The F Plus - 224: UGH! F Plus Raps
Episode Date: August 13, 2016It's been too long since our last musical episode, but this one is worth the wait. We gathered together some of The F Plus' greatest hip-hop enthusiasts (and also Boots) to browse the internet's ...finest sources for hip hop lyrics; I'm talking about DeviantArt, WikiHow, Yahoo Answers, and some site from Colombia. The result will make you kill a rainbow. This week, The F Plus lost their minds. Eight times!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I was influenced by a nerdcore a lot.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
If you want to try to make a song out of this, feel free.
Create rap music because I never dug disco.
This is the F Plus Podcast.
Terrible place with terrible things.
They're red with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight, we have Boots Ring gear.
Smack it up, flip it, rub it down.
Oh, no.
Bunny bread?
You could be my princess.
I know which castle is yours.
Nerd shit, y'all.
John Toast?
You ever had a chick who pussy had the odor of holy water?
From I don't even own a television, it's J.W. Friedman.
I crash with the shoddy, smash with the shoddy. call me J. Gotti, get cash with the shoddy.
And lemon.
Bam, pow, headshot, fear the red dot.
Another point, I got you, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Not!
Hey, F-Plus.
Hey.
Hello. Hey, Lemon.
So, J. Bunnybread Boots, John Toast, what is your favorite genre of music?
Gregorian chant.
Like classic Gregorian chants? No, no, no. The new metal version? Gregorian chant. Like classic
Gregorian chants? No, no, no.
The new metal version of Gregorian chant.
The new metal version?
You want to say post-happy hardcore?
Yeah. So medium core.
That's just
Tylenol. That's what post-happy
hardcore is.
The theme from Sonic
Ice Cap Zone? that's it.
I just listened to that on loop.
I like that, but when people rap
over it.
You've heard of my OC remix, I see.
Well,
today we're going to be looking at
two different
interesting documents, one of which was provided by Thursley and the other one provided by Please and Thanks.
And we are going to be looking at rap music from the Internet.
How do you spell that?
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
W-R-A-P, I assume, but that's just a guess.
Yeah, so this is all rap lyrics that we will be presenting.
And I think we should start off with the site that is, of course, known for rap music.
I'm talking about DeviantArt.
You think hip-hop.
All right. DeviantArt. You think hip-hop. Alright, so
this is a document provided by
Thursley, and let me just
present you with the URL so you know
what we're looking at here.
www.deviantart.com
forward slash browse, forward slash all,
forward slash literature,
question mark order equals nine,
Q equals nerdcore.
Good. Good.
Yeah.
Great, right?
Yeah?
You excited?
Yeah, boy.
I'm fucking stoked.
Boots, I think you should start it off.
This is a short one.
This is a short one, but it's succinct.
This one is called Nerdcore Rom N' Jewel.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm less... Lisi2k5.
Are you sure this is a rap and not an Avril Lavigne cover?
That's what I was thinking, too.
Okay.
All right.
He was a Sonic boy.
I, a Mario girl.
Born of rivalry, a controller in hand.
One chased rings, the other coins.
Sega looked at Nintendo.
Nintendo at Sega.
And then they realized the princess was no longer.
In another castle, love in eight boots.
Damn.
Damn.
Excellent.
Wow.
Already with the fire.
Spit it hot.
Beat that, motherfuckers.
I don't speak English, so I'm assuming it's true.
Wait, is this a description for this?
Is this a poem I wrote for my boyfriend, Daniel?
Okay.
That sounds right.
I'm breaking out of my nerdy shell a little bit, too.
Oh, breaking out, yeah.
Yep, nothing nerdy about that.
Oh, shit, there's a nerdy shell out here, too.
All right, all right, all right.
Let's get to some longer piece here.
Jay.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, This poem is called Level Up.
It is by Demir Sol.
And there are parts
that are in bold and parts
that aren't for some reason.
Hang on one second. Let me catch the beat here.
Alright, so my name is Demir Sol.
This is called Level Up.
It's literature, poetry, humor, songs, and lyrics.
Here we go.
You can say so.
It's all of those things.
I'm sitting, sitting home at night, wishing something would just happen, happen, maybe, be in an RPG with a fire-breathing dragon.
Just hoping, praying for a change while i'm playing twilight princess
and oh man would it not be great if something would just hit us knock me out oh take the mundane
away equip this take on that unleash the full attack save world. I wish it all could be me. But they say that's just tough.
Yeah, I wish life would level up.
Level up, level up, level up.
I'd trade my manga for a change to a land due for destruction.
Boom.
The natives there would tell the tale of their savior.
The chosen one.
That's me.
And oh, then in a nod twist of the fate i'd be their sought out hero
i'd kick the butt of the evil king till his hp drained zero he dead uh knock me out take the
mundane away equip this take on that unleash the full attack save the world i wish it all could be
me but they say that's just enough
yeah i wish life would level up and then it says instrumental
oh yeah
the day is saved the land is restored But we're all forgetting one thing.
I may be awesome here and now.
But too bad, it's all a dream.
Oh, well.
Knock me out.
Take the mundane away.
Equip this, take on that.
Unleash the full attack.
Save the world.
I wish it all could be me.
But they say that's just tough.
I wish life would level up.
Level up.
Yeah.
Rap. Rap.
Rap again.
I do want to mention, this song
is for the band
My Otaku Romance.
A link to their MySpace will be provided
in the near future.
They don't have a MySpace yet?
Well, you know, we'll get to that.
In the year 2002.
Oh, God.
I'm like the nerdiest motherfucker on this podcast
right now, and even I'm hitting critical mass.
My otaku romance?
Are you fucking kidding me?
This is really upsetting.
Wait, the genre is otaku rock slash nerdcore?
Oh, all the genres.
All the hot beats.
Well, you'll probably enjoy
this one then, John Toast.
It is a rap song
called Nerdcore.
It's by Mr. Monster.
What's it about?
Well, it's
literature, poetry, emotional, and free verse.
Hmm.
Alright. Free verse means no line breaks. Well, it's literature, poetry, emotional, and free verse. All right.
Free verse means no line breaks.
I put words down.
I don't like to put them in rhythm or nothing.
All right.
Hi, this is nerdcore.
I'm Mr. Monster.
Literature, poetry, emotional, free verse.
Okay.
Right.
Here I am.
I'm a nerd who cares.
Didn't choose this thug life, and it didn't choose me.
I am on no 303.
I'm sitting down playing on my PS3.
Hope to live life.
Yeah.
To fulfill my dreams.
I don't got strength cred, but I'll beat you dead at MTG because I think of myself as an MLG.
I don't worship the lowest of those gangsters.
Ha, they're just fucking pranksters when the bitches see me.
I don't make them go, oh, oh, oh, but I'll play this shit out of my heart.
I chose top.
Oh my god, no, keep going, don't stop.
That's the greatest nerd car rap ever.
I chose Donkey Kong over Bong I See.
These games as a challenger.
Well, challenge accepted, nerd reppin'.
Bring in the street fighter, I'll leave you in the dirt.
Don't know where you've been, but don't fuck with Ken.
She, she, she the okin.
Ah, shit, now your jaw's broken. let's move on to the beat of the song tmt is on i don't care when you speak navi cling on or
namekian speak but i welcome you to play all games with me as a new challenger appears no fair
let's take down with my falcon punch I've been taking down all bunch by punch
when you take me on you get TMF
my guild backs me up
are you sure about that? I think your guild is
oh my god
I too chose
Donkey Kong over bong
I choose Donkey Kong over
bong I see
get me out of the streets
I don't make him go
Oh oh oh but I'll play this shit out of Mario
Oh shit I just noticed it's
OUIT out of Mario
There's a lot of good shit there
You didn't got no street good cred
I was just flowing you know
I ant reppin no 303
I'm looking it up right now
The 303 area code
Is Denver Colorado Oh Reppin' No 303. I'm looking it up right now. The 303 area code is Denver, Colorado.
Oh!
So either that or he does not own a cool 80s Rollins synthesizer.
