The F Plus - 219: Teens Talkin Trash On Gaia Online
Episode Date: July 8, 2016With over 28 million members and 13 years of history, Gaia Online could accurately be called one of the most popular forums on the internet. It's central feature is a gamification effort where me...mbers can dress up their paper-doll avatars with bits and baubles while they discuss their favorite animes or (in the case of this episode) the troubles with feminism and the right way to sell your panties online. This week, I'm nawt sure wut slip'n'slope wuz supposed ta b dere wen child touchin' hath been Mohammad-san's way o' lyfe 4 over a millenia.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
They really run your family with pocket full of shells.
Um, all right.
Uh, anyway, um.
Why they run your family with a pocket full of shells?
Why is he talking in baby talk?
I never, never, never wanna be young again.
This is the F Plus Podcast, a very grown-up and adult place for terrible things, revs, enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Reign here.
Are most Americans just on welfare?
It's not just Americans I see on welfare, but Mexicans too.
Are most Americans just on welfare?
It's fun.
How can I make him give me attention and not his stupid new friends?
Nutshell Gulag!
Lately, my sister and I have not been getting along that well.
We've been playing pranks on each other, okay?
So she shortchanged my bed, and I decided to switch her birth control pills with tiny tarts!
Oh my god.
Jimmy Franks!
Well, could someone explain why in the hell it tastes like gross old sausage?
And lemon.
Many 70-year-olds claim they still feel 40 or below because the human brain doesn't age.
Sounds legit.
What?
The human brain doesn't age.
Dementia does not exist.
Hey, F+.
Hey, Lemon.
Oh, hi, Lemon.
I didn't see you there.
I snuck up on you.
Boo!
How familiar are you all with the concept of internet forums?
Oh, that's what all the kids are talking about these days.
Yeah, they're really into that.
I think it's what's called social media or something.
I don't know.
Those millennials are always...
Is that the place where I went when I had that thing stuck in my butt
and I needed some advice on how to get it out?
No, that was a prostitute, Jimmy Franks.
So I want to tell you about a... Prostologist.
It was a prostitute.
That's a good business card.
I want to tell you about
an exciting community that's existed
for many, many years.
And it is called Gaia
Online.
Gaia Online, huh?
Gaia Online.
You know, feel free to feign as much ignorance as you like but
we've crossed paths yeah online before uh yeah so gaia online uh is a forum uh that's been around
for boy like 15 years something like that um and they were basically i i want to say, I'm going to say this anyway. They were the first people to gamify forums
where the central conceit of Gaia is that, you know,
it's supposed to appeal to tweens.
And each poster on the forum has an avatar.
And then their avatar, like, you can buy clothes for them.
And then you can, like, level like level up and like do all of that
stuff and for for dick measuring purposes right for for dick measuring purposes and you know you
pay it costs your parents credit cards so uh so i think it's a it's a cool community uh and it's a
community uh that we're going to learn a little bit more about. Document submitted by Kanye Sutro.
This is the second of his that we're reading.
Nice name.
And this document is entitled,
Teens Talking Trash on Gaia Online.
Yeah.
It's to the heart of the matter.
Mm-hmm.
All right, so we're going to start out with part one of this document, and part one is called,
We Are All Super Smart.
I don't think a form full of
teenagers has ever had that conceit before.
So
I'll start this off here. My name is Michael
Noir. Falling off the
slippery slope. Furries.
The new transgender.
Right?
Okay.
Okay.
Getting right into it. start to size about three
minutes i've been experiencing this for some time people in the left love the notion of the slippery
slope being a fallacy sure i argued over the years that it was a theoretical model with accuracy, not fallacy. First it was the gays.
Then the transgenders. Now the
furries. At some point, the furry
movement will become
the mainstream argument
topic of elective surgery,
cannibalism, bestiality, and so forth.
Nope. And that's
definitely a place they want to be, right?
It's a complicated sentence.
A lot to unpack there.
Along the way, someone is going to make fuck arguments.
But child rapists are far off in the future.
None exist today.
And they're coming.
Certainly none on these very forums.
Are they time traveling?
I guess, yeah.
I better bury a note for them in my backyard. No, they're light years away,
so, you know, we need to make plans.
Today, we see the sunset of the gay movement.
What?
The noon of the transgender movement
and the dawn of the furry.
I hated the remake of Dawn of the Furry.
Absolutely.
Absolutely. Yeah, no, I posted of the Sphinx. Absolutely.
Yeah, no, I posted this in... I can't tell.
Oh, 3.9 weeks ago.
So yeah, this is valid.
Biological medicine will inevitably,
in the next 5 to 25 years,
make these arguments more than just costumes
and behavior patterns.
They will become physical realities.
You already know about the animal-human hybrid experiments to harvest organs and so forth.
So if there's a brundle fly machine with a human and a stuffed animal.
It's coming. It's coming.
It's coming.
Scientists have waited for this for years.
But before any of that becomes mainstream cosmetics
and men running around barking
while tweens beg their parents for neko ears,
neko ears, whatever,
we are going to see,
what we are going to see
is the third wave of social justice warriors defending these hybrids.
I suppose we can call them people,
but at that point, you can't really call them humans anymore.
Are they freaks?
Are they monsters?
Are they anime fantasies or badly written internet fiction manifests as reality?
Are they an aspect of the bondage culture, primitive nature, or just plain stupidity?
Are they stupidity?
Are they stupidity?
Just plain stupidity.
Oh.
What are the impacts on human rights, comma, for animals?
What happens if one of these things parents a child? What would happen?
What would happen?
Is there a line to be drawn?
And if so, where do we draw it?
And Jimmy Franks, you are Texadar there.
You have a response for me.
Man, you Yanks sure are sheltered.
It's just some fetish play.
Not some prologue to transgender, fluid, anthropomorphic,
or mephrodite Welsh Corgi invaders that seek to eradicate and or fuck everything
and restore the Empire to its former glory.
The Empire?
What Empire is that?
The Galactic Empire from the Star Wars.
Oh, of course, of course.
I forgot I was on the internet for a moment.
Excuse me.
Hello.
My name is Weartender, and I've got something to, I guess, say.
Weartender?
Weartender.
I am a man during the day, but at night I turn into a crappy dating app.
I'm guessing it's probably pronounced Tindere.
Tindere?
Oh, yeah.
Anyway, what do you have to say?
Yeah, but I'm now sure what slip and slope was supposed to be
when child touching Hath been Mohammed Sands' way of life
for over a millennia.
Oh, I think we need to switch out the batteries on this one.
No tranny bros dare,
but if da exceptin' O
fuck meant to start a slippin' slope of allowin' furries,
I've been lookin' number four it,
but it seems da reverse never happens.
Da Basement dwella,
which was my
personal favorite ICP album,
might,
might, as in tiny,
the tiny insect that bites you, still
remain da most
hated minority
the zero.
The basement dweller is a minority?
Yeah. Okay. The most dweller is a minority? Yeah.
Okay.
The most hated.
Well, outside these forums.
I should make a slip and slope.
