldn't help but to laugh.
Ha ha, ha ha!
I couldn't stop there. I tired moving side to side, but to laugh. Ha ha ha ha! I couldn't stop there.
I tired moving side to side, but they failed.
His tires failed.
Your sides?
Yep.
He forgot to get them rotated after.
Kidney failure.
Kidney failure.
I was stuck to the bed.
She moved her hands down to my waist and then to my penis.
What?
She started to rub it.
That's my most ticklish spot for some reason.
It felt nice.
At last I wasn't laughing.
She was like that for ten minutes.
This story fucking sucks.
What's happening to this thing? It was perfectly
good. I'm getting my penis rubbed and it's
nice.
She was like that for ten minutes until
her hands headed to my knees.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha was Foley of Laughter moving all of the place in panic. There we go.
She continued.
See, aren't you having fun?
Stop! Ha ha ha ha!
I begged.
My misery was making her smile.
Bitch! I managed to say.
Oh, that's not a nice word to say.
She didn't stop.
One of her hand was on my knees and the other was on my sides.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Stop.
I must have looked like a tomato because my face felt all red, I said.
Oh, look how cute you are when you beg.
She then laughed.
I couldn't take this anymore. I had when you beg. She then laughed. I couldn't take this anymore.
I had to get out.
She then stopped.
Finally, I could breath.
I was breathing is heavy right now.
I was all tired.
From side to side, right?
Are you done?
I asked.
She then she put her finger to my lips.
All I want to hear from you is laughter. She then... She put her finger to my lips.
All I want to hear from you is laughter.
I looked at the ropes holding my hands and saw that they were tightly knotted...
Tightly noted.
Didn't you know that a long time ago?
You knew you couldn't move.
I thought I was just stuck to the bed like a glue truck.
That was my impression.
Then my girlfriend glued me to the bed.
Oh, I must have sleep paralysis again.
I took a deep breath.
Will this ever end?
She gently put her finger arm and started wiggling it up and down my arm.
She closer and closer to moo under arms.
Her finger arm?
Yeah. No, I'm typing this as my hands are bound.
Giggles were coming out.
I was so tired that I didn't
want to hold them inside. Once she
got to my underarms, I was moving
all over the place.
Tickle, tickle, tickle,
she said while smiling.
Pluh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Hee-yes!
I tried to pull
an arm my arm.
I tried to put and
pull my arms to break
the rope. Yeah, why did you have difficulty with that sentence?
We still mispronounced tired twice.
Yeah.
Alright, alright.
I'll stop, but only for one thing.
She said while still tickling.
Any ha ha
thing, I screamed.
Only if
I won't, she said in an
evil laugh. Oh my god, twist ending.
End of story.
For some reason.
I'm ticklish tummy.
Oh, hi, ticklish tummy.
What do you have to say?
I want to be tickled.
My tummy is ticklish.
In that cue.
In ticklish tummy cue.
Ticklish tummy.
All right. Thank you. Ticklish, Tommy.
Alright, so there is more than one forum that we're going to be visiting.
This, of course, was ticklebritz.co.uk giving us a very, very sexy and erotic story.
And I am happy to report that it's not the only sexy and erotic story that we will be reading.
But first, we need to get some more,. We need to get some more creative juices flowing.
Get some hot, sexy
and exciting story ideas.
So we're going to be going to
the TMF, the Tickling Media
Forum. It is a place
that is more pornographic
than the previous site we were on.
There's a lot of naked men being
tickled by women who are paid to do that,
because...
Because why not?
Because that was preferable to the other job that they would have booked that day.
So, yes, this is the Tickling Media Forum,
and my name is Solar Charger.
I'm a TMF novice.
So, tickled by burglars fantasy.
Just curious, but did anyone else ever have a fantasy about getting tied up and tickled by a burglar?
I had this fantasy while growing up.
Someone would break into the house, tie up my mom, and tickle her feet to get info as to where the valuables were kept.
Yeah.
What?
No, I don't have any issues at all.
You seem legit.
Wow.
Yeah, so let me make this just a little bit worse.
I enjoyed this fantasy all the way into my teenage years.
Yay!
Ow.
Jack Chick, what does Alicia Tickles think of this?
Alicia
Oh well I love this fantasy
Major favorite of mine
It's my fantasy
I normally get tied to a chair and forced to watch burglars tickle my older sister
Jenny Tickles
Oh of course
You guys are selling videos I'm sure
Normally one burglar would be holding her arms firmly above her head
while the other tickled her armpits and knees.
She'd be calling for my help, which would never come.
Hee hee hee hee hee hee, emoticon.
Hey, the Tickle Sisters are from St. Paul.
St. Paul Tickle Sisters, they do two shows a night.
Victor, what does Soda Bobinsky think of this thread?
Oh my god, Soda Bobinsky?
Yeah, Soda Bobinsky is into George Carlin and giggling.
I was not expecting George Carlin at all.
Soda Bobinsky, level of blueberry feather.
I once considered a career in tickle burglarism.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Burglarism?
Yeah. Yeah.
I ended up just defaulting to regular burglarism.
Turns out the tickle doesn't really pay extra.
No added value there.
You don't laugh as much.
Okay, so another thread here.
This is called How Would You Tickle Me?
I'll get this thing started.
I'm Ticklish Ginger.
I'm a bit of a mix.
And I'm an 18-year-old redheaded girl living in Iowa.
I'm just wondering why I picked that persona.