Yeah, I've seen the synthesizer the whole time.
Yeah.
I ain't reppin' from Denver.
Damn, you know Denver.
Where all the hip-hop come from.
Colorado Springs, what's up?
No, it's a work What's up, work?
I ain't reppin' no 303.
303 is a diagnostic error on HP photocopiers.
That actually makes a lot more sense.
Probably does.
Okay.
Boots for us.
So, my name is Fox Carnage.
Hi, Fox Carnage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fox Carnage is my name.
Well, you've already won the battle.
I've forfeited.
I'm like a furry Satan kind of thing.
I'm glad you're here, because I'm sick of this fucking video game bullshit.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, you don't get any of that shit.
No, no, no, no.
Good.
Thank God.
Yeah, this one's called Dawn Rook Rap.
Even I don't know what that means
Is this chess?
Oh shit no don't worry about it
I'll fucking explain it
Don Rook is in the house
Like a real MG
Flying up on those wizards
Cause I'm a real LG
I kick ass in wizard duels
And I do it looking even better
Repping how Slytherin
In my green and gray sweater.
13 inch cedar wand with a
phoenix feather core. When they catch me
casting spells I get those witches screaming
more. I get all the witches
swooning and you can't deny that
I'm the baddest. I can even
get the wizard stiff with a
petrified total analyst.
That's a dick.
Just because I'm a Slytherin doesn't mean
that I'm evil. It just means I'm in it to
win it and better than most people.
I'm destined for greatness, but I aim
to be the best with my wand in my hand
and a fire in my chest.
And now let's move on to this
wood between my legs. Oh no.
I'm talking about my broomstick.
Let's not get carried away.
I have this wizard swag and
a stack of house points. You can find
me in the common room passing a
joint. Slytherin got this bag.
We were gonna win the house cup
and all the other houses can just
shut the fuck up. Oh, pardon my
parcel tongue, but I got wraps that
can bust a lung. And if you wizards
have a problem, you can step up and get
some. I'm out.
Damn. Goddamn. that can bust a lung, and if you wizards have a problem, you can step up and get some. I'm out! Damn!
God damn.
Pardon my parcel time.
Fuck you,
metronome, I don't need you.
Fox Carnage, I think you should give us a
rundown. I really want to know the backstory
of that. Yeah, this was a random
rap I wrote for my Harry Potter
OC, Dawn Rook oc dawn rook based off my
potter more character dawn rook 20417 slytherin for life right right okay good i could have guessed
that but i just wanted i didn't know your patronus was slick i have a response to that oh what this
is too beautiful slytherin for life yo look i get why like in the poetry like you know people probably just bang it like in
the poetry episodes people just bang out poetry and like fuck it i wrote poetry bye yeah like in
this like how can you not make lines scan if it's wrapped how can you not read this and be like
dread wrap this be like oh this line's way too long no it's fine i i some people have a really
flexible concept of rhythm. It's amazing.
Maybe they don't have a metronome.
That's a very common thing we find with poetry in this,
is that usually by the fifth line,
your stanzas are twice as long as the ones in the beginning.
They just got so much shit to say.
Yeah.
Well, the next rap song that we have here is for mature audiences only.
So you're going to get an age verification when you go to this page.
So who's the best here at Stutter Rap?
It's Boots Rangier.
It's Boots Rangier.
It sure is.
I don't even know what Stutter Rap is, but I'm the best.
All right.
Well, then, Boots, your name is T-Mills.
Oh.
This song is called
Period Style, Period Talent, Period Love,
Period. Yeah, this is Period Style,
Period Talent, Period Love,
Period. Oh man, there's a
picture of you. You definitely are a Nerdcore
rapper. Get ready to drop
some M-bombs, too.
Fucker. Yeah.
I don't play sports, but I'm
still winning the game. No one knows me,
but I still got the...
Y'all niggas better than me.
I still call them lame. Y'all say the shit
sucks. I feel no...
I'll send you. Fuck, I'll
take the blame. Load up your guns.
It's time to take... Oh, God! We're coming to your domain. If I kill you. Fuck, I'll take the blame. Load up your guns. It's time to take a aim.
Watch your fucker.
We're coming to your domain.
If I kill you, no one will forget my aim.
I ain't got style.
I agree.
Okay, so we're done?
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
I ain't got no style.
I ain't got no talent.
I ain't got no love.
I am from beyond.
I'm going to make you yawn.
Both promised indeed, sir.
Pardon?
Anyway, here comes more lyrics.
I want to fit in
so I wear your designer clothes.
I see a camera so I have to
strike a p-o-o's. I don't think I'm
high. I don't sniff the rose.
I write some lyrics. Then I come p-o-o-o's. Just quick question. What you think of my flows? I don't sniff the rose I write some lyrics Then I compose Just quick question
What you think of my flows
I don't have any fans
No girl wants me
I call y'all hoes
You ain't got to tell me
I know my talent
I ain't got style
Check out my lame ass haircut
Look at my clothes
I just b-od
I ain't got no talent
Can't you tell from the song what I keep doing?
Ra-a-a-a-a-am.
I ain't got no love.
Sometimes I wonder why that it makes me want to cr-cr-cr-eye.
That doesn't work.
Unlike the rest of it.
I ain't got no style.
I ain't got no talent.
I ain't got no love. I am got no talent I ain't got no love
I am from the beyond
Gonna make you yawn
Yeah well it's
Definitely over
You guys wanna hear some more of this
That's cool you must be done at this point
No I don't play sports but I'm winning the game
No one knows me but I still got the
Aim y'all niggies better
Jesus
No no no it's fine It's fine he said niggies Nothing wrong with that But I still got the f-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a The blame? Load up your guns. It's time to take aim. Watch out. Fuck out.
You come.
If I kill you, no one will forget my aim.
All right.
So Boots.
Awesome.
Everything about that was perfect.
Just everything.
Oh, thanks.
With the exception of he actually did the same bars twice.
I don't pay sports.
Not play sports.
Pay sports.
Oh, yeah.
You're right.
I don't pay sports.
Oh, yeah.
I don't.
He said twice, dear. I don't pay sports. He doesn't pay for sports. Pay sports. Oh, yeah, you're right. I don't pay sports. Oh, yeah. I don't. Twice, dear.
I don't pay sports.
He doesn't pay for sports.
Nope.
Okay.
All right.
So, Bunny Bread.
Yes.
I know that you had some opinions on Boots' handling.
On hip and or hop?
Well, of the hipping and the hopping, but more specifically how Boots handled that.
I said it was perfect.
That T-Mills song.
So that's fine.
That's fine.
You can correct his errors right now
because I'm going to give you a choice
of two different T-Mills songs.
The famous T-Mills?
And you get to do one of them.
Oh my.
Would you like to do the T-Mills hit
Split-Personality
or would you like to do the T-Mills hit
Lost Mind? Which one has more cutesy racial slurs in it? hit split hyphen personality or would you like to do the T-Mills hit lost mind?
Which one has more cutesy racial
slurs in it? They're both equally
offensive. Oh, well then.
The second one. I see pussy, crack,
black, whack. What?
The second one. Alright. Then
lost mind it is.
So here you go.
You're T-Mills and
you suck. Oh, you're right-Mills, and you suck.
Oh, you're right.
You suck.
Boots, on the other hand.
I believe Juggalo Jake is in order.
Yeah, this is fucking Juggalo shit.
Oh, yay.
North Mind.
Yeah.
Literature. Poetry. Hum mind. Yeah. Literature.
Poetry.
Humor.
All the love.
I've lost my mind.
Have you seen it?
I think all I said when I was talking to Jesus.
He told me to go to the mall and pull out my penis.
When I do little kids, I say, have you seen this?
Shit in your hot dog roll and make you eat it.
Wait, no, no, no. Shit in your hot dog roll and make you eat it wait no no no
shit in your hot dog roll
and make you eat it
eat it
why did you interrupt perfection
jump in your pool
just don't take a piss
I'm so gay sir
I slid your mic towards
then I blame it
all up on Mike Miles
y'all never fin out
that we're lies
did Mr. Miller just say
we
or the voices that I say me?
