The F Plus - 171: r/mystupidopinions
Episode Date: March 30, 2015There's so many opinions on the internet, and those opinions are held by people who take considerable effort to try to convince others that their own opinion is correct. But what happens if you ...want your opinion to be changed by facts and persuasive arguments that others provide to you? Well, hypothetically you go to r/changemyview, a subReddit where people share their own opinion, and then sit back and carefully consider every conflicting opinion that's presented to them. In theory, this is a terrific idea! This week, The F Plus discovers the White Power Black Hole.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The principle of bros before hoes is not a good rule to abide by?
Hello, true believers! Welcome to the FLS Podcast, an intelligent place for terrible things.
Excelsior!
Right with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have boots, rain gear.
Change my view. It's not possible
to make a rational argument for why
someone shouldn't be a brony.
Yes,
Vaughn. Change my view.
I believe that it would be possible,
in principle, to survive the heat death of
the universe.
Ace Yakawaddle!
There should be an internet police that
go around and delete ignorant comments.
Change my view.
And Lemon.
Change my view. I should quit Reddit
forever.
I'm going to bow out. Hey, F+.
Hey, Lemon.
Hi, Lemon.
How are you all doing?
I'm doing outstanding.
Quite well, really.
I've got all these opinions. Oh, good, good, good, well, really. I've got all these opinions.
Oh, good! Good!
Good, good, good. The internet's a terrific place
for opinions. I want to tell you a very brief
story called The Tale
of January 7th.
Whoa. Okay.
I'll get comfortable. Alright, so here's what happened.
On January 7th, 2015,
somebody
on Reddit
discovered that
Wesley Crusher Teenage Fuck Machine reading
we did like two and a half years ago.
I remember it very well.
So then it was linked from Reddit
and
the community, and then it
ended up on the front page of some,
I think a Star Trek sub board or something like
that, and then everyone went to the site because they didn't understand there was an episode to listen to.
They just, like, saw the words teenage fuck machine and then the M Plus has ever received by a magnitude of tenfold.
Wow.
If you look at the graph of the history of our website, for the entire history of it, it is a flat line and a peak on one day.
Because the scale got thrown off by that one.
Yep.
So let me guess, we're going to go return the favor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Reddit's not going to know what hit them.
That's right.
F wasn't coming at you, spiking your graph.
Oh, yeah.
You're going to get traffic from the number 600,000th place on the internet.
Oh, yeah.
So Reddit has a section called Change My View
because the users of Reddit are an open-minded sort of folk
who like to have their opinions changed.
And Cheapskate put this document together.
So this is all about somebody stating an opinion
and then looking to have their opinion changed.
More like sitting back and smugly folding their arms.
Is that the same thing? I think that's the same thing.
Remove internet. Come on.
All right. Let's see. So let's start off with a piece about a real philosophical and sociological problem that we have.
I'm talking about small breasts. Isfahan, let's have your view change, would you?
Okay. CMV, small breasts are a thing of the past. Changed my view. I guess CMV has changed my view.
With a half a million women undergoing breast augmentation each year,
that should be the only factor to know that small breasts are a thing of the past.
It's like debate club.
Yep.
Not a single television show depicting a female older than a Disney character poses small breasts.
Wow. How old is a Disney character? Like than a Disney character poses small breasts. Wow.
How old is a Disney character?
Like, which Disney character?
You know, a Disney character.
I mean... Well, Cruella de Vil, right?
Grandmother Willow from...
Yeah.
From Pocahontas.
Sure.
Yeah.
He poses small breasts,
which is totally the correct verb for that sentence.
Even cartooned females have larger breasts.
I like that.
Asian women go to extremes to appear
more western by mimicking large breasts
and even bleaching their skin.
That's a large breast!
Bong, bong, bong.
That's how you mimic large breasts.
I'm a large breast.
Blubby, blubby, blubby.
Small-breasted women are seen as underdeveloped, inadequate, and less attractive.
C-cups are seen as a small size due to the growing number of larger breast implants.
Rarely do men comment on the niceness of small breasts,
and it would be a lie to say the world did not praise and idolize large breasts.
Can you change my view, or
do you agree? Balls in your court,
Reddit.
Well, I don't know. Does anyone
on Reddit have opinions about breasts?
I do! Oh!
Who are you? I am Wizardry Awaits!
Okay.
Yeah.
If you think there is no demand for small breasts and no man wants it,
you may want to check out slash r slash tiny tits slash r slash dirty small
slash r slash petite gone wild or slash r slash double A cups.
Petite gone wild?
Petite gone wild.
If anything, the prevalence of fake breasts
has put people off larger breasts,
preferring to see real ones
even if they are smaller.
There's actually
a really big market for it in porn.
It's one of the more mainstream
areas.
Yeah.
My name's Horace-y.
Oh, hey. Horace-y. My name's Horace-y. Oh, hey.
Horace-y.
My name's Horace-y.
That's what my name is.
Yes.
Okay.
Your statistic is incorrect.
There are probably hundreds of TV shows.
Which is less incorrect than whatever he said.
What?
Probably are.
I don't know.
I didn't count them all.
Jesus.
But I don't... What? Also't count them all. Jesus. But I don't...
What?
Also, he didn't provide any statistics data.
Did I miss the hidden argument that there were only dozens of TV shows?
Hey, AC Air.
Well, yeah.
What are your views on Ted DiBiase?
Ted, the millionaire man, DiBiase.
And can we change them?
Okay, look.
This is the challenge.
See if you can change my view.
Ted DiBiase is the most deserving wrestler never to have won the WWF title.
He had the million dollar belt.
He made it himself.
Gave it to himself.
Yeah, but that's not...
That's...
I don't know.
You're confusing the issue.
Stop that shit.
Look, look, look.
Ted DiBiase was one of the
most talented, healed,
villain wrestlers ever
to have graced the so-called
major leagues of wrestling.
His persona was strong enough to have
carried him from 1987 in the
WWF, now WWE, to recent events
including his induction into the
WWE Hall of Fame. He was the
top heel in the company for a number of years
wrestling the likes of Hogan, Savage, and the Ultimate Warrior.
His wrestling skills were above
average.
Oh, well then!
It was in the so-called major leagues
of wrestling.
You're pissing me off here.
And his endurance was strong,
evidenced by his, at the time, record-setting
45-minute longevity in the
1989 Royal Rumble.
And then he died, I guess.
Oh, hot. Ooh, hot.
Wait.
Sorry.
His promos were above average on his off nights
and phenomenal when he was on his game.
His trademark laugh and ring entrance music
are iconic and attention-catching.
Who's that man laughing over there?
It's me!
Ooh.
His gimmick of being rich enough to buy
everyone and his catchphrase...
Wait a sec. He's buying
everyone a catchphrase?
No, you're about to
say his catchphrase.
This is a good catchphrase.
His gimmick of being rich enough to buy everyone
and his catchphrase,
everybody's got a price for the million dollar
man.
Is that actually his catchphrase? everybody's got a price for the million dollar man. Is that actually his catchphrase?
What does this have to do with winning WWF titles?
Maybe I'll get there eventually.
I don't know.
Did he win WWF title matches?
I think I'm going to win this,
change my view thing by boring it a bit.
Are racers just banned in the WWF, like, writer's room?
Like, you just write down
a catchphrase, you're just
not allowed to pitch a second one?
Like, everyone got a prize for a million dollar man!
Okay, let's see if we can- No!
That's the fucking catchphrase!
It's pretty high turnover back there.
Yeah, I suppose that's true.
They were enough-
That phrase was enough to cement him as a hated man, as planned, to fans.
His vignettes with fans, whether real or plants, made him even more vilified in the minds of the fans.
Half of his fans were ficuses.
Yes.
