The F Plus - 190: Welcome To Planet Thumbsucker
Episode Date: September 28, 2015Life is a scary and emotionally draining thing. So it's understandable that we deal with stress, loneliness and fear by using various coping mechanisms. We drink, we smoke, we have casual sex, an...d sometimes, we suck our thumbs. Nothing about this is terribly weird or shocking, right? Well, how about you spend an hour listening to internet spew about thumbsucking and see how you feel afterwards? This week, The F Plus pays very close attention to what thumb Cathy is sucking on.
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The arousal that naturally occurs when I do it.z
Thumb in mouth ellipsis, hand on penis Every time that I sing it, I think that you're dead.
Every time that I sing it, I suck on the thumb.
Hey, welcome to the F Plus Podcast.
It's just a safe and comforting and nice place for terrible things read with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear.
I'm 21 and I'm still hooked on the thumb.
Jack Chick.
What is surprising, though, is that a little over one in four adult thumb-sucking respondents use a blankie.
From LeftHeadedRadio.com and the sequel machine, Adam Bozarth.
I'm very curious if anyone else sucks their thumb this way.
I don't actually suck it, I rub it.
From IDon'tEvenOnATelevision.com,
this is J.W.
Friedman. I don't believe that thumb sucking is an important issue, like, for instance,
racial prejudice or issues involving the Bill of
Rights.
I don't either.
I agree with you. And Lemon.
Okay, in class once, I think it was around
14 or 15, I fell asleep and started sucking my thumb,
and a couple girls started laughing, and they said,
you still suck your thumb?
So I said real nicely, like, who gives a shit?
Jeez, I think they really respected me for standing up for myself.
And you listened to Slipknot.
FDW. Hey, F+.
Hey, Lemon.
Hello, Lemon.
How are you all enjoying adulthood?
It's great.
I can buy my own booze And then drink my own booze
And pay bills
And be crushed under the crippling amount of debt that I have
But while drunk
I stay up late and eat candy for dinner
Ooh, that's nice
I've been keeping myself busy
Finding reasons to live
So that's been fun
Have you come up with one yet?
Oh yeah, there's been several Oh wow, that's terrific Can okay have you come up with one yet or oh yeah there's been several Wow that's terrific yeah can you like for it like a fallout 4
until it comes out and then I hate it yeah absolutely well today we're gonna
talk about emotional regression and comfort.
And I want to start by saying we are not doing another episode on adult babies.
Yay!
I can say it with confidence.
We will not do another episode on adult babies.
And you still don't want to do it again?
No, absolutely not.
Fuck you, I researched that episode.
Oh my god, yeah.
It was year one, and boy, I still get the shakes from it.
But this episode is about thumb-sucking adults.
We are going to be going to thumbsuckingadults.com, which is a collection of people who suck their thumb.
And there is an opening animated gif that starts out that you should not look at because you will dream about
it um it is horrible so um let's start off with the fact because i'm sure that we have questions
about thumb sucking adults uh that need to be answered so uh so boots i'm looking at a site from 1998, aren't I?
Yeah, absolutely.
CSS is stupid.
Just fucking...
I love the homebrew
HTML.
It's been just over a million hits
since the counter started
in January 12, 2002.
I hope this is part of a web ring.
It is one recognition.
So, Boots, I have a couple questions I would like to ask you.
Sure, I have many answers.
Great.
Why do we suck our thumbs or fingers?
Why?
Well, for most ATS, that's adult thumb sucker, it comes down to habit.
That's adult thumb sucker.
It comes down to habit.
When we were children, T.S.ing... Thumb sucking.
Thumb sucking.
T.S.ing.
Yeah.
Gave us lots of pleasure, satisfying the sucking instinct,
and possibly compensating for less nurturance than we may have needed.
But as we got older, this satisfying behavior became a habit.
As such, we learned to associate it with certain comforting needs that we all share.
That we all share.
We all share.
These associations helped to relieve psychological stress.
We also retained its usefulness in helping us go to sleep under a variety of conditions and moods.
We've also found that, by relaxing us,
it helps us to concentrate better.
All these benefits over the lifetime only encourage us to continue.
Great.
Are there any Thumbsucker anonymous-style support groups?
Because obviously this is a great thing,
but for some reason I want to stop.
Oh, well, besides this site,
which is the major location,
anywhere addressing this issue, there are now other places on the net.
There are!
Ooh.
Yeah.
How many other places are there on the net?
And there's a link there to our links page, because, again, we contains several different web sites.
Such as Fabulous Disaster, A Pebble in the Shoe, and The Fetal Cure, which has a spinning update graphic next to it that says,
A site espousing thumb-sucking and fetal posturing as a cure for many maladies.
What the fuck? Fabulous Disaster? They named it after Exodus' worst album?
It's somebody's band. It's like a subpage of their band's website.
It's Exodus cover band.
Besides the internet experience, there are no known support groups devoted entirely to this subject.
From this site, then in quotes, ellipses, and then thumb.
Oh, boy.
Well, at least there's puns.
Yay!
The primary areas in which you can share your feelings with others is in the forum area.
Enter from the homepage in the pen pal section.
If you want to start your own support group, check out the pen pal section. If you want to start your own support group,
check out the pen pal section,
announce it at the forum,
put an ad in local papers,
and try it.
You bet.
I'm going to do that.
Because boots, and you know,
you only need to think in a short paragraph here,
but can thumb sucking enhance my life?
I'm only answering in the short paragraph, you say?
Yep.
Sure. Some women are amazed
that most guys find their
T.S.ing cute, even attractive.
Nope.
Women don't often understand this, but it's true.
I've had several guys write in to say
that a significant other
found the same to be true of their T.S.ing.
Oh, yeah.
You know, you wouldn't know him.
He lives in Canada.
One more question for you.
I'm going away to college and will have a roommate.
What should I do?
I'm about to find out.
Okay.
Sorry, I had to work up an answer to that.
I understand you're concerned about roommates completely.
Here in the United States, sharing a room in college is considered the standard way, not the old-fashioned way.
And believe me, people find all sorts of ways to do secret private things without the roommates knowing,
sometimes while the roommates are right there in the room with them.
Ew.
Yeah, totally.
I had a roommate who masturbated in public.
Oh, God, no, I knew it was happening.
Yeah, totally. I had a roommate who masturbated in public. Oh, God, no, I knew it was happening.
And the greatest thing is that nobody can tell!
I shared a room with a girl for three years in college and sucked my thumb probably every day we were living together.