Okay.
I go up to Christians.
I take it back.
I take it back.
Flip mode is not the greatest.
Flip mode is the squad, y'all.
Flip mode is this way.
I go up to Christians.
I go up to Christians.
They yell obscenities.
I like to see them cry like little babies.
They yell that freak like they got the rabies.
I go to gay bars and get in a fight-sees.
I go to lesbian bars and hit on dykes-ees.
I chill at the park to go steal kids' kites-ees.
I drink at the Bill Gates home to steal megabytes.
I drive at night without turning on my headlights.
I lost my mind eight times. Have you seen it? Oh, God. I drive at night without turning on my headlights.
I've lost my mind.
Eight times.
Have you seen it?
I left it with Jesus.
Four times.
Four times.
That's four Jesuses.
Ludacris said, he's so evil.
He goes on blind dates with actual blind people.
But, Travi, it's so crazy.
I sleep in a bed with an actual dead baby.
Oh my God.
Jesus.
You're twisted, man.
Down with the fucking clowns.
Y'all say I need to shut up
before I get so shut up.
So I tell you to eat my cock up.
Y'all can shut the fuck up.
Check out my superpower.
I can take a piss in the shower.
Take a shit right off the Eiffel Tower.
And dance in traffic to a broad shower.
I lost my mind eight times.
Have you seen it?
Eight more fucking times.
Jesus has it.
That's several Jesuses.
We're more underground than your septic tank.
My rhymes smell worse than septic rank.
It'll make you convulse like a
epileptic frank. Yeah, it's true.
I ain't got no money in the bank.
I jump on the back of a BMX.
The writer's trying to flee a T-Rex.
Dude, get off my damn
bike and take
a fucking hike.
Before I be too with us
to bike. What about the giant lizard, Mike?
Dude, what the fuck?
You high?
No, man.
I just lost my fucking mind.
I lost my mind eight times.
Eight times!
Have you seen it?
Eight fucking times!
Hell yeah.
Oh, man.
I didn't like him, but I loved his hype man eight times.
The thing about that is I lost my mind times 8
but like I lost my mind 8 times
is a way better line
yeah no totally
you're welcome
you fixed the song
oh and then there's a response
to this
sometimes we just lose our minds and dots and dots and dots.
Yeah, there we go.
And apparently the group is called Kittens on Fire.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But there's a lot of groups called Kittens on Fire.
That's true.
Yeah, the Beatles went through several names before they settled on the Beatles.
You know, I realize this guy's made me realize something.
Self-deprecating comedy only really works if you establish
yourself as funny or interesting beforehand.
Because if you just come out
and the first thing you say is, I suck!
And then all this shit. I suck! I fucked a baby!
Ha ha ha!
Y'all gonna buy my CD?
Yeah, I agree. Go away. I'm bad at rapping and my dick
is small.
You're right. See ya. I'm bad at rapping and my dick is small. You're right.
I'm the fat Jew.
Why'd you have to bring this down, Lemon?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Okay.
All right.
John Toast is going to give you a choice.
These are both
farts. going to give you a choice. These are both art.
Now I'm interested
from that reaction.
Both of these. Here we go.
Track number one is called
Song Colon Headshot by
Photoshop Freak.
Door number two? Door number two is Lab Coat Scientist Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Door number two?
Door number two is Labcoat Scientist Wanted by Bushido Hacks.
This is hardly a choice.
I got to go with the Labcoat Scientist Wanted, whatever.
Labcoat Scientist Wanted by Bushido Hacks.
All right.
This, again, literature, poetry. This one has the sociopolitical tag.
That's fun.
And you need a lab coat scientist, right?
I do.
All right.
Let me.
All right.
This is Lab Coat Scientist Wanted by Bushido Hacks.
Literature, poetry, sociopolitical, and free verse.
Oh, no.
Lab Coat Scientist Wanted. Oh, no. Ew!
Nice!
Oh, boy.
What? What? out there saying, drill, baby, drill. While BP keeps hiring some street preacher to fill while BP continues to kill.
Ecosystems dying and drowning.
Choking and soaking.
Tar balls just like taffy.
BP, we're not happy.
Wow.
Zach De La Roca bringing it tonight.
Where are the guys who look like
Freeman Gordon
Who aren't having lunch with the king of Jordan
Who have an army on folks on call
Not lizards who manipulate the laws
Since when does a JD outrank a PhD
Where's the guy who stayed up late studying chemistry?
The physics majors with crowbars down the
hall looking to bash in
ignorant skulls.
In a room full of
ideas that aren't working.
BP lawyers in clown suits
and jerking.
It sucks that I have to use such
language, but the world doesn't
need another Anchorage. I want to use such language, but the world doesn't need another Anchorage.
Yeah, it's a shitty fallout reference.
I want to see the lab coat scientists.
Fix the oil problem BP seems to miss.
Hire some noobs with something to proof.
How many people with Asperger's are in the room?
None?
You got to be kidding.
We're the scientists.
Oh, my God.
Those motherfuckers were lying.
They were getting you pissed, I heard.
Where'd you get your diploma? In a box of cereal?
I don't believe anybody
working for BP is for real.
Actually trying to solve this disaster
while the lawyers get plastered.
It's okay.
It's like eating motor oil with your hush puppies.
Keep dicking around, you
trust fund yuppies.
I'll pay $10 for shrimp for Lent, asking myself where all my gas money went.
Congressman, did you get the check I sent?
What kind of rap is this?
I can't follow this.
It changes every line.
We changed it.
It's like 7-4 time for this one.
It smells so toxic. I'm nauseous.
I'm trying not to puke while
I eat my 30-way coffee.
When the petroleum
lawyer decides what street corner
to put his brand new corner
office. Oh my god!
This is so hot.
It makes me sick that I'll never
see clean water and clear water.
Gator and Gumbo in a life-filled bayou with everything dies because nobody studied bio.
I don't know what's happening.
You're a Scientologist, aren't you?
I don't know what's...
But my religion doesn't believe we come from apes, yet condemn the scientist when the preacher rapes.
Oh, I touched on religion.
Now you're upset. Better get out the scientist when the preacher rapes. Oh, I touched on religion. Now you're upset.
Better get out the scientist apology kit.
Seriously?
That exists?
Oh, fuck.
Now we are screwed.
This is probably as bad as alligators covered in crude.
Who got to be kidding me?
Ignorance prevails?
The oil industry is too big to fail?
I put $50 of gas in the car this morning. Surely
you're all broken and running.
No, that's Sudley.
Sudley, I'm sorry. Sudley,
you're all broken
and running to get people signed
waivers. Fuck your liability ass
saver.
What the hell is BP doing?
I don't think I can hear you.
Oh, wait, does Kane come from out?
Oh my god, it goes on you. Oh, where'd this cane come from? Oh, this has to be the one.
Oh my god, it goes on forever.
No, no, no, no.
We gotta... No, what are you doing?
It has to keep going.
Yeah, I'm back now.
What the hell is BP doing?
This ain't cleaning up.
Cover it in hay and dispersants, then light the fucker up.
I don't think so.
Get a mop or a broom.
Build a giant shop vacuum
Before you seal in
Fire metal doom
Up
We are going to prevent
The disaster
Not be slashed
To the oil master
Not let
Animal wind pipes
Clog or have the media
Appeal to all birds
Covered in sludge
What
Up
No no no
No
It's important
We keep going
Sorry
I got all excited
To drop what they're doing.
Because the oil continues to...
Boots, he's suffered enough.
We've suffered enough.
...the bottom and top.
Give me Gordon Freeman to clean this mess up.
Give me Gordon Freeman.
I want to see the lab coat scientist
fix some oil problem.
BPC to this.
I'm out.
Holy shit, Machino Hacks.
I could feel that.
That shit's going platinum.
Read the fourth short paragraph.
The metronome did shit for me there.
There is a lot of
ang-ware in this piece.
Ang-ware.
In this piece.
At one point he says Hulk smash.
