The F Plus - 25: Porno For Pyros (Except With Sex Instead of Fire)
Episode Date: June 10, 2010It's been said that communication is key to a healthy relationship. It's also been said that when your sex life cools, lovers should watch pornographic films together. But what if your primary re...lationship is with pornography itself? Well, if communication is key, that means you should talk about it. All the time. And you should talk about it on internet message boards with other people who are into pornography just as much as you are. This week, The F Plus examines the meaning of "Too Much Of A Good Thing"
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey there, welcome to the F Plus Podcast. Terrible Things, right with enthusiasm.
My name's Lemon.
And I'm John.
And John, I don't know if you've heard the news or musicals that people think are funny,
but did you know that there's pornography on the internet?
What?
Really?
There is.
Wow.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry this is how you had to find out.
Well, I just, there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of time I got to make up for now.
You've been using it wrong this entire time.
I know.
Yeah, there is in fact pornography on the internet and there's pornography in retail stores and there's pornography, you know, in newspapers.
But what we're talking about this week is not pornography as a whole.
What we're more talking about...
Oh, that's nice.
That's nice.
What we're more talking about is fans of pornography.
Ah, okay.
So let me guess, you know, just people...
Not necessarily about porn itself,
but the people talking about porn.
Yeah, you know, not all of them,
but some of your smaller kind of porn companies
have their own forms.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
And then fans of the porn can talk about their favorite porn stars,
their favorite...
Well, I was going to say their favorite sex acts,
but it's just all butt sex.
Acts.
I mean, oh, yeah, sure.
Sure, I'm sure they talk about that. And that's what we have well I'm sure it's very interesting and not full of
creepy people just talking out about nothing
no no no no
this is sensible normal human beings
that just
respect an art form
I could give you more intro but I'm assuming you've figured it out by now.
Let's get to the readers.
In the room tonight, we have Acer Aquatel.
So, which head was it?
Portax.
I like Zattrop. That's Portax spelled backwards.
Boots Reindeer.
Butts.
John.
Uh, pornography is great.
Squiddy McConway.
Oh, shit, I didn't think of anything.
That's a good one one I bet that you
go to Jamba Juice
Victor Laszlo
na na na na na na na
Buttman
and Lemon
which head was it?
I'm gonna post another link
keep in mind that there's an inline
well it's not porn, but you're gonna
see a gigantic kind of meatloaf
ass.
I'm just telling you that because...
The singer or the food product?
Does it matter?
I'm gonna think both.
Oh, good God!
Block that image.
I'm only doing it just because
the text around it is terrific
Oh god
Oh hey that's not bad
I mean oh god
I don't like that at all
I sure don't
Oh man
It's like having leather
Dice hanging from the
Windshield
Oh god
All I'm going to say is when someone asks you
If you are god you say yes
Acer do you want to start this off
And then we'll go alphabetically
The important thing is
You have to get to Caesar 77
Because he's great
Me personally
I prefer a woman
With big breasts
But I also love a woman
with a nice brown ass.
But I was wondering
what you all prefer.
Blackmail.
And between these performers with
nice natural breasts and
big round asses, who's
the better performer
or who would
you prefer to watch?
Big Breast, bunch of names.
Big Ass, other bunch of names.
Who gives a shit?
Big Ass, no doubt.
Horrible picture.
That picture looks like somebody took a Photoshop of some chicken drumsticks.
Yeah, bears.
I would like to point out on the names here,
the big breast names are great
because it's all these poor names like
Carmen Hayes, Baby Cakes,
Candice Fawn, Gianna Michaels,
and Stacey Adams.
Hi, Stacey!
Hi, I'm Stacey Adams!
I'm sitting here next to Baby Cakes.
Hi!
Portex, will you take oiled-up cells?
I will not. Yes, you will.
Good job,
damn it.
Big ass, in my opinion, is a waste
if it's not doing anal, but I prefer
big ass.
How would you even get it in there?
I mean,
it needs some kind of
extension or something.
The jaws of life.
I think Boots is said man, I think.
I am.
Said man 2112.
Yeah.
I pretty much agree with this,
and especially think big-ass titles should be filled with anal.
But lately, a bunch of big-ass releases have little to no anal at all.
That's a trend that needs to change.
Hear, hear!
Yeah, I mean...
March on, Washington.
Caesar 77.
We should have a titty-and-ass
competition. Alexis Texas
versus Jasmine Black. Darlene
Brazilian versus Gianna Michaels.
Cherokee da-ass versus Jasmine Black. Darlene, Brazilian, versus Gianna Michaels. Cherokee da ass
versus Terry Nova.
Ava Rose versus Laura Lyon.
Luana versus Jessica Moore.
Soraya versus Tyler
Moore. Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow. Brenda Warner versus
Jalyn Rio. I love women.
When I was a preteen,
I was a breast man. Then around 16 preteen, I was a breast man.
Then around 16, 17,
I became a ass man.
Like dude on Barber Shop,
a chic can never have
too much ass. I'm 32
now and I'm starting to lean back
to them big boobies. Let me have
an orgy with Terry Nova,
Jasmine Black, Alexis
Texas, Cherokee, Brenda Warner, and Darlene, and I'd
be in heaven. And add Annette Schwartz,
Bobby Starr, and Bobby Bliss in a joint
oral scene, S-E-E-N,
after I've smoked some sour
diesel and done a line or two.