Yeah, she would recount the same story.
So I live with this fucking asshole who kept sucking his thumb
secretively. Anyway.
No, I didn't really
make any special effort to hide
my habit from her.
But if she noticed, she never commented.
Okay.
Here's some things that may help.
Great. Okay, good.
And there's a bunch of points that I use double dashes for some reason.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're the classic double hyphen points.
Double hyphen points, yes.
Put your bed higher than eye level and sleep with your face to the wall.
If they are allowed, sleep on a loft.
The beds are bunked and cyst on the top.
Everyone brings something to college that reminds them
of home. Pictures, care package, high school
awards, whatever. Pass off your blanket
or lovey as something like
this. What's a lovey?
What the fuck is a lovey?
Is it a dinky?
I will look around. I'll tell you if I
find anything. Oh, okay. If you tell people
that the lovey is a childhood something,
that's really weird. Like a stuffed toy or something?y is a childhood something, it's really weird.
Like a stuffed toy or something? It's a childhood something.
Yeah, it's a childhood something.
It's my
90s alt band.
Hey, have you seen my childhood something?
It's a real lovey.
That you brought to decorate the room,
they will believe you.
If you tell them it's something that you have
to stroke or risk losing your sanity, they will believe you. If you tell them it's something that you have to stroke
or risk losing your sanity,
they will believe that too.
Sure. They will back out of the
room. Oblige whatever you want.
Pro tip.
Lie. About everything.
Just scare your roommate
into not asking questions.
If you're worried about slurping or stroking noises...
What are you doing with your thumb?
Sleep with a fan blowing or radio playing or something.
Yeah, that'd be great.
Just have a fucking radio blasting while I'm trying to sleep.
I would love that.
Now I get the noises of sucking and chameleon air.
This is terrific.
A giant industrial box man.
Fucking 311 again? Fuck!
Find some time when your roommate is in class
somewhere
when you can have the room to yourself.
Suck away or do whatever else
that is private.
Take a lot of showers.
Yeah.
Whatever else is private.
If the room is occupied, there's always, always a reasonably private place in the college campus.
If not your dorm room, an empty classroom, study carrel.
Study carrel?
What?
Yeah.
In the library, vacant lounge, even a restroom stall.
Boots, you're in academia.
Uh-huh.
Would you say that that's true, that there's just always private places on a college campus?
No.
Well, thank you for your honesty.
Unless you're lurking around for the summer, I guess.
Go on.
And pack your blankie or lovey in your book bag
so you'll have it on campus if you need it.
What the fuck is a lovey?
Sure, this will lead to fewer lesser questions.
Carrying a blanket with you or a childhood something with you.
Why is it lovey in the book?
Adam, I...
I don't know.
I mean, you know, I feel like we're friends.
I feel like I can open up to you.
Sure, you can always talk to me.
I'm your friend on the internet.
Yeah, so you won't broadcast this.
But I hate myself because I suck my thumb.
How can I deal with these feelings?
Self-loathing comes in many forms,
with origins as varied as the number of people experiencing it.
Usually, though, its beginnings lie in how loved we felt
in our formative years as a child,
especially in terms of the relationship fostered between parent and offspring.
For example, if you felt rejected by
your parents many times for who you were or what you did you may be you may have built up a thought
pattern in your mind that undermine your feelings of worth you may have subconsciously or consciously concluded that you aren't
worthy of unqualified
love. Of course, it's a
lot more complicated and
generally requires a pattern
extended over time, but
you get the idea. Hating
oneself is a process that is usually built
up over a lifetime, and once the
idea gains a foothold, it may grow
in such a manner that each
subsequent perceived rejection or
failure becomes more reinforcing
and important than it otherwise should
be. It's a pattern of feeling
that takes root, wrong root,
and takes...
and becomes habitual.
It takes a route. It takes route.
It takes whatever route it feels like.
Yeah, you have to drive there.
It takes a route. It takes whatever route it feels like. Yeah, you have to drive there. It takes a route.
Do you have some questions you want to ask Jay there about your thumb sucking?
Oh, this series of questions?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, who's going to answer my question?
Jay's going to answer your question.
Start with the for instance part. Okay. Yeah, who's going to answer my question? Jay's going to answer your question.
Start with the for instance part.
Okay.
For instance, let's say you believe that by saying you're immature or bad in some way. Perhaps this feeling is based on things your parents said.
Man, fuck my parents.
Like, stop sucking your thumb, dummy.
things your parents said.
Man, fuck my parents.
Like, stop sucking your thumb, dummy.
Let's look at some imaginative dialogue to illustrate the point.
Okay.
Q means questioner and A means answerer.
Oh.
Well, you know, in 2002, they didn't have those kind of shorthands figured out. That's a good point.
Yeah.
Nobody knew how questions worked.
Okay.
shorthands figured out. That's a good point.
Nobody knew how questions worked.
Now that you guys get the system,
now on to the imaginative
dialogue. Great. Q,
what's the problem? I suck my thumb.
Q, why is that a problem?
Because I think that I'm
immature if I suck my thumb.
Q, and what
does that mean? If I'm immature, something is wrong with me. Q, and what does that mean? If I'm immature,
something is wrong with me.
Q, and what's
wrong with you?
Oh my god, wow. If means I can't
do the things I'm expected to do.
I can't handle things.
Q, like what? Like handle
a relationship or take on the responsibilities
of an adult.
Q, but you have
had relationships and
you do have a job.
You know, I always felt like
Dr. Melfi was just kind of
underqualified
for being a therapist.
But you do have relationships
and you have a job, right?
Yes, but
okay, it means that I'm not capable like I should be.
Q, how so?
I don't know exactly.
I just feel bad about myself because I suck my thumb.
Q, what do you mean?
I just feel like I'm bad in some way.
Oh, this is going to come to blows.
I know, I'm getting heated.
You're a bad little thumb sucker, aren't you?
So you feel that you're a bad person if you suck your thumb?
I guess.
This is the irrational sentence.
Oh, damn.
I am bad if I suck my thumb.
Just one of hundreds of possible alternative
sentences.
Like, I don't know.
Remember. Like, that's not pee.
I spilled lemonade in the bed.
I am bad if I pee
in the bed. I am bad if
I don't floss.
Remember,
getting to this part
isn't usually so easy,
but I'm illustrating a point for clarity.
Notice, too, that some of the notions
cannot be backed up with behavioral evidence,
like the use of the word immature
in the above example.
