The F Plus - 230: Huge Hoops Hard Dudes
Episode Date: October 16, 2016The men of HoopFetish.com are sexually excited by hoop earrings. And it's okay if you don't trust me on this, because they've written a number of words themselves to support this claim. We're goi...ng to be taking a look at the men in this community, and perhaps learn a little bit about the exasperated women that couple with them. This is the beauty and colors of life for women and men, for both sexes.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Read about hoop earrings now.
Beep.
These men are turned on by weird things.
Beep.
Wow.
I don't think you should have hired that voice actor to read that book.
They always sounded super distorted.
They were always on audio tape.
I think maybe you have a shitty record player.
Hoop fetishes as read by Mumbly Joe.
All right, all right, all right. I think I'm a 25. Poop fetishes as read by Mumbly Joe Alright, alright, alright
I think I'm a 25
I've been driving all night
My hand's wet on the wheel
There's a voice in my head
That drives my heel
It's my baby calling
Says I need you here
And it's a half past four
And I'm shifting gear
Get your ears open, listeners.
This is the F Plus Podcast.
A terrible place.
There's terrible things.
They're red with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Rain Gear.
It is also one of my interests to finger a guy's ear canal
and have mine own fingered.
Usually occurring from a wet willy or a poke
that's all in good fun, but I don't know.
John Toast? Sounds like a great
time, except for the part with the husband.
Frank West! I like
the idea of cutting my partner and sucking
blood from her, but I have heard a lot of
horror stories from people doing things like this.
Yes, Fahan?
I'm from Quebec. Excuse for my poor English
and French use of language. I like girl with ears
all kinds, especially pierced.
Mmm, so sexy. Bye-bye.
And Lemon.
I've inherited an abnormally large head from my Japanese heritage.
Thus, I have a special need to wear large earrings,
which help dwarf my head size closer to that of an average human being.
Sometimes I wish I was never born.
How does that work?
You've got a really large... No, no,
I guess it is proportional, actually.
Because you have a giant earring, so, you know.
Of course.
She sends her comfort
coming in from above
We don't need no letter at all
We've got
a thing that's called
what I love We've got a thing that's cold, but I know We've got a light in the sky
Hey, F-Plus.
Hey, Lemon.
Hey, Lemon.
Hi, Lemon.
How is everyone doing today?
Outstanding.
I'm annoyed.
Hmm.
Very frustrated.
Oh, no.
Okay, well, we'll get to you being outstanding in a moment, Isfahan,
but, The Boots, I want to find out why you're so frustrated. Oh no. Okay. We'll get to you being outstanding in a moment, Isfahan, but the boots, I want to find out why you're
so frustrated. Oh, I tried
to buy a thing from IBM and they were fucking
assholes. Okay. Alright.
Do you want to talk about it? Should this be
the podcast instead? No.
I just wish I had a place to
vent out my anger.
You don't. We didn't do that document.
The one that you're thinking of?
Oh my god. The one that you're thinking of? Oh my god.
The one that you're thinking of? We're not doing that.
I closed the wrong fucking document page.
You know what, Lemon?
That reminds me of hoop earrings for some reason.
I'm sure it does.
And I was thinking of hard dudes as I normally do.
Fuck this. I'm leaving it.
Yeah, so as you point out,
this document is called
Huge Hoops
Hard Dudes.
It is a document provided by Spooks.
And
I want to start
off with a sentence directly from the
document from Spooks, if I may.
Aren't hula hoops just like
so incredibly hot?
You agree, right? Well, go and shove your hula hoops just like so incredibly hot you agree right well go and shove your hula hoops right
where the sun don't shine this document's not about that at all you creepy weirdo i'm relieved
so this is a document uh about hoop earrings oh uh it is about fans of hoop earrings and um
things and and and you know hoop earrings and the men who love them.
I'm going to assume it's men.
I mean, that's definitely proven out in, like, the Watch Fetish episode.
So I'm just going to assume that the fan base is primarily male.
And, you know, if I'm proven wrong, you know, I'll take that.
Yeah.
I'm guessing the difference between female and male hoop earring fans.
Like, female is like, ooh, I love those hoop earrings Like, female is like, ooh, I love those hoop earrings.
Whereas male is like, ooh, I love those hoop earrings.
Hey, Lemon, can I take just a little bit of a distraction from our talk here?
Yeah.
What I like most about your new microphone is that I can tell when you're gesticulating with your glass of beverage.
Because the sound of the ice clanking is really getting picked up on it.
I'm not saying it's a problem.
I think it's a feature of the podcast.
I just can now visualize exactly what your arm is doing when you're talking.
That's nice.
That's nice.
We're going to be visiting a site called hoopfetish.com.
Cut and write to the chicks. We're going to be visiting a site called hoopfetish.com. But before we...
Cut and write to the chase.
But before we go there, actually, before we cut to that chase, we're going to be going to Is It Normal?
It's a website we did a long time ago.
There's a couple features on Is It Normal?
Spoilers for that episode.
The answer is no.
Yeah.
The top of the page says, check out our friends at
Trailer Inhaler.
What?
The best new movie trailers on Shuffle.
Just like in the theater. Oh, that's less interesting.
Just don't.
Yeah, yeah.
Of all the things that Trailer Inhaler could be,
I'm really bored. Look at the mobile home
odor fetish.
Asthmatic redneck.
Smells like cigarettes and used condoms.
Anyway, yeah, is it normal?
A site that we've done before, and it is a site where people simply ask the thing that they think or feel or get turned on by, is it normal?
So, John, if you'll start us off here with your question.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
Is it normal?
I have ear fetish.
I have a strange fetish for ears.
I like to hold ears and feel it, smell it, licking, nibbling it.
I cannot sleep at night without imagining a girl's ears,
be it thin or fat ears.
Pools, help me on this.
Okay, well, let's find out.
So far, your thing is 57% normal.
Oh, good.
But we have some answers, such as Earhole.
Yeah, hi.
I don't know if you can tell from my name,
but I have an ear finish, too.
I would never have guessed.
What's that, you ask? What I like?
Well, I like to see woman's ear with sexy earrings.
I like more than one ear hole in a ear.
I like to see big earrings, they sexy swinging in her holes.
I like to see her playing with her earrings
and that it hurts her
a little. When I was
y'all, I have wet dreams
about a ear of a girl.
She have not many
times get in earrings
and her holes be a little
close from
her. I may make the
hole open. That makes me so hot and wet
i would like to feel the pain to make a hole in my ear slowly with a needle i did it by myself
many times yo what's up? I'm Manny Times.
Who can help me with this fetish?
Is it normal?
What do you mean help you with the fetish?
How would you like to be helped?
I have no further information.
I believe there are places specifically for helping him with this fetish.
They put them in rooms for that.
And then, Frank, you are ears for me?
Ears for me!
Yay!
I like ears in every way.
The sight, smell, taste, feel.
I love them in headphones, or with headphones in them.
Ooh, headphones in...
Okay, no, okay, I sort of understand.
I love to see ears in a box.
I love to see ears with a fox. I love to see ears with a fox.
I doubt many women feel the same way.
If there are any out there,
comment on here. I'd like to meet you.
As someone who is
definitely a woman.
Yep.
Here comes all the sex
for you, buddy.
Hey, I love ears, and i'm love ears hi i love yours too and i'm really mad about it
sorry i'm really mad about it i don't know how to feel i like to touch and feel it even licking it. Even earwax smells good to me. Glad to know
I'm not alone in this. I just
can't figure out
my obsession with ears.
My girlfriend
just couldn't stand me kissing her
ears, and I think
I nibble her ears as if I
am making love to it.
Okay, okay, honey,
we're going to go in for a normal kiss this time, okay?
Okay, normal kiss. Normal kiss.
I've done this before. I've got it.
Don't start going to the side of my head.
God damn it!
Just grabs her head and turns it 90 degrees.
Cookie monsters all over the side of her head.
