The F Plus - 223: Penis Problems & Water
Episode Date: August 11, 2016Do you understand homeopathy? We don't. So we brought The Internet's own K. Thor Jensen along as we took a good long browse through the forums of ABC Homeopathy. We still don't understand homeopa...thy, but now we know that a lot of the men who are into it have small, thin penises which don't work very well. This week, Jimmyfranks doesn't count.
Transcript
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Boots Reingear here. You're about to hear a homeopathy episode. We managed to record the
entire episode without actually explaining what homeopathy is and only afterwards realized there's
probably some people listening that are not familiar with it. So here we go. Homeopathy
is a non-scientific medicinal practice invented by a German physician in the 18th century. It
is the practice of providing homeopathic remedies
for ailments. A homeopathic remedy
is prepared by taking an ingredient
that causes a symptom, such as
coffee, arsenic, or feces,
and diluting one part of it
into 100 parts of water
or oil, and then taking
that solution and then diluting it
into another,
one part of that solution into
100 parts of water or oil usually water and then repeating that process so like
you'll hear things they'll say like a 15 C solution of something and that C is
how many times it's been diluted one in a hundred part one part of the thing
into a hundred parts of water and by the way, homeopathy works.
The more diluted it is, the more potent a remedy it is.
This whole thing is extraordinarily bullshit and will make me very angry.
So I hope you enjoy.
South Philly, Northside, Oakland, Texas, Georgia, Black people.
This is the F Plus Podcast.
One part per million of terrible things read with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear.
Family history of colon.
John Toast.
This episode is actually just one minute of readings and 99 minutes of white noise.
It's just deluded.
Kumquats up.
What?
In anus mouth?
The only real dad on Twitter
This is K Thor Jensen
Sir, when I go to toilet
I increase pressure for toilet
And lemon
Wait, wait, what the fuck?
So, my Skype
So I go
Really, I don't even make the credits now?
So I look at the screen
Wow
So I look at the screen. Wow.
And you just didn't say me at the beginning
of it before, too. What the fuck is wrong
with you? So I look at the Skype screen,
right, in order to just inform
whatever, and
then... And he's like, oh,
no, I don't need any of that. No, it's too late
now, Lemon. It's too late.
Oh my god. Fuck.
All right, you ready?
There wasn't a picture of you.
Okay.
There's not a picture of Toast either.
I remembered that because I ignored Toast in the intro.
Here we go.
Jimmy Franks.
Trigger warning, dick stuff.
And Lemon.
Please help me.
I'm feeling my heartbeat still,
whether I masturbate or not.
Is somebody in the chess battles?
Or, I don't know, a gun?
It was a toss-up between that
and my favorite spelling of masturbation in the whole site,
which would be Mastbushrian. And I don't want to pass you by I don't see the streets Up a lot of cats drive But not you and I, my nigga
We got to get you over
Over the border
Get you over
Over the border
Over the border
Over the border
Hey, F Plus.
Hi, Lemon.
Hey.
Hello.
So, guys, come quats up
and Jimmy Franks
and Boots Reingear
and K-Thor.
Tell me about your chi.
Oh, my chi is perfectly aligned, like a razor's edge.
Do you walk along the razor's edge?
I walk this lonely road.
It's the only life I've ever known.
I don't know if you asked me, but my chi is great.
Oh, okay, good.
I specifically didn't want to know about your cheat.
Thanks.
On that sort of tack, we are going to be going to abchomeopathy.com.
It is a...
Is it owned by Disney?
Is it owned by Disney?
I don't know.
If Disney owns it, they've forgotten about it because it is appalling, appalling looking. It is really, really, really ugly.
There's an alphabetized list of homeopathic remedies on the top.
And then we have a forum.
Oh.
I thought it was going to be like homeopathy about shooting a
poison arrow through my heart.
Oh, good one. That's a deep cut.
I'm still not there.
Yeah, it's too deep for me.
I'm going to spend the rest of the night just wondering
what the hell that means.
I know that's a reference too, I just
don't know why that reference was necessary.
Yeah, so this is a forum with topics.
I'm just looking here on the front page.
Topics such as sagging skin and anal abscess.
Well, at least I got the grammar right there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Piles problem.
15-year-old dog swollen left side of face.
So this document was submitted to us a little while ago by Old Zircon.
Old Zircon points out that plenty of this forum is sort of people that have actual medical problems
and are looking for terrible advice to those medical problems.
But we're not going to be looking at any of that.
Instead, we're going to be looking at threads such as
farts while urinating.
And I'm going to be seething with anger
through every second of this.
That's right. So Boots, start us off here.
Farts while urinating.
I sure am.
Boots will be the Victor Laszlo for this episode.
Wait, that means I'm an expert? I guess I am.
It means that the whole time you're reading things
that make you unreasonably angry.
Talk about your mother.
We're not going to talk about my mother.
Tell me about your mother.
I get
farts while urinating.
It embarrasses me.
Please tell me the remedy.
I also has TSH with 10.22.
Please do let me know the remedy.
Is that a homeopathic thing?
I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of abbreviations in this that are very mysterious.
I think we can probably expect a lot of jargon, too.
Well, we have no help, so maybe we can get help uh on uh jimmy franks's
problem jimmy franks what's your problem oh uh uh yeah this is lonely eyes
pre-come before stool oh oh no oh no hi doc uh i tell you from the start, I have problem with my lumpy semen.
I do Google and found two things.
One is harami deficiency.
Two, massive concentration of protein compound.
So I wrongly take lycopodium and then problem goes worse.
No effect on lumpy semen, but pre-ccom star before stool. I don't know what I should
do. Sorry for bad English.
I don't have a problem
with your English. It's the way
you use it. I mean,
there's some semblance of the word
bad. Isn't Hirome that ape that got
shot in the head?
That's Arami, his brother.
I think leicopodium is what
a werewolf uses to give seminars.
I got the werewolf cum!
Well, again, we have no help there.
I'm sure we're going to get reasonable answers to some of these problems,
so we'll just have to keep looking.
Here is another sex problem.
It is posted by homeop underscore geek.
And Kthor,
that is you.
Oh, is this sex problem, PE problem?
Please solve my problems.
I need urgent help.
Hello to all of you.
I am 27 years old guy.
My height is 5'9".
My weight is 75.
KG. I am
little bit fatty on the tummy side.
I am unmarried.
I have a problem related to premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation.
And also with the penis.
And also your premature ejaculation is unrelated to your penis?
Maybe he's talking about somebody else's penis.
It's with the penis.
I come out of my navel, but the problem is I do it too soon
But before
I want to tell you the main problem
There are some points that I want to share with you
Actually some years ago
When I was a child I did masturbation
But not in the usual way
But in the way that I rub my penis
Against the pillow
Actually at that time I even didn't know about that thing.
What is this?
And what problems this thing can create?
I just find this...
Wait, is this prone masturbation?
Is this from that other episode?
I used to rub my penis against the part of my brain that makes talk happen.
You know, Corpus Callosum job.
It's the two hemispheres just go right over.
It's great.
I just find this thing is a thing of pleasure.
Anyways, in the year
1999, I came to know that this
is called masturbation, and it is harmful
for health. Then I stopped this
thing, and then I started facing the problem
of night emission. And then I took some
medication. I don't remember the names,
but then the night emission problem is solved.