Let's continue.
Q, what does that mean,
to be a bad person? Do you mean
that when you suck your thumb,
you are bad
to others? He's a bad
boy. No. Bad bitch.
Bad to myself, and bad that I'm
a disappointment to others.
How specifically?
I don't know.
Melfi's been drinking.
It's just a feeling.
Man, I just spent 45 minutes having an argument with this stupid lady named Eliza.
All she did was say, how so, and what does that mean?
You made it 40 minutes without trying to get her to have cyber sex with you?
Tell me about your mother.
Sexy thumb suckers are awaiting in your area.
Well, so yeah.
So this is, you know, as we've learned a little bit about, these are people with a complicated problem.
People that are trying to find a solution to their complicated problem.
And there are success stories.
And, you know, so we're...
So there's a lot of jubilance that this community exists.
And so these are actual emails
in quotes as big as you like them
from actual
thumb-sucking persons
who have found this site.
Dear God, this color scheme!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now we got some sort of color.
It's yellow on blue.
It's the same color scheme as poop.computer.
A site that still doesn't link correctly
even though I've emailed Comqua
at very specific instructions.
All right, so...
And the title of the page.
What's the title of the page?
And then some interesting
emails.
Oh!
So, Jack Chick,
if we'll start this out, and if you'll be
Jody, please.
Hey, how are things
going? I am good
and I hope this letter finds you well.
I saw your web space site on the news last night.
Oh, dear.
I found it nice to know that this other is out there like myself.
I know sometimes it is hard and others find us a little weird.
I am 23 years old and a police cadet in Florida.
Oh, dear.
Now, I know that some others
would think I'm unable to do the job
and might make fun of me if this leaks out
so I hide.
Well, I have to go now.
If you don't mind, I will write back later.
How email works.
Thanks, Jody.
Do you mind if I put this up on my public website?
Webspace site, I believe you mean and then uh Jay you're Karen gotcha um whew I knew I couldn't be the only one out there thanks so much for creating this site for fun and information
I'm a 36 year old married woman who has sucked my thumb all of my life quit briefly a couple times
but never really saw the need to rid myself of the habit i'm careful these days about who i entrust
with this activity my husband doesn't mind a bit but was a bit more open about it in my early 20s
i was unable to reach certain categories of the site but we'll try again later i've already added
it to my favorite site list thanks again My book dash marks.
Alright, so
Boots, you are Cindy?
Yeah.
I'm the president slash CEO
of my own corporation.
My own
corporation.
Hyphen, ampersand, hyphen.
That's the name of my corporation.
There's a lot of title case in my corporation. I don't know.
There's a lot of title case in there, so I don't know where the corporation begins.
Running my own corporation.
My corporation is called hyphen, ampersand, hyphen, recently saw the extra TV story.
Title case keeps going.
I'm good.
This is the entirety of my corporation.
All right.
My corporation is called recently Saw the Extra TV Story
on Adults Who Suck Their Thumb.
Finally!
Very brave people
to be featured
on national television
like that.
I am 32
and have sucked my thumb
my entire life.
I run a very successful
corporation
and I'm under a great deal
of stress at times.
Everyone talks about
how pretty I am all the time.
Nope.
Sucking my left thumb is what I do to relax.
Sucking my right thumb is what I do to rage.
Yeah!
This thumb's for you.
This thumb's for me.
On this thumb is tattooed love, and on this thumb, hate.
Shit, Gary, were you in the meeting with Kathy?
With Cindy?
Yeah. Which thumb was she sucking?
Both. Holy shit.
Don't go in there. It's a right thumb day.
Sucking my left thumb
is what I do to relax and wind down.
If I did not have this option, I would never sleep.
And possibly alcoholic or drug user due to the stress of my career.
Wow.
So thumb sucking must feel really good.
Because I couldn't imagine replacing one with the other.
Yeah, it must be better than weed and red wine
combined.
I am glad I found this website
and
would love to hear from any of you
that would care to email me.
Cindy at inperson at
teleport.com
I've got two ats in my email address.
That sounds about right, right?
Like, you know, everybody who is a CEO of their own company is super, super, like, just doesn't have a lot of time.
And so they want everybody on this random website to email them.
I'm just looking for friends.
So my name's Kathy. Hi, Kathy. And I'm just looking for friends. So, my name's Kathy.
Hi, Kathy.
And I'm Kathy with a C.
So, am I Bruce McCulloch, or am I...
Which Kathy am I?
You're Bruce McCulloch.
You're Kathy from the newspaper.
Ack!
Okay, that's too bad.
You have managed to some...
What?
Immediately. Immediately.
Okay.
Kathy.
This is from 1999.
No.
You have managed to some tears into my eyes.
I have lived alone for over 20 years, hiding a secret not to be admitted to anyone.
I honestly and literally believed I was the only one with such an oral fixation.
I have tried to quit sucking my thumb for years!
You tried a dick?
Oh, man.
All right, you get the fine.
I was waiting to find the first person that made a dick-sucking joke.
Damn it!
ElfBus Live, you owe me a dollar.
Fuck.
Nothing works.
I was afraid to tell anyone.
When I stay at my boyfriend's apartment...
What?
Wait.
When I stay at my boyfriend's, I am completely alone.
Nobody in my life understands me.
I am completely and utterly alone.
When I stay at my boyfriend's apartment, I lie awake for hours.
You just creep in there when he's not there.
Psst, you're my boyfriend.
I lie awake for hours in fear of being caught.
Somehow, I have found a way to fall asleep without the habit there.
But frankly, I no longer wish for it to quit it,
for it soothes me.
I could write a novel about all this!
Repressed feelings are surfacing from me from 20 years...
Repressed feelings are...
All are we surface...
Shit!
Whoa!
I don't know, what's a bigger disaster, Lemon?
You're reading or you're writing?
What's the problem, kid?
It's not Joyce.
Here we go.
Repressed feelings all are surfacing to me from 20 years.
Simple.
That's a sentence.
Simple.
I don't know why I tried to fix that.
Yeah, no, that's a sentence.
I would know.
I disagree.
I just wanted to thank you for bringing the awareness out of this problem.
I was so afraid of finding out that I almost did not move away to college.
I'm still looking through your webpage and will continue to visit it.
Alarge weight lifted off my arms tonight after watching Extra.
Now we know where all the traffic came from.
Jesus.
What was Extra covering in 1999?
Adult Thumbsuckers.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Here's the first thing we found on the internet.
Extra!