My name is Clicket Plus.
I wrote this five years ago I love to click my ears
I love how my girlfriend clicks my ears
Reading all of this ear talk
Makes me want to click my ears
What is that?
I never knew others were into ears
As much as click it plus.
What does that mean?
Maybe it's like you're snapping next to their ears.
That's my only guess.
Maybe flicking ears.
You can kind of like bend the cartilage sometimes.
Maybe it's kind of like popping on the mic.
Giving social media hits to their ears.
Play ear clicker.
No, I'm Steve.
I love to click through my ears.
Hey, y'all.
I'm Big Ears.
Oh, hey, Big Ears.
Do you have an ear fetish?
Hey, I have an ear fetish, too.
Oh.
I love big stick-out ears.
So Big Ears likes big ears.
Interesting. I'm a likes big ears. Interesting.
I'm a simple man with simple tastes.
I like
to pin them back and watch them
flick forward and pull them.
I used to have big ears
but had to have them pinned back
because of all the bullying.
Sounds like you
still pin them back.
I don't know.
Not sure about the timeline here.
Are you a bully?
You seem like a little bit of a bully there as well.
Well, when he started reading, my hands just balled into fists on their own.
Sure, sure, sure.
There's a little bit more of Is It Normal?
But we have other things that we're going to get to.
So I want to leave you with this list of titles
that Spooks found while he was searching
isn't normal for related content.
List of titles is
Headphone Fetish?
Ever met a girl with pretty ears?
Is it normal to
orgasm from cleaning rubbing inside
ears? Written by a real woman.
Is it normal
that things touching me turn me
out?
Well, it depends
on what things.
Really, really depends.
Well, in that case,
is it normal that my sister dresses
as a baby?
Is she a baby?
Yeah, she dresses herself every
morning.
What a precocious baby.
And
finally, barking during sex.
So I googled
ear-clicking fetish, and the only
thing I got was, is it normal.com?
They've got the market
cornered. It's ground zero.
Yeah.
We are
going to be having a quick
visit in the Wayback
Machine
to a site
from Tripod dot com.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is
likeglass55 dottripod.com.
It's a website about hoop earrings.
The cover image or the banner image says hoops in Comic Sans with some ladies in there.
So I'm a little confused on this whole hoop site. Ismahan,
this site I'm looking at
right here, this lightglass55.tripod.com,
what is this site about?
Well,
girls who enjoy life and like to
wear large hoop earrings and the guys
that love them. This is a G-rated site
intended for fun. No, it's
not.
I hate that so much. It's a perfectly safe fetish site.
That's all.
Yeah, yeah.
Look.
Hoop earrings are the original earrings.
It's where the term ear ring comes from.
They have always been an indicator that the wearer is a fun-loving free spirit.
Guys know this, and that is why hoops have always been popular.
Right now, we are in the middle of or a resurgence of wearers.
Does this mean people are happier? I think it's a good
sign, Winky Face. Wow.
Is your picture here by mistake? This is like
the upward surge of the evolution of mankind?
This tripod site? Yeah, this is where
it began. Oh, man.
That's great. Okay, that's what the
site's about, okay? Okay.
Here's what this site is not about.
Oh, okay.
Some people think any site about
girls and something they wear is a fetish
or porn site. That was not
my intent when creating this site.
Okay.
Your honor.
Now sit still while I doth protest
too much.
A fetish is defined as an attraction
to an object in which the object itself is the object of attraction.
In other words...
Okay, yeah, no, I mean other words.
Yeah, I felt that.
Everyone knows definitions are awkward.
In other words, some guy that has a draw full of earrings...
It's playing the jackpot.
Yeah.
And is attracted to that draw
would have an earring fetish.
Alright, everything clear now?
No.
Moving on.
A girl that dresses herself
in a cute black dress,
high heels,
big earrings,
or anything else like that
is using those objects
to accent things
about her personality.
So see, if you like women,
you have fetish about everything that touches
or is in their vicinity, then.
That's how that works.
Yes.
Her intent is not to collect a bunch of guys
that want those objects.
Right, he doesn't have a fetish for hoop earrings.
He has a fetish for hoop earrings that are being worn.
Although, admittedly, our logo picture is a bit over the top.
Yeah, I agree with that.
It is more the personality of wearing big
hoops that the site is directed at.
Okay, so
you know how I said all that about it not being a fetish
and not being like a fetish-oriented site?
No, yeah, you convinced me. I'm on board.
Not a fetish. Yep.
This site has a photo gallery.
We are always looking for new pictures.
Admittedly, again, the more over the top
the better.
We are not looking for our pictures Admittedly again, the more over the top the better We are not looking for Our pictures of naked women or anything of a sexual nature
Right, right, right
Therefore it's not a fetish, checkmate
Nudity is not involved, it's not a fetish
We also have a story section
It is hard to keep sexual references
Totally out of them
Just saying, you know
It can't help it
As it is part of
life. But stories
that use it strictly for shock sake
or use profanity
or we receive complaints about will be
removed.
The forums were created to help sort the feedback
we receive in the form of capital E
emails. The same rules
apply here. We do have one thread about
some sexual side effects some wearers have.
What?
It's probably the largest thread on that phone.
I don't get wet anymore?
I don't understand.
I'm wet all the time.
Of course, of course.
But we are trying our best to keep it going
and not let it slip into something
nasty as it appears to be a valid
side effect and is downright interesting.
It sure is.
I've never heard of fetishists taking over
the culture of a website before.
This is Oz now.
This is Oz now?
It's Hoop Oz?
Hoop Oz, yes.
I hope you enjoy
this site and viewer feedback is always welcome.
This site, I hope you enjoy this site and your feedback is always welcome this site likeglass55.tripod.com
has a whole bunch of
correspondents
people that write to the site
because long ago that's how this happened
was that somebody put a site up
and then people would email
that is no longer the case but that used to be the case
for those of you listening to the podcast who are under 15 and then people would email. That is no longer the case, but that used to be the case.
For those of you listening to the podcast who are under 15.
And for those of you listening to the podcast who are under 15, stop!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, I would hate to think that, like... I would hate to think that this broke you.
Or just, like...
Or that, like, you had, like, a generally positive view of humanity,
and then you discovered the F+.
Well, it was bound to happen soon.
If not us, somebody else.
I suppose.
Anyway, this is page 5
of the correspondence, which is why it's
thread007e.html.
But, Boots,
your name is Hoop Lover, and you've
written to this website. Sure is.
And I sure have.
I've always been a big
lover of hoops. Only wish
I could have been a girl where I
could have wore them.
My wife wears them for me when I
want her to.
I love to see women out there
with the huge diameter
hoops on. It is such
a turn on for me to see them.
My wife's biggest are about four inches in diameter.
I would love to see some bigger in her if I could.
Oh, dear.
Bigger in her.
Not a fetish.
Not a fetish.
Also, I've got this to say.
I would love to see Katie Couric wearing the biggest hoops she could find.
Yep.
Even thought she is older, she is still awesome.
She needs to stay young at heart, and for God sacks, get some big hoops in her ears.
God sacks.
Hoop earrings, like all the kids wear.
I'm not the one who's so fine.
And now we are going to correspondence.
Well, it's either correspondence page 7 or correspondence page 8, depending on what part of the page you look at.
Oh, yep.
But Frank West, your name is Nicole.
Nicole.
I have been watching my namesake, Nicole Kidman, wearing huge earrings on all of these shows for the last year.
Now I find this site
and it has turned my whole view of this
upside down.
All these years, I have seen
the rich and famous wearing big
earrings and thought it was about glamour.
Now I find out about
this sexual stuff.
Sexual stuff? Not from this site
you have it.
Hold on, lady.
The guy from that other site pops in and is like,
Need I remind you?
What a joke on us regular folk.
They're getting off on it.
If this is all true,
she must have been near-orgasmic
wearing that pair that were almost twisting her ears off.
