The F Plus - 224: UGH! F Plus Raps

Episode Date: August 13, 2016

It's been too long since our last musical episode, but this one is worth the wait. We gathered together some of The F Plus' greatest hip-hop enthusiasts (and also Boots) to browse the internet's ...finest sources for hip hop lyrics; I'm talking about DeviantArt, WikiHow, Yahoo Answers, and some site from Colombia. The result will make you kill a rainbow. This week, The F Plus lost their minds. Eight times!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I was influenced by a nerdcore a lot. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. If you want to try to make a song out of this, feel free. Create rap music because I never dug disco. This is the F Plus Podcast. Terrible place with terrible things. They're red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight, we have Boots Ring gear.
Starting point is 00:00:26 Smack it up, flip it, rub it down. Oh, no. Bunny bread? You could be my princess. I know which castle is yours. Nerd shit, y'all. John Toast? You ever had a chick who pussy had the odor of holy water?
Starting point is 00:00:41 From I don't even own a television, it's J.W. Friedman. I crash with the shoddy, smash with the shoddy. call me J. Gotti, get cash with the shoddy. And lemon. Bam, pow, headshot, fear the red dot. Another point, I got you, I'm so sorry for your loss. Not! Hey, F-Plus. Hey.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Hello. Hey, Lemon. So, J. Bunnybread Boots, John Toast, what is your favorite genre of music? Gregorian chant. Like classic Gregorian chants? No, no, no. The new metal version? Gregorian chant. Like classic Gregorian chants? No, no, no. The new metal version of Gregorian chant. The new metal version? You want to say post-happy hardcore?
Starting point is 00:01:34 Yeah. So medium core. That's just Tylenol. That's what post-happy hardcore is. The theme from Sonic Ice Cap Zone? that's it. I just listened to that on loop. I like that, but when people rap
Starting point is 00:01:49 over it. You've heard of my OC remix, I see. Well, today we're going to be looking at two different interesting documents, one of which was provided by Thursley and the other one provided by Please and Thanks. And we are going to be looking at rap music from the Internet. How do you spell that?
Starting point is 00:02:18 I have no idea. I have no idea. W-R-A-P, I assume, but that's just a guess. Yeah, so this is all rap lyrics that we will be presenting. And I think we should start off with the site that is, of course, known for rap music. I'm talking about DeviantArt. You think hip-hop. All right. DeviantArt. You think hip-hop. Alright, so
Starting point is 00:02:45 this is a document provided by Thursley, and let me just present you with the URL so you know what we're looking at here. www.deviantart.com forward slash browse, forward slash all, forward slash literature, question mark order equals nine,
Starting point is 00:03:02 Q equals nerdcore. Good. Good. Yeah. Great, right? Yeah? You excited? Yeah, boy. I'm fucking stoked.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Boots, I think you should start it off. This is a short one. This is a short one, but it's succinct. This one is called Nerdcore Rom N' Jewel. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm less... Lisi2k5. Are you sure this is a rap and not an Avril Lavigne cover? That's what I was thinking, too.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Okay. All right. He was a Sonic boy. I, a Mario girl. Born of rivalry, a controller in hand. One chased rings, the other coins. Sega looked at Nintendo. Nintendo at Sega.
Starting point is 00:03:54 And then they realized the princess was no longer. In another castle, love in eight boots. Damn. Damn. Excellent. Wow. Already with the fire. Spit it hot.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Beat that, motherfuckers. I don't speak English, so I'm assuming it's true. Wait, is this a description for this? Is this a poem I wrote for my boyfriend, Daniel? Okay. That sounds right. I'm breaking out of my nerdy shell a little bit, too. Oh, breaking out, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Yep, nothing nerdy about that. Oh, shit, there's a nerdy shell out here, too. All right, all right, all right. Let's get to some longer piece here. Jay. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, This poem is called Level Up. It is by Demir Sol.
Starting point is 00:04:51 And there are parts that are in bold and parts that aren't for some reason. Hang on one second. Let me catch the beat here. Alright, so my name is Demir Sol. This is called Level Up. It's literature, poetry, humor, songs, and lyrics. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:05:08 You can say so. It's all of those things. I'm sitting, sitting home at night, wishing something would just happen, happen, maybe, be in an RPG with a fire-breathing dragon. Just hoping, praying for a change while i'm playing twilight princess and oh man would it not be great if something would just hit us knock me out oh take the mundane away equip this take on that unleash the full attack save world. I wish it all could be me. But they say that's just tough. Yeah, I wish life would level up. Level up, level up, level up.
Starting point is 00:05:51 I'd trade my manga for a change to a land due for destruction. Boom. The natives there would tell the tale of their savior. The chosen one. That's me. And oh, then in a nod twist of the fate i'd be their sought out hero i'd kick the butt of the evil king till his hp drained zero he dead uh knock me out take the mundane away equip this take on that unleash the full attack save the world i wish it all could be
Starting point is 00:06:23 me but they say that's just enough yeah i wish life would level up and then it says instrumental oh yeah the day is saved the land is restored But we're all forgetting one thing. I may be awesome here and now. But too bad, it's all a dream. Oh, well. Knock me out.
Starting point is 00:06:52 Take the mundane away. Equip this, take on that. Unleash the full attack. Save the world. I wish it all could be me. But they say that's just tough. I wish life would level up. Level up.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Yeah. Rap. Rap. Rap again. I do want to mention, this song is for the band My Otaku Romance. A link to their MySpace will be provided in the near future.
Starting point is 00:07:21 They don't have a MySpace yet? Well, you know, we'll get to that. In the year 2002. Oh, God. I'm like the nerdiest motherfucker on this podcast right now, and even I'm hitting critical mass. My otaku romance? Are you fucking kidding me?
Starting point is 00:07:37 This is really upsetting. Wait, the genre is otaku rock slash nerdcore? Oh, all the genres. All the hot beats. Well, you'll probably enjoy this one then, John Toast. It is a rap song called Nerdcore.
Starting point is 00:07:56 It's by Mr. Monster. What's it about? Well, it's literature, poetry, emotional, and free verse. Hmm. Alright. Free verse means no line breaks. Well, it's literature, poetry, emotional, and free verse. All right. Free verse means no line breaks. I put words down.
Starting point is 00:08:12 I don't like to put them in rhythm or nothing. All right. Hi, this is nerdcore. I'm Mr. Monster. Literature, poetry, emotional, free verse. Okay. Right. Here I am.
Starting point is 00:08:26 I'm a nerd who cares. Didn't choose this thug life, and it didn't choose me. I am on no 303. I'm sitting down playing on my PS3. Hope to live life. Yeah. To fulfill my dreams. I don't got strength cred, but I'll beat you dead at MTG because I think of myself as an MLG.
Starting point is 00:08:48 I don't worship the lowest of those gangsters. Ha, they're just fucking pranksters when the bitches see me. I don't make them go, oh, oh, oh, but I'll play this shit out of my heart. I chose top. Oh my god, no, keep going, don't stop. That's the greatest nerd car rap ever. I chose Donkey Kong over Bong I See. These games as a challenger.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Well, challenge accepted, nerd reppin'. Bring in the street fighter, I'll leave you in the dirt. Don't know where you've been, but don't fuck with Ken. She, she, she the okin. Ah, shit, now your jaw's broken. let's move on to the beat of the song tmt is on i don't care when you speak navi cling on or namekian speak but i welcome you to play all games with me as a new challenger appears no fair let's take down with my falcon punch I've been taking down all bunch by punch when you take me on you get TMF
Starting point is 00:09:48 my guild backs me up are you sure about that? I think your guild is oh my god I too chose Donkey Kong over bong I choose Donkey Kong over bong I see get me out of the streets
Starting point is 00:10:04 I don't make him go Oh oh oh but I'll play this shit out of Mario Oh shit I just noticed it's OUIT out of Mario There's a lot of good shit there You didn't got no street good cred I was just flowing you know I ant reppin no 303
Starting point is 00:10:21 I'm looking it up right now The 303 area code Is Denver Colorado Oh Reppin' No 303. I'm looking it up right now. The 303 area code is Denver, Colorado. Oh! So either that or he does not own a cool 80s Rollins synthesizer. Yeah, I've seen the synthesizer the whole time. Yeah. I ain't reppin' from Denver.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Damn, you know Denver. Where all the hip-hop come from. Colorado Springs, what's up? No, it's a work What's up, work? I ain't reppin' no 303. 303 is a diagnostic error on HP photocopiers. That actually makes a lot more sense. Probably does.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Okay. Boots for us. So, my name is Fox Carnage. Hi, Fox Carnage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fox Carnage is my name. Well, you've already won the battle. I've forfeited.