Oh, how that would tie into all of this.
Here's a least, oh, eight-year-old baby mammoths.
So, yeah.
That's food for thought right there.
This reads like Christopher Walken talking into a speech-to-text software.
I just want to say that you ended with,
here's a list of eight-year-old baby mamas,
and I was like, oh, that's interesting.
I would very much like to know more about that.
And when you click that, you get a giant, giant impact font,
white on red, that says,
You're leaving Gaia Online!
Abandon all hope ye who leave here.
Yeah, to go to Wikipedia.
Yeah, exactly.
So much less intellect there.
Don't go to Wikipedia.
They say wrong things and argue a lot.
I am God, Emperor Baldur.
Oh, boy, you sound fun.
Yeah, as a furry, I think this. Oh, boy, you sound fun.
Yeah, as a furry, I think this is fuck, fuck, ridiculous.
Okay, sure.
That's what I think.
That's all you think? That's the only thing you think?
Well, you know, about that,
you're a communist first, furry second.
Didn't your overleader tell you that?
What?
When the Porgrom includes furries, they will
inform you. Pogrom.
Pogrom. Pogrom.
They will inform you of
your vaccine. Of course,
the pogrom doesn't include
furries. They will inform
you of where to line up
for the buses to get to the nearest
vaccine location for your
safety.
So you just got slapped around.
Michael Noir writes like a pundit talking head in a poorly written sci-fi show.
Like near future.
Okay, I got to write stupider than Ann Coulter.
Fuck, this is hard.
Azomagia responds to my statement that this is ridiculous, saying,
I wonder what 2 Griffin would think of this.
I don't.
I'm depressed now.
I like what
God Emperor Balder says in response to that.
I'm not a communist, you're just a schizophrenic.
No, fair enough.
How do these people know all this stuff about
each other?
This must be some kind of ongoing slap fight.
They're all the same person.
Oh.
It's sock puppets all the way down.
So we're going to go into another thread here,
and this thread is called Evil on the Rise.
Is a war about to rage?
In a nutshell, you are Jahaja Lightworker.
Oh my god. You have
2700 points. You have
100 points and boy, you
just have all sorts of
fucking trophies and shit.
Yeah, you're the best at Gaia
online. You've got 300
points in forum software.
What do you have to say?
Hello, Edie.
I am here once again to speak to you of evil portents.
A few days ago, Prince Rogers Nelson, known professionally as Prince, was murdered.
What does that you say?
He was not murdered?
I'm sorry, but he was.
I was trying to get to that, yes.
I'm sorry, but he was. I was trying to get to that, yes.
It was dark forces who controlled this worship of the ancient deity Baal,
as well as the birthday of Elizabeth of Alexandra Mary Windsor Mountbatten,
known professionally as Queen Elizabeth II of Britain.
The House of Windsor is among the forces of the elite to control this world.
His death was a sacrifice for what I do not know,
perhaps for power, for strength, for the elites.
That is not all, my sister brothers.
As we refugees rush into Europe,
causing conflicts with the native people,
the gates of Baal are going up all over the world
for the sake of historical preservation.
It portends wicked things to come, my
sister brothers. Soon, I predict
a major conflict to rise.
Blood shall pour through the
Middle East and streets in Europe.
Blood shall pour
through the Middle East. Okay.
That's what I said. Any
day now, that might start happening.
That would be an upsetting thing.
In America, racial tensions rage with the rise of Black Lives Matter.
While people divide themselves more and more over politics,
they look to the candidates for president for help.
Nope!
It's a fool's game!
Well, okay, fair enough.
Whoever becomes president is just a puppet of the elites.
It matters not who's establishment or an outsider.
The result is all the same.
Conflict is coming.
Rage is coming.
You must prepare, my sister brothers.
You must break the control of the elites.
Educate yourselves and break the shackles of slavery.
Rage is coming? Rage is coming.
Yeah. Rage was
released like two years ago.
Maybe it's a Rage Against the Machine
reunion tour? Oh, really?
Okay, I mean, sure.
Yes, but without Zack DeLaRocca, so...
Jimmy Franks.
Yeah. What have you
noticed about
Barack Obama
is it that he hates child labor
or
is it that he subsidizes the
African slave trade
he has to hate child labor
I would hope so
but you know
Guy Online is really the definitive proof here.
So your name is Jacques de Molay, and you are the cat in the hat.
That probably cost you a lot of money.
Probably.
Mike Myers gets a piece of your avatar.
Bonjour, this is Jacques Desmoulins.
Okay.
Barack Obama signed a bill banning goods made by child labor.
The American GDP is going to be reduced if this is enforced
because a bill that excludes child labor cuts the United States off
from most of the world's produced goods and bars us from trade.
Isn't capitalism about being free to buy and sell anything?
Trade should be voluntary.
If the United States doesn't engage in child labor, then the free market is done.
Wow, there's some interesting leaps you're making here, Jacques de Molay.
Wow.
The cost to American citizens for our goods is only going to rise.
Zoot a laws.
Sacre bleu.
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
President Obama says
that his decision
was the right thing to do,
but what about the child laborer
you have now just put out of work?
He's going to have to go on the dole.
His child wife will divorce him.
He's been forced into early retirement.
If the child laborer doesn't work, then he or she won't have enough to eat.
See, every time I try to do an accident, it turns into Count Chocula.
Who are we to be blind pretending not to see their needs?
Blah!
This choice harms families.
This choice harms industries.
This choice also harms international trade.
America can easily recover from this loss
if we bring back child labor and raise our GDP exponentially.
But what will other countries do?
They don't have the luxury that we do to limit trade.
They're not producing enough.
Yeah, they can accept loans from the Chinese, but how
would I pay back any of it if the loan exceeds their
GDP?
Wow, okay, it's like you're having
two debates at
the same time.
And they're just colliding with each other.
Boots, take Zyom
really quick there, please.
Zyom. Chom. Yeah quick there, please. Zyom.
Chom.
Yeah, Chom.
I'm Chom.
I was under the impression that child labor was abolished in our country years ago.
To support it in other countries would be a hypocrisy, wouldn't it?
And, uh, so we have a little bit of back and forth there on the guy online board.
And then, Jimmy Franks, you wrote a post there saying, I'm not your enemy.
I'm not your enemy.
Let's stay friendly.
Children aren't property, but they are financial investments that are time intensive.
Oh, you got more foreign since your last post.
They are financial investments that are time intensive and can cost a lot of money
by the time they reach maturity.
I just don't think it's fair
to put yourself into a financial hole
as a parent and not gain any revenue
from the expenses that come from parenting.
You have interesting ideas
about why people have kids.
It's a good precedent for children to honor their parents by easing their way into retirement.
What?
Words mean things.
It's a good precedent for children that...
So all these foreign child laborers and their elderly parents...
Are they suffocating their parents with a pillow?
Is that what's happening?
Is that easing them into retirement?
Their children can do the same for them, too,
and their children become adults and forever.
So not only should child labor be acceptable,
but there literally should be nothing but child labor.
Yeah.