From that,
you know, you could stop
the thread here. This is great.
From that time, I do masturbation very
rarely. Once in three months or once
in six months when I get overly aroused or
excited, but in the same unusual way
as I wrote above.
Yeah, you know, Mr. Goodrich recommends
at least every three months.
Unless you're running synthetic
and then you probably want to do it every six months.
Well, always get masturbated by a trained professional, though.
Yeah, yeah.
I've never been in any type of relationship with any
girl. Till now.
Oh, you don't say. This time, I am
thinking about my marriage that I'll marry in
next one year. But from last some months, I am facing some problems that I want to discuss here.
Actually, from some months.
Whenever I do masturbation, even after six months, I feel that the ejaculation happens very early.
And also, I am not experiencing the night emissions.
And if the night emission happens, then I only know about this in the morning.
Second thing.
Okay. I gotta say, I mean, I'm confused by a lot about you.
But one of the things that's confusing to me about is this concept of premature ejaculation during masturbation.
Like, was it worried. Was it good
for me, too? I mean, what's the problem there?
So what, does he just put up his right hand
and make a puppet out of it? He's like, don't worry, it happens to
a lot of guys.
Oh, I wanted to make this last.
It's our special night.
Ah, you should be flattered.
Second thing,
I am feeling that my penis don't get
the full erection, even after watching some excited things.
I always have itching on the scrotum and sometime on underside of the penis.
And if I start doing itching, then it's very tough to stop.
Oh, of course.
Yeah.
God, you just fucked up your dick all to hell, didn't you?
What was on those pillows?
Burlap?
Poison ivy pillows? You know, they were a trend.
My penis is also small and thin.
Just four inches in erect condition.
And most importantly, some months ago,
I met a very experienced Hakeem Sahib just by chance.
Actually.
What?
I just Googled that.
This is the most important part.
It appears to be a guy with a cooking show.
You mean Julio?
Yeah, that's the only option, isn't it?
Right.
Actually, he was checking the nabaz of some peoples.
He was doing this free.
And also telling them medicines and homely medications.
And I also requested him to check...
Sorry, this medicine's pretty ugly.
Give me five dollars to check your nabaz.
Oh, well, thank you.
And I also requested him to check your nabaz. Oh, well, thank you. And I also requested him to check my nabaz.
After checking nabaz, he told me that a problem of premature ejaculation is coming in you.
And also there is internal as well as an external sexual weakness is coming in you.
Well, if you're having premature ejaculation and you're coming inside of yourself,
then yeah, that is a real problem.
And now we will make lamb karma.
An external sexual weakness coming in you.
It's a hell of a pickup line.
And please cure this problem as you are unmarried and you have time.
He promised me to give some medication,
but unfortunately he had to left for some urgent long journey.
I don't know.
Will I be able to meet with him again or not?
So this is the matter.
I am very much worried,
but I hope some experienced homopath
like Dr. Shorav on this website
reply to me and solve my problems.
Hope to see some replies soon.
Thank you.
Regards, Home Op Geek.
Hello, I am Dr. Shorav.
Take MercSol 200 liquid dosage for one week and then report me. Bye. I am Dr. Shorav. Take MercSol 200 liquid dosage
for one week and then report me. Bye.
Well, Dr. Shorav, you said
other things too, right?
Hello, Dr. Shorav. How are you?
Oh wait, no, that's...
Whoops.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I did say something else. Yes, what else did you say?
Sabal Saru.
Ten drops at noon and night thirty minute before meal with a cup of water.
Agnes, cast 15, drops at morning and evening, 30 minutes after meal.
Take the medication for one month and take pituitary at 30.
See two drops night before sleep every day.
Report after meal after one month.
Dr. Shoroff.
Hi, my name's Learn Home.
I am new to this homeopathy forum. I'm
learning lots of new things about
homeopathy from this forum and its members.
I read the above case.
I want to ask some questions from
Dr. Shorav about this case.
If he answered, then it'll be a
great thing for me. Actually,
as I told, I am learning
I want...
Oh, man. As I told, I am learning I want to ask Dr. Shorav in the above case.
He recommends the MercSol 200 for seven days.
And after the patient reports, now he has recommended some more medications like Cibalsaru, Agnes Cast, as well as Pituitary.
I just want to know, comma kindly, Dr. Shorav,
you please put light
as what these
medicines will do
and what has MercSol done
for the patient? Actually, as an
unregistered user of this forum, oh no,
I have read many cases
of Dr. Shorav in which he recommends
excellent medicines
as well as their modus operandi.
You know,
the typical ways they commit crimes.
So please, Dr. Shorav,
this is a request to you. If you
please, give reply, thanks, learn home.
I'm willing to put a significant
money on the line that nobody ever says
what any of these medications actually do.
Well, there's
links sometimes. For example... Oh do. Well, there's links sometimes.
For example... Oh, I know, it's
fucking water. I've been clicking all
of those links. But water and
some other things in it.
But it has the spirit of
the thing you put, like, two drops in there.
You know, now it's the thing.
Like, as far as I can tell, MercSol is
like the paint of a Mercedescedes and a honda del sol
yeah but in trace amounts in a bottle maybe uh and then dr show rav do you have anything for me
on that um i'll need to move my mic for a sec learn home whoa google learn home
pituitary is the gland hormone which controls the growth of penis and its size and girth.
What?
Sebal Saru is a herb that helps to supply more blood to the penis
and executes the brain function to do more development of sextual organ.
I think there's been a lot of execution of brain function so far.
Agnes cast will soften and repair
the damaged tissue of penis.
As well, it will control the masturbation
habit and execute the balance
of physical strength and mental sexual
need, which will prevent him to have
masturbation during this rebuilding period.
Pituitary
hormone execute from the brain and the body to increase the length of penis masturbation during this rebuilding period. Pituitary hormone.
Execute from the brain and the body to increase the length of penis,
while sebal will increase more attraction of brain to that sex organ to supply more blood and other useful things to increase its size,
and agnus will balance the libido,
but it will soften and repair the damaged tissue and then help...
Merck's sole is a good remedy for patients who have PE problems
with itching scrotum symptom.
So I prescribed and the result was in front of all.
Thank ooh for ooh appreciations, Dr. Shorov, Bangladesh.
So it's a drug that makes you not horny?
Is that what's going on there?
Well, let me explain.
Pituitary is a gland hormone which controls the growth of penis and its size and curve.
Sibal Saru is an herb.
Oh, interesting.
You don't say.
And remember, this guy has a spread of problems, so naturally one medication is not going to handle them all.
It's interesting because I'm Googling some of these things, and the only place that Seibyl Saru is talked about is basically this website.
Right, right, right. Funny that.
That's why people
come here, because they know where the
source of all the good shit is.
Hey, buddy,
can you get me some of that Sibyl Saru?
The very
last thing in this thread is
Dr. Shorav
recommends that somebody takes three doses
of sulfur at three days at morning,
empty stomach 30 minutes before meal.
Report me after
one month! You know,
sulfur, a thing you should put in you
all the time.
Kumquatsop, what did
you find?
Yes, hello! Tapeworms!
Poland help!
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Hello, my name is
HorneoLover2015.
I'm scared.
I'm really scared.
I have been suffering
from itchy nose ears, eyes, and anus.
Nose?