Starting point is 00:11:06 I'm like a furry Satan kind of thing. I'm glad you're here, because I'm sick of this fucking video game bullshit. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, you don't get any of that shit. No, no, no, no. Good. Thank God. Yeah, this one's called Dawn Rook Rap.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Even I don't know what that means Is this chess? Oh shit no don't worry about it I'll fucking explain it Don Rook is in the house Like a real MG Flying up on those wizards Cause I'm a real LG
Starting point is 00:11:38 I kick ass in wizard duels And I do it looking even better Repping how Slytherin In my green and gray sweater. 13 inch cedar wand with a phoenix feather core. When they catch me casting spells I get those witches screaming more. I get all the witches
Starting point is 00:11:53 swooning and you can't deny that I'm the baddest. I can even get the wizard stiff with a petrified total analyst. That's a dick. Just because I'm a Slytherin doesn't mean that I'm evil. It just means I'm in it to win it and better than most people.
Starting point is 00:12:10 I'm destined for greatness, but I aim to be the best with my wand in my hand and a fire in my chest. And now let's move on to this wood between my legs. Oh no. I'm talking about my broomstick. Let's not get carried away. I have this wizard swag and
Starting point is 00:12:26 a stack of house points. You can find me in the common room passing a joint. Slytherin got this bag. We were gonna win the house cup and all the other houses can just shut the fuck up. Oh, pardon my parcel tongue, but I got wraps that can bust a lung. And if you wizards
Starting point is 00:12:42 have a problem, you can step up and get some. I'm out. Damn. Goddamn. that can bust a lung, and if you wizards have a problem, you can step up and get some. I'm out! Damn! God damn. Pardon my parcel time. Fuck you, metronome, I don't need you. Fox Carnage, I think you should give us a
Starting point is 00:12:57 rundown. I really want to know the backstory of that. Yeah, this was a random rap I wrote for my Harry Potter OC, Dawn Rook oc dawn rook based off my potter more character dawn rook 20417 slytherin for life right right okay good i could have guessed that but i just wanted i didn't know your patronus was slick i have a response to that oh what this is too beautiful slytherin for life yo look i get why like in the poetry like you know people probably just bang it like in the poetry episodes people just bang out poetry and like fuck it i wrote poetry bye yeah like in
Starting point is 00:13:31 this like how can you not make lines scan if it's wrapped how can you not read this and be like dread wrap this be like oh this line's way too long no it's fine i i some people have a really flexible concept of rhythm. It's amazing. Maybe they don't have a metronome. That's a very common thing we find with poetry in this, is that usually by the fifth line, your stanzas are twice as long as the ones in the beginning. They just got so much shit to say.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Yeah. Well, the next rap song that we have here is for mature audiences only. So you're going to get an age verification when you go to this page. So who's the best here at Stutter Rap? It's Boots Rangier. It's Boots Rangier. It sure is. I don't even know what Stutter Rap is, but I'm the best.
Starting point is 00:14:21 All right. Well, then, Boots, your name is T-Mills. Oh. This song is called Period Style, Period Talent, Period Love, Period. Yeah, this is Period Style, Period Talent, Period Love, Period. Oh man, there's a
Starting point is 00:14:37 picture of you. You definitely are a Nerdcore rapper. Get ready to drop some M-bombs, too. Fucker. Yeah. I don't play sports, but I'm still winning the game. No one knows me, but I still got the... Y'all niggas better than me.
Starting point is 00:14:55 I still call them lame. Y'all say the shit sucks. I feel no... I'll send you. Fuck, I'll take the blame. Load up your guns. It's time to take... Oh, God! We're coming to your domain. If I kill you. Fuck, I'll take the blame. Load up your guns. It's time to take a aim. Watch your fucker. We're coming to your domain. If I kill you, no one will forget my aim.
Starting point is 00:15:12 I ain't got style. I agree. Okay, so we're done? Yep, yep, yep, yep. I ain't got no style. I ain't got no talent. I ain't got no love. I am from beyond.
Starting point is 00:15:23 I'm going to make you yawn. Both promised indeed, sir. Pardon? Anyway, here comes more lyrics. I want to fit in so I wear your designer clothes. I see a camera so I have to strike a p-o-o's. I don't think I'm
Starting point is 00:15:39 high. I don't sniff the rose. I write some lyrics. Then I come p-o-o-o's. Just quick question. What you think of my flows? I don't sniff the rose I write some lyrics Then I compose Just quick question What you think of my flows I don't have any fans No girl wants me I call y'all hoes You ain't got to tell me I know my talent
Starting point is 00:15:56 I ain't got style Check out my lame ass haircut Look at my clothes I just b-od I ain't got no talent Can't you tell from the song what I keep doing? Ra-a-a-a-a-am. I ain't got no love.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Sometimes I wonder why that it makes me want to cr-cr-cr-eye. That doesn't work. Unlike the rest of it. I ain't got no style. I ain't got no talent. I ain't got no love. I am got no talent I ain't got no love I am from the beyond Gonna make you yawn
Starting point is 00:16:28 Yeah well it's Definitely over You guys wanna hear some more of this That's cool you must be done at this point No I don't play sports but I'm winning the game No one knows me but I still got the Aim y'all niggies better Jesus
Starting point is 00:16:44 No no no it's fine It's fine he said niggies Nothing wrong with that But I still got the f-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a The blame? Load up your guns. It's time to take aim. Watch out. Fuck out. You come. If I kill you, no one will forget my aim. All right. So Boots. Awesome. Everything about that was perfect. Just everything.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Oh, thanks. With the exception of he actually did the same bars twice. I don't pay sports. Not play sports. Pay sports. Oh, yeah. You're right. I don't pay sports.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Oh, yeah. I don't. He said twice, dear. I don't pay sports. He doesn't pay for sports. Pay sports. Oh, yeah, you're right. I don't pay sports. Oh, yeah. I don't. Twice, dear. I don't pay sports. He doesn't pay for sports. Nope. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:17:30 So, Bunny Bread. Yes. I know that you had some opinions on Boots' handling. On hip and or hop? Well, of the hipping and the hopping, but more specifically how Boots handled that. I said it was perfect. That T-Mills song. So that's fine.
Starting point is 00:17:46 That's fine. You can correct his errors right now because I'm going to give you a choice of two different T-Mills songs. The famous T-Mills? And you get to do one of them. Oh my. Would you like to do the T-Mills hit
Starting point is 00:18:00 Split-Personality or would you like to do the T-Mills hit Lost Mind? Which one has more cutesy racial slurs in it? hit split hyphen personality or would you like to do the T-Mills hit lost mind? Which one has more cutesy racial slurs in it? They're both equally offensive. Oh, well then. The second one. I see pussy, crack, black, whack. What?
Starting point is 00:18:16 The second one. Alright. Then lost mind it is. So here you go. You're T-Mills and you suck. Oh, you're right-Mills, and you suck. Oh, you're right. You suck. Boots, on the other hand.
Starting point is 00:18:33 I believe Juggalo Jake is in order. Yeah, this is fucking Juggalo shit. Oh, yay. North Mind. Yeah. Literature. Poetry. Hum mind. Yeah. Literature. Poetry. Humor.
Starting point is 00:18:48 All the love. I've lost my mind. Have you seen it? I think all I said when I was talking to Jesus. He told me to go to the mall and pull out my penis. When I do little kids, I say, have you seen this? Shit in your hot dog roll and make you eat it. Wait, no, no, no. Shit in your hot dog roll and make you eat it wait no no no
Starting point is 00:19:05 shit in your hot dog roll and make you eat it eat it why did you interrupt perfection jump in your pool just don't take a piss I'm so gay sir I slid your mic towards
Starting point is 00:19:17 then I blame it all up on Mike Miles y'all never fin out that we're lies did Mr. Miller just say we or the voices that I say me? Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:28 I go up to Christians. I take it back. I take it back. Flip mode is not the greatest. Flip mode is the squad, y'all. Flip mode is this way. I go up to Christians. I go up to Christians.