Yeah, no, you're wrong about how the fetish works.
Yeah, that's not how it works.
You're projecting.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's the transient property of fetish.
Oh.
I project my fetish onto you and it makes you come.
I see no point in letting them have all the fun.
I am off to my local shop.
Oh, that's what you needed to give yourself an excuse.
It's like, this is how I got into it.
I wasn't like this already.
Just knowing looks at the confused cashier,
I'd like your biggest hoop
earrings.
Okay, they're right here.
Oh my,
you don't even keep them in a lockbox.
This is
a scandalous store.
My name's James.
Is anyone here particularly aroused by a woman wearing two large silver hoops in each ear?
Personally, I think it's overdoing it.
Although, I do find two medium or small hoops in each ear
particularly arousing.
So,
is anyone turned on by this? Well, then,
you're pervs.
Also, is anyone
here else from the UK?
Probably not.
Do you want to chat from home?
How about forming a
hoop earrings fan club for the UK?
Or the US for that matter.
This is a time in the internet where everything feels so quaint.
Like forming a fan club.
It's like pre Skype shit.
Yeah.
And then our,
our last correspondence here is from page 11.
And, oh, yeah, no, okay, yeah.
Boots, you need to take J there.
This is all the way from 2006.
We're going way in the future.
I do need to take J.
I have the biggest crush on a hot girl who often wears large hoops.
I tried to be her boyfriend.
She was not interested in me,
but we have become friends.
Okay.
When I see her in hoops,
I get a weak in the knees sensation.
She looks so good
that sometimes I feel like I'm going to faint.
When I take her out to lunch,
she tells me about going out to the clubs with the girls, the guys that
picking on, that
pick up on her. Yeah, the guys that pick up
truck on her, yep. The guys that pick up
on her. And the
times that she has gone home
with guys. When I
see her big hoops, they're very
symbolic to me.
Okay.
Her hoops are telling me that she is sexual yet i know she will never be
sexual with me yeah yeah i yeah i know that as well i know that as well because every time you
go out with her she's like yeah i fucked this other guy and then i fucked this other guy all
of the not you people i'm fucking all the time this sense, her hoops have turned her into an unobtainable goddess in my eyes.
God, I can't wait until Reddit starts.
I'd like to imagine the...
It's like a show where only friends go.
I'd like to imagine the guy who wrote that.
This is not a fetish blurb.
This is like over the years, 2002 to 2005,
just realizing he's slowly losing control of
his sight to the people he said didn't
exist. He's just been
holding on to that floodgate the whole time.
Yeah, there's like one shot of him writing that
up and he looks like totally calm and collected
his clothes are normal. It's like, oh, okay, well, that'll
settle it. Everything's cool now.
Smash cut to three years later and and he's got, like, a
five o'clock shadow, an
ashtray full of cigarettes,
beer bottles everywhere, just like, oh, fuck.
It's a cartoon dog in a burning
apartment saying, this is not a fetish.
Yeah.
Hello. Hi. Love your
site. Too bad
a lot of the content is not online
at the moment. The too old or too hot for a G-rated site stuff, you know what I mean?
You would not happen to have all the archived content in a zip file somewhere that you could send me.
You know, for archival reasons.
Smiley face.
I include a very short video that I think you'll like.
Her name is Joss Stone. This is
from her music video, You Had Me.
This is my favorite scene, but there
are many other nice hoop sequences in the
complete video. Semicolon. I
recommend it to all hoop lovers.
And
then I explain what Divix is.
Not to date us any further,
but
I'm sure you'll make it available for Not to date us any further, but...
But I'm sure you'll make it available for fellow hoop lovers.
Bye, Mark.
This was just a DivX advertisement to all the hoop people out there.
It's a flashback to 2005 when watching a video on the internet required...
You had to prepare for it, yeah.
Alright, and that is enough foreplay.
You had to prepare for it, yeah.
All right, and that is enough foreplay. It is time to skip right into the HoopFetish.com website.
HoopFetish.com is a forum.
I actually almost said popular forum, but thankfully that is not the case.
And, yeah, so we're going to start off here.
My name is C.
And I want to tell you about the thing that annoys me, okay?
Okay. So the thing that annoys me is when you check out a girl's lobes.
Am I the only one that does this?
To see if she is pierced.
You notice she is, but she's not
wearing earrings. Or
when she's maybe
wearing one pair,
but you can see her lobes are pierced
say three or four times.
I just think you went through
all the trouble to get them pierced
multiple times!
The cleaning, the healing time,
why aren't you wearing earrings in them?
Just shaking her shoulders.
She just did earring tease at that point.
Can any ladies answer this for me?
And then Boots, you are H-lover?
I'm H-lover.
H-lover.
H-lover.
Yeah, I get where you're coming from oh thank god sometimes you just can't help
wondering what she'd look like with some hoops on
exactly it's kind of uh have you given up on earrings sometimes i'll notice a girl in an
office where when i'm working and she'll be wearing the usual studs of tiny hoops that tend to wear at work.
But if I have a good look, I can see her lobes are a little stretched, and she has maybe three or more holes, all of which are open and obviously used regularly.
Oh, yeah.
Would you dress differently at work or something?
Yeah.
This makes me think she's a secret multi-pierced mega-hoop wearer.
It's the thing that annoys me.
And the thing that annoys me is a user by the name of Fedora.
It's fine if you'll take that, please.
Hmm.
I think wearing hoops should be mandatory if you have your ears pierced.
Oh, my God.
Hell, let's make it mandatory that girls have their ears pierced three times with hoops in each hole.
Wow.
Yeah, good.
Good.
I can't wait for your hentai visual novel.
I'm sure it's going to be really good.
I'm stroking my beard in contemplation currently.
All right.
Whoever has a response to that.
Okay, okay.
Well, personally, I hate studs.
Actually, I think hate is an understatement.
Oh, my God.
They are the absolute ultimate turnoff for me.
Really? Really? god they are the absolute ultimate turnoff for me really really of all like of all the things
that exist in the world yep stud earrings are the biggest turnoff here's here's my yeah here's the
beginning and the end of the list of the things i like and dislike okay It starts with hoop earrings. It ends with stud earrings.
We're going to be moving away from that thread
to another thread called Hoop Fantasy.
And Frank West,
your name is Madison Hoops.
You're from the US, and I'm pretty
sure you're a real woman.
My name is Madison Shoops.
Oh.
Shoop-a-doop.
Shoop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop.
Look how Frank West gets all the real women.
Hey, Frank West, what's your weakness?
What is my weakness?
Men.
Yeah.
Okay, then.
It's okay.
You're a shotgun bang.
What's up with that thing?
I was not going to.
I just want to know how it does it.
Anyway. I think want to know how it does it hang. Anyway.
I think you better shoot.
Accidentally, I feel asleep with tiny huge silver hoops.
Uh-oh, the fetish have started to move.
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
You wake on the middle of the night and notice how beautiful and sexy I look laying there in innocence.
You look at all parts of me, but cannot take your eyes off my ears.
There was something about the weight of the large hoop that gently tugged my ear.
Your eyes concentrated on the circle, going from one hole all around to the back of my ear.
circle, going from one hole all around to the back of my ear.
The bar that rested so peacefully
through my hole got you excited enough
to come over to me and gently
pull it back and forth.
Okay. Okay.
So, just... Okay. I've never
had my ears pierced. Yeah. I assume
that, like, you wouldn't want
to, like... Oh, my piercing.
I want to stud-fuck
that. That's great. Well, that's fuck that that's great that would be a huge turn
off oh yeah that's your earring fucking gross i'm sorry i'm sorry just to give uh perhaps context
maybe context um uh we are in hoop fetish.com uh subforum hoop earrings what the fuck subforum hoop earrings what the fuck that's a subforum
subforum hoop dreams
which I believe was like
the hoop fetish erotica
can we talk about
the subforums on this site
what would you like to talk about
okay so there's the hoop earrings section
there's the other earrings section
there's the other fetishes section. There's the other earring section. There's the other fetishes section.