And it's like, well, the only way to move up into the company
is to kill your parents.
And then when you have kids, they will eventually kill you.
It's kind of like Looper.
This is a good sci-fi book.
Yeah.
Hey, Esfahan.
Yes.
Here's something that I've noticed about this episode.
I've been reading some people here on Gaia Online,
specifically in the sort of like,
it looks like we're in the politics thread,
like morality and religion kind of politics thread.
And here's my problem.
We've been reading these people,
and no one's been a huge cunt.
Could you fix that for me?
Okay.
Stand back, everyone.
Isfahan pops' Knuckles.
Get out your smartphones.
All right, so you are Asadocchi.
Yeah, you've got 100 points in Mark Twain,
100 points in Alchemy Level 10,
and 100 points in Conversationalist.
Yeah, I took the Conversationalist test and I aced it.
Anyway, as Lemon said, my name is Asadachi
and I look like a cut rate extra from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.
I'm here to talk about political correctness.
You look like a Japanese Richie Rich.
Oh, good.
Hey, everybody.
Hey, everybody.
He's here to talk about political correctness.
Yeah.
Yay!
You guys may want to cover your ears if you're not used to people being too real.
Okay, no problem. I'm on it.
I really hate this silly phrase.
It encourages people to lie about how they truly feel about you.
Political correctness has indoctrinated itself into American society.
Here's a little history on the phrase.
You know what? Okay, I don't need your fucking sources and quotes and shit like that. has indoctrinated itself into American society. Here's a little history on the phrase.
You know what?
Okay, I don't need your fucking sources and quotes and shit like that.
It's not a history.
That's a definition.
Yeah, I cut and pasted a dictionary definition, which I will skip.
Please skip past that garbage.
And make your salient point, please.
Well, even the definition of political correctness is politically incorrect.
Uh-huh.
We call it political correctness,
but the name originated as something of a joke,
literally in a comic strip,
and we tend still to think of it as only half serious.
In fact, it's deadly serious.
Yeah, that's great.
All right, skip the quotes, please.
No, he needs to keep talking. Oh, okay.
No, I'm sorry.
Yeah, because I'm about to tell you,
it is the great disease of our century,
the disease that has left tens of millions of people dead in Europe, in Russia, in China, indeed around the world.
That's what did it?
Yeah, it's the disease of ideology.
PC is not funny. PC is deadly serious.
I hear you laughing, Jimmy Franks. Stop it.
Oh, you cite your sources here.
Oh, I have to leave Gaia online. Oh, you cite your sources here. Oh, I have to leave Gaia online.
Oh, God.
That's right.
And his source is a WordPress blog called Accuracy in Academia.
Now, I don't know exactly what Accuracy in Academia's boat of feedies are.
I do know that
Carly Farina is right there on the homepage.
But here's one thing that I can...
It's closely related to conservative
university. Good, good.
But here's one thing...
I didn't get accepted into the EU.
But here's one thing I can tell you about
accuracy and academia, which is
that the sidebar ad is for a book called
Cop Killer. How Mumia al-Jabu Jabal conned millions into believing he was framed.
So that's all we need to know about this place.
Yeah, let's just back away, close the door behind us.
Look, point is, I am a Christian and am extremely politically incorrect.
Oh my God.
I have found that this phrase has dumbed the masses
and just about pulled everyone apart
by saying we all should
be equal, but really states we are not.
If you believe this toxic lie,
please stop now, because you truly
believe in a doctrine stating
that we are not all equal.
If you believe a lie, stop believing a lie.
Yeah, what's the matter with you?
We are not all the same.
We are different colors.
We are different textures.
Okay.
We are different...
I was almost expecting we are different flavors.
We are different...
But it doesn't say that.
I'm flan!
We are different genders.
We are different...
We are different strengths.
Capital S strengths.
We are different ages. We are different. We are different ages.
We are different.
We are all equal.
By creating a system of belief
that stifles one's voice over another,
we create a system that says
otherwise.
It depends on how fucking stupid your voice is.
Odds that I am a white male?
100%. You're watching Real Time with Bill Maher.
New rule! I should get more points
than Guy Online.
We're going to move away from that thread
and into one that's depressingly similar.
Nutshell, your name is
Sarlo with a zero
and you posted
in the thread
I'm sorry the captcha I have is
that I have to type in the words
learn from mistakes
I will not type that
I will not think that
same I am
so yeah so your name is
Sarlo with a zero
and you are posting in a
thread entitled homosexual Christian.
No such thing.
If I was gay, I would hate God in the Bible.
Otherwise I would crack up and shoot myself.
Seriously.
I actually thought about being gay in college years, went to a few GLU gay lesbian union
dances that the campus hosted.
And while I dug their techno music, dances, and drugs, that lifestyle just wasn't for me.
It seemed so shallow to me.
I made a choice to do what I did.
It wasn't something I felt I was born to be and couldn't help but be that way.
Being straight is a choice, too.
One thing I don't really understand is why gays have such a problem saying it is a choice.
Why do they want to come off as innocent of it all and say I didn't
choose this? If I was going to be gay
I'd say I chose to be this way.
I'm not gay and I choose not to
be gay. I choose to be straight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure you do a great
job of it too. The more I think
about this, I'm convinced that
there can totally be such a thing as
a Christian...
What's that word? Fuck.
Well, if it's fuck, it's F-U a Christian... Well, what's that word? Fuck. Fuck.
Well, if it's fuck, it's F-U-C.
Well, he's actually going for fag.
There can totally be a thing of a Christian fag.
All right.
So he got a round guy on lines filter there.
Well done.
Hooray.
And then just continue with your really well-made point there.
Sure.
Thanks. Just like there can be a Christian who cusses A Christian who lies, a Christian who has anger issues
A Christian who looks at another with lust
Christians will never be sinless or perfect
And this life will always have some level of sin that we're guilty of
And should be asking forgiveness of and repenting of
On a daily basis
But sometimes we don't do that
Sometimes Christians go for several days, months, years in disobedience
The fact of the matter is...
Yep. If I go sex up
the neighbor lady, that means I just engaged
in homo-sex, and I'm a Christian.
That's a good thing you've never thought of that.
That makes me a Christian
homosexual, at least for the day, or moment,
or whatever. That's not how homosexuality
works.
And I'm straight again.
I've got that out of my system. I can be straight for
days at a time.
Hey, but something caught me as
funny in this thread. Someone mentioned
thousands of homosexual animals.
Dude, that cracked me up. Animals also
eat their young and nudge them from their nests so they sense they're
sick and order insurance survival of the family.
Animals rape, commit incest and... Inscust. Inscust. eat their young and nudge them to their nest so they sense they're sick in order to ensure the survival of the family. Animals raped commit
inset... Inscest.
Inscest.
And can bullies
one another too. Animals eat
excrement. The gay animal
Phenomena has
an emo... Yeah, I don't recommend using
canned bolognese.
Why not? Phenomena. Why wouldn't you?
Has emo been
debunked for me personally,
not claiming that this is absolute fact
that anyone else must accept,
except I am, as their own view,
only this is enough to convince me as
I believe they're experts.
