The F Plus - 222: The Left Hand Complaints

Episode Date: July 29, 2016

With an estimated 2.4 million visits per hour, PornHub is one of the most popular websites on The Internet. In serving up petabytes of data to a huge customer base who are, by design, short term ...participants you might think that these participants would prefer to be anonymous. As an F Plus listener, you are probably also aware that there's a certain category of people who have a lot of opinions about the pornography they consume. To that end, this is PornHub Feedback: A place for people to argue about how their fetishes should be treated, Britain's role in the EU, and shadowy conspiracies that present you with niche porn that match your thought processes. This week, listen to F Plus Premium for only 40 million sexcoins.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I fuck, thanks. This is the F Plus Podcast, a very erotic place for terrible things read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. Okay, I'm black and white and very personal in sight, but lately visas, smogs, and South Carolina have had a fuckfest all in their lives in they are. Hmm. Frank West. It's awesome to porn with a goat. Ace, you're Akawaddle. Feedback section should be dirty, not proper talk.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Stog. What is ad block and how do I disable it? Achilles Heelies. I love to eat pussy until it comes run down to her ass and then start licking it up. And lemon. It's all fine, except for the fingering! Fingering! Sugar count, you're a diabetic my friend Oh, here comes the pill, and it's deep And a few more fingers and maybe you can sleep
Starting point is 00:01:31 You got an infection, and you're back You've got a surprise in the hospital sack You know it with your, with your fervor With your fervor, yes, fervor, yes, fervor She's a fervor, she's a fervor, yes, oh Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hello, Lemon. What are your opinions on the people who provide pornography?
Starting point is 00:02:00 They're modern-day saints. They're poor fuckers. They're poor fuckers? Yeah, they're probably poor fuckers. They're poor fuckers? Yeah, they're probably poor fuckers. Do you mean they fuck the poor? No, I mean they're miserable. Oh, I thought you were suggesting they're putting it in skin pores or something. I mean, they are also poor fuckers.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Yeah, given the porn economy and all. Follicle fuckers. You can't sweat. I got my dick in there. Well, I know that you know that the internet is a place where pornography exists, as exposed in a very hilarious musical that is not shitty. And I know that you...
Starting point is 00:02:48 For context on that reference, go back ten years. Absolutely. It was a hit for a while. Anyway, so I know that you know that the internet has pornography on it, and also I know that you know that
Starting point is 00:03:04 the internet has opinions on it and also i know that you know uh that the internet has opinions on it and today we're gonna see no man today we're gonna see a marriage of these two facts uh because we're going to be looking at feedback.pornhub.com yay my home page my homepage how can I masturbate 20% quicker Pornhub Mountain Dew Pornhub is a very successful
Starting point is 00:03:37 company that is sort of a YouTube for porn they are Canadian as I understand from Montreal and they actually do a really pretty good sort of a YouTube for porn. They are Canadian, as I understand, from Montreal. And they actually do a really pretty good analytics roundup. It's like data.pornhub or something.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Those are really fun. But in addition to that site, they also do this feedback where people, the visitors, the loyal visitors of Pornhub can give their feedback on whatever they like, anything about the site. So, Boots, you are anonymous, and you have a thing that received 1,107 votes, and what
Starting point is 00:04:20 do you want to talk about here? Yeah, I'm anonymous. Yeah, you are. We want the tree campaign back. Yay! Two years ago, 15,000 trees were planted
Starting point is 00:04:36 thanks to all the success of your videos. Where were they planted? I personally think it's a win-win situation. Why don't you do this again, or even periodically? The world would be proud for once. We planted all these trees! Hey, my name's Sayet.
Starting point is 00:04:57 Hey, Sayet. Hey, this is Amateur Comedy Club night, right? Oh, boy. Uh-oh. Oh, is this thing on? No, it's not. You better just leave. It's off. Everyone's gone.
Starting point is 00:05:11 Bye-bye. Everyone hide under the chair. I'm just going to go ahead with my script. Sorry, but, with two Ts. You get it? But. Word filter. Sorry, but, does not the top of your page say Porn Hub?
Starting point is 00:05:32 It does. Unless you can convince me all 15,000 trees are at least females, then forget it! That's not... emails, then forget it! However, my orchard of dick willows just might be interested. You get it? I don't
Starting point is 00:05:58 know. Well, I mean, I don't get it. Premium looked good, but now I don't know. It's good. Porn! Pornhub porn! Trees! Pornhub porn.
Starting point is 00:06:17 I'm sorry, what was that word? Was that word Pornhub? No, it was Porn. Pornhub. Pornhub porn. Pornhub? No, it was POR. PORHUB. PORHUB PORN. PORHUB PORN. TREES! Good point.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Unless you can grow pussy on them, who cares? If I want trees, I will go to the green peace site till them stick to what you do. PORN. Screw the damn survey. The only reason I'm even typing here is you pissed me off with this stupid survey.
Starting point is 00:06:50 I hate getting on my soapbox. Trees, really? I'm sure you do. Trees, really? Trees, really? How dare you force me to give my uninformed opinion? Look, look, look. This is just a survey to see how many people drank the Kool-Aid.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Yeah. Is it? That's your mind being blown. Because it's Kool-Aid. That Kool-Aid is cool. Because K's are not cool anymore. I left that Kool-Aid in the refrigerator so now it's Kool-Aid. Is this thing on?
Starting point is 00:07:29 No! Did you know all those trees and the pine trees in PNW are genetically modified? GMO has been a thing since the 80s. I hate to cut it, but it's modified. God, I can't even say it.
Starting point is 00:07:50 Modified. Modified. All these pine trees that appear double are all genetically modified. Oh, shit. GMO has been a thing since the 80s. Rat show in two years what would take us 30 to 50 years
Starting point is 00:08:06 Hence the massive onslaught of cancer Out of nowhere Hmm Also pretty much all apples are not Real lemons, tomatoes, oranges as well Wow I mean I agree That's a good assessment of what apples are
Starting point is 00:08:24 You know what? You know what? You can remove pretty much as a modifier there. Bananas and pineapples, mangoes up, until a few years ago, mandarins all, can't grow here, social, SoCal maybe. What? Learning is fun.
Starting point is 00:08:43 I didn't realize that. Entirely independent of everything I said. Learning is fun. Well, Frank, as a friend of the media you love, I'm Brett Hall, product manager, Pornhub. Oh, great. I have to say is, whales! What else do you say? Whales!