People are sucking their thumbs.
Extra!
Extra!
The hard copy version was Adult Thumbsuckers.
You won't believe what some adults are doing to their thumbs on hard copy.
Well, anyways,
I saw this after watching Extra, which I would
also like to thank, but cannot find an
email address.
Well, this is getting long.
I intended only to drop you a note
telling you that it is not
imaginable how happy I am
to find this fact out,
and I no longer feel as lonely.
No one knows of my sucking.
I have been dating.
We get these pills to swallow.
I have been dating someone for a year now, and he does not know.
Sometimes I wait for him to sleep,
and sometimes I force him to sleep. And sometimes I force my boyfriend to sleep.
And sometimes I force myself from doing it at all.
I was curious how people reacted to this habit.
Do boyfriends slash girlfriends accept it or have problems?
I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend.
Help.
Thank you.
Dear internet, help!
Yep.
Yep.
1999, it was a more innocent time.
It's true.
Alright.
I think, well,
so this document, by the way,
put together by
another first-time submitter, or maybe not first-time
submitter, but first-time submitter that we're reading,
Captain Laserpants!
Yeah! So thank you very much captain laser pants um but this section here is called this is really just you know everything that preambles this because this
section here is called why it's sexy oh no i was hoping we weren't going to get to this.
Yeah, so this is called Why It's Sexy.
This section focuses on an aspect of adult thumbsucking that often surprises the adult thumbsucker.
It's sexy.
The fact shouldn't be too surprising
in that it involves the sensual oral center.
So we hang out on the weekends.
It's like the teen center, but better.
Why was it so hard for me to just type mouth?
How many licks does it take you to get to the sensual oral center?
And well, so much of what is human has become sexualized in one way or another.
Agreed.
Or another, that thumb-sucking adults is just another part of the total picture.
Some folks have written their thoughts on this subject, and so, take a peek.
And, hopefully, reading them won't leave you too peaked.
I don't like the use of that at all.
Caution!
Some of the dialogue below
may be considered by
some to be sexually risque.
If you have issues of tolerance to the subject,
I urge you to wear an
intellectual... I tried
to spell prophylactic.
I really
did give it a shot.
You tried so hard and you got so far,
but then that happened.
See, this was made in the time before that red squiggly line.
Oh, that's true.
That is true.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think, Jay, if you'll take the first one there, please.
All right.
This is an email from a woman fan who is trying to describe the origin of her sexual fascination
with other women adult thumb suckers.
I'm a bisexual woman who finds other women sucking their thumbs extremely erotic,
so this is kind of a fantasy of mine to meet someone in my area.
I would very much like to have their email addresses if they wouldn't mind.
Try to find a domain for this.
I'm going to steal all this Ashley Madison traffic.
Hey, motherfuckers.
That's relevant
and topical.
Still probably will be when this gets released.
Probably not.
First of all, growing up, I had a very close
friend who lived down the street from me who also
sucked her thumb, experimenting with sex
at a very early age, around age
five. Janice and I were...
God, that's grim.
That's fucking grim.
Let's slow down.
Let's slow down.
Okay, so
Janice and I would spend hours
together exploring our bodies and touching
each other.
Oh, God!
I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it.
I thought we weren't going to do Piers Anthony.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I thought we weren't going to do Piers Anthony.
We learned how to masturbate. And although I was so young, I discovered how to reach orgasm.
I think perhaps Janice and I shared a certain closeness in our friendship and later in our intimacy because we both sucked our thumbs and felt accepted by each other.
Or maybe it's because you fucked.
Maybe that's why.
You and Janice need Jesus.
Maybe the closeness had nothing to do with the fact that we were fucking
and everything to do with the fact that we both sucked our thumbs
and felt accepted by each other, if not by peers who seemed to ridicule us.
Oh my god, how is this so creepy?
It's insanely creepy.
I mean...
So, from this, I can
summarize that my earliest, deepest feelings
of sexual desire were connected to both
thumb-sucking and a female partner.
Many years passed and I dated men here
and there, but never quite felt emotionally
or sexually fulfilled. While
attending college in Arizona, I began
to explore my feelings for women, and
subsequently had a few serious love
relationships with gay women.
Wait a minute!
You played around at being bisexual at ASU?
Really?
I believe that's a summer program they offer, right?
I believe that's a requirement for entry.
It's a half-credit course.
Well, for the honors college, maybe.
Okay. Let's a half credit course. Well, for the honors college, maybe. Okay.
Let's see.
You know, none of the rest of this has to do with thumb sucking.
Let's see here.
Okay.
She's just unpacking some bags.
Oh, here we go.
Can I skip to the last paragraph?
Please, yes.
Oh, yeah.
And why does it turn me on?
I'm sure it has to do with my childhood friend and the feelings associated with that particular behavior.
Whether it has any other meaning or other reasons for turning me on
I don't know
pervert signing off
that was like
almost assuredly written by a creepy man
just wanted to point that out
no that doesn't happen
on the internet
not back in 1999
nobody thought to do it.
Jack Chick,
if you'll take the next one, please.
Men and women find things sexy
for many reasons,
usually having to do
with cultural values.
But across all cultures,
the fact remains
that people are sexually
attracted to each other
whatever the reasons.
I have noticed
that the humans explore
sexual contact.
There's one thing that remains true across
all of humanity. People
love a fucking...
I actually think
that is the stupidest thing I've read on this podcast.
Of course!
That's what happens when you get that close to the truth.
You feel stupid. You feel stupid.
You feel stupid.
The thing is, it's also maybe the most correct thing we've ever read in a podcast.
That's also true.
Of course, the imperatives of biology will dictate this reality,
but the fact remains that whatever attracts one to another is learned.
Whether we're attracted to beards, blonde hair, breasts,
personality, similar tastes, intelligence,
body language, whatever.
It's actually more involved than this, but let's leave
it at that for the purposes of my argument.
Get to the point why thumb
sucking makes you the
uber mensch and save us
all 50,000 words.
I am the sexual emperor of
this world. I'm not doing that
at all. First, let's lay out the fact
that every single thing that happens
happens for boaters. Now let's
focus on why thumb. I hate
it.
Hey, Mozart.
What's up? You're gonna hate this
more. Suffice it to say that
our attractions span the rainbow from the superficial appearance to the more complex.
The interplay of personality characteristics and the history we've experienced with each other.
Sure.
I'm sure that Larry finds many things attractive in a woman.
Who's Larry?
It doesn't matter.