How would you tickle me if you had the chance?
The more intricate the answer, the better, Winky Face.
And Boots, Power Slide X?
I have a special treatment for redheads.
Evil, Winky Face.
Sure.
Tight restraints, many techniques.
No ball gags, though.
Of course.
I want to hear you scream!
I would start off easier just to feel you out.
Then when I found out what makes you tick,
then, my dear,
destruction will be yours.
Yay!
Why is it that
everything
that men, like pornography
that's aimed at men is all about
destroying women, destroying
all, like,
right? Have you guys noticed this?
Yeah. I don't know. I don't
look at porn.
Oh, yeah.
Victor doesn't look at porn.
Porn?
What is this porn you speak of?
I don't know.
It just reminds me of those guys who are trying to stretch their penises into clubs of just
like, it's going to cause ultimate destruction.
My favorite thing about porn is we have a title that says, it's okay, comma, and then
something that's very not okay.
It's like, it's okay, he's my stepfather.
No, he's not.
Anyway.
It's okay, I didn't know this was being filmed.
I have to tell you, I am thorough and relentless.
You would either love me or hate me after it is over,
but from the enthusiasm in your pose,
I'm betting you will love me in every second of it.
What do you think?
I'm betting I won't.
What do you think?
I bet your dick stinks.
Yeah, I think your dick stinks.
I think you got a shitty dick.
Well, my name is C7 Assassin, and I think...
I'd tickle you after convincing your father and the rest of the town council to allow the seniors to have their dance after all.
This is footloose?
No, something's loose hey Victor
yes
do you have some sort of problem
I know that you've got this girl
and you love the girl
she's a terrific girl
and you love everything about her
are you having some sort of problem with the girl that you have?
Yeah, I'm Zach Simas.
I'm a registered user, and I have this problem.
Hello, guys.
I am dating this girl, and we are getting along pretty well.
She is beautiful, intelligent, polite, and really kind to me,
which is the most important for me
I like girls that like me
This sounds great
You have a person with empathy
So yeah
But yesterday I went to her house
And got to see her bare feet for the first time
And I noticed her feet are somewhat
Ugly
Her big toes are longer than her other toes.
Oh, no!
What?
Wait, what?
So are mine.
Well, Adam, you have ugly feet.
Well, that wouldn't be a problem for a normal guy.
But I have a huge foot fetish.
I love tickling and worshipping girls' feet.
I could spend hours at a girl's feet doing that.
and worshipping girls' feet.
I could spend hours at a girl's feet doing that. To me,
female feet are as sexy or even
more sexy than her breasts or butt.
But her feet did not arouse
me. Probably because of her
big toes, since her other toes are
really cute and normal.
Please, what should I do? Any
advices? Get off the fucking internet.
Get over yourself. No, you have to cut
the fucking toes off, guys. That's the only fucking solution. Oh, yeah, you're right. That's the fucking internet. Get over yourself. No, you have to cut the fucking toes off, guys.
That's the only fucking solution.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
That's the other option.
You just have to cut them off.
You could sand them down.
Good point.
Good point.
Think outside the box, Bozarth.
I like it.
You're up for a promotion this year.
Any advices?
Did any of you ever had this kind of situation?
No.
Please, any enlightenment and opinion are welcome.
Thank you all in advance.
I assume that's a Final Fantasy picture.
Picture of Final Fantasy?
Yes.
Something.
Might as well be.
Excuse me, that's Zach from Final Fantasy VII?
Thanks, Frank West.
That's weird.
She's cool, but she doesn't have a Morton's toe, and I can't stand that.
Whatever.
And then, Frank West, on page four there, post number 50 is by master underscore D underscore 68.
Yep.
Is there any way
we could see her feet
they might not be
that bad
absolutely the next logical question
anyway
I can't believe it took 50 posts to get there
so
uh
jack chick
yes
would you like to read the thread entitled,
Is Hypnotic Tickling Possible?
Okay.
There's like four question marks.
Or would you like to read a poem modeled after
Twas the Night Before Christmas?
Oh, my God.
That's...
Oh.
Usually these questions are easy.
That's fucking brutal.
That's Sophie's choice right there.
I have to go with poetry, though.
I'm such a fan of the arts.
Okay, great.
This comes after, in the document that Caroline put together,
this comes right after another poem,
which is to the tune of Hi Ho by Snow White.
And it goes, Hi ho, hi ho, the stocking's got to go.
They may be sexier than a stock and feel very nice against my cock.
You get great.
No, no, sorry.
That clearly says fuck.
Okay, you're right.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Anyway, so Jack Chick, if you'll take this Twas the Night Before Christmas poem, which...
Oh, and it's in red.
It's festive.
Yeah, it should be half in red and half in green.
Hi, I'm Dimple Toes.
I'm a third level indigo feather.
Twas the night before Christmas I got this in an email from Kelly
And he asked me to post it for him in here
Line doesn't really work very well
Twas the night before Christmas
And God it was neat
The kids were both gone
And my wife was in heat
All the doors
The doors were all bolted and flown off the hook.
It was time for some nookie by hook or by crook.
Mom in her teddy...
I am not a pervert.
I am a real man.
Mom in her teddy...
What?
And I in the nude had just
Keep going, goddammit.
had just hit the bathroom
and reached for the lube.
Oh, god.
Bedroom.
It doesn't matter, Boots.
It doesn't matter.