Starting point is 00:09:05 Yeah, there you go. What's the last thing you say on this page? Where are y'all coming from? Ha ha! Ha ha! This is the admin? Pornhub admin. Wow. I mean, I guess he knows his people.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Ha ha! And then Brett, at one point, talks about the Pornhub.com slash cares slash save the whales campaign, which is Pornhub cares. And it says, help Pornhub
Starting point is 00:09:38 save the whales, and then there's a call to action, which is a green button that says, blow your load! This page has had 5 billion... It just takes me to porn. I don't understand how... This page has had 5,765,052,316 spurts. Yep.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Shoot your sperm to save the sperm, whales. You click that link and it just takes you to porn. Yay. Hello, my name is Jared Powers. Hello, Jared. 485 people agree with me on my idea, Pornhub. All those poor bastards.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Your site should have an option where users can drop a picture of girls and find porn star that look like her Oh yeah Oh yeah That's Brett again, great Thanks Brett, thanks for the input Brett I'm working hard Alright so
Starting point is 00:10:41 a month and a half has passed since then and now Sid says Is this still in the planning stages Jesus Christ. Alright, so a month and a half has passed since then. And now Sid says, Is this still in the planning stages? Or is it getting any closer to completion? Sid has this as his start page. He's like, come on. I have so many girls' pictures I need to look up. Those are the only two states, right?
Starting point is 00:11:01 The planning stage. And then Sid waited nine days. Any update on this? I've been. And then Sid waited nine days. Any update on this? I've been checking this for close to a year. Shit. Oh, sorry, you're right. It was a year between... Paul's thing is some... I don't know
Starting point is 00:11:16 if I want to read it, but that is fucked up. Anonymous says, also one for boys, please, but make sure the pics are never posted. I just want to see someone who looks like the guy I like, not have his face appear on a porn page. Jesus Christ. Look, only I get to jerk off to that guy.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Not you. You get to jerk off to him. Go find your own guy to jerk off to. That's my guy. Okay, Pornhub, show me porn stars that look like Walton Goggins from Justified. That's quite a pull. All right, Stog. Yes?
Starting point is 00:11:52 You're Andri, and you want to help us create a character? Is that right? I want to help you create a your character. Create a your character, okay. I want to create a your character. Create a your character, okay. I want to create a your character. Okay. Hi. Hi. I've got a great idea confirmed by a small internal research.
Starting point is 00:12:17 I ate 12 pixie sticks and it's shit out funny. It would be super if there was an opportunity to create a character's face For example, from a profile fazbook or uploaded photos
Starting point is 00:12:32 For example when your girlfriend is far away from you you load her photos and in virtual reality watching a movie with hers Oh, I get it What he's doing is some kind of automated cut and replacing.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Kind of like when you cut out a picture of your girlfriend's face and paste it over the centerfold. Like those things that you'll see at a fair where you stick your head through except for in reverse? Yeah! It's like here's a movie that you can put your girlfriend's face on it
Starting point is 00:13:06 and then watch the movie with her head bobbing around. Oh, that sounds eerie. If you liked my idea and you are ready to implement it, I will be happy to selling it. Close parentheses, close parentheses. Oh. So you own this idea. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Here's all the money oh cool thank you well k cool understands how you can do this so okay god okay cool get in there you should try making videos with her for when she is gone. Then you got the real deal. LOL. But that is actually a unique idea. As much Photoshop as I've seen on here, it shouldn't be hard. Minecraft can do it. Oh, wow!
Starting point is 00:13:57 Oh, no! So, let's just do it in Minecraft, then. Oh, it's Friday night. I'm feeling a little lonely. I'm just going to grab a beer, and I'm going to watch some Minecraft porn. I'm actually kind of surprised that we at this podcast
Starting point is 00:14:14 have not seen a document of Minecraft porn. I'm on it. Yeah, I'm just... Thank you. In Pognito mode? A little too close to home for me, frankly. Yeah, sounds about right. I mean, really, the only thing that would make it better
Starting point is 00:14:33 would be Atari 2600 noises. Er-ee, er-ee, er-ee, er-ee, er-ee, er-ee, er-ee. I'm making a vagina. Splonk! Why is there so much lactation in these Minecraft porn images? Because they're makers They like to create I was zombie pigman too So
Starting point is 00:15:02 this document is very possibly our best document submitter named Confluence The Pornhub Suggestions and Feedback document was submitted by Jack Sensation
Starting point is 00:15:19 Feeling that Jack Sensation So thank you for that Nice. Feeling that Jack sensation. So thank you for that. There is a thread in here where somebody on Pornhub feedback says, get an SSL certificate please.
Starting point is 00:15:37 And in that case, I definitely agree with the community. Yes, you're Pornhub. You really should have one. That's should have one. That's kind of insane. I believe they do, don't they? No. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Privacy, shmivacy. So, Boots, what have you noticed about Pornhub that you would like to change? What have I noticed? Yeah, Seussed. Seussed Rican. Okay. And I suggest you
Starting point is 00:16:09 take it down a few notches with the ads already. How many ad notches would you like? Two or three probably. A few. Okay. It would really be nice if the ads were a lot less distracting.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Way too much of the ad content is stuff I would filter out as offensive. Oh, porn ads on a porn website! Who would have thought that? Way too much of the non-ad content. He didn't say what it was, so it could have been like political party advertisements
Starting point is 00:16:43 or something. I don't like that party! Make America come again. I don't want to vote for the Green Party. I just want to jack off, okay? You know what? I agree with you, Stog. You should run for your own parties, Doug. I should.
Starting point is 00:17:08 It's great in all stock, but... I don't want to vote for the Green Party. I just want to jack off. Voting booths across America defiled. Anyway, back to completing what adds. Since they're mostly GIFs, they're super hard to ignore, and usually I just close the page and go to a different source. I understand that it's a tough situation,
Starting point is 00:17:32 and no free site has really figured out a good balance. I want free content, and I'm willing to put up with a very low level of intrusive ads. Ah. I want free content, but I'm not willing to pay for it. Okay. You want people to pay money to get rid of the ads, but if I'm going to pay money,
Starting point is 00:17:52 why wouldn't I just go to a premium site with better content? Obviously, if I'm not willing to pay, I don't have the right to complain. And yet, here I am, so... Here I am! Complaining about
Starting point is 00:18:07 porn! Come on, come on, come on, come on! She said it's hot parodies. Oh, boy. But I think until the ads get a little less obnoxious, I'm gonna have to move on to somewhere else.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no. Can DeviantArt take another member? P.S., what's the deal with all the pissing videos? Are there really that many people out there that like urine? We got a couple documents we need to just see, Sue said.
Starting point is 00:18:41 They're very sexy! So, every one of these, um, links here, um, uh, JackSensation um, has given his own title, such as I Will Implement Things If You Hire Me As An Intern. Um, and please donate to the
Starting point is 00:19:01 Sexually Assaulting Gamers Patreon. Oh, God. Yeah, those are things that we are skipping. But this next one, JackSensation has labeled Chivos! I'm in. So, Achilles
Starting point is 00:19:18 Heelys, what do you got there? Well, I'm getting there. Your name is anonymous. This is all the way back from September 12th, 2013. Oh, good. It would be cool if there were
Starting point is 00:19:32 achievements on Pornhub. Would it? Watching porn would be more fun. Achievements like three hours straight, anal lover, lol, etc. Did that really warrant a lol? Yes, it did.