I took albendazole once and passed some tapeworm segments.
The problem still continues.
Stool test results
are negative, so doctors do not
recommend albendazole, but I
can feel the worms crawling in my anus.
And head as well.
Whenever I take
pumpkin, I see
white things in my bowel movement.
Poland,
help. Please, Poland.
Give what you can.
Donate generously.
Just pennies a day.
For just pennies a day, you can get
this worm out of this guy's pumpkin, I think?
I'm not sure. And if you're Lithuan you can get this worm out of this guy's pumpkin, I think? I'm not sure.
And if you're Lithuanian, get the fuck out of this
thread.
Um, uh, uh, uh,
oh, I just, I found this out. I found this one
right now. Uh,
K-Thor, I think this is
you. Um, what,
uh, what problem do you want to talk
about here?
Short height. Eight-year-old
girl, loud
voice.
I don't
get the answer to this car next game.
My daughter is the
same height as her six-year-old
and five-year-old siblings, and she is
not growing as fast as her older
sisters. Time to get out the rack.
She also has
anterior pelvic tilt,
i.e. her bum sticks out from
behind, and she arches her
back backwards, and her tummy
sticks out.
Bum sticks out from behind?
So it sticks forward.
From behind.
Yeah. And then
presumably her tummy
goes backwards then at that point.
Can you draw her posture?
I feel very confused. My daughter is a
Taurus. Please help.
Her feet point
inwards when she walks.
She's trying to do some exercises for
these. She speaks very loudly do some exercises for these. She speaks
very loudly and doesn't realize it.
Her ears get blocked up with
wax and need to be...
It sounds like some of those homely medications might
come in handy here.
My daughter has bonitis and can't
hear. Homeopathy, please?
And need to be properly
deep cleaned.
Maybe once or twice a year.
Maybe do it more?
Fucking Jesus.
No, no, no.
However, even after the ears are cleaned, her volume is a little higher than other kids.
I am not sure if any of these points are related.
I don't think she has sticky ear syndrome, etc.
Her earwax is not runny.
Other kids do not suffer from
these issues.
I would imagine that your other kids suffer from
issues, though, don't they?
No other noticeable issues.
Kind regards.
Huh.
I'm so
confused about
twice a year.
And also, does this guy think the voice
goes outside and loops around
to the ears and comes back in
and she can't hear that?
I can just picture
in this house the daughter yelling like,
Mom, Dad, this shit doesn't work!
And they're like, man, you're really loud.
We need to get some homeopathy.
We need to get some homeopathy to help with your
loudness of yelling about how this shit...
The medication will hear you!
This thread, Jimmy Franks,
is just simply called
Sexual Problems.
Oh yeah! Document once again put together
by Old Zircon, and I will say that
Old Zircon's threads are on a certain theme, we'll say.
Sexual problems.
Dear sir, please help me.
Minus plus.
Age, 35.
52 kilograms.
170 centimeters thin male.
Masturbation.
14 to 35 age.
Is that what you're talking about when you're saying mustard?
Your masturbation?
No, masturbation.
Masturbation.
14 to 35 dollar age.
Yeah.
Cool.
Premature emission, 21 to 35 of age.
So that means?
Masturbation of age.
Okay, look, let me finish.
Maybe this will start to make sense.
Masturbation of age 22 to 35 in night when go to sleep on bad.
Bad.
I think about the actual thought and toots my penis with pillow.
Only once or two time a mission occurred.
Weakness and fatigued after a mission and go to sleep very soon.
It's not a pillow,
it's a pilo.
I'm curious about this touch. Is it like a
bonk? Like a double
bonk? I gotta get
one of these pillows.
Are these like anime body parts?
Oh, oh, oh, Jimmy Franks.
Remember that part where you said maybe this will help?
Yeah.
Didn't.
Oh.
Just a note.
Weakness and fatigued after a mission and go to sleep very soon.
Next day, neck pain, back pain, and legs pain.
I have headache also.
Head pain and head bones.
Scott Cumming fucks this guy up.
Jesus.
Tests, retraction to upward
by clothes when sitting on a chair.
What is this?
So your clothes are pulling you out of your seat
upwards, like that scene from Poltergeist?
These are
some crazy dollar store
instructions.
He's getting ghost wedgie.
I think he means testicles for tests.
So I think his balls are sucking up into him when he sits.
His testicles are afraid of clothes.
Tingling in tests when think about sex.
That's, you know, that happens.
Symptomies.
Plus, minus, minus, plus, plus.
Like.
Sweat mostly.
Rapid talking.
Hair falling out after bath,
gray premature,
vertigo when rising from chair or bed.
I would imagine because of the wedgies.
Nervousness when talking somebody.
Lack of confidence.
Hacitation when meet or talking somebody.
Chilliness by air of
fan in room and during bath.
Chilliness feel mostly in back.
Sweat when walking and
talking somebody. On face, forehead
and back.
Many knaves on skin. Five
knaves on pannus.
You knaves. Get off of my pannus.
Excuse me.
My pannus is much too regal for you people.
I solved the test problem, but I'm still having a large, does he mean nerves?
What could a Nerves...
Nerves is a good guess.
It's possible.
You're doing some very fine idiot whispering.
Back, neck, and legs pain also increase after sitting.
You know, back, neck, and legs pain was my favorite tag team back in the day.
Back and legs pain also increase after sitting.
Back and legs pain was my favorite tag team back in the day.
It's also good to know that he spelled legs like the brand of pantyhose.
Oh, my pantyhose hurts.
Habit, smoking, 14 to 35 age.
When I was five or six, I had 10 to 20 centimeter long warm as I had taken allopathy.
I had also very sort and thin worms in stool till about age
25. I can't say
when. I arranged them by size.
Are you a
silent hill monster? What the fuck?
I can't say when
and this worms sigh up in my stool.
But I
had taken some Ayurvedic medicine
for my sexual problemus.
Problemus.
Problems.
Always when my weakness,
decrease,
sex,
dice,
increase.
When stool is soft,
burning an anus.
After stool and when stool is hard,
not burning an anus. I have a when stool is hard, not burning an anus.
I have a long constipation history.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. Lachrymation
when laid down sometime.
Designed
to lay down on bad.
I can't sit for a long time.
When I sit bent forward,
town coating brown after drink tea.
Gums black along margin.
We're going to go out and coat the town brown.
Lacrimation, apparently, Google says,
means the flow of tears.
So I guess when he lays down, he cries.
I would if I were him.
Listen to this shit.
Teeth feel cold when drink cold water.
Oh, well, you're fucked then.
I mean, who could cause that?
I can't stand for long time pain.
And you can't sit either.
Also can't lay down.
When I stand,
when I stand for five minute pain in legies,
lacrimation, yawing,
and voice roaring
in ear
please doctor suggest remedy
thanks in advance
please suggest homeopathy remedy for me
thanks in advance
and then
going through
a bunch of people comment
and Jimmy Frank's publishing responds a bunch of people comment uh and uh jimmy frank's uh publishing uh responds a number
of times and the thing that i'm i'm noticing here is that like people will suggest they'll just be
like oh take twice a day except for every single person just picks different shit like their
diagnosis never overlap with each other it's almost like it's all fucking water.
To be fair, I think holy water is the only thing that's going to help this guy out.