I'd be ruined for life.
Sounds like you already are.
The ultimate T and A
battle is between Christina Hendricks
of Mad Men versus Andressa Soares, the watermelon woman from Brazil.
All right.
I got to look this up.
That means she just sells watermelons, right?
I love women.
Give me a chic with these dimension.
36, 24, 52.
These Dimension, 36, 24, 52.
Okay, so he wants 52. He doesn't know what 52 would look like.
52 would look like that chick up there.
That is what he wants.
Okay.
And then 36 double F.
Come one, come all to see the amazing woman who breaks in half.
Automatic.
You'll have to visit her, because she
can't stand. Also,
I think unless Shorty gonna ask for
anal, it's not up for discussion.
Everybody got a asshole.
Now, if Luscious
Lewis or Ava Rose came through,
that ass gonna get licked.
But that cause women are da biz.
Anal ain't hot, though. Ain't
nothing worse than going up in a booty,
then shorty about to crap everywhere.
Yuck, not a good look.
Give shorty a bubble bath, then lick it down,
then dick it down.
Ass play for convicts.
Why would you put ass play for convicts?
Is that like Toys for Tots?
Hey, Lemon.
Yes.
Can we do
Buttman Remembers Jamie Gillis?
Yeah, I think we probably should.
Yeah.
Hang on.
I'm a huge Buttman Remembers fan.
Do you have a series?
You had a series between
Buttman and Jamie Gillis.
Buttman Remembers.
Buttman and Jamie Gillis.
Buttman remembers.
So you want to know about my birthday? I'll tell you all about it.
Way back in...
Okay.
Oh, it's inside
of Vile Angel.
Oh, I don't want to see inside that.
All right.
Victor?
There's definitely porn on this page.
Yeah.
Victor, would you like to remember Jamie Gillis?
Probably not from looking at it.
She's going to haunt your dream.
There we go.
I'm just afraid my wife's going to come downstairs while this is loading.
It's for a podcast, I promise.
Which one?
Porn talk.
With Victor Laszlo.
It happens.
All right, so Buttman remembers Jamie Gillis.
Buttman? It says Buttman remembers Jamie Gillis. Buttman?
Buttman.
Your name is Buttman.
Victor Buttman Laszlo.
You're also HIV positive.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Okay.
Okay.
I don't really know how to modify my voice for
having AIDS.
Whatever the first voice that pops into your head when you hear the name Buttman, use that voice.
Just play it straight. The text speaks for itself.
Yeah.
Be very somber.
It's very somber text.
Okay.
His voice should smell like a fart.
Buttman.
Only Buttman.
Jamie Gillis is dead i first saw jamie gillis in the early 70s
sometimes in 35 millimeter films at the pussycat theaters but mostly in cheap 16 millimeter films
at dive movie houses on east hollywood boulevard one dollar to get. He was the one guy in the movie you were always sure was
enjoying himself. There was
not an ounce of bullshit in his sexual
performance. His
dick was always hard, even when left
without female attention.
Patiently waiting at the constant movement
of the bottom two fingers on his
left hand. I remember
thinking once that I had never seen him
soft.
He was monitoring
his dick 24 hours a day.
In 1989, when I was
preparing to shoot the first butt man
scene,
I knew that this was the guy to play Eddie,
the pervert lead.
I knew because when I was in an orgy
with him in 1983,
he positioned himself
on the floor under this
new young girl so she
could sit on his face.
I had never seen anyone love
asshole like him.
I hope he actually
said this at the funeral home.
I hope this was a proper eulogy.
I'm hoping it's the epitaph
on his gravestone.
I've never seen anyone love assholes
like that man.
Not a dry eye in the house.
He loved assholes.
It's the inspiring speech at the end of the movie.
Remember this about him.
I never knew anyone
who loved asshole as much as him.
I was so in awe of meeting him.
There was a new, young girl
in that orgy that I had been paired with.
I had a feeling Jamie really liked her,
so I pushed her over to him
as a gift to the master.
She didn't regret it.
I pushed a girl over for you.
Wow. Trip! girl over for you wow
that's for you
she fell over
score one for butt man
my work here is done
other porn stars need me
making porno and tripping whores
the butt man promised Oh, God. Making porno and tripping whores.
The fuck man promised.
There is the story that when he lived with Serena,
the nubile redhead porn star of the mid-70s, he would always kiss her goodbye in the morning by kissing her asshole.
He definitely kissed that one.
You see?
You see, that's why he said that he loved
asshole. He didn't love that asshole.
He was in love with asshole.
I love assholes.
Not in love with assholes.
And there was the 1986
XRCO award show.
An 18-year-old Karina
Collins in a skimpy white dress
with her ass jutting out walks by me
and before I can
put my tongue back in my mouth, she's
talking to Jamie. Then they
were gone, to commit some unspeakable
act of exquisite ass obsession.
Exquisite.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
This is the classiest sodomy
I've ever been in.
Eight years later, the two of them sat in my living room together watching the Super Bowl, talking about student-teacher relationships.
With their assholes.
I don't think studying 1301 is a good
is a viable classroom activity
alright
A for effort, add asshole
I am credited with doing
the first Gonzo movies but what is called
Gonzo today really was done first
by Jamie
he came up with the dirty debutantes
concept of interviewing girls before a sex
scene. He did
On the Prowl before I shot him
in the first butt man scene in
1989.