An era when heels were supposed to be booed.
Wait, as opposed to what?
Uh...
Louded, I guess.
Ah, it's the bad guy!
Hooray!
The million dollar belt
is arguably the best looking belt
in the history of wrestling.
All right, Google image search.
It's just like covered in rhinestones.
I think it was like a black piece of felt with a rhinestone forming a dollar sign, yeah.
It looked like Richie Rich's pool.
It's a very succinct description.
Well, wait a minute.
If he's got the best belt anyway, then what the fuck does he need a shitty WWF one for?
Because I want you to change my view on Bored This Weekend.
Oh, okay.
I mean, sorry, I gave it away, didn't I?
He was one of the very
few people who could have portrayed the role
to the level he did.
All of these combine
to convince me that Ted DiBiase
is the most deserving man ever
to have not held the WWF
title. Alright, well
that's fair enough.
But, you know, we have another topic that's somewhat on the same tack as this Millionaire Mad Deb DiBiase.
And that's that dubstep.
Now, by that, I mean real dubstep.
Of course.
Hit a creative wall after 2011 and 2012, and now it's very boring.
After that, it started to break down.
Yeah.
Wow. That's all I had. Only now it's very boring. After that, it started to break down. Yeah. Wow.
That's all I had.
Only now it's boring.
Now it's very boring.
Minute of silence for that joke.
All right.
Yeah.
So, yeah, after 2011 to 2012, it's very boring.
I really like a lot of dubstep, particularly the 06 to 08 stuff, like early Hessel Audio, Punch Drunk,
early Apple Pips, etc.
And a few years after that, there's still some good stuff to be heard, like Silky and
similar artists, etc.
But now, new dubstep releases just seem to be either way too minimal and broody, Dungeon,
they're way too minimal and broody.
Dungeon.
Broody?
Okay.
Or the tracks seem more like elaborate DJ tools.
Oh, no!
Wait a minute, this is just Fruity Loops.
That don't really function as something I'd listen to at home, i.e. lividy sound, mum dance, etc.
Mum dance, etc.
Dubstep's always been about the effect with the crowd in a sound system, but songs like
Turd Broken Heart, Martin Remix, are able to stand out on their own without needing
to be mixed by a DJ on a system.
Huh.
Okay.
I like the acoustic dubstep.
Is that what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Okay.
I like the acoustic dubstep.
Is that what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Is there dubstep that's come out in the last year, this year, or the last year that isn't so boring?
I can listen to dubstep all-stars volume six over and over, but volume 11?
Whoa.
Whoa.
In comparison, it just sounds like a constant collage of punchy drums and random distorted warbly sounds with the occasional dark movie sample.
And that's not what dubstep's about, man.
Change a couple words and we're back in adult DVD talk.
Yeah.
Actually, you could swap out dubstep. You could swap out in there, though. You could swap out dubstep with almost any genre, and somebody somewhere is making this argument.
I even went to a recent show where there's a bunch of current dubstep artists play.
Dusk and Blackdown, Ven, Paris, Paris, etc.
And it was cool and all, but the only songs that really excited me
were the ones with 4x4 beats.
So my name's deleted, and
I'm just now realizing that I'm
getting old.
Isfahan, your name's CruxOfficial,
and you're a dubstep producer, right?
Ooh, yeah, I got the...
I'm a...
frickin' authority on
this.
You like how I covered up my
Ctrl-F searching for CruxOfficial? No, I covered up my Control-F searching for
No, I had no idea that you were searching for it.
Okay. Alright, guys.
Just gonna wipe the cocaine off your nose.
You're not alone
in the view that the good old days of Dubstep
were far better, and now everything is
quote, very boring.
I don't think that is the case. In 2012,
thousands of young people, as young as
13, were inspired by dubstep's
popularity and started making it themselves.
As such, there is
loads and loads and loads of new music
out there, so it may be harder to find what you
like. So to show
the variety, there is within dubstep
and similar genres,
there's the classically influenced
the jazz influenced the heavy the demonic the calm the funky and the mainstream what i'm trying
to say is not that you need to listen to all of this but there is still an insane variety of music
appearing nowadays and while i don't know where to look for it there is probably some on school
tunes appearing too even i create dubstep oh really. Even I create dubstep.
Oh, really?
Even you, the dubstep producer, creates dubstep? I'm a Crux official.
So, yeah, dubstep's totally alive.
There's 13-year-olds out there,
and even I create it,
in addition to those 13-year-olds
who are making the most wonderful music.
Do you have a sentence
that could just sum up your whole point there, Crux
Official? Look, at the end of the day,
if you don't like modern music,
meaning music made after 2008,
don't listen to it.
Yay!
Yay!
That old chestnut.
I hate music, got too many notes.
Music tastes is just one
of those things, Winky Face.
There's something I stumbled across, which I really had to share with you right now.
Oh, yeah, I'd love to hear what that is.
Yeah, oh, okay.
Well, I'll tell you.
I found the rules.
They have provided rules.
Here's what five, and your posts have to be at least 500 characters long,
and they actually provided you a sample of what 500 characters looks like.
Oh.
You know, just in case you got confused,
this is what 500 characters is like
in helpful lorem ipsum, no less.
You need to be able to visualize it.
That's all. Carry on.
Oh, okay.
Anyway.
Yeah, my name... My name...
You sound kind of sheepish.
My name's Poisonous Platypus.
Okay, that's a cool name.
You sound like a pretty cool guy who I would like.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure I am, especially once you hear my view.
Okay.
What's that?
I don't think we'll need to change it, though.
Sorry, I'm just a little sick to my stomach for no reason.
I believe it isn't unethical
for somebody to
have a sexual relationship with an animal.
Oh, fuck!
Wow.
Could you stay right there?
I have to check my phone.
Hang on.
Okay.
I'm just putting my phone away now.
So, I'm really going to read this? Yep. Okay. Oh right. I'm just putting my phone away now. So I'm really going to read this?
Yep.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
The opening sentence is pretty terrific.
I feel the need to put a disclaimer here.
I do not condone animal rape.
There we go.
Problem solved.
Thank God.
Okay.
I thought you were one of the bad ones.
I've never had a sexual relationship with an animal, nor felt the desire to.
You certainly are invested in this topic, though.
Yeah, but I had this thought a while ago and spent some time on
slash r slash bestiality and slash r slash zoophilia.
Why are these sexist things?
Okay, and a couple of other forums.
I just don't see the ethical problems.
Okay.
I do find these people weird,
but I don't see them as bad people.
Sorry if I offend any homosexual or bisexual people
with this comparison.
Oh, god damn it!
Okay.
Wow.
But I think bestiality is considered unethical for the same reasons as homosexuality.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
It's weird.
It's unnatural.
And those people aren't wrong to consider homosexuality unethical, so...
Yeah, and it stops the population from growing.
What?
I mean, no.
No, it doesn't.
I base this on these principles.
Da-da-da-da.
Da-da-da-da-da.
That might as well be what it says.
Because it's A, everybody knows what will happen.
You will get arrested.
B, everybody consents to what will happen.
I certainly consent to you getting arrested.
All right.
Everybody is in a proper state of mind to consent.
Everybody wants you to get arrested.
All right.
I guess we're ethical here, then.
That's a relief.
Can I stop?
No, you've got to keep reading.
Your post is not reading.
I think most people agree to these parameters.
Feel free to suggest an addition I may have missed.
Look down at your skin.
Is it made of straw?
Aww.
A lot of people believe that animals can't consent,
and I totally disagree.
Animals screw each other constantly.
I mean, no.
No, that's what the whole heat cycle is.
They don't have sex very often.
And don't see much difference if it's with a human.
There's no such thing as non-consensual sex between animals.