Who's experts? And I take their word
for it. Conservapedia.
Oh, Conservapedia-ling!
Excellent.
Good, good, good.
We're hitting all the singularity
squares on this bingo card here.
I don't know if Sarlo is
like, if there's a hint of
tolerance in that, or
all of these read like a
14-year-old's diary
where they're just starting
to grasp the notion of critical thought
but can't quite get it out.
Except for a 14-year-old's
diary is
by design directed at oneself
whereas this is a 14-year-old's diary
but like, I've figured it all
out, you fucking idiots.
Yeah.
How come anybody hasn't
had these thoughts before?
This document, once again,
put together
by
Kani Sutra,
and I'm only reading
this thing, or we're only reading this
particular one because
this says
Isfahan, please, if
reading.
So, Isfahan, please, if reading. So, uh, Isfahan, uh, your name is Mistress of the Shadows.
You've got 20,000 points.
Yeah.
You seem to have a penguin for a hat, and you're on the beach with a scimitar.
Yep, I did flunk the, uh, springtime scavenging test, though.
I only got 25 on there.
But, uh, and I gotta say, like, these avatars make these posts a lot funnier to read. test, though. I only got 25 on there. And I gotta say,
these avatars make these posts a lot funnier
to read. Yeah, I agree.
They provide a context that I enjoy.
Anyway.
The pop-up ads for Vagisil are also really
fun.
Know your audience.
Might just be you, buddy.
Okay, the title of this thread is,
Does the U.S. military use fake Dear John letters for training?
I'm sorry, fake Jeer John letters for training.
Boo!
Fuck you, John!
It's J-R John.
Okay.
Oh, Jeer John.
There's the poll.
Sorry.
Yes?
What is the poll? Okay, the poll. Sorry. Yes? What is the poll?
Okay, the poll.
They put a poll because this is an opinion piece.
Right?
The Fox and Friends poll.
Do they still send fake breakup letters to military recruits to break them down?
Still!
Still!
Do you still beat your wife?
All right.
Okay, nobody said yes.
One person said no. One person said no.
One person said in some branches, but not Navy.
Very telling guy online, zero people said I'm not sure.
And one person said, I didn't even know that was a thing,
which is begging the question.
That's the only reason Mark's smiling.
Yeah, and then they have an emoticon right there.
Anyway, I thought that was funny.
All right, what do you got?
If you want to know what that emoticon
sounds like, go to frankwest.xyz.
Oh, thank you, bitch!
Alright. Frank West pronounces
emoticons for you.
My fiance just
left for Navy boot camp on the 20th
of last month, and he wrote me a letter,
and I wrote him one back. Nothing was
wrong, but then some old guys I knew
who used to be in the military told me something
shocking that I'd been loosing sleep over.
I already
know those guys were fucking with you.
But anyway, they said that in the
military, back when they were in there,
one was Navy and the other was Air Force.
They would try to break their spirit and
test how strong they were emotionally by giving them fake Dear John letters, in quotes,
to trick them into thinking that their significant other broke up with them.
Does the military still do such a cruel thing?
That sounds like that would be super helpful for unit cohesion, absolutely.
It helps build up trust.
You have nothing to live for. Do a good job.
We are your family now.
I'm worried about
it because my fiancé has always been
a really sensitive guy with low self-esteem
and he has a past history of suicide
attempts. And his sole reason
for joining the Navy was to have a means
support me so we could get married
and our relationship has...
That's a good basis for joining the military.
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
Nothing strengthens a relationship like joining the military.
Let me tell you.
Nothing but happy marriages as far as the eye can see.
Nothing cures any mental illnesses like joining the military.
And our relationship has been under...
This is a long history of military vets coming
back.
Totally sane.
Yeah.
And our relationship has been under a lot of strain because our families
haven't been getting along.
And the pastor of his church didn't want us to be together because I wasn't
godly enough.
And I worry that he might think that I wrote the letter for real because the
emotional strain finally got to be too much.
And then he might throw a letter already exists.
And that he might throw himself overboard and try to drown himself if he thought I broke
up with him.
You're certainly thinking much of yourself, too.
That would be a very dramatic way to kill yourself in the Navy.
I haven't talked to anyone who's been in the military recently enough to know, but someone
said that they don't think they still do that anymore because they are more concerned about
mental health these days
and more concerned with legal issues.
Does anyone know if they still fake letters like that?
Well, Isfahan, do you know?
Do you know?
Did they finally stop that practice?
Yes, they finally did.
You see, the problem was there were too many happy marriages in the military
that weren't strained,
so they had to thin the herd so guys
would stop thinking about their wives all the time
and get focused on their military shit.
You know? Yeah. Okay.
I gotcha. You'd be shooting at
Taliban and the guy next to you just
would not shut up about his wife and kids.
I super love my wife.
She hasn't broke up with me yet.
I get it, guy. Jesus Christ.
You get some suppressing fire over on the left side there?
No, I want to talk to you about my wife some more
This document
You tried to suppress my love
This document has been broken into several parts
Part one there
I don't remember what it was called
But part two is called Boner Problems
Boner Problems
And Boots Your name is Pastel- But part two is called Boner Problems. Boner Problems.
And Boots, your name is Pastel-Candy-Lover93.
Oh, man.
Yeah, I'm Pastel-Candy-Lover93.
And what do you want to talk about?
Yeah, was garlic allergy is possible? Was garlic allergy as possible?
Was garlic allergy as possible?
Yeah, was garlic allergy as possible? Yeah, maybe at one point.
Yeah.
Few days ago, I actually ate garlic on last Sunday.
Later that night, I was sneezing and blew my nose.
I have these horrible red dots all over my body.
This creepypasta sucks. I look over my nose. I have these horrible red dots all over my body. This creepy pasta
sucks. I look
over my body.
Well, now trying to avoid
garlic and some flower tea.
I felt like a vampire
even I am not.
So I am having garlic allergy.
Was his common or very
rare?
Please let me know if...
And thanks, PastelCandyLover93.
You even signed your post.
My name is Nota Fatning.
Was it really necessary to say that you aren't a vampire?
On this form, yes. Yes, it is.
Yeah, I don't mind the smell of garlic.
But if it's gone to my body,
my body rejects it.
So I'm not a vampire.
I'm a human just like you.
Perhaps a female.
I don't know.
I have a very pale skin and oval-shaped face,
dark brown eyes, dark brown thick wavy hair,
and thick black arch eyebrows, large jaw and small teeth, like Dracula.
Yeah, Dracula had small teeth.
But female version of him.
Oh, that's a disconnect.
But I'm not a vampire.
Okay, okay, thank you.
So you say. And then, Jimmy Franks, your name is Chanel Oberlin
Chanel Oberlin
and I am a pretty pretty princess
you are a pretty princess
what is your
you know hey Jimmy Franks
I know that some of us
we go through this life
trying to achieve certain titles
that are bestowed upon us
has that ever happened to you
has there ever been a title
that you've amassed for yourself?
Oh, yeah.