Jamie is part of the first generation
of porn stars. We knew almost
nothing about the erotic arts before
him.
Now he's gonzo.
Oh wow. Oh, wow.
Oh, Jamie.
I was like, how do we fuck?
Somebody talk to Jamie.
That must be terrible
to try to fuck in the 1960s
before Jamie Gillis was born.
What is this weird flappy thing
off the front of my
lower abdominal region?
Jamie said, wait a minute,
this can go in something.
I know, the man is a pioneer.
Well, first, he didn't quite figure it out
because he said asshole, and then someone else.
It was a stepping stone, though.
Check out the next hole over.
Wait a minute.
What do you mean? Whoa! Where did this
come from? That's how something goes
from fucking to being an erotic art.
Alright, we're gonna move swiftly
from Buttman into Jenna
Jameson. This is her MySpace.
Oh god.
She asked
her fans to name her
babies for her.
Oh, wow.
Is that an entendre?
No.
No, no, no.
Her actual babies.
Yeah, her twin babies.
Are you sure this isn't?
So, Squiddy, do you want to take Jenna Jameson and then just pick a post as a response?
We won't go through it, but just pick one
if it sings out to you.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
The whole thing right after that.
I want to do Mrs. Dickerson.
Alright.
Alright.
Okay. September 25th, 2008. Thursday. alright okay
September 25th 2008
Thursday
one blog on Myspace
current mood happy face surprised
this goes to show
that there are still wonderful people in the world
I have personally read
all of your blog replies to my twins
post not one
negative post.
I love the fact that I have such amazing support from all of you.
This is the time of my life.
This is one time in your life.
I can't wait to take all of you with me on my journey through pregnancy and into motherhood.
Maybe we should do a little poll.
Any fabulous ideas for names?
XOXOXOX, JJ?
I don't know, just say that with your sock, sock, sock, socks.
Sock, sock, sock.
Let's see girls' names.
Destiny Dawn, Paradise Rose, Mercedes Ann, Sapphire Rose.
Boy names, Xavier James, Dakota Paul, Hunter Felix.
Hope you like them.
Kids are beautiful, but they're true handfuls.
Grow life, grow life, wildflowers.
Oh, what?
They're always gardening.
So enjoy.
Wow!
What scholars you all are.
How appropriate. A bunch of ignorant, broke
jokes. How much money do you have
again? How many records have you sold
recently? How disgusting of you.
Do you kiss your mouth
with these mouths? Did you kiss your mother
with these mouths? And you are
from the South?
What an epic disgrace.
Who the F are you to talk about anyone?
Hypocrites!
And really, nobody can say anything to you
to hurt you any more than your popularity
or your record sales already have.
Lumpfow!
Once again, they have all tricked off
to her at least once in their miserable lives.
And they are just mad.
First, because her language is so horrible.
And second, because she didn't waste her time on them.
Very true to yours.
Yeah.
Not one negative comment.
Alright, I'm taking Renee, the next one, down.
I feel that you should have more respect for her,
even though she was a porn star at one point in her life.
Don.
Tuh.
Mean.
People cannot change.
So, what?
Don.
Tuh.
Ooh.
Keep your nasty look on this.
Do your self and let her raise her boys with respect, Ellipsis. Do yourself
and let her raise her boys
with respect ellipsis.
Okay.
Jolene.
Jolene Rudge.
Hi, pretty mama.
No, wait, no, wait, no.
I've done that one before.
Hi, pretty mama. wait no wait no I've done that one before Hi pretty mama Okay names
One of my favorites
And one I hope to name one of my children
If ever I am so blessed is
Lyric
I just love how it sounds
And it makes me feel like the child was made with
Song poetry and love
I'm not really good at names, but that is the only
idea I have. Good luck
and bless you and your family.
Jolene!
If you say such offense to the word
nigger, then stop conducting yourself
as one. Additionally, threats are for the
weak!
What?
How are your English teachers
down there in Louisiana?
Oh, let me guess. You quit
to become a star?
Nobody's scared of a bunch
of ignorant, no-talented rejects.
Thank you for the cracker
comment.
I think the actual pronunciation is cracker.
Do you know what cracker meant?
Or do you need a history lesson as well as English?
You can't insult people when you don't know the meanings.
I have to agree with Melissa.
What a waste of sperm and an egg.
Hey, Mr. Wannabe Millionaire.
You need to shut your filthy, ignorant, non-spelling, non-spelling, uneducated, hate-spelling mouth.
You are a low-caste, low-life piece of shit
who needs to learn how to spell and get some mental health
for all your rape fantasies.
I wouldn't be surprised if you were gay
and in the closet after all the ass-sucks you keep talking about.
This is positive page for someone who is happy,
so fuck off, you loser.
You wish you had the success of your life, but you don't, so instead of
working a little harder, you choose to come here and talk
stupid shit and try to bring people down to your
level, that's so sudden, though!
P.S. If you don't like
the N-word, then stop saying it like it's cool.
Keep the it's-just-for-us-black-foot
bullshit to a minimum. If it degrades
and offends you, stop using it, so will everyone
else, Mr. Double Standard.
And that's the
couple of ellipses that mean
she's done.
Ten means she's still going. Six means she's done.
What about
Princess Melanie?
Grant for a boy
because the Lord granted you a beautiful wish.