Another thing I've considered is that people will think that the animals are trained,
but they don't normally need to be trained from what I've seen.
They do it naturally.
What have you seen?
What troubles have you seen?
Look, he's never had a sexual relationship with an animal nor felt the desire to.
But
from what he's seen
Just one sentence left, Boots.
All this is based off of normal ethical standards,
where if you wanted to, you could castrate, tie, burn, and shoot an animal,
but not have consensual sex with a...
Hold on a sec.
Yeah, because there's no such thing as animal cruelty laws, right?
Yeah.
Sorry, I just had to...
Yeah.
You do that a lot, do you?
I just had to get rid of something there.
That's the evil trying to escape your body.
Okay.
I feel unclean, Lemon.
What?
I feel unclean.
Yeah, yeah, I thought you might enjoy that one.
Great, thanks.
Well, you know, let's move this along.
Let's go to a happier, nicer subject.
Oh, thank God.
Acier, your name, oh my God, your name is Hate India.
Wow.
And what's your view that we should change?
I know you're not, I'm going to surprise you with this one
You're not going to see it coming
But India is a despicable country
And why should I not hate all Indians?
Again, I'm hate India
Reddit.com
Slash r slash change my username
Yeah, when your username
Is hate India, I don't really believe you
When you want someone to change your view on hating India
Wow Yeah username is hate India I don't really believe you when you want someone to change your view on hating India wow yeah okay yep wow this is this is this is an experience
whoo all right um okay let me start off with my history with India and the people there
back in the late 90s and early aughts I worked for an IT company that was contracted out to go to Delhi, India,
and set up IT infrastructure in some call centers slash businesses and train the local admins.
At this job, I made three trips to India, where each one was roughly two months, give or take a few days.
So in total, I was in India for a total of six months over a two-year span.
All right. Good. Alright, good.
Okay. During my trips while I worked long hours during the week,
the weekends me and my co-workers often
travel around to different cities, towns, and tourist
spots. One thing that struck
all of us was how filthy the country
was. Piss, shit,
and trash just all over the place.
Even the clean
places were disgusting to someone from a western country.
Even backwoods hillbilly towns deep in the heart of the Appalachian Mountains
were cleaner than 90% of India.
Hillbilly backwater towns are, like, sparsely populated.
So...
What's your point?
No, I'm not right.
How is the other 10%?
Well it's a tie
Oh
The other 10% is a tie
Yeah
It's quantified this apparently
Statistics
I'm gonna count every piece of shit in the street
Seriously words cannot describe how filthy this country is
Even pictures don't truly convey the mess as it does not
transmit the smell. Oh my
God, the smell of the shit
and piss and God knows what else.
For a taste of the trash,
just look at some of the pictures on this site. Blah, blah, blah.
Who cares? Well, these pictures
were mostly around the holy rivers. The cities
were flipping disgusting.
Hell Indians complain about how
filthy Indians are.
Heaven Indians do not. Oh, were you in Hell
India?
Looks a lot
like the Temple of Doom.
Another thing we picked up
on was the sexism.
I'm not talking about the rampant
rape and grouping that you constantly
see in the newspaper or hell even saw on the street.
There's groups everywhere.
This is a very populist country.
As it turns out, it's group hunting.
Guys, a little look like the Thomas do here.
No, sorry.
Can't take those.
talking about it got to the point where the women, sorry,
where the woman in my company refused
to go to India because the locals either
ignored them, violated every HR
rule on sexual harassment ever written,
or were incredibly hostile towards
them. What about three?
Yeah.
Well, it was an or,
so it could be any one of the three.
I witnessed on
more than one occasion where an
Indian male told my female co-workers
that a real man doesn't take
orders from a woman.
You can get that in America.
On one occasion, I and another co-worker had to
step in between a man
who decided he would show a woman
her role in the witness.
Totally happened.
Totally.
I could not blame the woman for not I could not blame the woman for not...
Mop the floors, you!
I could not blame the woman for not ever wanting to go to India
as even as a man, I could not believe
how the men treated women.
Now, I will say not all of the men
acted this way.
Just a very large portion of them did.
And by the way...
Holy shit, that was a comma.
You're right. Wow.
That was the first one. And by the way... That was a comma. You're right! Wow. That was the first one.
And then scroll down to
the second to the last paragraph, because there's
so many, many, many, many, many
paragraphs in here.
There's a dissertation here.
I've actually broke my mouse wheel scrolling through this shit.
We've got a Tildr paragraph here.
Yep.
From the time I have spent in India and the time I've spent working with people from India,
please change my view that India is a despicable country and why I shouldn't hate all Indians.
Edit.
Just want to add, I didn't hate India or the Indians before I dealt with India in a professional manner, as in the house.
Yeah, as in the state house.
Yeah.
I also don't hate or dislike any other group. Just India and Indians. Oh, that's in the state house. Yeah. I also don't hate or dislike any other group.
Just India and Indians.
Oh, that's okay.
If you hate or dislike two or more groups, then you're officially a racist.
Yeah.
Sorry, dodged that bullet.
Yeah, and then he goes on.
I'm just looking at reddit.com slash user slash hate India.
He is active well no it's just
in this
he is active in this trend
they do actually say that you're allowed
to make a burner account for that
so
whatever there's some elaborately boring rule
about exactly which hoops you've got to jump
through to make a burner account, though.
Yeah, so what we don't see is the username
he's changed it to with, uh,
mildly tolerant of India.
Perhaps his opinion got changed.
India's fine, wink.
My name is Shizovism.
Shizovism.
Shizovism.
I don't understand why anyone would drink 2% milk. My name is Shizovism. Shizovism. Shizovism.
I don't understand why anyone would drink 2% milk.
Now this is going somewhere.
This is going somewhere.
All right.
I'm sorry.
Is this a controversial topic?
I'm buckling my seatbelt right now. I don't understand why anyone would.
Whole milk,
my dairy drink of choice, is by far
the tastiest milk.
It has a lot of calories and fat that I can
understand some people would want to avoid.
Wait, you've already just shot yourself down
with a fucking...
Hang on now! Skim milk
also makes sense to me because
even though it doesn't taste nearly as
good as whole milk, it's got about half
the calories and none of the fat, but
choosing 2% over whole milk
makes no sense in my mind!
The calorie difference is
there, but it is not significant
and the taste difference is huge!
How does one justify that?!
You might as well go all the way health-wise when you're already and the taste difference is huge! How does one justify that?
You might as well go all the way health-wise when you're already sacrificing that much flavor!
Wow.
I talked to a friend about this,
and he brought up the point
that some people were raised on 2% milk.
I think that's just
sickening!
Alright.
Alright, alright, alright.
They drank the 2%
Kool-Aid.
Parents should only allow extremes.
The parents shouldn't even have that in the
house, and if they do, they should be getting whole milk for their kids.
So change my view, motherfuckers.
So does he think people get indoctrinated to 2% milk?
I like Daylight's response.
It's, uh, why stop at whole milk?
Why not drink half and half?
Or even cream?
Damn straight!
Because I want all the flavor!
Flavor?
That's the word I'm using.
Yeah!
It's not milk until it makes my tongue slick!
Slick!
Deleted!
Just ask me this question, please.
Are you making a distinction between cooking and drinking?
I don't really know that much about cooking.
Someone who knows more than me might know if there's a reason to use one type of milk over the other when cooking.
But I'm specifically wondering why people choose to drink the lowest tier of milk.
The lowest tier.
The lowest. There's a strata.
Also, I forgot to mention
it in the OP, but it seems
that 2% is more popular
than other milks.
This is mind-boggling
to me.
How could it be popular? I don't like it.
Alright, well, serious topic.
That was a good palate cleanser, though. Yeah.
Speaking of palate cleansers,
Ispahan,
you are Galaxy
23! Yes, I am. Ispahan. You are Galaxy 23.