Most notably with the lack of
intelligence.
Well, though, ideas.
Well, though, ideas.
30-weight oil shrimp
basket with hushpupp...
What is this about big shrimp? What's the deal?
Three-way?
Jay?
Somebody from Clearwater wrote a rap.
Well, they can't all be an emo band.
That's true.
But, like, I mean, it wasn't ever good,
but at first I was like, okay, it's got, like, this weird...
Okay, it's, like, it's kind of a rap.
Like, it's a thing I can do a shitty, like, nerd rap thing to.
And then it just...
All right, now it's different in different lines now,
different scanning.
It's just like, oh, fuck.
Our balls just like taffy.
BP, we're not happy. Yeah, you know. Perfect. These lines now, different scanning. It's just like, oh, fuck. Carballs just like taffy. BP, we're not happy.
Yeah, you know.
Perfect.
These words rhyme, thus rap.
All right, Jay.
You get to make a choice yourself.
Oh, boy.
All right.
Option number one.
Dear Geeks Space Pipe Space, an open parentheses rhyming close parentheses letter
by Jack DeWitt
4.
Your other rap
is cosplaying myself.
Oh, that one for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is this to the beat of Mac Dre's
feeling myself?
I hope.
Am I in the building and cosplaying myself?
I think I was imagining gang of
fours i parade myself but that works too i was like i think i was thinking gg ellens i want to
fuck myself but okay i was thinking divinals i want to touch myself i was thinking of return
of the mac but that doesn't have anything to do with anything i was just thinking of titties
yeah i do yes i do uh yeah this is by sunshine hyphen dis disco dog sunshine disco dogma all
right yeah sunshine disco dogma in the house yeah one two here we go cosplaying myself it's how we
do it how we do i open my heart to the world only to feel it be impaled upon a giant 10 foot stick
open myself to the world only to to walk alone for a bit.
But I know, I know that this is only a moment.
A singularity I have to escape.
If I can find a break from the darkness to arise into my place.
Wow.
If only I could remove this mask that I built up for myself.
Let people know the me that I know and see.
I get stuck cosplaying myself.
I get stuck cosplaying myself i get stuck cosplaying myself
what what like go go godzilla in this monster apocalypse over myself a shadow eclipses i feel
drawn to it like mothra to a giant bug zapper zap zap boom in an instance i am back to scrapper
my city crumbles at my mask a realization that it took me years to grasp this cognitive view
of who i am verse who i should be alien verse versus Cthulhu versus Kaiju-C.
But.
What the fuck?
This is the worst.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But.
But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But monsters attack. I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself.
I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself.
What's this new track by Nerdy Fiasco?
Self, self, self, self.
Now I'm staring down my monsters like my Yo-Jo to my Mask Megatron.
My thoughts ping off it like BBs against the broad side of the barn.
And I can see these.
A demon that i created and now
i can't defeat see like my own personal legion that is out to get me but i want to be me i want
it finally and i know who that exposed it to be so help me defeat this mask and let me be doing
something other than cosplaying me i don't want to fight it anymore finding myself exhausted for it
more than before more than before my More than before. My giant monster.
The mask I wear.
I don't even think it cares.
It's grasping for survival just as I would, but I'd destroy it myself.
Only if I could.
I want the world to see the me that I am proud to be.
But first I gotta fend off what I originally wanted it to see.
So help me become myself before I become the music again
Tearing down, tearing down my city
Help me fight myself
Because I am becoming the mask again
Tearing down, tearing down my perception
With giant, giant monsters
I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself
I said I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself
I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself
I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself. I feel like I stuck cosplaying myself.
Flip mode is the illest.
The squid-on.
Rock on Minneapolis.
Rock on Michigan.
Jace potato chips.
You can't eat just one.
Oh, man.
When giant monsters attack, I feel like I stuck cosplaying myself.
Wow.
That was...
That was amazing.
That was a lot of syllable stuffing there.
Yeah.
I tried.
It's like fucking professional stuffing syllables into a beat.
When you're Sunshine Disco Dogma,
you got a lot of practice under your belt.
I've been part of the
Nerdcore battle scene since the live journal days.
All I could think when you're doing it,
it's like kick,
kick,
slide into it.
Oh,
um,
so it's sunshine disco dogma.
You had a little bit to say about yourself.
Uh,
it basically is what it basically is.
What?
Um, well, it basically is, I have become more and more happy with the me that is me,
and I want the world to see this me, but I'm stuck in the mask that was me, see?
Well, anyways, I just imagined this giant monster on writer's struggle in my mind,
the Henshin hero, no bigger than a man, taking on a giant monster.
And that is the origins to the song.
Hey, my name's Randy Raven.
Hey, Randy Raven.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I'm going to bring it.
Good.
I mean...
Randy Raven, you sound dark.
Are you going to give us something light and fun?
No.
Now the rap flavor is future, apparently.
No, dog.
No, dog.
No.
When you've gone through the shit that i've seen
when you've when you've experienced the death of wcw
it's none other than shane mcmahon respect that's why my rap is called nerdcore dark core
yeah yeah pouring out a little bit of my juice box right now
respect all right here we go.
Squeeze it up my capri sun.
Reality just isn't my friend.
With the heartache I rate, I take, I pretend to be a man with intellect and tact.
Poking jabs in reality's face just like that.
It's uneasy for you to seem, for you, it's uneasy you see for me to seem free.
From the hustle and bustle this cognitive
view when i see her of my face online my heart drops because a large mind just isn't what she
wants terrorize my brain with emotions and turn it detaches my heart with the potions ensuring
my time will come quicker than sooner while stirring it's insane you know the way our
pheromones work perhaps it's on her beauty or persona or her smirk.
But when I can't get away from bitter sustain,
when I realize I can't get her out of my brain,
here's a line break.
Uh, uh.
Yeah, line break.
What?
What?
That line is broken.
More so than ever when I read her written letter,
I know it could be better if she felt the same
My delusional fantasies come to life before me
Every night after work
I play my games
Construct a new life as I fire a fusk
Photoshop is a tool to release the nuts
I'm sampling that for a real song
Yeah
On to the web where the
lonely losers greet. Shoop up, girls.
They know they will never meet. Control
J, Shift L, mess with those
frequencies just to see if maybe there
is nothing underneath. Perversions
grow quick from 11 to 60.
All in between, mind delusions
get nasty. But you sit, you
fantasize away, you know. She's
out there with another guy getting laid you
know maybe it's time to give up on the games maybe it's time to let her out of my brain here's a line
break yeah i didn't know the perversion scale went from 11 to 60.
it's interesting turn up
stabbing at my chest as a seer i am what's wrong brb sad face big grin it's not like i'm some
fucking kid who gets away with bawling oh i would go toe-to-toe with steven hawking in a game of
lolling the game of lying the game of lying yeah puppies that's that's the game that we play
the universal machine time code delivering a message to me in those years in between
when I spent my time making quake corridors, cracking past and finding sites with hidden back doors,
chewing on the 56K as much as I could, delete the download, double files ain't good.
I tell that kid to get up, go out, just scream, just shout
just to beam the ray you know you
have to show the light that you
have all because you
too are afraid to let
no bastard through your chest.
The ladies are objects
in which wishing will invest
and sitting on your PC
won't grow your fame while all
those ladies fester inside your brain.
Another line break. I love how you passed
the Fred Schneider threshold there for a
moment.
No, pass through your chest.
Stabbing at my chest as
I see here I am.
This song sucks.
But it wasn't a nerd.
It was a nerd dark core.
Nerd dark core.
Nerd dark core.
So all of our all of our hipping and hopping here was was done courtesy of DeviantArt in the nerd core category.
Because, of course, it was.
Because, of course course it was. Because of course it was.
So we are actually going to move away from there and into another document right here.
Because there's other places on the internet for rap.
Okay, obviously, yes, DeviantArt, DeviantArt, great place for rap.
Wonderful place for rap.
There are other places that you can go for rap, such as WikiHow.
And the comments section of every YouTube video ever.