I just want to read what encapsulates all of the other fetishes.
Yes, please.
Okay.
There's bondage, corsets, leather pants, schoolgirl uniforms, shoes and boots, smoking, tattoos, and vampires.
That's all the other fetishes.
Yeah, that's all the other fetishes
vampires has, and I'm not just talking
about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Well, we assume.
Hey, Boots, are there any other accessories
that this community finds erotic?
Sure. Anklets,
bangles,
glasses, necklaces,
rings, and other piercings
wow what an eclectic
collection of uh
fetishes there
do you think that like
the members of this community
have to have like
five different accounts
for like all of their
weird different sub fetishes
like okay
well this takes care
of the earring shit
um
but then there's the
left sock thing that I gotta take care of,
so I'll go to this site for that.
Yeah, it's a good thing I'm such a big anklet fetish,
because this is the place I can go to.
Let's see how many posts there are.
Oh, there's zero posts.
Oh.
There's one post in Bangles.
Anyway, sorry.
Anyway.
Should you wake me up or let me sleep?
Quietly you nibbled on my ear.
So, wake you up.
He's, you know,
surreptitiously nibbling.
Feeling and hearing
the metal in your mouth drove you crazy.
You noticed my ears turning slightly pink
from your biting.
No, no, go back.
What are your ears doing?
You notice my ears tearing
slightly pink from your biting.
My ears are actually robots.
Sunday
I wake up
and jump on top. Excited
as you, you see my large hooops move back and forth faster and slower.
Am I the only one who thinks this is hot?
This is a story that I wish would come true.
I think it's really hot and exciting.
Want to chat with me?
And H-Lever?
Definitely hot.
That's really hot I hope that will happen to me
someday but when she wakes up
that doesn't mean we will get out of bed
I think winky face
some
adult things will happen
if that happens to me someday
because we weren't already
talking about adult
things happening. I get the feeling adult things
have never happened to you, me, myself, and I.
I had no idea what you're talking about.
Yes, adult things
must happen to end story. I just
don't want to be too dirty.
Wow, you're so coy.
I can make this come true for you,
Madison Shoop.
I am single.
So single.
And I have a fetish for when women wear hoop earrings and wide belts.
Oh, shit, you're in luck, Madison.
Somehow, on the hoop fetish forum, you found a single man with a fetish for hoops.
You're so lucky.
You stepped on a landmine of romance.
I think the real tell that this is from the past of the internet
is that everybody's using either private
messages on this forum or MSN
messengers.
Actually, Hotmail addresses.
Hey, I found
this in Bangles. What did you find in
Bangles?
My idea
of heaven would be a girl wearing large
silver hoops and silver bangles.
Get my dick pumped up!
Sadly, my wife doesn't share my enthusiasm for hoops and bangles.
Maybe I need to try that hypno trick.
Lol.
That's creepy.
That's gross.
I am going to skip past somebody perving on a woman that works at Ubisoft
into a thread called Twitter.
My name is...
Hmm.
Gavuner?
Gavuner.
Gavunar.
Yeah, anyway, just a thought.
Why doesn't our site have its own Twitter page?
Surely this would be an ideal way to, here we go,
directly ask the celebrities we are so desperate to see in group earrings to wear them.
This will be great, right?
We won't get banned, will we?
Actually, we probably won't get banned.
That's the sad thing. They'll just get blocked.
And then, Isvan, what does
Lather think about that?
What a terrible username.
Could be a risky move
as asking questions like that could
make us sound like a bunch of dangerous weirdos and attract unwanted attention.
I'd say it would be a bad idea to do something like that, as it risks giving people the wrong impression of us.
I mean, we wouldn't want people thinking we got boners over poop fetishes.
No, no, no, there's no sort of, like, outward perviness happening
over there, is it?
Not that I can tell.
Everybody I know
talks about this stuff.
Yeah, exactly.
We're gonna skip past a thread
called Hoops in Photoshop Editing,
which I enjoy, a title,
but into another title that I enjoy
even more.
And that title is HypnoStuff!
And I think, John, if you'll start us off here, HypnoStuff, your name is the director.
You have a very high post count of 13.
Hi, hello. My name is Thed Erector.
Hoops have brought me more joy over the last few years, and I can say I have a close friend, Lori.
So to speak.
She is a beautician and into massage, so looks, etc. are uber important to her.
Ages ago, she had her right ear pierced a second time, which looked brilliant. But she always
only wears subtle little diamond
studs. They look cute, of course, but you can't
see them much because she has long-ish hair and wears
it down.
Damn it! Damn it!
When she had
this new piercing, she talked to me about
earrings for a few minutes and mentioned she didn't like
hoops at all. Oh my god.
I stormed out of the room.
My penis shrank back up into my body.
That's why I killed her.
That's why I did it, officer.
That's why she
had to die. Listen,
there's a certain societal
contract that we all live under, okay?
Go ahead, arrest me. No jury
in the world will convict me.
Then the headline spins in.
Every jury convicts him.
People are volunteering for jury duty.
Every high school law class
in the world
follows a mock jury.
He looks over at the jury and it's
all women not wearing hoop earrings and he just
sort of tugs nervously at his collar.
Also, she would not get another piercing
in her left ear. She liked the random unbalanced
look. Unhappy man.
Anyway, I'm interested
in hypnotherapy and nope.
Oh, it's NLP.
NLP shows up again.
Neurolinguistic programming, yay.
Hooray.
Oh, okay.
Neurolinguistic programming.
I'm going to take her ears in a new direction.
Hope, hope, suck my dick.
Now you have to do it.
Nah.
And recently finished an in-depth course.
This is just for my own interest.
I'm not pro or anything.
Lori is herself interested in alternate therapies, etc.,
and has been asking me about my course.
Beginning of March, she was over and let me try hypnotizing her.
I like that. I like that.
Oh, yeah, I'm into Reiki healing.
Oh, cool. I'm into tricking women to have sex with me.
We both get alternative
education. It's a difficult sell.
This was brilliant fun.
Oh, shit. Am I British?
Yeah, probably. There have been a couple
of us so far.
Now you know what tag to add when you post this.
And she
really enjoyed the relaxation techniques.
She's having a few problems at work
and wanted to make an anchor out of something
she does every day before work
that she would come to associate with relaxing thoughts.
What the fuck did that sentence mean?
An anchor?
She wanted to make an anchor out of something.
She'll think...
It might be hypnotic lingo?
I don't know.
An anchor is something that you attach a specific emotion to,
I believe.
So her happy place, her emotional center?
Yeah.
You can rub this object and now you feel happy
or you want to have sex with this guy.
I know what object to rub to make myself feel happy.
Well, here's...
It's me.
Run mouse wheel.
I steered her gently towards the act
of putting in her earrings.
This wasn't easy. I can imagine.
Anyway, then I started to paint
simple images in her mind about EAR RINGS!
Come on.
Emphasizing the circular meaning
of the word, and so on.
And when her jewelry was balanced, her attitude was.
She seemed to accept these slightly far-out ideas.
Even a lady who's up for this kind of thing is kind of like,
oh, yay.
Kind of a stretch with the ring thing.
Listen, I think you can cure cancer with candles,
but I don't know about this shit.
To accept these slightly far-out ideas really well in trance. answer with candles, but I don't know about this shit.
It's exactly slightly far out ideas, really well
in trance.
Anyway, she enjoyed that session.
About a week ago,
she called to ask me to look
at her internet connection again.
So I made a flying visit
the following evening, obviously keen
to see what happened. When she opened the door, I was a little
disappointed because I couldn't see the usual little diamonds under her hair.
I thought my expectations had been too high.
She showed me to the PC, and I seemed to cause more harm than good,
but I asked Lori about...
Wait a minute, you're not even good at fixing computers?