Went out on the lawn
and there rose such a cry
that I lost my boner
and mama went dry.
Oh, my lord.
You bastards.
You bastards.
This was written in a semi-truck.
That's the best rhyme we've ever had.
There's no doubt about this was written in a semi-truck.
Hey, keep it down.
You're drying out my mom's pussy.
No, you're drying out mother's pussy. You're drying out mother's pussy. No, you're drying up
mother's pussy.
You're drying up
mother's pussy.
Oh, father, I don't
know.
The pussy's gone dry
after that fright.
All right, keep
going.
Up to the window, I
sprang like an elf,
tore back the shade
while she played with
herself.
The moon was so bright that it lit up the yard.
The place was a mess.
Something hit it real hard.
It was my cock.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a crooked old slayin' ain't mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver half out his sled, a sock in his
ear, and a bra on his head.
Well, that's the craziest thing that's
happened in this poem so far.
I feel like I know where
this story is going.
Oh, I don't. This is a mystery to me.
Sure, as I'm speaking,
he was high as a kite, and he
yelled to his team, but it didn't
sound right. Whoa, shithead!
Whoa, asshole! Whoa, stupid!
Whoa, putz! Fucking slow
down or I'll cut off your nuts!
You think you're so fucking
clever. My dad's in this poem.
Which one is he?
I didn't know you had that many brothers.
Wait, I
don't.
Asshole's the dog.
I see.
Over the lamppost.
No, no, no, no, no.
This is too unpleasant to read this much.
My favorite F-plus trope.
No, we can't read all of this.
Start from the fourth from last paragraph.
Jack-Jack, please take the stanza that starts with the cock ring.
Capital goods a lemon.
A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil.
And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.
This stuff ain't for kids.
Mrs. Santa would shit.
If you don't mind, I'll leave it all here when I split.
Santa's just walking around with these sex toys and he has to unload them.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Down the sleigh.
It's the one night a year he gets out of the house.
That's a pretty big deal, though.
He's shedding ballast to ensure that the reindeer can take off again.
Right.
He filled every stocking and then took his leave
with one tiny butt plug tucked
under his sleeve. He sprang
to his sleigh, but his feet were
like lead, and he fell on his buttocks
and broke wind instead.
Oh, he farted.
I'm still imagining the butt plug under the sleeve.
I was going to say that, too,
but I guess for these armpit freaks.
It's like cigarettes.
You roll them up.
Oh, I see.
You roll them up.
So he's like plugging up his armpit.
Yeah, when I saw he fell on his butt,
I thought he was actually going to fall on the butt plug
and get it stuck in there.
No, but because it's under his feet.
And we'd have some wacky hijinks to get that out.
With his pants?
Yeah, we could have like seven more stanzas.
It'd be great.
Well, we skipped a bunch.
Maybe his pants are off.
I don't know.
He cursed and got up and climbed into his hitch.
Let's go, you varmints.
The night's been a bitch.
The shutterangler slammed him back in his chair,
and he let out a belch as they took to the air.
Bending the lamppost and raking the tree, he bounced off a rooftop and finally got three.
I'm coming home, woman, he sang with his spurt.
So grab both your ankles and pull up your skirt.
So Jack Check, do you think you chose the right piece?
Yes.
That was terrible.
And reading up, it's still terrible.
You happy with the option that you took there?
Yeah.
All right.
I think I've almost got enough inspiration for another story, but I'm not quite there yet.
So I dare you.
I dare you to think of the craziest tickling scenario you can imagine.
So I have a pretty
fucked up mind, so I could go on forever,
and that's why I'm multiple people.
Tickled by a machine that only tickles you when you laugh,
but you laugh and it tickles you harder.
Okay.
Being completely paralyzed
and having my feet tickled.
Pretty crazy. That's pretty unusual.
Yeah, that's nuts. Three, being spread eagle-tied and gang- feet tickled. Pretty crazy. That's pretty unusual. Yeah, that's nuts.
Three being spread eagle-tied and gang-tickled.
Two people per each foot.
One person per knee. One person
per thigh. One person on the
crotch. One per each
side. One per each side
of ribs. One per neck.
One per underarm and one
on the neck. It's getting a little crowded in here. One per underarm and one on the neck.
It's getting a little crowded in here.
Two per underarm.
There's only one on each side, so the other one's on a ladder, or they're floating.
No, this guy requires a fucking PowerPoint presentation to organize his tickling fetish.
This is my tickling org chart.
There are 11 people around this guy.
Wait until he discovers people of two hands.
Oh, Lord.
One per nipple.
Okay, tickling scenario number four.
Buying a pair of over-ankle slippers that, when put on,
lock themselves to your feet and tickle like mad.
Fantasy.
Oh, so not in real life. The first three were real life things that are going to happen.
Number four, I don't know, tickle shoes.
Number five.
Being mummified by a very long, thick duvet and having my feet tickled for two hours.
Precisely.
Fantasy.
No longer or shorter.
Fantasy.
Number six.
Being tickled psychically.
Not fantasy.
There's no fantasy tag.
That's a real one.
Right.
Yep.
Number eight.
They bring back
the stocks as a punishment.
I'm framed for something.
The whole town
lines up
waiting
to tickle my feet.
So it's important
that you're innocent of this crime, right?
You're like the A-team of tickling?
No, I totally don't deserve this.
Number nine, walking through a toy shop
when all the toys come alive
and become obsessed with tickling.
Of course!