Well, funny you mention that, because this is actually not from WikiHow itself.
But this is from the discussion page of WikiHow to write rap lyrics.
Oh, nice.
Awesome.
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Awesome. Oh.
Oh.
This is good.
I'm excited.
Oh, God.
All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, Bunny Bread,
these are all anonymous.
So, you are the IP that starts with 72.39.
And you wanted to offer your own rap lyrics in the comment section to
WikiHouse how to write rap lyrics.
Four octets, what's up?
God, it's going to be, okay, I got to get hardcore.
Yeah, yeah, you got it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I ain't making this rap for MTV
I'm making it out for me
So don't you see
If I happen to ever be famous
My lyrics will be so contagious
So contagious
I'm only 14 but my lyrics happen to be db best i did a best
scene oh shit well i'm white big shock but it ain't no super steric it i it ain't no supersteric. It's supersterous. Su-su-studio.
So you better hear it.
Cause this stage, I'm a terret.
And I was born in Toronto, Ontario.
Representing Putin.
It were I had grow.
Then I had to go to Georgetown.
It's word this beat be going down it ain't get who but it goes to show
that i can pay play d rapping game didn't do it for fame so don't new see maybe i'll be on MTV. Eventually.
Yeah.
Indis rap helps essentially.
Essentially.
Oh, boy. Essentially.
Oh, man.
Yeah, get off the stage, motherfucker.
Oh, oh.
Yeah.
Shit.
Is there someone whiter than me?
I'm an IP address that starts with 24.
Wait, are we now moving over to the discussion of
WikiHowToSurviveAFreestyleRapBattle?
Uh-oh.
How do you survive a freestyle rap battle?
Yo, dudes, I'm 13 and a half.
This title's made me a better freestyler than I am.
So if you want some tin to prove here it is,
you'll fool like this.
I'm having a little hard time finding my own rhythm here.
Fuck wheat wraps.
It did like my chopped dicks hit you with my little ass dick.
Oh, that little ass dick.
Come on, don't worry.
You'll get that.
That's vestigial.
Got a little, got a little, got a little ass dick.
Yellow water.
Don't want no short ass dick
Don't want, don't want, don't want
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
Yellow water
See me go eat jello
Never seen someone like you before
I can kick you harder
Than you can kick me, I'll kick you
While I hate Kegelher in a tree
Damn
Who wants a taste of my whole
long tea ho ha
ho ha he
oh god
every Asian name
the phone ends with chin
no it doesn't
wait wait I want to see my wang
read lips it's not for sale
you look pale like some paper
I'm a reaper bitch what's up that's
all call me quick kid nah nah nah nah i will not nah nah all right man let me bust a little
something yeah okay so let me break you off like a kit kat bar i'm at the finish line chilling you
can't get that far i'm typing as'm thinking, guess it's a digital freestyle.
No time to pause, man.
I'm ripping it me style.
When it comes to gear, well, it's nothing fair, actually.
I got more lids than a Ziploc Tupperware factory.
When I'm walking by, you might hear chicks say, look, because I got nicer steaks than Michael Vick's playbook.
And that's like my weakest shit.
Damn.
Michael Vick's playbook is your weakest shit. Y'all step aside. Sup, people? I'm 13 and people, y my weakest shit. Damn. Michael Vick's playing book is your weakest shit.
Y'all step aside.
Sup people, I'm 13 and people, y'all suck.
I'm the rap master here. A quick example.
I am the rap master.
I'll put your body in plaster.
To you, I'm a disaster. I like everything
that has happened. When I'm finished, y'all will be
clapping. That's all I gotta say because I can't get
laid. Even then, I then pay.
They refuse. Cause you're on the booze, Lala Rock.
Dope.
He did.
He did. And the winner of the
2016 Rap Olympics.
Yeah.
That was a
rap battle that spanned years.
It went from
2005 to 2006.
Oh, great.
Jesus Christ.
Hang on, man.
Rome wasn't fucked in a day.
Hang on, man.
All right.
So that, wikiHow, obviously, great place for rap.
Great place for rap.
Perhaps a better place for rap would be Yahoo Answers.
Oh, shit.
Really? Yeah. Yay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. rap would be um uh yahoo answers oh shit really yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so uh so bunny
bread your name is joppy damn right my name is yeah yeah yeah but uh uh i'm i'm uh i'm a i'm a
scene stir in the in the yahoo answers community how often should i have rap battles with my
girlfriend you all know who this is. I'm looking for
someone to write one of those
cool, funky, funky freestyle
rap things that kids are always
into these days.
I need you.
Yeah, I need you to write it about
a cougar. Older women
who seek younger men. Please, not the
animal. Whoever writes the best one
will get 10 points!
And their freestyle will be posted on my cougar website.
Please help me out.
If somebody came up to me and said...
Tags trending now.
Bette Midler, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry.
If I was talking to someone and they said I had a cougar website,
the next thing I would do would be dial 911.
Because, no, that's not a...
All right, Bunny Bread, you got a cougar rap for me?
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
My name is Kath.
I want to tutor you in math.
Boy, how old you
be? Is you
young enough to be with
me? I
drive a minivan.
I looking for
a sexy young man.
I want to teach
you the ropes.
My booty be
needing some gross
damn
can you cite a source
for that rap please
I met Kath once and found her
to be very inspiring
jumpy
it was nice to hear Lemon's
Twilight Sparkle voice do a rap
This is
One more rap
From Yahoo Answers
And
Oh god
It starts out with the text
This is not a rap battle
Which makes me want to sing this entire thing like this is not a love song.
That's what I was just thinking.
This is not a rap battle!
I'm not even a rapper.
Nothing unpleasant about this.
Nothing at all unpleasant about this.
I'm glad this is happening.
Okay, here we go.
Alright, it's time to confess.
I'm a total mess.
I admit, my words haven't been the best.
But now it's time for the test.
I'm still white, none more or less.
I'm not gonna make it unless I stand up and finally get dressed.
It's time to get off this bus.
I have to start rapping.
No, excuse. I must. It has to be done. It's time to get off this bus. I have to start rapping. No, excuse.
I must.
It has to be done. It must.
Because it sounds like rust.
Parents like my music
because I don't
cuss. Don't cuss that much.
Well, fuck, fuck, fuck.
I just fucking cuss.
Now I bet
I'm torturous.
Yeah, just now.
Well, you can't sue me. You can't
because I ain't getting off this bus.
That's how lawsuits work.
Rate from 1 to 10.
Trending now, Harvey Milk.
Everybody knows that if you're getting sued,
if you run on a bus and yell sanctuary,
they can't sue you. It's the law.
Only on the oxen free.
The subpoenas just burst into flames the moment
they cross the threshold.
One of the responses is,
I would give it a four, and then he gives us an email
address to coach him.
I want to be a professional rap coach.
That's my new job.
His email address is
Ghostwriter Confidential.
He's a social worker. He's not a rap coach.
This guy needs help.
It's like a guitar teacher that you pay $20 and some guy comes over to your house to teach your kid how to rap.
Hey, what's up?
What is this, the Mickey of rap?
It's like, you could have been somebody.
Come on, kid.
Just use more homophobic slurs.
You're going to let Asians get away with that shit?
All right.
So that was
Yahoo Answers. We're going to move away
from there. We're going to be moving on
to
another site. This one I'm not familiar
with. It's called Songbay.
Songbay.co
It looks like it's a lovely place for
people to post their own lyrics i don't know if it's rap specific i think it might be just all
sorts of different lyrics so wait is it bay like the body of water or bay like no it's it's ebay
for but for songs oh okay all right uh so uh i think we I think we want to start this off with Jay, and this rap song is called Peppers,
comma, Jalapeno No Salt.
Okay.
It's by Charles Allen, also known as Little Charles Allen.
Oh, Little Charles Allen.
They call me that because I'm small.
Also, your name is Charles Allen.
That helps.
Oh, man. Okay. Okay. Also, your name is Charles Allen. That helps. Oh, man.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Wait, wait.
Can I get a description of you, please?
Yeah.