What fucking value do you have?
I don't know.
I mean, he never said he's an IT guy.
I mean, goddammit, at least I know how to defrag a hard drive, you son of a bitch.
Did your keyboard have all your keys when I came in?
Because I'm just asking for no reason.
I wonder what it is about your looks or mannerisms that made her think you were good with computers.
You just said, if you installed Linux, you wouldn't even have to
worry about defragging your hard drive.
But I asked
Laura about the problems with her boss
since my session with her.
I was surprised to see her hand go straight up to her
jewelry as she saw the relaxation
really impressed her.
I know, it's working.
She didn't even notice she was playing with her ear.
How cool is that?
Come on.
Yeah, you notice one tick, that means that she's under your trance.
Oh, but that's not as
cool as noticing her web browser.
She had been looking at hoop earrings!
I just had to
casually ask if she'd been
doing any online shopping recently, and she
said yes. I couldn't ask
for details because my mobile
ring and I needed to go.
I need to catch
a lorry to the Sex Pistols.
What?
To the what?
What year is it right now?
You were looking at our PC.
It's 19 Britain 5.
Okay.
Anyway, we agreed
to catch up very soon as she promised to
show me about neck massages.
Happiness, fab site
BTW.
I'm a piece of shit.
We can edit
this part out, but I just wanted to
let you all know that after the little
aside where Lemon says he rubs Boots for happiness, I pictured Lemon putting let you all know that after the little aside where Lemon says
he rubs Boots for happiness, I pictured
Lemon putting Boots' arm up to the side of his
face and then sucking his thumb like
Linus.
That's all.
I'm glad we have that recorded.
That image is simultaneously cute and disturbing.
So I guess our fans
know what to draw fan art for this episode.
No, you don't need to do that!
No, no, no, no, no.
Not if you edit this out.
See, now we can't.
That's how this shit works.
Exactly.
Oh, I see.
It's my turn.
So, Frank West.
Yes.
I would like to know about your hoop addiction
and other things.
Well, I will tell you
as soon as I
finish stalling
for this page
to load.
Yeah, that is not your
internet connection. This site is slow.
Yeah, I was wondering. I got that too.
Like, what the fuck?
Ah, here we are. My site is slow. Yeah, I was wondering. I got that too. Like, what the fuck? Ah, here we are.
My name is Seath.
And my hoop addiction and other things.
Uh, the, uh,
the forum software on this website
was last updated in 2006.
Nice.
I think it was installed in
2006, so we're good.
As I've sent in another thread, I think it was installed in 2006, so we're good.
As I've sent in another thread, I think I find hoops attractive because I started noticing girls and earrings about the same time,
so the two kind of got mixed up in my mind.
I never noticed these things in your ears before.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I've never noticed these things around the earrings before.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Look, there's a time in every boy's life where he starts to notice earrings.
So he thinks like, oh man, I want to fuck her earrings.
And then he says out loud, man, those are really nice vaginas on your ears.
Shit.
Hoops in particular because they are a truer kind of earring than studs or dangles.
It is much easier to have a stick on...
Wait.
It's much easier to have a stick on stud of clip dangle than a clip hoop.
So a hoop earring means a pierced ear.
Who the fuck does that?
A clip hoop?
Yeah, who has a clip on earring?
I like the idea that
there's like, he's an earring purist.
He knows. Yeah.
99% of kids today have moved on to
studs or dangles. If you're a true hoop
earring believer, post this to your profile.
He's a hoop snob.
That's thousands of times
in your YouTube comment history
I also love the way
a larger hoop moves as a girl
moves her head there's nothing
etter than lying beneath a girl
who's doing you know what
whilst wearing big hoops
watching them sway back
and forth is often more of a turn on to me
than what's going on down south
I'm sure you've had a lot of opportunities
to
so you know what
you're talking about blowjobs
no I'm talking about Australia
I think you're talking about blowjobs
and I think you're saying that
it's really cool when a girl has hoop earrings
and is giving a blowjob because then the
earrings move a whole lot
that's super great you know this never happened has hoop earrings and is giving a blowjob because then the earrings move a whole lot.
That's super great.
You know, this never happened, but I can just picture it.
The picture I have is like, he's like,
come on, come on, do the finisher I like.
And she's like, okay. And so she moves the earring over his dick.
Up and down. He's like, oh, that's it.
Ah.
I like that she has a finisher, like
she's a pro wrestler.
She's really good
at delivering speeches.
The girls you're with don't finish with an RKO?
Out of nowhere!
The bigger, the
better thing is because
it's pushing the boundaries.
It takes a special type of girl to go out
in really big hoops due to the social
stereotyping that goes with them.
Um, okay.
All the
bad stereotypes
you get from... Yeah, it's harlots.
Look at how big your earrings are.
Real girls have extra curves
on their ears.
That mostly worked, that joke.
Hey, you know, let's just move on.
Just laugh at it and move on. Don't think about it.
The F+,
laugh at it and move on.
It's not bad, actually.
Multiple hoops just multiplies the
excitement for me. I also
like to see pierced ears and a
heavy hoop. The open
piercing slightly so you can see it
better is really nice.
What's your favorite hoop
combo?
What's your favorite hoop
combo?
That's your
signature, I think.
Oh, so it maybe
is. I have no idea.
Let's all sound off on what our favorite hoop combo is.
Low short into EX legs.
Hey, John, what's your favorite hoop combo?
Why are you so quiet?
Why are you so quiet?
Why are your arms folded?
Stop shaking your head like that.
What's your favorite hoop combo?
Pizza flavored.
Yeah, the pizza flavored hoops, maybe with some peanuts.
That wouldn't be so bad.
Sorry, wait.
Hey, I'm John L.
Yep.
I'm John L.
I've been addicted to large hoops since I was a young boy at school.
I used to socialize with as many girls as possible at the time who wore hoop earrings.
They used to drive me crazy.
I was hard...
It was hard to concentrate in classes while I was staring at and fantasizing about hoops most of the day.
Man, what?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. But again, I'm talking about the snacks, what? Okay. Okay. Okay.
But again,
I'm talking about the snacks, not the earrings.
Yeah.
Okay. All these girls walking around with hoops and I just want to eat some of them.
Is that a Canadian thing? I don't think
Oh, really?
Yeah. I was making a joke
about the combos. You were talking about combos, right?
Yeah, I think we've got a pun that works both ways.
Yeah.
What are hoops in Canada?
Maybe they're actually not even called hoops.
They're just little crackers that are circle-shaped.
Do they have holes in the middle?
So Americans, then?
Damn.
Impressive.
Oh, nice.
You have taken the lead.
You can just stop listening now.
It's not going to get better than that.
Okay.
John.
I would like you to ask us a question.
Oh, your name is Remo.
You've posted 15 times.
I'm Remo.
Remo.
Do someone know if, at the beginning of the times,
when the prehistoric man or woman started to pierce their ears,
colon,
was a prehistoric man slash woman who first made a hole in the ear and then started to think what
to insert slash hung in that hole or was the same prehistoric man slash woman who first wanted to
use the pendant slash stud slash ring high slash c said in any place and then not having any another idea just made
a hole in the earlobe to insert it i didn't understand any of that sentence what happened
first i'll expect your answer in five minutes okay okay i okay. I'll just unpack that sentence and I'll get back to you.
Oh, and for all
of you, what do yo
upset more? The hole
in the flesh or the metal of the
hoop travel troll?
Thanks in advance.
I usually upset the hole in the
flesh most.
I like to travel troll
the hoop.
I'm a hole lover again. again oh hey hell over all over i've always assumed it started things like small dried out bone through the nose then
probably later the ears not so much in the classic caveman image we see but more like the shamans and stuff of different tribes early jewelry was made
of bone or stone then as we learned to work with metal we naturally learned to make jewelry out of
that somewhere along the lines it became the norm for european culture for the female to have ears
pierced and everything else was for for some reason, taboo.