What's that?
Fashionable Capitalist.
Great.
You unlocked that title with achievements.
I can view your equipped list.
Yeah, this is Chanel Oberlin, Fashionable Capitalist.
Excellent.
So, I was having a discussion about eating cotton balls today.
Cotton balls.
I know, totally gross and cringy.
Like the thought of the texture against your teeth makes me shudder.
So one of the issues is bowel blockage, even with lubrication,
such as submersing the ball in orange juice.
However, theoretically, if you were to tear the ball into
smaller pieces and then dip
those into orange juice, there'd be no bowel
issues because of how small the pieces would be, right?
What a strange
question. I'm totally
not trying to help anyone do this, by the
way. I'm just really curious.
Because people have died from this. Could their
deaths have been avoided by simply tearing up
smaller pieces? Deaths could have been even more avoided by not eating cotton balls
That's not an option. Oh, is that an option?
PS picking the fluffy pieces from your bum does not sound fun
Speak for yourself. Yeah, it's fine
Hey, how's it going? Hey?
You guys what are you guys talking about nothing yeah i guess eating cotton balls okay that's cool my name is nixon today i was having
sex with my girlfriend it couldn't get past a semi and she jumped out of bed and put all her
clothes on without saying a word. Okay.
I immediately started jerking off to my favorite pornography video
to know that my dick still works,
and I still couldn't get it past the semi.
After about two hours of that, I tried texting her,
and she said,
Don't talk to me anymore, broken dick boy.
I sent her a paragraph explaining how I could get on Viagra.
My dick could still be at 100% when we have sex.
But then she finally said, are you finished or are you done?
So I stopped texting her and focused on fixing my dick.
I checked on all of my social media and she blocked me on all of it.
I'm crying so fucking hard, guys.
What do I do?
It's a shame, because you guys deserve each other.
What was the title of this?
What was the title of this?
The title of this was,
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have erectile dysfunction.
Hi, Boots.
Is there anything that, like,
this is Guy Online. It's a safe place.
It's a place for friends.
Friends that have leveled up
to your point.
And is there
anything that, like,
frustrates you at all?
Yeah, what kind of life issues are really grinding your gears?
My biggest problem is bitches who won't knock it off.
I'm Lytle Bird Travesty.
That is a travesty.
And what are you dressed as?
I'm dressed as a pretty little witch. Yeah, yeah, dressed as? Dressed as a pretty little witch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Little Red Riding Hood as a witch.
Yeah, Little Red Riding Hood as a witch.
All right, rant warning.
Blah, blah, blah.
Pronounce that to be Frank's.
Incoming rant. Attention, incoming rant.
Pronounce that Jimmy Franks.
Attention, incoming rant.
So my ex-fiance went to live with my ex, online only BF,
and it felt just like a little hate gang, which it did turn into for a while.
No matter how much evidence, how many times I said slash say it, or how much and many times I proved what I have to say, my ex BF's wife swoops in like a broken record.
That's my roommate's ex.
She's a crazy stalker.
And that's my roommate's ex.
She's a crazy stalker.
She has a S a Ebb.
crazy stalker. She has A-E-B-S-L-
A-E-B?
She has A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y
no evidence to back
up anything she says, though.
Okay, so you're
God, how old? Yeah, I know you're all following
me. Anyway, as for
those emails, you've seen
my broken computer, honey.
I'm texting all this on my phone
with one hand, which I have pictures
of.
I have not fallen.
Why do you have pictures of your hand?
I'm sure you'll let me know how to
screen cap my emails, and I will
happily post being
led on. Wait,
it's actually none of your fucking
business, Kay.
And on top of this infuriating BS,
she spouts about me every chance she gets.
I found she keeps copying me,
like the first female stalker on here,
my unique belief system,
my dreams for the future,
wanting to get married and have kids.
She used to be a polygamist when I first met her.
Act.
Yeah, don't say.
The first female stalker on Gaia
Online, is that like a table that
your bards have told?
Knowing Gaia Online
is probably a badge.
Yeah, you gotta have 25 levels in conversation.
Every time I try to talk to my ex
on Gaia, this bitch butts in like
she knows all
about me. Why are you talking and my ex on gaia online why is that an action that
you think is a good idea that's the way that people talk to each other that's the only way
to communicate they met that's the way that people talk to their exes that's the way the
people talk to anybody okay unless what happens though what happens though if you're talking to your ex
and then all of a sudden you realize
that you're like, you've got 24,000
points and then they've got like 3,000
points? Well, they obviously cheated.
Okay. The bitches won't knock it
off. Why do you think I hide
my points in my profile?
I don't know.
Not just to keep us from being jealous.
Yeah, it pisses me off.
Yeah, honey, I don't want beef.
Bitch, please.
You're full of shit.
Hmm.
Just stay the fucking way for my ex-fiance.
Stay out of both of our lives.
Actually, just shut up about me and stop stalking me.
A is a big boy who made his choices, even if they're bad ones.
Oh, snap.
What happened there?
I don't know who...
This is the first post. I don't know who she's
responding to. It is the first
post! It's not in response
to anything.
Rant warning subsided.
Oh my god. We made it
through, guys. Rant levels have returned to normal. Close tag rant warning subsided. Oh my god. We made it through, guys.
Rant levels have returned to normal. Close tag rant warning.
Frank West is already deciphering how to pronounce
the exclamation
point smiley.
My name is Mira
1506
and I believe that western values
are being flushed down the drain.
That's what I believe.
The Western culture that we have inherited became great because of its values and traditions and how it held on to them.
Though not all of them great, most of these values are being flushed down the drain at an ever faster pace in the name of progress.
In order for any culture to survive, enough healthy children have to reach adulthood,
replace the previous generation, and to be proud of their cultures to pass its values onto their children.
Ooh, I'm already leery of where this is going.
Oh, well, here's where it's going.
However, feminism...
Oh, okay.
I thought this was going to be race.
Yeah, I was expecting more eugenics-y type stuff.
Yeah, no, no, no.
You lost that Vegas pet.
Began stigmatizing motherhood and pushing women into the workforce.
Saying that having kids at a young age means that you have no ambition.
Saying that you have to do whatever a man can do
and forgetting that a healthy next generation is required.
Saying that more and more women are either not having children
or not having enough children
to replace the previous generation.
Boy, that's
clearly true.
Also, it's still race.
Good. It's both.
Oh, okay, yeah.
You get a twofer.
And also, having them outside of their
physical prime.
This increases the chances of a child
being born, for instance, with
Down Syndrome. Oh my god.
Ex-
Ex- Expo
Expan
Expanan. Okay.
Just gotta sound it out.
Expanan-
Expanan-
It's a portmanteau of exponential and financially. Right. Expanentially. Exponentially. It's a portmanteau of exponential and financially.
Right, yeah, exponentially.
The older woman becomes, same with other birth defects.
The older a woman gets, the more dangerous a regnancy will be also.
Yeah, there's going to be more assassins.
You have more kings, the more they're going to be assassinated.
Okay.