So my description is I'm just a man who loves to watch sex videos,
watch Stripper, and love nymphs.
Similar to that I'm in love with the cocoa.
Oh, this actually might be iced tea then.
My mood is aggressive,
confident, flowing, and happy.
Style, desire.
Language, English.
I'm loving the ho-ho.
I'm loving the strippos. I'm loving
sex videos. I'm loving the nymphos.
I'm loving them ho-hos like sweet
potatoes. I'm loving them strippos.
Least no HMO. I'm loving them sex videos. Ain't no less'm loving them strippos Least no HMO
I'm loving them sex videos
Ain't no less though
Loving them lymphos
Nim nim no limp limp
Nim nim no limp limp
That's the real man
The real Joe
Put a little cream
On that scream
Wrap around my D-ling
Sapping that pretty thing
Only fifth for my queen
Now you sweet potatoes ho-ho If you taking the dinero Give me a little blow Give me a little blow What? glass see how i'm bad i'm tearing that ass i'm bad mf don't need no help now i keep me belt next step
go all day bring that pussy and stay dude like me don't play mayday mayday mayday mayday mayday
my day my day my day my day ain't no help is like when i see you loving this chocolate delight
crispy cream what this nigga bring oh man repeat hook you couldn't you couldn't dodge that one
couldn't i tried i was trying to change them to dudes but okay repeat hook here we go
i'll part that wave when you don't shave but if you want this n-word to graze better make sure
that ass is bathed but best when i get you laid. Just like looking at the strippers. They don't get no blow.
A few dollars, you know.
El cheapo, no, no.
Just on the right track with the dough.
I make the bread.
Trying to keep away from the fed.
Taxes.
Taxes trying to keep up in the red.
Giving pennies till you're dead.
Them colorless, all right.
But I like some bite, bite.
Like that physical fight.
Like that brown, red, black spice.
No rice, no ice.
Pepper, no salt.
Pepper, no salt.
Salt, no good on the wood.
Jalapeno.
That's the way this nigga go.
Skin tough, cause I play rough.
Jalapeno.
What the fuck?
Jalapeno.
I just love what you said when you tried to later edit it.
But if you want this
to grab,
it's like it was
dubbed in after the fact.
I mean,
it makes me really
uncomfortable to rap
and use that word.
I can't help it.
I understand.
You can purchase this song
for three pounds.
Oh, well.
Oh, multi-use license.
You're a little Charles Allen.
You're a little Charles Allen.
That rap is great.
I'm also a little Charles Allen.
Oh, okay. You're going to have a little Charles Allen. Lil Charles Allen. That rap is great. I'm also Lil Charles Allen. Oh, okay.
Yeah, and this song is called Make Me Work with 7Ks.
You make me work.
That's like soulmate.
And here's a description of me, which is different than the description of me that we got before when Jay was me.
Right, right, right.
This is one of my best songs. Actually,
you can get two songs out of this one song.
Oh, shit. Part one and two.
Fill with rhyming words and alliterations
and some words I create. You have
to listen to the song on www.jango.com
slash music slash little Charles Allen.
This song would be a hit
song by the right artist. This is
a million dollar song. It's just I ain't
the right artist, you know. My song. This could be. This is a million dollar song. It's just I ain't the right artist, you know.
This could be two songs if you write another song.
This is making me work with 7Ks.
Alright, here's how it starts.
Hook!
Hook.
You must watch the entirety of Hook.
It's the entirety of Hook.
Watch me do it.
My TV show, my video.
Mucho gusto,
no physio.
Perplezio
from my girlio.
Make a dread...
I don't think
this guy speaks Spanish.
Make a dread strip
drop in her perlio.
I'd rather tick,
tock, tock.
No cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
Okay, he speaks Spanish.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You've got a definite
Missy Elliott vibe to you.
I think it's really good.
A verse one.
Go and slam-bam the honey ham. Shake a good. Verse one. Go and slam bam the honey ham.
Shake a bake a chocolate cake.
Filet mignon the kitty lawn.
Take a sip with the big lip of the honey dip.
After sipping, ripping that little pithole.
I heave ho mucho the juicy yo.
Time to slurp clean the sweet mist crevice.
Go on. You know know we're making fun this is prom night here come on we're making fun but this is this isn't that different from young thug i'm just throwing that out yeah
oh yeah like young thug could have written this shit
the girl hot steamy ready will party pop peel the back the pussy
The sweat smelling nookie
Oh ooh ooh
With joy jubilation like a winning bookie
The girl rises over all over
Spreading her thick thighs
I glide slipping sliding
On her sweet smelling surprise
I hear the moaning groaning
On
Girl almost ready to blow her top a sweet-smelling surprise. I hear the moaning, groaning on.
Girl almost ready to blow her tub. Getting me heated
until I was too hot.
Need more than a sip.
Need to take that old man dip.
Repeat
hook! No.
Alright, well, I just watched it, but I guess
I'll watch it again. Watch me do it,
watch me do it, my TV show, my video.
Mucho gusto.
Pussy.
Pussy.
Pussy.
Pussy.
Oh, pussy.
Going to clean wax whip that oozing crack.
After I flip-flop her on her back, music had a flip-flop sound.
Flippity-floppity. What a flip-flop sound.
No loony-toony last in love.
We had a loony-toony sound here, too. Just pure primo pleasure by the pint.
Plus impaling, inhaling the treasure.
Tick-tock, toasting, roasting that gorgeous clock.
No dancing dilly-dally in the park.
Doing it on the couch, on the tabletop, light or dark.
Just jamming, slam slamming cramming that
hairy creamy fuzzy wuzzy peach until i get a spark no cha cha cha no cha cha cha
third verse all of a sudden oh no we just watched hook again
oh uh okay i'm really getting tired of it now. What? Rufio.
How dare you?
You call yourself an American?
Going around the clock, sapping, stealing all her energy.
Just the beginning of my sensitivity, its entirety.
Where she lay limp lane.
Twice already on the came.
The process of pleasing, pampering that brown cookie begins anew,
begins anew,
on that tired, tattle-rattle
tender, enjoyable, edible
nookie. You'll notice that all the AV techs are turning
off all the lights.
Your microphone doesn't have any more
power in it.
That's okay.
My rhymes are so hot I don't need a fucking mic
stop the beat dunk in that donut hole with a delicious tight delight delicacy
caressing teasing toasting with intimacy waking up for the third time blowing her away until she's
almost blind but it's just sleep that crosses her mind. Tire all the wonderful sensation of my
stimulation and workulation.
No cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
No cha-cha-cha.
No cha-cha-cha.
Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Million dollar song, motherfucker.
Yeah, yeah.
This is a million dollar song.
With the right artist.
That was agony.
No, no.
What if I had 5,000 pounds?
No, that's a separate sentence.
This song would be a hit song by the right artist, period.
This is a million dollar song.
Oh, damn.
Regardless of artist.
Okay, he called it.
He called it. All right, so Bunny Bread, your name's Rick Campos.
You're also on the song bay.
And would you give me a description of your song, Air in My Lungs?
Give me a description of it, please.
This is a good song.
They can make you very famous if you perform it well.
You know, not like I'm going to do.
Okay.
And what are the genres of your rap?
Well, you know, it's the hip-hop slash rap, general hip-hop and the general raps.
General rap?
No colonel raps here.
No major raps.
No.
Fuck no.
And what moods does your rap have?
Well, calm, childlike, cool.
Easy.
Childlike. All right. Excellent. All right. Yeah, take it away whenever you're ready. Easy. Childlike.
All right.
Excellent.
All right.
Yeah, take it away whenever you're ready.
I'm a dog, y'all.
I'm a god, y'all.
Spare that rod, y'all.
And a nod, y'all.
Because I'm right, y'all.
Out of sight, y'all.
Live like, y'all.
A little tight, y'all.
Are you surprised, y'all?
Are you surprised, y'all? That I turned out all right, y'all? Child of the night, y'all. Up to four, y'all. Goody Mom! Are you surprised, y'all, that I turned out all right, y'all?
Child of the night, y'all.