Starting point is 00:19:40 They yell obscenities. I like to see them cry like little babies. They yell that freak like they got the rabies. I go to gay bars and get in a fight-sees. I go to lesbian bars and hit on dykes-ees. I chill at the park to go steal kids' kites-ees. I drink at the Bill Gates home to steal megabytes. I drive at night without turning on my headlights.
Starting point is 00:20:04 I lost my mind eight times. Have you seen it? Oh, God. I drive at night without turning on my headlights. I've lost my mind. Eight times. Have you seen it? I left it with Jesus. Four times. Four times. That's four Jesuses.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Ludacris said, he's so evil. He goes on blind dates with actual blind people. But, Travi, it's so crazy. I sleep in a bed with an actual dead baby. Oh my God. Jesus. You're twisted, man. Down with the fucking clowns.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Y'all say I need to shut up before I get so shut up. So I tell you to eat my cock up. Y'all can shut the fuck up. Check out my superpower. I can take a piss in the shower. Take a shit right off the Eiffel Tower. And dance in traffic to a broad shower.
Starting point is 00:20:53 I lost my mind eight times. Have you seen it? Eight more fucking times. Jesus has it. That's several Jesuses. We're more underground than your septic tank. My rhymes smell worse than septic rank. It'll make you convulse like a
Starting point is 00:21:07 epileptic frank. Yeah, it's true. I ain't got no money in the bank. I jump on the back of a BMX. The writer's trying to flee a T-Rex. Dude, get off my damn bike and take a fucking hike. Before I be too with us
Starting point is 00:21:23 to bike. What about the giant lizard, Mike? Dude, what the fuck? You high? No, man. I just lost my fucking mind. I lost my mind eight times. Eight times! Have you seen it?
Starting point is 00:21:35 Eight fucking times! Hell yeah. Oh, man. I didn't like him, but I loved his hype man eight times. The thing about that is I lost my mind times 8 but like I lost my mind 8 times is a way better line yeah no totally
Starting point is 00:21:54 you're welcome you fixed the song oh and then there's a response to this sometimes we just lose our minds and dots and dots and dots. Yeah, there we go. And apparently the group is called Kittens on Fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:14 But there's a lot of groups called Kittens on Fire. That's true. Yeah, the Beatles went through several names before they settled on the Beatles. You know, I realize this guy's made me realize something. Self-deprecating comedy only really works if you establish yourself as funny or interesting beforehand. Because if you just come out and the first thing you say is, I suck!
Starting point is 00:22:34 And then all this shit. I suck! I fucked a baby! Ha ha ha! Y'all gonna buy my CD? Yeah, I agree. Go away. I'm bad at rapping and my dick is small. You're right. See ya. I'm bad at rapping and my dick is small. You're right. I'm the fat Jew. Why'd you have to bring this down, Lemon?
Starting point is 00:22:51 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. All right. John Toast is going to give you a choice. These are both farts. going to give you a choice. These are both art. Now I'm interested from that reaction.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Both of these. Here we go. Track number one is called Song Colon Headshot by Photoshop Freak. Door number two? Door number two is Lab Coat Scientist Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Door number two? Door number two is Labcoat Scientist Wanted by Bushido Hacks. This is hardly a choice.
Starting point is 00:23:36 I got to go with the Labcoat Scientist Wanted, whatever. Labcoat Scientist Wanted by Bushido Hacks. All right. This, again, literature, poetry. This one has the sociopolitical tag. That's fun. And you need a lab coat scientist, right? I do. All right.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Let me. All right. This is Lab Coat Scientist Wanted by Bushido Hacks. Literature, poetry, sociopolitical, and free verse. Oh, no. Lab Coat Scientist Wanted. Oh, no. Ew! Nice! Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:24:26 What? What? out there saying, drill, baby, drill. While BP keeps hiring some street preacher to fill while BP continues to kill. Ecosystems dying and drowning. Choking and soaking. Tar balls just like taffy. BP, we're not happy. Wow. Zach De La Roca bringing it tonight. Where are the guys who look like
Starting point is 00:24:44 Freeman Gordon Who aren't having lunch with the king of Jordan Who have an army on folks on call Not lizards who manipulate the laws Since when does a JD outrank a PhD Where's the guy who stayed up late studying chemistry? The physics majors with crowbars down the hall looking to bash in
Starting point is 00:25:09 ignorant skulls. In a room full of ideas that aren't working. BP lawyers in clown suits and jerking. It sucks that I have to use such language, but the world doesn't need another Anchorage. I want to use such language, but the world doesn't need another Anchorage.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Yeah, it's a shitty fallout reference. I want to see the lab coat scientists. Fix the oil problem BP seems to miss. Hire some noobs with something to proof. How many people with Asperger's are in the room? None? You got to be kidding. We're the scientists.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Oh, my God. Those motherfuckers were lying. They were getting you pissed, I heard. Where'd you get your diploma? In a box of cereal? I don't believe anybody working for BP is for real. Actually trying to solve this disaster while the lawyers get plastered.
Starting point is 00:25:59 It's okay. It's like eating motor oil with your hush puppies. Keep dicking around, you trust fund yuppies. I'll pay $10 for shrimp for Lent, asking myself where all my gas money went. Congressman, did you get the check I sent? What kind of rap is this? I can't follow this.
Starting point is 00:26:17 It changes every line. We changed it. It's like 7-4 time for this one. It smells so toxic. I'm nauseous. I'm trying not to puke while I eat my 30-way coffee. When the petroleum lawyer decides what street corner
Starting point is 00:26:33 to put his brand new corner office. Oh my god! This is so hot. It makes me sick that I'll never see clean water and clear water. Gator and Gumbo in a life-filled bayou with everything dies because nobody studied bio. I don't know what's happening. You're a Scientologist, aren't you?
Starting point is 00:26:53 I don't know what's... But my religion doesn't believe we come from apes, yet condemn the scientist when the preacher rapes. Oh, I touched on religion. Now you're upset. Better get out the scientist when the preacher rapes. Oh, I touched on religion. Now you're upset. Better get out the scientist apology kit. Seriously? That exists? Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Now we are screwed. This is probably as bad as alligators covered in crude. Who got to be kidding me? Ignorance prevails? The oil industry is too big to fail? I put $50 of gas in the car this morning. Surely you're all broken and running. No, that's Sudley.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Sudley, I'm sorry. Sudley, you're all broken and running to get people signed waivers. Fuck your liability ass saver. What the hell is BP doing? I don't think I can hear you. Oh, wait, does Kane come from out?
Starting point is 00:27:45 Oh my god, it goes on you. Oh, where'd this cane come from? Oh, this has to be the one. Oh my god, it goes on forever. No, no, no, no. We gotta... No, what are you doing? It has to keep going. Yeah, I'm back now. What the hell is BP doing? This ain't cleaning up.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Cover it in hay and dispersants, then light the fucker up. I don't think so. Get a mop or a broom. Build a giant shop vacuum Before you seal in Fire metal doom Up We are going to prevent
Starting point is 00:28:09 The disaster Not be slashed To the oil master Not let Animal wind pipes Clog or have the media Appeal to all birds Covered in sludge
Starting point is 00:28:17 What Up No no no No It's important We keep going Sorry I got all excited
Starting point is 00:28:23 To drop what they're doing. Because the oil continues to... Boots, he's suffered enough. We've suffered enough. ...the bottom and top. Give me Gordon Freeman to clean this mess up. Give me Gordon Freeman. I want to see the lab coat scientist
Starting point is 00:28:37 fix some oil problem. BPC to this. I'm out. Holy shit, Machino Hacks. I could feel that. That shit's going platinum. Read the fourth short paragraph. The metronome did shit for me there.
Starting point is 00:28:52 There is a lot of ang-ware in this piece. Ang-ware. In this piece. At one point he says Hulk smash. Most notably with the lack of intelligence. Well, though, ideas.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Well, though, ideas. 30-weight oil shrimp basket with hushpupp... What is this about big shrimp? What's the deal? Three-way? Jay? Somebody from Clearwater wrote a rap. Well, they can't all be an emo band.