It was just such a weird mix of something insanely horrifying and then something normal.
It was like worms crawl out of me whenever I poop and eat my flesh.
And also, it's cold when I get out of the bath. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about?
I come too quick,
but also there's a roaring voice in my ear.
Come, damn it, come!
We've all been there.
Boots.
Boots, what do you have?
I am Sabic...
What?
Sabica Malk.
Sabica Malak one.
Sabica Boat, yep.
That's a very, very small font for names.
And I have a problem.
Or I have a suggestion?
I don't know what I have.
Me either.
I have mustard oil massage for penile strength.
Oh, we're rubbing mustard on our dicks.
Hi, guys.
Hi.
Bad, bad idea.
Hi, guys. Many men Bad idea. Hi, guys.
Many man posting here for harder and bigger penis,
but I want to say please don't try to play with your natural body parts
by using many fake products,
or don't try to take tablets for bigger penis.
Instead, use homeopathy.
The non-fake thing.
No medicine or anything can change the penis size.
Only you will feel
psychologically...
Psychologically silly.
Psychologically silly.
All of that silly is, yeah.
Somehow,
herbal massage oil just makes
good circulation, but not increased
size. Thanks for having fun.
I said some people who are
facing mild erection issue to
massage mustard oil 30 minutes
before bath.
Massage softly
on shaft of penis
not in glands penis.
Wast it when you take
bath.
Regular massage of this mustard
oil you will see some changes in
blood circulation.
So don't take any of these pills. They're obviously all
bullshit. Rub mustard oil
on your penis. That's not bullshit?
Yeah, remember, mustard oil should be genuine.
No other oil or chemicals should
be mixed on that oil.
If you get irritation or
rash, then don't use it again.
Do cardio and stay fine.
Stay fine.
I mean, I don't know what mustard oil is,
but, like, I know what brown mustard is,
and based on that rationale,
mustard oil would probably sting, wouldn't it?
Well, note that he's not talking about penile size here.
He's talking about penile strength.
Okay.
And so if you want to increase the strength, then sure,
rub some fucking mustard into it.
Go nuts. It won't be any bigger,
but you'll be able to lift her up in a
standing position.
Just off the ground.
You're welcome. Hands free.
And then, Toast,
what do you have?
Enlarge man boobs.
I am 29 years old, male, body structure healthy,
and I am fed up with those man boobs hanging around with the rest of my body being trimmed.
They look awkward.
Read it, you boobs.
So you want to enlarge them?
I run a lot, do exercise, shows results in rest of the body, but the chest portion is stubborn.
I also have done plastic surgery, but after three years it comes back again and it won't go.
I have been stuck with boobs for like 14 years now.
Also, my penis size is four inches in shape.
Great.
Okay.
Please prescribe me a medicine so I can get rid of these man boobs and increase penis size and live a normal life.
Waiting impatiently for a expert advice.
Testosterone.
RE enlarged man boobs.
Please help me.
Do you think there's like a filter on this site that blocks any post that doesn't mention penis size? Hot RE large man boobs. Please help me.
Do you think there's like a filter on this site that blocks any post that doesn't mention penis size?
I think I want to maybe do a little data journalism here and comb through these original posts and sort of graph out the mean and medium penis size for this site.
Because we've got a double four inch thin so far.
I love how the only other response that isn't this guy is just like somebody saying like
hi, you know, please be patient. Somebody will
help and then nobody says shit.
It comes back and goes, please help me!
When you're finished graphing
that out, Thor, you should make a post that says
I have problems with my anava
table penis size.
And then
Thor, you've got something related to that, right?
You know,
I
have no beard on face.
Plus little boobs also.
Hey, everyone.
My age is
23. I am from
India. I am from India.
I want to know that is there any remedy that I can also have beard on my face like my friend's frowny face?
Please do something, as I feel really ashamed because of no beard.
My friend suggested me to take selenium 30 twice a day, twice daily for one month.
Should I start taking that medicine?
My testosterone is very low.
Pulse, pulse, help me.
Thanks in advance.
So he's saying, he's saying, I have, I have this specific problem.
It's clearly caused by my, my low testosterone.
So I need to take not testosterone.
That's what I need to do.
I'm the Brisbane homeopath.
That would be very dangerous to use homeopathy
that way.
It would be very dangerous.
Very dangerous.
We're talking about selenium-30, dude.
If he was talking about selenium-10,
sure, no problem.
I mean, it's too rich.
Like, there's like at least two atoms per hundred there, you know. I mean, that's
too much.
You will get side
effects and make yourself more
sick if it
does anything at all. It won't.
We do not have sick if it does anything at all. It won't. We
do not have
a create a
beard remedy yet.
Might as well.
The only way to be cured of a disease
in homeopathy
is to present your case
top to bottom
all symptoms and problems and issues you
have, whether they appear related
to your lack of facial hair or not.
Then leave the little doctor.
Present your case.
Objection.
Overruled.
Damn it.
And you just have to mention any life issue
or societal factor,
whether or not it relates to your specific problem.
Also, my penis is thin.
And small.
Oh.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry, I lost it.
Homeopathy does
not work like orthodox medicine
or herbalism.
You must have the specific remedy choice made on Homeopathy does not work like orthodox medicine or herbalism. Ding.
Oh. You must have the specific remedy choice made on your individual symptoms taken from every area of your health.
Sleep, dreams, mood, mind, appetite, everything.
This is exactly why traditional medicine sucks.
They never talk to you about your dreams.
Never.
Sir, I can email you every detail of mine.
You just tell me what you want to ask.
Kindly reply ASAP.
Secondly, is Selenium 30 right to take for this?
Thirdly, I feel ashamed of going to doctor and discussing my problem.
Cause in India, they all think that I have done wrong things. They look in
such disgusting manner
that you have only choice to
suicide. Frowny face.
I guess, I mean, you didn't go for that choice.
Pulse, help me.
Here are the guidelines for giving
homeopathic case information.
Number one, what exactly happens?
Number two, describe all sensations and pains.
Number three, what causes the problems to get worse? Number four, what exactly happens? Number two, describe all sensations and pains. Number three, what causes the problems to get worse?
Number four, what causes some relief for the problem?
He just came from here!
What creates some relief for the problem?
Number, I don't know, what triggers the problem into occurring?
Number six, what time of the day or night does the problem occur?
Number seven, when do the problems start?
Number eight, describe your menstrual cycle.
Brisbane homeopaths are kind of a dick.
When did you start not growing a beard?
Please be specific.
I love the exchange before that where the guy's like,
can I take selenium 30 for this?
And it's like, well, we need a whole case and we need all this info.
And it's like, yeah, so can I take selenium 30 for this?
Anyways. whole case and we need all this info and it's like yeah so can i take selenium 30 for this anyways uh what specific foods that you crave not just like or hate uh the specific drinks that you crave or hate what your sleep is like again i need you to describe your menstrual cycle
because i i'm paying attention in this conversation i think I think we just need to skip to your last post here. Oh, okay.
Because you seem to have started to actually give relevant homeopathic information,
tell me more about
Ashamed,
Done Wrong Things,
Disgusting,
Suicide.
Whoa.
What are you fucking...
I think I just came out of Eliza right there.
What is fucking Captain Shepard?
Can you tell me more about the disgusting?
What about the done wrong things?
Crazy homeopathy.