Up to four, y'all.
Write some more, y'all.
So I can, shit, scroll down some more, y'all.
This is the best Goody Mom check.
Money galore, y'all.
Crystal medicine, y'all.
Ice cold weapon, y'all.
That used cold fusion, y'all.
Was thought to be an illusion, y'all. I like the sun
The apocalypse has begun
So hide and run
Cause it won't be fun
Burn like the air in my lungs
Burn like the air in my lungs
Burn like the air in my lungs
Burn like the air in my lungs
Burn like the air in his lungs
Kill a rainbow y'all
It'll make the pain go y'all. It'll make the pain go, y'all.
I'm unstoppable.
Like the U.S., y'all.
I'm the superpower that's the truest.
If y'all gonna see me do your best,
cause I'm more and more in your list.
I'm made of drugs.
That don't make no sense.
I'm made of drugs.
I'm made of drugs.
That's actually dope.
Literally.
Because I'm made of drugs
in the way of wannabe thugs.
Give me love
and give me hugs.
I'm an assault on the senses.
Made for all of the
chantes.
Seeing me is senseless
cause you see you just can't
dance this I'm solid
like a rock
me and my powerful
cock
make it hot
and make it drop
make your cock
drop yes
and hot
I had a cock brawl make my hot cock drop? Yes! And hot.
I had a cock brawl.
Make my hot cock drop. I let the thing fall out.
Drop my cock like it's hot.
Best way to sever it.
Hot like the sun.
The apocalypse has begun.
So hot and run.
Cause then what might be fun?
Burn like the air on my lungs. and run cause it won't be fun.
Burn like an air of my lungs.
Burn like an air of my lungs.
Burn like an air of my lungs.
Burn like an air of my lungs.
Kill
a rainbow.
Kill like a pango.
Oh no.
Linkin Park showed up.
Popular music that ain't pop.
Everything I say is hot.
That's why all y'all N-words and bitches talk.
Got the game?
Well, shit, it's all locked.
I'm the same on top.
So shame on y'all,
cause you came to fall.
Five down and I was made too tall. I laugh at shame on y'all, cause you came to fall. Five nine and I was made too tall.
I laugh
at what all y'all these nidworts
say to ball. Pick up my
phone call.
Cause you don't call.
You make me feel so
small. But my self
esteem ain't dependent on you.
Although I seem like a
dumb fool. You on you. Although I seem like a dumb fool. You? On you?
Call,
call, small, fall,
tall, you. You?
Yeah. Okay. This is
written to my dad.
Alright. I'm keen
and I run school. Teach science
lessons to monks too.
Hard like the sun.
The apocalypse has begun.
So hot and raw.
Because it won't be the fall.
Burn like the air, my love.
Burn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So anyways, I'm going to kill the rainbow.
Because he'll let the rain go.
You thought you knew, but you didn't. You thought you knew, but you didn't.
You thought you knew, but you didn't.
You thought you knew, but you didn't.
Because you thought you knew, but you didn't.
End scene.
Skrt.
Thanks.
This is a good song that could make you very famous if you perform it well.
Absolutely.
How do you think you did, BunnyBread?
I think I did...
Is it a million dollars? Yeah, I think I did like a million
and a half dollars. Okay. Do you feel famous already?
I feel famous.
Kill a fucking rainbow then, I guess.
Gotta make the pain go away.
Gotta make the pain go.
Let's get another one here by Rick Campos.
John Toast, you were looking forward to this one.
Is that right?
Yes, I am.
Okay, good.
My name is Rick Campos, too.
Rick Campos!
And what's your song called?
I'm going to move my mic a little.
My rap name is MC All Caps.
The song is called I Just Popped a Molly.
What's it about?
Oh, my.
All right. Can you give me a description of your song i just popped a molly
the moods are epic floating light magical the style is ballad the artist's description is i
popped a molly and wrote this song yes i just popped a Molly. Now I'm feeling jolly.
Hardly cocky because I'm rocky.
All the hoes jock me.
It was fat, full, and blue because of the dye.
Am I going to die?
I don't think so because I'm so high.
I'm fit to touch the sky.
Feeling good, no lie.
Now I'm not feeling so shy.
Ain't scared of the gross pie.
Visualize space time.
With closed eyes.
Feeling like the world's all mine.
And seeing that the girls are fine
They can be the whole time
I just popped a molly
I just popped a molly
I just popped a molly
Molly, molly, molly, molly
Now I'm feeling jolly
Now I'm feeling jolly
Now I'm feeling jolly
Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly
I just popped a molly
Now I'm hot tamale My essence is my folly I'm on the floor crawling Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly. I just popped a molly.
Now I'm hot tamale.
My essence is my folly.
I'm on the floor crawling.
I'm on my hands and knees towards your feet.
And I'm going to cheat on your lips.
With your belly button, do any fluffing.
I'm going to put my stuff in.
Get your sweet 10-11.
On your essence, I'm grubbing.
And when I come down, I'll be sniffing piada on you.
You just popped a molly too.
When you come down, I'm going to keep you high, boo. Roll over with you like a stone. And I'm you come down I'ma keep you high boo
Nice
Roll over with you like a stone
And I'm feeling glad
That I'm home
What you do
What you do
I just popped a Molly
Damn
I just popped a Molly
Shit
I just popped a Molly
What
Molly Molly Molly Molly
Now I'm feeling jolly
Yeah
Now I'm feeling jolly
What
Now I'm feeling jolly
Wee
Jolly jolly jolly jolly I just popped ally. Now I'm feeling jolly. Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly.
I just popped a molly.
Feeling like I'll be just got it.
Even though I'm flying, I can feel like I'm falling.
And I get the echoes of you calling.
Come to me, my sweet darling.
I can feel the smile on your face.
You amplify my taste.
Ain't got no time to waste.
Let us move with haste.
I got the energy to chase.
I can feel your grace. You're burning hot like mace. Baby us move with haste. I got the energy to chase. I can feel your grace.
You're burning hot like mace.
Baby, you're on fire. Like your name
was Mariah. You're my burning desire.
Come get me before I retire.
I just popped a molly.
I just popped a molly.
I just popped a molly.
Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Now I'm feeling jolly.
Now I'm feeling jolly.
Now I'm feeling jolly. Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly. Now I'm feeling jolly. Now I'm feeling jolly.
Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly.
Yeah, I just popped a Molly.
Molly.
Molly.
Molly.
Molly.
Molly.
Molly.
Molly.
Molly.
Hey, Rick.
Yeah?
I don't think that was Molly.
That would explain a lot.
The 11th line of the song is, ain't scared of was Molly. That would explain a lot.
The 11th line of the song is, ain't scared of the gross, bye.
Ain't scared of the gross, goodbye.
I like to think that he just left for an hour and then came back and continued.
I can do this, I can do this, I can write this.
I'm not scared of the gross, goodbye. All right.
I think we might be due for a trifecta of Rick Campos,
because I know that Jay is very excited.
Oh, I am.
About my story.
Yeah, for sure.
So how would you describe the song, My Story?
This is my story of how I got to where I am today.
It's calm, cool, complex, and eerie, but the style is a celebration.
A celebration of life.
Here we go.
I used to be a normal kid with hopes and dreams.
That is until I went to the university.
I opened my mind with drugs and hallucinogens.
But that was a beginning as well as an end
Next thing I know I'm paranoid
Beating my girlfriend
So now to her my apologies I send
Started hearing voices that claim to be my friends
Mostly pretty famous girls
Cause that's my favorite trend
They told me I was God and the devil in one
In the beginning it was really fun
But now I live in a world
More than this one
Sprung on a voice in my head that calls
herself bitch number one mc lou albano because of this i can't keep a job and i have no money
but i never was a hater so nobody thinks it's funny i had a lot going for me gonna be successful
but being controlled by someone i trust but sure ain't real it sure is stressful the voice of my
head is the last one left but but she stole my heart, and
it's theft. She claims to be my soulmate,
communicating from another dimension, and she's beautiful
because I've seen her in hallucinations. This I must mention.