Okay.
You know what?
Can we just tear down all of Wikipedia
and just have you write it instead?
Yeah, I'm down with that.
But those who might answer my question,
they're begleining travel trolls.
I might get to that.
I want an answer.
They didn't let me finish either.
It's only in the last 30 to 40 years
that much of Earth's population
has gone and started piercing
other things again
again I guess you were
you're right
who knows what we'll see in another 30 years
I just have to point out
that the various posts I've read
with HLover
have had increasing levels of emoticon smiley.
Well, the more he looks at the site, the happier he gets.
That's why he's a forum moderator.
And HLover, by the way, is not from the UK.
HLover is Canadian.
I might know him.
Well, it's a small country, right?
Yeah.
Isfahan.
Yes.
Your name is Pulsar.
It sure is.
You joined in 2010.
And I want you to tell me about the essence of female style
Alright, I would be happy to tell you about the essence of female style
As soon as the page is done loading
Absolutely
No, no, no, no
As soon as that happens, you go ahead
You see, when you load it, the site starts at one part of the hoop
And then has to go all the way around
It's really the pure kind of web part of the hoop and then has to go all the way around.
It's really the pure kind of web page.
It's the one that takes two minutes to load.
Yeah.
Okay.
Listen, we're giving the site more traffic than it's had in the last year.
I don't know.
If you scroll down to the bottom, it says that it's had 14 million unique visits. I do not trust that number.
that it's had 14 million unique visits.
I do not trust that number.
You think HLover, to this day,
is just hitting F5 on the analytics for this page and all of a sudden it just spikes?
There's like a gas-powered server in the back of some room
that's kicking on now that we're going onto the site.
Anyway.
Why I love hoop earrings?
I love it by women.
I'm male.
I love female style. Female look by women I'm male I love female style
female look by women and I think some people
have forget it what it is it
sorry for my English it's not my
domestic language
for me exists
more signs of classic female beautiful look
as black sleeveless dresses or tops
and more others a lot of earring
types too hoop earrings
are here especially especially wonderful.
So sexy, wonderful, but other are too
fantastic. A lot to say, maybe not today.
Okay.
Well,
I'm only halfway through the post.
Of course,
my dream is to
touch ear with it by
a beautiful woman. I think it's logic.
And when I cannot do it public place and I not know a woman,
it's only good.
More emotion.
When we all become,
when we become all easy in our life,
then this all hot emotions can be lost.
Oh no,
I'm stuck at a parenthetical.
I love beauty of women,
female energy.
When a woman is a woman,
this is beauty and colors of life for women and men for both sexes.
And what I think about wearing hoop earrings by men, I'm open man and not conservative.
Personally, I dislike conservatism.
I'm for freedom.
When you like it, do it.
But from other side, I will personally not to wear any earrings, hoop or others.
No, for me, very personally, it's female energy, like plus and minus, man and woman.
And when in some questions we, men and woman, singular, are different, the life is IMO.
More colorful, better not lose this.
Oh, I think you've lost it a while ago.
Kind of turned into a poetry slam at the end there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. it a while ago. Kind of turned into a poetry slam at the end there.
THEFPL.US we do,
if not now, very soon have shirts
for sale, and unfortunately those shirts
will not say on them,
this is beauty and colors of life for women
and men for both sexes.
Yeah, it really touched you,
didn't it? It really did!
I just kept looking at it, and it was like, what the bleep do we know?
Like, that sentence is alive, you know?
Yeah.
Hey, do you guys remember the tripod site that we looked at?
Yeah, way back then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that site was called Lightglass55.
Mm-hmm.
And that was a pretty good site.
You know, everybody was talking about how, you know, it's family-friendly and it's not weird.
Anyway, that site was Lightglass55.
It was owned by a guy named Lightglass.
And here's a guy on hoopfetcom called robert light glass so that's
interesting so it wasn't it wasn't a handle it was just his name yeah yeah yeah robert you know
like glass so anyway uh here's that guy risque is a french word meaning to risk. Over the years, it has taken on a sexual meaning.
The reason is simple.
Risk increases sexual excitement.
I'm following so far.
Ew. A good-looking girl
walks into a bar.
The ugly girl ducks.
I know.
Thanks, Dad.
I like it.
There are two patrons.
A nice guy dressed in a casual sweater
and a biker dude that obviously owns
a Harley. The Harley parked outside.
Who does she live with? Leave with?
The biker dude, of course.
The nice guy...
Is this the spearhead?
Where did this come from?
2010, so I mean... First I was thinking, oh, this is like proto-nice guy screed, but it's pretty current.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The nice guy would have been the safer choice, but she knows by comparison he would have been boring.
Risk and sexual intensity go hand in hand.
That's why I only fuck over lava.
Oh, you too?
The FBI keeps trying to raid our cult.
The confidence to deal with risk is also a big turn on.
When a girl puts on a pair of six inch stiletto heels, she risks tripping, falling on her face, and breaking her nose. Yet, the look is hot,
and one of the reasons that she projects
the confidence that she can handle
it. I've thought
about this a lot. Yeah.
Nope, not a fetish site, though.
Nope.
The same can be said about wearing
a pair of huge, heavy earrings.
She risks busting her ears
out, but the look also projects the confidence that she will not.
How heavy are these earrings?
Yeah, it makes me feel good.
Oh, you know, I'm sorry.
You're going to have to leave your ears in the shop.
I blew an ear again.
So now we reverse the situation.
A good-looking guy walks into a bar,
and in one corner is a wallflower girl,
and in the other is our chick,
with the stiletto heels and huge earrings,
which look more exciting.
The girl who is projecting the risk and confidence,
which will likely make for a far more interesting evening!
To some extent,
when I hear women who
put down other women for
looking trashy
when they wear big hoops
or dress in a risque
fashion, I think there is
jealousy at play.
I don't have the confidence to handle such
a look of
our
afraid of the level of handle such a look of our afraid of the level of
excitement such a look might bring.
Rather than admit their own
emotional inadequacy, they
clear their ego by calling
the other women a
hooer, or worse.
Hooer.
Hooer.
That is a phonetic spelling of Joey Pants Hoo-er.
Hoo-er.
She's a hoo-er.
Macaroni's ready.
On the other side of the spectrum, maybe our wallflower guy should try out a Harley sometime.
Keep rocking the hoops! The bigger the better!
Smiley face!
Hoops are not trashy!
Keep rocking the hoops.
For all the women on this site.
Yeah, keep rocking the hoops in the free world.
So, like, the female version of the whole Pua thing is, like, they're hoops?
Like, that's how they show value?
Yeah, because it's so risky.
It's just a risky outfit.
All the time, there's just
things that might just catch your ears.
There's always this debris that's
falling around your head all the time.
Yeah, man. My sister died of hearing.
Oh, yours too.
I'm sorry to hear that, but you know,
we should have a support group.
The thing you read from Andrew,
Hoops Are Not Trashy, that was over two years
after the original post.
He just, he showed up and he was like,
this dude might have maybe implied
that hoops are trash.
He's just stewing for two years, he's like,
you know what, I'm finally going to say something.
I must assemble the perfect rebuttal.
Nuh-uh.
This document, once again,
provided by Spooks.
And Spooks is getting very good
at providing documents.
There's a section here on drinking blood.
We're going to skip past.
But our last section here is drinking blood we're going to skip past. But our last
section here is called Fond
Memories.
So
I'm going to give
you a choice
Isfahan, but you don't really have much
to go on. But I'm going to give you a choice
anyway. Option
number one is a thread called
Friends.
It starts one night, me and my wife.
And the other thread in Friends is called Another Conversation.
And that one starts out, I recent had an online friend that I met through a website.
Well, I got to go with the one that has the spelling error.
Grammar problems on the second word?
Yeah.
That makes sense.
Well, why don't you go ahead and start your clock, because you're gonna click on that link and then wait for it to load.