Yes, I am.
Alright, folks. Change my view.
Okay.
I think using peanut butter
or Nutella on waffles is better than
maple syrup.
We're gonna fight over this one, motherfucker.
Alright, bring it. Bring it.
Okay. Here's a enumerated list. Oh, shit. Alright, bring it, bring it. Okay, here's a
enumerated list. Oh, shit.
Yeah, you've already lost.
Oh, shit.
Peanut butter and Nutella have a more
solid texture, so it's less messy.
Oh.
So your starting argument here
is that peanut butter isn't messy.
Yeah, it's less messy.
Okay.
In a perfect world, but...
Anyway, you can just
put the waffle on a napkin
and spread the peanut butter
and Nutella onto the waffle and eat it
with your hand.
You don't have to worry about
dirtying a dish with that pain in the
butt to clean syrup.
Number two,
they have
less sugar.
They.
Okay.
We'll just take that as a given.
Sure.
It's
less calories as you only use
a percentage of the serving
of peanut butter,
190,
or Nutella, 200.
Whole serving is two tablespoons.
Whereas it is common to use more
than a serving of maple syrup,
210. Full serving
is a quarter cup.
What the fuck?
Wait, so we're
talking about a 10 to 20 calorie difference.
But you know how when you're sitting down to your waffles
and you got your maple syrup,
you know how you portion it out, you get your jigger, right?
And you portion it out.
I use a graduated cylinder.
Fancy pants.
But there's another thing here.
This is a 10 to 20 calorie difference per waffle.
And what motherfucker eats only one waffle?
Or 10 waffles?
It's more like 55 waffles.
Now we're talking about like 7,000 calories difference right now.
So good.
Anyway, sorry.
Carry on.
Number four, they have more nutritional value.
I mean...
We're putting sugary shit on waffles.
Yeah.
I mean...
People eating waffles are concerned about their nutritional value.
I just don't want to get maple aids.
I better finish up this post so I can go back
to splitting hairs.
Wow.
There's the huge con
that people who are allergic can't
use them as a substitute,
however. But for everyone else
I think this would be a healthier alternative
to the norm.
Healthier?
Yeah.
Why aren't doctors recommending we switch from maple syrup to peanut butter on our waffles?
This is why I had to escape that one time.
Okay, clarification, guys, clarification.
Okay.
The mods mentioned yesterday that this was also a good place to come
if you didn't feel that your view was strong enough,
so I thought maybe I could strengthen it
because I'm thinking about petitioning some of my favorite mom-and-pop breakfast places
to give it a test run on the menu.
What a petition, Mom.
You could ask for peanut butter
Yeah
You can just get plain waffles and put whatever the hell you want on it
No no
What is that
It says maple syrup
That is not maple syrup
It says it on the menu
That's what you're getting
I don't want the waitress to judge me
It's on the menu it's loud
I also really love the idearess to judge me. It's on the menu at 12.
I also really love the idea that, like, the Reddit mods, like, would, like, read over a post and go like,
you know, that guy didn't really seem, like, strident enough in his own entrenched views.
Yeah.
Hey, these are people who get upset if you don't write 500 characters for your fucking opinion to be changed.
Were you even wearing a fedora when you wrote that?
Oh, yeah. Well, it was sitting on top
of my head.
Sure. He was eating
the waffle out of the fedora.
Um, okay.
This one. Boots, I'm going to give you this thread
because I'm going to apologize for the previous thread that I gave you.
Oh, good.
All right, you ready?
This one's great.
Your name is Knifesome.
I'm Invenesome.
Oh, Invenesome.
Okay, yep.
I'm Invenesome,
and I think that Steve Harvey has taken a family out of Family Feud.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I used to be able to watch the show with my family, but it has become nothing but cheap sex jokes.
Yeah.
Okay?
Yeah, it's become.
It was never that before.
No, no, no.
It's classy.
And it's Steve Harvey's fault.
Yeah. And I'm embarrassed Harvey's fault. Yeah.
And I'm embarrassed to watch it with them
anymore.
The questions are posed in such a way
to elicit dirty
responses from the contestants.
Yep. And even when they
do answer accordingly, Steve makes
a shocked face to the camera
as if that reply was so
unbelievable
every fucking time. a shocked face to the camera as if that reply was so unbelievable every
fucking
time.
I think daytime television has a formula.
I've noticed
Hey, wait a minute! This Saturday Night Live
sketch is just an excuse for them to do their impressions!
Oh, no.
No, please say that again.
What the fuck?!
You were the day you crossed Matriarch.
Wait, that Tootsie Cat drives off the cliff every time.
I haven't watched SNL in, like, 40 years.
So... I haven't watched SNL in like 40 years.
I've noticed he's been getting lots of love on Reddit lately,
and I'm surprised by this.
Steve Hardy has taken the family out of Family Feud.
I bookended that.
That's good. The person they see on the camera is responsible for the entire show.
Yep.
I'm a maverick gamer. I got 43 triangles
or something.
Judging by the clips I've seen of older versions,
it's never been exactly family.
Also, I'm fairly certain that Steve Harvey
is just a meat puppet on the show
and he doesn't actually write
questions. He just reads cards.
Was Steve Harvey in the meat puppets?
He was in the meat puppets.
I'm sorry, is just saying like employee
not edgy enough anymore?
No, he's the Meat Puppet.
Blaming him for the
questions is like blaming
Tony Danza for the storyline of
Who's the Boss?
I mean, yeah.
I mean, sure.
Yep. Yep. Yep.
Yep.
And then somebody immediately
was like, what about the whole thing with
Richard Dawson making out
with every goddamn woman that was ever on that
show?
And Boots has no response to that,
apparently.
Nope.
I then summed on somewhere else. Was that a really complicated way of saying I hate blacks? response to that, apparently. Uh, no. Goodbye forever.
I then summed on somewhere else.
Was that a really complicated way of saying, I hate blacks?
You read a lot more into that than I did.
Yeah.
Well, he's a black guy.
Yes, I know.
All I got.
He thought that's where the disconnect was I can't
I'm not even going to take a guess
I'm going to edit this episode
I'm going to flip a coin as to whether or not
I'm going to edit that out
You are not going to edit that out
No put it in
I'm a fucking idiot
What the hell do I care
Keep it in there
Somebody's got to be an idiot Keep it in there. Okay.
Somebody's got to be an idiot on here for a hundred times. Give us something else.
Oh, God.
I wish my body...
Hey!
What?
I'm the Isshunga.
Oh.
What's...
Portax probably understands that reference.
I wish
my body physically
stayed five years
old for far
longer.
About a hundred years, I guess.
Change my view!
I have too much
stress now and
felt that I grew up faster before I was ready to.
I'm an...
Mm-hmm.
Go on.
Why did I give this one to myself?
It's got through his.
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
It took me a lot of effort.
Steel, here we go.
I'm an adult kid, though I act like a man-teen around others, I suppose.
And even try to pretend to be a kid who bedwets by wearing up-sized diapers with kid prints.
You can see them on this different subreddit.
Here we go! Let's all click on that link!
Nope. Let's not.
Why must I be at least 18 to view this?
What the hell, Trenchcoat Reddit man?
Fourth search for Isshin Ga is DailyDiapers.com.
Sure.
Yay.
Anyway.
I fantasize about being in an alternate world where magic is an everyday norm,
alternate world where magic is an everyday
norm and I do
something to get punished
with reverting my body
back to five years
old for a hundred years
while still keeping my
mental etc.
faculties.
Important.
Gotta hold on to those with a steel grip.
I wouldn't want to lose those.
Who also suffers from...
Oh, also, yeah, so the five years old for a hundred years, right?
Okay.
Subclause.