Starting point is 00:19:47 I feel like that's an unearned lol. I can't stop laughing. I can't stop laughing at the porn. Loving anal. Who would know? I think Pornhub would get very popular. Just an idea. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:04 It would be good for Pornhub to become very popular. Just an idea. Yeah. It would be good for Pornhub to become popular. It would be. My name's Brett Hall. I'm a project manager for Pornhub. We've been thinking about this for a while. Thanks for the suggestion. Let's see if it gets votes and comments from others. I'm looking into
Starting point is 00:20:22 what we could give achievements for. Do you have a response there, Anonymous? I mean, there are several. Yep, yep. How come I'm not getting achievements? Achievements. As an update, they have achievements.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Oh, fuck. Oh, boy. So that was from 2013, the thread was. And then Boots just found one from two years ago and it says achievements! It doesn't list any of them, though. There's a bunch of not-loaded pictures, which
Starting point is 00:21:09 maybe it's because I have AdBlock on, but I'm not turning that off. Hey, I'm JizzMaster69. Wow. I can't believe you got that name. You must have got into this shit early, dawg. I'm Keanu Reeves, aka Jizzmaster69. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:27 He had to kill the last Jizzmaster69. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm actually Jet Li. I'm Jizzmaster69 from The One. Okay, come on. Who doesn't like to earn achievements while they jerk off? Thanks. My name's TommyJones651 and I'm verified. Yeah! Well, I'm Dave and I say no. It's all slipping away!
Starting point is 00:21:59 I warned you about this! Corporations are gamifying your porn! Everything's slipping away! Man, they got... Mr. Robot got really desperate in the second season. Ryler says, Two of my favorite achievements were the Bieber and the Ebert.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Was it really necessary to rename them? To... Clearly. What? He doesn't have anything funny to say, but I would like to note that in this comment thread, there's a man with the username of PCNaughtyBoy. Oh.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Oh, boy. Well, he's just naughty enough. No further. He's naughty, but not offensively naughty. Oh yeah, exactly. Miloshish, who is also Veriside, says, He's refreshing! Thank you,
Starting point is 00:23:00 porno hob! My name's Balky. NotSo69 says, I've uploaded a profile pic and logged on from a tablet, but I haven't received the relevant achievements.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Oh, no. Oh, no. Hey, um, hey, Stog. Yes? Let me ask you something. When you're browsing Pornhub, oh no oh no hey um hey stog yes let me ask you something when you're browsing Pornhub everyday yeah um what what have what interface has bothered you the most
Starting point is 00:23:36 has it been the interface in uh on your xbox oh okay or or has it been the interface on your Wii U? Well, I'm a hardcore gamer, and that means I jack off to millions of porn, so the Xbox, obviously. Alright, excellent. So, tell me about your problem with browsing Pornhub on the Xbox. browsing Pornhub on the Xbox.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Oh, I suggest you return the Xbox Internet Explorer browsing to desktop. Oh. Like, don't launch Pornhub, just go back to desktop? No, I just need a
Starting point is 00:24:20 big old picture on my Xbox desktop that says, I jerk off here. Whatever changes were made to the Xbox One IE browsing experience have neutered the functionality of the site. Fixing the full screen issue
Starting point is 00:24:40 was the tip of the iceberg, but I used my Xbox specifically because it mirrored the regular desktop browsers and didn't force the mobile experience on users. Mobile tablet-friendly sites are created for three reasons. Limited screen
Starting point is 00:24:55 real estate, fewer input options, and reduced load times, especially without a broadband connection. None of these concerns exist for console users, so there is simply no need to condense the experience. Create mobile-friendly sites. Experiment with apps. But I'm willing to bet
Starting point is 00:25:12 a substantial chunk of console users, if not the majority, are hugely underwhelmed by the changes. If you absolutely insist on experimenting, at least allow users to revert to the regular desktop experience. Frankly, there's no shortage of porn on the web, and most of what I liked about Pornhub
Starting point is 00:25:29 was the presentation and functionality. Until that gets resolved... Presentation? All right. Until that gets resolved, I'll be heading elsewhere. Oh, no! Oh, no! Sound the alarm! Anonymous won't be jerking off on your website on his Xbox specifically. And then the next thing,
Starting point is 00:25:54 Achilles Heelys, you have a bee in your bonnet, is that correct? It's in there and it won't get out until I jerk it off, probably. You gotta fill that bonnet with cum. I'll take care of it. I'll drown the bee. Why can he not
Starting point is 00:26:14 get the Final Fantasy XIII porn actress who can simulate Lauren Bailey for a Sarah sells out. This is horrifying. Because that sentence doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 00:26:30 That's why not. Why can you not get it? Because that sentence is incomprehensible. Why can you not get it? Final Fantasy XIII born. An actress. I do not get it. Maybe if you explain it, it'll make more sense.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Go on. Go ahead. Explain it. Maybe if you explain it, it'll make more sense. Go on. Go ahead. Explain it. I want to see some Final Fantasy XIII lesbian. Lightning and Sarah Fang and Vanille. Sarah and Fang.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Lightning and Fang. Lightning and Vanille. Final Fantasy X. Oh my god. Lesbian Yuna and Lulu Riku and Yuna Riku and Lulu and Yuna Yuna LeBlanc and Yuna
Starting point is 00:27:13 why can't you get an American voice actresses that sound like the characters are so that you can impersonate the voices to make it more believable. I would be very grateful if that's possible. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Don't even get me started on the Naruto stuff. Okay, I won't. I was just about to do that, though. We need some American voice actors that can sound like characters because it really sucks when you get the other stuff and all the voices sound the damned. The damned? I want to see the damned
Starting point is 00:27:54 in pornography. It could do it better than others pornography. And I would know it. How to do it? Well, I hope you take what I said. Hopefully, I would know it. How to do it? Well, I hope you take what I said. Hopefully you'll take it.
Starting point is 00:28:09 Take what I suggest it is. Good idea for suggestions. Thank you. And let me know if it's possible to at least make it sound good. I don't even know your Japanese voice. Actors are nice, but it doesn't feel the same over here
Starting point is 00:28:26 if you don't hear the same voices. It takes you out of the environment. I know Final Fantasy XIII is a Japanese game, but over here it was not believed the Japanese dialogue in some Final Fantasy XIII and cross lesbian would be very expreciated. Appreciated some good stuff. Not that crap.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Some really good stuff. Thank you. Happy 4th of July, everyone. Achilles Heelys. When was that posted? Yeah, when was that posted? Oh my god. I actually can't see that. It was posted on June 15th,
Starting point is 00:28:59 2016. That means this guy is still out there on the loose. Well, happy 4th of July everyone. Achilles Heelys, while you were reading that thing, I just imagined the theme to Cape Fear playing in my head. Well, I'm coming, Stog. That's the only
Starting point is 00:29:18 feedback that Lenny M has provided on this site, sadly. I hope he got what he wanted. I don't know what he wants. I'm sure he did. It can't be bargained, it can't be reasoned with, and it will not stop until
Starting point is 00:29:33 the last one of us is dead. And Frank West, what do you want to talk about? My name is Mike, and I want to talk about a web miniseries. Oh, good. Okay. Six guys, six girls, five weeks, and two winners.