Nothing better than a rock.
It's so simple!
Also note, this one is also not fantasy.
It might be the craziest one so far, though.
I like when a model train rams into my feet and that somehow tickles them.
Sure.
Number ten, being abducted by aliens and being the subject of experiments on the physiology of nerve endings.
This includes every type of tickling.
It's kind of altruism.
This is for greater understanding.
Yeah.
Number 11, going in for an operation.
Instead, I am just tickled while stuck in the hospital.
Ah, my face!
Guys, guys, I really need a lung transplant.
Yeah, I know you do, motherfucker.
Also.
Is your appendix going to burst?
Is it?
Whee!
On a slightly different tack, number 12, being tickled for my health.
It's like drinking a glass of brandy a day.
It's just, you know. Also changing
tact, Jack Chick.
Number thirteen,
get sentenced to death by tickling!
Is there
anything it can't do?
No.
Nope.
Number fourteen, dying and getting my feet tickled for all eternity in the No. Nope. Number 14.
Dying and getting my feet tickled for all eternity in the afterlife.
Not only a life of tickling, but an afterlife of tickling as well.
Oh, it's the room they didn't go in in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Mm-hmm.
Number 14. in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Oh, yeah, of course. Number 15,
waking up as Mercy Mew
in the Low Road Saga.
I don't know what that means.
Yeah, I have no idea what that means.
Is that an anime?
Yes, definitely.
All right, that's one for my bingo card.
And mine probably is too,
placed in all of Scavenger's tickling machines in turn.
All right, great.
Terrific.
Wonderful.
That seems like something good to Google.
Oh, it's a...
That one's a fantasy, by the way.
Yeah, it's a fantasy.
It's a fantasy, yeah.
But getting sentenced to death by tickling is not.
Number 17.
Ghosts haunt my house
trap me on my bed tickle me as a
punishment for living here that's the
best they can think of that's almost a
haiku until he screwed it up number 18
my girlfriend must find something in
seven days
All the time she is gone I am gang tickled
It's the best episode
of 24 ever
That's a season
No that's seven seasons
I want to be tickled for seven seasons of 24.
That would be some compelling TV, really.
That would actually make that better.
Number 19.
Wake up in a mansion as some millionaire's tickle slave.
Okay.
One day I dream to be rich enough to have my own tickle slave.
Oh good, I finally get a good one.
Number 20.
Falling in a big vat of cement all the way up to my neck.
The builders chip away the cement so that my feet are free.
They go on a lunch break.
Two dogs run up and lick my feet.
Now what about that was a good one, Victor?
That was better than...
up and lick my feet.
Now what about that was a good one, Victor?
That was better than getting completely
paralyzed and having my feet tickled.
I don't know. I'm pretty sure that was
becoming completely paralyzed and having your feet tickled.
To be
fair, I didn't read it before I said that.
Well, you think we're done, but we're not.
Because after finishing
that post, there's a couple more posts, and then Wishfoot88 comes back and gets a couple more.
So, Boots, take it from number one.
Oh, my God.
I'd just like to say that I looked it up, and Low Roads and Scavenger are both people on this forum.
Ah, of course.
Okay.
Anyway.
Oh, okay.
I've got a couple more.
One, having your feet
tied up with string
attached to the toes.
Okay.
So that when you laugh
and scrunch your toes,
you pull the strings.
The string controls
the tickling device
on another person.
So saw.
And so on and so forth.
No, I think I like this more.
It's feather.
Number two.
Four people mummy-
Fuck that.
Number two.
Four people mummy-wrapped, but with their arms free.
They are all arranged in a square on their sides.
Each person has the person in front of them's feet near their face.
If your feet are tickled, then you must tickle the feet in front of you.
Why?
So human centipede.
Then all it would take would be one person to give in to the temptation to set off an entire tickling chain.
Boy, now they're all tied together.
I just can't resist tickling your feet.
Yeah, if you were kidnapped and just tied to other people,
your first impulse...
Oh my god, I don't want to die here.
Not only would your first impulse be to tickle somebody else's feet,
but if your feet were tickled, you'd go like,
oh my god, now I clearly have to tickle somebody else's feet.
There's no other reaction to that happening.
Please, I don't want to die.
The person behind them, tickle you, pass it on.
The telephone game of tickling.
They're her rules.
Listen.
Okay, fine.
Here, something believable is about to happen.
Number three.
The public fall victim to a virus that makes them want to tickle people.
A quarter of the population is immune and become the tickle slaves of the rest.
It's like that movie Congo.
It's exactly like the movie Congo.
You saw the movie Congo? I did. Yeah, it's exactly like the movie Congo. You saw the movie Congo?
I did.
Yeah, it's just like that.
You don't need to see it now.
Number four.
Every tickle fucking semicolon?
Anyways.
Story, artwork, image you have ever looked at becomes true and you are the Lee.
I don't know why you're confused by the semicolon.
This enumerated list is number
and then a comma afterwards.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, that's...
No, totally. That represents a complete
clause. So, I mean, the semicolon...
Fuck this
goddamn page.
Number five.
Everything I have said happens to me
and I start a true tickling story with
you will never believe what happened
to me. No, I won't.
Dear
tickling forum.
It actually works.
Fucking hell.
Almost as though you have
experience with this, Boots.
Six.
Your watch a tickling video.
When you blink, you are suddenly the Lee.
Of course.
Yeah.
Number seven.
Your body become paralyzed.