Starting point is 00:29:28 That's true. But, like, I mean, it wasn't ever good, but at first I was like, okay, it's got, like, this weird... Okay, it's, like, it's kind of a rap. Like, it's a thing I can do a shitty, like, nerd rap thing to. And then it just... All right, now it's different in different lines now, different scanning.
Starting point is 00:29:42 It's just like, oh, fuck. Our balls just like taffy. BP, we're not happy. Yeah, you know. Perfect. These lines now, different scanning. It's just like, oh, fuck. Carballs just like taffy. BP, we're not happy. Yeah, you know. Perfect. These words rhyme, thus rap. All right, Jay. You get to make a choice yourself.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Oh, boy. All right. Option number one. Dear Geeks Space Pipe Space, an open parentheses rhyming close parentheses letter by Jack DeWitt 4. Your other rap is cosplaying myself.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Oh, that one for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this to the beat of Mac Dre's feeling myself? I hope. Am I in the building and cosplaying myself? I think I was imagining gang of fours i parade myself but that works too i was like i think i was thinking gg ellens i want to
Starting point is 00:30:31 fuck myself but okay i was thinking divinals i want to touch myself i was thinking of return of the mac but that doesn't have anything to do with anything i was just thinking of titties yeah i do yes i do uh yeah this is by sunshine hyphen dis disco dog sunshine disco dogma all right yeah sunshine disco dogma in the house yeah one two here we go cosplaying myself it's how we do it how we do i open my heart to the world only to feel it be impaled upon a giant 10 foot stick open myself to the world only to to walk alone for a bit. But I know, I know that this is only a moment. A singularity I have to escape.
Starting point is 00:31:10 If I can find a break from the darkness to arise into my place. Wow. If only I could remove this mask that I built up for myself. Let people know the me that I know and see. I get stuck cosplaying myself. I get stuck cosplaying myself i get stuck cosplaying myself what what like go go godzilla in this monster apocalypse over myself a shadow eclipses i feel drawn to it like mothra to a giant bug zapper zap zap boom in an instance i am back to scrapper
Starting point is 00:31:37 my city crumbles at my mask a realization that it took me years to grasp this cognitive view of who i am verse who i should be alien verse versus Cthulhu versus Kaiju-C. But. What the fuck? This is the worst. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:31:51 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:31:51 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:31:52 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:31:52 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:31:53 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:31:53 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:31:54 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:31:54 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:31:58 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:32:01 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But.
Starting point is 00:32:04 But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But monsters attack. I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself. I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself. What's this new track by Nerdy Fiasco? Self, self, self, self. Now I'm staring down my monsters like my Yo-Jo to my Mask Megatron. My thoughts ping off it like BBs against the broad side of the barn. And I can see these. A demon that i created and now
Starting point is 00:32:26 i can't defeat see like my own personal legion that is out to get me but i want to be me i want it finally and i know who that exposed it to be so help me defeat this mask and let me be doing something other than cosplaying me i don't want to fight it anymore finding myself exhausted for it more than before more than before my More than before. My giant monster. The mask I wear. I don't even think it cares. It's grasping for survival just as I would, but I'd destroy it myself. Only if I could.
Starting point is 00:32:54 I want the world to see the me that I am proud to be. But first I gotta fend off what I originally wanted it to see. So help me become myself before I become the music again Tearing down, tearing down my city Help me fight myself Because I am becoming the mask again Tearing down, tearing down my perception With giant, giant monsters
Starting point is 00:33:14 I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself I said I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself I feel like I'm stuck cosplaying myself. I feel like I stuck cosplaying myself. Flip mode is the illest. The squid-on. Rock on Minneapolis. Rock on Michigan.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Jace potato chips. You can't eat just one. Oh, man. When giant monsters attack, I feel like I stuck cosplaying myself. Wow. That was... That was amazing. That was a lot of syllable stuffing there.
Starting point is 00:33:50 Yeah. I tried. It's like fucking professional stuffing syllables into a beat. When you're Sunshine Disco Dogma, you got a lot of practice under your belt. I've been part of the Nerdcore battle scene since the live journal days. All I could think when you're doing it,
Starting point is 00:34:10 it's like kick, kick, slide into it. Oh, um, so it's sunshine disco dogma. You had a little bit to say about yourself. Uh,
Starting point is 00:34:22 it basically is what it basically is. What? Um, well, it basically is, I have become more and more happy with the me that is me, and I want the world to see this me, but I'm stuck in the mask that was me, see? Well, anyways, I just imagined this giant monster on writer's struggle in my mind, the Henshin hero, no bigger than a man, taking on a giant monster. And that is the origins to the song. Hey, my name's Randy Raven.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Hey, Randy Raven. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm going to bring it. Good. I mean... Randy Raven, you sound dark. Are you going to give us something light and fun? No.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Now the rap flavor is future, apparently. No, dog. No, dog. No. When you've gone through the shit that i've seen when you've when you've experienced the death of wcw it's none other than shane mcmahon respect that's why my rap is called nerdcore dark core yeah yeah pouring out a little bit of my juice box right now
Starting point is 00:35:22 respect all right here we go. Squeeze it up my capri sun. Reality just isn't my friend. With the heartache I rate, I take, I pretend to be a man with intellect and tact. Poking jabs in reality's face just like that. It's uneasy for you to seem, for you, it's uneasy you see for me to seem free. From the hustle and bustle this cognitive view when i see her of my face online my heart drops because a large mind just isn't what she
Starting point is 00:35:52 wants terrorize my brain with emotions and turn it detaches my heart with the potions ensuring my time will come quicker than sooner while stirring it's insane you know the way our pheromones work perhaps it's on her beauty or persona or her smirk. But when I can't get away from bitter sustain, when I realize I can't get her out of my brain, here's a line break. Uh, uh. Yeah, line break.
Starting point is 00:36:16 What? What? That line is broken. More so than ever when I read her written letter, I know it could be better if she felt the same My delusional fantasies come to life before me Every night after work I play my games
Starting point is 00:36:30 Construct a new life as I fire a fusk Photoshop is a tool to release the nuts I'm sampling that for a real song Yeah On to the web where the lonely losers greet. Shoop up, girls. They know they will never meet. Control J, Shift L, mess with those
Starting point is 00:36:51 frequencies just to see if maybe there is nothing underneath. Perversions grow quick from 11 to 60. All in between, mind delusions get nasty. But you sit, you fantasize away, you know. She's out there with another guy getting laid you know maybe it's time to give up on the games maybe it's time to let her out of my brain here's a line
Starting point is 00:37:12 break yeah i didn't know the perversion scale went from 11 to 60. it's interesting turn up stabbing at my chest as a seer i am what's wrong brb sad face big grin it's not like i'm some fucking kid who gets away with bawling oh i would go toe-to-toe with steven hawking in a game of lolling the game of lying the game of lying yeah puppies that's that's the game that we play the universal machine time code delivering a message to me in those years in between when I spent my time making quake corridors, cracking past and finding sites with hidden back doors, chewing on the 56K as much as I could, delete the download, double files ain't good.
Starting point is 00:38:01 I tell that kid to get up, go out, just scream, just shout just to beam the ray you know you have to show the light that you have all because you too are afraid to let no bastard through your chest. The ladies are objects in which wishing will invest
Starting point is 00:38:20 and sitting on your PC won't grow your fame while all those ladies fester inside your brain. Another line break. I love how you passed the Fred Schneider threshold there for a moment. No, pass through your chest. Stabbing at my chest as
Starting point is 00:38:35 I see here I am. This song sucks. But it wasn't a nerd. It was a nerd dark core. Nerd dark core. Nerd dark core. So all of our all of our hipping and hopping here was was done courtesy of DeviantArt in the nerd core category. Because, of course, it was.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Because, of course course it was. Because of course it was. So we are actually going to move away from there and into another document right here. Because there's other places on the internet for rap. Okay, obviously, yes, DeviantArt, DeviantArt, great place for rap. Wonderful place for rap. There are other places that you can go for rap, such as WikiHow. And the comments section of every YouTube video ever. Well, funny you mention that, because this is actually not from WikiHow itself.