One of these things, apparently, is that she sucks her thumb.
Wait a minute.
It probably is not essential that she does so.
If it was, we'd be talking more along the lines of a fetish.
We would be, because we're certainly not now.
This definitely doesn't sound like fetish lingo at this point.
What you guys don't understand is that in sociology, we always...
You know there's the id, the ego, and the superego?
But in sociology, they call it the curly, the Larry, and the Mo.
Flying out to Toronto, you're getting a high five for that.
flying out to Toronto you're getting a high five for that
our Mo keeps
our Curly and our Larry
in show
while our Curly
wants to oh disobey
the Mo's cultural
implications
program
while the Larry is an amazing physical comedian
and does the best takes to camera.
Once we get to the shemp, we...
But if she does suck her thumb, he finds that attractive.
What are the underlying psychodynamics?
I propose that his preferences aren't much different than, say,
another man's predilection for big-breasted women,
although allures aren't necessarily exclusive.
It's true that standard cultural values, I am completely insufferable.
Jack, Jack, that metaphor is terrible, but I think it can get worse.
I think it can probably get worse, so please skip a paragraph
and make your metaphor even worse.
Oh, my God.
To the old phrase?
Today.
Today. Oh my god. To the old phrase, today. Today.
Oh no.
Hang on,
I need a shot of whiskey.
Take two, Jack.
And so does the listener.
So tonight I'm drinking Corner Creek.
If you are listening to this,
I highly recommend you do that as well.
I'm Ricky.
Now, Jack Chick,
is Corner Creek a
law firm? No,
it's a whiskey.
Law won't help you
here, boy. Alright, alright.
Today, a white person's
sexual preference for a black person
is not frowned upon, but near the contempt
as in days past. This type of
history has occurred with many groups.
I propose that a similar mechanism underlies
the example here.
I want to read
this guy's Next Generation
fan script, where the
Thumbsucker explains to Riker that
on my culture we used to
persecute these people.
Of course, the
analogy is somewhat laughable in that no one
is complaining that the rights of adult Thumbs suckers are being hindered in any way.
Still, what is analogous is the fact that there are societal stigmas that get associated with the habit.
Try sucking your thumb whenever you want to, and you'll see that at least an undue amount of attention will be focused your way for a while.
The point is, perhaps as an adult thumb sucking becomes more widely known, it's
natural that some out there will find it
an endearing quality in some person, just
like other aspects of our personage
that are either liked or disliked.
Isn't this a form of social acceptance?
This site often shocks
those who view it, but also educates.
For the adult thumb sucker,
this site has been liberating.
And in the case of Larry, the fact that he has felt solitude in his thumb...
Who the fuck is Larry?
All of his adult life, it's certainly understandable that among all the feelings that are engendered
when he sees it in another for the first time, the feeling of attraction will be one of them.
Black is beautiful.
Translurns into adult thumb sucking is beautiful.
Yeah! Yeah, wow. Guys, we got there. One of them. Black is beautiful. Translurns into adult thumb sucking is beautiful. Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Guys, we got there.
We did it.
And finally we have reached the promised land.
We did.
We all did it together.
I am somehow even grossed out by what I'm talking about.
You know, when I'm having trouble writing sometimes, like I run into writer's block
and I think all I need to do is just get as embarrassed as this white person
and i would just write yeah yeah exactly just just plow past that like like feel feel so much shame
that shame no longer has a meaning like yeah exactly do nothing, don't process your shame. Don't analyze it.
Don't turn it into self-confidence.
Turn it into words.
Turn it into just pure words.
So speaking of that, Adam.
Yes.
If you'll scroll down just a little bit there to Jonandra?
Jonandra, maybe.
Jon and Ra.
Jon and Jon and Ra.
The Groud Ra.
Jon Stewart and Ra.
The Rugged Man.
While I think it's sexual
by Jonandra, I find While I think it's sexual By Janandra
I find thumb sucking
Sensual
Sexual
Erotic
Comforting
Calming
I was recently discussing
With a non-thumb sucker
That a certain
Je ne sais quoi
That someone sucking the thumb has Je ne sais quoi je ne sais quoi that someone's sucking the thumb has.
Je ne sais quoi.
Je ne sais quoi.
Je ne sais quoi.
Je ne sais quoi.
I'm an American.
It's like catching someone at the most vulnerable,
partly because of its social taboo.
It can even be slightly naughty,
but I don't view it as naughty.
Not really, but it is an exciting thought to me
to perhaps one day catch someone else thumb-sucking.
Ooh, yeah.
Thumb-sucking.
Oh, yeah.
You want to be like a thumb-sucking voyeur. Hey, yeah. Thumbsucking. Oh, yeah. You want to be like a thumbsucking boyer.
Hey, what are you doing?
Oh, me and my sisters are just sucking our thumbs.
Oh, yeah?
Don't mind me.
Thumbsucking provides sensations around the mouth and nose
that can be reproduced during sex or love play.
Sure, but lots of sensations around the mouth and nose can be reproduced during sex or love play.
I mean, hypothetically, you could fuck somebody while picking their nose.
You just gotta smash your face into skin and that pretty much does it.
Why are you describing sex right now?
and that pretty much does it.
Why are you describing sex right now?
Because I thought that's what this podcast was about,
talking about having sex.
Pretty much.
Talking about having sex would be a much better title anyway.
It feels nice, smells nice, tickles, pleasure centers.
It provides the sensations of skin to skin warmth that I think
every one of us craves.
Someone
sometimes it's better
to just sit back and relax
sharing a skin to skin
contact moment in a significant
of his arms while thumb
sucking. It's sensual.
It's intimate.
How did you make that so fucking creepy?
Are you sucking somebody else's thumb?
Are you both sucking your thumbs and holding hands?
I don't know, but it's also
sensual and sexual.
I find myself
sucking my thumb after sex
much like I might grab
for a cigarette.
I only recently picked up
the habit of smoking.
That's weird because I would assume you have quite the oral fixation.
Yeah, I'm 17.
But I think that thumb sucking is by far more satisfying and truly far less addicting.
But that doesn't make any sense.
If it were less addicting, we wouldn't have all these guys talking about how they've been doing it their entire lives.
Yeah, they've been doing it their entire lives, and it's like their primary motivating factor.
And none of them want to quit.
No.
And definitely far less damaging, at least for me.
Thumb sucking is shown little sign of affecting my health or appearance.
Quite honestly, I didn't find out about how much I found finger and thumb sucking an exciting part of foreplay and sex until I was 23.