I got it up.
And I got the page loaded, too.
Oh, wow.
Congratulations.
What's your name?
How'd you get it up so fast?
My name is Vigorflyer, and this thread is entitled, actually,
Another Conversion.
Yeah.
One of us.
I recent had an online friend
that I meet through a website.
Believable so far.
We have been good friends
and talking for a good little while.
The other day,
we were on Yahoo Messenger. This thread is from 2007.
Do you think that's a...
I think it's like diameter. Are you wondering that too?
I actually have my middle
finger and thumb up to my ear trying to figure
out. It's gotta be
diameter. It's gotta be.
Yeah, because it couldn't be a foot.
Could it? No. It's gotta be diameter.
Could it? Oh my god.
Could it?
But she had a really bad
allergy to the metal, let's
say, of honor. She breaks
out and cannot wear Andy thing
that goes through her skin.
After a little while
and a few days, she asked me
about them again, so I got my wife
to put them on and she was on the webcam
playing with them to show my friend.
Oh, this all happened so hard.
Just the other day...
Hello, you are out of credits. I can't play
with my hearings anymore.
Let me get my credit card.
Oh, God. Okay, I will wait.
Just the other day,
she brought them up again and asked
for a link to be able to contact the
person about them.
Just two nights ago, we were
online with Yahoo Messenger
again with our webcams on
and out of the blue, she
left the cam. When she
came back into view, she was wearing some
of the six-inch silver hoops.
She played with them for a while
and then had to take them off for a while due silver hoops. She played with them for a while and then had to take them off
for a while due to her allergies.
A long story short,
she has fell in love with me
and the hoops. But since
I am married, we are remaining friends.
She
does wear the hoops on her webcam
until she starts to get
irritated with her ears.
And third great person converted. I'm a guy that loves she starts to get irritated with her ears and third
great person
converted
I'm a guy
that loves
huge hoop earrings
my wife
wears them
for me all the time
and her biggest
pair of six inches
that's in
my
signature
oh that's in
your signature
so every time
you post
you need other
people on the
hoop fetish site
to know that
you're a guy
every post of mine
I passively brag about that signature so every time you post you need other people on the HoopFetish site to know that you're a guy who loves HoopFetish.
I passively brag about that.
I don't know if you heard this about me
but...
I got a big dick and
VigorFlyer
also made a
fun post.
THEFBL.US, we've got the documents.
There is one called
A Guy Makes the First Step,
which is pretty good.
It's one of the sentences in there is
she bent over in front of me with a miniskirt on
and I just happened to notice that she was not wearing underwear.
But we're going to skip to that.
We're going to skip that to a post,
which is really two of my favorite words to read on the internet,
which is,
My girlfriend!
Yeah.
My girlfriend!
Anyway, Frank, if you'll take that, please.
Hi, I'm Governor,
because I guess this wasn't cartoonishly British enough yet.
No, no, no.
Oi.
Governor.
Governor.
Got a story I'd share with all you members.
These days, I have my girlfriend exactly where I want her.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
I have always had a fetish for big hoop earrings.
It just really drives me mad sexually, I guess.
That would be a fetish, yes.
Oi, that's mad sexually.
When I first met my girlfriend in a
nightclub, one of the first things I ever noticed
is how prominent the pierced holes
were in her ears.
She was very patient when I spent an hour just next to her ears
going like, whoa.
It's like I can
see through time in your ears.
This immediately drove me wild as this host suggested to me that my girlfriend was a regular wearer of big earrings.
So forward of you.
This site needs a macro that puts blinking neon arrows over my girlfriend.
Nice holes in your ears.
You're my girlfriend now.
Yeah. my girlfriend nice holes in your ears you're my girlfriend now yeah however as time went on
my girlfriend never seemed to wear rings of any kind even though she clearly had regularly in the
past oh come on i used to fantasize about one day finally seeing her in them and started to thinking
of ways i could get her to the most obvious way would have just been to tell her but as our
relationship was in the first year, I didn't
want to ruin it by coming across as a
complete weirdo.
I mean, you didn't come across that way before.
No, no.
Smooth sailing up till now.
I like that you thought, like, maybe
I'll tell her. No.
It's important to me to not
communicate to my girlfriend what I like. Then one day, the solution finally came to me to not communicate to my girlfriend what I like.
Then one day, the solution finally came to me.
I bought a pair of silver hoop earrings and left them on the dressing table in her bedroom,
hoping she would come across them and think she had rediscovered them.
You didn't fucking buy them for her and present them as a gift?
Does your girlfriend also often pick up things and go,
oh, that must be mine?
Yeah,
my girlfriend's a cat.
Or a kleptomaniac.
Every night, I would build up anticipation
that I would go around her house
and she would have put them on.
But still, weeks went past
and nothing! I would keep placing
them in a room.
You would keep placing them in a really... You would keep placing them?
I would keep placing them in a really obvious place in her dresser, but it didn't work.
It's like bait for a trap.
Meanwhile, she's like, I keep throwing these hideous fucking earrings out, and they come back. Are they haunted?
Picture, like, in the morning, like, drinking your coffee. She's like, oh, what is this in there? And then pulls out the hoop earrings, and he's,. Are they haunted? Picture like in the morning, like drink your coffee.
She's like,
Oh,
what is this in there?
And then pulls out the hoop earrings and he's like, slightly looking sideways.
And it's like,
how did those get in there?
Oops.
I knocked these off your dresser.
After weeks of waiting,
I finally got my chance.
We were going to the cinema one Wednesday evening and I was unintentionally early to pick up my girlfriend.
She therefore invited me in whilst she finished getting ready.
As she finished her makeup and hair,
she turned around to me and asked how she looked.
I couldn't resist.
I saw the hoops where I'd left them the previous night and went over to her.
I picked up the hoops and brushed back her hair.
Then in turn put each hoop through her
earlobe.
She asked what he was doing, and I
told her she'd look really good in
this suit.
Is it even... Not that I've ever done it,
but is it hard to put in earrings into someone
else's ear? I feel like that's not as
smooth as he thinks it would.
Well, I feel like if that's your
interest,
you know, you're probably pretty good at it.
You're like one of those guys that
can remove the bra really fast.
You're that, but for putting earrings on ladies.
He's had a lot of practice on the cadaver.
This is an action that
in any other context would not be
nearly as creepy as
it is here.
I am all sort of shriveled up in my chair
anxiety over this well exactly because it's like it's one of those things where it's like it's like
even even if you give the guy like the the oh okay so you're into hoop earrings i get that
and and a girlfriend would probably give you that too. But clearly, you've been so unpleasant about it
to hide the shit for her to pick up.
I didn't even fucking say it.
Yeah.
And it's worth noting that this tiny forum
is attached to a much larger place
where they post lots of pictures and videos.
Yay!
So there's nothing innocent about it.
No.
I did want to say on the topic of him putting on the earrings,
he's probably gotten so good at practicing putting earrings on someone else
that he could just do it like darts at this point.
It's like...
Now you got earrings on.
180!
My hands were shaking with excitement as I did it.
It was literally my fantasy coming true.
Anyway, my ex-girlfriend...
It was some time before they found me in the ditch.
On our way to the cinema, I could not stop checking out my girlfriend.
Seeing the hoops hanging and swaying in her ears.
They were so big that even her long, thick hair could not really hide them.
My girlfriend constantly complained the whole journey about them,
saying how big, heavy, and annoying they were.
They remind me of someone.
I guess this turned me on to even more.
Yay!
You're uncomfortable, but it doesn't matter
because this is for me.
I see your true colors shining through.
That was beautiful.
At the cinema, I spent more time
watching my
girlfriend than the
film. I was fixated.
It's eventually
just going to become sound.
When I was at the cinema
I was fixated
Still couldn't believe it
When I finally did get into the film
I eventually turned around and to my disappointment
Saw she had took them off
And was wearing them as bracelets
I like this girl
This is a very believable story so far
I can picture her
Holding her wrist out to him.