Starting point is 00:39:36 But this is from the discussion page of WikiHow to write rap lyrics. Oh, nice. Awesome. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Awesome. Oh. Oh. This is good. I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Oh, God. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Bunny Bread, these are all anonymous. So, you are the IP that starts with 72.39. And you wanted to offer your own rap lyrics in the comment section to WikiHouse how to write rap lyrics. Four octets, what's up?
Starting point is 00:40:17 God, it's going to be, okay, I got to get hardcore. Yeah, yeah, you got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ain't making this rap for MTV I'm making it out for me So don't you see If I happen to ever be famous My lyrics will be so contagious
Starting point is 00:40:37 So contagious I'm only 14 but my lyrics happen to be db best i did a best scene oh shit well i'm white big shock but it ain't no super steric it i it ain't no supersteric. It's supersterous. Su-su-studio. So you better hear it. Cause this stage, I'm a terret. And I was born in Toronto, Ontario. Representing Putin. It were I had grow.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Then I had to go to Georgetown. It's word this beat be going down it ain't get who but it goes to show that i can pay play d rapping game didn't do it for fame so don't new see maybe i'll be on MTV. Eventually. Yeah. Indis rap helps essentially. Essentially. Oh, boy. Essentially. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Yeah, get off the stage, motherfucker. Oh, oh. Yeah. Shit. Is there someone whiter than me? I'm an IP address that starts with 24. Wait, are we now moving over to the discussion of WikiHowToSurviveAFreestyleRapBattle?
Starting point is 00:42:09 Uh-oh. How do you survive a freestyle rap battle? Yo, dudes, I'm 13 and a half. This title's made me a better freestyler than I am. So if you want some tin to prove here it is, you'll fool like this. I'm having a little hard time finding my own rhythm here. Fuck wheat wraps.
Starting point is 00:42:32 It did like my chopped dicks hit you with my little ass dick. Oh, that little ass dick. Come on, don't worry. You'll get that. That's vestigial. Got a little, got a little, got a little ass dick. Yellow water. Don't want no short ass dick
Starting point is 00:42:46 Don't want, don't want, don't want Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't Yellow water See me go eat jello Never seen someone like you before I can kick you harder Than you can kick me, I'll kick you While I hate Kegelher in a tree
Starting point is 00:43:02 Damn Who wants a taste of my whole long tea ho ha ho ha he oh god every Asian name the phone ends with chin no it doesn't
Starting point is 00:43:18 wait wait I want to see my wang read lips it's not for sale you look pale like some paper I'm a reaper bitch what's up that's all call me quick kid nah nah nah nah i will not nah nah all right man let me bust a little something yeah okay so let me break you off like a kit kat bar i'm at the finish line chilling you can't get that far i'm typing as'm thinking, guess it's a digital freestyle. No time to pause, man.
Starting point is 00:43:47 I'm ripping it me style. When it comes to gear, well, it's nothing fair, actually. I got more lids than a Ziploc Tupperware factory. When I'm walking by, you might hear chicks say, look, because I got nicer steaks than Michael Vick's playbook. And that's like my weakest shit. Damn. Michael Vick's playbook is your weakest shit. Y'all step aside. Sup, people? I'm 13 and people, y my weakest shit. Damn. Michael Vick's playing book is your weakest shit. Y'all step aside.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Sup people, I'm 13 and people, y'all suck. I'm the rap master here. A quick example. I am the rap master. I'll put your body in plaster. To you, I'm a disaster. I like everything that has happened. When I'm finished, y'all will be clapping. That's all I gotta say because I can't get laid. Even then, I then pay.
Starting point is 00:44:24 They refuse. Cause you're on the booze, Lala Rock. Dope. He did. He did. And the winner of the 2016 Rap Olympics. Yeah. That was a rap battle that spanned years.
Starting point is 00:44:43 It went from 2005 to 2006. Oh, great. Jesus Christ. Hang on, man. Rome wasn't fucked in a day. Hang on, man. All right.
Starting point is 00:44:55 So that, wikiHow, obviously, great place for rap. Great place for rap. Perhaps a better place for rap would be Yahoo Answers. Oh, shit. Really? Yeah. Yay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. rap would be um uh yahoo answers oh shit really yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so uh so bunny bread your name is joppy damn right my name is yeah yeah yeah but uh uh i'm i'm uh i'm a i'm a scene stir in the in the yahoo answers community how often should i have rap battles with my girlfriend you all know who this is. I'm looking for
Starting point is 00:45:26 someone to write one of those cool, funky, funky freestyle rap things that kids are always into these days. I need you. Yeah, I need you to write it about a cougar. Older women who seek younger men. Please, not the
Starting point is 00:45:41 animal. Whoever writes the best one will get 10 points! And their freestyle will be posted on my cougar website. Please help me out. If somebody came up to me and said... Tags trending now. Bette Midler, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry. If I was talking to someone and they said I had a cougar website,
Starting point is 00:46:03 the next thing I would do would be dial 911. Because, no, that's not a... All right, Bunny Bread, you got a cougar rap for me? Yo, yo, yo, yo. My name is Kath. I want to tutor you in math. Boy, how old you be? Is you
Starting point is 00:46:28 young enough to be with me? I drive a minivan. I looking for a sexy young man. I want to teach you the ropes. My booty be
Starting point is 00:46:44 needing some gross damn can you cite a source for that rap please I met Kath once and found her to be very inspiring jumpy it was nice to hear Lemon's
Starting point is 00:47:07 Twilight Sparkle voice do a rap This is One more rap From Yahoo Answers And Oh god It starts out with the text This is not a rap battle
Starting point is 00:47:22 Which makes me want to sing this entire thing like this is not a love song. That's what I was just thinking. This is not a rap battle! I'm not even a rapper. Nothing unpleasant about this. Nothing at all unpleasant about this. I'm glad this is happening. Okay, here we go.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Alright, it's time to confess. I'm a total mess. I admit, my words haven't been the best. But now it's time for the test. I'm still white, none more or less. I'm not gonna make it unless I stand up and finally get dressed. It's time to get off this bus. I have to start rapping.
Starting point is 00:48:04 No, excuse. I must. It has to be done. It's time to get off this bus. I have to start rapping. No, excuse. I must. It has to be done. It must. Because it sounds like rust. Parents like my music because I don't cuss. Don't cuss that much. Well, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Starting point is 00:48:20 I just fucking cuss. Now I bet I'm torturous. Yeah, just now. Well, you can't sue me. You can't because I ain't getting off this bus. That's how lawsuits work. Rate from 1 to 10.
Starting point is 00:48:36 Trending now, Harvey Milk. Everybody knows that if you're getting sued, if you run on a bus and yell sanctuary, they can't sue you. It's the law. Only on the oxen free. The subpoenas just burst into flames the moment they cross the threshold. One of the responses is,
Starting point is 00:48:51 I would give it a four, and then he gives us an email address to coach him. I want to be a professional rap coach. That's my new job. His email address is Ghostwriter Confidential. He's a social worker. He's not a rap coach. This guy needs help.
Starting point is 00:49:07 It's like a guitar teacher that you pay $20 and some guy comes over to your house to teach your kid how to rap. Hey, what's up? What is this, the Mickey of rap? It's like, you could have been somebody. Come on, kid. Just use more homophobic slurs. You're going to let Asians get away with that shit? All right.