Who also suffers from urinary incontinence until I do enough good needs to earn continence.
Well, in this case, it wouldn't be
a punishment because you're into this.
A goblin put a curse on me!
Things were relatively
quite a bit more stress-free.
One more time.
Things were relatively quite a bit
more stress-free at age five.
And frankly, I would rather
stay in an un-aging
five-year-old butt, do you believe me
yet, for a hundred years
than to go through the stresses
I've had to go through thus
far. Now,
try to change my view
from this, thanks!
Um...
And then a whole bunch of people
will try to rationalize with him.
Yep.
I can take Taekwondo
and I can eventually learn how to overpower them
with my five-year-old body.
Yes, a five-year-old doing Taekwondo
will eventually learn how to overpower them. I'd be a super... Oh, God. year old body. Yes, a five year old doing taekwondo. Eventually they're overpowered.
That'd be a super...
Oh god.
Alright.
I'm not drunk enough for any more of that one.
Isfahan,
Cheapskate once again
put this document together
and there's 34 pages of it
but Boots just found something that we need to read
immediately. Isfahan, would you please take the, but Boots just found something that we need to read immediately.
Isfan, would you please take the thing that Boots just found?
Sure.
My name
is MC Seal Clubber
and change my view on the following.
Fuck you.
I believe that in a fight, Superman would destroy
Goku.
Superman's power is just too over
the top.
Goku's not known for that.
While Goku is incredibly powerful, Superman seems to have a certain power for just about any situation.
In fact, I wouldn't say that anyone in the DBZ universe is on par with Superman.
A major argument people tend to make when saying that Goku would beat Superman is that
if Goku loses, they'll just wish him back with the Dragon Balls, but doesn't
the dragon refuse to grant the same wish twice?
Superman would just
kill him again.
Nobody ever comes back to life in comic books.
Oh, I'm sorry.
With the amount of people that think Goku would win,
I just feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
Oh!
Wow.
Wow.
Am I going?
It's like a Twilight Zone episode.
Alright.
I'm Zero Shade.
I can already tell
you're going to beat me handily.
So this is entirely dependent
on your views. One, we know that
Superman is vulnerable to magic, so it highly
depends on whether or not you consider whether
Chi and the attacks the characters
in DBZ Universe use is akin to
magic in the DC Universe.
If you believe it is, and Superman doesn't stand
a chance as a single comma
would decimate him, if Chi
is similar enough to magic,
then Superman is weak to it. Think about a
hammer made of kryptonite hitting him in the face again
and again. Forever.
Number two.
Number two. If we assume that it's not akin to magic, then we have to decide which Superman we're talking about.
If you talk about the Gold Age Superman, then you're right.
Goku doesn't stand a chance because Gold Age Superman was literally a god.
His level of power was astronomical, and he could destroy the Earth by punching it if he wanted to.
However, if we're talking about Silver age superman or the more recent superman comics then we have a discussion as efforts have been
made to tone down this astronomical power level along with his abilities in the silver age not
being quite so ridiculous if we go back to when superman was first created and superman doesn't
stand a chance back then superman couldn't even fly his mode of transportation was literally
jumping really high and far was his only fast fast, speeding bullet, making Goku much faster.
Number three.
Once we've picked our version of Superman, and whether or not she attacks our magic for the purposes of the universal laws of comic...
Oh, fuck.
Sorry.
Purposes of the universal laws of comic physics, then we can actually start discussing who would win or lose in a fight.
Yay, that would be great!
What a day!
This is just preamble.
There's a lot of wincing
happening at the other side of the room here.
Yeah.
People are starting to leave the panel.
The strained breathing.
Goku has actual combat training and various martial arts
styles. His instant transmission
along with his desire and will to
fight have a challenge. The
Super Saiyan 4 transformation power level
plus his other abilities is generally depicted as being
as powerful, if not more powerful, than
people who have defeated Superman in the past
but with the constantly varying levels of
power. It's hard to say. My money
would be on Goku, honestly.
He couldn't kill Superman,
but I think he'd still fight him to a standstill,
if not win.
Key blasts aren't magic!
They're energy created by magic!
Argument defeated, I guess?
Dumb shit!
That Zero Shade guy, he had that, like, sitting in a text file on his desktop,
just waiting to bring it out and control it.
There's a copy.
Oh, that was already in my clipboard.
It's never not in his clipboard.
And, Isvan, just real quick, take the front page of Reddit.
Uh, you have some
facts wrong. Golden Age was
ridiculously weak, while Silver Age
was a god. Are you talking about PC
Superman?
Politically correct Superman?
How embarrassing.
Ah, you're right. I flip-flopped them.
Oh, come on.
Get your shit together.
Man, that's shameful.
All right.
Hey, F+.
Hi.
Are we starting an episode?
Is this the start of the episode?
Hey, Lemon.
What have you got for us today?
What do you guys think about apathy?
I could take it or leave it. I never thought about it, Lemon. What have you got for us today? What do you guys think about apathy? I could take it or leave it.
I never thought about it, actually.
It's a setup with only one punchline.
All right, here we go.
Hey, Sierra.
What do you think about apathy?
I don't think anything.
That's laziness.
What's your name?
Oh.
Wow.
Oh, my God. I had to read that three times. Yeah. I? Oh. Wow. Oh my god!
I had to read that three times.
Yeah!
I am cunt god Jesus Nipple.
Yeah.
That's right.
So this is a Gibby Haynes account.
Like, Mr. and Mrs. Jesus Nipple are very proud of me.
Indiana Jesus Nipples.
See if you can change my view.
I think most problems
in the US are due to citizen apathy,
but if we started caring, then we could make
this nation into anything we want.
What if we
want it to be a nation of apathetics?
Can you care enough about that?
No.
Then you lose.
I think it's been forgotten
That the government works for the people
They are merely public servants
Including the president
The government should be acting
Under every demand
Like servants, right?
But in reality
The public reacts
To government action
Stop throwing that fucking snowball around
Congress. Fix my fucking highway, asshole.
Yeah. Now, this
is due, me thinks,
to
nobody giving enough of a
shit to get up and do
something. We could be
demanding cuts to military funding
so we could have more money to put
into education and health
and overall improvements to standard of living.
These are things we can insist on, and they are not impossible things to accomplish,
but because people don't care enough to do more than make internet posts about something they dislike,
then the government has no reason to do anything about it.
The same applies with anything we want.
Gay marriage, cannibalist legalization, that's all I can think of.
These are things that have illogical laws attached to them,
and I think more people need to get outright angry.
Without the public telling the government what to do,
the government will, already has, start
acting for their own benefit, not the public's.
I believe we have the
power, if we get rid of our apathy,
to turn this country to
what we can be proud of!
Change my
view!
What the fuck is
step two, asshole?
Optimism!
People care, and then the country becomes something everybody wants.
I think stage two is question marks, and stage three is good country.
So, like, in your view here, is posting on Reddit not an apathetic gesture?
Like, is that a
citizen's action?
No, actually, I think
I'm trying to get you to demoralize
me. So,
because I...
Yeah, it's changed my view.
Because I feel optimistic that
if we just felt better, we can change the
country. Now I'm here to you
to get you to demoralize me so I don't feel this way.
Tell me why this isn't a good idea.
Come on, Internet.
Crush my spirit.
Hey, cunt god Jesus
nipple.
Yeah.
So much fun to say. You have a post
halfway down this page.
Yeah, I see one. Is that a response to Incruente?
It's the one that starts
exactly, and I think.
Oh. Okay.
That's further down.
I wish I could tell you what that's in response
to, but it would mean trying to figure out
how Reddit works. The fucking nested
shit. Yeah.
Oh, actually,
just following this line up,
it's the, it's actually like
the third post, it's from Incruent.