Like, oh, does this do anything for you, huh?
Fucking leave me alone?
She's like, well, clearly these are gifts he wants me to wear,
so I guess I can wear them as bracelets.
Maybe he'll still like it.
Why is he mad?
I asked her why, and she told me she didn't like them.
I was devastated, but said no more.
Fortunately, another
oh good, another opportunity
for you to force this shit on her.
How fortunate.
Another opportunity came along for me the next day.
My
girlfriend!
She's not wearing the earrings now so you should be less excited.
My girlfriend
got really upset
while I was looking through her wardrobe
and deciding she no longer had anything to wear.
It came to me straight away
what to do in this situation.
Go naked, but wearing earrings!
Wear a suit made entirely of hoop earrings
linked together like chain mail.
Oh, it's even creepier.
I told her I'd buy her some new dresses
if she wore her hoop earrings for the day
whilst we went shopping.
Oh, good. Let's set this up as a quick pro-co relationship.
Now we're at the
bargaining phase
of the fetish.
To begin with,
she was surprised and refused.
I left the option there for her
and said if she changed her mind, then the offer was still there.
I went downstairs to chat with her dad.
Oh, no.
Yeah, that's what.
Did you put earrings on him, too?
And then ten minutes later.
Oh, God.
Ten minutes later, to my complete surprise, she followed me downstairs,
complete with big hoop earrings in her ears.
I loved that day in town,
especially when we bumped into people we know.
Nowadays,
my girl friend
knows exactly how to play me.
It sometimes seems to cost me a lot of money,
but hey, I guess I get my wish from
here. I get my wish from
time to time.
You know what? I mean,
you made a conscious decision, Carmela
Soprano.
You knew who you were
getting in there with, and you were like,
fuck it, I'm writing this out.
Oh, I'm wearing
your earrings. Oh my god my god oh they're so heavy
oh no are they too heavy for me i don't know anyway i need money
all right uh we got uh there's a there's just the last sentence from governor is really uh
really amazing so um uh boots real quick h lover there uh yeah
nice story thanks for sharing it's too bad she's so reluctant to wear them i know for me it sucks
the fun right out of it if she doesn't enjoy wearing them perhaps she'd be more willing if
you picked a lighter and smaller pair mutiny i can't help but wonder what she thought when the hoops
kept appearing on her dresser table
in different spots each day, as she
clearly hadn't bought them for herself.
Surely now she realized
it must have been you! No, she realized
then it was you! Yeah.
And then, uh, Frank, finish
us off, please.
Hey, since getting
my girlfriend
in hoop earrings at last,
I recently came across some older
pictures of her on Bebo with,
you've guessed it, a large
pair of hoop earrings in her ears on
various nights out. I can only guess
that this was the reason she never questioned
the hoops, and she thought they must
be those. It also solved my
theory as to why the holes in her ears
have always been so prominent.
Once I found these pictures,
you can guess how turned on I got
the first time I saw them.
I waited for
my girlfriend to complain
the next time I asked her to wear them.
She did, obviously.
And once I told her that I knew she'd
wore them before, she first of all tried to deny it. Once I'd shown her that I knew she'd wore them before,
she first of all tried to deny it.
Once I'd shown her the pictures, she couldn't any further.
The camera doesn't lie.
This is still very creepy.
If you visit Bebo.com, you get a site that gives you epilepsy.
So it's pretty cool.
Oh, will that make me forget everything we've heard?
I'm worth a shot.
Oh, yeah, alright. I'm trying it now. I can't hurt. Well, actually, yes.
Huh?
My
girlfriend!
My girlfriend!
Wears them so much now,
e.g. meals, shopping, cinema, sex,
that she seems to be getting used to them.
In fact, I sometimes don't even ask her
to put them on anymore.
Well, I mean, assuming that her allowance
is paid up for the day, yeah.
I wore her down, yay!
This is a healthy relationship.
New post, two days later.
P.S. I have pics if you want to see them
oh god so f plus what did we learn from this lovely lovely sight that who fetishes are really
concerned with appearances which i guess is kind of not the opposite of ironic. I don't know. They're all really, like,
on both the tripod side and here, they're always
like, you know, no
dirty stuff. Even when
I'm writing a story specifically about
this fetish.
I don't want it to be too dirty.
Yeah, no, the fetish stuff was just sort of like
like, oh, and then my
ear touches
your neck
while we're
you know
right like most fetishists would be like
and then I whip my dick out
that never happened
that would take focus away
from the good thing
a lot of these guys they don't even like say
this gives me an erection they just say
it drives me wild
like in that in that
hair metal sense earrings earrings earrings yeah yeah because i mean you hear i mean it's like the
the there's there's there's definitely a lot of uh watch fetish similarities uh that happened uh
watch fetish remains an episode i like very much much. But there's a lot of similarities there as far as people have these sort of sexual awakenings
that just sort of happen to be tied into a watch.
Like, you know, it's one of these things of like, oh, girls.
Oh, and girls wear earrings. I feel like there's a connection of hoop earrings being worn by women of different moral and sexual purity.
Or am I reading that into that? Does that seem like that's happening? No, it's a big, I mean, it seems like a lot of them are, especially H-Lover here, is like, he
likes earrings because it's like what
the sort of people who are
supposed to wear hoop earrings.
The size of the hoop is also
corresponds with like the
the sluttiness factor?
Or the...
Because it seems to be, oh yeah, bigger hoop earrings
are better. So it's almost like a
quantification of their sexual availability.
Yeah.
It's almost like they see the hoop earrings as the symbol of the type of women they are.
But then they still fixate on the hoop earrings themselves.
It'd be like, oh, if you put on these hoop earrings, you'll be the woman I like.
Because the women I like wear hoop earrings.
That's the creepy element too.
like, you know, because the women I like wear hoop earrings. That's the creepy element
too. Since the fetish is an
accessory, you need
somebody to be complicit
in your
fetish. Yeah, a woman's head
is just a vehicle for
hoop delivery.
Yeah.
It's way more like this.
It's way more that in that, like,
yeah, the hoop earrings reflect on the woman themselves rather than..., like, people with glasses fetish would be more like that.
It's like, oh, the glasses show that they're nerdy and introspective or whatever.
But, no, the glasses stuff we read in that other episode was just like, oh, these glasses are awesome, look how big they are.
So, it's interesting to see that from the perspective of, like, oh, these hoop earrings indicate the type of i think that i think that again it's like it's like that that story there with the girlfriend it's that it's that there's
um some sort of sociological signifier that creates that that creates that fetish in the
first place and then it's and then it's its own thing because like like intellectually they could
probably say like oh it sort of means slut.
But then they want their wives and girlfriends to wear it, which is usually not what fetishes would want from wives and girlfriends.
So, man, I don't know.
It's a very confusing thing, but they are the most pure earrings there are.
That's true. I like that we have spent literal years
researching by
proxy these different fetishes.
And even now when we come up with something like this
we're just like, fuck, I don't know,
shit.
There's no real nailing these down.
It's just fucking people and weird.
Yeah, and I cannot stop.
I refuse to stop because I always
find it fascinating.
It's stopped being surprising,
but it hasn't stopped being confusing.
Oh no, I enjoy it.
I'm still fucking here, but
I mean, it's just...
There's no nailing it down.
I don't enjoy it. They have me captured. Please send help.
Shut up, shut up, shut up. Get back in the box.
And if you're looking for a place to be
both confused and surprised, you should go
to Ball Pits.
It is a
forum with a lot of confusing posters
on it.
A lot of confused posters on it, too.
I'm one of them.
Website,
thefbl.us. We probably got
merch for sale, and bye.us. We probably got merch for sale.
And bye.
Bye.
Damn dog, idiots win.
Adjudicated guess. Because you need to
get back in the arms of a good friend.
And I need to
get back in the arms of a girlfriend.