And then the effects are
especially visible in Europe
where birth rates quickly drop below replacement rates,
leaving the economy unable to cope
to pay for older people's pensions
without having enough young, skilled people in the workforce.
The economic migrants and up to 70% are not refugees, but migrants.
Xenophobia, too.
Awesome.
This is based on my just definition of, I don't know't know. I don't know what the fuck.
I don't know what anything about that 70% means, but that's fine.
Often are illiterate in their own language,
let alone learning a new language and getting a job.
They have no job perspectives whatsoever.
Job perspectives.
I like this job better than my last one.
It's Tuesday at 2am and you're watching Job Perspectives.
I had a summer job where I worked as a fill-in for a janitor who was getting heart surgery.
And he gave me training on the first day.
And he said, this is the place I like to
stand and watch the girls go by.
And I think that's what they're talking about
here.
You get the best view here.
Gotta turn to your job prospectus.
Whatsoever
and are draining the welfare state
Europe has, bringing the Euro
ever closer to collapsing.
So,
Greeks. That's what I'm saying. Greeks.
Oh, hi!
Who are you? You sound smart.
This is fucking returned.
Me too, except for I'm not called that.
Women have forgotten their place
as have men.
Oh, God.
Tell us more.
Of course, there haven't been enough blood orgies in the past few centuries.
If the men aren't soaking in the blood of their enemies with women at his side,
and if women are trying to hold down some shit desk job instead of making dinner and soaking their feet,
then everyone has flipped bass backwards.
How many Caligulas do you think there were?
So many.
Well, I watch it every night.
All you people working with toys and numbers when Brodin commands us to let loose the hounds of war.
Madness!
Also, fuck fuck the workforce.
I like that you think that you can somehow manage to shitpost fucking Gaia Online.
I think it's sweet that Brian Blessed has a Gaia Online. I think it's sweet that Brian Blessed
has a Gaia Online account.
I just escaped
from the side
of an airbrushed van.
And now I'm here
to give advice.
And Black Rose Greenbud,
do you have anything to say?
What if I find children
fugly, disgusting shitmakers
who are good for nothing but screaming, shitting, puking,
and torturing their parents?
What if I react not with concern?
And I think you're child-free hardcore.
Oh my god, no one can have sex with you
because they keep getting cut on the edge.
What if I react not with concern,
but with white-hot rage when I hear babies squalling?
What if I'd rather shake the child to shut its shitty puke hole
instead of actually care for it like a real person would?
Oh, that's murder.
Then you've committed infanticide.
Congratulations, poster.
Trust me, I'd be a shitty abusive mother.
I have no business giving birth to a cunt nugget.
Not my gig.
What do you do with folks like me who can't stand children?
Who pose a danger.
Who pose a danger
to a child they birth.
I'm perfectly fine around adults and children
if I can leave them after a few hours.
Not a single spot on my record.
I'm not a danger to others, so hospitalization
or incarceration is not
a really logical thought.
Except where you talk about how you would be a danger to children.
Hey guys, welcome to Buffalo Wild Wings.
It's two for one on cunt nuggets for the last two hours.
Can I hold your baby?
No, guys, trust me, there's a reason it's two for one.
No, no, no, no, no.
We're just trying to get him out of the kitchen.
You want a cunt nugget?
Oh, I respond to this for some reason.
These are all actually separate threads at this point.
Oh, really?
Jesus Christ.
You can't even tell it's not response.
It all just runs together after a while.
I can't fucking tell.
What horrible swirl.
Because a new thread is equally likely to address the previous thread as responses in that thread.
Great point.
That's a great point.
I'm also noticing that the next thread that Connie Sutra has in here is entitled the Daddy Dom Lifestyle.
But we're going to skip that because I saw one that says gang stalkers.
Who are you going to call?
Isfahan.
Yeah. stalkers? Who are you going to call? Isfahan. Your name is
Ax6
2016.
Looks like you're
an anime karate guy.
And
what have you run into lately?
I've run into people
purposely confusing me.
Why do they do that?
Hmm. Is it? I've run into people purposely confusing me Why do they do that? Hmm
Is it
Here's just a theory
Is it because you're dumb?
Is it because you're dumb?
No
I considered that for a few moments
And then what happened?
Well then
I checked my score on Gaia online
My score reminded me
of how smart
of a person I was.
Of course.
So I just want to ask
you all's opinion on this.
Okay, great.
I have a very good talent
when it comes to
the visual arts and technology.
Likewise,
I'm very lacking
in other areas of life.
The basic things
I really can't do.
I have an average IQ
and have been successful in all areas of my life that I invest my time in,
such as sports and technology and creative such.
You can tell I'm smart, right?
Basic hygiene, on the other hand, not so much.
I tend to run into a group of people who somehow manages to team up together
and just pretend that I'm completely stupid.
They're
called Gaia Online.
Yeah.
Or make me feel that I'm
completely unaware or just unknowledgeable
about things. Oh, I hope somebody
mentions gaslighting.
They always seem to try to lower
my confidence down and pretend that my
talent or skill is non-existent.
For example, another tense shift.
I talk to a woman named Jane.
Jane and I are completely fine.
We understand each other completely well.
None of our conversations become confusing.
Down the road, either Jane...
How is that possible?
Wait, wait, wait.
It doesn't become confusing to you.
Yeah.
I'm able to follow the thread of conversation just fine.
She never says anything.
So then, in the next stage,
I killed all the Nazis,
and then...
The secret's really hard to find,
but I know where it is.
Wolfenstein champion.
Yeah.
Down the road, either Jane feels that I'm
boring, annoying,
that I have a flaw,
or just wants to be entertained, or just to any
reason.
She suddenly taps into her inner
bully self, and she and a group of her
friends would then pretend that everything coming out of my mouth is not understandable.
So, yeah, so far what I'm gleaning from this is that you annoy her and she wants you to go away.
Well, she pretends like she wants you to go away.
Oh, I see, yeah.
As in, they really say things like, huh?
And what are you talking about?
And then it would fuel me to be stressed out in some way to cause me to look like a fool.
I mean, obviously, they can't actually not know what I'm talking about.
Try to take down, you know, the Mecha Nazi with a pistol.
It's just stupid.
I know very well that I'm not a fool.
War Wolfenstein. Yeah.
I've had
great conversations with intelligent people.
It just so happens
that these group of people are
acting solely like this within their group.
It could be as
simple as disconnecting from these people and moving
on. Well, okay, I've...
I'm not going to entertain that thought anymore,
just like... Nah.
The problem is that I keep entangling myself with these
groups of people from different circles that it now
seems that I'm the one having a problem and not
them.
Hmm.
I love how
people, like, touch on the actual
problem and then just blow right by it.
It feels like the problem's with me,
but I know it's not me.
Yeah, exactly, Boots.
It just so happens I keep landing into
a circle of bullies. Lol.
Just so happens.
What sort of bullying behavior
do they...
Okay.
I keep running into something what's... Yes!
I keep running into something what's called
gaslighting trickers.