I discovered my mouth at 22.
I discovered my mouth at 22.
Yeah, I get that.
I can't imagine what you did in that intervening year.
A lot of glory hole, apparently. I did a lot of glory hole stuff and ate everything with my butt.
The last piece here The last piece out of the erotic category
And you're welcome
Thank you
Thank you once again to Captain LaserPants
For all of this goddamn pain
But the last piece out of the erotic category
Is called
Because everyone on this site is terrific at naming things,
Why Thumb Sucking is Erotic by Anonymous.
Yay!
So, Boots, if you'll take it, and it's long, so, you know, skip at your leisure.
Okay.
Yeah.
Why Thumb Sucking is Erotic by Anonymous.
That's me.
Your voice is erotic.
Thank you.
Yeah, it is.
Love you, Boots.
Love you.
I suck my thumb for the usual reasons, tension, relief, you know, to go to sleep.
It feels good.
But I notice that other contributors here suck their thumb because it also feels erotic.
And I have to say, I agree.
There are many articles written on the internet and elsewhere
that describe why people suck their thumb,
but little on its erotic aspect.
So I want to delve into that.
Oh yeah, there certainly has been little on that.
It's really undercover.
Again, 1999.
So I want to delve into that more,
just because hardly anyone else has.
Please don't.
Yeah, it's like I'm two people, this erotic thing.
That's a sentence.
It's like I'm two people, this erotic thing.
That's a great sentence.
You fucking win the sentence award of the year.
Well, I gladly accept it.
I can find myself sucking just because it's sort of like a posture.
I guess you'd refer to that as a habit.
And when I do so...
Are these back lyrics?
And when I do so,
habitually... Dude, thumb suck is like a posture.
I'm too sexual,
people.
It's like I'm too people,
this erotic thing.
I can find myself sucking
just because it's like a posture.
Wait, Beck released songs after 1998?
Yes, Mr. Metal, he did.
I was like more of a meatloaf there.
I don't know much, but I know I'm a loser.
You're like the evil angel on the shoulder of the metal guy.
And now we're doing it.
How far are we doing this? That's not better. angel on the shoulder of the metal guy. And now we're doing a thing for a
thumbsucking.
That's not better. Why did you need to add that?
Wait, wait, wait. Pause
the podcast. I got a joke to make here.
I would do anything for
thumbs.
Everybody, listen
to me.
Alright. So it's obvious Everybody, listen to me. Alright, alright, alright.
So it's obvious that I've learned to associate my thumb sucking with something sexual.
Yeah, that is obvious.
Yeah.
First off, there's the lips.
I think most people can understand why lips can be very erotic.
I don't want to get into heavy psychology.
The heavy psychology of why lips are sexual.
Yep.
When I like my psychology, I like it to be heavy.
But let's face it, lips are sexy,
especially full lips, parted ever so slightly.
They're like an invitation to something exciting.
Sure, like the Rocky Horror Picture Show
He said exciting
That's the word for it
Like the first third of the Rocky Horror Picture Show
There's a lot of meatloaf all of a sudden happening here
They call for an entering of sorts, like a door to the soul.
The teeth hiding just enough to inspire curiosity.
When I see a woman's full lips open just a bit, my tongue gets an irrepressible urge to explore her sweet mouth.
But then I'm a sexual predator.
But then I'm a sexual predator.
I suppose for me, it's an identity thing.
For you, if you understand where I'm coming from, great.
But maybe it's something else.
But the thought of my tongue lashing deeply behind those bulbous,
protrusive, soft and sweet lips fills me with feelings that defy boundaries.
Hey guys, I definitely like sex.
Oh my god, so gross. When I see a woman's sexy mouth, I want to sex her mouth with my mouth sex.
Huh?
Internet?
High five!
Cool, somebody understands me. High five! Cool. Somebody understands me.
Grossest!
Adding just enough carnal spice to confuse me,
leaving me in a state where I'm no longer aware
of where she ends and where I begin.
In a sense, I feel like I've become her.
So do you, like, take carnal spice
and, like, process it into mortar and pestle?
Oh, please, for God's sakes, please skip two paragraphs.
Oh, let me just give you some nouns from the paragraphs in between.
Okay.
Okay.
Teeth, bucketness, meld.
Right.
Collage.
Sexual elation.
Sexual elation.
Phallus-like.
What about obvious... A calloused thumb.
What about obvious bucketness?
That's what I said already.
Pure isle spelled wrong.
Don't say bucketness.
A phallus-like object.
Woman's frame, arch, flesh-colored.
Okay.
Her compulsion, her requirement, her urgency.
Pure I'll need.
Okay.
Fuck!
I want her thumb to feel comfortable in my mouth as I experience once again her essence.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
Her habit is mine.
experience once again her essence her habit is mine i picture myself alternating between she and me she behind me hugging closely following the contours of my body head to toe slightly her
chest to my back again ignoring proper boundaries as she shares our bed together okay where so i
want to do a little thought experiment okay let me let me do it. Like, for the listeners,
so just look at somebody, if you're out and you're listening to the podcast, just look at somebody
right now and just imagine they wrote this.
See, I always listen to the podcast
when I'm shopping, so that's a really bad idea.
No, I guess, try not to hit them.
Try not to hit them.
I listen to this podcast on the bus,
so... So it's possible.
Yeah.
She sucks her thumb unconsciously while
asleep, but I'm there instead.
Her face pushed closely behind
my head into my long hair.
So she'll find instead
my mouth as her thumb pushes
its way in, without thought,
seeking a position it knows
too well and I picture doing
the same to her both of us
intractably entwined
habituating ourselves
like she's trying to suck her thumb
and you just like hijack in the middle of it
no that's mine
habituating ourselves
this is the worst poetry ever
it is thank you
no that's coming soon
habituating ourselves
to something not
something now new
but eventuating into something more than
natural something hard to break
eventuating
eventuating
yes after some eventualization
distrust you need to make sure that you get Yes, after some eventualization.
Distressity. You need to make sure that you get
your eventuality in track.
I feel her
tongue pumping suction against
my thumb, her teeth
resting securely against skin, forming
a callus on my thumb,
leaving her impression,
her saliva's smell,
her slithery tongue washing me clean, absorbing me into her impression, her saliva's smell, her slithery tongue
washing me clean, absorbing me into her body,
blending identities again
in another new way.
I feel needed. I feel close.
I feel want. I feel isolated with her,
protected within our
new borders.