Starting point is 00:49:30 So that was Yahoo Answers. We're going to move away from there. We're going to be moving on to another site. This one I'm not familiar with. It's called Songbay. Songbay.co It looks like it's a lovely place for
Starting point is 00:49:47 people to post their own lyrics i don't know if it's rap specific i think it might be just all sorts of different lyrics so wait is it bay like the body of water or bay like no it's it's ebay for but for songs oh okay all right uh so uh i think we I think we want to start this off with Jay, and this rap song is called Peppers, comma, Jalapeno No Salt. Okay. It's by Charles Allen, also known as Little Charles Allen. Oh, Little Charles Allen. They call me that because I'm small.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Also, your name is Charles Allen. That helps. Oh, man. Okay. Okay. Also, your name is Charles Allen. That helps. Oh, man. Okay. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:50:31 Can I get a description of you, please? Yeah. So my description is I'm just a man who loves to watch sex videos, watch Stripper, and love nymphs. Similar to that I'm in love with the cocoa. Oh, this actually might be iced tea then. My mood is aggressive, confident, flowing, and happy.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Style, desire. Language, English. I'm loving the ho-ho. I'm loving the strippos. I'm loving sex videos. I'm loving the nymphos. I'm loving them ho-hos like sweet potatoes. I'm loving them strippos. Least no HMO. I'm loving them sex videos. Ain't no less'm loving them strippos Least no HMO
Starting point is 00:51:05 I'm loving them sex videos Ain't no less though Loving them lymphos Nim nim no limp limp Nim nim no limp limp That's the real man The real Joe Put a little cream
Starting point is 00:51:17 On that scream Wrap around my D-ling Sapping that pretty thing Only fifth for my queen Now you sweet potatoes ho-ho If you taking the dinero Give me a little blow Give me a little blow What? glass see how i'm bad i'm tearing that ass i'm bad mf don't need no help now i keep me belt next step go all day bring that pussy and stay dude like me don't play mayday mayday mayday mayday mayday my day my day my day my day ain't no help is like when i see you loving this chocolate delight crispy cream what this nigga bring oh man repeat hook you couldn't you couldn't dodge that one
Starting point is 00:52:06 couldn't i tried i was trying to change them to dudes but okay repeat hook here we go i'll part that wave when you don't shave but if you want this n-word to graze better make sure that ass is bathed but best when i get you laid. Just like looking at the strippers. They don't get no blow. A few dollars, you know. El cheapo, no, no. Just on the right track with the dough. I make the bread. Trying to keep away from the fed.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Taxes. Taxes trying to keep up in the red. Giving pennies till you're dead. Them colorless, all right. But I like some bite, bite. Like that physical fight. Like that brown, red, black spice. No rice, no ice.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Pepper, no salt. Pepper, no salt. Salt, no good on the wood. Jalapeno. That's the way this nigga go. Skin tough, cause I play rough. Jalapeno. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:52:56 Jalapeno. I just love what you said when you tried to later edit it. But if you want this to grab, it's like it was dubbed in after the fact. I mean, it makes me really
Starting point is 00:53:11 uncomfortable to rap and use that word. I can't help it. I understand. You can purchase this song for three pounds. Oh, well. Oh, multi-use license.
Starting point is 00:53:20 You're a little Charles Allen. You're a little Charles Allen. That rap is great. I'm also a little Charles Allen. Oh, okay. You're going to have a little Charles Allen. Lil Charles Allen. That rap is great. I'm also Lil Charles Allen. Oh, okay. Yeah, and this song is called Make Me Work with 7Ks. You make me work. That's like soulmate.
Starting point is 00:53:37 And here's a description of me, which is different than the description of me that we got before when Jay was me. Right, right, right. This is one of my best songs. Actually, you can get two songs out of this one song. Oh, shit. Part one and two. Fill with rhyming words and alliterations and some words I create. You have to listen to the song on www.jango.com
Starting point is 00:53:57 slash music slash little Charles Allen. This song would be a hit song by the right artist. This is a million dollar song. It's just I ain't the right artist, you know. My song. This could be. This is a million dollar song. It's just I ain't the right artist, you know. This could be two songs if you write another song. This is making me work with 7Ks. Alright, here's how it starts.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Hook! Hook. You must watch the entirety of Hook. It's the entirety of Hook. Watch me do it. My TV show, my video. Mucho gusto, no physio.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Perplezio from my girlio. Make a dread... I don't think this guy speaks Spanish. Make a dread strip drop in her perlio. I'd rather tick,
Starting point is 00:54:35 tock, tock. No cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha. Okay, he speaks Spanish. Oh, yeah, yeah. You've got a definite Missy Elliott vibe to you. I think it's really good. A verse one.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Go and slam-bam the honey ham. Shake a good. Verse one. Go and slam bam the honey ham. Shake a bake a chocolate cake. Filet mignon the kitty lawn. Take a sip with the big lip of the honey dip. After sipping, ripping that little pithole. I heave ho mucho the juicy yo. Time to slurp clean the sweet mist crevice. Go on. You know know we're making fun this is prom night here come on we're making fun but this is this isn't that different from young thug i'm just throwing that out yeah
Starting point is 00:55:14 oh yeah like young thug could have written this shit the girl hot steamy ready will party pop peel the back the pussy The sweat smelling nookie Oh ooh ooh With joy jubilation like a winning bookie The girl rises over all over Spreading her thick thighs I glide slipping sliding
Starting point is 00:55:39 On her sweet smelling surprise I hear the moaning groaning On Girl almost ready to blow her top a sweet-smelling surprise. I hear the moaning, groaning on. Girl almost ready to blow her tub. Getting me heated until I was too hot. Need more than a sip. Need to take that old man dip.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Repeat hook! No. Alright, well, I just watched it, but I guess I'll watch it again. Watch me do it, watch me do it, my TV show, my video. Mucho gusto. Pussy. Pussy.
Starting point is 00:56:11 Pussy. Pussy. Oh, pussy. Going to clean wax whip that oozing crack. After I flip-flop her on her back, music had a flip-flop sound. Flippity-floppity. What a flip-flop sound. No loony-toony last in love. We had a loony-toony sound here, too. Just pure primo pleasure by the pint.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Plus impaling, inhaling the treasure. Tick-tock, toasting, roasting that gorgeous clock. No dancing dilly-dally in the park. Doing it on the couch, on the tabletop, light or dark. Just jamming, slam slamming cramming that hairy creamy fuzzy wuzzy peach until i get a spark no cha cha cha no cha cha cha third verse all of a sudden oh no we just watched hook again oh uh okay i'm really getting tired of it now. What? Rufio.
Starting point is 00:57:05 How dare you? You call yourself an American? Going around the clock, sapping, stealing all her energy. Just the beginning of my sensitivity, its entirety. Where she lay limp lane. Twice already on the came. The process of pleasing, pampering that brown cookie begins anew, begins anew,
Starting point is 00:57:29 on that tired, tattle-rattle tender, enjoyable, edible nookie. You'll notice that all the AV techs are turning off all the lights. Your microphone doesn't have any more power in it. That's okay. My rhymes are so hot I don't need a fucking mic
Starting point is 00:57:46 stop the beat dunk in that donut hole with a delicious tight delight delicacy caressing teasing toasting with intimacy waking up for the third time blowing her away until she's almost blind but it's just sleep that crosses her mind. Tire all the wonderful sensation of my stimulation and workulation. No cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha. No cha-cha-cha. No cha-cha-cha. Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Oh, God. Oh, my God. Million dollar song, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. This is a million dollar song. With the right artist. That was agony. No, no.
Starting point is 00:58:33 What if I had 5,000 pounds? No, that's a separate sentence. This song would be a hit song by the right artist, period. This is a million dollar song. Oh, damn. Regardless of artist. Okay, he called it. He called it. All right, so Bunny Bread, your name's Rick Campos.
Starting point is 00:58:47 You're also on the song bay. And would you give me a description of your song, Air in My Lungs? Give me a description of it, please. This is a good song. They can make you very famous if you perform it well. You know, not like I'm going to do. Okay. And what are the genres of your rap?
Starting point is 00:59:09 Well, you know, it's the hip-hop slash rap, general hip-hop and the general raps. General rap? No colonel raps here. No major raps. No. Fuck no. And what moods does your rap have? Well, calm, childlike, cool.
Starting point is 00:59:22 Easy. Childlike. All right. Excellent. All right. Yeah, take it away whenever you're ready. Easy. Childlike. All right. Excellent. All right. Yeah, take it away whenever you're ready. I'm a dog, y'all. I'm a god, y'all.
Starting point is 00:59:32 Spare that rod, y'all. And a nod, y'all. Because I'm right, y'all. Out of sight, y'all. Live like, y'all. A little tight, y'all. Are you surprised, y'all? Are you surprised, y'all? That I turned out all right, y'all? Child of the night, y'all. Up to four, y'all. Goody Mom! Are you surprised, y'all, that I turned out all right, y'all?
Starting point is 00:59:47 Child of the night, y'all. Up to four, y'all. Write some more, y'all. So I can, shit, scroll down some more, y'all. This is the best Goody Mom check. Money galore, y'all. Crystal medicine, y'all. Ice cold weapon, y'all.