And hope for a girl because we hope she is as beautiful, strong, and intelligent as her parents.
That's my two cents.
Please continue to post.
I will live vicariously through you as I'm unhinged.
God bless.
All names should be puns. I like it.
Oh, wrong.
I want to read Jenny's name suggestions.
If you have two girls,
Tristan Lane and Trinity Lee,
two boys, Tristan Lucas and
Trace Ellis, one boy and one
girl, Tristan Boy and Trinity
Girl. I also like
Donovan Michael, Dominic,
Alizé, like the drink.
Oh, yeah.
Nevaeh.
I've seen this on someone else's
and love the idea of Nevaeh and heaven.
My niece's
name is Nevaeh Kieran,
Shizedon,
Braylon, Brayden,
Aiden, etc.
Braylon.
Braylon. I think Tr, Aiden, etc. Braylon. Braylon.
I think Tristan Lane sounds like a movie star name.
Best of luck, Jenna.
And Crystal's gonna
elaborate on something. Crystal,
Nevaeh, it's heaven backwards.
Alright, here's Tink.
I'm rich and I hate
my future kids.
My husband and I like
unique names. We named our little boy
Rowdy.
R-O-W-D-Y.
When I was pregnant
we were also thinking of Trip.
But you will know when it's the perfect one
because it will stick with you and your heart
will melt thinking of it.
Best of luck!
My heart melts
for Rowdy.
I hope he's a really fat kid.
This is
no one.
I never knew too much about you
besides the obvious
until I watched your bio on E,
and I think you are a wonderful person you are.
I'm so happy for you and Tito.
How about Olivia, Ava, Aja, Brooke, Ellipsis?
Question mark? question mark, for a boy,
Oliver, Nathan,
Thor, Justin?
Anyways, good luck!
And I can't wait to see more
belly pics.
Because, you know,
somebody's getting all up excited about that.
Okay, I've got one.
I'm Scott. Oh, okay.
Oh, no, no, no. Go ahead.
Go ahead. I'm Scott Reeves.
Here are a few
names to throw throughout.
Boys.
Tito Jr. Scott.
Sean. Michael.
Alexander. Joseph.
Girls.
Nikki. Nicole. Angela. Lisa. Jennifer. Morgan. Ariel. alexander joseph girls nikki nicole angela lisa jennifer morgan ariel
personally i would never say anything to disrespect you because one you are a woman
and two cheeto is a rather large man and i would really hate to be on the receiving end of one of his punches.
Semi-colon, close parenthesis.
You have a lot of fans who adore you and who are also very happy for you and the big man.
Us fans expect to see some belly pictures as you progress through the next several months of your pregnancy.
Be good, Jenna!
Exclamation marks.
Give me a baller to be excited. Just let me know.
By the way, if you can find Scott's
picture, he's a really fat dude, but
it's like part of his face
is being torn off and underneath it's the
Terminator.
That's about Terminator.
Okay, I got one.
Mommy of three and two in heaven.
If it's a girl, I like Emma,
Sydney,
Mercedes,
Avery,
Savannah,
Randy,
Lily.
If it's a boy, of course.
I love this name.
It's my son's name.
Who is in heaven? His name is Caleb. I love this name. It's my son's name, who is in heaven.
His name is Caleb.
I also like the name Clay, Toby, Evan, Jaden.
If I think anymore, I'll message you, but I'm so happy for y'all.
If I ever think again.
Here's a really short one.
I got one. Hold on.
I wish I could carry twins,
but I was told I would never have kids,
and I have an eight-month-old baby girl.
I lost my son five years ago,
and have had four miscarriages in my life.
Good choice.
Good to tell Jenna Jameson about that.
I had a miscarriage.
Porn stars must know about it.
Yeah, I had a miscarriage, but at least must know about it. Yeah, I had a miscarriage,
but at least my child will be carried by Jenna Jameson
so it lives on.
I love the names Sterling, Maverick, Montgomery,
Remington, Rockwell for boys.
My husband and I were really hoping for a boy
because we already have a little girl.
We're having another girl
and still as happy as ever
renaming her Madeline
Kenly
see I thought maybe they'd still name
her Remington or something
Remington Rockwell
this is short
Enos is a nice
name
hosted by Enos on September 27th short. Enus is a nice name. Ball. Posted by
Enus on September 27th.
How about Nevaeh for a girl?
It's heaven backwards.
I already did that one.
They're really into Nevaeh. There's a lot of them,
actually.
Hey, how about Nevaeh?
Guys, Nevaeh.
Victor, will you take that thing I posted?
That would be our sign-off thing.
How about Lele? It's hell backwards.
It's from
Suicide Blonde.
Oh, Suicide Blonde.
Yes.
Tilda, Tilda, Tilda, Tilda, Tilda,
Tilda, Tilda, Suicide Blonde.
Tilda, Tilda, Tilda, Tilda, Tilda.
Think of those who mean the world to you and make some sort of combination.
I realize that's a lot of folk for you, but hey, how about JT for a boy or a girl?
It's a pretty emotional thing, really.
I had a hard time.
Then one day when was still pregnant, leaving a favorite restaurant day with my two favorite people in the world
with me in the middle,
it just hit me
almost like God tapped me on the shoulder.
The first part of her name came from Kay,
like a second mom to me,
and Lee, my mom's middle name,
and Dawn as her middle name,
which is also the middle name of my friend
who introduced me to her daddy.