Starting point is 00:29:48 I'm out. I'm done. Drop in the mic. Leave in the room. Fuck you. You are losing Shark Tank. Reality show that put these amateurs in one house together as they must complete weekly challenges
Starting point is 00:30:04 to avoid being eliminated by the judges panel. Um, okay. You know, like a judge that judges how good at sex you are. That's inferred. We don't know that yet. You're bad at sex! You lose! Well, challenges would include tasks that are needed behind the camera as well as in front of the camera to show viewers an inside look behind the scenes of their favorite
Starting point is 00:30:29 site. Challenges? So like like operating, like a boom operating challenge? Yes. Okay. The two winners of this competition one guy and one girl will receive a contract to become an official adult model of Pornhub.com and a small cash prize. Wow.
Starting point is 00:30:51 You can finally fulfill your dream of being a porn star. You can finally be the Kelly Clarkson of Pornhub.com. All right, Pornhub.com, search Kelly Clarkson. All right, Pornhub.com, search Kelly Clarkson. Will tensions arise between some of the housemates, or will spontaneous romance start to kindle from the heat of competition? Stay tuned. Oh, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Hey! Hey! I became an adult actor for private. I got a flyer in Holland, Amsterdam. Met at the Grand Hotel. There were about 500 guys there. Anita Rodaldi, ex-porn star, now producer, and a panel of like four guys and two women called us in one by one. I had no clust what was going on to be asked.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Anita says so. What do you want to do to me if I spread my legs? Shit. Well, I just came out with the dirtiest shit I ever said. It was weird. Long and short. Hexadecimal 15 of the 500 they chose. Five normal guys. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We spent a week in a house as a TV pilot for some uck program. We were with the world-famous XXXPorn stars Bobby, Eden, Drew, Barrymore, and shit, I forget the other three girls.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Every guy except me tried to cozy up and work it. I just hung out and helped carry the girls' bags and so on. I figured a week of no work, free food, and hot girls. Every night for five days, the girls got together and voted off one guy. The first day, shooting Drew is detting ass-fucked and Anita directing on a boat in a canal. She says, who wants to cum on Drew's ass? Im all. Sure.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Leave, leave. I guess. Alright, fine. But it has to be done. Fuck, I blew a load. That hit Anita, squared her eyes eyes and all over Drew's ass. Remember, I had noid come for a week. It was quite funny.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Anyway, on the final day, I was the last man standing, and my prize was 200 woo-ro, and an opportunity to become an actor. It was better than being the bar manager at the Marriott Hotel, so I did it for four years. Was it, I mean, a manager? Yeah, maybe. It's probably free cocktail.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Okay, fine. So, like, but finally, after you have done everything, I was bored. The travel to the Czech Republic, Estonia, Bulgaria, etc. was tiresome on a plane in the hotel up at 8, tanning for 30 mins. Taxi rides fucking for 4 hours, which translates to like 40 minute screen time. 700 euros a scene. I was done. A great experience.
Starting point is 00:33:32 But anyone who thinks it's not a job, wrong. You work. Hot lights. Hiv tests every two weeks before a shoot. No fucking for a week up to the shoot. When you got a sweet chick fucking the shit out of you and not to cum.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Do not cum, or not to cum. That is the question. Oh, fuck. That is a whole mindfuck and really took away the pleasure of sex. Now, I enjoy shooting reality off-the-cuff stuff with no false shit, not at all pro. Lighting sometimes good, whatever. I set up
Starting point is 00:34:08 three Samsung Galaxy Note 4S put on voice control. What? What? I believe I said, I set up three Samsung Galaxy Note 4S put on voice control. You filmed a porn
Starting point is 00:34:23 with three cell phones? It's because it's reality shit, dude. Okay. I've actually got like a paint shaker that shakes the phone so it looks like somebody's holding it. Is that how unsteady your hands have gotten, Acier?
Starting point is 00:34:43 Yeah, I've been jerking it the whole time I've been writing this. Come on, man. Okay. I have post-traumatic stress distorted. This is why I talk like this. Say, shoot, pause, stop, resume. Nothing complicated. I think you guys may give this a think.
Starting point is 00:34:59 I have done it, experienced it, and I know the work. Who knows? It could be a great show. If you're interested in any other info, please don't hesitate to ask. That's a sentence, to ask. Here in Spain, it'd be so easy to do.
Starting point is 00:35:14 I have access to a 12-room mansion in Zagaleta, the most expensive place to live in Europe. I deal in stocks and real estate. So access to great locations is free. There is a lot more info you may want. I have two guys that shoot short films.
Starting point is 00:35:30 They have all equipment rolling camera tracks lighting the lot. They would shoot for the fun of it, and they are very good. So let me know. I would love to get involved in a project like this. You can easily find the five girls. Well, don't want to bore you. All the best. Brad Burger.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Thanks, Brad. Thanks, Brad. I'm not actually a burger. I'm just spelled like one. Say hi to Mia Sheskrate. I did send her a mail asking if she could send me some porn books. Oh my god, how are you still going? I have lots of endurance.
Starting point is 00:36:07 I am a stunt writer. I am a stunt writer in addition to being a baking manager and an ex-porn star. Oh my god, yeah. I am also very believable. Red Bull, Extreme Sports, etc. It'd be cool to have a porn hub super bike. All the best, Brad Berger.
Starting point is 00:36:23 I don't think it would be super cool. Is this a job interview? What is going on? I don't think that's cool at all. Oh, God. And phone numbers and email addresses follow. Right. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Hello. Hello. My name is Xavier Jackson. Hi, Xavier Jackson. Xavier, you sound like my friend Boots. That's interesting. That's a coincidence, Xavier Saxon. Xavier, you sound like my friend Boots. That's interesting. That's a coincidence, I'm sure. Entirely unrelated.
Starting point is 00:36:51 Okay. My suggestion is Carer. I was wonder wrong if I could have a job with you guys. I was wonder wrong. So I was wonder wrong I was So I was wonder wrong Yeah Oh you're the Oasis song They never went with
Starting point is 00:37:13 Now I'm Samantha Okay Me touching my body I wanna fuck myself That's all and upload videos Without my email. Okay. You, I'm Michael J.