Oh, so you started your own country for this.
You probably have to.
Come, let us escape!
Somehow, this made me lose my UK citizenship.
Combine liquid floating for the moment
in a world where we both accept
for ourselves...
Sorry, for our both accept for ourselves.
Sorry, for ourself and for ourselves.
So that piece, once again, was titled Why Thumbsucking is Erotic by Anonymous.
So I really think that he got to the heart of the matter.
Yeah, I know.
He explained it.
There was a moment in it cuz it cuz there was a moment in
there where like it kind of took me as
like as like maybe it was um like trying
like he was he was trying to convince
himself but then I dismissed that idea
because he got entirely too carried away
with it yes he did that poem or that section again, was about the eroticism of thumb sucking.
But the next section that Captain Laserpants has here is called Poetry!
Yay!
Yes!
Yay.
So, you know, we know where to end an episode on.
So, Jay, this poem was sent in by Eric.
Thanks for your effort, Eric.
When it's time to go to bed from a very stressful day,
after all my clothes are off and on my bed I lay,
I smile as I think of what I'm about to do,
that all throughout my day I have been looking forward to.
Thank you for coming to the poetry slam.
Not enough people support local poets.
Exactly.
Fantastic scansion.
Now, I'm in no hurry for these moments are all mine.
No one tell me to hurry up, so I think I'll take my time.
I slowly lick my lips to get them nice and wet while my tongue helps out inside my mouth to help me get all set.
Instinctively, my fingers bend to make my thumb stick straight.
It moves so swiftly to my mouth, no longer can I wait.
Fuck you.
So naturally, it goes all in in Smooth as smooth can be
It's as if the day has not been right
Cause it wasn't there in me
No different than a baby that sucks its mother's breast
I have no choice but to start to suck
While on my pillow I rest
Fuck you
Fuck you
So many syllables
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Siamic Contaminer Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. So many syllables. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Siamic pentameter.
Oh, this is Siamic pentameter.
I never knew what this can do. Let me hear the rose on top of my nose so natural to me.
While rhythmically I softly suck and sigh contentedly.
Magically my saliva sweetness as if to reinforce that those who don't are missing something nature does
endorse that's right i fall asleep so rapidly my thumb deep in my mouth it's just too bad i have
this gift that's so hard to talk about thank you very much make sure to tip your bartenders
we'll be back at the open mic next week.
Okay, so the next week's poetry night,
we're going to cancel it.
We're thinking of, I don't know,
maybe we'll try to do a trivia or something. No, more thumb poems.
Yeah, no, I mean...
More thumb poems.
We know you're that guy's boyfriend.
More thumb poems. More thumb poems. We know you're that guy's boyfriend. More thumb poems.
More thumb poems?
If you want more thumb poems, please visit my website.
Alright, alright.
We got another thumb poem.
Thumb-poems.info
We got another thumb poem.
It's from Adam Bozarth, and it's called
The Jewel.
Might be written by Jewel. Who knows?
Hold on a second. There it is.
There's something dumb about sucking your thumb
much past the age of three, they'd say.
But when suddenly eight, it's awfully late.
What are you going to be
They'd say
So I started to hide
From time to bide
But soon I was a teen
What woeful plight
What could have been right
Or perhaps were they only mean
But twenties now past
Wife, jobs, kids at last, and being
is what I do. My computer
will hum, me still sucking
my thumb.
Though now I'm a grown-up, it's true.
The 20s past wife, kids, jobs.
Shooter will, huh?
Stop. Stop.
Just stop.
Alright, fine.
Fine. Jack Shack, you think you can do better?
Yeah, I do. You think you can do better? Fine.
Then take Kim P.
Montreal QC
whatever that means. That's Quebec. I got this shit.
Oh, okay. Dude, prepare to have your
minds fucking blown. Okay.
Prepared.
Unlike most children,
I hated being tucked into bed
at night. Don't suck
your thumb, she'd say, you'll get
an overbite. But the
second the door closed and my
mom was out of sight,
my thumb would enter my mouth.
It just felt right.
She told me that my thumb would become deformed, but I wasn't scared.
So I continued sucking even when my teachers stared.
Okay, yeah, that was fucking, yeah, right there.
That couplet existed from the dawn of language, and you were the one to unlock it.
The bitter nail polish didn't work at all.
I just took it off with a moist cotton ball.
I should inform you it's enjoyable even with braces.
Why did all my orthodentists have such bitter faces?
Orthodentist.
I'm both a dentist and an orthodontist.
That's how it works.
Double specialty.
At age 18, the best line did come.
Will you walk down the aisle sucking your thumb?
To deal with stress, Some people do yoga or vacation
down south. No,
they don't.
All I need to do
is simply open my
mouth. Oh, nice.
It's a little vacation
I can take. I'll do it
forever. However,
after all, how should anyone
care? As long
as I live, my mouth
and thumb are a pair.
Boo.
ECW. Still a better
poem than the other ones?
Some fucking how?
Scantian.
I read it, but it's not good. It's terrible.
Yeah, no. Okay, well,
excuse me.
I was sitting in my office
on a stressful day.
My wife called to tell me
she was running away.
My boss was yelling loudly
and threatening my job.
I had reached my wit's end
and was getting ready to sob.
I scrambled for my cigs,
but the pack was all through.
The scotch bottle was empty.
Oh, what was I to do?
He sucked his thumb.
He sucked his nasty thumb.
He sucked his thumb.
It was a gross thumb.
My mental defenses were crumbling,
now like sand, when suddenly
in front of me, I noticed
my hand. At first, I just
stared at it, and the fingers
five, ooh, that's gonna be a problem,
here we go, then my thumb
softly called my name as if
it were alive.
Louder and
louder,
the voice was now a shout.
If you need friends right now,
just put me in your mouth.
My thumb slowly moved towards
me as if assailing shit,
and before I could reason why,
it was stuck between my lips! I sucked
my thumb!
He sucked on his thumb.
I sucked my thumb!
Really dumb.
Oh, I've only got two more verses.
Here we go.
I can't believe what happened then.
I really wish that I could,
but my brain not thinking well
was mired in the mood.
I often knew it felt so good.
It made me think back years
when I was a child so young.
No worry and no fears.
Okay, stop it. When I was a child so young, no worry and no fears. Do-do-do-do.
Stop it.
That's the end of the poem.
I felt so calm, so well at ease.
My thoughts just floated free. I dreamt in my boyhood new.