That's how I cam-y up with Kaylee Dawn.
That sounds like a Japanese noodle dish.
Kaylee Dawn, the Terran-y Dawn.
People think it's a stupid name, but they don't know how much thought I put into it.
People think it's a stupid name, but they don't know how much thought I put into it.
Here's a really sweet one.
I'm just glad that Suicide Blonde took a break from posting on Yahoo Answers to guest star here.
I like if it's a girl mixie.
That's it.
Now his babby name formed?
It's short and above all to the point.
I too like a girl mixie.
In an age of stupid celebrity baby names,
it seems no one has respect for the classics anymore.
The best girl name I know of was also a country song by Brain White called Rebecca Lynn.
The name itself says beauty class and sophistication.
Also with a name like that,
you'd be more likely to become a real estate agent,
insurance salesperson,
or even fashion design.
All right.
Here's one for you,
man.
All this celebrity culture is such bullshit.
I think you should choose a name that a country singer sang about.
Victor for boy, for girl, Sylnia.
That's all I can give you off the top of my head.
This is from Marissa.
I think it is awesome you re-having twins me-nd.
Okay. Wait, I got to start that over. Hang on. Sorry. All right. you re having twins me and my husband.
Okay, wait, I gotta start that over. Hang on. Sorry.
Alright. I think it is awesome
you re having twins
me and my
husband.
Give it together.
I have to post it so you know what I'm looking at.
Okay. I have to post it so you know what I'm looking at oh
let's wrap it up
third try
oh my god
Harley Quinn
you three having twins
me and my husband
okay I got a comment here to give you a little Awesome. You three having twins. Me and my husband.
Okay, I got a comment here to give you a little break if you need another moment.
Ben tried for three years to get pregnant with no luck. We have two daughters, but we like boy.
It will happen eventually. I have faith. I think it is a really cool name for a boy or girl would be Harley Quinn.
Oh yeah, you should name your boy Harley Quinn.
It's what we wanted to name our next child.
So if you like it, you can use it.
Much love and congrats.
Isn't that from a Batman cartoon?
It's from Batman. It's Harley Quinn, the Harley Quinn.
It's also what Kevin Smith named his daughter.
Yeah, it's what Kevin Smith's daughter is called.
Oh my goodness.
He has a father named his daughter. Yeah, it's what Kevin Smith's daughter is called. Oh, my goodness. His father is his director.
What I love about this thread is so many of the guys' names are generally really normal,
but so many of the girls' names just sound like straight-up porn names.
If it's a guy, I think you should name it Ethan.
If it's a girl, you should name it Princess Penis Mouth.
Princess Penis Mouth. Not Princess Penis Mouth!
Found, um,
at sign, pipe,
close parenthesis, and yen
has a comment about that.
Please, please, please, please,
x100, no,
unique, unique,
spellings of any names. I hate it. I think it's stupid.
And it just shows ignorance
Boots, would you take this
This specific post here
Yeah, this is very important recollections
Oh, this
This is these girls
You have to yell this.
I've got to close my window. Hold on.
I'll be right back.
You know, that boot you,
neighbor, until he started
shouting about girls
in the net.
I'm sorry, Derry.
I just had to yell about porn stars on the internet. I hope it's not a problem, Derry. I just had to yell about porn stars on the internet.
I hope it's not a problem, Derry.
I never expected when I found this that I'd have to read it.
Okay.
This is Young Good Money.
These girls I haven't seen do anal.
That is a sexy
ass woman right there, but just
because she does do anal, I don't have any
movies of her. Can anyone
make that happen? I mean,
if LT can get Carmen Hayes
to do anal, why not
Isla Fox? I mean, I know
that there are some girls that just won't do it.
That is cool, but man, fuck, there has
to be some way to get her to do anal.
Shit, what about angel eyes?
I see
her less and less nowadays.
Why haven't she do anal?
Can someone
please make that happen?
How about Sarah J
and Pinky?
Make her do anal.
You think it's just going to deny the world
a chance to see them taking up the ass?
That's very selfish.
Oh, thank you,
young money. You've given me my new pickup line.
Can I fuck from the ass?
No, that's pretty selfish of you.
I just love how they keep
talking about making it happen.
Just sneak it up on the street.
There we go.
This mouth is new to me,
but what about Ava Lauren?
She's sexy, but no anal.
What the fuck is that?
How about a chick I haven't seen in forever
like Frankie LaRue? Bitch was sexy as hell, but why is he? How about a chick I haven't seen in forever like Frankie LaRue?
Bitch was sexy as hell, but why is it
getting fucked on a
series?
If you don't like it,
fuck you. Shit, man, I would
love to see Nina Mercedes
do just one fuck
BWA.
What about Caramel?
Sexy motherfucking ass man.
What the fuck's she at?
Lexi Cruz? I mean, damn,
why hasn't she had a dick in her ass already?
It's so romantic.
It really makes you think, doesn't it?
It really does.
I mean, why?
To tell you the truth,
I have no idea
what Destiny DeVille is
black Indian Latin, but she needs
a dick in the ass.
I'm going to romanticize you.
She needs a dick in the ass.
How has Lacey DeVille
been around so long without getting
fucked in the ass?
Fuck Bambi Bliss and Nautica Binks,
and you have a movie because they're sexy and will do anal.
Sorry.