Crazy banana-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
Come, Quadsop, you need some help, right?
I need help. Okay, what help, you need some help, right? I need help
Okay, what help do you need?
Uh
Need your help to get rid of
Premature ejaculation
You know, I have an inkling as to
What Old Zircon searched for
I just have this crazy
Notion
I am 22 years old
unmarried.
I have been doing masturbating
since I was 15.
Three to four times a day.
It only takes 8 to 12 seconds
to discharge, and
it is watery.
It sounds very efficient.
It's very efficient.
Even when I think of my girlfriend,
then also semen comes out of my penis.
You're going to have to detail this in at least 25 points.
Are these things related?
Same thing happens when I'm watching any intimate scene in TV.
My penis is very sensitive.
It get up very quickly.
I have been using
Nux 200C.
Before that, I used Sulfur 200 along
with Nux 200C.
But it seems like no improvement.
I am getting weaker day by day.
Please prescribe me some medicine.
Just whatever.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't know if we need to go over everything else, but could you tell us about your nature?
Let me tell you about my nature.
My nature is sensitive, easily get tempered, and body starts to tumble.
Oh, my.
Do you do cartwheels?
No smocking.
Don't let me go near hills.
Please, Doc, save me out of this.
No smocking.
He will not draw anything.
If he draws, he will get his clothes dirty.
If he paints, he will get his clothes dirty.
He will most certainly not work in an apothecary.
I got a thing here.
What do you have?
Precum drops in penis size.
Hello, everyone,
and especially Dr. Mayfoo's
and Dr. Hasnat's.
Yeah, take that, Dr. Cadua.
Hello there.
Yeah, I'm 23 years
old, unmarried, and facing three
problems. These problems have
made me quite
sentious about my upcoming life.
Problems are,
one,
there comes white liquid drops from my penis
when even I talk to my female classmates.
This is too early.
Yeah, I don't like white drops coming from my penis before noon.
This is too early and also in much quantity.
Two, I am not masturbating for at least four years,
but last month I did masturbate and I discharged within two minutes
pre-mature ejaculation.
That was before my mature ejaculation.
Good. Good.
Great.
Three, my penis size is 3.5 feet.
Or was that inches?
Wow.
Well, there's your problem.
My penis size is
3.5 feet right now, but I want it 4.5 feet.
My girlfriend's out just complaining.
She doesn't want to have to see me while we're doing it.
Oh, God, is it in yet?
She's tired of her stepping on it.
She's walking around.
Is it in yet?
What?
What?
Kindly do recommend me a homeopathic medicine that easily solved my feces three problems.
Kindly do will be at the 2016 Gathering of the Juggalos.
So are these three fe the pieces that Martin Luther
nailed on the wall? I didn't read them all.
Our next
thread is actually not about a penis.
Wow.
It's very exciting.
Jimmy Franks.
Your name is...
My name is
Sicka. Alright, well hopefully you'll be healthier. Franks. Yeah. Your name is... My name is Sika.
All right.
Well, hopefully you'll be healthier.
Sika.
Internet addiction.
Hi.
Hey.
Please help with these problems.
I am a 32 years old female.
I have gone to a homeopath but can no longer afford treatment.
We did
some progress for anxiety with our
Seneca album.
There is still mild unexplained
anxiety daily, mostly in the heart region
with stalling of breath is when you hold your breath
to listen to something.
But most important is the internet
addiction for which I am neglecting other things.
No!
My whole life is such a mess and so many things need attention.
Yet I am unable to motivate myself or be disciplined to do them.
Okay, that's depression.
That's not good.
So you need treatment for your depression?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
No, I think you need water.
Oh, sure. No, I think you're right. Oh, okay. Hold on.
I read about sulfur and that type being neglectful of themselves for philosophical pursuit.
I guess my internet addiction could be that.
Nope.
Couldn't.
It actually couldn't.
Also, there is recalling past grievances and bitterness toward my boyfriend.
Okay.
Depression.
Please suggest a remedy.
Thank you.
Probably going on the internet
and asking.
Oh my God.
Like, oh shit.
In the responses,
two different people actually agree.
They both recommend the same thing.
Pankaj Varma says,
if grief is caused
due to a broken love affair,
then Ignatia is the answer.
And Zahid, too, also says that Ignatia is good.
So, yeah.
Fucking proof positive there.
Yeah, you know, so this, it's a good thing that they're dissuading against people just thinking this is just like magic potion bullshit.
You know, this is the medicine for a broken love affair, you know.
You know, the medicine for that specific thing.
Please help someone physical weakness problem due to masturbation.
No.
Please help someone physical weakness problem due to masturbation.
Masturbation.
Yes.
So, I think, Boots, I want to ask you a couple questions.
Is that all right?
Yeah, I want to answer a couple questions.
Okay, good.
Patient ID?
All right.
Sex?
Male.
Male.
All right.
Age?
25.
Okay, please answer the following questions in a descriptive matter after careful analysis
and recollection of previous experiences and happenings.
This is what we're talking about.
We need all of the information.
Okay?
Okay.
So we get your name and your weight.
What's your disease?
Suffering from excessive nightfall for past 10 years.
Every goddamn day.
You need to pick that up with the sun!
Nightfall problems
started when I masturbated some
10 years ago.
Nightfall begins to occur at around
three times a week, or sometimes
two times in a single night,
or around ten times in a month
if not masturbate in a week.
Okay, that's not the right word for that.
Nightfall.
I also have a very weak digestive system
due to which the food I eat
does not get converted into nutrients.
So I'm getting thin day by day.
Are you eating bamboo?
What the fuck?
I'm eating nothing but rabbit.
I'm masturbating from early age of my childhood
due to bad friend circles.
Wow.
Hey, man, have you tried jerking off?
It's cool.
Although these people, I think, are suffering from malnutrition
because they masturbate too much.
I can't find anything else to do with my time.
Gotta go to Sissy Kiss and learn how to eat it.
Yay. with my time. Gotta go to Sissy Kiss and learn how to eat it. Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Anyway, my penis is weak
in the unit of time.
And very small
in size, like an 11-year-old boy.
I'm suffering from
premature ejaculation, very less
time of ejaculation.
I'm highly frustrated about my future.
My height is six feet,
but my weight is only 48 kilograms.
Are you Slenderman?
What the fuck?
Why are these people so preoccupied
with how long it takes to masturbate to ejaculation?
Is there some kind of time trial?
Their race is where they're from?
Time up.
Yeah, dude.
We were talking about that video game.
The Guitar Hero for Masturbation video game.
They need to get a good score.
Right.
Give me something that will revitalize me.
Revitalize me.
Okay, so let's see.
I asked you a whole bunch of questions.
You sure did.
You have a whole bunch of answers.
But let's see.
What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?
Answer.
Mostly semen comes from my urine.
What the fuck?
Actually, now I know why you're so skinny.
And urine color is light yellow.
My digestion has become very weak.
Sometimes I feel electric shock in my left shoulder.
I am a very emotional person.
Whenever I watch emotional scenes in movies and at any other place, I start to weep.
Okay, so you have emotions?
I feel like
that's less of a problem than the fact that you're
cumming jello?
The only movie he has
is Jerry Maguire, and goddammit,
it's a tearjerker.
Camera, grow, you did it again!
It's a cumjerker, you mean.