Starting point is 00:37:33 My avatar has been removed. You should create a new email for doing that, whilst being aware of privacy, e.g. complex password proxy server. Do so responsible, best of fuck, I mean luck! Oh, that's my side getting slapped. Frank West. Yes. I was just, while Acier was reading that entire thing
Starting point is 00:38:07 by the way that entire thing that Acier read there was in all caps and while he was looking at that I was just looking at the homepage of feedback.pornhub.com and I found two different ones I would like you to choose which one you would like to read here the first one is called, I Can't Download a Video.
Starting point is 00:38:30 And the second is called, Sex. All right. My name is Anonymous. Yep. Sex. Sex. Sex? Sex. Yes. Sex? Sex.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Yes. That got 249 upvotes. That's kind of disappointing. I suggest you sex. All right. In Kenya, Nairobi, connect me with two back men to fuck me today. Two back men? I want two back men.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Look, it's two back men. This is not complicated I guess it seems a little complicated But okay Randy Backman From Backman Turner Overdrive I
Starting point is 00:39:15 I need two cocks No I think you read that incorrectly Need two cocks Thank you, thank you Well, I have to give you here Sex Sex
Starting point is 00:39:33 Yeah, exactly, sex You can watch us having sex? Hey! Sex Please wait a few days till you're sober Please don't seek out sex you will regret for the rest of your life. Please be safe. Sex help.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Sex help. Sex help. Sex help. Help sex. All right. Who is the angriest person in this podcast right now? It's Frank West Frank West, will you tell me what exactly you're angry about right now?
Starting point is 00:40:13 Can you hear it in his voice? Okay, I'm anonymous Yeah, you are Why no feet? Femdom on premium Sad Sad collection compared to non-premium. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Damn it. My thing is femdom, and particularly foot domination, goddesses' feet, worship, etc. So I finally realize after all these years, oh shit, I should sign up for premium. $9.99 a month. Aw, fuck yeah! Aw, fuck yeah. Aw, fuck yeah. Then I get there all ready to pound pole.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Pound pole? Pound pole? Pound pole. Ew! I'm dying. I'm creating a new parking space, everybody. Stand back. Stand back. Pound pole. Pound pole
Starting point is 00:41:05 Pound pole That's Hot That's very hot That is All ready to pound pole And Hardly any fucking videos at all
Starting point is 00:41:19 Fuck Fuck Fuck Now you're complaining There's no fucking videos How much fucking Is there in goddess foot worship? Oh, you're a bad foot, aren't you?
Starting point is 00:41:29 Yeah, you're a bad foot! Yeah! Oh, you're gonna get punished, foot. You're gonna get punished this time. And what is the punctuation on your final fuck there? That is a colon period. Which I guess is like fuck, and then like a list colon period. Which I guess is like fuck and then like a list of period. It's a little off center
Starting point is 00:41:50 but it's the therefore symbol. And I feel like Brett has heard this like a lot of times already. Yeah, what does he have to say? That's a pretty unique niche. I mean we already have 80k videos but only a couple
Starting point is 00:42:05 femdom. We're already adding more premium content. You also get the regular stuff in 1080 when available. Don't forget that part. I want to see feet getting crushed by women's feet. Is that how it works?
Starting point is 00:42:21 I need hot foot-on-foot action. Making Brett Hall want to kill himself. Where's my foot-kicking porn? I want to kick him! Very sad. Also, just going back to that title there, when it says, Why no feet, comma, femdom on premium,
Starting point is 00:42:43 exclamation point, exclamation point, question mark, question mark, sad, period. That has a very distinct Trump tweet vibe to it. I'm not saying I know for sure that's Donald Trump. Clinton's feet are not able to dominate, sad. Viewers, you know what to dominate. Sad. Viewers, you know what to Photoshop. Alright, are we ready to talk about societal change?
Starting point is 00:43:10 If I said no, will you believe me? Boots, you're into societal change, right? Alright, great. So, how are we going to make that change? I'm Hank. Hi, Hank! Societal change. This has one vote. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:27 I just wanted to give you guys props on not only leading the way of making porn accessible to everyone, but also transforming the way that we think about our sexuality. Every day... Why is we in quotes there?
Starting point is 00:43:43 Because I mean me. Because this guy isn't with anybody at any point in time. Fair enough. Every day, more and more people seem comfortable at admitting that they're horny as shit. And I think this is due to people watching more porn and realizing it satisfies their ingrained human desire. And that desire isn't bad, but simply natural. Thanks, Pornhub. Well, that sounded sarcastic.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Thanks, Pornhub. I forgot to put quotes around everything I was writing there. Oh, we need more quotes. And there's three exclamation points. So it's, thanks, Pornhub. Thanks, Pornhub. Thanks, Pornhub. Hey, y'all. My name's Bobby, bitch.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Hi, Bobby, bitch. Yeah, I'm Bobby, bitch. I got four votes. Why y'all got so many dickheads? Take that shit down. That shit is gay. Hey. That's the title, but what's your message?
Starting point is 00:44:50 I'm so glad you asked! Why y'all got so many dickheads? Take that shit down, that shit is gay! Hey! Hey, Bobby bitch! What? Isn't it great when you're watching a scene with beautiful girls and your eye goes to the right and there's a huge throbbing cock gif.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Yeah, I want to know what Richard Crawford has to say about that. This is important. Thank you. I made another complaint about that shit a few weeks ago, and the faggots at this site haven't responded to it. They haven't responded to it? Oh, no. Well, they're probably taking it back to the collective. Oh, yeah. site haven't responded to it. They haven't responded to it? Oh no! Well, they're probably taking it back to the collective. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:30 I am tired of seeing faggots showing their piece of shit dicks. Yeah! Especially the ones about erectile dysfunction. I only want a full shit dick. That was like jumping into a pool of razor blades. Oh.
Starting point is 00:45:47 So the problem with gay guys is their dicks are bad? Is that your argument, Richard Crawford? You are confusing. Achilles Heelys, you're looking for a tutorial video, right? Oh, always. Yeah, always, yeah. Okay, what sort of tutorial video do you're looking for? Uh, on how to fuck.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Oh, yeah. Hey, Pornhub. I know you get a huge load of work on your head, but I got an idea. I hope you get a huge load of work on your head, but I got an idea. I hope you'll be interested. The idea is that you should create a series of videos informing people how to have sex from liking the pussy to like the first time anal preparation, like stuff they don't teach in school, stuff that are considered taboo. they don't teach in school stuff that are considered
Starting point is 00:46:44 taboo. I know it's a simple idea, but I hope you like it. Waiting to get a response. I mean, I do. I do like it, but maybe for different reasons than you intended. Waiting to get a response, even if it is like, fuck you!