The only way to treat you is tickling.
Number nine.
You're in the sea when an octopus's tentacles wrap around your wrists and ankles.
It then calls on all the other sea creatures to tickle you.
All of them.
There's a line that wraps around the planet four times.
Goddamn fucking Aquaman.
Fuck.
Number ten,
your computer picks up on what you were looking
at and comes alive.
It starts sending messages to everyone in your
area to come to your house and tickle you
beyond belief. Of course.
So the computer wore tennis shoes.
And tickled me.
With the tennis shoes.
If my computer picks up on what
I'm looking at, it's going to kill itself.
All right.
So that's the end of that post by Wishfoot, which means that it's time for another post by Wishfoot.
Yeah!
All right, Jack Chick, take it.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I do a couple more.
Number one, you are walking through the park with thousands of ants
swarm around you and carry you off to their nest.
They begin to swarm all over your body, tickling as they go!
Yeah, like ants do, sure.
It's pretty ant-like behavior.
Number two, when you die,
you find out that for every sin you have committed,
you shall be tickled for a year.
Why do I get all the ones about dying?
Number three.
You're fighting in a war when you get captured.
The enemy tickles your feet for information.
Boy, I had no idea you were going there.
I could not see that coming.
Major plot twist.
Nothing sexier than fighting a war.
It's a shame we've been ramping up until now.
Okay, number four.
You go to a salon for a tan.
You get stuck in the tanning bed with your feet sticking out the end.
While you wait for the maintenance guy to turn up.
Does the staff tickle your feet?
Of course!
Listen, we'll get you out in a couple hours, but first, tickle-a-tickle-a-tickle-a!
I'm really jealous of Frank West for this one.
The human race lands on a new planet.
Oh my god.
The planet is the same as Earth, just with no known life.
The first crew to arrive walk through the planet and are suddenly ambushed.
Tentacles erupt from the
ground and wrap around the crew and
strip them of their clothes.
Oh my gosh, what's going to happen to them?
No one knows what happened to them, but if you
tune into their mobile communications devices,
then all you can hear is
laughter.
Okay, okay.
In space, someone can hear you laugh.
Hold on.
Before you continue, it's the H-E-R-E.
So, like, if you're going to have, like, a goods manufacturing plant there,
then the only thing you could possibly can there is laughter.
All right.
But, no, I can build on that one.
Okay, so that was number five, but here comes number six.
Every time you think of tickling, you get tickled in the exact way that you imagined.
That is the 36th thing he thought of.
Yeah, I did that and I backspaced tickling.
He had 35 other ideas before he thought of. Yeah, I did that and I backspaced tickling! He had
35 other ideas before he
thought of that. Yeah, but 37,
dude, this is gonna fucking blow your
mind. Great, cool.
You develop
superpowers that can
only be activated.
My tickling.
I mean, I guess that's better than
shouting Shazam.
Tickle on!
Number eight.
Aliens invade Earth.
One by one,
they take people off
into the mothership for
quote-unquote harvesting.
They harvest the
laughter from tickled humans!
Oh, yes, of course.
Wow.
Number nine.
You dress up as a knight for the Renaissance Fair and fall over.
People start taking your armored boots off and tickle your feet.
And scene.
That's relatable, nerds!
Number ten.
Everyone you have ever pissed off
gangs up and tickles you forever.
Is that good or bad?
Oh my god!
Number eleven.
You get some antidepressant pills
that turn into tiny robots
that trap you in a ticklish area
and tickle away.
What?
What?
This is the, yes, it's the Grey Goo
tickling scenario. I feel like that would actually
piss me off.
What the?
Oh, man.
That's one of those ones that lets on
a lot more about the poster than he realizes.
Well, we're gonna have to
prescribe you antidepressant tickling pills.
Think of the antidepressant as a tiny
little robot that tickles your brain.
And feet.
And side.
And side.
And now Wishfoot 88 is dead from an overdose.
Have you read
Wishfoot 88's next post?
I got, I got, oh, is there?
He has one more post right after it, and it's just one idea.
For fuck's sake.
Okay, what's that?
Should I read the whole thing?
Okay.
Oh, no.
No, there's a short one after that.
Just read the first line.
It's like Final Destination.
Good enough.
Yep.
But with tickling, by the way.
The next one is whoever you look at feels tickled all over,
I would need a mirror.
Get it?
Because then I'm looking at myself and I'm tickled.
What I'm saying is I'm masturbating.
Someone tickle me.
Tickle on the arms.
Please.
Okay.
We got one more choice that we need to make
and that choice
belongs to
Adam
alright Adam
two different threads both on the tickling media forum
the first thread is called
did your first orgasm
involve tickling too
abort abort abort the second thread is called your first orgasm involved tickling too?
Abort, abort, abort.
The second thread is called,
do like getting raspberry on your stomach.
That one.
Yeah, that one, please.
You like that one?
See, I want the first one, but okay.
That wasn't your choice.
I'll go with the group.
Because with the first one, the obvious answer is yes.
Everybody's just going, yeah, of course.
It's that headline rule where if there's a question mark, the answer is always yes.
All right, well, you're hyper ticklish, and I have a question for you there.
I hate, do you like getting raspberry on your stomach?
I hate when people give me raspberry on stomach and belly button.
BC tickles like hell and turns me on a little bit. on your stomach? I hate when people give me raspberry on stomach and belly button. BC
tickles like hell and turns
me on a little bit.