Uh,
of course. Yeah, it makes
total sense, doesn't it? Yeah.
Uh,
okay, so my stuff's about
like military spending,
military spending's pretty high, and yeah, that about military spending. Military spending is pretty high.
And yeah, that's my point.
Yeah, I'm demoralized already.
Exactly.
And I think it's up to the informed to get angry at the ignorant,
demand things, progress to how they want.
That's words.
Of course, there are a lot of people who don't want these things,
but a lot of that is due in part to ignorance.
And vagueness.
Wow.
That's more words.
You want the world to be a better place?
No, I don't think so.
Yeah, you guys are stupid.
I don't know what the word better means, I guess.
Not wanting education reform?
Don't care.
We need it.
Don't want gays to get married?
Don't care. that's the progressive
thing.
What am I saying?
God damn it.
You think people just aren't aware of
the correct way to have a
country? No, he's saying, like, if you're
progressive, you want things to change, so
dog fucking? All for it,
because that's liberal! Why not?
Fuck me!
I wish we could figure out this country's shit.
Maybe cunt God G's nipple will show up someday.
Screw the whole gotta-respect-everyone's-beliefs mentality.
Things in the U.S. are not ideal, and it could be,
and idiocy is slowing that down,
and I think hardcore ridicule will prove to be an important role
in fixing what's wrong with the country.
Oh, you stupid dumb shit.
Public ridicule.
What modern society really needs
is a teenager with brain chemicals
and half opinions.
We need to bring back the stocks.
Why did we ever get rid of those?
Oh, God? All right.
Let's see here.
So we're a ways in.
So it's time for some choices.
Some very harsh, harsh choices.
Boots.
Yes.
As a citizen of canada uh i have two different opinions uh on how to improve
uh the united states of america and uh you're gonna choose all right okay okay uh so uh change
my view number one the usa should have one mega prison for 2.5 million of its in-voices. This is going to be a hard one to beat.
Or
I think America is
the worst place on Earth.
I'm going to go with megaprison.
Alright, megaprison it is.
Yeah.
So, let's have your view
changed.
Your name is Star-Headed Crab.
Some Judge Dredd level fun stuff yeah i'm star-headed crab
and the usa should have one mega prison for all 2.5 millions of its inmates
economies of scale will not only allow for immense cost cutting, which is needed
if we're going to incarcerate
so many people. Because buildings
just get cheaper the bigger they are.
Yes.
They cut you a deal on materials.
Yeah. And why
not relocate all COs?
Mm-hmm.
But also just justify specialized programs
example having college level education
world class mental health care
etc. available in the prison
why should the prisoners
get something other Americans don't
what was
I didn't understand that parenthetical
ok cool yeah
this thing is more parenthetical
than actual text
seriously
a single framework could
be better at allowing world's best
practice among guards and other prison
workers and may allow
security to be consolidated
I forget is prison overcrowding
a best practice
a world's best practice?
A world's best practice.
Okay.
If I say yes, will nobody punch me?
Can't promise that.
Yeah, especially if it's on an
Alcatraz-type island.
Of course!
Of course, if the president crash-lands
there, you gotta send in, you know,
Snoop Kliskin to get him back, and his deal, and it's all nasty.
You know, the Escape from New York reference, well done.
A 2.5 million inmate island.
Yep.
Jesus, that would become the second largest city in the United States.
Yeah, significant separation from home will be comforting to families, and interstate mixing will help
prevent local criminal syndicates from having any kind of presence in prison.
What?
What?
What?
You heard me.
By definition.
There won't be any Aryans because there will be so many of them.
There won't be any Aryans because they're all in one place.
What?
They disappear.
They collapse in on themselves like a black hole,
which is the worst kind of hole for Aryans.
Well, no, it's because you put enough guys in a big prison.
You can't have the third street fritz or whatever.
Oh, so you're saying
there's going to be all the Aryan infighting.
Yeah. I'll roll with
that one. Sort of like some Game of Thrones
shit. Yeah.
Having one prison also allows
a meaningful comparison to be made
between states and their laws.
Does it?
How so? Because I just said so.
Oh, okay.
This shit's easy when you don't have to back anything up.
Yeah, the only issue I could think of
would be that visitation would be more difficult.
That's the only issue.
The only issue.
If you can get past that, I think we should enact this.
Other than that, it's prison utopia.
But with video conferencing becoming widespread, that's less of an issue.
You could just Skype call into the prison.
They have iPads in prison, right?
Yeah, yeah, FaceTime.
Hey, what you looking so happy about?
Ah, it's Wednesday.
Today is when I get my conjugal sext.
Oh. Oh, yeah, get my conjugal sext. Oh.
Oh, yeah.
You worked on that one.
Yep!
It was about a minute.
There's shit scratched off on a notepad underneath.
Remember, this is a prison.
Sorry, I'm allergic to my own voice.
Remember, this is a prison.
This is where you go after sentencing.
There's still room for temporary custody and other forms of detention.
This is just an idea I had that is no doubt horrifying to some.
Yeah, I mean...
It's more befuddling than horrifying.
Yeah, we don't think it's horrifying.
It's a stupid idea.
I mean, sci-fi authors have had the same idea you did for like a century, but nobody ran with it.
Anyway, back to playing Arkham Asylum.
I want to know why it's a bad one.
Edit.
Not entirely convinced it's a bad idea, but I most definitely have to go back to the
drawing board and come back with an idea of how it's
going to work and some numbers to
back up my claim.
This doesn't change my view, this has revised my view.
Alright, let's try three.
Does three work?
Yeah, no, I like that idea
of just like opinion first, numbers later.
Okay, Isfahan, you also get to make a choice here.
Okay.
So option number one is I don't think trading card games are fair at all.
Oh, no.
Okay.
I don't think trading card games are fair at all.
Oh, no.
Okay.
And the other option is the mark of an evolved human being is that they do not identify with their minds.
The second one sounds pretty nutty, so I'm going to have to go with that.
Yeah.
I thought the mark of an evolved human being
was figuring out the plurality of your sentence,
but I guess not.
I can't even.
I want to know where that's going.
All right.
My name is Ghost Chief MNT.
Okay.
Ghost Chief Monument.
Oh.
The mark of an involved human being is that they do not identify with their minds.
And in parentheses, I put ego.
Okay. Cool. Okay, cool.
Essentially, if we examine the deepest causes of suffering,
IG,
which is a combination of IE and EG.
That's like a super example here.
Yeah.
Better.
War, genocide, global
terrorism.
Yeah, it's like the
Ig Nobel Awards.
Yeah.
Almost all of them
stem from this habitual
and unconsciously held
belief that we are each
separate and unconnected
from each other and all
other living beings or
to say in another way
to live exclusively
identifying ourselves
by the contents of our
minds, second
parentheses, ideas,
emotions, etc.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Yeah.
Okay, carry on.
Pass the duchy on the left-hand side.
There you go.
If we go on to examine our modern culture,
another parentheses, sweatshops, factory farming, global capitalism, etc.
Yep, yep, modern culture.
We see this hidden factor of ego underlying all motives.
That we, as a general society, live unconsciously to the consequences our actions have on others.
Yeah, we sleep through it.
Therefore, my point is that it would seem to me
the sign of an evolved species is one that lives conscious of its connection
to each other and of their actions
so as not to bring suffering to others.
So,
she's talking about empathy,
and it totally
doesn't already exist.
Well, that's the problem with modern culture,
is that, like, you know, just modern culture
is just, I mean, it's
when we invented selfishness. Remember that?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
That was really our downfall.
It's a terrible idea.
And then Ghost Chief Monument
in the comments
goes on a while
expounding on his
belief. The more you read it,
the less sense it makes. And then
Bozoid asks, to be honest, it's
still pretty unclear to me.