Starting point is 00:47:01 Lesson one, liking the pussy. Kind regards Sismon Jeroz Wow Sorry, Anonymous has something to say right away Liking the pussy Yo, what does Anonymous have to say?
Starting point is 00:47:24 I got hugely oh. Yeah. My name's Garf. My name's Garfield. My name's Garfile Heldpeat.
Starting point is 00:47:41 My name's Garfile Heldpeat. Anyway, I love to eat pussy until it's cum runs down to her ass and then I start licking it up space. Exclamation point. Hey, look.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Who doesn't? Guys, guys. This does not belong to an adult porn site. Sex should be discovered naturally by each individual. I am not sure how anal preparation fits in how to have sex or why it should be taught in schools. Lol.
Starting point is 00:48:16 Maybe what you mean is just videos on how to perform different sexual acts properly? I am in for this idea, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. God. What the... Secondly, there's a genre for that,
Starting point is 00:48:37 at least for males. It's called Jerkoff Instructions. The adventures of Jerkoff Instructions. So, just to give you a concept of time right now, we are recording this podcast right now on June 25th of 2016, which is one, two, two days after the Brexit vote where England decided to destroy itself and
Starting point is 00:49:09 I'm just leaving you in with that we're nothing if not a political podcast right just leaving you in with that because Boots just found something that is pretty great oh you want me to take it, honey.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Oh, you want me to take it? Okay, great. Okay. I suggest you censor all videos with European porn stars in the lead-up to Britain's EU vote. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Pornhub. That's cute. And all the ships at sea. Let's go to press. That's the HMS Pornhub. Oh, no. I have a suggestion. Could you please
Starting point is 00:50:01 remove or pixelate all videos that include European porn stars in the final days before Britain's EU vote? We are voting whether to stay in the EU or not. Leaving the EU, aka the Brexit could be disastrous. We need to be reminded about how valuable Europe is to us Wow, this is some
Starting point is 00:50:33 this is some Lessa Strata shit going on here To reiterate, we need to be reminded about how valuable Europe is to us Brits. I feel like pornography is the best medium to get this message across. Okay, we're just going to send all our Pornhub employees out to Britain, and we're just going to have them manually scratch out all the European porn stars on your monitors.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Just wait a couple days. That sounds wonderful. Does this dick look English to you? That dick's a little Polish, honestly. Kinda got a kielbasa look to it, I don't know. Sweet regards, L
Starting point is 00:51:21 and L. And, you know, the community organizer, what's his name there? The Pornhub guy that shows up. Yeah, Brett, at no point does he take place in this thread. At no point does Pornhub take action, like, on this thing, and then Brexit fucking happens. To go into every single video with somebody European and pixelate them. Yeah, they could have done that. They could have done that.
Starting point is 00:51:49 They didn't. They were just too lazy. So... And now, we fucking lost the UK. Oh my god. The gods don't even know where they are. Just immediately sank into the ocean.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Farewell, foot fetishes. I'm Gary Gimpa. Okay. Hashtag Bromain. At Pornhub. Make it happen. Yeah, Pornhub. Make that hashtag happen.
Starting point is 00:52:27 This thing looks like a Stog one to me. Stog! Yes? Frank West found something delightful as well, but Stog, what is your opinion on drugs? My opinion is not support drugs. What's your name? I'm K and not support drugs. What's your name? I'm K and not support drugs.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Well, he's not very special, though. He's just a regular K. Can Pornhub not support drugs which are for pathetic, worthless low lives? I came on to mobile Pornhub today and saw Pornhub's symbol next to the weak symbol. K and D are so far away from each other on the keyboard. Lick, seriously?
Starting point is 00:53:16 Ew. Everyone has sexual thoughts, but drugs, smoking, or alcohol? That's for low-life people who have no lives. And, uh, Boots, you are Hacker Bob. Yeah, Hacker Bob. I'm Hacker Bob.
Starting point is 00:53:30 Hacker Bob Hacker. You pussy, it's 420, well now 421, dumbass. I mean, like, seriously. And I added the E in like. I think everybody should I think everybody should smoke one with you just to chill your ass out myself i loved good weed buzz before i get my fuck on like 99 of others leaving you like the one percenter and i'm not talking about no mc one percenter if you know what MC means and if you look it up moron weed is not drug
Starting point is 00:54:06 oh what is it thanks hacker Bob master ceremonies yeah he's a one percent MC's who don't do drugs if you're also in that group
Starting point is 00:54:22 then like this comment and share it and Frank West, this is a post from July 10th of 2015, and what is your name? If you have a name, please share it with us. Get off my fucking
Starting point is 00:54:44 hard drive, Pornhub. Share this idea. You let the right one in. Pornhub is actually Amazon Web Services. Who is featuring your clips? Very simple question that should have been answered a long time ago. Alright.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Either it's someone on your staff, which means that there's nothing preventing all people from being accounted for, and therefore you knowing exactly what's going on with the shit here. Or it's some kind of random computer generated thing to pick out clips, which leaves the only explanation being that the people doing this are hacking you to do this. Okay, so whoever's hosting our videos, it's either Dave or the Cochise AI.
Starting point is 00:55:37 If it's in any way control of human hands, then you should be able to account for every human being that could possibly be doing everything I've said they've been doing. You should be able to account for every human being that could possibly be doing everything I've said they've been doing. You should be able to list names, as many as there are who could in fact be doing this. That is what you would
Starting point is 00:55:53 do if you actually... I am lost on the pronouns. That is what you would do... That is what you would do if you actually tried to put effort into understanding what's been going on here. Start being useful. My name is Brett Hall. I'm the product manager here at Point. And here we go.
Starting point is 00:56:16 It's all automated, David. We have algorithms that find the hottest videos, feature them on the homepage. I'm sorry to disappoint, but there's no way a human could feature a video. I'm just gonna take this video. I'm just gonna put superglue on the page. I'm just gonna slap that video
Starting point is 00:56:41 right there. Everyone enjoy! Guys, look at this man's posting history. Holy shit! That's a lot of words. And then, Frank West, read the one that starts with I don't believe that.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Sorry, I went to his posting history, which I probably should not have done. Yeah, sorry, just on the topic of that, he's got to post this title. Make Chloe Foster and Dakota Sky have sex. God. Just mash them together like dolls.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Come on, God damn it! Like Barbie and Ken dolls. Give Brett Hall a raise! Put them in an arena. Put them in a glass jar and shake it. Come on, fuck already! I don't believe that.