What are things which
aggravate your suffering, and
which are those which ameliorate the same?
Cold drinks, spicy things, things which are hot in nature.
They both suffer and cure suffering?
Yeah.
Okay.
I answered your question.
Thank you for answering your question.
When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather or humid weather or dry weather?
I like dry weather.
Okay.
How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
Nothing. Okay.
What?
Which for somebody who gets regular electric
shocks in his left shoulder, one would think
that would, you know, have some
kind of result. What are your
fears and do you dream of any
situation repeatedly? No.
This turned into a match.com
profile. What do you
crave for in food items
and what are your aversions?
I'm not vegetarian.
I'm non-vegetarian.
I don't have any kind of aversions.
But about vegetables? I'm non-vegetarian I don't have any kind of aversions Is there any kind of food
Which your body can't stand
I'm not able to digest dairy products
I like sweet testy
Yeah that's sweet testy
Wow
So you don't have any aversions
You really like milk But you don't have any aversions. You really like milk, but you can't.
Okay, gotcha.
Okay.
You got it.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
I asked you about your poop for a while.
I sure did.
I told you all about that.
What major diseases are running in your family?
No.
Describe, comma, how do you look like?
Describe your overall appearance.
Very thin, very weak.
My age, 26.
Weight, only 48.
And height, 6 feet.
Two holes have formed on both sides of my face.
Hair falling problem.
Also done.
hair falling problem.
I have also taken three consecutive dose of
ophthalopidium
200 AS per Dr.
Kudwa prescription, but nothing
happened.
I think this guy is Eddie the Head from the
Iron Maiden album covers.
Yeah, it matches up.
I've also tried many other
medicines,
which probably aren't... I drink a lot of water.
To increase my weight and health.
Nothing helped me.
Please help me to cure.
I'm doing all this shit and nothing's working.
Please help.
We'll just do more of that shit.
I think my favorite word misusage so far in this episode
is the word prescription.
Some douchebag
on a forum said to take some shit
and I did. You know, prescription.
Help, I'm dying. Keep dying, asshole.
John's host,
I think I got some beat poetry
for you here.
Oh, yeah.
So your name is
Honorbon
Honorbon66.
My name is
Onirbon66.
Okay, okay.
Sex problem. Need solution
to increase sex power.
How do I increase my sex power?
I want to increase my sex power
Age
28 years old
Problems are stated below
Number one
I have masturbated since 15 years
No context for that
Just
Since 15 years happened
Number two
My penis is thin and less than five inch.
Number three.
When penis is excited, the semen comes out within 40 seconds.
Number four.
I think you just made the high scoreboard.
Number four.
Even after two or three strokes of penis with soft things, the semen comes out very quickly.
Number five. My testicles are also very thin.
Number six, my semen is very liquid, like as water.
I request all doctors, such as Dr. Mifus, Dr. Hasnot,
please give me accurate medicine that my sex power become long time,
and my penis size become longer and stronger, and the semen becomes more thicker.
I am very anxious about this reason and can't concentrate my daily job at number works.
Please, please, please, please help me.
Okay, number one, are you married?
Number two, do white drops come out before or during stool or after urination?
Any wet dreams?
Do you still masturbate and how often?
Do you always or mostly think or fascinate about sexual matters?
Do you feel physical weakness too?
Do hairs from head or whole body like eye, brows, lashes, whiskers, or chest hairs fall?
How much do you urinate?
Too much or normal? How is your face appearance?
How is it?
And then,
in stark contrast
to John Toast's
piece there about increasing his sex power,
Kamquatsop, what do you have?
I want to reduce my sex power!
Yeah!
Yeah!
His sex is too powerful!
Dear sir, madam, my age is 28 years old, and I am unmarried, and do want marriage in future,
so please suggest me any medicine for reduce my sex power!
Sir!
Hey, reduce or increase? Why do you want to reduce your sex power?
I'm going to blow her head clean off.
It's just irresponsible having the sex power that I have.
What are you, some kind of a dum-dum?
And then, Thor, I think you found somebody who won this forum.
You know, we're at the end of the bell curve here.
Okay.
Penis size soft time, only one inch.
And erection time, three inch.
Hi.
I am 38 years old male.
All homeopath my penis size.
Day by day is losing today.
I have Messermant.
That's normal time.
Means soft time.
Only one inch.
If anybody not believe,
please give me email address.
I shall give it photo.
Little dick. I'll show you how small my dick is, motherfucker.
That is one small
dick.
Little dick at hotmail.com.
Other problem?
I have no sex feeling. i have married before two wife they have taken divorce now i have
marriage new wife she is not say to spy me daily she quarrel and said me why i have married her
she want daily sex with me but i am not able to sex with her. She suck and massage
my cock many time after
come hard, but after one minute
semen come out my
powerless penis.
See,
my wife and said me coward
and daily night she weeping
and she when said this matter
with her friends, I suffer mentally.
I'll allow that to see me
please
give me keep alive a prime
of youth I have no child
I have other problem
muscle tumor I am very timid
what? perception
is losing I like to live alone
my mind is dead
so far that checks out
he's rotten from the inside out
i want fresh and lowing mind but i cannot do it i feel headache daytime i exercise daily sometime
but i cannot reduce my body and belly my chest is 37 waist isy is 40. These measurements. Height, 5'5".
Weight, 78 kilograms.
I feel tired daytime.
I like sour, not sweet.
What?
I fare, but my penis black slash ugly.
Digestion, also problem.
Wow.
Please help me and give a young life and slim and handsome life and sexy life.
I want to sex with
my wife daily. My one
friend advised me to take Cydonia Q
for massage and take daily.
But which drug will help me to sex
long time and daily? I have taken
Viagra. 50 ml.
No result. Okay, thanks.
No, thank you.
Yeah.
I have a terrible dick and I must scream.
There's actually a pretty good moderator response here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've removed the photo because it did not add any useful information.
Please email me with an alternative username and click the report.
Otherwise, you'll find Googling your name gives you space.
I really
both want to see and don't
see that picture in equal measure.
I'm really curious what that was.
Doesn't add any useful
information. Shoot him an email.
No, show it to him.
Type in right now.
Kumquats up. Come Quest Up This thread is called
I believe it's called
Abend Penis
What is this thread called?
Hello
Abend Penis
Downside
Abend Penis Downside A bend penis downside. A bend penis downside.
Hi.
I am 23 years old and a professional accountant in KPMG firm.
Please Google me, employer.
Nowadays, my parents are forcing me to get married.
But I am not satisfied with my sex life.
Since the age of 14, I can say that I did masturbation quite a few times.
I can count on my fingers and never involves in sex stuff.
I have many fingers.
I have normal sized penis
but my penis is very much
bend down side
it's because
I never take out my underwear
while sleeping
take it out where
take it outside
give it it's own little pillow
hey nocturnal Take it outside? Give it its own little pillow.
Hey, Nocturnal, can you please put the underwear out before you go to bed?
And moreover, whenever my fellow colleague talk anything about sex, I start getting wet. Oh my god, my penis is so wet right now.
It's bending down.
When I talk to my girlfriend,
I get wet.
All right, NBWK.
I never had sex in my life.
I have a very flappy penis
in my favorite phone game.
Flappy penis available on
Android, iPhone,
and Windows 5.