You're almost there.
I'm just, in my head, I'm picturing this being done by Derry Seinfeld where is Tyra
bag 666
she has done anal before
but have her do it again
Tyra Moore
and those huge fucking tits
should have a dick in her ass
man what the fuck
those tits should have an ass
so I can put a dick in it
please
please supplant an ass
on those tits
so that I can put a dick in it
I don't know anatomy but I do know so that I can put a dick in it.
I don't know anatomy, but I do know what it likes to get a dick in.
Mel O'Deepliss.
Pink, not Pinky.
Mary Jane.
Lori. Alexia.
Candice Van.
Alicia
Tyler Paradise.
And let me not forget
Roxy Reynolds
beautiful ass
all these girls
need to do anal man cause to tell you
the truth I'm tired of seeing the same
8 or 9 chick
do anal
now don't get me wrong
they do a hell of a job
but how many times can you watch them and still want to see them again?
Them versus you versus me!
Son, you need Jesus.
Get them penalized!
That was great.
I was picturing that as the man on my porch that's just
just pacing
around shouting
or like one of those guys on a subway
in New York like you're just
commuting to work and then
hey
I like the three posts down
there's some guy that goes through and
oh yeah
apparently all of these people did anal.
Victor, go be helpful, will you?
Angel Eyes did
anal in What It Do
number one, and
did low anal in
an Evil Angel Belladonna
slash Nacho movie in 2004.
Sarah J bliss did anal when she was the hot new
thing pink did almost all anal when she was the hot new thing.
Lori Alexa did
anal before and now with her
new stage name.
Candice Vaughn did anal
in Booty Talk 61,
one of her first few
scenes.
That's a lot of booty talk.
Check IFT.
It's helpful in finding stars' histories.
I checked IAFD after I saw that.
It has a listing by category of dead porn stars.
Oh, that's depressing.
It's incredibly depressing.
These are the porn stars that were murdered. These are the porn stars that OD'd. These are the porn stars that were murdered.
These are the porn stars that OD'd.
These are the porn stars that died of AIDS.
Oh my god.
Do they also have a list
of all the porn stars who are still alive?
It's a much
smaller list.
Don't look at me.
I just jerk off to porn databases
all day.
Check it out.
Squiddy, will you take the first post on this link here?
Sure, let's see.
Nothing could possibly be bad about this.
Oh god.
Porn's most hated. I love smut, but something's gotta give.
I can't believe how many people like Brian Pumper and Stacey Cash.
I think they both blow dog.
So let's have it.
I put up a best all-time list and got mixed reviews.
So who do you guys hate?
I personally hated Guy Silver or DeSilver, whatever that fucker's name was.
To me, Pumper could be great, he just doesn't put forth the effort.
Oh, Pumper.
Oh, Brian Pumper, you're not living up to your potential.
He's the Pumper that couldn't.
He's being shown up by Gary Large Penis.
Nautica Thorne is another Thororn in my side she's one of the best looking performers in the business
but an asian that doesn't do anal is like a steak without onions man
that's what i always say wait what time i didn't know that's the most unusually racist sentence Like I'm offended I think
Others include
Um
X-Tachy
X-Tachy
Coco and Chocolate, Temptress, Asia Carrera, Racist
Raveness, Terry Weigel
Valentino
Sky Taylor, Tiffany Mason, Nikki Fairchild Guy De Silva, Ray Victory, Naomi Marcella, Bridget Powers, no midgets and regular-sized people porn.
Also racist.
Savita Rose, Mary Carey, Santiago Lee Van Damage, Lee Stone, Max Hardcore
Ben Dover, Stacey Cash
Kyle Jammer, Genevieve Jolly
Mr. Biggs, how can he be cocky and gay
and don't forget
that's impossible
those things are mutually exclusive
this is the weirdest bigot
all gay people are supposed to be humble
these are just a pinch of homophobia
these two stereotypes I've never
heard of before
I just love
An Asian that doesn't do animals
Like a steak without onions man
And that specifically points out someone named Asia
As being racist
Maybe that's what they're basing it on
I don't really understand
Anything that I just said
And then Squiddy go down to
There's one called Still Begging.
You just have to read that.
Still Begging.
Look who's back, Aguaman.
Takes one and no one, Primate.
Smutfucker, H2Ho, but then again,
I guess you wouldn't actually have to be getting some
to actually be considered a ho.
Then again, on a porn forum,
ho is a good thing.
And you're just a thing.
It's not my fault animals run from you, you silly putty.
I see you sold some tin cans and bought bitch crap, which means you followed my advice.
Hey, wait, I thought I was against clan code to talk to Africans.
Though didn't know the clan accepted gays, isn't that forbidden?
What do you mean?
He wants to get an insult in there, and he likes them all,
so we'll just throw them all in there.
Maybe something will stick.
What the hell is going on?
What is she talking about?
He's mad, and he's not sure why.
I'm so angry, I'm going to list things.
He's going to fire off a whole bunch of insults,
and maybe one of them will take, and, you know, good.
I guess.
I know they forgot to read it to you
can the clan read i thought they used percussion instruments to communicate i would like pink
pinky pink this pop star to sit on my face i know it would be better to beg for that instead of
being a lazy cow begging the same man you insult for something that isn't real rummy
i speak in wow i am from the clan. When you collect more
cans, buy No Man's Land
Latin Edition. You might like it.