Is this the idea of a
philosopher slash thinker
slash author? If so, can you
say who that is? I feel like I
might have a better time reading a summary
of his or her views than making
you try to explain them in your own words.
And do you have a response to that?
This guy explains it way better than I can.
Smiley face.
And then it goes to YouTube link.
How to use non-identification with form to dissolve the ego self.
So this is where the guy learned his rhetoric from,
is to just word sell it up.
Is this Kierkegaard?
No, YouTube.
Eckhart Tolle.
Eckhart Tolle.
Alright.
Older hunchback gentleman wearing a sweater vest. I think we probably have time
for... Oh my god.
Okay. I was going to say one more
but then... Yeah.
It's hard to stop with this one.
Cheapskate has given us a wealth of amazing shit.
Yeah, well, I mean, to be fair, Reddit really did a lot of heavy lifting.
Reddit is kind of the 2.5 million super prison of the internet.
It's all in one convenient place.
All right, ACR, here's your choice oh all right option number one crayon sharpeners are a huge scam damn all right all right that's gonna be hard to top
that's really gonna be hard to top though what's up what's the other choice the other one is
breaking up couples if you think
one person is not good enough for
the other is a moral obligation
oh Jesus
that sounds like it's going to be a verbal obstacle course
mhm
fuck it let's do that one
alright it's a little longer than we need
so I'm going to give you
this here your Your name is
Singer in a Smoky Room.
And
if you take the
opening paragraph
and then skip down to
I believe after that, please.
Alright, wow.
That is a wall of text.
Yeah.
Alright. Presumably there's punctuation
in there, but...
I see a couple periods.
Yeah. This CMV is based
on a hypothetical scenario in which you
have a friend named Julie who is in a relationship
with a man named Bob.
Now, the actual genders, race, and sexual orientations,
etc. of the people involved are
irrelevant.
It could be about your friend. Hypothetical situation, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It could be Bob.
I mean, your friend Bob dating a girl named Julie or your friend Bob dating a man named Alan or your friend Julie dating a girl named Ashley.
Of course.
Some very clumsy way to say they could be straight or gay.
It doesn't matter.
Just for argument's sake, let's just go with your friend Julie, who's a straight girl, dating a guy named Bob.
I guess he could be whatever.
Now, I believe there is an additional reason to try to break up a couple,
and that's if enough people think that one of the people involved is not good enough for the other.
Public opinion?
Is a good way to...
Yeah.
I'm going to lay it out. It's going to be scientific.
Okay. Good.
In this case, Bob would not be good enough for Julie
if he's...
Okay, so this would be like spousal abuse,
repeated infidelity...
No, no. but closer, closer.
Closer furry?
No, you're closer though.
Actually, if he's too short or too tall for her.
No, okay.
How about if he's too fat or too skinny for her?
He could be too ugly
for her.
Alright, alright, alright. You're discerning, so he could be too ugly for her hmm oh alright alright
you're discerning so if
he has too poor a fashion sense
for her or
if the thought about him fucking her just makes
you physically ill and keeps you up at night
right nope nope that's nope that's okay
oh nevermind that's not what I meant
if that applies to enough people then yeah they can
just break them up.
I think you could probably squeeze that under a subclause of too ugly, but I'm not a lawyer or anything.
But lastly, and now we're getting a little bit more rigorous, if he doesn't make enough money for her, that's a reason to break them up.
We're in a true force loneliness situation here.
Something tells me Singer in a Smoky Room has just come back with a sad story.
Now, they massed too fat for you.
In other words,
if enough people think Julie deserves better
than what Bob has to offer,
then it's perfectly okay for them
to try to end her relationship with him
so that she can find someone better.
It's one thing if one of Julie's friends
has an opinion on Bob.
But if, say, most of her friends
feel a certain way about him,
things would be different.
Of course, Julie might disagree and say she's fine,
but, you know, women...
Women who are in relationships
when they're actually unhappy
will often say that
because they have no wills of their own.
You'll see this quite often
with women in abusive relationships.
They'll form attachments to their abusers.
That wasn't one of your criteria in the list
above.
Ah, shit!
It was all superficial shit
in the list above. Curse you, list
behind, you got me on a loophole.
Ooh, view change.
Success.
They're unable to form an objective opinion.
Now, of course, being too short or too ugly or too poor isn't as bad as abusing your girlfriend.
But just because Julie says she's happy doesn't mean that staying with Bob is the best thing for her.
What do you think?
I just – I like – so one of the things that's pretty amazing about Reddit is that it's popular.
I don't understand.
But another thing that's amazing to me is, so there's that upvoting thing, right?
So the more times something's upvoted, it crawls up the top, right?
And then you get the, that's the best thing, right? And so the best change my view is a guy that quotes
like an entire paragraph
and goes, wow, just,
I mean, really?
Yep.
Like, yeah, bird!
Good job, motherfucker!
Contributing to this conversation.
This conversation isn't worth having,
but we're having it anyway.
And so many people agree.
32.
32.
Okay.
Now you get to choose one for me.
And I can't imagine which one you'll choose.
All right.
Option number one.
I consider metal the most overrated genre of music out there.
Change my view.
Hi, Jack Chick.
I was thinking it, but not saying it.
The other option.
This might sound mean, but I love Asian girls,
and yet I worry if I have a family with one and have a boy,
he may grow up to have a small penis.
That one.
Yeah.
Oh, you want that one, do you?
Oh, okay.
I didn't see that one coming.
Well, I guess I'll read that one then.
So, my name is Nonconformist the Third, or maybe Nonconformist Cubed.
Yes, and if you watch enough Asian porn, this starts to get implanted into your head, I swear.
But if I had a girl, then that girl would be so perfect.
That's creepy.
Please don't flame me.
Not stereotyping, but
just going off Asian porn
Which could not possibly be stereotyping
Yeah, maybe you should go off Asian porn
Maybe
I'm always going off to Asian porn
Is that what you mean?
No
Whatever, just do what you want
If you have another opinion and have seen a fair amount of Asian dick,
then you may be a woman or gay.
If you have a different stance, then please elevate me.
I would rather not have this opinion, so just be up front.
I think it's a valid fear.
It's not as if I have any issues down there,
so I know it wouldn't be that small,
but I still worry.
On the flip side, the IQ would be higher.
Here is some proof!
I'm not stereotyping.
And I have links of proof.
Proofity proof proof proof.
Global post, huh?
Wow, reaching high.
And then
V-Sprack.
Butch, if you'll take that, please. V-Sprack?
Yeah. Could I, before you do
that one, can I just read the thing
at the very top of Garn Teller? Just the first
line. Please, yeah.
Okay, this is in quotes. Honey, I love
you. We are a perfect match.
Love being together and share all the same values.
But before I propose, I need to ask you something.
Have you ever seen your dad naked?
And if so, how big was he?
Okay, I'm done.
All right, well, that was a fair one to get upvoted.
Good job on that one, Reddit.
Yeah, I'm V-sprack.
Porn is
not equal to reality.
Also, maybe don't
fetishize Asian women?
I don't. I actually
really enjoy different
Asian cultures, and I learned
some Mandarin for a year.
I go after personality
and looks, not
just looks. Mostly Asian looks, not just looks.
Mostly Asian personalities.
And Asian looks.
Vulvis, Ace here.
Vulvis has some additional science to put in here.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, my sister dated a white guy for over four years, and he had a small dick.
He didn't know what to do with a clitoris. Never had an orgasm.
But she still loved him.
Now she's dating an Asian guy and she said
his dick is about nine inches but
she still doesn't have an orgasm.
Okay. This is what you're talking about
on Reddit today. Alright. Cool.
I've only slept with girls and I've always
finished.
What the fuck?