Starting point is 01:00:02 That used cold fusion, y'all. Was thought to be an illusion, y'all. I like the sun The apocalypse has begun So hide and run Cause it won't be fun Burn like the air in my lungs Burn like the air in my lungs Burn like the air in my lungs
Starting point is 01:00:18 Burn like the air in my lungs Burn like the air in his lungs Kill a rainbow y'all It'll make the pain go y'all. It'll make the pain go, y'all. I'm unstoppable. Like the U.S., y'all. I'm the superpower that's the truest. If y'all gonna see me do your best,
Starting point is 01:00:35 cause I'm more and more in your list. I'm made of drugs. That don't make no sense. I'm made of drugs. I'm made of drugs. That's actually dope. Literally. Because I'm made of drugs
Starting point is 01:00:52 in the way of wannabe thugs. Give me love and give me hugs. I'm an assault on the senses. Made for all of the chantes. Seeing me is senseless cause you see you just can't
Starting point is 01:01:07 dance this I'm solid like a rock me and my powerful cock make it hot and make it drop make your cock drop yes
Starting point is 01:01:23 and hot I had a cock brawl make my hot cock drop? Yes! And hot. I had a cock brawl. Make my hot cock drop. I let the thing fall out. Drop my cock like it's hot. Best way to sever it. Hot like the sun. The apocalypse has begun.
Starting point is 01:01:39 So hot and run. Cause then what might be fun? Burn like the air on my lungs. and run cause it won't be fun. Burn like an air of my lungs. Burn like an air of my lungs. Burn like an air of my lungs. Burn like an air of my lungs. Kill
Starting point is 01:01:56 a rainbow. Kill like a pango. Oh no. Linkin Park showed up. Popular music that ain't pop. Everything I say is hot. That's why all y'all N-words and bitches talk. Got the game?
Starting point is 01:02:17 Well, shit, it's all locked. I'm the same on top. So shame on y'all, cause you came to fall. Five down and I was made too tall. I laugh at shame on y'all, cause you came to fall. Five nine and I was made too tall. I laugh at what all y'all these nidworts say to ball. Pick up my
Starting point is 01:02:32 phone call. Cause you don't call. You make me feel so small. But my self esteem ain't dependent on you. Although I seem like a dumb fool. You on you. Although I seem like a dumb fool. You? On you? Call,
Starting point is 01:02:48 call, small, fall, tall, you. You? Yeah. Okay. This is written to my dad. Alright. I'm keen and I run school. Teach science lessons to monks too. Hard like the sun.
Starting point is 01:03:04 The apocalypse has begun. So hot and raw. Because it won't be the fall. Burn like the air, my love. Burn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyways, I'm going to kill the rainbow. Because he'll let the rain go.
Starting point is 01:03:23 You thought you knew, but you didn't. You thought you knew, but you didn't. You thought you knew, but you didn't. You thought you knew, but you didn't. Because you thought you knew, but you didn't. End scene. Skrt. Thanks. This is a good song that could make you very famous if you perform it well.
Starting point is 01:03:42 Absolutely. How do you think you did, BunnyBread? I think I did... Is it a million dollars? Yeah, I think I did like a million and a half dollars. Okay. Do you feel famous already? I feel famous. Kill a fucking rainbow then, I guess. Gotta make the pain go away.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Gotta make the pain go. Let's get another one here by Rick Campos. John Toast, you were looking forward to this one. Is that right? Yes, I am. Okay, good. My name is Rick Campos, too. Rick Campos!
Starting point is 01:04:12 And what's your song called? I'm going to move my mic a little. My rap name is MC All Caps. The song is called I Just Popped a Molly. What's it about? Oh, my. All right. Can you give me a description of your song i just popped a molly the moods are epic floating light magical the style is ballad the artist's description is i
Starting point is 01:04:38 popped a molly and wrote this song yes i just popped a Molly. Now I'm feeling jolly. Hardly cocky because I'm rocky. All the hoes jock me. It was fat, full, and blue because of the dye. Am I going to die? I don't think so because I'm so high. I'm fit to touch the sky. Feeling good, no lie.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Now I'm not feeling so shy. Ain't scared of the gross pie. Visualize space time. With closed eyes. Feeling like the world's all mine. And seeing that the girls are fine They can be the whole time I just popped a molly
Starting point is 01:05:10 I just popped a molly I just popped a molly Molly, molly, molly, molly Now I'm feeling jolly Now I'm feeling jolly Now I'm feeling jolly Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly I just popped a molly
Starting point is 01:05:24 Now I'm hot tamale My essence is my folly I'm on the floor crawling Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly. I just popped a molly. Now I'm hot tamale. My essence is my folly. I'm on the floor crawling. I'm on my hands and knees towards your feet. And I'm going to cheat on your lips. With your belly button, do any fluffing. I'm going to put my stuff in.
Starting point is 01:05:36 Get your sweet 10-11. On your essence, I'm grubbing. And when I come down, I'll be sniffing piada on you. You just popped a molly too. When you come down, I'm going to keep you high, boo. Roll over with you like a stone. And I'm you come down I'ma keep you high boo Nice Roll over with you like a stone And I'm feeling glad
Starting point is 01:05:49 That I'm home What you do What you do I just popped a Molly Damn I just popped a Molly Shit I just popped a Molly
Starting point is 01:05:57 What Molly Molly Molly Molly Now I'm feeling jolly Yeah Now I'm feeling jolly What Now I'm feeling jolly Wee
Starting point is 01:06:04 Jolly jolly jolly jolly I just popped ally. Now I'm feeling jolly. Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly. I just popped a molly. Feeling like I'll be just got it. Even though I'm flying, I can feel like I'm falling. And I get the echoes of you calling. Come to me, my sweet darling. I can feel the smile on your face. You amplify my taste.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Ain't got no time to waste. Let us move with haste. I got the energy to chase. I can feel your grace. You're burning hot like mace. Baby us move with haste. I got the energy to chase. I can feel your grace. You're burning hot like mace. Baby, you're on fire. Like your name was Mariah. You're my burning desire. Come get me before I retire.
Starting point is 01:06:34 I just popped a molly. I just popped a molly. I just popped a molly. Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Now I'm feeling jolly. Now I'm feeling jolly. Now I'm feeling jolly. Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly. Now I'm feeling jolly. Now I'm feeling jolly. Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly. Yeah, I just popped a Molly.
Starting point is 01:06:48 Molly. Molly. Molly. Molly. Molly. Molly. Molly. Molly.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Hey, Rick. Yeah? I don't think that was Molly. That would explain a lot. The 11th line of the song is, ain't scared of was Molly. That would explain a lot. The 11th line of the song is, ain't scared of the gross, bye. Ain't scared of the gross, goodbye. I like to think that he just left for an hour and then came back and continued.
Starting point is 01:07:17 I can do this, I can do this, I can write this. I'm not scared of the gross, goodbye. All right. I think we might be due for a trifecta of Rick Campos, because I know that Jay is very excited. Oh, I am. About my story. Yeah, for sure. So how would you describe the song, My Story?
Starting point is 01:07:41 This is my story of how I got to where I am today. It's calm, cool, complex, and eerie, but the style is a celebration. A celebration of life. Here we go. I used to be a normal kid with hopes and dreams. That is until I went to the university. I opened my mind with drugs and hallucinogens. But that was a beginning as well as an end
Starting point is 01:08:05 Next thing I know I'm paranoid Beating my girlfriend So now to her my apologies I send Started hearing voices that claim to be my friends Mostly pretty famous girls Cause that's my favorite trend They told me I was God and the devil in one In the beginning it was really fun
Starting point is 01:08:20 But now I live in a world More than this one Sprung on a voice in my head that calls herself bitch number one mc lou albano because of this i can't keep a job and i have no money but i never was a hater so nobody thinks it's funny i had a lot going for me gonna be successful but being controlled by someone i trust but sure ain't real it sure is stressful the voice of my head is the last one left but but she stole my heart, and it's theft. She claims to be my soulmate,
Starting point is 01:08:48 communicating from another dimension, and she's beautiful because I've seen her in hallucinations. This I must mention. I sprung on myself, and I don't really mind. I want to believe what I want, and still be fine, because I got a lot to offer in this life. I could rule the world with a sharper edge than a knife. I could fix the economy crazy as I am
Starting point is 01:09:04 cool-headed, and my opinion is is valuable even though I drink gasoline unleaded It's not weird and to me I'm normal It's just that my beliefs They are unformal I could be the one to unite science and religion I have a perfect beautiful vision And I have a mission that in order to meet my soulmate I must fulfill
Starting point is 01:09:20 So I picked up a paper and quill And got ready to thrill Everyone who listens and everyone who must listen to this incision of communication. Cause when you're done, you'll all be here. I'm your voice in my head and you'll all be either crazy like me or you'll be dead. I want to be your,
Starting point is 01:09:34 all your daily bread. I quit all drugs to the death. Now I smoke a cigarettes, but they're the reason I'll be dead, dead, dead, dead, dead,
Starting point is 01:09:43 dead. Oh boy. Oh, boy. If you sing raps from the internet, you'll go to hell before you die. I'm on Rick Campos' YouTube channel at the moment. Yeah, tell me more. Rick Campos has like 150 videos of his own raps here. Oh, no. This one isn't on here.