Now back to porn's most hated
beggars, fans who are rummies, homeless people
who beg for free porn so EA doesn't squirt
Dildo Fest and charges $100 for it.
What are the beggars going to do?
Last time I checked, lesbians didn't whine.
Francis Deck
has gone even more crazy.
Porno gangster computer god.
Clan who speak in percussion instruments, moon power.
My name is Force of Nature, and I have
a problem with your list.
You'd have to explain why you hate
a few of the people on that list to me.
Here are some of my objections.
Cal Jammer.
A suicide about 15 years ago.
It's a complete waste of effort
to hate the poor guy.
Rip, Cal.
Max Hardcore. Currently doing about
the next three years in jail. He's a crazy
fuck, but you have to have some
sympathy for his present situation.
Chocolate and Mocha!
Not doing much in the business for about the last
eight years. They were a chocolate fantasy
back in the day, and they both did
anal in close to 100% of their scenes.
They are pretty ghetto
with nasty and
not-in-a-good-way attitudes.
But why hate them when their careers
are about over and they are moving on with their
post-porn lives and they are popping
out babies these days?
Guy Silva? The dude
was born with an ugly Neanderthal
look. Give him your pity,
not your hate.
Sativa Rose!
Even with her bad attitude,
any of us posting on the forum with the capital f
would fuck her at the drop of a hat her lips were custom designed for her oral skills
and pleasures and she's been doing anal for the last 18 months plus five years of resisting it
so what's not to like about this latina hottie? Hola, Sativa.
Hola. Lucy Tai and the
Tai sisters. Lucy
has an amazing body with great
curves, even if she's a textbook example
of a whore.
For a performance performer
who compartmentalizes her life.
From her interviews, I'd say she was well
bred and well raised, and that she's
a bit embarrassed about the way she's come to make a living,
as opposed to the majority of these sluts who are simply beyond shame!
Lucy clearly got into porn for the money and some big short-term financial gains.
Not for the love of it, for some reason.
Not for the artistry.
Get into porn for the money. What's this world
coming to? And she probably can't stay in the business for as long
as she has.
She probably has a totally
different life away from the camera.
Comma, parenthesis, dressing
sensibly and in a non-slutty way
and she might even have
an actual non-porn job!
The goody
two-shoes who tries to blend...
Whoa!
So now she's a goody two-shoes. Jesus.
She's a whore, but what
really pisses me off is what a prude she is.
A bit of a goody
two-shoes who tries to blend into
society when she's not working in porn.
She still gives strong effort and
hot performances before the cameras. As opposed to that, he thinks when she gets her working in porn, she still gives strong effort and hot performances before the cameras.
As opposed to that, he thinks
when she gets her cable fixed, he has
to start fucking every time.
Like, the plumber comes over and she's
like, oh, well, here we go.
This is the cable. Here's my
ass.
That parenthesis never ended.
No, that parenthesis didn't ever end.
We're still in the parenthetical statement.
Forever.
I don't know about your sisters to comment
except that they are strictly non-anal.
And I don't hate porno girls
just because they won't take that rocky ride.
Ben Dover.
Nothing but good, dirty
anal fun from Ben.
With a touch of Brit goofiness thrown in.
I could create this bloke, and his movies are becoming rare collector's items in the States.
He was really prolific in the 1990s and early 2000s, but the spunk stream has dried up considerably.
I could use a copy of Ben Dover's Anal Spunkfest
if any of them were
God couldn't we all
not to watch
but just to show off
that's like those titles
aren't ironic
to me the only reason to hate Ben
is that he didn't make more of his movies
available in the USA
he's still porn royalty in the UK.
False of nature.
So in the UK,
porn royalty, is that different from
the actual royalty?
You're actually knighted by the queen.
Oh, okay.
But which head?
Oh!
Alright. But which head? Oh! Oh!
All right.
I got quick, quick, quick, quick, quick little bit.
Is it the health advice one?
No, no.
There's two very quick things.
This one's just a sentence.
But, Victor, would you just read that sentence for me?
William H., you should use the word gang blow
in place of the term blow bang.
It really is more descriptive
if you think about it.
You know what? That's true.
I have to confess, I don't know how
I could argue against that. I have no know how I could argue against that
I have no idea how I could argue for it
okay and then the last thing
is a health issue
now you might think this is Yahoo Answers
but this is inside of a porn forum
a porn discussion forum
will you
Stog will you take
Uchiha
Sasuke?
Uchiha Sasuke, it's a character from Naruto.
Oh my god, it's a man.
I don't know
if it's a pity for you or not
that you know this.
You can feel as much pity for me as you want.
And Boots, you're a debaser.
I am.
You've got you a movie. Did you grow up to be one? You can feel as much pity for me as you want. And Boots, you're a debaser. I am. Okay, okay.
You've got you a movie.
Did you grow up to be one?
All right, cool.
Ever pee sperm?
A few hours ago, I was in the bathroom going about my business when I noticed as I am peeing,
a large string of white stuff starts coming out of my tube with the pee and hangs on the end
of my head
joke.
Why is that so funny?
Ever Peace.
I can only assume it's leftovers from last night's
relief session.
It was weird, though.
Has this happened to anyone else?
I'd also like to point out
that you should not take
Ever Peace sperm as a tonic.
It's more of an ointment.
that you should not take ever-pee sperm as a tonic. It's more of an ointment.