Merry Christmas! Woo! Called it. I keep running into something what's... Yes! I keep running into something what's called gaslighting trickers. Yeah!
Merry Christmas!
Woohoo!
Called it.
And I'm always stuck in their web.
For example, I would be called and enter a phone conversation
and have to explain myself as to why I didn't attend work.
This is very confusing.
Okay, I don't want to do an aside because it could very well be, like, something he actually said.
I simply said something that I already sent in my two weeks and I'm no longer associated with that company.
I would be purposely stressed out by them and they would seem to enjoy that happening and even asking other stressing questions.
This person would then say something like, what are you talking about? I don't
understand you. As if they are waiting on
a reaction from myself.
Yes, almost as if they
are that exact thing.
And then I would
explain myself even more. Then they would
laugh about with their friends or
they would put my phone in speaker.
I'm easily
baited into these conversations
for the amusement of their friends.
I respect and treat everyone seriously, so
even though someone has wronged me,
I still answer them properly.
Properly? Properly.
Okay.
Does that mean, like, accurately
and with a certain, like,
vocal finesse? Yes, I don't use contractions.
Ooh, like data. Yes, I don't use contractions. Like data.
Yeah.
I realize that feeding into their mockery
is not really helping myself or themselves.
Well, it's helping themselves.
If someone treats you this way,
you shouldn't react as your reaction
would fuel them to treat you even further this road,
which is why I keep doing it.
Did you ever, Esfan,
did you ever keep track of the tenses
that you used
throughout that entire post?
Yeah.
There were many.
Present, past, present,
present,
conditional,
future, present.
And then also it went
from first to third.
First to second pretty frequently
And past tense
And then present tense again
And
Butch you have a follow up for that?
Yeah I'm black
Petals
Black black black
Black petals
Wow
When I read this I could completely relate as it would appear these types of
situations take on many similar forms and scenarios i recently discovered some mind
shattering realities and truths about someone who is actually quite well known click here to learn
more you won't believe number three.
Their reputation would flush down
my own evidence and anecdotal
experiences.
The reputation would work the toilet?
Mm-hmm.
Flush them down.
I am still trying to
handle this fact myself.
I'm working on it too, yeah.
It sounds like those people you had mentioned,
including Jane,
are rather toxic.
You mentioned Jane.
Like, you're actually...
I know why you're confused.
I know why you're confused.
Is that Black Petals responded to a post
and actually read the post
that that person responded to?
Yeah.
And that's very confusing on a guy online.
I got you.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Our first assumption was that
there's never been a mention of a Jane anywhere else in this thread.
But there actually was.
Yeah.
It says that the people you've mentioned
suffer from lowest self-esteem
or don't know
how to empathize well enough in certain social situations to do what is right as opposed to
feeding their ego well how many points do you get for that for ego feeding yeah well it doesn't
necessarily give you points but you can raise the ego and evolve it into a superego. Oh, okay.
I've just got this little id.
It's coming all over my feet.
Correct me if I am wrong in interpreting the situation.
I am sorry to hear that you had to experience this sort of negativity.
I hope you are able to recover and be the better person in future situations.
Bless your kind and generous heart.
Never give up. Star.
Blessings be.
Coming down to
the end here,
very, very much to the end,
there's an entire
section of this document called
Just Random Garbage, which is fun and starts off with a thread entitled,
Humans would kill Jesus if he existed, which I like very much.
I like the implication that Jesus was not human.
He's a lizard person.
But we're going to probably skip over that.
But Nutshell, you have a question you wanted to post to GuyOnline.
Would you go through that, please?
Your name is Lila Loage?
Leah.
Leah Loage.
Leah Loage.
Leah Loage.
I'm looking for Leah. Leah Loage. Leah Lelage. Leah Lelage. I'm
looking for Leah.
Leah Lelage.
Okay.
So, I got
an ask on Tumblr the other day.
What's your question, though?
Oh, has anyone
wondered about selling photos of themselves?
Uh-oh.
So, I got
an ask on Tumblr the other day
from someone offering to buy pictures of my feet.
Uh-oh.
I have since accepted,
but now just waiting for my PayPal to work
so I can do what I need to do.
Oh, dear!
But I was just wondering,
has anyone on here done that kind of thing?
Do you have any advice for me?
I'm also thinking about selling some used clothes,
but a bit more secretly.
I wonder what kind of clothes!
You have to know what's going on
here, Lea Loli. This old raincoat!
You have to know. Please know what's going on here,
Lea Loli.
I like that the question
isn't like, hey,
is this murky territory?
Or is this a good idea? But it's literally
like, hey, help me figure out the logistics
about selling my paintings on the
internet. How best to monetize
my soiled undergarments. Lemmon, can you
take Optosaurus Prime's response?
Optosaurus Prime, okay.
Yeah, so I'm Optosaurus
Prime and I'm a devil
steampunk girl
with a crochet hat
and a flannel shirt.
Yeah, yeah. Runs flannel shirt.
Here we go.
As long as you don't sell pictures
of your tits or your face,
you'll be fine.
It's whatever you're comfortable with.
They'll leave you alone after they get your pictures.
Oh, my God.
And this thread, I'm just kind of speed-scrolling through it,
but I would say this thread is... The responses to this thread are about 60-40.
Like, yeah, that sounds good! Yeah!
I think you should totally do it! That sounds super smart!
That'll work out well.
Oh, pictures of your feet, you say?
Well, that sounds fun.
The very last
thing that we're going to be taking
here is
part four in the document
that Kandisitra
provided, and part four is called document, uh, the kind of, uh, provided. And,
uh,
part four is called,
and now a long list of thread titles.
Good.
Are you a troll for Hillary?
Why is America so far ahead of other nations on gun rights?
Clinton dynasty to exploit
Scalia death to push gun control
okay yeah
robots cancer of the
21st century
I would not watch that
television show Trump is right about blacks
whoa
whoa
whoa
and just like coming from
a Japanese or Korean anime character.
I got it. Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, 500
points. Thank you.
Okay, here's some
word assay. 9-11. The captcha
for Trump is right about blacks.
The captcha was, that's right.
Meow. Meow.
9-11. Nuclear bombs.
Nope.
Incorrect.
Send your findings back to the lab.
Nuclear bombs can melt steel beams.
Anyway.
Are SJWs geographically challenged?
Perhaps some are, I guess.
They're all trying to, like, solve social justice at the bottom of the ocean.
Yeah.
Well, no, no, no.
They read from the bottom of the ocean up.
The injustice of legislating net positives.
That smells like eugenics to me.
Are SJWs addicted to being offended? Am I right, folks, or am I right?
Yeah, absolutely.
400,000 Twitter followers for you, my friend.
Why is esports dominated by males?
Diving by zero, tearing a hole in time-space!
What exactly is sexist porn?
And where can I find it?
I've been looking for so long.
All I'm seeing is this incredibly progressive porn.
I got a couple links.
Pagans, why don't you still become sex slaves for Aphrodite?
I mean, fair enough.
You know what, that's actually pretty good.
Why are Muslims so smug about spreading their religion?
Hey, Christians, guess what?