Starting point is 01:10:05 Although one of his first uploads is a song called Ass to Ass. Ass to Ass. How is Ass to Ass spelled? Is it A-Z-Z? No. It does not have the number two either. Shit.
Starting point is 01:10:22 Hate this guy. Alright. He's since changed his name to Rick the Demigod oh wow alright one of his most recent raps is called House Full of Mirrors by Son Goku alright this is the very last song that we have on offer here
Starting point is 01:10:46 and it is called Conservative Politician. Oh! Hello. Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. Hell of a fucko. Fuck you, yeah, I guess I'll do what you tell me. Now I remember why I say
Starting point is 01:11:02 wake for this shit. Alright. I guess I'll do it, you tell me. Now I remember why I say, you know, wake for this shit. Yeah, so based on the belief of a corrupt government, the lyrics were written from the point of view of a politician speaking to the nation. The moods are energetic, positive, and proud. The styles are action-adventure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This rap is my favorite NES game.
Starting point is 01:11:30 And patriotic. Here we go. My aim is to leave the country in a state as I launch my next assault on the prostate of the people. Forging my way into their minds. Oh god, you're off track.
Starting point is 01:11:47 Making sure I am all they find when they go searching, looking for answers or for a prayer. All they'll find is me. I'm there. Am there. Me, I'm there. I'll find this me, I'm there.
Starting point is 01:11:59 Me, I'm there. They'll implement tax upon their life. Illinois. Increase the stress upon their kids and wife. They'll get a hobby. A distraction. They'll make it illegal. Ha ha! The satisfaction. Illinois.
Starting point is 01:12:11 What is Illinois always doing? Illinois, you know how they do. Watching people burn with no concern. I'm the boss. They GTA learn. Illinois make the children go to school. Mold, as in Bob Mold, their mind.
Starting point is 01:12:28 My way, make them a fool. Teach them the power of the hierarchy tower. I'm near the top, holding your life in my hands, and I'm ready to drop. Ready to let go of what I hold. Millions are crushed, but I get gold. I'm sure you will all understand why I sold your life. I can't believe the masses don't
Starting point is 01:12:52 see through the lies. Happy to let us poison the skies. Keeping you in a place with acts of terror. Can't even catch us when we show you the errors. You won't make a decision. You don't know the facts.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Counting all the money, you won't believe me. They're stacks. I get warned the public would overflow. Throw, overflow, over, over. I've got too many jowls to wrap. My jowls are dangling in on each other. But I'm still waiting for your balls to grow. To the people who believe in communism
Starting point is 01:13:25 it's here you're all the same no vision this is MC Alex Jones signing out Infowars.com Hillary for prison you could have done that Rat Spear I like the hype man there
Starting point is 01:13:40 not for that many verses I like the hype man there that just yelled out conspiracy shit. Oh, that was me. Popping up in rap songs being like, loose change. MKUltra. Tuskegee. Jet fuel can't be steel beam. Roswell, y'all.
Starting point is 01:14:02 So. Steel beams. Selling crack to destroy the white race. Wait. Rothschilds. Cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck. Dillberg. Dillberg.
Starting point is 01:14:16 So, F+, what did we learn from this garbage? Fuck all. I was born with rhythm. Definitely. That's how Canadians do. You brought serious heat there, Boots. Yeah, born with rhythm. Definitely. That's how Canadians do. You brought serious heat there, Boots. He's an informer. Thanks, Lemon.
Starting point is 01:14:31 Yeah, you are an informer. And Licky Boom Boom now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You whipped off me bloomers, whipped up me bottom. Yeah, yeah. Summit up. Damn. Licky Boom Boom down.
Starting point is 01:14:44 You know how it is. Anything else that we learned? I learned that when people write raps on the internet, I don't think they ever say them out loud first. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I second that. Because, yeah, I thought maybe, like,
Starting point is 01:14:57 I think I mentioned it earlier. Who knows what made it to the episode. But, like, okay, poetry. Poetry is fucking everything, and people suck at it. But, like, rap, it's like you have to say that shit over a beat. You'd think people would be like, oh, these are too many words, like just looking at it. Nope, nope, it's, pack it in.
Starting point is 01:15:12 It's all there. Pack it up and pack it in. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's, we talked about this before in like poetry episodes, but it's like, what the fuck, what were you listening to? Like like what is your frame of reference like there's like there's a lot of rap battles out there that were there don't
Starting point is 01:15:29 actually have the beats underneath there's just kind of like uh spitting whatever the hell you want sure and you just end on an insult and you're fine right it doesn't really matter up until that point these guys probably didn't listen to that shit regardless so i'm bringing it up yeah i just wanted to try to be nice and that this is the place where we're nice right yeah i just i don't know i'm just i'm very confused at just like what your frame of reference for like for for all of these people if i were to go like what's rap music like what like okay what would come to their mind so for the first section that was the battle rap section if you ask question, it would definitely be dudes on rooftops, like in Windbreakers, yelling homophobic slurs at each other with no beat. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:12 That's called Xbox Live, baby. Hell yeah. All day. All day. The perception of a rapper that Acier had in that one episode where it was just some guy crossing his arms going yo yo yo yo the whole time. That's how I pictured every one of these people.
Starting point is 01:16:32 It's them and their heart. And you're here to say you love whatever in a somethingly way. Yeah, this was fun and uh similar to uh the f plus uh rap or similar to the f plus things uh on thefpl.us uh we will have the actual audio um so if anyone wants to try to turn this into a song good luck good luck. God bless you. Some of us had metronomes running in the background and it didn't help a fucking bit.
Starting point is 01:17:09 Some of us didn't. I tried a metronome for the first time in my life and I'm not sure it helped. There's only so much you can do with the material you're given. Well, your shit was poetry. That's true. We'll have some remixes.
Starting point is 01:17:24 If you do a remix, maybe I'll give you something. And Ball Pit is a website, and that's cool. Don't be a piece of shit. Go to Ball Pit. That's right. That's right. Yeah. The internet make you want to quit?
Starting point is 01:17:40 Hey, fuck that. Go down to Ball Pit. Oh, my name is Boots, and I'm here to say you should spend $10 today. In a major way. Yeah. Yeah, spend $10 on Ball Pit, and then donate $10 to the Patreon of I Don't Even Know Television, and then all your entertainment is paid for. Yes, please.
Starting point is 01:17:58 Bye-bye. And then throw $10 into the air. Riff Raff will find it. Why did y'all just throw $10 in the air? I felt it with my vision. I licked the air and I could feel it. Are you guys mocking Riff Raff? You sons of bitches.
Starting point is 01:18:22 You bastards. He was born without a brain. Once again, the F Plus Raps is your opportunity to remix the F Plus. I've got the split audio files posted on this episode's page on the F Plus website. On the F Plus website, you can find the F Plus Raps on the FPL.us page. And similar to the F Plus Sings episode, that's number 151 if you're unfamiliar, I'd love for people to try their hand at making something out of them. F Plus Live is coming up soon, I'm printing up t-shirts for it, so I'll probably be able to give away a couple of these when they're ready.
Starting point is 01:18:54 Thanks for listening, this is the 80s, and I'm down with the ladies.

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