For health and vigor,
drink ever-pee sperm.
Ever-pee sperm's
tonic.
Okay.
Debaser. It's a digestive.
No, but welcome
to adult talk, fellow pervert.
I have peed after whacking off, and pee has flown in every direction,
because my pee hole was lodged with dead sperm.
Sorry, guys.
Oh, God.
That's already gross, but lodged with dead sperm.
He typed those words.
Sorry, guys.ged with dead sperm. He typed those words. Sorry, guys.
It makes a mess, and I
have to take a shower to clean myself up.
Oh.
Oh.
Boot has a response for all
of this, if I may.
Retrograde
ejaculation? This means that the semen goes backwards into the bladder instead of coming out of the penis,
so that very little or no semen is ejaculated at the time of orgasm,
and the urine looks cloudy after having sex.
This occurs when the bladder's sphincter muscle does not contract properly during orgasm,
as a result of which the semen leaks back from the urethra into the bladder.
This could be caused by prostate surgery, a spinal injury, diabetes,
high blood pressure medication, and congenital
problems. A simple way to
diagnose retrograde ejaculation is to examine
a man's urine after he ejaculates.
If there are sperm in the urine, this confirms
the diagnosis.
Uh, get me coffee
is slightly less substantial.
Hey, you ever drink
your possessive own pee?
Wait, there's a direct response to Boots.
Hey.
To boot apostrophe S post.
Prince of Saturn says,
Okay, is there a cure?
Is there a cure?
Is there a cure? Is there a cure?
Oh, they say porn doesn't hurt anybody.
This happened to me once.
It was because I was high on meth for the first and only time.
Life is much better off of drugs.
You don't pee sperm.
See, that's what they need to tell you when the little drug officer comes
to your fifth grade class and talks to you.
And somebody can read
Mopower, which follows. I'm going to read
Cemetery Man. Not peeing sperm.
My anti-drug.
Remember, people, it's semen, not sperm.
Sperm are not visible.
Or if you prefer, cum, banana juice, baby batter,
cocksnot, but not sperm.
Well.
I don't think I prefer baby batter or cocksnot.
Banana juice.
What are you talking about? There is so much eroticism in the Or cocksnot. Banana juice. What are you talking about?
There is so much eroticism
in the word cocksnot.
That's banana juice.
Banana juice.
Banana.
Does my cock need a tissue? And there we go.
The vocal and exuberant fans of pornography.
John, what do you think we learned this week?
I learned that apparently sex is just kind of, well, sex, one thing.
I mean, pornography has just become kind of commonplace and kind of boring.
It's kind of a thing.
Like, you know, it used to be, especially when I was, you know, a teen growing up, was kind of a thing. It used to be, especially when I was
a teen growing up, it was such a thing.
It was like, oh god,
pornography and going to the store and can we steal some
or whatever. It's just, oh my god.
Now it's just like dudes talking about, hey, you ever done anal?
Hey, how was it
with that guy doing that thing?
It's just another
thing to talk about. Who cares?
I guess we've all become disenfranchised.
And yeah, when it's not, you know, it's,
I mean, when we go through,
when we've gone through episodes in the past,
you know, we've had a lot of talk
about people's specific fetishes, you know,
just very recently we were talking
about people's inflation fetish. And people, just very recently we were talking about people's inflation fetish.
And people of, you know,
these porno fans
are fetishists
insofar as they
want specific people
to be sodomized and not enjoy it.
Right.
I think that's what we're looking at here.
And it's also one of those things where, you know, you have this conversation about pornography being mainstream.
And, oh, you know, more and more people are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And yet, the people who are actually porno fans are still the same creepy people with bad social issues as it's always been.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, it's the same people people you just are able to see them easier but it's still just kind of i don't know
i think it's also it's gotten a bit more though because you know like i watched this uh an older
movie it was uh george c scott and it uh what was it hardcore and that whole porn scene is just it's
really underground and it's really weird.
And they're all – the whole – it's got pretty much like porn and porn movies are just in the red light district in that.
Now you can accidentally type in like one word wrong in a Google search and then the whole world just boom opens up to you of all this porn that you weren't even thinking about seeing.
That's always my excuse. But the point is, is that, you know, it's just, it's kind of part of the internet.
Not only are you seeing all these people just talking about it, just regular,
but it's also more available, so you get more of those people.
And it's just, you know, I think that's it.
It's just kind of a boring thing now.
Just, hey, girls having an arrest, whatever.
Now that you mention it, porn is more accessible these days.
I really wish the local news would do some sort of special about that.
That would be really enlightening.
You know, I just thought I haven't gotten scared enough about it yet,
so I'm hoping that happens.
The website is always thefpl.us.
Like us on Facebook, become our friends in Internet ways,
and we'll bring more podcasts to you.
Yeah.
Find weird sites.
Send them to us.
We always like having material.
Yeah.
So we don't have to slog through a whole bunch of porn forums anymore.
In other words, save us.
And thank you for listening.
Please help us.
Please help us.
Thank you for listening.
Until next time.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye. ស្រូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រ ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА Thank you. our topic is pornography
hooray
I love pornography
where are you going to find that
specifically
a special 18 hour episode
we're just going to
watch pornography and describe it
well Citrus already did that
during T4
we've got a whole schoolhouse rock styled song
showing you how to find it on the internet