We used to convert by the sword.
It's pretty good.
I don't think you'd like it.
Are these my turn?
Yeah. Oh, cool.
Why can't we find aliens?
Climate change killed them.
Okay.
It's nice to get both a question and an answer in a thread title.
Yeah.
I like the implication that aliens just are things that live on our planet and got killed off.
They melted.
Because that's alien.
Whatever.
No, I got your boots.
No, they would have to be aliens if they lived on our planet, right?
Yeah, that's how that works.
The sociopathic
neo-Nazi Odinist has something to say.
Well, let's all just put our chin in our hands
and listen. I assume he
frequently does.
Is Guy Online really
text-based communication?
I mean, I maybe... Okay, I mean, I maybe...
Okay, I mean, I guess
you could...
Text and clip art.
Street boys
are weak and pathetic!
Street boys.
Sure.
Someone threatened to hire a killer or hit man to kill me.
Yeah, I'm sure that's true.
I'm sorry that's true.
I'm sorry, what was that?
Can you say that again?
Someone, oh, sorry.
Someone threatened to hire a killer or hitman to kill me.
It's probably the straight boys because they're weak and pathetic.
That's true, they can't do it themselves.
Can't do their own dirty work.
The U.S. is running out of bombs to fight the Dacians.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If only we built a couple more.
I don't know.
Do we have any sort of stockpile of that?
I don't know.
Don't they go bad after a while?
Also...
And why do some people not like Trump?
I can't imagine.
I don't know.
I mean, his track record on blacks is, you know, 100%.
I guess they just don't like truth.
Yeah.
How come Link never gets Zelda in the end?
She does in my fanfic.
Ooh, hey-ho.
My erect penis looks like a very curvy banana.
A very curvy banana?
Yeah, I mean, default bananas are already, like, usually...
Right, so it's a curvier banana.
We're talking about, like, 70, 80 degrees here.
When you pee, your belly button gets wet.
It's a banana hoop.
Sometimes I wish I was Naruto.
Gin and tonics are acceptable as dinner, right?
Yup.
Right!
I'm mad, man.
It's fine.
Go ahead.
My cousin must have a sugar dadu.
Delicious.
Do not fight the New World Order.
Atheism should be illegal.
Jews, I had no idea.
Why didn't someone tell me?
What's the deal with Jews?
I was going to say, I really miss Larry King's newspaper comments.
These are my two cents.
Actually, that line is pretty much
the encapsulation of
Larry David's show.
I forgot the title of it.
Curb Your Enthusiasm.
The opening video
to that thread is
Why Don't Jews Believe in Jesus?
Because of the whole thing about being Jews. to that thread is, why don't Jews believe in Jesus?
Because of the,
you know,
whole thing about being Jews.
That's,
okay.
Lokians and Asatru 2.0.
Reboot.
I don't know what that means.
White dreads.
Oh, hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Is it,
people talking about how sexy they are,
I hope. I hope so. Is it people talking about how sexy they are? I hope.
I hope so.
Is there such a thing as reverse autism?
How would that work?
If there was a parallel world where autism was the norm.
Oh, boy.
My friend's sister's uncle's twice-removed cousin has autism.
That sounds jokey to me. Learn about how
it affects me!
Black skin bleaching
and transgender surgery double standard.
Sometimes my mind
feels like a collective.
Mm-hmm.
Is it weird or a natural stage
when straight people lust?
That's weird.
That's weird and gross.
Why do women slash girls wear thongs?
Because Cisco told them to.
Yeah, the look in their eyes
is so devilish.
They got dumps like a truck.
Truck, truck.
They shake that thing
like who's the ish.
And they're living La Vida Loca.
Boy versus girl orgasm.
Fight.
Oh, my God.
Body hair is beautiful and oak.
Oak.
Why don't they make smaller bras for us Asians?
Yeah.
Women in China.
What will they think of next?
Furries!
Best convention ever.
So much fun.
What did I do with my day?
I played Sims 4.
Except for the time you posted on Guy Online.
You got to tell me, Sims 4, I got to tell people about this.
You got to tell Sims 4, I got to tell people about this.
Uh, a poll.
Lick my boots.
BDSM, the passion, the lifestyle.
I'm gay!
Congratulations!
Food wasters.
Texture haters, ahoy!
Should I drink slash party slash do drugs?
Question about anal sex?
My sister
won't keep bringing men over.
Oh, I'm sorry.
How else do I get fucked?
And finally,
looked at porn on a work laptop.
Now I got lots more time
for browsing Gaia online.
So, F+, what do you think we learned from this?
You really shouldn't let your teenagers spend so much time on Gaia online.
Agreed. Yep, absolutely.
I think this is a better illustration of a point Adam Bozarth had in the school survival episode,
of a point Adam Bozarth had in the school survival episode
where he talks about you can kind of
see teenagers starting
to have
these conflicting thoughts and
confusing their own
motivations and
having some self-awareness
but not complete self-awareness.
And
also just, of course, having
an echo chamber.
Almost a literal echo chamber, because nobody ever responds to anybody.
You very much are shouting into the void.
I mean, lots of people might click on your thing, but nobody reads it.
Yeah.
I like how teenagers will spend their day in high school
just with catty assholes just being shitty to each other.
It's like, I need to go somewhere where there's catty assholes
being shitty to each other.
But different ones.
It feels to me like a community that, you know,
like Safe Schools in cooperation with Tide Detergent have created this place for kids to talk straight.
And then they forgot to turn it off.
Yeah, it's like the Microsoft chat bot, except for they just never deactivated it.
I'm just kind of worried about the people who are like teenagers when they started posting on here.
And even though they've gotten older, they're still posting on here.
And, you know, it's just kind of like they're not really changing.
They're just aging.
Yeah.
I mean, because it's kind of confusing to me because, again, I would be a very bad venture capitalist.
Because if somebody were to be like hey we're
gonna like sell all of these like dumb accoutrements to kids I'd be like well no obviously your
business doesn't make sense because it's kids so therefore they don't have credit cards
that won't work clearly it seems to be working but then but then the other thing is that
like if you were making this community if you were making this community, if you were making this economy,
what you need to be able to do
is have it so if somebody
types into Gaia Online,
so anyway, my ex-wife,
it just bans you.
Because that's
not okay.
My prostate.
My prostate.
I mean, hell, if somebody talks about getting a promotion at work, they should be banned.
Good for us?
Fuck you.
Yeah, so it's...
It will exist forever.
This site will never die.
But another site that might never die is
BALP!
CLP.IT
They keep trying to kill us, but we only
come back the same.
Daya Online will
though, I don't know
if they ever prune their forums or not, but they will
become an interesting, almost like living museum
of internet posts
just
by virtue of their longevity
I mean, the very idea
of having a forum that's
this old with this many posts
that's like this active
must be a fucking
nightmare, because now you have this Myspace problem where it's like this active must be a fucking nightmare because now
you have this myspace problem
where it's like all of your
members haven't been
members on your site hopefully
for like 10 years
yeah
bye bye
night Bye. Bye.