Sometimes do like
when get raspberry
on my stomach, but it depends
what mood I am in.
So, cool story.
Huh.
So you hate it?
Or is it like a like-hate?
Sometimes do like.
Sometimes do like.
It depends on what mood I am in.
I am hyper ticklish.
I hate it.
Kind of gives me the paranoid thought of other people in the room thinking about your farting.
And it annoys me like hell.
But my boyfriend loves it and does
it every chance he gets.
And Bootsy, you're Vali.
I'm Vali. Maybe I'm
Lee from the Valley.
Yeah, probably.
I love getting raspberries!
Yum. Woo! From the valley. Yeah, probably. I love getting raspberries!
Yum.
Woo!
Spring break!
I feel like I've used that voice for half of this.
Anyway.
It's like the hottest thing ever.
Combination of the tickling and the fart sound is lousy.
Wow.
You go to jail.
Yeah.
You should mature emotionally at some point.
That would probably be.
But you didn't like all those words I said there?
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
All right.
Well, fine.
I am finally ready, finally ready for our final story.
And that story is called Tickled After Death.
Okay, great.
It is longer than it needs to be, but that's okay because we're going to skip some.
So, let's see. Victor, if you'll start off.
What's the name of the author of this?
What is your name there, Victor?
My name is Mr. Legbrat.
That's Mr. Legbrat to you.
Mr. Legbrat.
Please, my father was Mr. Legbrat.
Mark's wife couldn't make him laugh anymore.
Thirty years ago, when they first met just after he graduated from college,
she excited him so by indulging in his greatest fetish.
What do you guys think that might be?
She was a beautiful hillbilly.
What?
A Lil Abner type of woman
who often did... What?
What? Lil Abner.
So she had, like,
black hair that's stuck up in a point?
This is...
This is already a more absurd
visual than all of those, like, muck episodes we did. and a point? This is already a more absurd visual
than all of those
muck episodes we did.
She was a beautiful hillbilly.
A Lil Abner type
of woman who often did wear blue jean
cutoffs that revealed the bottom part
of her large, smooth, rounded
buttocks.
Mark,
a college professor with a in astrophysics, Oh yeah, take that. him into hysterical laughing fits that caused him to feel foolish.
It became a regular routine which they engaged in at least once a month,
setting a special time in a special
closet they kept for that
purpose.
Time to go.
Hey baby, you wanna go to the fuck closet?
He's got a walk-in
fuck closet.
I'll take it.
Tell me no more.
Well, tell me, does it have in-unit laundry?
Dude, it's got a lock-in fuck closet.
What more do you want?
But gradually over the years,
Mark came to trust his wife completely,
becoming so relaxed that her tickling didn't work
and she could no longer make him laugh.
Oh, you stupid hillbilly woman.
So they abandoned the game.
Oh, no!
Mark missed being forced to laugh and lose control.
One afternoon, he had his wife tie him down and tickle him for the first time in years.
Although she tickled him thoroughly and
all over his body, Mark
didn't so much as flinch.
Does he kill himself?
He wished he could be 25 again, the age
when Melanie first... Oh my god, she
gets a name? What the fuck?
This is pretty
much Lolita, isn't it? At that age,
an old, sexy woman like Melanie
would have driven him crazy.
But now, it was nothing more than routine
foreplay.
He suggested to Melanie that she seduce
the neighbor's teenage boy
so that he could watch her tickle torture
him and get vicarious enjoyment
out of that. Great!
But she thought he was joking
and didn't seriously consider it.
Hoped. Hoped.
Hoped.
So Mark's looking for some expert advice on the right way to tickle.
And an expert tickler comes to the door.
So Jack, check if you can pick it up from, as you know from our correspondence.
Alrighty.
As you know from our correspondence, I am an expert tickler.
I guarantee your money back if I can't make you laugh.
That has never happened to me in 2,394 sessions.
Whoa.
Approximately.
We better agree on a safe word Because you will need it
Oh boy
Auntie
Auntie? That's interesting
Do you have an aunt fantasy?
Well no, that's not how safe words work
Mark stared at Miss Chelsea's
Big naked breasts
His erection raging
She kicked off her sandals Actually A second cousin Oh, fuck.
What is with you, Tickle people?
God damn it.
Oh, hey, look.
We're back on Tickle Brits UK.
It's totally unprecedented.
The British have fucked up fantasies.
Anyways.
Okay, strip.
I'm going to change into work clothes.
I'll be right back.
Work clothes.
All right, good.
Mark took his clothes off.
Yeah, she's going to put on clothes.
That's how this works.
Mark took his clothes off and hung them on a hanger.
Ms. Chelsea returned,
a costume consisting of a tight black girdle,
flesh-colored pantyhose,
white spiked heels,
and a red handkerchief
that she wore around her face like a
bandit. What?
The tickle bandit, Coochie Coo!
She directed Mark
to a vertical board with clamps
for his wrists and ankles.
Showed him how he could manipulate it
so that she could have him right-side up
or upside down.
So then some longish
explanation about
being tied down and a little bit
of foretickling, I'm
going to call it.
And then Jack's just picking up at she stopped
the neck. She stopped the
neck and chest caressing, much to
Mark's relief, and she walked around the room. She stopped the neck and chest caressing, much to Mark's relief, and she walked around
the room. Mark's eyes followed
her, glued to her big boobs.