And I feel it's
not that strong.
And even when I
walk fast, I feel
some kind of gum
is coming out.
Ew.
So you're just
that, you're just
the keep on
trucking guy with
a wet spot?
No.
That's what it's like to choose five girls.
I'm really worried about my situation.
Please guide me to what I'm supposed to do and how to overcome with this problem.
I think overcoming is your problem.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well done. Well done. Thank you. thank you. Well done, well done.
Thank you.
Jimmy Franks, this, so Jimmy Franks, I'm giving you a thread right now,
and this thread is on the subject of penis problems caused by masturbation.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
I don't have this B.
On ABC homeopathy?
Are you sure you're looking at the right page, Lemon?
I don't know.
It might have weird spellings in it.
Over masturbation, destroy me.
Plus help to recover.
You praying to masturbation?
Please help to recover.
I am 24 year guy I did over
masturbation during 15 to 19
so so much
after 18th
I noticed that I lost my smartness
in face
my pettis became small
also my skin and muscles
around my neck and face
become totally loose
so that I am looking totally
old guy.
After that,
I stopped it
until now. I mean, since last
six years, I left it.
One problem I face after that now,
if I masturbate for one or two times,
then after two to three hours, my face,
skin, and neck muscle become totally
loose and smartness goes from my face.
So when you jerk off, you melt?
It will be recovered day by day as I start to take healthy diet.
But during that, as I masturbate again after one or two days, the same thing will happen every time.
It means as I masturbate, I lost my face smartness and neck muscles goes down.
So to recover from that, I need to take
heavy healthy diet. It looks
like lost and recovery process for me
every time. Yes. Yeah,
dumb face. I know. I don't know what you
mean by face smartness. I know this is abnormal
problem for me. I visited
two sexologists, but they are not
believing my problem. They said
me, that it's your
psychological problem, but I'm still saying that this problem
is there.
Now, after that...
I'm pretty sure a doctor called a sexologist only exists in porn.
I'm pretty sure that's not a real thing.
Me not, you think.
After that, I searched on net and found that this might be due that as I did over masturbate it result in
overproduction of sex hormones and
neurotransmitters like acetylcholine
dopamine and serotonin so that
there is big change in body chemistry has done
I am really frustrated
please suggest help me
I can't
I refuse to help dumb faces
I can't yeah
your face is too dumb.
Um,
uh oh.
One point.
Oh my god, like this response.
Um,
there's
a couple times now
that I've seen like
religious people get on there and they're like there's there's a couple times now that I've seen like uh like uh religious
people get on there and they're like well the only
way out of this is salvation
so that's
weird um but uh
K-Than I'd like you to make us
very sad can you make
us very sad
oh no
child tries to smell
sniff everyone's underarms.
My 2.5-year-old daughter tries to smell me and others' underarm all the time,
even if the smell is foul.
That's true, you old child.
So that's pretty perfectly just a thing that a kid does,
and that's why Dr. Cadwa says,
hey, why don't you give your 2.5-year-old child Belladonna?
How about you do that?
The porn star or the...
No, the fucking poison.
Oh!
No, because the way homeopathy works is you take the thing that... You take the bad thing, and then you dilute it, and then it cures...
Right.
So it's a whisper of poison.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put poison in a small child.
No, it's fucking water.
water.
Well, here, at least in this case, it's a nice thing
that it's fucking nothing.
That there's actually nothing happening there.
It's just diluted to hell.
Although, to be fair, the instructions say
don't touch pills with hand.
Use a hazmat suit.
If the medicine is in pills form...
Anyway.
I'm Modan Zero.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, my sex time is very short.
Please help me for do it many of tea time.
But how?
I'm from Bangladesh.
I can't get any solution for my penis problem.
Where are you from?
I'm from Bangladeshi.
Yeah, you're from Bangladeshi.
Yeah.
That's probably also true.
Is this like afternoon tea or high tea?
Tea time.
Or weed tea?
I think I can't get this problems out of me,
but when I find you're this site,
I just sure if my problems have any solution or it's
just you, doctor.
My main problem is,
and I quote,
when I want to get
ready for sex with my wife all times,
I ready, and she also ready
to do it that time, I start
push my penis into her pussy
just one half minutes and then
my spam out
so like
a commercial starts
hey would you like to meet
sexy girls in your pussy
stop you may already be the winner of this
I think he was he had
some spam in the cupboard he was gonna make a
sandwich later it's a delicacy
it's a very big problem
I think have any solution for
me doctor
please please please please help me problem, I think. Have any solution for me, Doctor?
Please, please, please, please help me.
Hey, I'm Mufuzurahim.
Put like two drops in a giant bucket of water and drink it. The end.
That's like every response
from a doctor.
But it's drops of titanium, so that's fun.
Oh yeah.
Titanium water. How long's drops of titanium, so that's fun. Oh, yeah. Titanium water.
How long should I do it, though?
At morning...
Please take titanium 200
five drops before going to your spouse
and take selenium 200 at morning.
Repeat this course for two weeks and report.
Dr. Mahfouz.
Let me hear back from you, soldier.
I never came back. Must have worked.
Oh, soldier. I never came back. Must have worked. Um, uh, oh, sorry.
What was the...
Oh, man, I can't even do, like...
I can't even do, like, control-F masturbate
because I don't know how it's spelled.
All right.
Masturbation addiction, please help.
Hi!
Hi!
I am masturbating
for the last 20 years.
Just now stopped.
No, what have you been doing?
I am masturbating
for the last 20 yays.
Yay!
Yeah!
And yay, he got masturbated for 20 years.
Let's stop before we get to 20 points.
Yeah, yeah.
I am also suffering from OCD
and already taking homeopathy treatment
and allopathy treatment.
Treatment.
What's allopathy?
I was hoping Boots could tell me.
Boots, what's allopathy?
Something about fucking water.
It's normal treatment.
Treatment of disease by conventional means.
Oh.
Spicy.
Not fucking water.
Get off this fucking site.
From my childhood, if I see a sexy girl,
I think of having sex with her,
and same goes on,
and then I masturbate.
Sometimes four times.
I have lost
all my stamina. Cannot stand for long.
Get tired easily if I climb
few stairs. Eyes pain
and back is also there.
Eyes pain
and back pain is also there. That's what I meant to say.
I always compare
my wife perfect figure
girls, and I am worried that
I do not feel attracted to her. I love her too much. Wow.
And then they're just,
you know, again, just take this
or this one, this one, this one.
Apparently, like, every
one of these homeopathy things is about dick
shit, because that's the only thing that ever happens
in this forum, so.
Apparently.
Everything else is depressing.
Yeah, that's true, that's true, that's true.
I have a serious problem. Oh, yeah?
Drip some fucking water on it.
Welcome to the F-Pros.
Dicks or depression?
Your choice.
I choose dicks.
It's a good choice.
Dude, a bug.
Okay. I don't know why that tickled me so much.
Alright, so here's a page that goes on for like, oh my god.
Okay, I think we're actually going to skip it. But just know, if you go to thefpl.us, there is a 400-post thread about
anal fistulas.
Yeah, there's a lot of butt stuff on this
page, too, that we're not spending
any time on. Great.
Alright, but I think
Thor,
I'll let you finish us off here
with your
problems with low hormone
levels.
Sorry, one second.