I sprung on myself, and I don't really mind.
I want to believe what I want, and
still be fine, because I got a lot to
offer in this life. I could
rule the world with a sharper edge than a knife.
I could fix the economy crazy as I am
cool-headed, and my opinion is is valuable even though I drink gasoline unleaded
It's not weird and to me I'm normal
It's just that my beliefs
They are unformal
I could be the one to unite science and religion
I have a perfect beautiful vision
And I have a mission that in order to meet my soulmate
I must fulfill
So I picked up a paper and quill
And got ready to thrill
Everyone who listens and everyone who must listen to this incision of communication.
Cause when you're done,
you'll all be here.
I'm your voice in my head and you'll all be either crazy like me or you'll
be dead.
I want to be your,
all your daily bread.
I quit all drugs to the death.
Now I smoke a cigarettes,
but they're the reason I'll be dead,
dead,
dead,
dead,
dead,
dead.
Oh boy. Oh, boy.
If you sing raps from the internet, you'll go to hell before you die.
I'm on Rick Campos' YouTube channel at the moment.
Yeah, tell me more.
Rick Campos has like 150 videos of his own raps here.
Oh, no.
This one isn't on here.
Although one of his first uploads is a song
called Ass to Ass.
Ass to Ass.
How is Ass to Ass spelled? Is it A-Z-Z?
No.
It does not
have the number two either.
Shit.
Hate this guy.
Alright.
He's since changed his name to Rick the Demigod
oh wow
alright
one of his most recent raps is called
House Full of Mirrors by Son Goku
alright this is the very last song that we have on offer here
and it is called
Conservative Politician.
Oh!
Hello.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
Hell of a fucko.
Fuck you, yeah, I guess I'll do what you tell me.
Now I remember why I say
wake for this shit.
Alright. I guess I'll do it, you tell me. Now I remember why I say, you know, wake for this shit. Yeah, so based on the belief of a corrupt government,
the lyrics were written from the point of view
of a politician speaking to the nation.
The moods are energetic, positive, and proud.
The styles are action-adventure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This rap is my favorite NES game.
And patriotic.
Here we go.
My aim is to leave the country
in a state as I launch
my next assault on the prostate
of the people.
Forging my way into their minds.
Oh god, you're off track.
Making sure I am all they find
when they go searching,
looking for answers or for a prayer.
All they'll find is me.
I'm there.
Am there.
Me, I'm there.
I'll find this me, I'm there.
Me, I'm there.
They'll implement tax upon their life.
Illinois.
Increase the stress upon their kids and wife.
They'll get a hobby.
A distraction.
They'll make it illegal. Ha ha!
The satisfaction. Illinois.
What is Illinois always doing?
Illinois, you know how they do.
Watching people burn
with no concern. I'm the boss.
They GTA learn.
Illinois make the children
go to school.
Mold, as in Bob Mold, their mind.
My way, make them a fool.
Teach them the power of the hierarchy tower.
I'm near the top, holding your life in my hands, and I'm ready to drop.
Ready to let go of what I hold.
Millions are crushed, but I get gold.
I'm sure you will all
understand why I sold your life.
I can't believe the masses don't
see through the lies. Happy to let us
poison the skies.
Keeping you in a
place with acts of terror.
Can't even catch us when we show you the
errors.
You won't make a decision.
You don't know the facts.
Counting all the money, you won't believe me.
They're stacks.
I get warned the public would overflow.
Throw, overflow, over, over.
I've got too many jowls to wrap.
My jowls are dangling in on each other.
But I'm still waiting for your balls to grow.
To the people who believe in communism
it's here
you're all the same
no vision
this is MC Alex Jones signing out
Infowars.com
Hillary for prison
you could have done that Rat Spear
I like the hype man there
not for that many verses
I like the hype man there that just yelled out conspiracy shit.
Oh, that was me.
Popping up in rap songs being like, loose change.
MKUltra.
Tuskegee.
Jet fuel can't be steel beam.
Roswell, y'all.
So.
Steel beams.
Selling crack to destroy the white race.
Wait.
Rothschilds.
Cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck.
Dillberg.
Dillberg.
So, F+, what did we learn from this garbage?
Fuck all.
I was born with rhythm.
Definitely.
That's how Canadians do. You brought serious heat there, Boots. Yeah, born with rhythm. Definitely. That's how Canadians do.
You brought serious heat there, Boots.
He's an informer.
Thanks, Lemon.
Yeah, you are an informer.
And Licky Boom Boom now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You whipped off me bloomers, whipped up me bottom.
Yeah, yeah.
Summit up.
Damn.
Licky Boom Boom down.
You know how it is.
Anything else that we learned?
I learned that when people write raps on the internet,
I don't think they ever say them out loud first.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I second that.
Because, yeah, I thought maybe, like,
I think I mentioned it earlier.
Who knows what made it to the episode.
But, like, okay, poetry.
Poetry is fucking everything, and people suck at it.
But, like, rap, it's like you have to say that shit
over a beat. You'd think people would be like, oh,
these are too many words, like just looking at it.
Nope, nope, it's, pack it in.
It's all there. Pack it up and pack it in.
Yeah, it's,
I mean, it's,
we talked about this before
in like poetry episodes, but it's like,
what the fuck, what were you
listening to? Like like what is your
frame of reference like there's like there's a lot of rap battles out there that were there don't
actually have the beats underneath there's just kind of like uh spitting whatever the hell you
want sure and you just end on an insult and you're fine right it doesn't really matter up until that
point these guys probably didn't listen to that shit regardless so i'm bringing it up yeah i just wanted to try to be
nice and that this is the place where we're nice right yeah i just i don't know i'm just i'm very
confused at just like what your frame of reference for like for for all of these people if i were to
go like what's rap music like what like okay what would come to their mind so for the first section
that was the battle rap section if you ask question, it would definitely be dudes on rooftops, like in Windbreakers, yelling homophobic slurs at each other with no beat.
Yeah.
That's called Xbox Live, baby.
Hell yeah.
All day.
All day.
The perception of a rapper that Acier had in that one episode where it was just some guy
crossing his arms going yo yo yo yo
the whole time. That's how I pictured every one
of these people.
It's them and their heart.
And you're here to say
you love whatever
in a somethingly way.
Yeah, this was fun and uh similar to uh the f plus uh rap or similar to the f plus
things uh on thefpl.us uh we will have the actual audio um so if anyone wants to try to turn this
into a song good luck good luck. God bless you.
Some of us had metronomes running in the background and it didn't help a fucking bit.
Some of us didn't.
I tried a metronome for the first time in my life
and I'm not sure it helped.
There's only so much you can do
with the material you're given.
Well, your shit was poetry.
That's true.
We'll have some remixes.
If you do a remix, maybe I'll give you something.
And Ball Pit is a website, and that's cool.
Don't be a piece of shit.
Go to Ball Pit.
That's right.
That's right.
Yeah.
The internet make you want to quit?
Hey, fuck that.
Go down to Ball Pit.
Oh, my name is Boots, and I'm here to say you should spend $10 today.
In a major way.
Yeah.
Yeah, spend $10 on Ball Pit, and then donate $10 to the Patreon of I Don't Even Know Television,
and then all your entertainment is paid for.
Yes, please.
Bye-bye.
And then throw $10 into the air.
Riff Raff will find it.
Why did y'all just throw $10 in the air?
I felt it with my vision.
I licked the air and I could feel it.
Are you guys mocking Riff Raff?
You sons of bitches.
You bastards.
He was born without a brain. Once again, the F Plus Raps is your opportunity to remix the F Plus.
I've got the split audio files posted on this episode's page on the F Plus website.
On the F Plus website, you can find the F Plus Raps on the FPL.us page.
And similar to the F Plus Sings episode, that's number 151 if you're unfamiliar, I'd love
for people to try their hand at making something out of them.
F Plus Live is coming up soon, I'm printing up t-shirts for it, so I'll probably be able
to give away a couple of these when they're ready.
Thanks for listening, this is the 80s, and I'm down with the ladies.