She walked behind him where
he couldn't see her and caressed his neck and
chest again. Mark jerked
at her soft touch. She whispered
in his ear,
Does that tickle?
I would assume so.
Mark smiled, the laughter building inside again.
Does this tickle?
She asked again in a whisper.
Mark struggled not to laugh.
Does that tickle?
Finally, Mark burst out laughing.
Yes! Yes!
He said with joy at being forced to laugh.
Wait, I don't believe you because the words ha ha ha ha ha ha ha weren't in quotes.
I told you you were ticklish.
She tickled his underarms, and Mark resumed laughing.
Ms. Chelsea reached down and tickled his belly.
Coochie coochie coo.
She said in a baby-talking voice.
Okay, okay, skip a little bit.
Mark gets a handjob with a thumb in his ass.
She tickled his stomach.
Yay!
So then, what happens next is the thing that always happens after somebody gives you a handjob,
which is that his grade school teacher comes in the room.
is that his grade school teacher comes in the room.
So Frank West, pick it up from his teacher, Mrs. Shepard.
His teacher, Mrs. Shepard, ignored his nakedness and ordered him to sit at his desk.
She placed a word problem test on his desk.
Mark, what?
There's nothing hotter than that.
Again, we're in a
British site.
Oh, yeah, right. No, that's probably normal there.
Then he stared at her bum as she
graded his quiz.
Mark watched
Miss Shepard walk, and
as it used to, it gave him
an erection.
She wore tight green
capri pants that couldn't hide
her big, jiggly, sexy ass.
Caprix pants.
I just assumed that was a British spelling.
I for once gave him the benefit of the doubt.
No, I think that's just an idiot spelling.
There's a difference. Look it up.
It's a grand prix pants that
don't go all the way down.
Answer the questions correctly, or I'll tickle you, she said.
Yeah, I know the rules.
Mark looked down at the test, and the first one stumped him.
His brain frustratingly tried to figure it out and failed.
He put the wrong answer down.
She marked through it with a red pen.
Wrong.
Tickle, tickle, tickle, she said as she approached him.
Is this a multiple choice test?
Does this happen every time he fills in a
bubble?
Mark ran
out of the room.
He's gonna fill in this tickle-tron
sheet.
With a number tickle
pencil.
With a non-bar-teckle pencil.
Miss Shepard followed him down the hallway.
Mark opened another door and found himself in bed with Lori.
Yeah, right.
Okay, yeah, sure. The fat blonde he dated before he met his wife.
They were having sex on her bed in her apartment,
and words came out his mouth
he couldn't control.
He confessed that he wanted her to tickle him.
Several days passed in a flash,
as if he had lived them,
working his own job while attending
college classes as a student.
Attending college classes as a student.
Right. Attending college classes as a student.
Those days just fly by when you're working and going to college.
Yeah.
Real quick.
The best years of your life.
Somehow, Mark knew he was going to find out what would have happened if he had continued seeing Lori.
He found himself on the couch in her apartment watching television.
What a fantasy!
This fantasy involves several days of going to college.
Hey, I'll watch the TV in somebody else's fucking apartment!
Lori sat next to him,
while her mother laid a plate of appetizers on the coffee table in front of them.
Her mother had a plain face and wore glasses,
but her body was a perfect 36-24.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
All right, let's get sexy with Lori's mother.
Take it.
Only if she's 5'3".
Thanks, Lemon.
You're welcome.
Lori tells me you want to be tickled.
Are you ticklish?
Lori held his arms while her mother tickled him.
Of course. Mark laughed and writhed, helpless
before mother and her daughter.
Eventually he escaped, running into the hallway,
barely avoiding the grasping arms
of the giant woman, and dodging
past Mrs. Shepard with Lori
and her mother in pursuit.
He entered another door and found
himself in a wrestling match with an attractive
Amazon.
It was real wrestling, complete with referees, judges, and an audience in a gym.
She dominated Mark, rendering him helpless in various grips and tickling him an unbearable feel-niggy.
Time was odd in the afterlife. It seemed like days before Mark escaped back into the hallway
to be chased by the denizens of the other rooms he had freed.
Why doesn't Mark like being tickled?
I think Mark likes to protest too much.
Okay.
He keeps running from it.
So when does he die?
No, he's dead.
This is fucking Jacob's Ladder.
I can't believe you haven't figured this out yet. Yeah. He died when we skipped it. So when does he die? No, he's dead. This is fucking Jacob's Ladder. I can't believe you
haven't figured this out yet.
Yeah.
He died when we skipped it.
Oh, did he actually die
during that skip part?
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like he might have died
because I feel like
it's a boring setup.
This guy's dead
and now the tickle expert
comes to torture him.
I feel like I might have died.
Oh, yeah, no.
His heart literally stops
in the middle of sex.
Oh, of course.
Okay.
While he's having a seagull feather stroking his ass.
I wish I could say that makes it make more sense, but...
No, it doesn't help.
No.
Mm-mm.
So I think we're at the point where the author of the story is, like, just finished.
Yep.
And just needs to spew out the rest of her ideas.
Great, great.
His ideas all in one paragraph.
So he opened other doors and was temporarily captured by Wonder Woman and her golden lasso.
Nurses conducting unusual medical procedures.
Coeds disputing grades.
A voluptuous barber going crazy with her shaving brush.
Brush, sorry.
Works either way.
His secretary and
her dexterous toenails. A tennis
slut and her tricky bondage bet.
Buy the unrated version
for all these deleted scenes.