Starting point is 00:57:34 First off, it seems to be the same video uploaders that get their videos featured a bit more often than just any random video from any user. If it really were random, there'd be way more variety in the uploaders that the videos are chosen from. Secondly, in the few times that Kara has been away
Starting point is 00:57:50 and it's someone else planting, I say that something that the hired planter decides affects them in a personal way of some sort. They've revealed who they are, and usually it's a Pornhub intern account, or someone in the 30 seconds or less clip wearing a Pornhub clip. They clip wearing a Pornhub clip. They're wearing a Pornhub clip.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Like, on their body. That's how I made rent. Find the Pornhub clip and win a prize! So unless the actual planter of these clips is just happening to pick those ones, or frame it to look like Pornhub is doing it, it has to be one of these actual people. Plus, if this actually were how it was decided, random. You would have said so a long time ago,
Starting point is 00:58:34 not coming up with excuses after excuses and abusing the medical system. By calling him crazy, I assume. Hey, sick and injured people, you want to watch some porn? So, yeah, as you just realized here, Get Off My Fucking Hard Drive Pornhub is amazing. If you click on his name there, Frank West, will you just read some titles of posts that Get Off My Fucking Hard Job Pornhub has made? Yes, and it should be clear I don't understand if this is in
Starting point is 00:59:11 chronological order, because I went to the first one and he's already talking about how they should know what's going wrong. He has these really lengthy rants that it seems to be, every time he works on a Word document and then closes it and then opens Pornhub, he finds that all the content is related to the stuff from his documents, such as, when I checked Pornhub at this time, the newest feature clip released 36 seconds ago has a running time of 8.09.89, referring to my girl's job, who was responsible for this mess, and an Asian girl. She's Asian.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Sitting on a guy's face, representing her job. Wow. Her face represents her job? That's evidence that they're scanning his hard drive and catering the content to him. What does her cunt represent? This is the most specific gang stalking
Starting point is 01:00:06 I've ever seen. Stop surveillancing my hard drive and deciding content. Pornhub is scanning my first draft novel and making porn videos out of that. How's stop? And so, yeah. So, Frank West, what are some titles there?
Starting point is 01:00:25 I'm still stalking up pictures for when it starts working again to show that you're doing this still. Okay. Since you won't acknowledge it when it's negative, here's the positive evidence of your site and her planting at it. Well, at least it's positive. Do I have to keep putting up shots that show how even when she gets to sleep, someone takes over and stocks my preparing
Starting point is 01:00:47 legal documents? Pornhub has become sentient. It's all over, man. Oh, man, if Pornhub became sentient, it would immediately destroy mankind. That would be a site that would have a very poor opinion. You want more screenshot
Starting point is 01:01:16 evidence that you're doing this? Here's a 714 view clip. The day she likely gets processed served at her 714 job. And then, Frank, take the one that starts, I'm done with you, Pornhub. I'm done with... Is that on the second page?
Starting point is 01:01:34 It's in the chat log there. Yeah, second page. I'm done with you, Pornhubub I want you to stop working with Kara and your site off my hard drive now at one point Brett Hall says please just stop David
Starting point is 01:01:59 it's getting tiring talk to a friend or family member about these accusations and then what does get off my fucking hard drive porn have to say about that I'm not fucking talking to anybody but you who is doing it and keep going keep going I always give specific details of exactly
Starting point is 01:02:23 what you fucking did and that you never refer to them in anything you say about this I could type Wow, you just told them And you would say the same thing no matter what. So that was Get Off My Fucking Hard Drive Pornhub.
Starting point is 01:02:52 That was about .5% of his output. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, we can't spend we're coming down to the end and we can't spend all our time there on that crazy person. We can't just focus on some crazy person on Pornhub. That would
Starting point is 01:03:10 be irresponsible of us. So instead we're going to talk about Bitcoin. Yay! Yay! What site was it that had the same thing as this before? It was... It was one of the weed ones.
Starting point is 01:03:28 It was one of the weed duck ones. Shroomery. Well, we lost Frank West. Okay. Well, that's fair. Okay. Hey, y'all. Hey.
Starting point is 01:03:46 I just got kicked off the shroomery. And then I was sitting here on Pornhub with my cock in my hand. Yeah? Yeah. We're like cock brothers. Yeah. You souled Implement Sex Coins. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:04 Why? Okay, let me tell you. Let me tell you why. sex coin. Oh, yeah. Why? Okay, let me tell you. Let me tell you why. Here's why, idiot. Please implement sex coin. Alright. It's a cryptocurrency
Starting point is 01:04:19 like Bitcoin, but it's special made for the adult industry. And it's special made for the adult industry. And its major fiat or tie hat, it's completely anonymous. So it's Bitcoin. For more info, sexcoin.info. I wrote sex in my Bitcoins. That's how it works, right?
Starting point is 01:04:46 It's got a slider, and it says, first buy sexcoin, then have fun. Most popular wallet. Achilles, what does Brett Hall have to say about that? Why not just accept Bitcoin? What does sex coin offer? And Stog, Stog, you are Jonas. Hi, I'm Jonas.
Starting point is 01:05:11 Sex coin is a currency special made for the adult industry. Okay, okay. Helpful. Sure, but what are the advantages over accepting Bitcoin? And then Acier takes JonJo. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:05:28 What it offers is the ability of your site to make more money than you can with Bitcoin. This is because Bitcoin's price has already exploded. If you accumulate sex coins now, before all the other sites start doing it... Oh, of course! Of course! Of course! Look, look, look, look!
Starting point is 01:05:48 It's valueless now! And that's the appeal! Okay, currently 100 sex coins are worth 8 American cents. Shit! It's quadrupled in value because it was 2 cents I read a little bit earlier.
Starting point is 01:06:03 For 1 or for 100? Oh, for... I don't know. I don't give a much of a shit. I'm just going to carry a wheelbarrow full of sex coin down to my local porn shop. Well, so this is interesting. Look, guys, I just invented this coin. I want to have free porn. Come on, take my money.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Because Google will actually show you currency valuation, so I said sex coin to USD, and it said one US dollar equals.9 euro. Ugh. Well, that's so brave. Thanks, Google! So first Brexit, and then they just
Starting point is 01:06:38 replaced it. Yeah, that's their fix for their financial problem. They're replacing the euro with sex coins. Here's some more currency options. One sex coin is the equivalent of 4.39 flutter coins. Flutter coins? It's 0.00 master coins.
Starting point is 01:06:59 How many doge coins? Let's find doge coin. It is 2.91 Dogecoins oh it is more valuable than Dogecoin wasn't there a Juggalo coin oh my god wow
Starting point is 01:07:15 isn't that just called Fago I mean that's the currency of the realm yeah Juggalo JuggaloCoin.org I mean, that's the currency of the realm. Yeah, juggalo coin dot org. It is seven times as valuable as the Gideon Frank. Why won't Wells Fargo take all my Spago? It is worth 90.79
Starting point is 01:07:39 Silicon Valley coins. Man. Oh. Yeah. It is worth 0.00 unobtainium. So, thanks science fiction.