A couple links behind.
Problems with low hormone
levels in male.
Need help.
I am Sivaji,
and 33 years old man having problems
with erection for the past
six years.
And so far, I have tried many
medicines by myself, and
unable to get any cure.
The problems that I have are
one. Erectile
dysfunction and penis became
small due to severe masturbation.
Whoa!
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Whoa!
Wow.
2. Lack of sperms and libido.
Kindly help me on this.
Please wait! I'm composing a questionnaire!
Okay.
Can anyone please help me?
Come quatsap, Ken.
Maybe.
Maybe come quatsap, Ken.
Nope.
My name is
Radu Kostashe.
Number one.
How do you feel after sex?
Minus.
Number two.
Mental.
Minus.
That's been true so far.
Number three.
All the problems that you have.
Number three, other.
Well, mental attitude.
I have mental sufferings that are caused due to this erection problem.
I lost faith that I would get a cure for my erection problem.
I feel hopeless and also sad when I think about this problem.
I had a blow on my backside of my neck when I masturbated.
It was a ghost! I had a blow on my backside of my neck when I masturbated what?
it was a ghost does that mean
like blowing like wind
or does that mean like somebody hit you in the back
of the neck? I think somebody hit him
which is, I have to say
just to step out of character for a second
that would be awful if you were jerking it
and somebody like karate chopped you on the back of the neck
that's horrible even just lightly blue on it would be awful if you were jerking it and somebody like karate chopped you on the back of the neck or even just lightly lightly blue on it would be pretty fucking weird
yeah if that happened like i think that that would like affect my habits for like years it'd be like
uh oh shit okay nobody's here sleep with no i think it's just so hard to like pinged off all
the walls and then hit him on the shoulder? Ricochet!
Hmm.
Interactions.
I am a software engineer.
I have a fear that I am not normal due to this erection problem.
Usually my interactions with my friends, colleagues are all good. I have faced insults from them at times, but I left without replying them, as it would be another problem.
at times, but I left without replying them, as it would be another
problem. I have
problems when I have to move with lady
colleagues during my work that also
includes them. Sometimes
I am not able to identify
the gender also because of
this erection problem.
Oh boy, oh boy.
I think the bigger problems are coming out now.
And I get anger too.
This makes me difficult to explain
on certain things at work.
Well, that's true. You are difficult to explain.
They mistake me without understanding
me correctly when it comes to work.
When I see a woman or a lady,
I am unable to get sexual
arousal, and I get sex-related
numbness in my legs.
All the jizz just fills up my legs, and I walk around all bow-legged.
They think I may be impotent, but they are not bad to me.
This is why I have not married so far.
Please tell me what to do for this problem, as I consider it to be a difficult one.
Waiting for the reply. Later that one. Waiting for the reply.
Later that day.
Waiting for your reply.
Okay.
Agnes cast us 200 three times a day.
How many drops to be taken?
And is it to be taken before or after food?
For how many days I have to take taken? And is it to be taken before or after food? For how many days I have to
take it?
Five drops in a spoon of water
is a dose? Five
days? Yeah, you're gonna want to dilute that shit.
Yeah, that's way too strong for homeopathy.
That's like actual medicine at that point.
Is it to be taken before or
after food? I have
nerves problem, which starts from my hip and ends with toe in both legs.
I want medicine for damaged nerves in my legs, which caused by over-masturbation.
How are you masturbating?
He's jerking so hard he's pulling the nerves up and into his neck.
He's shooting them out of his body.
There is a gap.
Minimum 30 minutes after eating, and minimum 30 minutes
to the next eating. For the
nervous problem, we will give it a remedy
after the erection problem cool down
80%.
Do not consume
homeopathic medicine before jerking it.
I'm already getting some hard numbers.
No, this is like Dick Dota.
Oh man, I didn't recharge in time.
Now my homeopathy is...
I'm sorry, guys.
I lost a round.
God damn it!
You ruined the masturbation!
I should have waited.
I should have waited for my homeopathy drop to recharge.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm sorry.
F+, what did we learn from any of this i noticed that some of the the early ones we read
here it sounded like the symptoms sounded like a big part of the problem was dehydration
um which means that they were almost in the right idea like they needed some fucking water but they
just needed enough of it well they need they because you wouldn't get enough water right or
do you drink a whole glass or i think it probably helps if it's expensive water.
Yeah, like they need water, but they really want to have water that's like charged 10 times the amount of what regular water would be charged.
I mean, there was definitely like a lot of just hormone problems happening here.
Like, genuine hormone problems.
And again, that's where homeopathy can be, you know, because nothing is not something.
That's the thing about nothing.
What really got me through this whole thing was a real lack of perspective on what is a symptom and what is just existing in the world and feeling sensation.
Like, I have a problem, my dick falls off, and worms crawl out of my skin at all times.
And also, when I stub my toe, it hurts.
It's like, you know, not the same thing. Well, it's like, and their doctrine seems to think that, like, you know, in order to prescribe whatever, like, you need to know all things.
Like, you must download all information into your brain.
And then, by the way, give a prescription that is terrible.
Because, like, in the last thing, it was like, take this.
Okay, when?
I don't know, in the morning.
Okay, how much?
It also, yeah, it took me about half the episode to realize that there were tiny links that were next pages in the thread,
because, you know, shocking news, nobody has diagnosed their forum software
with...
You need to pour some water on the server.
Yeah.
And so, like, I
started looking at the next pages, and
inevitably they were like, okay,
stop taking everything I told you
and take these other things instead.
Jesus.
The science just came in.
All right, you bought that shit?
We'll buy this other shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I think more penis-related than I was expecting,
but still a whole lot of fun.
Yeah, I like that the homeopathy doc was a secret nofap doc.
It was pretty good.
Almost exclusively penis-related.
Well, as Kumquat, I'm sure, experienced the same thing I did.
Going through the forums, it's like 80% serious problems and stuff like,
my mother's brain dead.
How do I make that stop?
And people are just like, oh, sulfur.
is brain dead how do i make that stop and people are just like oh you know sulfur yeah well so this is i think in in the entire history of the podcast this is officially the second forum
that has returned zero results for harry potter oh my god
does that come close up when that happens Do you get disappointed?
Do you get happy?
Well no, I have to drink some expensive water
I just want to make a post on here
My Patronus is only 3 inches
I feel very bad
And worms kind of skin when summoned Patronus
My wife hates how I summon Patronus
100 milligrams of magic.
If we have one that... There's no Harry Potter references.
Doesn't every listener get a free Taco Bell taco?
Yeah.
No, they pulled out their sponsorship for some reason.
I don't know why.
The website, as always, is thethefpl.us.
We have a forum.
And we also have a live show.
It is October 1st and 2nd
in Minneapolis.
You should come. It'll be great.
Anything else?
Apparently not.
Bye!
Fucking nothing.
Sweet ass dead air. Wait, is that just the next one?
I don't know how you guys do this.
Is this the next one in the doc, or did it go in the sky?
Oh, yeah, sky chat.
Edit my ass out.
Okay, yeah.
Oh, you have to double click that?
We'll edit all of you out there.
All right.
Kthor will not be appearing in this.
Want to say anything else?
We'll edit out.
Fuck this guy.
Hold on.
Sorry.
I am still...
But I already printed up the posters.
Your fast-paced...