Download the Afterlife DLC now.
An angry woman demanding ass worship.
Martian woman inspecting homo sapiens.
A woman's mental hospital.
A leotard model.
A crazy cat burglar who really wants to steal his socks.
I would have wrote this shit, but I already came.
Yeah, exactly.
A Russian spy getting him
to reveal the secret formula.
A genie, a she-devil...
An ocean, a boat!
A she-angel...
A trash can!
Other things that are in my room!
Hey, hey, hey, Lemon,
you're about to get the twist ending here.
Okay, good.
Can you just hold the fuck on?
And Mark couldn't ever figure out
whether he was in heaven or
hell.
The end!
Okay, so the twist ending actually
sucked. Go on. It really makes you think.
Then,
Adam, what did you think of the story?
By which I mean dazed.
This is
really interesting. Why hasn't
anyone replied yet?
Well, firstly, I liked your observation that if we're really relaxed, then we feels less ticklish.
And your description of his visit to the tickling dominatrix was great.
What a lovely description of the way she worked and how he reacted to different type of touch.
And then, uh, what, read a little bit of your signature
if you would, please. Sure.
Thanks. Wild Witch
on FetLife, where I run the
UK Women into Tickling group
and help moderate UK Tickling group.
Femme lesbian who enjoys
tickling with the right people.
Mostly a lee, but will
lure if switchy play
occurs. Willing to lure if Switchy Play occurs.
Switchy Play.
Willing to Skype.
Switchy woman.
How do you tickle over Skype?
Very carefully.
It goes kind of like this.
Oh my god, that's the best.
What kind of socks are you wearing?
What kind of socks aren't you wearing?
So, F+, what did we learn from this very British episode?
That Britain isn't fucked up in any way, shape, or form.
There's a lot of secrets.
The British folks had a lot more to do with their families.
Hey, Victor, how many people did you find searching plenty of
fish for people that are into tickling?
At minimum, 30 pages.
30 pages, yes.
My favorite is
the second guy who was looking for more than just
friends.
Anything else that we learned from this?
This was like, as far as fetish goes, it's nice. Anything else that we learned from this? I like, like this,
this was like,
as far as fetish goes,
it's probably the mildest
of the ones
that we've covered.
Sort of.
It still gets pretty incesty
like all the time.
Yeah, I guess weird
That's just Britain
though, I'm saying.
and British.
But like,
like they don't,
you know,
they're not,
the tickling act itself
is never
as nearly as grotesque as every other fetish we've ever done.
That's an interesting point.
Yeah, because it doesn't, it doesn't seem to accelerate.
Like, unlike so many other fetish communities, these guys kind of stay on message, you know what I mean?
It's all about the tickling and the circumstances.
They're into the tickling.
You notice that all of them describe all of their fantasies,
and almost none of them were like, I get tickled by a really hot girl.
It's like, I get tickled in this really specific situation.
I guess the thing about this one is it's a fetish that's entirely based on a sense of touch. There's no way to incorporate horrible smells and
horrible sights and horrible fluids
into the process of this.
Because those
all get in the way of the actual tickling.
I guess you could... There may be descriptions
about a girl with
bunions
or planner's warts.
Yeah, but those are things that would
numb the sensation of the tickling, so they'd
get in the way of it. It's no good.
Yeah.
I don't...
Yeah, I mean, so, presumably
the... I mean, the people
that we read seemed to be into...
I think, entirely,
the people that we read were all into being
tickled, right?
Well, I mean, I think entirely the people that we read were all into being tickled, right? Well, I mean, I think we read kind of a broad scope of it.
But yeah, I think it was more focused around the Lees than the Lures.
I mean, I think it was just really elucidating going through that one dude just posting all of his fantasies.
And all of them were essentially like, you know, some random ass setup happens and sometimes it's really complicated,
but then I get tickled!
It's just like, oh.
So it doesn't actually matter.
It seems like in most fetishes,
they're always looking for some sort of novelty.
But like, tickling is tickling.
So they pretty much just have to come up
with these huge elaborate settings
that don't really have anything to do with the tickling.
I've learned that if we wanted to get secrets
out of our prisoners in Guantanamo Bay,
we probably should have just tickled them.
I mean, I would have approved that method.
Yeah.
That would have been one of those government scandals
that would be kind of nice to learn.
Did you hear what we did?
We tickled those people.
Okay. Could you imagine
Keith Olbermann's big
swollen head going like, how dare you
Mr. Bush tickle these people
within an inch of their life?
And you just go, you're insane.
That could never happen. That's not happening.
Yeah, that's too ridiculous.
And why are we so safe all of a sudden?
Yeah, they totally get away with it.
The website is always thfpl.us.
It's a new site with a new rhythm and a new hard boner like sites like that.
And if you want to be tickled silly, come to Ball Pit.
Yeah, we're going to tickle your balls in pits.
So it's going to be in armpits.
Yeah, it's going to be in armpits. Yes,
ball armpits.
You're the gentle one.
Well, thanks for listening.
Tee hee hee.
Coochie coo. What you do from time to time
Every G up you go with a little slap
But you're gonna have to throw the stone
To get your boots and football
Nothing.
Nope.
I'm the female in this story.
Excuse me.
I've got a part to play on this podcast,
and it's the female voices.
I'm sorry.
I missed it.
Take this out when you want to edit it.
No, no, no.
We're leaving that.
Ha, ha, ha.