Starting point is 01:07:55 And looking here at feedback.pornhub.com I see there are 551 pages of topics such as I fuck thanks you're welcome
Starting point is 01:08:12 I have designed a new logo for your site that I think you will love it's a penis and it's ejaculating and it's a penis and it's ejaculating and it has a copyright in it. Unsubscribe me. Children use this computer.
Starting point is 01:08:33 Oh, hey. Hey, man. Some people like Furari. 70% of the mans like her because she has boobs in her dick. Black people options should be at the bottom. Real beautiful girls fuck ad have sex.
Starting point is 01:08:49 Open and playing video fucking sex. What is ad block and how do I disable it? It's poping up by itself, you cunts. I don't search that shit. Just type anti-lesbians. It's fulling up by itself, you cunts. I don't search that shit. Just type anti-lesbians. It's full of dick girls.
Starting point is 01:09:10 Plain and simple. A category dedicated to screaming. My video was fostered mood recently, and I will not stand for this. Hi, I just really like Pornhub. Please, please, please, please tell to Danny Daniel to ready for anal sex because her ass is so beauty. What good will it do if your dick is impressively erected out of your pants? Just be yourself.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Category. I am Adrien Monty. You might get ampputee porn Have sex games on the site so people can Live the action More socks Getting fucked If you select porn stars
Starting point is 01:09:55 You should be able to select what type of porn star you want I want a double barrel Cock sucker Add a cum button Get more girls twerking Similar to the like thumbs up button double barrel, cocksucker! Add a come button. Get more girls twerking. Similar to the like, thumbs up button, but instead of saying, I like this, it would mean I came to this. This wouldn't be
Starting point is 01:10:14 terribly hard to implement and could be used as a weighting factor, or even just a fun statistic for the posters to know how many people they've gotten off. You need to create a category for straight guys who wish to make videos as we jerk off. Because it's rather stupid to lump us in with gays, since we are not gay!
Starting point is 01:10:31 Nothing against gays, though! Add a story mode. What? What? You mean like in the later Mortal Kombat games? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:45 You gotta progress your way through the porn. My suggestion for the whole team of Pornhub is to add story mode. Related to reality, but not fully reality. If you are finding it difficult to write story, I have story, which is very interesting. I maximum prefer for story sex, please. Add some nice story mode sex. very interesting. I maximum prefer for story sex, please. Have some, add some
Starting point is 01:11:05 nice story mode sex. I won't lick your clit. Rub my cow cow over. You want me to do anything? Keep it just the way it is. Bravo. Oh my! That's one satisfied
Starting point is 01:11:21 customer. I think that might have been Brett. I suggest a filter My! That's one satisfied customer! I think that might have been Brett. I suggest a filter where the we can choose the countries where we want to be seen or we don't want to be seen. That will make the sex video business to grow a lot. R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Those who are as that's what trips their sexual trigger. Hey, women also want filth porno. Filth is the same as milf, but with hot daddies. Daddies, I'd like to fuck.
Starting point is 01:12:08 No, it's father. I have a very specific taste, and this garbage turns me off. Well, what kind of garbage turns you on, then? Apparently not stepbrother stepsister mother videos, but... Clean up your act, Pornhub. You're going to turn everyone off with all this porn. It would be cool to see how many people are watching porn near us and maybe even see what type of porn most of them are watching.
Starting point is 01:12:36 You should accept me for possum and little dick porn. Ugh. Have a place where you can chat with porn stars. Get rid of lesbian gay porn! It's not right! Have a place where you can chat with porn stars. Get rid of lesbian gay porn! It's not right! Stop being sexiest, assholes. Great.
Starting point is 01:13:01 So, F+, what did we learn from any of this? Fuck. Brett is the perfect man for his job? Yep. Brett is stuck in purgatory and we need to break him out of there. Actually, no. He's stuck in purgatory and he doesn't know. I would kind of really like to have Brett's job.
Starting point is 01:13:19 I wouldn't because I'd be just like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I'd have a macro, just on my keyboard, just fuck you. Done. Like, I don't know, well, maybe for a week, I'd be just typing, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I'd have a macro on my keyboard. Just fuck you. Done. Like, I don't know. Well, maybe for a week, I'd say. I'd like to have this job for a week
Starting point is 01:13:31 because I have spent probably like almost a week of work time just browsing through Yahoo Answers and seeing similar stuff to this. But just having it very specifically catered to a free streaming porn site is kind of amazing.
Starting point is 01:13:50 Do you think you'd be a problem solver if you were in Brett's position? That's sort of the fun thing about it, is that 95% of the problems that you're given are unsolvable because they don't make sense. I guess that's the thing that appeals to me
Starting point is 01:14:05 because I have a job where I get faced with actual problems and have to really work hard to solve them and these ones are just like, how do I get dick in computer? I'm like, great. Why foot's stuck in toilet again? Why are there all these naked women on this fucking site? I scrolled through his post history and I would say most of it was someone saying,
Starting point is 01:14:29 please, I need support. And he says, what do you need support with? And then they say, you sent email, and then site didn't work. And then they never respond. I like, I mean, even just when you go through feedback.pornhub.com, you can see all of these people trying to hack the site. Like a whole bunch of these threads are called script alert high. Yeah, like semicolon
Starting point is 01:14:55 drop table users. Exactly. So, I mean, good job uh not uh having your site break from that i guess also there's an awful lot of uh unanswered uh prompts of people either either asking to be in pornography it's like i want to be in porn hopefully with one of these girls um or like people asking just for free shit um like this one one I found was like, I need a car. Could you lend me one with Pornhub stickers on it?
Starting point is 01:15:28 I'm fine with a Fiat 5, but maybe more classy cars like Mercedes or BMW would be better. Shit. I've been doing this. I wanted to get into racing. I wanted my team financed. I've been doing this all wrong. Hey, Pornhub.
Starting point is 01:15:45 Yeah, no. Maybe not. And then I wanted my team financed, I've been doing this all wrong. Hey, Pornhub! Yeah, no. Maybe not. And then I just found a post called, it was just I'm happy. Nice. I'm happy. I'm happy. The website, as always, thefpl.us and there's other ones as well!
Starting point is 01:16:02 Yeah. There is? There sure are. Oh yeah, there's idiots.win, there's other ones as well Yeah There is? There sure are Oh yeah There's idiots.win There's damn.dog There's ball pit There's poop.computer My favorite
Starting point is 01:16:12 There's frankwest.xyz There's frankwest.xyz Your very own Frank West soundboard Go check it out Damn Goodbye It's like having me
Starting point is 01:16:21 Bye everybody Bye Give me a ticket for an airplane. Ain't got time to take a fast train. Lonely days are gone. I'm going home. My baby sister wrote me a letter. I don't care how much money I gotta spend.
Starting point is 01:16:41 Got to get back to my baby. Lonely days are Jonas. I'm Jonas. Jonas. Doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc. Everybody! Doc, doc, goose. Doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, doc, Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc,

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