Oh, my God.
My boyhood new.
I dreamt was in my boyhood home upon my mother's knee.
Yeah, you fucking do that.
Our small white dog, my father's pipe,
the smell of apple pie.
I stayed like that with thumb and mouth.
The hours really flew.
You skipped a line.
Yeah, you skipped a line.
That's your fault.
What?
You skipped the sigh.
Wait, what?
The thoughts of wondrous house.
Come on.
That house is wondrous, and you're neglecting the entire life.
Yeah, it's a wondrous house.
It's good.
Oh, I'm going to skip a little bit.
So if life sets you back one day, then take it in your wrong your stride.
And this advice, please follow.
No need to run and hide.
No need to
in screaming. No need
for bitter tears. Just probably
lick and slurp your thumb. Your ills
will disappear. I suck my thumb!
Yeah!
You suck his filthy thumb.
Thumb sucking good.
Hi! Hi, I'm Scott.
Hi, Scott. What's up?
I'm too far away from my 7th grade English class
to remember how many syllables per line a limerick has.
But this seems about right.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes when I've had
a really hard day
and nothing seems to go my way,
I pop my thumb
in my mouth. All my way. Nope. I pop my thumb in my mouth.
All my problems head south.
Limerick.
Then I realize everything is going to be okay.
Nope, not a limerick.
Nope.
Oh my god.
Survey says, uh-uh.
I'm too far away from my class to remember.
Like, I don't know how anything works.
I love that.
It's that thing where you try to make up dirty lyrics for a song,
and then any time you use the word mouth,
the only destination you can go to is south.
Like, I put the cock in my mouth and looked from north to south.
It's the only thing
you're stuck with.
It's the
if you end up doing heaven
you're just going to go 11.
Yes.
Or 7.
So F+, what did we
learn from this?
The thumb sucking is very sexy.
Mm.
Can we just, like, put the cricket sound in here?
You know, I, so, here's, it wasn't, like, sexy.
No.
All the time.
It was, but I was always relaxing.
Yeah.
You know, like, it was, it was not explicitly erotic all the time
some creeps made it weird yeah but other times it was just like it's the only thing that calms
me down i can't like i i have to live alone because i have to do it well so i mean i've
actually dated a thumb sucker and it's absolutely like a comfort thing no no no okay so so just
just briefly.
So was she a person that sucked her thumb?
Like, was she obsessed with sucking her thumb?
No, it was just like a thing.
Like, it was like...
Did you catch her doing it or something?
No, I mean, she wasn't ashamed of it.
It was just a thing that she did.
It was sort of like, you know.
Like, yeah, I suck my thumb.
It's kind of a source of comfort.
I mean, like, you'd look over and then all of a sudden her thumb would be in her mouth.
But did she write poems about sucking her thumb?
No, no, no, no.
So she wasn't serious about it.
She was fucked up and damaged in other ways because, I mean, I'm not going to date a normal girl. No, no.
I know your track record.
Yeah, exactly.
I know your track record.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I mean, that actually, I felt like that was the thing, because this reading here was Jack Chick's suggestion.
And at first I was not super sure about it,
because I was like, well, you know, what really is the drama?
It's sort of like ice chewing.
Like, what really is the drama?
What really is the intrigue?
like ice chewing, like what really is the drama?
What really is the intrigue?
Like what's, and then like the layers of insanity to this were way deeper than I would imagine
from just what to me seems like a habit.
Like it's not terrible.
I'm not terrible for sucking my thumb.
No, you're not.
So what the fuck are you doing?
Well, I think this website like kind of has two layers here
in that there's people writing in who are, youuckers that are maybe kind of trying to find a community and justifying what they do.
And then there's also fetishists writing in and sexualizing everything.
So it's kind of a weird intermingling of the two.
Well, yeah, because it's always going to be the fetishist that starts the website anyways.
Yeah.
Because who else is going to?
You know, one of the things about this,
it's like,
it's,
this website's from like 1999 and like we were reading all those messages from
people who like saw the,
this website on like extra or something like that.
And I feel like this is probably just a relic of early proto social media of
people finding each other
in that sort of like oh you do the same
thing that I do that I feel like I can't
talk about it's like the kind of
very beginnings of seeing it
and now everybody is just like
well I fuck this hole and that
hole and I paint myself like this
and I have these tattoos
and I color my hair this way and I'm just this
but like this is the very beginning of everybody discovering
that we're all weird and fucked up.
Yeah, that discovery has gotten so much cheaper
that it's probably less exciting.
I remember very early on we did one about the inflation fetishes
and there was just people that were gathered together
around that one Missy Elliott video.
That was the mega man video. Holy shit. That's the Mega Man video.
Holy shit.
Like that was the thing that bounded them together.
I never thought of that.
That makes so much sense.
The website, as always, T-H-E-F-P-L dot U-S.
In addition to LeftHandRadio.com and I don't even own a television.com.
All of all fine podcasts to listen to.
Boots, what's the forum?
It's Ball Pit.
Does that have a website or anything?
Well, that's ballp.it.
It's our forum.
Any threads you've liked on there recently?
Threads I've liked on there recently?
Because I'll tell you one.
There was one where Jack Chick has gone through Dozer Fleet.
That's true. Dozer Fleet. If you haven't heard the Dozer Fleet. That's true.
Dozer Fleet, if you haven't heard the Dozer Fleet episode, go ahead.
But he started
doing recipes.
And Jack Chick is now taking it upon
himself to make and eat
for some reason these recipes.
So I will say this.
I had a bunch of leftovers
from the first one I did and they
were actually a solid brick.
Did you say solid brick or solid prick?
A solid brick of...
No, brick as in the masonry of spaghetti.
So that's a thing that I put in my body.
Damn it.
Anyway, thanks for listening
Maybe you should buy some shit
Bye-bye
Bye
Bye, thanks
Bye
Who wants a suck of my thumb?
Me
Me
Me
Who wants a suck of my thumb
When I'm sailing on the sea?
It tastes lovely in the daytime but it tastes even better at night so who wants a suck of my thumb it's the tastiest suck in sight
this animated gif,
there's a bunch of, like, you know, attractive
women, and then all of a sudden there's, like, some metal
dude.
Wait, really?
There's, like, a shirtless metal dude in acid-washed
jeans, and he's grabbing his crotch and
sucking his thumb.
That's my boy right there.
Oh, you met Tony.
It's a bunch of attractive women
sucking their thumb and then Duff McKagan.
Yeah!