I don't know. I put quotes on it.
It must have meant something.
I still don't know what this is.
I guess I came.
Alright, go me! Yeah!
I have a point to make here.
Let me get to the point.
Dick size doesn't really matter.
You can pleasure a girl without even having a dick.
Now, I also don't
believe dick size and race have anything to do with each other.
I think it probably has something to do with the geological location.
I don't know.
What?
Environment and food and the effects on the human body.
That's like science talk.
I'm not a scientist, but that kind of makes sense, right?
What an incoherent mess that was.
But Nonconformist 3 understood it better than I did.
I concur!
That's a great point!
You did always finish.
I never thought about that.
That's true.
Your sister didn't come.
didn't come.
I just want to summarize here
with what
before the F plus tells you what they learned,
I, nonconformist
cubed, want to tell you what I learned.
Okay, don't get me wrong.
If I fall for a woman and
want a family, the last thing that would stop
me is penis size of a son.
The last thing. That would be the last thing. That's why you made a thread me is penis size of a son. The last thing.
That would be the last thing.
That's why you made a thread about the penis size of your son.
Right, yes, correct.
Changed my view.
It's just a thought about genetics and how things work.
I guess this post is really hard to disprove.
Ooh, well, look at you.
Whoa.
How come we don't have a way of making the much-needed dick size change,
but we can grow livers and such in labs with stem cells?
That certainly would be a goldmine if we could do a little genetic enhancement.
Enzyte and penis pumps would lose stock price overnight!
Hooray!
Hooray!
I think he's got some
predilections here.
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did my change my view
stump you all too hard?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let the sun
shine.
So, F+, what did we learn from all this?
No, fuck you.
Fuck you, Closing Thoughts.
I have an opinion that needs to be stated.
Yeah, what's your opinion?
Yeah, my name is...
My name is MarchinGarrix69.
Oh, this one is not about the sorting hat.
Fuck, I hoped it was going to be about the sorting hat.
No, I vote a sorting hat one for Kumquat.
All right, all right. He's not here. hoped it was going to be about sorting hat. No, I voted sorting hat one for Kumquat. Alright, alright.
Instruments are
stupid and obsolete.
Ties in
nicely with the dubstep one.
Instruments have such wild
limitations compared to normal
composition programs that I
think they're obsolete in the modern musical
world.
They have imperfection.
You can't control the frequencies of the
sounds you're making as well.
What do you think notes are, idiot?
They just fucking
happen. People just like wiggle
their fingers around.
People will spend years
learning how to make a single sound
instead of all possible sounds.
When you play an instrument, you're a drone, an automaton playing someone else's piece.
As opposed to you and your keyboard or whatever.
Yeah, it's like being a soldier versus being the president.
Sure, it takes a lot of work, but it's a waste of talent.
Say that, soldiers! You've just been told!
So it's an argument, like, unless you're a composer, you're not musically talented.
Well, is that what he's saying?
Well, he's saying, like, instruments are stupid, why don't you just make your own music?
He's saying two things.
Istvan's got one of them.
The other is that unless you are making all possible sounds, you're not using all of your potential.
Well, that's why we invented dubstep. The other is that unless you are making all possible sounds, you're not using all of your potential.
Well, that's why we invented dubstep.
It's all possible sounds at once.
And the most upvoted response goes, I played the trombone.
Me too, All about you!
Alright, now, F+, what did we learn from all this?
None of these people really wanted to change their opinions.
Well, no, yeah, I knew that going in.
It's like I said, most people just want to state their opinions and watch other people try and beat their head against the wall, I guess, trying to change it.
Yeah, it's a forum specifically for smugly stating opinions.
Go ahead.
Change my view.
It should be called Change My View if you can.
Your move,
creep. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, there needs to be like a dirty, hairy picture
of it.
It's
kind of
a little surprising.
Like the amount of... It's kind of a little surprising.
The amount of... Because I noticed that the document that Cheapskate put together was just...
It's all the opening argument.
He did none of the responses.
And so I was like, oh, let me try to mine some of that out there.
And there's fun to be had.
But fucking nobody even tries.
And that's kind of, I mean, a little bit confusing in, like, a gimmick forum set up specifically for this purpose.
Yeah.
Is that, like, the whole point of it is to do this, and, like, the discussion is, is like just as contentious as you would have
in any other fucking forum where it's just like
no
no uh uh no
yeah I think
well reddit's a very web
like it's got a very
internet user base
and they kind of probably
understand that.
The same thing we understand is that nobody's really here to change views or to have their views changed.
But it's kind of a place where I think there's a social contract that kicks in that people
just say, okay, I'm going to have this stupid opinion and you all can get the satisfaction
of railing against it and everybody has fun.
That's what I'm really getting from this.
But, like, railing against it amounts to entirely just,
well, I have this opinion.
Well, these posts are so...
It's the typical way that internet people argue.
It's not actually about arguing.
It's just by stating your opinion more loudly.
Yeah.
Well, if you notice in, like, the posts we read,
some of them are long
but almost none of them have any content
it's all
just
fluff
nobody's actually making an effort
to have an argument
do you think maybe
at one point there was like
do you think maybe at one point there was
a golden age to the subreddit
where like no we're talking on relative terms here oh okay where people were sincere i don't know yeah where there was where there was at least a little bit of does anybody actually want to
bother finding it god no no no. Exactly. No.
Well, the problem is, the way I see it is, if you're... Yeah, I came to Reddit for intelligent discourse, thanks.
If you're going to change my view, and you say, okay, I'm going to change some people's views,
I'm going to put out all these salient points, and people are going to see things my way,
and, you know, we're all going to be better.
The first few times you realize that the people you're expending all this effort on just aren't going,
they're not really caring about what you
have to say then you just
either leave or then you just
join them
there's something I did want to add though
they have this delta system, these triangle
things so like
so if somebody
successfully changes somebody's mind
then the original
poster has to say this this person changed my mind!
And a bot finds it and gives them
a special magic point, so they get this triangle
that appears beside their name.
Oh, interesting. In the case of
that Chinese, the, do Asians
have smaller dicks? Somebody said,
here's some genetics, and the guy said,
cool, you changed my mind! And the first guy's like,
alright, give me a point! Alright,
have a point! So it's resorted, this isn't
really an argument so much as it's arguing
to get magic points so you have
the biggest score. Oh, yeah, no, it's just
internet chivos. Well, that makes so much
more sense. See, that's what I was saying.
The people did not really, they're just
having fun with it. They're careful points.
It's like reverse QI.
Yeah, I think
that there's, I think actually that just like in the internet's browsing
of just sort of every human being,
like this kind of has to be a phase.
I mean, I remember like a lot of my first interactions
was, you know, dial up BBSs.
And that's all that was is just like
just people fucking just yelling at each other all the time. Um, and I think that there's a point where you think to yourself that I like my opinion louder is going to inform myself. Uh, and then you just realize that's wrong and you move on. Um, and then for a while you just like want
to watch other people fight each other
and then that gets boring. And then you go
to Ball Pit! That's B-A-L-L-P!
I had a thing
for that.
Save it for next time.
If you consider metal the most
overrated genre of music out there, come to
Ball Pit!
There's somebody there who will change your view.
He won't be doing it with his tongue in his cheek.
Yeah, the website,
THTFBL.US.
Follow us on Twitter. Sometimes that's
good. And hit the flatter button
because that's nice too.
Bye-bye. But I can change, I can change, I can change, I can change I can change, I can change, I can change
If it helps you fall in love
In love
I can change, I can change, I can change, I can change
I can change, I can change, I can change
If it helps you fall in love.
It's not possible to make a rational argument for why someone shouldn't be a brony.
There we go.
I heard a laugh from the other room.
Bonus bump laugh.